Dr. Ramani Interview: Clues to SPOT the Narcissist EARLY!

[@chakralove4300]

I actually got with my husband because he was the man in the corner being quiet, nice, polite and reserved. He was not the charming, charismatic guy. He turned out to be a covert narcissistic so be careful because the nice quiet guy can be worse. At least you see the charming outgoing guy coming! lol

[@rachelarmel7547]

Excellent point.

[@AlishaThomas112]

That's how I got caught too.

[@martinworkens6130]

They are like zombies!

[@TaymaShine]

So don’t date anyone? Got it 👍

[@achiengnyawade8540]

I met this type too,infact,this thpe is downright psychopathic! I rem telling my friend,"I thought I knew what a narcissist looks like,how did I let this happen?!?!" I bought the polite,humble,quiet,agreeable guy narrative

[@crankiemanx8423]

I wonder if she really knows how much she is helping so many people by educating us.such a beautiful well spoken lady .❤️ Much appreciated.

[@margaretclinton9459]

Very much appreciated. Love how SHE BROKE THEM DOWN. EXCELLENT. She is excellent for those in the Medical field.

[@lizmcvey1294]

This lady has got me through so much..She’s my go to person.....

[@mb4782]

She's obviously narcissistic herself. She's more self absorbed in hearing herself talk instead of sincerely conveying information to others.

[@DavidBaronStevensPersonal]

I think she does. She seems to be interested in making the info available to the masses

[@liambenyamin5482]

The authentic answers never are related to behavior control , even if it is a Western Idealistic Myth. People honestly deserve to experience the authenticity that deepens mutual connection w/o emotional contagion. Life was meant to be based on experience quality and free choice. Narsassism is everything BUT authenticity. Healing modalities at this juncture would bless so many with the gift of natural grounding...

[@joshualovelace3375]

48:38 "For a Narcissist, forgiveness is permission" WOW! That really hit me

[@amber40494]

Yes, it's true although I haven't reflected on that enough! I think deep in my subconscious I still believe that I will get better treatment from the narc if I'm kind again and again

[@marianlyons5130]

I don't necessarily agree with that. You can forgive a person and not have anything to fo with them. Doesn't mean you still take their shit. I love Dr. Ramani, but don't agree 100% with everything she says. I would not be a critical thinker if I did.

[@amber40494]

@@marianlyons5130 silent forgiveness or are you telling the narc you forgive them?

[@marianlyons5130]

@@amber40494 let them go, get them out of your life, but forgive them with your soul. Put yourself first.

[@amber40494]

@@marianlyons5130 I left my narc family and my narc ex, but it seems that everyone I know is narcissistic in some way. It's awful.

[@karlasnyder645]

I am 27 years old and I just realized that my father is a narcissist (no wonder why my codependent mother got cancer and had a nasty death.) Now I am realizing that I have attracted narcissistic men into my life. I'm leaving my boyfriend and allowing myself to heal.

[@yuu_miran]

How do you attract them? that's the concept ive been struggling to understand but no luck. its not like its written all over you 'narcs are welcome', right?

[@ΒύρωναςΛαδιάς]

@@yuu_miranthat’s the type of “love” you’re used to receiving by your parents so that’s what you expect from a partner too, unconsciously.

[@yuu_miran]

@@ΒύρωναςΛαδιάς no no i really dont expect that from them, i want healthy love and i do not intend to tolerate abuse

[@alyjiyu]

"Narcissism is the second-hand smoke of mental illness." Brilliant analogy!

[@sarahsiddiqui9591]

I loved that too

[@Walkthepath92]

I wrote it down! And it's so true. Physical illness too. And accidents as well. It's so strange but true. I believe they're the "evil spirits" that our ancestors talked about. :)

[@RepentTimeIsAtHand]

I am deeply grateful that Dr. Ramini has answered the call to be the vessel of revealing this dark evil to the world.

[@amadapittaluga1487]

I worked for one and many times felt that I was intoxicating myself with the rampant narcissism going on

[@Lighthousepreserve]

Npd Antithesis of authentic.

[@ms.turquoise6341]

Once you get into a relationship with them: You start defending yourself, and over-explaining things. You are being gaslighted. Then you feel chronically invalidated, devalued, or crazy. Don't engage! Don't defend! Don't explain! Don't personalize!

[@dr.z3426]

Or you'll have way too many questions about things that don't seem right almost straightaway. I have super strict rules and I'm crystal clear about my boundaries it scares people away tho 🙃

[@ziontatad1554]

Thats D.E.E.P Don’t DEFEND Don’t ENGAGE Don’t EXPLAIN Don’t PERSONALIZE

[@purplelillyx9895]

Spot on 100% ... and I've stopped and they hate it 🤭

[@anneoboyle426]

And, Don't Stay!!!

[@victoriavictoria8074]

Once you know, you go. Best decision of my life. Narc free over 3 years. Healing happened💜 Dr Ramani’s work opened my eyes. 🌟🦋🌸💎

[@helenf1439]

"When someone shows you who they are, listen the first time." - Maya Angelou

[@bjoyful2185]

Correction: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”. Maya Angelou 🥰

[@autumnbrown8158]

Yes!!

[@saramcdowell4735]

Great advice!!!!👍🏻

[@ntiffin72]

I know….wish I’d read that quote in 2018!

[@dlyteeats3868]

MY MOM ALWAYS TOLD ME THIS....

[@lynette599]

_One of the most informative talks on Narcissism I have ever listened to. I absolutely adore this woman...the passion with which she speaks, her intelligence, her ability of explaining a complex matter so that everybody is able to understand, her humour._

[@aktchungrabanio6467]

Don't you feel something's off with her though?

[@aryalogo6624]

not really

[@monolith_g]

@@aktchungrabanio6467 she is a…narcissist

[@i.ehrenfest349]

But more to the point - how did you do the italics, Lynette?

[@andreahoyosl]

True

[@jubs2780]

Never forgive a narcissist, forgive yourself, leave them and live the life you choose to control.

[@frankrault3190]

Meaning to say that there's a whole group of people out there that shouldn't be forgiven at all?

[@makeupunlimited]

@@frankrault3190 forgive them, but from far away.

[@makeupunlimited]

forgive them for your own wellbeing, but far far away from them.

[@judysmith3249]

Jubs27. I am a Christian, follower of Christ. He forgave us, so I will forgive. It's hard but with Christ I can . My ex has never admitted or apologized for the hell and evil he put me through.

[@KingMinosxxvi]

"Never"...Oh thats a good attitude.

[@Opo-D]

I love this, "Intimacy is a mutual exploration of a shared safe place, abuse is anything that takes away the safe place, and addictions are what we do to make ourselves feel good when we don't have a safe place."

[@giuliadi1317]

!!!!

[@heyla8401]

Mic Drop !

[@JamieR]

Wow that hit hard. Wonderfully said! Exactly my experience...

[@mrln04]

That's a profound statement. He said a mouthful

[@treverhutchison6258]

Yep abuse is anything that takes away the safe place. Very true And the flying monkeys are pawns to do jus that. The whole NPD thing is amazing. These people need medication

[@paulineburke7965]

I love you Dr Ramani! I parallel parent with a rich narcissict, have PTSD, receive no alimony, was forced out of the family home and alienated from my son. Fortunately I am a badass Irishwoman who refuses to be a victim so I got smart and informed. Now home owner, businesswoman, happily in a healthy relationship with my son and my gentleman partner. Much gratitude because I could only afford free recourses. 💚

[@eurokay4755]

Pauline Burke: You parallel parent with a narcissist who happens to have more money than he needs. YOU are the rich one because you have invested in your own growth, nurtured your primary relationships and the world is a better place because you're here.

[@Leo-zo6cl]

Wow. Great job. I have a very similar story.

[@AuntyGogo]

You go gal! Good for you!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽Thank you for sharing such an inspiring story 🙏🏽

[@beccasway7218]

Wow... i have a similar story... thank you for sharing i feel stronger knowing im not alone! It has been a tough one learning to stand on my own and not playing the victim. Things will get better! Thx!

[@marciawatley9659]

Good for you!!

[@cannerobertson1]

God she's brilliant. So articulate and insightful. Thank you for having her on.

[@djladyjuicysimpson9053]

Well said I agree 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👍🏿

[@jill3686]

She really LOVES what she does. Few are lucky to have this.

[@cjk7063]

I love her. She saved my life!!

[@angaeltartarrose6484]

"Being in a cult is exactly the same as being in a relationship with a narcissist." ~~Dr. Ramani Durvusula

[@EverythingxBeautiful]

True…

[@timmywitty1432]

CULTure is a cult!

[@justaconversation3729]

Bravo! Where do you think the cults got it from? ...i mean ... really think about that ...they are always -- ALWAYS -- run by a Narcissist

[@victoriacox8940]

@Cyber Troll you must be as you are spending days looking at yourself in the mirror! Which I hate! I just see ugly! Which is sad right? And of course all your views are right! Right? I am definately not a narcissist!

[@governingbodylanguage2025]

Yes.

[@VT-di1jx]

I was married to a "noble" narcissist for 25 years. Love that term. He transported rescue dogs with his private plane. I was the one who suggested it. I said "As long as you're going to waste time and money flying around, do some good while you're doing it." Perfect gig for a narcissist. He was in newspaper articles all over the country, and the rescue world is filled with perfect YOUNG narcissist vulnerable supply. When he left me for one of them, he left me to take care of HIS dogs, never to inquire about or care to see them again. You just can't make this stuff up.

[@velvetindigonight]

Ouch................ you must so appreciate finding Dr R? Mine was a little less glamouros but guess who walked the dogs et al?................... that's right me.............. But supposedly he was the one who 'loved' them .................... I learn't a lot and am soo glad to be 'free' now................. Enjoy

[@kangarookids7497]

He is not worth the time. You will have much better things to do after you are recovered. All the best.🙋🌹

[@defenderofdharma983]

Praying for your recovery.

[@miriamhavard7621]

I don't know if your ex was a narcissist, but the past is past, hope you have a better future 🌺

[@prettypenne662]

Yep mine loves to visit animal shelters. After I adopted animals. It was his big awhhhh moment easy supply with helpers in shelters. Fning sick.

[@annemiller8227]

Started laughing again when she said that charismatic people scare her! AMEN!

[@finewine1963]

Charm is deception

[@ladysigma9654]

Yes. I never liked them. But I fell for the victim though. 🤦‍♀️ And f ucked my life entirely now as I have a 3 yo and I know what's comming if I leave. Because I didn't knew there was such type. Jesus Christ.... I just want a normal life. I feel cursed.

[@annemiller8227]

@@ladysigma9654 actually you don't know what happens if you leave. You DO know what happens if you stay. THAT'S the "hook" that keeps you trapped. "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't " I was afraid of all the things I "didn't know" if I could handle *the unknown" so I stayed saying I could make it better. When I accepted "bad" things could happen if I left (and some bad DID happen.... but MORE good also happened. ) Also... your 3 year old will grow either to be like the narcissist or to be prey to a narcissist. Those are the only choices your child will know. I had a 3, 5 and 8 yr old when I left. They are all adults and I worry I should have left before they were born! (Ironic I know). But as long as you stay both you and your child continue to be injured psychologically (or more). If you are with a hidden narcissist (I could've been great but ..) at least the silver lining is that he's not going to be successful enough (or motivated enough) to be difficult to leave Just don't ever expect anything but trouble. I never fought for anything but custody No child support or anything else. It was too problematic for my ex to go to court to get custody so he encouraged our children to run away (thankfully only one listened). Its definitely not easy. But staying will be harder. But advice is always easy to give bc I don't have to live in your specific circumstance. But when you look back on your choices you can only really blame yourself. Good luck to you. It is very hard. No matter what you choose

[@ysmithriley]

NOW YOU TELL ME‼️

[@tamrasuem9652]

Married to Clergy for 40 years…discarded after 38… divorced at 40… I think I always knew something wasn’t right but choose to rise above because of my faith and the belief that “Love bares all things”. I feel things deeply and never wanted him to hurt, always blaming myself…giving him a pass because of his childhood abuse. I thought I was keeping it all contained in a nice little package until we lost our son tragically and my CN took a turn for the worst. Thank God I found this Dr. she has challenged me to see the truth. As they say the truth shall set you free and it has indeed set me free. I find I have to talk me empathic self into gettin with the program but moment by moment, day by day, video by video, I’m gaining strength and realizing this was never really in my control or my issue. Bless you Dr!

[@duntane3573]

Hi Tamra. I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your son and suffered in your marriage. I am a Christian who is struggling with the impact of some of these personality traits on my mental health and sense of self. I would be grateful for your perspective and or your experience if you wouldn’t mind sharing ? Thanks

[@mozartrn1]

Not married to clergy but a professing Christian at a time I was very vernable and discovered it can be a mask. I didn't know as my conversion was radical under the grace of God. Roman's 5:1.

[@elizabethagnese5474]

LACK OF EMPATHY IS THE FOUNDATIONAL BLOCK OF THE NARCISSIST. THANK YOU, DR. RAMANI.

[@LunnaJannah]

Oh but they fake it so well

[@HYTELES]

Lack of empathy is also presented in the sociopath and psychopath.

[@paulao7022]

I think the narcissist is a bully and can get mean and ugly. They make threats, if ya don't go along with them or don't want to do something for them. I have cut all ties, with a family member because of physical and mental abuse. I just couldn't take it anymore. It was starting to affect my health.

[@pamelaannwalsh4777]

Narcissist have no empathy.

[@resilientangel5915]

@@pamelaannwalsh4777 The one I know said that about me. It was so odd. Until, I realized, he needed to be credible in all of his bad behavior. Sickening, for him.

[@jaa_4166]

Finally someone to tell me I don’t need to forgive my abuser. Letting go with indifference. Thanks so much Joe and Dr. Durvasula ❣️

[@mushizzle4399]

I know what you mean however I also know we Kinda do have to forgive all the assholes because for me if I don’t then I don’t have the ability to be blissful which I enjoy very much. I’ve lived through a lot of abuse. And you might already know this but I struggled with this so I just wanna make sure you understand this because you’re forgiving them not to excuse their bad behavior by any means but so you’re not caring it around basically and letting it affect every single day of the rest of your life and all your relationships. For whatever reason I had incorrect definition of forgiveness. I associated it with religion and immediately I would kill the messenger Instead of listening to the solution and I missed out on a lot of good information because of that but once I became aware of it then I could stop it. and not listen anymore. ***Hugs***

[@joincoffee9383]

@@mushizzle4399 are you a narcissist trying to persuading victims to forgive you?

[@Username74-b8h]

I needed that too

[@PPMOCRG]

@@mushizzle4399 Forgiveness is a personal thing that each of us has to handle in our own way, whatever that is.

[@mushizzle4399]

@@joincoffee9383 lolll I asked the same question. Many times. not about the forgiving the victims because I don’t really have any but my parents got theirDespicable coping skills thrown back in their face many times when I was pushed enough. I was raised by a variety of disorder people and I have a little bit of all of them in me and I have been to the Darkside and I have been to the light side and Ill take the light side hands down every time because I would feel awful if I treat people the way they do. Took me a while to figure it out and nobody ever explain narcissism like this to me I had to date someone to really get it but actually the narcissist I dated showed me a website about narcissism because he wasn’t able to upset me Covertly he had to spell it out for me and tell me that my happiness made him and unhappy. That was a fun experience for sure. So join coffee has anyone ever explained to you how our words say a whole lot more about ourselves than they do about whoever it is you think you’re referring to? Lol. That’s my response to your question and I definitely have some dark traits but I do care about how I make people feel. But having a little bit of grandiosity kept to myself basically isn’t all that horrible considering I didn’t have a lot of things to help with my confidence?! LolI I like that answer. We know what we know until we know something else and my life has been a process a peeling back the layers like an onion removing a veil that was keeping me from seeing things as they are and even then it wouldn’t of explained narcissism to me because my brain doesn’t work like that. I just really started to understand this about six months ago and I am 50 years old. And while I would’ve liked to known about this stuff when I was a kid I’m just grateful I got it now because I look past so many things with people or I did and I don’t wanna waste my time With someone that would walk away from me in a few minutes because I spoke my truth one time lol. ***Hugs***

[@momfromnj911]

I love this woman I was with a narcissist for a year and a half. You don't realize how toxic your life is until you leave them

[@vibehigh5280]

Right!!

[@maslinebere2622]

Still trying to recover after 2 yrs break up

[@momfromnj911]

@@maslinebere2622 I still love him but realize he is not good for me and you have to love yourself more 🥰

[@maranatha8148]

So very true. I'm hanging onto what life I can muster after losing everything.

[@shirleymccowan7402]

You mean that you didn't realize how toxic you were to this woman you loved until you leave them because the relationship didn't work out?

[@susangeorge8681]

I found myself after 14 years of narcissistic abuse by my ex husband and I transformed so much that I find joy in empowering those similarly affected. I am happy on my own now. Yay!!

[@countrybabe1111]

Susan thats great, I got rid of my man too & I am so much better now that noone can abuse me unless I allow it.. I'm staying single too, way to scared to meet another malignant narcississt... "Free to be me!!" 😁

[@indervirsidhu8549]

@@countrybabe1111 God bless you always.

[@countrybabe1111]

@@indervirsidhu8549 Thank you much! 🤗

[@domenicsandri2740]

She didn’t bring up that the narcissist will never ever apologize even though they know they did wrong. Narcissists only care about themselves.

[@homeschoolmom2384]

Or as is the case with my sister, she apologized twice to me in my entire life, the said she lied she really wasn’t sorry

[@Variant1on1]

Some do apologize, but they don’t mean it when they do.

[@ninelaivz4334]

My ex was a typical narcissist. When I asked her to apologise she would give me all the excuses as to why she shouldn't.

[@MsLiberty101]

A true narcissist would not ever think they are wrong which makes them a narcissists to begin with....What has to happen to narcissists is for everyone to abandon them and a lot of bad luck by their own accord that will finally wake them up, not all... but it can happen...if they are brilliant ppl it makes it much harder for them to snap out of it...esp when everything is going their way and ppl are putting up with their behavior because maybe they admire their brilliance and confidence.

[@JS-pw8nr]

Yes, I wonder why she didn't mention that? This lady is a "wolf in sheeps clothing". You've got the thread, now pull hard. Read the story of Narcississus. Read it. Then take another hard look at this womans focus on emotion. How hard is this woman leaning towards emotion? Almost feminist and female-centric... wouldn't you say?

[@roleat]

She is a wonderful woman, so educated and willing to empower others. Thank the cosmos for her.

[@catlove5227]

And very passionate woman

[@adabrosier7854]

Amen to all of that!

[@philliphedges7657]

Dr. Ramani, I am currently working towards a B.S in psychology. I then want to pursue a medical doctorate in psychiatry. Then work towards a PsyD in clinical psychology. I was viewing your videos on MedCircle and was at first, garnering information that I needed to brush up on. However, I came across a video in which you described your patients who suffer from Narcissism. The pervasive idea that you proposed, albeit not as an original thought formulated by you, as a clinician alone, but a common “joke” among medical/ mental health care workers; That Narcissistic people Cannot be helped. And in your opinion, they are all “ASSHOLES”. Dr. Ramani you further went on to politicize a medical mental disorder that individuals SUFFER from to feed your own unhealthy ego or unregulated self-narcissism. As a clinician, a PhD, you should do well to remember why you are in this profession in the first place. Dr. Ramani you state over and over that you need to “know more about a patient” or you “need to know more about an individual’s long standing/repeating patterns.”, to diagnose. Yet, in one foul swoop you not only diagnosed a President whom you do not know nor treat but you then maligned a whole segment of the American population by intimating that Narcissism is what President Trump has, not suffers from; therefore, all the republican party are diagnosed with Narcissism. Dr. Ramani there are three issues at hand. First you gave your own uncensored opinion about patients and non-patients (the president of the United States) and by your own words on camera, those who are narcissistic are condemned by your own feelings towards those patients alone. You then go on to about politics. Not medicine. You then went on to call patients, who are indeed SUFFERING, Assholes. Dr. James Masterson M.D has a wealth of knowledge on the therapeutic alliance. He expounds on how, a clinician can withstand the brokenness of the patient in question (negative cross-transference or Counter-Transference), while at the same time protecting yourself from yourself (as the clinician). The problem may dwell in the patient, but it is the “problems dwelling within the Clinician” that in all actuality are the determining factors in that clinician’s ability to “treat”, “Help, HEAL. All “Patients” are suffering. It’s your lack of “Patients” and technical ability that fails those patients; The patients that you openly deemed untreatable. Yes, there is a broken infrastructure, there is a broken system. There are many variables that impede an individual to 1. Receive help 2. Find the right Help 3. And pay. However, to brand those who are suffering even that, “Narcissist”, who is in fact SUFFERING; Is an incredibly egregious failure on that “clinicians” part. The DSM is a check list, that you’ve seemed to have memorized. But by no means do you give any depth or brevity to what those diagnoses mean to layman by way of example. There is a regurgitation of common knowledge (so long as a person has the internet). Dr. Ramani I say all this with due respect. I also have to say a clinician’s political stand, or favorite color does not matter!! NOT in the clinical setting! As a doctor with a PhD, one would assume that you would be well versed in theory, statistics, and longitudinal research and then realize maybe that is where you should stay. In a Lab. All those that say they are helping, should take pause and wonder, am I helping? Healing? There are many whom are afflicted and just as many who don’t know that they too suffer in affliction. There are many who have degrees but don’t have truth. Dr. Eleanor Greenburg has a perspective that was taught especially to her through the Gestalt perspective. Maybe Dr. Ramani it would be worth looking into, not only for your patients but for your own soul. P.S I’m not trying to be rude. I am an avid lover of my fellow brothers and sisters in this world. Including you Dr. Ramani. Phillip H.

[@retard_activated]

She is an angel and a TRUE AMBASSADOR FOR ALL HUMANS.

[@mariagill5183]

@@philliphedges7657 Narcissism should be a punishable crime. Narcissistic people cannot be rehabilitated or taught to manage their tendencies - it is their life force. They live on it and torture and eventually destroy people with it. Treating it as though it's a mental illness would be like trying to rehabilitate a cannibalistic serial killer.

[@alinamashi]

Dr Ramani and her knowledge on narcissism saved me in my darkest days! She approaches this personality disorder like no one has ever done it before and that's the reason she can help us to survive these relationships.

[@philliphedges7657]

Dr. Ramani, I am currently working towards a B.S in psychology. I then want to pursue a medical doctorate in psychiatry. Then work towards a PsyD in clinical psychology. I was viewing your videos on MedCircle and was at first, garnering information that I needed to brush up on. However, I came across a video in which you described your patients who suffer from Narcissism. The pervasive idea that you proposed, albeit not as an original thought formulated by you, as a clinician alone, but a common “joke” among medical/ mental health care workers; That Narcissistic people Cannot be helped. And in your opinion, they are all “ASSHOLES”. Dr. Ramani you further went on to politicize a medical mental disorder that individuals SUFFER from to feed your own unhealthy ego or unregulated self-narcissism. As a clinician, a PhD, you should do well to remember why you are in this profession in the first place. Dr. Ramani you state over and over that you need to “know more about a patient” or you “need to know more about an individual’s long standing/repeating patterns.”, to diagnose. Yet, in one foul swoop you not only diagnosed a President whom you do not know nor treat but you then maligned a whole segment of the American population by intimating that Narcissism is what President Trump has, not suffers from; therefore, all the republican party are diagnosed with Narcissism. Dr. Ramani there are three issues at hand. First you gave your own uncensored opinion about patients and non-patients (the president of the United States) and by your own words on camera, those who are narcissistic are condemned by your own feelings towards those patients alone. You then go on to about politics. Not medicine. You then went on to call patients, who are indeed SUFFERING, Assholes. Dr. James Masterson M.D has a wealth of knowledge on the therapeutic alliance. He expounds on how, a clinician can withstand the brokenness of the patient in question (negative cross-transference or Counter-Transference), while at the same time protecting yourself from yourself (as the clinician). The problem may dwell in the patient, but it is the “problems dwelling within the Clinician” that in all actuality are the determining factors in that clinician’s ability to “treat”, “Help, HEAL. All “Patients” are suffering. It’s your lack of “Patients” and technical ability that fails those patients; The patients that you openly deemed untreatable. Yes, there is a broken infrastructure, there is a broken system. There are many variables that impede an individual to 1. Receive help 2. Find the right Help 3. And pay. However, to brand those who are suffering even that, “Narcissist”, who is in fact SUFFERING; Is an incredibly egregious failure on that “clinicians” part. The DSM is a check list, that you’ve seemed to have memorized. But by no means do you give any depth or brevity to what those diagnoses mean to layman by way of example. There is a regurgitation of common knowledge (so long as a person has the internet). Dr. Ramani I say all this with due respect. I also have to say a clinician’s political stand, or favorite color does not matter!! NOT in the clinical setting! As a doctor with a PhD, one would assume that you would be well versed in theory, statistics, and longitudinal research and then realize maybe that is where you should stay. In a Lab. All those that say they are helping, should take pause and wonder, am I helping? Healing? There are many whom are afflicted and just as many who don’t know that they too suffer in affliction. There are many who have degrees but don’t have truth. Dr. Eleanor Greenburg has a perspective that was taught especially to her through the Gestalt perspective. Maybe Dr. Ramani it would be worth looking into, not only for your patients but for your own soul. P.S I’m not trying to be rude. I am an avid lover of my fellow brothers and sisters in this world. Including you Dr. Ramani. Phillip H.

[@adebisiarewa6228]

Every opportunistic behavior, evinced chronic narcissism. That's while most successful people make the bill

[@spiritual2020]

@@philliphedges7657 You do realize your response is to and under Alina Mashi MEDIA. Not directly to Dr. Ramani. I doubt she will see this comment. This isn't even her channel. If you feel this strongly about her then perhaps you will reach out to her directly on HER channel or email her.

[@Marely2030]

I've been living with a narcissist for 7 years now, and I feel empty and deeply depressed. I can not leave so I'm in prison, he has taken everything away from me! I just recommend women if you encounter a narcissistic man you must run away before it is too late.

[@fuzzyx2face]

I hope you find a way out, you can do it

[@RashedaF]

It’s not late for you either. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob can deliver you and He will once you are willing and believe that He can and will, it is at that point He shows up

[@gallegoc6005]

Can explain what is He doing to make you feel that way Very interested for my own marriage I am confused whether i am the problem or my partner is Can you explain a little more Will appreciate much

[@andreahoyosl]

Are you ok? Im sure there is a way out! Where do you live?

[@ultimateoptimist5217]

Why can't you leave?

[@wanderingfree149]

Dr. RAMNI is amazing. She's really educated society about narcassist. Love her!

[@giantham2828]

You needed to double check Her with your parents kid

[@MichelleAmalfitanoTwilight1987]

Facts

[@radhakavipurapu432]

If we had known about this earlier

[@giantham2828]

@@radhakavipurapu432 she is the ruler of uncertain minds

[@gracelilyyoshua328]

GREAT AWAKENING 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥⚡ time for GREAT SHALOM PEACE Love Joy Peace 💖🕊️

[@Orius25]

Finally, someone who can articulate narcissism properly and not just write 10,000 articles about "narcissist vs. empath". This was REALLY educational. Thank you!

[@Miss_NatashaO]

Ever hear of a narcisstic rmpath? They're more prevalent than you think.

[@Picca65]

Follow her channel?

[@kathy259]

Our World leaders are narcissists. It's so important to get this message out.

[@Serenityfor1]

Trump is a classic example. So are many Democrats.

[@amber40494]

@@Serenityfor1 theyre everywhere. It's disturbing that they run the country

[@naughtycouple8958]

I just watched an amazing TEDtalk...called something like Why Incompetent Men Become Leaders if you enter incompetent men leaders into the KZbin search bar, it will pop right up.

[@bigceazer]

​@@Serenityfor1 ALL of our Presidents were narcissists not just Trump. its common place in that field. we have psychopaths in congress and as governors. scary thought.

[@PingvinasBuratinas]

Not just leaders.

[@SparkSeekerZankri]

Her book, 'Do I Stay or Do I Go,' informed my divorce from a 28 year relationship, a 22 year marriage, and SAVED MY LIFE. 💯

[@jenniferfletcher66]

I attracted narcissistic men until I had therapy. Now I’m ‘good’ and can usually recognize them after they open their mouths.

[@2Ryled]

Usually they are your best friend right away, and want to have a fake heart to heart wanting to know about your past. Not bc they are interested, its to gain info to smear you with it as soon as you see thru them.

[@ColaBling]

Exactly right, diagnoses happens within the first 2 minutes 😂😂😂🤪

[@amber40494]

Don't you mean you were attracted to them?

[@hollycat6152]

good job

[@victoriabishop1057]

@@2Ryled Is it possible leaving one narcissistic and then coming under the influence of another. I seems to pick those type of people and get hurt. My brother is one of those. For the world he is a wonderful soul. His wife and I know different side of him.

[@shubhisharma4261]

Being with a narcissist can really affect your mental emotional physical health.constant stress fear can develop disease in your body.

[@francoisgouws7288]

Chronic pain!

[@mandolaa]

Exactly!

[@dorothyoputa7627]

You’re right!

[@ericab936]

That is so true. It leaves u scared. I am afraid to date because of my experience. If I didn’t have my kids I don’t know what I’d do.

[@judysmith3249]

@@ericab936 Yes, it leaves you scared. I stayed 28 years.

[@carolashlee8002]

I so glad you mentioned that word be. BE POSITIVE I HATE the word. My son had Leukaemia BE POSITIVE He died BE POSITIVE I left a narcissist BE POSITIVE My daughter has lupus BE POSITIVE I have auto immune diseases BE POSITIVE let’s just get real and let people FEEL what they feel. My son was terrified of dying but constantly told BE POSITIVE

[@guntaf1349]

Hugs

[@tonia.5861]

I’m really sorry 😞

[@crissoa]

I’m sorry. That must have been frustrating. People are allowed to have more than one emotion.

[@hotmomma1552]

It’s sad that people act like it’s not normal to be in your feelings! It helps you to regroup! To get into a place of peace! But in your own time of course! I lost a son to also! I understand what you’re saying totally!

[@kateann4558]

And so irritating if someone belittle your problem or experiences like their are other people who have more problem than you be grateful

[@maryaubin5448]

Thank you so much for saying I don't have to forgive my narcissist. After 32 years of marriage 36 years of relationship, he turned my world upside down. He tried to triangulate my children, I had to give up a job I loved, my home that we built together, I relocated to another state to find a new job and I don't think any of that deserves forgiveness! It's been 5 years and I'm still feeling the ramifications of what he did.

[@ClanHappy]

Thank you for addressing the "spoiled" child/narcissist adult. I don't think this is talked about enough. The narcissist I had to deal with for 13 years was a spoiled brat who never learned shame/compassion as a child, got everything they wanted, learned to manipulate to get, lie and cheat.

[@lifelessonswithjo]

Get the book Healing the Shame that Bings You from John Bradshaw.

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

Some are indeed, spoiled little todlers, who had everythibg they wanted. Love, affection, time...and the vomfort and goodies, they desired. And a no, was not there, because the parents loved him so much. In their vocabulary a NO, do not exist. They are not even smart enough, to understand, that parents are parents, but the rest of the world are not his parents.

[@deankereiakes799]

Yes that’s exactly the way a spoiled narcissistic child as an adult acts in a dating situation. Lies when u tell him he Dosenthave too abs I’d be happy eith a good friendship rather than a half hearted affair ir mediocre marriage he made sure I hit the lousy fake friend snd the whole time begging me to marry When u says no he persisted until it Judy gif so obvious I felt silly every conversation we had never connected Ted snd eitjdnt leave me alone

[@susanrhodes5681]

K Mck - I agree. That is seldom mentioned and I've had many narcs including parents and spouse, close friends, people I dated etc. I dismissed the possibility they might be narcs until this video and I've watched Dr. Ramani for 2 years now.

[@Sooner-im9qf]

@@lifelessonswithjo ...Binds You... Yes it is a great book! And Bradshaw On The Family is another great book by him! Love Bradshaw. RIP

[@lauraw.7008]

"Forgiveness is personal. It doesn't always happen. The real goal is letting go - I am no longer going to carry this burden around. And I do feel resentful-you changed my life and I don't like it," Powerful. Thank you

[@adiconstantin4598]

Indeed. The first step, the one of letting go, is so great. Also, sometimes we can think that we forgave everyone, as we do want to forgive, yet in time, we may discover that we are still resentfull of what they did to us, meaning we want to stay apart from them, or we suspect them to repeat that deed. So, letting go is what permits us to go on with our lovely life

[@countrybabe1111]

"Forgive to be Forgiven" It isnt just about letting go..its about getting yourself correct with... "Jehovah GOD" 😉

[@labeaulieu2465]

Yes this! I needed this and the brilliant answer to make the narc happy and still live a life true to himself yet not harming others..... what a wonderful solution, and good to know there is help! Made a huge difference in my life. I got to the trying to detach and let go, I needed to hear the other issues about the difference between narc behavior and autistic spectrum, now if your incredible brain power could be cast in the direction of co morbidity with autism, DID and transgender issues, how they sometimes appear narcissistic and how to delineate the difference in such a mess of diagnosis, or even if there is confusion between DID and transgender by the medical /therapeutic community , or even the connection between autism and transgender , and DID maybe there is a true cross over. My concern being that I see a trend in transgender community and in treatment with the added diagnosis of autistic and DID leading to an unusually larger proportion /percentage of transgender people being diagnosed with both of these other two issues, in particular my curiosity is with the DID aspect of this trend that bothers me since it is supposed to be very rare.......... also mistreating transgender people , or non binary people automatically like they have DID because of their gender is inaccurate and grossly abusive to an already marginalized population of people both autistic and transgender.

[@gymather3097]

@@countrybabe1111 freedom of religion protects us from people like you

[@shellbell8062]

@@countrybabe1111 Amen, this is why we are to seek biblical wisdom before the wisdom of men.

[@marcialao7589]

30 years as a mental health counselor....only after watching Dr. Ramani's videos and hanging onto her every word, do I realize that "if you understand narcissism, you understand mental health"!Fantastic interview! Thank you Joe and Dr. Ramani.❤️

[@christianpulisic7784]

marcia lao,You look cute 🌹🌷,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!

[@blindandok1415]

30 years? Lmao!

[@javiervidal366]

Agree 💯. Most training programs don't really focus on personality disorders and certainly not to the depth that Dr Ramani covers this topic. Mental health is good at a couple of areas (treating depression, anxiety etc) but mostly ignores personality topics mainly because they are so hard to treat effectively.

[@NancyRodrigoStudio]

Dr. Ramani is a genius. She is changing the landscape of the mental health, deeply understands the urgency needed to intervene on our very sick society. Her message is changing and saving lives, including mine: having survived narcissistic parents, deep thanks.

[@meredithheath5272]

Nancy: Yes - She is!! A National Treasure!!!

[@Angus1966]

Narcissistic parents do the real damage , the child is dependent for some years . The child will surely suffer disadvantage .

[@2Ryled]

Yes but also they will attract narcs. I realized that happened sev times. And now I see I had 4 narcs growing up so I have to be careful. I attract them and get burned every time

[@miriamhavard7621]

True.

[@miriamhavard7621]

@@2Ryled also true.

[@SolKiLittleSun]

I have NPD parents. Then NPD friend. Then Malignant NPD boss. Yes, I did attract to the same kind of evil. That's why I need to learn from Dr. Ramani

[@a.k.emerson1705]

@@2Ryled yes, we do tend to attract them. They can smell that we are their kind of prey, and attract them to us unconsciously or subconsciously. It's hard to end the relationship with the narcissist, some days I feel like I won't be able to do it. I have two I am up against. One I trust to a degree, but I trust. The other one, well I trust that one would throw me in front of a bus to save themselves at all costs...They make you dependent and exercise undue influence that's hard to escape without an attorney or risking the "you're nuts, lady" look from any and all judges or attorneys if I walked up to the bench bc I'd be up there pro se. These apps all have ToS's binding arbitration agreements written in them. It means if you ever want to get Justice for something where a ToS stated you agree to "binding arbitration", they get to choose who the arbitrator is, and you present evidence for your case, aka you're on trial and so are they but with a huge advantage, so why not go pro se in a public court room? Same thing, now!

[@naturalmystic1075]

I love the way Dr. Ramani just puts it out there. Straightforward. That is what is needed. There is no way of fixing a narcissist. The only thing to do is get away from them.

[@RearviewWisdom]

With 30% of the population being narcissistic I think that’s a hopeless and dismissive way to address the issue. These are peoples kids, spouses, sibilants etc. The fact that she said all forms of narcism start with human circumstance and experience tells me there is redemptive measures that can be taken but maybe we aren’t quite there yet. I just feel like the term narcism can and will become as meaningless as the word racists in time to come if we don’t emphasize the humanization of these individuals .

[@mariemason4252]

@@RearviewWisdom If you figure out how to reach these people and "help" them, please, please, let us all know!

[@lauraforconi9111]

YES, WALK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@JoJo-ju7xw]

I think people in the west conflate forgiveness with trust. I can forgive you, but that doesn't mean I have to trust you or be in a relationship with you. Forgiveness is free; trust is earned.

[@thegreatestislove8604]

That’s a perfect way to put it.

[@sarabjeetkaur7689]

Indeed

[@tonia.5861]

I agree!! I also believe that people confuse forgiveness with the perpetrator getting off “Scott free”.....forgiveness DOES NOT mean you don’t suffer the consequences of your actions.

[@JoJo-ju7xw]

@@tonia.5861 A thousand percent agree!!

[@JenzJoe]

Yes Jojo... PREACH THAT! Preach! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@lilianflank5941]

it's ok not to forgive what they did to you - THANK YOU Dr. Ramani!!! I thought there was something wrong with me for not being able to forgive them. THANK YOU

[@countrybabe1111]

"Forgive to be Forgiven" doesnt mean YOU take the person back, it means YOU free yourself from being not forgiven in the END 😉

[@crankiemanx8423]

@@countrybabe1111 that in itself is a narcassistic response, because it blames the victim for reacting in his or her chosen way to what was done to him / her.& It implies doing something only for the scope of receiving something for your benefit only..ie .as a reward

[@glynemartin]

@@crankiemanx8423 ...or maybe we're (just a tad) over thinking and over diagnosing here? Maybe forgiveness is simply the art of dropping the inner deep seated resentment

[@donnasloan2455]

@@glynemartin Maybe you should test your theories on poisonous snakes & let us know how that goes.

[@glynemartin]

@@donnasloan2455 Let us know how not forgiving yourself goes...

[@christina91x]

I looove that she swears!!! Because honestly being in a relationship with a toxic person is really fucked up!

[@rochelledavenport4054]

Hear hear! There's simply no polite way of putting it ;)

[@Jillian60]

My narcissits abuse me and threaten me if I swear...yet guess who taught me those swears? Anyway, I like that Dr Ramani says it how it is...

[@latosharice4262]

Right dealing with one you feel the need to swear.... It's almost impossible not too

[@christina91x]

@@latosharice4262 and calling them a a.......... almost feels to nice! 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

[@momfromnj911]

That's all I did with my narc...either cried or cursed him out

[@CreativeCreaturefx]

What an intelligent, articulate woman Dr. Ramani is! I cannot get enough of listening her. She's got so much wit and so descriptive. She knows exactly what to say and how.

[@lynette599]

And the passion she speaks with really draws one in....

[@terrymaynard1816]

Echo

[@socialmails5421]

She's a narcissist, people will wake up to it eventually

[@meredithheath5272]

She is a National Treasure!!

[@robertsinnerman7804]

Love what she has to say about influencers, online life coaches etc: "It's that 'be positive' is a form of mental control. The guru can dictate that for others rather than being empathic, and literally meeting a person where they're at. Grief takes time. Trauma takes time to process. Hurt needs to be processed on the individual's time. Saying 'be happy' because I'm telling you to be happy is completely un-empathic, but yet here we are." My god, that rang true.

[@Hooray321]

Absolutely love this too! I feel so abandoned by humanity when I hear them say "be positive", it removes them from any responsibility to be compassionate with you, and they free themselves from any accountability of their actions in their role or relationship in your life. Really, it is as disturbing as thinking about seeing a child who has just had a scary fall in the playground, and responding to them by saying "be positive", it is a totally inappropriate response. Thank you for sharing your reflections, I really appreciate it.

[@robertsinnerman7804]

@@Hooray321 Thank for sharing your reflections too, I also really appreciate it!

[@tarable7778]

That’s my life motto, just don’t worry be happy. Although I’m miserable inside. It real,y is annoying my counselor…lol

[@tarable7778]

@@Hooray321 sometimes, like in my case, my life sucked my mom left us with an alcoholic father and we were the epitome of poor growing up. But my dad and the church (we are strong catholic) said to just ignore it and pretend to be happy all the time. My whole life I have put all the bad [there are Alot] into some boxes in my head. My biggest Fear, is I get Alzheimer’s and those boxes open!

[@robinantonio8870]

I had a counsellor who told me I was choosing to be unhappy after I lost my career ,.and everything, and tried to kill myself because I could not afford to live,because I made my narcissistic nursing colleagues report their drug errors and they set out to destroy me. I know more about narcissists than she did!!!

[@youprobablyalreadyknow8947]

Many other Doctors may be as smart as her, but rarely is anyone, really, so gifted at articulating themselves. There is zero dead air or “umms,” just packed with info. She’s confident but humble. I can’t say enough about her, she’s incredible.

[@dawnacoxon3111]

“Don’t make excuses for them...He had a tough start in life... those are 2 conversions... he had a tough start in life AND he is treating you like shit” amen!

[@Sarablueunicorn]

my aunts excusing my mother extremely abusive behavior. 😆 lol

[@Picca65]

Agreed!! They are responsible for working on their own trauma. It's not okay to put that garbage on your shoulders.

[@carolashlee8002]

I agree, I had a bad start too I didn’t repeat that

[@kirsten1007]

I concur. You know you are in a narc relationship when u make excuses for them

[@KingMinosxxvi]

Or SHE ........AMEN......Or does SHE have BPD..so it's okay

[@dianawelles1726]

You just brought me to tears. Thank you for what you do. I'm the old lady who's finally found out what's been wrong forever. I get to fix it. Oh my God that is so awesome. Thank you

[@javiervidal366]

Yes, sometimes it takes decades to figure out what's really going on. And when it finally makes sense, it's like your eyes have been opened for the very first time and can everything so clearly.

[@guidinglightorphansinc.5255]

@@javiervidal366 very true, it has taken me so long to figure this out unfortunately the damage is done to a point of panick attacks 😢 😞

[@itisfinishednowtimetoclean2723]

@@guidinglightorphansinc.5255 I too suffer the panic attacks. Please know, there is Hope for you. I was in counseling for years and learned coping skills. One major insight for me was that these happen often when I felt trapped. As my counseling progressed and I regained my revelation of my own power, and understood I was not trapped, I learned skills, EMDR, etc., there is Great Hope! Please know that. Sending you hope for healing…

[@Djfmdotcom]

Isn't that amazing? We GET to fix it. Once I realized that I felt such a sense of hope. I wish you well on your journey :)

[@louiseesterhuizen]

Hi @Drramani, I read your book “Should I stay or should I go” about 4 years ago and it truly changed my life and I became aware of narcissism. I didn’t realize that I attracted narcissists to me because I didn’t love myself. It wasn’t until I loved myself that I attracted a non-narcissist and we have been together now for almost 3 years 😍. Unfortunately narcissism destroy lives 😢

[@privateaccountfor1252]

People also get into these type relationships, with personality disordered type individuals, when they are vulnerable. Women often get into relationships with abusers during vulnerable times when other, healthy support systems, are not in place. Cheers!

[@mysticjen379]

Setting boundaries and not allowing everyone to have a piece of you is something I have found helpful in my own journey. Quickest way to detect a narcissistically inclined person in your life? Set a boundary 🙂

[@christina91x]

Well I got in one of those relationships because I just didn't know what was happening and as well the hardest part was to accept that I have fallen in love with a monster. I do love myself and for me the hardest part was to understand that I couldn't leave just as I wanted to and I started to hate myself because of it. A lot stay in those relationships because they always see the good in people and want to help.

[@privateaccountfor1252]

@@mysticjen379 true- life gets hard when one gets targeted by organized gang stalking. I've survived at least 25 years of horrific targeting, likely more. Many attempts on my life.

[@privateaccountfor1252]

@@christina91x I was very sick when I got into a relationship that ended up destroying much if my life when I was very sick, losing my career and colleagues secondarily, and had no family support. I always stood my ground against the abuse. But when an abuser and/or his family has powerful connections and sociopathic/psychopathic personalities the abuses can go on via proxies indefinitely, sad to say! Yet I hang in there and trust the Most High Creator!!! Blessings❤🙏

[@SJ-nu1ou]

When a teacher asks her students for advice, that is a clear example to show what a wonderful teacher she is. Kudos to your whole team for coming to the KZbin platform and educating/empowering us.

[@buckwheat_flower]

Dr Ramani is one of the most humble people I've seen on the internet 💗

[@utualan]

!!

[@undagroundsoulja]

You know she admitted she was a narcissist before lol

[@buckwheat_flower]

@@undagroundsoulja if you're so pressed about it why dont you attach evidence

[@808stateofmind2]

@@buckwheat_flower “so pressed”... dude if you just look at her situations and choices in life, she’s definitely a narcissist lol

[@buckwheat_flower]

@@808stateofmind2 No I dont waste my time judging a content creators life choices as suggested by some random internet person thank you

[@APF2024]

Dr Ramani, YOU saved my life , all my life I have been under a number of Narcissistic Tyranny , by MY Mum, MY Teen Love and MY wife, Last year after watching your videos, I realized what was going on, and now I am under treatment. Thank you, thank you, thank you, I watch every video you upload.

[@penelopehammerton2907]

Well done you for recognising you needed treatment and getting it. Wishing you all the best for your future x :)

[@SkinMaMi]

In the same boat!!! Thank goodness for people like her sharing free knowledge on KZbin!!!

[@philliphedges7657]

Dr. Ramani, I am currently working towards a B.S in psychology. I then want to pursue a medical doctorate in psychiatry. Then work towards a PsyD in clinical psychology. I was viewing your videos on MedCircle and was at first, garnering information that I needed to brush up on. However, I came across a video in which you described your patients who suffer from Narcissism. The pervasive idea that you proposed, albeit not as an original thought formulated by you, as a clinician alone, but a common “joke” among medical/ mental health care workers; That Narcissistic people Cannot be helped. And in your opinion, they are all “ASSHOLES”. Dr. Ramani you further went on to politicize a medical mental disorder that individuals SUFFER from to feed your own unhealthy ego or unregulated self-narcissism. As a clinician, a PhD, you should do well to remember why you are in this profession in the first place. Dr. Ramani you state over and over that you need to “know more about a patient” or you “need to know more about an individual’s long standing/repeating patterns.”, to diagnose. Yet, in one foul swoop you not only diagnosed a President whom you do not know nor treat but you then maligned a whole segment of the American population by intimating that Narcissism is what President Trump has, not suffers from; therefore, all the republican party are diagnosed with Narcissism. Dr. Ramani there are three issues at hand. First you gave your own uncensored opinion about patients and non-patients (the president of the United States) and by your own words on camera, those who are narcissistic are condemned by your own feelings towards those patients alone. You then go on to about politics. Not medicine. You then went on to call patients, who are indeed SUFFERING, Assholes. Dr. James Masterson M.D has a wealth of knowledge on the therapeutic alliance. He expounds on how, a clinician can withstand the brokenness of the patient in question (negative cross-transference or Counter-Transference), while at the same time protecting yourself from yourself (as the clinician). The problem may dwell in the patient, but it is the “problems dwelling within the Clinician” that in all actuality are the determining factors in that clinician’s ability to “treat”, “Help, HEAL. All “Patients” are suffering. It’s your lack of “Patients” and technical ability that fails those patients; The patients that you openly deemed untreatable. Yes, there is a broken infrastructure, there is a broken system. There are many variables that impede an individual to 1. Receive help 2. Find the right Help 3. And pay. However, to brand those who are suffering even that, “Narcissist”, who is in fact SUFFERING; Is an incredibly egregious failure on that “clinicians” part. The DSM is a check list, that you’ve seemed to have memorized. But by no means do you give any depth or brevity to what those diagnoses mean to layman by way of example. There is a regurgitation of common knowledge (so long as a person has the internet). Dr. Ramani I say all this with due respect. I also have to say a clinician’s political stand, or favorite color does not matter!! NOT in the clinical setting! As a doctor with a PhD, one would assume that you would be well versed in theory, statistics, and longitudinal research and then realize maybe that is where you should stay. In a Lab. All those that say they are helping, should take pause and wonder, am I helping? Healing? There are many whom are afflicted and just as many who don’t know that they too suffer in affliction. There are many who have degrees but don’t have truth. Dr. Eleanor Greenburg has a perspective that was taught especially to her through the Gestalt perspective. Maybe Dr. Ramani it would be worth looking into, not only for your patients but for your own soul. P.S I’m not trying to be rude. I am an avid lover of my fellow brothers and sisters in this world. Including you Dr. Ramani. Phillip H.

[@Lulu-pq5wq]

Kurt Vonnegut talked about “failed humans”. Meaning creatures that were born in human form, but failed to become real human beings. If you have no empathy, you failed to become human.

[@bebe8842]

A good one! 👌👌👌

[@DJBenito304]

👏🙌

[@ClarityDetermination]

Perhaps a person was born with empathy and something happened so they now haven't empathy and so become narcissistic.

[@bebe8842]

@@ClarityDetermination I also agree with this idea, that the environment and the way children were raised have both generally and particularly a very strong influence. People don't change usually, after a certain age, but they might be built in some specific way, no matter if it was done consciously or not.

[@Lulu-pq5wq]

@@ClarityDetermination Honestly, cluster Bs are usually created by parental cluster Bs. As far as anyone knows. I was raised by 2 cluster Bs and came out without it, but my brother didn’t. If you’re a parent, respect your child’s boundaries and use empathy.

[@JKB25]

As a doctor I can attest to the expectation that we as doctors are often expected to be emotional-less and now I know it is not possible unless you are a psychopath. Wow!

[@high5_mohini173]

Its a sigh of relief.

[@jeannieneuser5316]

Jasjot, so then... If you are a doctor and you have emotions... You are a treasure. Hope you can feel grateful for your gifts.

[@indervirsidhu8549]

Very well said.

[@brennadickinson3562]

It's a hangover of centuries of "materialist" so-called 'objectivity', which has vaunted Spock/Vulcan levels of cold mechanical logic, over every human consideration, and dehumanised and stunted us in the process.

[@Lyrielonwind]

My father was an eye-doctor and a great surgeon. Once, one of my sisters needed surgery and he was invited into the operation room; he blacked out. I guess he felt ashamed but I understand he couldn't see how another doctor will open up my sister's belly. I'm proud of him although he was not a man who liked to show his emotions since men who shows emotions are considered weak. That's something that bothers me as a woman. He wasn't weak, he just couldn't see his daughter's body like someone's else body.

[@heatherlomaxmusic4776]

This woman changed my life. Hoping all empaths watch this!

[@mb4782]

Yeah. They will watch a scholar with an expertise in narcissism. Who is a narcissist herself.

[@sheiladay9775]

If you know about narcissism, you know about mental health. Thank you, as always.

[@consciencecolmon1046]

Spoken like a true narcissist?

[@RebeccaSmith-tk4zy]

Long ago, it became apparent my ex was passive-aggressive, but this interview just made me realize that he was also a covert narcissist. Thank you for the retroactive chills running down my spine.

[@linros187]

Passive aggressiveness and covert narcissism go hand in hand, I too discovered the passive aggressiveness first and years later the covert narcissism

[@rachellydy3367]

My ex used to brag he was passive aggressive. It took me 2.5 years to recognize he was also a covert Narc. I had never heard of a covert narc.

[@jbuntine1255]

Borderline personality disorder / Narcissistic . Similar with the mood disorder . Trying to come to grips with this my ex was addicted to porn / etho / drugs trying to constantly fill the void . And 0 intamacy with erectile distinction ....Wow lm learning.

[@glendacollins2898]

Another tell is an overblown self interest to the detriment of anything or anyone else. No matter what the subject, it's always quickly back to them.

[@mthomas3547]

I got to a point where I wasn't angry anymore. I understood the dilemma. It truly is about winning for them and not about being honest. That was the key puzzle piece that I needed to understand it all. After I realized that, I could move away from it without feeling ill. Now, it's about working in my own life and not giving that anymore energy. That's why I'm not angry or resentful, but I will admit, it took a very long time to get to this place. I truly want that for everyone. Family isn't always easy and, I believe, no one ever said it was.

[@AZDC99]

7:15 I love how she destroys this "just be happy" mantra after one goes through something traumatic. I agree. You can't just "don't worry, be happy" all the time. Western society's "cure" is worse than the sickness sometimes. Totally covers what narcissism is in a nutshell.

[@Walkthepath92]

Absolutely. I never quite understood why that bothered me so much, but now I understand that it's the lack of empathy. Another one is " Don't focus on the problem, focus on the solution."

[@thisgame2]

It's ppl being selfish because most people refuse to empathize. They tell you to be positive and if you can't they scratch you out of there life because your now toxic. Meanwhile we just need support.

[@joyceandrews8094]

What a relief to know you are not a mean person because you can't forgive the narcissist. When that burden of "guilt" is put off, then it does allow a person to heal and move on. Once that happens, forgiveness is not even an issue. Thank you.

[@Theresa-Lottodo]

I can forgive, because it relieves the burden - but the person who hurt me just doesn't need to know I forgave them, because I went no contact.

[@christianpulisic7784]

Wand,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌷🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!

[@christianpulisic7784]

Wand,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌷🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!

[@christianpulisic7784]

Wand,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌹🌹🌷🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!

[@rayj.9568]

@Wand, Exactly! Telling the narcissist that you forgive him/her is not going to change that person.

[@indraSilentMoonImaginarium]

That's what I'm doing right now (no contact) Been 5 days. Keeping it up isn't easy but watching things like this helps

[@sparklerette]

Dr. R doesn’t know me, but she is on my short list of super hero women and is one of my very best friends. Thanks, Dr. Ramani, you’ve helped this old lady finally begin to understand and actually see happiness ahead!

[@bekkaadair854]

this woman is a much needed gift in a society riddled w narcissism. thank you for helping her spread the word!

[@lornai7171]

Ramani is the best. Lucid, concise, funny and likeable.

[@Erturkturan6]

Omg I’m in tears. Literally. She’s amazing. It’s hard not idolizing her. I look up to her tremendously, especially for shedding light on an issue that caused me to suffer for many years. Amazing. Strong. She’s a real life freakin superhero.

[@christinamadvig1468]

What she sais about gaslighting is 100 % what I've done and go through

[@lesleycharters5771]

Appreciate your information

[@georges.2157]

I just got out of a year and half relationship with a narcissist. It was so draining, I would have to over explain things all the time. Always felt like I was never good enough, always being told I was overly sensitive. I was mentally drained and I thought it was because maybe I wasn’t handling it correctly or maybe I wasn’t strong enough. The only people she would act that way around was me and her immediate family. I’m so happy I found this video and this doctor is nailing everything I’ve always been thinking. Thank you.

[@cjk7063]

So true. I love this woman. She's making such a big impact in people's lives. I love her so much. Thank you Dr Ramani. 🙏🏽💚💚

[@lindasharpe7039]

👏👏💜

[@madonnadefore3239]

I agree 💯💕💕She has been such an awesome blessing for me!💕💕

[@vibehigh5280]

Thanks correct! I love her too!

[@devonjoners5512]

She is a narcasist. You are the evil

[@bethflynn4278]

Yep she helped me to escape from my exnarc! 💚 Thank you Dr. R

[@teachersusanute199]

This woman is changing so many lives! She is wonderful

[@luiseduardomejicano]

Best video about narcissisms I've seen so far, loved the phrase: "knowing about narcissism is knowing about mental health". This should be though on school!

[@edithcasines9550]

Ll

[@gwendolynkaren5933]

So you made it through the first two minutes

[@illuminatedbestchoice1042]

The more I learn the stronger I am to move forward. Thank you Dr.

[@priyao5097]

Her fight for justice is so inspirational as a fellow south Asian woman! You go dr. Ramani!

[@nikkigargin2007]

Dr Ramani inspires me to further my knowledge. I’m a mental health nurse who I aiming to do medicine and be a psychiatrist. I can guarantee she knows a hell of a lot more than a lot of psychiatrists, so I am learning from her for my professional future ❤️

[@Yellow-Rose]

In that case you will be a damn fine mental health professional!

[@angelielohim6147]

Wow. I would love to be a psychiatrist too. Sadly I can’t as I don’t have help n I have a son that needs my care

[@velvetindigonight]

@@angelielohim6147 We can all work on being 'wise' in our everyday lives though? I find KZbin great for 'self directed' learning. Maybe in our next lives?! Enjoy

[@velvetindigonight]

@@Yellow-Rose Agreed were studying with the best! Enjoy

[@hindsightpov4218]

Wow. My comment got deleted. I was only trying to help by sharing my personal experience of my treatment from the mental health field. I didn’t mean any harm. 😕

[@Juniperus_Godegara]

This woman is the perfect example when intelligence meets goodwill and a kind heart. ❤️ Thank you for putting out this interview to the public 👏

[@karenmininni4962]

I so much love Dr. Ramani. She says in this video that "nobody is talking about the elephant in the room that is personality." She is amazing to then devote so much of her practice to exposing this spiritual entity we can rise above.

[@FredWoodard]

Dr. Ramani is a master communicator! I watch her videos daily. I’ve learned a lot!

[@timothygenaw2199]

She's got over half a million subscribers now. She's excellent.

[@cinnabun715]

She is! I appreciate Dr. Ramani's work.. She has a fantastic way of speaking and explaining. Brilliant woman

[@808stateofmind2]

this lady is narcissistic?

[@e.l.243]

@@808stateofmind2 What a strange question. Why?🤔🙃🤯

[@soilmanted]

Fiction writers often sell lots of books. Story tellers get lots of listeners. Dr Ramini does an excellent job of piquing people's interest. That does not mean she has useful knowledge about behavior or good skills at communicating such knowledge.

[@velvetindigonight]

@@soilmanted Oh really?

[@greatgoodnessgoddessgratit5611]

“Being in a cult is extractor like being in a relationship with a narcissist...”. As an individual who has left a major religious cult I never heard it said better! It was the gateway experience to bad/trauma based relationships. So glad I ran while I had a chance.

[@chakralove4300]

Yes, it so true!! Glad you got out!! It’s so funny because I just told my friend that I felt like I was in a cult after being married to a covert narcissist for 20 years. I was definitely brainwashed and I had to reprogram my subconscious mind daily! I still have emotional flashbacks but I am well aware where it comes from.

[@greatgoodnessgoddessgratit5611]

Yeah, I can actually breathe, now!! I still have moments too where I have flashbacks, too. I guess all those years of suppressing my true self are slowly coming up for healing. Good for you breaking free and for being able to talk about it. I personally have found speaking on my experience helpful with “healthy” people for a brighter perspective and showing myself grace for staying in way past the alarm bell. Stay strong.

[@egyptianhibiscus9203]

@@greatgoodnessgoddessgratit5611 I know what you're talking about, went through same. I added my story in a comment somewhere above. Stay strong.

[@greatgoodnessgoddessgratit5611]

@@egyptianhibiscus9203 it’s so good to be in a community of people healing and breaking free. It’s a consistent reminder of our ability to grow beyond our limitations ✨💚✨

[@harlequin852]

I have been following Dr Ramani a lot and it is great to see her letting her emotions out and use frank cursing language which is absolutely appropriate for those situation. Amazing speech again from Dr Ramani. I am a huge fan. >. Her work is fundamental to mental health

[@barbskeelcsw]

I work in this field and she is excellent at explaining and simplifying the subject of Narcissism. It's just not that complicated and she makes that very clear!!

[@jackpetersen7545]

Barbskee LCSW,You got a lovely smile 😊

[@stephanierusso4026]

She’s so brilliant

[@Nina-hk7ub]

Impressed she can write so much. She is very productive.

[@Yellow-Rose]

Ikr! Her mouth can barely keep up with her mind. She is very analytical and an intellectual.

[@new_and_improved1749]

Despite certain people having abused me for several decades I again and again feel empathy for them, but at the same time after several years of no contact I still feel lots of resentment, this conflict often really wears on me. So in essence I am intuitively doing it right, empathy for them for not being able to escape their prison, but love them from afar for my own protection. Klick, I've got it, there doesn't have to be a conflict, empathy for them and protecting myself are both warranted. Thank you, you beautiful soul, Dr. Ramani.

[@ahtauwylye1340]

So good. Such a safe place but not ignoring whats going or went on. Inspiring thankyou

[@Picca65]

"If you understand narcissism, you understand mental health." Where can I get my certificate? 😁

[@hollycat6152]

hahahahahaha. right? lol

[@marianlyons5130]

Seriously, I have learned so much here!

[@harleyquinn5774]

You can buy the t-shirt on Amazon: World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Level Survivor T-Shirt www.amazon.com/dp/B0922X99SS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_B5A74D9QG1PHEBR44S0S

[@JasminHLo]

Funny....even her cat knows that Trump is a narcissist. That's a perceptive cat!!

[@marianlyons5130]

@@JasminHLo Trump is the reason that our country will not be taken over by communists. Maybe he is a narcissist but it takes a strong person to take the crap he has taken. He will not sell out to deep state.

[@Michael_RareZebra]

💯% agree with the 7:00 section. Sooo many narcissists hide behind the "positive mindset" mantra.

[@adramelke1722]

"stop crying or i'll give you a reason to cry"... something i heard alot as a kid. i guess he didn't realize i already had a reason... and i would have needed divine intervention if i corrected him and said "you mean another reason?"

[@merriferrell2818]

I heard the same thing

[@janicesmith1956]

I heard that too. Or if I couldn't find something I had threats for finding it.

[@TheKirschbaumfee]

my mother always said "cling together, swing together" whenever she randomly punished me for just existing, not being involved with the mischief my siblings did. in my late 20s i realized for the first time thats not how other people interprete this saying.

[@linedion6398]

I think there I a whole generation of children born early 60's or before that were not wanted, mother's where too young and not vmuch education that suffered neglect and gaslighting..my mom used to say that too..I'll give you a real reason to cry..Both my parents had only grade 6 schooling and married early 20! I think now we see less of that because couple can no choose the right time to have his and are more educated..

[@psalmantha13]

Same here. I grew up being abused physically in a country where it is socially acceptable or masked as parents who "discipline" their kids. But when you're being beaten up as a kid every single day and they tell you to "stop crying or I will beat you harder!" then you know it's not just discipline. I mean, you hit a kid with a belt and expect them not to cry out in pain? Sadistic assholes! 🤡

[@NB-ig8zi]

Great interview. Dr Ramani is a godsend. It's interesting to hear that narcissim is not clinically diagnosed when there is no 'cause' to, ie- no harm being done -to the narc. It Should be diagnosed, becasue it does affect others. The criteria for diagnosis should not just be if it affects the narc, but if it affects others too. I read somehwere that narcissism is the only illness that does not affect the ill person and affects everyone around them. Like being a virus carrier and spreader.

[@jbilotta]

I absolutely and implicitly agree with Dr. Ramani‘s philosophy on forgiveness. Dr. Ramani is so skilled at what she does, much respect.

[@velvetindigonight]

Dr Ramani and her sharings on 'forgiveness' were a 'gift', so valuable and just what I needed to hear! Enjoy

[@shirleymccowan7402]

@@velvetindigonight I can forgive. But sometimes you are still dealing with the fallout from a spouse who was narcissistic toward your children. If they were also emotionally abused by the narcissist in the family. And the narcissist continues to attack in public situations where he/she has family who respect him/her because of financial success or career success. Some of these narcissist are very influential in their "public" personalities, but evil in secret.

[@LoveFaithLive]

@@shirleymccowan7402 Yes! We finally learn to stand our ground anyway because it's the right thing to do but it took me ages to realise all this believing I'd lose but so what if I "lose" in the eyes of those taking the narcissist side. Hope that made sense...

[@joroberson4084]

If you are worried about being a narcissist then you probably aren't one.

[@ahalpert]

I dunno about that. Asking if u r a narcissist is different than worrying about it too.

[@joroberson4084]

@@ahalpert maybe, they don’t like criticism, even self criticism.

[@ahalpert]

@@joroberson4084 But they r focused on themselves. It is interesting to them to hear about what they might be. They wanna know why they react to things the way they do. They want to feel distinguished from the general population. And even if they don't feel sorry, they may sometimes feel shame. It was a straightforward question she asked him. Do u feel irritated or disgusted when people show difficult emotions? First he said he didn't understand the question. Then he brought up some stuff about dealing with emotions to increase work productivity. Finally when she pressed him, he said maybe in the past. The more normal emotional response, which shouldn't be hard, is to say yes I feel compassion when someone expresses emotional vulnerability. That's how u have normal interpersonal relationships. It is strange to feel irritation at vulnerable emotions.

[@jessicaf6358]

@@ahalpert With all due respect, do you honestly believe that with literally billions of people in the world, and billions who have gone through and keep being born that truly NO narcissist EVER would question themselves and ask if they are or not? She even interviews a narcissist on Red Table Talk who wanted her help. My ex was DEFINITELY a narcissist and he likes to suppose that he's not one because he's questioned it (what grandiose thinking is that, by the way? "Merely because I'm questioning I can't possibly be one!" Same as being an alcoholic -- "because I'm questioning if I am one, I must not be one!" How silly does that sound?). He IS one, and he's willing to fool himself into not being one by using 1 question to diagnose himself. I also think, though, that this can be turned around -- even if through hypnosis. It's only a deep insecurity, and that can be turned around.

[@violetflower2770]

Here is what I noticed, if you are worried to the point where it makes you extremely angry and you start projecting into people by calling them narcissists or manipulative all the time, then you probably are a narcissist.

[@HeatherDMorris]

Narcisist do the most damage to people bc people are unaware they exist ! They are rampant today! I'm glad she stepped out into studying this !

[@veronikataf5206]

The thing I enjoy about being single after a relationship with a narcissist is having total control over the remote control, and my finances.

[@nikij3754]

“People who are charming and charismatic terrify me!” Hahaha bruhhhh she speaks to my soul. Sameeee. Date is too charming? UmmmByeeeee

[@sassysally2995]

But just because someone is charming doesn't mean they have NPD 🤔

[@nikij3754]

Haha. Its a certain type of charm- hard to explain

[@paulbillingham6769]

So you don't find Dr Ramani 'charming and charismatic? She talks fast enough.

[@1960ARC]

All world leaders have self interest at heart. It's the absence of a true belief in God that can cause people to lack empathy. World leaders that want to control the human race with a Vax passport care not at all about humane life.

[@blueblaze9862]

But she herself is charming n charismatic

[@teachersusanute199]

This „you can only heal when you forgive the abuser“ BS is victim blaming all over again. Thanks dr Ramani for calling it out.

[@anndillard8681]

you forgive for yourself not the abuser..

[@Nacole_Lashoun]

OMG. What he said at 6:00 is so profound! Many leaders and authorities are the worst narcissists! I realized this too. Its so eye-opening to come to this realization. The most "influential" people are often the most insecure and mentally unstable.

[@jerink85]

Oh my gosh... I can't believe what you said about forgiveness. I know I should be self-aware enough to set myself free but I've always prided myself on being so forgiving. I often times wonder what the difference between forgetting and forgiving is when people say you should forgive but you don't have to forget. It just seems so intertwined to me. So I forgive and forget to a fault. Meaning I never hold anybody accountable... No one's ever granted me the space to be upset over the torture and abuse I've endured in the 36 years of my life and I thank you for your perspective. Thank you! 🙏

[@lill1557]

2 minutes in and I already love this. Go Dr. Ramani!

[@marthawatkins7184]

Love Dr. Ramani! Such a treasure for those dealing with narcissists.

[@jamesarmstrong4179]

Martha Watkins,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narcissist....

[@glynemartin]

@@jamesarmstrong4179 Looks like you have narcissistic tendencies/designs....since you're into the superficiality of appearance... Just engaging in non professional diagnosis like you seem to be. *:-)*

[@mariadefreitas1257]

I needed to hear this, specially about forgiveness, I don’t want to ever forgive what was done to me, but am working on letting go...

[@d.froggiez369]

@@christianpulisic7784 🚩🚩 BIG red flag making comments like this ALL down this thread. You looking for supply?

[@2Ryled]

You dont have to forgive ever. What is good is to decide to out it down. Not let it rule your life. Not let it take over your brain. I thought this is taking up my daily life. That person doesn't even think about me. They are going on like things are great, and I'm suffering. So I decided I'm not letting that person take up space in my head. Living well is the best revenge.

[@JustT725]

I believe we live in a society of narcissism, and as long as you're talented, it's excused. Remember the television show House. That was one of my favorite shows. That character was clearly a narcissist, but since he could save lives, he was a hero on the show. Makes you wonder what kind if society we live in.

[@gtaylor6937]

THANK YOU, Dr. Ramani - finally I've heard a mental health professional tell the truth about forgiveness. Religion sells it, new age thinkers sell it, counselors of all types sell it, yet it is so misunderstood. We need to let go, when we're emotionally able to do it, of what has hurt us, NOT necessarily forgive the ones who hurt us. They are two completely separate things!! I believe many people have been emotionally and psychologically harmed by the pressure to "forgive" an abuser when it is absolutely inappropriate to do so in many cases. Bless your heart for giving voice to this!

[@fleetskipper1810]

There’s no possibility of forgiveness if the person responsible for the injury does not show remorse or contrition. That rules out forgiving a narcissist. Your forgiveness is better spent on forgiving yourself for being duped by the narcissist. Forgiving yourself is lots harder. But it’s the only way to heal.

[@Lover-of_TRuth]

🏆 YES! you are absolutely correct!!! 💯 thank you so much! ❤️

[@AngeliqueTraveler]

Absolutely. And it stems from the twisting and recontextualizing of Christ’s comments on forgiveness by misogynistic, sexually deviant males.

[@katherlenepatterson5243]

Forgiveness is the right thing to do. God forgives us when we forgive others. Jesus The Messiah ask God to forgive those that crucified Him. Sometimes we know the destruction we cause in life and sometimes we don't. Forgive others Forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes. Walk in this life as if you understand the lessons it teaches. Praise God The Father The Son and The Holy Spirit 🙏🙌💖

[@nirmalasuresh7211]

DC dr

[@des2507]

I can’t get enough of what you say Dr. Ramani. Can’t thank you enough

[@JordyHaynes13]

this woman is AMAZING!!! I have turned around my life cutting off engagement and grey-rocking the narcissistic people in my life... I also took note on anything I feel like I may be doing that is toxic in response to the codependent narcissistic relationships i have been in and omg my friendships and all relationships have gotten so much better.

[@lorispino8231]

Dr Ramani rocks! She totally understands narcissistic behavior. She explains it so well. Let's the victims know that it's not their fault. Narcissistic people are good at what they do. But now when I see one red flag or my intuition is telling me to walk away then I walk!