Jill Duggar Dillard’s relationship with her family today, after “Counting On” | Salon Talks

Jill Duggar Dillard tells “Salon Talks” about her memoir “Counting the Cost,” in which she grapples with feeling retraumatized by the legal system after details about her brother’s abuse were shared publicly, how her father and faith community controlled her, and being tricked into signing contracts that she didn’t understand. Duggar Dillard opens up about deciding how she would tell her story in order to take back control of her life and the trauma caused from her upbringing on “19 Kids and Counting” and in the Institute in Basic Life Principles. “I was adamant that I would not tell it in a way that continued to expose very private parts of my story,” she told Salon. Now that her memoir is out, Duggar Dillard also shares what her relationship is like with her family and her day-by-day approach to seeing them. “Every day is not easy, and right now is one of those seasons,” she said.
Learn more about "Counting the Cost: here: bookshop.org/a/2464/978166802...
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[@debhalbot5420]

Jill and her husband Derrick have navigated all of this with great integrity. Much respect for them both!

[@mollycote1021]

Absolutely 🎉❤💪🏻

[@debiogle3798]

Also Jinger and her husband.

[@mariaferreras4369]

I’ll never forget JimBob not remembering on the witness stand, the most important and devastating news that his son SA his daughters. How awful. How hypocritical! Despicable.

[@s.c.2424]

Agreed. As a sister, I can't imagine also not standing with her. As girls especially. But instead it's "hey stop putting the abuse out there and fall back in line." She has always came across as such a kind and sweet individual. She still has so much to unpack and I hope at some point, it gets easier for her.

[@KYCyn1066]

Has to protect his son at all costs, and his daughters were collateral damage. That should have been the title of her book. The IBLP doesn't care about women outside of their ability to breed children.

[@ckaydw]

Broke my heart for the girls.

[@wendirose509]

Amen!!!

[@kimberlyritenour9489]

What hit me hard was Jim Bob as a man of God put his RIGHT HAND ON THE BIBLE AND LIED!

[@lightningbug276]

I admire Jill so much. She really stood her ground and yet showed Grace and kindness.

[@lynnkalles2055]

Jimbobs trickery towards his own children shows us all just how greedy and evil he really is

[@elinebrock5660]

He's definitely not the Godly man that pretends to be.

[@nightowl8548]

Pulling away from her dad has been so positive for them. She has grown up so much and she has so much confidence now. It's wonderful to see!

[@cindybrannen6597]

I just finished the book and it’s so well done. It’s hard to see how dysfunctional the big family was and how Jill’s parents were complicit in throwing the girls under the bus. Jim Bob literally cheated the kids out of so much because of his greed. Jill and Derrick are incredibly gracious and strong.

[@Francine1117]

I really respect Jill. I also respect her husband! I pray that she will be completely healed from her abuses. I will buy her book. ❤️

[@merricat3025]

It's a good book

[@katpillar4131]

​@@merricat3025agreed! I just got done listening to the audio book. It was very raw and surprising at times.

[@andreesimoneau6167]

The mother that stood by is even worse. She had some form of education and should have known better

[@ckaydw]

I agree. Josh didn’t have to pay for what he did to his sisters. If he did maybe he wouldn’t of done all the things he did. But the girls went with no help at all. How could she do that.

[@Lisa-fe5uh]

Her book was amazing. I had no idea how bad it really was. I’m so glad she didn’t skirt around anything and boldly told the truth Good for her

[@AngelaVEdwards]

*I got Jill's book yesterday and was able to finish it same day. It was a great book. I would warn Jill, however, that the issues she had with her father did not **_only_** belong to her father. Her mother contributed as well and her mother could have done a lot of things to offset some of the things her father did and she didn't. Her mother has just as many "issues" as her father does but Jill doesn't see it. She speaks of her mother as if she were the most wonderful person on earth, hands down. No, Jill. The issue you have is with your **_parents,_** not just your father.*

[@RoyalBlue4486]

I agree that Jill doesn’t see her mom as a problem. I thought in the prologue when she talked about that smile on Michelle’s face that she knew so well would mean she would be speaking more about her mom but that didn’t happen.

[@Lisa-fe5uh]

@@AngelaVEdwards her mom did end being the one who gave them the contract so was she defying Jim Bob ? She snuck out in the middle of the night to give it to Jill

[@AngelaVEdwards]

@@Lisa-fe5uh I think she may have been defying Jim Bob which is good. But Michelle should have done much bigger things like kicked Josh and Jim Bob out after she found out what horrific things Josh did to 5-year old Joy Anna. She should have gotten the girls real, licenced therapy. She also could have made sure those kids got paid for the show and she didn't. Jim Bob AND Michelle benefitted from that. Not just Jim Bob.

[@lindseysanders3656]

⁠​⁠@@AngelaVEdwardsTrue. I think she could be looking at the softness, sweetness and kindness that she sees in her mother and separating it from her father because his personality is different, and the issues are more obvious. That could be more dangerous. Marriage is a partnership, so both of her parents have contributed to this. I will say it’s difficult to untangle from a mess like this, and the mother was young when she met Jim Bob and started on this journey into the cult. Young impressionable people can be sucked in deep, but still, Michelle seems to be able to speak for herself. So, she does bare responsibility. I hope she will wake up and seek help. The narcissistic father is far gone.

[@Servantofrighteousness]

Jill and Derrick are a awesome, fun loving couple, and they handled everything in a very wise, and Godly way.

[@candacev.3802]

I loved the show as a teen. I really admired how the family was so close knit and the parents took great strides to protect the children. I’m just a few years older than Jill. It’s heartbreaking how greed and pride took over Jim Bob bc it really seems like it stared out with good intentions. I loved how she told her story throughout the book. She acknowledged both the good and the bad. And it’s encouraging that she’s still seeking to resolve their relationship challenges.

[@BirteK1975]

I was not a teen when the show aired. But I was always aware that the poor kids were brain washed and that Jim Slob and Shelly were horrible people.

[@Rocwallaby]

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head “greed and pride”

[@cathyr9691]

It was never about protection. It was always about control .

[@barbkopp9021]

Those parents did not protect those girls! Michelle is a despicable mother to not protect her daughters. That is not being a loving mother like the family likes to portray. She should have left Jim Bob, just as Anna should leave Josh.

[@kandygibson6778]

Jill, the truth is often a bitter pill to swallow. There is a reason that people say that the truth hurts. It doesn't mean that you were wrong in bringing these hurts to light. Bless you and your family. The TRUTH will set you FREE!

[@deenaweeks5837]

Breaking generational curses! TYJ for Derrick being such a strong Man in her life and protecting and strengthening Jill! The fact that Jill is so strong and I commend her grace as a strong , beautiful woman! Class Act! 100% epitome of STRENGTH and GRACE

[@cherylw445]

Wow, what an amazing soul Jill is. Every time I hear her speak, or see something she is doing I melt. God bless you, Jill! Thank you for sharing your story.

[@InfoLunix]

So happy for Jill finding her voice! Congratulations to her and Derick🎊

[@Sielleis]

I was excited to read this book just because I wanted to learn more about Jill's story, but I didn't realize how relatable it would be. I have a complicated relationship with my parents for very different reasons, but so much of what she wrote resonated and reading the book/hearing her speak is therapeutic.

[@andreesimoneau6167]

The sad part is the betrayal of their father. That man always gave me the ebee bee. Yuck

[@user-gp9es3rd3e]

This is such an incredibly brave thing to share with the world and she handles it with such assurance and grace. I'm sure it took a lot to get to the point where she felt able to discuss it and I'm both happy for her and full of admiration

[@lisarnful]

Is that legal how he basically tricked her into signing that contract? One that didn’t even benefit her financially? Seems so wrong

[@ckaydw]

Love you Jill and Derrick. You’re so brave for coming out and telling the truth. I was so hurt because your parents took Josh side and didn’t help their daughters. I couldn’t and can’t understand your parents on that at all. My Mom would of been on her daughters side and made sure we got help too. I know if they had done right maybe just a small maybe Josh wouldn’t have done all those things. But Josh kept getting away with everything. So to him no law or what he did was all right. I’m so happy Derrick came into your life Jill. He really loves you and cares about you and his boys. I know God is watching over you and your family. God Bless 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@RaquelFrey208]

Jill confronting her past and taking control of her narrative is powerful. Much respect!👋

[@suzandefneklc8167]

Jill grew up to be a strong and diligent woman! I'm glad that Jill has Derrick by her side, it's great how supportive they are of eachother.

[@leslielane8679]

It is so difficult when you love someone - a parent, partner or friend - then realize you can’t trust them and eventually not even like them. The new reality is painful and then you have to struggle with anger which is not what God wants from us. Prayers and best wishes to Jill, Derrick and their beautiful boys.

[@hollylane47]

That would be traumatizing definitely. Anger is a natural emotion. I wouldn't say God doesn't want anger (if I am understanding your comment fully) Bible says to be angry and do not sin. But yes I agree to have someone you trust betray you like that would be heartbreaking.

[@Nikkss_vette]

She is so real in this interview. I love it.

[@Ninitschga]

Jill is one of the many examples of courageous young women standing their ground despite(!) their parents and the way they grew up! So much respect for this woman! ❤

[@Ashley-ue1hs]

I am in the process of reading her book, I can’t stop reading. . So honest and so sweet and what has happened to her in my opinion what her father did to her with that contract is self-serving and horrible and I’m glad she had the nerve to stand up to him and she did what they had to do her and her husband. I wish her all the best her and her family it brings tears to my eyes to see what she went through.

[@gregelek8047]

How can she ever look at her father in away knowing he couldn't remember his daughters being sa

[@melindaturner2527]

When she said "I believe that victims should always be protected," As a Christian this is such an important thing that needs recognized instead of people in the churches supporting the abusers and not being on the side of the victims. it's so not right and very unChrist-like!

[@viccimauldin9786]

Nothing wrong with therapy. Have been through it myself and I have healed quite a bit. Thank you Jill and Derick for writing this book. I also read the book Boundaries that Jill read and it is a wonderful book. I also read my Bible while reading it. In fact, I got so mad at some points, that I threw the book across the room. But that was the victim in me reacting to the pain. God bless Jill and Derick and their three boys. Prayers for continued healing. I too have a controlling parent and I do not have any relationship with them. I saw that they were never going to change and I needed to have peace in our life instead of the drama. ❤

[@bethanywhite877]

The parent’s definitely failed the girls and Josh. Maybe if Josh got the help he truly needed he wouldn’t be where he is today. With that said, he knows right from wrong and continued to abuse and live in his fantasies. He was a father of young children and still made the choice to view the things he did. I’d bet money Josh was being sa’d by someone to abuse at the young age he did. I have worked with young kids and teens who abused their siblings. It is almost always the case in one way or another.

[@njsmkmmsthatsit3518]

Good for you Jill. I wish you and your little family every happiness and success. Much of what was done to you in the name of religion and by people that are supposed to have your best interest at heart was just atrocious. You are a good person that has suffered much but seem to have grown stronger and have an amazing emotional intelligence that I understand has been developed in response to all of the trauma you have lived through.

[@sc3942]

I have so much admiration for Jill and her husband, Derrick. This is what taking control of your life and being empowered looks like. What an amazing journey and transformation she has been through. And she does it all with grace and humility. Truly remarkable.

[@judyturbeville7861]

Jill is a very brave and wise young woman. She has held fast to her faith and convictions.

[@HappinessSparkles]

I really admire how you did this interview with Jill ,my book just arrived and I’m looking forward to delving into it ,I admire her and Derek so much and how they have grown and still keep faith and integrity in there life ❤

[@KatIves721]

Like many others I used to watch, clueless as to what those kids were going through. I am a daughter of a minister and our upbringing was so much more Bible based and not twisted. I’m so proud of Jill and Jessa for speaking out and finding truth for themselves. They are both amazing young women. I hope their siblings can follow suit especially the younger ones.

[@bacaworld7095]

Jill I love the way you are able to speak truth, expose lies and deception and also stand up for yourself and your family. All the while still showing HONOR AND GRACE to your parents. You are such a true treasure. God absolutely gave you the best husband to support you through the challenges and calling he has given you. God bless and keep you all. ❤

[@danabuck6461]

AWESOME interview!

[@SassySouthernSusan]

Jill is absolutely gorgeous!! I love her hair and those adorable big glasses! She looks happier than she ever has and gets prettier with age. Combined with her maturity, authenticity, strength, intelligence, kindness she’s by far my favorite of the kids! She’s one amazing young lady who’s kept her integrity through some very difficult times! Love her! 🙏🏻❤

[@trudysenglishvictorianhome3244]

Boy, Jill's Wisdom was SO what I needed to hear!! I grew up with ALOT of the Stuff she talked about!! Legalism, Sexual Assault, the Lies are all what my Family "sweeps under the rug!". It's heartbreaking! Hearing others stories and how they are dealing with them, is helping me with Setting Boundaries. So thank you!!! 🙏

[@robingpearce]

classy mature young lady

[@marysue7165]

She's a very impressive young woman

[@jaala1759]

Great interview and great interviewer! Thank you for being real, thats a most important ministry. ❤

[@adrianhein]

@Jillduggardillard -if you read this, just want to say you are a rare and beautiful gem. The pressures you have been through, the fires you’ve been tested in have revealed this. Many of us are coming out of the confines of religion and I thank you for being a voice to those who have gone through something similiar but been afraid to talk about it in public. Love will outlast every failure, every heartache, every pain. You will see it.

[@purselmer5931]

Yes, the whole part about "who gives this woman to this man" part of the wedding ceremony I don't like. When my daughter married, the answer from my daughter was, "I do."

[@bettygrable2698]

Jill is strong and brave!

[@alexandrawalker6696]

Jill, I just finished your book. Thank you for your honesty.

[@swampophelia2098]

Her book was fantastic, well done jill

[@cmn6695]

Jill, you are an intelligent woman and you continue to grow. The truth has set you free.

[@ginaw7638]

Jill you have delivered a well written narrative of your life, well done. I think it's funny that Jim Bob is the person who introduced you to Derick and then he backed you on your journey of showing the truth. So happy for you to be away from the toxic religion.....but maintaining your belief in God.

[@sidonnafoust8046]

Great respect for Jill and Derrick. They have handled their journey with integrity and grace, exemplifying God's love

[@gregelek8047]

This immunity for government officials and cops needs to be a law were they don't get immunity and are responsible for there actions it's a bunch of bs.

[@gracemukemba6330]

Im so proud of jill that she stood up for her self.

[@cherryrichley1935]

Sending you all warm kindness to keep you safe enough is enough

[@katiempojer]

I’m loving this she’s so different

[@sharonmartin1223]

Im glad you did this book it was great Jill...I have always loved you and Derrick and always believed everyone was thriwing you under the bus for a while....Im glad you guys got paid for this book ..Im glad you did this book...Be happy happy happy

[@bemlexky]

So glad Jill is telling her truth! #TeamJill

[@sheilagraham3674]

So wise. Eyes wide open. Seek knowledge but always be cautious. Always question and trust your in. Religion should not by be fear and control based.

[@ruthmcgregor4144]

Jill, I read your book. I applaud you for being courteous and brave to speak out!! It’s unfortunate your Mom, was apart of the problem too. Your Mom, didn’t protect you from your Dad or Josh.

[@harleyanne3720]

I grew up with strict parents and punishment that was humiliating. No child should live in fear. I wish my mom had protected us. My sibling moved on over forty years ago and I totally understand. We remain close. She’s kept me sane. I struggle with the “ honor” aspect.

[@lsharp7154]

Jill looks great! She looks relaxed now that she is not doing the IBLP and have opened up! I love to hear from Her and her family (Dillard) as well as Jinger and Jessa!

[@linedancer09]

#TeamJill

[@doubtingdennis]

She is so well spoken and articulate. Very emotionally intelligent. I hope in time her empathy extends to the immense harm still being done to LGBT people in churches like hers and Jingers.

[@paulan7218]

They most certainly have empathy for the LGBTQ community but they will not affirm some thing that God does not approve of.

[@Maggie52209]

You do NOT know what God wants or doesn’t want. Stop spewing your BS and hurting people.

[@maryvee61]

Give me a break. Sick of this being brought up in unrelated subjects.

[@angelapalmer6782]

​@@maryvee61No. What you're sick of is hearing about other people who don't think the way you do. What you lack is tolerance. We all deserve to live in peace, whatever our sexual orientation. If you had read the bible that you preach you would know God said to love everyone. He said to not judge as it is not OUR place. It is his. You have no right to push your beliefs onto others.

[@angelapalmer6782]

​@@paulan7218Have a seat. You have no idea of what God approves of. You claim religion but practice hate and divisiveness. It is not your place to judge.

[@NormaJean951]

Love you Jill!!

[@private2765]

👏👏👏👏Go Jill 🎉

[@beingjanay]

I’m so proud of her. I watched them from the absolute beginning, the discovery short documentary and I thought they had a strong true Christian faith and I admired them. To see how it has unveiled just broke me heart. I didn’t like to see the girls suffer and be controlled. But I’m so glad that they are finding their voice and standing in the real truth of Jesus and not where abuse has been normalized and swept under the rug.

[@christigallup2175]

It's interesting that the girls didn't marry into partners that were from IBLP.

[@TruckDriver2005]

Jill is great, and I can't wait to read her book. However, I feel she would come across better if she wouldn't say yeah after every question before she answers it. The ummms and likes as well make it hard to listen too.

[@NancyAnderson-nt8bm]

I would be the same way she is. It's not easy to do what she is doing!

[@cobyteune]

L❤ve you Jill !!!

[@SeeingHimNow]

Jill and Jinger were blessed with good men who don't kneel at Daddy's feet for a handout. Some of the others, not so much!

[@thegeorges2384]

The bit Jill hasn’t realised is she’s now working with those who want to give more control to the government & less to the family. The reality it, there’s abuse in every institution, especially the education & foster system.

[@Marnarose4433]

Wow her dad and TLC are Evil!

[@Tj-TrustJESUS]

LORD BLESS You Jill as you cleave to your husband as GOD as writtwn in HIS Holy Word which is TRUTH. You have walked through much grief & sorrow, Remember JESUS will use ALL for HIS GREAT GLORY, as HE is doing!! Thank You for being real & vulnerable. LORD Protect you & yours as you walk this new journey...🙏🩷

[@melissaharding8102]

Jill I’m so proud of you for standing up to your dad. It breaks my heart that Jim Bob stood up for Josh instead of y’all girls when y’all were the victims.. I know y’all had to film just to get the house built that Jim Bob got to keep.. I don’t blame you for standing up to your dad because at the end of the day your parents got everything and they could care less about your well being or financial situation because they will spend everything they have on Josh. I don’t blame you for taking break from your parents because their actions show you are just dollar signs to them. Take care of yourself and remember you are your own person and you don’t have to follow Jim Bobs rules..

[@betsylindsay8480]

I hope Jill makes it to the best sellers list and makes millions of dollars ON HER OWN.

[@nancyverhoff2900]

I came from a very dysfunctional family. Fir some reason I thought much of the show was a lie. I hope these young ladies and their husbands and children move forward.

[@bunnygregory112]

I am so proud of Jill Michelle needs to open her eyes and see what Jim Bob is the one needs help

[@janellestoermer5479]

Jill is a very healthy Christian woman. She and Derrick both have good heads on their shoulders. I really enjoyed their book.

[@lisasenn86]

She is a Very strong Godly young Woman. And I’m sure she is gonna save some of her siblings. I am also so proud of Ginger , BUT I still think she is still living under her father’s Thumb somewhat. Not wanting to be disinherited is a very strong hold for Many. And I think Jill maybe the only one that’s 100% Okay without Anything from her Father! She and Derick are doing Amazing ❤ So happy Money and Fame isn’t what’s important to them. God Bless them and their children. I Hope they will take a little time and read the comments. So Many are cheering them on.

[@deborahbrockington294]

Jill said her father told her the contract was about how she gonna get paid. This is so confusing. I thought in her book she didn't get paid.

[@imanicuffee-belk3033]

He manipulated her

[@deborahbrockington294]

I don't think so. Everything is about money. That's my opinion.

[@elizabethwitt2621]

She didn't get paid. Jim Bob took the money from Jill and all the other kids that signed this contract without being informed about what they were signing. They signed it because they trusted their dad had their best interests at heart. He stole from his own children, billed them for all of their childhood expenses to avoid paying taxes and shifted that tax burden to his kids. He is a disgraceful and disgusting man. Michelle is just as guilty because she stood by and let all of this and the SA happen to her children.

[@deborahbrockington294]

@@elizabethwitt2621 In her own words. She just said when she asked her father answered it's about how you gonna get paid period.

[@mysparklingjoy]

Bless you Jill! The world needs more people like to ready to make the difference and love Jesus nonetheless! Stay safe, be happy and remember that you are not alone!

[@gaslight1944]

Although I dislike the religious beliefs, I do applaud Jill’s courage and tenacity. Did Jim Bob and Michelle actually believe their secrets would be safe? I am happy that Jill is now able to monetize herself and earn money on her own terms!

[@melaniefowler8841]

Great questions

[@anat.heistart650]

I idolized the Duggar family as a teen and young adult.

[@mardellahenrichs4121]

JB was a sneaky controlling money hungry liar , telling his kids it was for something , while it was only the way to fill his bank account , we wanted to see the kids , not JB the creepy dad , so the kids should have gotten the money Not JB , why should he have been able to keep all the money , tell lies to his kids to sign their life away , he should go join Josh in prison for what he did to his kids , smart enough to have them sign so they can’t tell the truth , to back Josh for what he did is just sick

[@AngelaVEdwards]

*Something Jill Misses* *I got Jill's book yesterday and was able to finish it same day. It was a great book. I would warn Jill, however, that the issues she had with her father did not **_only_** belong to her father. Her mother contributed as well and her mother could have done a lot of things to offset some of the things her father did and she didn't. Her mother has just as many "issues" as her father does but Jill doesn't see it. She speaks of her mother as if she were the most wonderful person on earth, hands down. No, Jill. The issue you have is with your **_parents,_** not just your father.*

[@gregelek8047]

It's sad that people use religion as a weapon

[@jerisharpe906]

Isn't that illegal to lie to someone & get them to sign without letting them read what they're signing? Buying a house you have 3 days to back out of the contract.

[@marjorym7484]

she is not a mid wire to be a dula there is so much education that goes into it

[@BilliePayneboysel-ub5dw]

Make sure you talk to your kids about good touch bad touch never to young

[@mgm2923]

He knows the will if the father and do them not will be beaten with many stripes.

[@suzannebrady6201]

I hope all of the Duggar children will escape the IBL cult

[@mindyu3478]

I’m happy for her, but I hope they keep going, and realize that she wants her parents to accept her for who she is, yet she said they would not accept it if any of their sons are gay. Very hypocritical, and judgemental.

[@valerievancouver365]

Her father 👨 was unbelievable selfish and non Cristian 😒 😮at all.. He goes to hell. He used his kids...

[@pinkcecily]

Jill needs to quit talking! She loves blabbing about her imperfect family, so religeous of you!!!

[@gregelek8047]

Maybe some can help me but why does it seem in these type religion organization to breed people like her brother.

[@christyanne9981]

Because they’re so obsessed with sex. The whole culture is built around it. Purity, modesty, boys and girls can’t touch or hug-even in a friendly way. Brothers and sisters are kept apart as if they might slip and have sex. It’s ridiculous. In their efforts to prevent it, they breed it.

[@jillhopson2275]

Why did you ask about the SA? Very awkward. This question was exploitative.

[@mrs.8816]

Because it's an interview about the book she wrote?

[@jillhopson2275]

@@mrs.8816 but over and over in the book she kept speaking about how intrusive those questions were. That could have been left out.

[@anonymouse0221]

Jill is a lay midwife.

[@anonymouse0221]

I wonder how much Derick has purposely played Jill against Jim Bob for the almighty dollar.

[@pmsbetty1]

More than you think.

[@NYChica23]

Is it really playing Jill against her dad if her dad sold her and the rest of her siblings out for the fame/to suck more people into their cult, and Derick just helped her see the truth?

[@Potato5115]

what they did wasn't "illegal". your dad made that up. I'm sorry you were hurt repeatedly... doesn't the blame lay with your brother & parents??

[@spiritofanu3112]

Wondering if Jill and Derrick still adhere to the believe that being gay is an “abomination of nature”. Just curious

[@mrs.8816]

I don't think they ever did. That was a smooth move by Derrick to get our of his contract with tkc. I said it back then.

[@spiritofanu3112]

@@mrs.8816 interesting

[@NancyAnderson-nt8bm]

Why even mention it?

[@spiritofanu3112]

@@NancyAnderson-nt8bm because of the hypocrisy

[@margesinclair451]

Why not mention it?