John Gray-A Man Needs To Feel Like You Need & Trust Him-Understand Men-(Secrets About Men)

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & *FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) Here: whatrealmenwant.com/

[@kristinej.4182]

Dr John Gray is remarkable. He has pretty much explained the failures in my past relationships. I chose men whom I tried to please to get the love I needed. I grew up in a dysfunctional home seeing my mother walk on egg shells around my father who was emotionally and physically abusive. Now I’m finally with a man who wants to please me. Dr Gray is teaching me so much of what I did not know.

[@jasminealexia]

I didn’t know this either so refreshing to know ❤

[@italishgirl5601]

Two minutes in and you just made sense of my teens and twenties!!!!!! I never understood why I settled for less for so long..... I thank God for the blessing of meeting and falling in love with my husband of 26 years. We knew we would marry and have a family by our second date! To any single woman who is watching this.... don’t settle for anything less! 🙏

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks so much for watching and for your comments too Amy!

[@CoolKidOx]

be with a man you're not attracted to sexually ask him to do small things, and appreciate him - that's training (positive reforcement) no attention on negative behaviour how to: you're right, what a good idea, that's so helpful appreciation

[@briana14333]

It really is this simple. We women complicate things by trying to make men become more like us; they give and receive differently and that is just what it is. Great chat! Thank you❤︎

[@mimisabundantlife]

I'm blessed. My boyfriend of 4 years is naturally trained

[@angelicsparkles]

No attention for negative behavior. Give a positive behaviour to reward. Positive reinforcement you're right, what a good idea, that makes sense, brilliant, oh that's so helpful, I didn't know that thank you i.e. Acknowledgement and appreciation. -happy to see him, ask him to do it and give appreciation as if he did it the first time. -punish, disapproval, criticism, no six, withholding good feelings don't work with men. Control pushes man away.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

I can tell you listened closely! thanks for watching and for your comments too!

[@ngeee10]

This man is gold!

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Yes! He is! Thanks for watching and for your comments too!

[@jackeelove3144]

@@MichelleMarchantJohnson ❤

[@elizabethhegedus2560]

@@jackeelove3144 ⁰

[@nsican2485]

Exceptional

[@casperinsight3524]

Healthy love is mutual reciprocity ....giving and receiving Ask and reward with dog training ...positive reinforcement Ignore bad behaviour....turn around or walk away, no attention Reward good behaviour with positive acknowledgement ... Youre right, what a good idea, brilliant, I never knew that, thank you, that makes sense is verbal appreciation with positive expression and tone of voice. She's happy to see you motivates or inspires a man, disapproval or punishment repels men. Accept him as is and trust he's doing his best, love & appreciate.

[@pamelakelley3098]

It's really true saying Thank you to them for even the smallest things just even listening to u as u have stated makes them feel valued and needed. Give them a hug! I always tell my man he is my champion. He loves that! Never take them for granted. Always say I would love it if u would works! They repeat the behavior without even having to ask because it's rewarding to them. They remember the praise.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comments too Pamela! Well done!

[@faridahnakayemba1496]

Nothing is heartbreakingike being with someone who doesn't provide

[@lolabrini3758]

it's on YOU🤣why are u with someone who doesnt provide???? ur letting this happen to you🥳u get no sympathy from us

[@eileenwatt8283]

@@lolabrini3758 stop judging her. Some men seems to have potential and women dates them on hope but it never materialized.

[@lolabrini3758]

Eileen Watt OMYGOD that's the DUMBEST thing to do. Once u raise him up successful he will DITCH u

[@lolabrini3758]

Eileen Watt dont try to "change" or "upgrade" men. That devalues their masculinity. U marry a man that provides period.

[@librascorner2271]

Facts!!

[@josephinewliu]

3:42 Women have to be in a situation when someone is providing for her, then she has oestrogen level goes up and she falls in love and a healthy kind of love. unhealthy love is i will do anything to get him. He listens to me, he cares about me, he is kind and gentle. he does this and that for me... you must learn to train him. Training, you ask what you want and when you get it you give him a big rewards. that is how you train a dog. do not punish your dog if he jumps on you, turn away and ignore them so they get no attention on negative behaviour

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

We're so glad you enjoyed the video. Thanks for watching!

[@joyce7892]

6:25 Language that initiates willingness to hear and respond: You're right, that makes sense, what a good idea, brilliant, that's so helpful, and repeat... and I didn't know that, thank you.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching and for your comments too!

[@sara-hv1fw]

wow this was such a good conversation way more people need to see this

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comments too Sara!

[@YesNo-dm4dx]

John Gray is amazing

[@ranarayya1724]

You taught me a lot, and I still need to know more about relationships, cause my parents divorced and i was really attracted by wrong men all time.

[@Steff579]

This video has helped me soo much!!! Thank you!!!! Met the man of my dreams and talk to him like this and i truly am grateful and so lucky and happy to have him in my life. He pleases me and makes me so happy and i care for him too and we meet all of our needs together. Wish me luck ♥️ all your videos have truly been the only videos on relationships that have truly helped me to communicate better.

[@againstallodds404]

I just found thos channel and I am hooked!!! Thank you so much for all of the information you give. 😁

[@marthaking81]

I was a doormat for many years John what you are teaching is how my parents were and that was do unto others as you would like to be done to, even if he didn't show love or respect for me, he really didn't want me he didn't care about love but enjoyed my caring and loving ways to him . He got so abusive I had to leave after 40+years of marriage my heart aches for women who truly care and and a man doesn't so it doesn't always work no matter how hard we try. God bless you he cares and knows our pain ladies DO YOUR BEST AND GOD WILL DO THE REST HE IS OUR DELIVER

[@juliareed9823]

I’m SO grateful for these videos. Thank you!

[@janetlattimore7850]

💐🌷💐 The Golden nugget in this video starts at 9:07 for me. I kept playing it over & over. That information is life changing for helping me to understand my Man and Men in general. Powerful...Dr. Gray. 🌷💐🌷

[@juliettailor1616]

"Women are teachable but not by their spouse, men are not teachable but they are trainable by their spouse." If you yell at a dog he won't learn. Ignore them. No attention. If they behave, positive reinforcement will be productive. "You're right, that is so helpful. That's makes sense. " Gratitude. Smile when you see them. Don't criticize! Don't do it yourself! Don't withhold positive feelings. Don't control! Ask them to do it. - John Gray

[@kristinej.4182]

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 💯 💯💯💯

[@cleopatrajones7096]

This is the truth. This is compassionate love. Thank you for sharing!

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comment too Cleopatra!

[@violetlight8138]

What a gem that was. Thank you 🙏

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thank you so much for watching and for your comments too!

[@xw6475]

This is SO SO true. You are right John, my parents divorced when i was 12 years old, they were both emotionally unavailable. Growing up i always saw they are arguing and fighting, they clearly do not know how to communication with each other in a proper and healthy way. Thank you so much for posting this video, i really appreciate that

[@shellshelly5552]

Great team, love John Gray. Michelle, great questions. Thank you

[@ranarayya1724]

Unhealthy love is no more available in my life. 2022 is the year that I will attract the best person

[@lisabotwinick7810]

Everyone needs positive reinforcement!

[@josephinewliu]

6:30 say " that is so helpful, i did not know that, thank you" that is called appreciation and acknowledgement. it will not be real unless you need a man. Vulnerability is feel your needs and be aware of your needs and allow the man to provide for them. bellow do not work with men : Punishment Disapproval, Criticism , withholding sex, withholding positive feelings. any control pushes men away. men have sensitivities around their behaviours. You appreciate and trusting. Your job is communicate successfully what you want more of at the right time and right way, and have plenty rewards for him because that rewards is your appreciation. Anytime you do not trust a man you are punching him in his stomach

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks so much for watching and for your comments too Josephine!

[@babajaiy8246]

"Anytime you do not trust a man you are punching him in his stomach" Right you are. When a women expresses trust towards me - I go to the Moon; I want to do so much more for her.

[@desireemariec1108]

This is brilliant, very helpful. Thank you!

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching Desiree!

[@dianaallison6110]

Really enjoyed this one..& Dr. Gray has taught us a great lesson here. Thx dearly 🙂🙂💕💕

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Glad you enjoyed it, Diana.

[@lisaash759]

I think this is great so helpful when entering a relationship 😊 and insightful

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Glad you think so! Thanks so much for watching and for your comments too!

[@ImranKhan-tj3dr]

Hi 💑💑😍😍❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

[@tianiemitchell5692]

That is so sad when women and men do those things instead of just sitting down saying look I love you if you need something just please let me know I'll be more than happy to help you

[@faridahnakayemba1496]

If my man tells that am more happy

[@newyorkdiva3]

I needed this today thank you.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

So glad! Thanks for watching and for your comments too Donna!

[@richardlowry9663]

This works, if BOTH wish to please the other, both HOLDING attitude to please other, this requires communication, trust and respect and to say or to hear negative stuff; see as other loves you to not want you to mess up to tell it, or hear it in a nice way.

[@cynthiacrawford1573]

True

[@user-gu6vf3je1d]

Excellent video. Bravo 👏🏾

[@cynthiacrawford1573]

I do agree a man needs these things

[@PowerOfAIandMotivation]

This is really helpful 👍🏻 Thank you for these interviews🙏🏻

[@AllasMusicChannel]

I am not sure if I agree with advice of equal appreciation of both good and bad behaviour. If a man fulfils his promise on time - of course you will be naturally appreciative and be happy to see him; but if he lets you down and basically doesn’t value his word, you, and your feelings by arriving late and not delivering when you were waiting from him based on his promise, to look as if nothing happened, jumping around him all happy and appreciative feels like reinforcing his lack of value and appreciation of you. Why would he have to try to be on time next time, if you as a doormat will accept and be happy not depending on whether he was late or not? There would be no incentive to value and respect you. I am not telling that a man should be nagged/scolded/etc. But there must be some other high value way to communicate that you were upset that he didn’t deliver on his promise (or did it with delay) and that it would be nice if next time he would be more considerate of you. After all, you are relying on that person and your feelings are involved in the situation too.

[@katt6894]

AllasMusicChannel I kind of thought that too. Where is the incentive to be on time if he can be late and still receive the same reaction? I would take it as my partner really isn’t that upset with me when I’m late, so if I am from time to time, no big deal.

[@nadijones660]

I absolutely agree! I know someone who was constantly late, and seemed like it was no big deal. He didnt improve until a boundary was set, and then appreciated for being on time after that. So why approve of bad behaviour, is my question.

[@leahhonore3505]

It's called taking the high road, he expect to be met with disapproval but doing the opposite brings out the best in him and the atmosphere remains positive. I'd say just reward more n show more appreciation n praise when he does it all on time the next time. Taking the high road isn't easy at all.

[@nadijones660]

@@leahhonore3505 no, it is not easy. I got a knot in my stomach just thinking about it 😂

[@mickmash-5192]

Leah Honoré - No, it’s called the continual burden of emotional labour women have to carry, in comparison to men. It’s pathetic that we have to walk on egg shells and deny our feelings, all to ensure men don’t berate us for ‘nagging ‘. Ladies, get some self respect. Treat a man how you would want to be treated and affirm your values and boundaries. If you’re not happy, leave. Simple. Women bend over backwards for men and men often can’t even be bothered offering 1/10th the courtesy in return. Not unless sex is on the table. How disgusting, the idea of deliberately bribing a man with sex. You strip away all intimacy when you make it transactional. But it’s somehow all ok and explained away by ‘biology’. So sick of hearing this excuse and men certainly don’t get a pass for their immaturity because of ‘biology’, not especially when they’re deliberately choosing to stay in arrested development. It’s also called Peter Pan syndrome, where a guy just doesn’t want to grow up and wants his mommy/wife to run after him and wipe his bum! Are we forever to be used by men as an emotional crutch, to guide them on their way into maturity? What’s so attractive about such neediness. Stop chasing after these lazy men.

[@0judi0bartel74]

Magnificent

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks so much for watching and for your comment too!

[@Iris-rm1wy]

Thank you so much for this video and the messages

[@stephaniehand503]

thank you

[@shynes23sh]

Thank you for this.

[@busingyedouglas6278]

So on point. Thanks

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

You are so welcome. Thanks for watching and for your comments too!

[@jasminealexia]

We need more info on how to heal the father wound. My father is an attractive man and I keep finding myself wanting validation from an attractive man. It’s really hard to give someone a chance if I’m not physically attracted to them

[@QueenJuliana89]

I needed this ❤️

[@moonmissy]

This guy’s advice is good for those in healthy committed relationships. Not for the dating phase! It also doesn’t work for men who refuse to grow up.

[@cindy7733]

I know this comment has nothing to do with the video but I love that Mother Mary is right behind you! It's comforting.

[@joannemcarthur7528]

Thankyou for your great advice. I try to appreciate and tell my partner when I appreciate him🙂💚🙏 Do I appreciate him when he doesn't communicate and share his feelings. It is a constant learning when being in a relationship however...

[@KVG822]

This makes so much sense!

[@ImranKhan-tj3dr]

Hi 😍😍❤🌷🌷🌷

[@brn2sor]

Men, always choose courage. Do not fall prey to the enemies #1 tactic : fear

[@morthim]

"men can't teach or train a woman on how to love" i wish someone had told me this 20 years ago.

[@brendajones8073]

awesome info

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Glad it was helpful! Thanks for watching Brenda!

[@brendajones8073]

@@MichelleMarchantJohnson you’re welcome

[@ladyowl9187]

Omg....this hit home 🥴

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comments too!

[@lisagrieb8836]

Help- my husband is not loyal in my eyes. Not unfaithful, just doesn’t ever seem to have my back in a variety of situations. It has driven me to being resentful. I can’t figure out to fix this problem no matter how many times we’ve discussed it.

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

That sounds painful Lisa! I hope you can work things out. Thanks for watching.

[@ImranKhan-tj3dr]

I m alone I like u MERRY me I m intrested Really 💑💑💑💑😍😍😍😍😍❤❤❤❤❤❤🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

[@Mitta0787]

What if the man expects things to be done by the woman, expecting her to be independent and not depend on him?

[@deletedsap-med]

It means he is on his feminine side more

[@vickykinyunyuzi4448]

But if he doesnt communicate or provide or does anything just says sorry but stil doesnt change what do you do

[@switchpathbyamypreston5428]

We need to be realistic with the punishment issue. Late from work might be a viable reason, flat tire, traffic... but negligence or carelessness does not deserve positive reinforcement. Forgiveness, yes, but not positive reinforcement.

[@KristnaSaikiaBillFortuneEagle]

Man are trainable bcoz training a dog ,pup and men are same in a relationship .. Haha 😂 I learnt from a dog trainer .haha i am learning from a dog trainer to make my relationship get better bcoz two guys I like ,both are dog lovers. I could not stop laughing. I think so similar 😅😅😆

[@user-gd5tq7df8h]

Hi Michelle great to have John very important vids, thank you. About the thumbnail I must say I'm confused by it - blue font is NHS UK

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching. Not sure what you are saying about the thumbnails since I am US based.

[@user-gd5tq7df8h]

@@MichelleMarchantJohnson I'm watching from the UK and when your vids pop on my feed my immediate response is "oh something about covid? ". That's all.

[@tianiemitchell5692]

Thank u

[@reginawoess4928]

This is great

[@msprettykawaii950]

Men should provide period. We gather men hunts. They are not created bigger and stronger for no reason

[@pyt8344]

Try telling them that today. They want 50/50, theyre invading our spaces from the nail salon to Miss america. They're calling themselves "pills", beating and verbally abusing women. Its a MESS. I agree however with your statement 100%

[@soficharmed]

Magical

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching and for your comment!

[@mercymallari3871]

Vice versa we need to make them feel nd my man that mkes ms feel that ge needs me too nd i believe it seriously

[@jinna0512]

I have an enormous crush on you, Doctor Gray!

[@emelyrodriguez8084]

I respect your opinion, but I also think its normal to just communicate what we're upset about and it's annoying how we have to be so careful with men simply because they have a fragile ego. By not communicating what upsets you, I think you open a door for them to continue disrespecting you.

[@0judi0bartel74]

My Dad was a guy like that.

[@tatmcpherson4523]

What should a woman do who has her ex pursuing her even though he has another woman, he does things for her all the time, and says they are going to get back together and live happy

[@purplelillyx9895]

Well I'm at 2:15 and I can honestly say that Im doomed. I don't want to have sex with someone that I'm repulsed by AND the ones I have sexual chemistry with, are all the wrong men. I'm 35 and I'm just going to forget relationships. If I can't have one that I can rely on and that I fancy, then I may as well give up

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

He's not saying to go for men you are repulsed by, he's just saying not to let chemistry be such a strong factor that it takes over to the point that you are missing red flags and getting involved for the wrong reasons.

[@preityb200]

Actually there shud be whole other discussion on this....... It's difficult for some women to understand this..... Whn they feel too attracted to a guy..... They just give themselves too easily ..both physically and emotionally...... They run after guys , do anything for them....... But the problem is men love chasing ..... Not too much...... But there shud be a lil bit of healthy chasing from guy side.... It keeps the spark and it's fun too..............

[@babajaiy8246]

@@preityb200 Actually, that is not true. Not all men love chasing. As a man myself - I don't like to chase. To me it feels unnatural and childish. If people are simply open and honest then the Tango flows naturally and effortlessly.

[@recuerdos2457]

I believe it s definitely not Everyman s thing!!! Maybe it depends on how selective the men are?!?! Especially for those who are also thinking of the future mothers of their children …

[@gabriellamaria2787]

How do you get your husband to try harder when you've been married longer and he hasn't tried the hardest from the beginning? (We were young and neither of us had great demands.)

[@casperinsight3524]

1. Happy to see me ...oh great you're home big smile 2. Would you go to the store now 3. Reward with appreciation Love & acceptance, a chance to succeed, give them rewards for self correcting, overlooking his mistakes, show appreciation, ask for what you need and trust he'll come through, Criticism, witholding, punishment, manipulation or any ctrl pushes a man away

[@hunny585]

Is he saying if a man is doing negative behaviour, we still need to use positive re-inforcement? How

[@anastasiaz7784]

No rewards no attention to when he does something bad but when he does good you reward him

[@pascalledouven7022]

Can your for example ask him to tekst you or you just wait , i dont wanna lead there ... what’s wisdom in teksting and calling

[@cocobean7519]

But John you’re always telling us ladies to be our authentic selves..... so if we’re mad at a man for not doing what he was asked to do & came home late for the party etc etc.... are we supposed to suppress our annoyance & be all cheery & happy when he comes home late & doesn’t do what was asked of him originally?? Help I’m confused!

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Here's my interpretation. John is saying him the benefit of the doubt and give him a chance to redeem himself. Assume the best in him and invite him to step up even though he's not doing it perfectly because this will inspire him.

[@cindy-bw6jw]

I guess he could have had a busy day at work and then got stuck in traffic! I doubt if he just was late with no good reason! Right! Anyway, my grandma always said, "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar"!!!

[@BeckyJB]

10:54 same goes for men… ❤ love the advice as always.

[@marciebaker7104]

What do you do when a man gets upset that your asking something from him??? I need his help and he figures it's my problem not his???

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching Marcie. Sometimes the way you ask makes a difference, yet there could be other challenges in the relationship if this is how he is responding. Good luck to you!

[@fatima-zahrakajji4821]

Watch sheraseven1! In her videos you will the answers you seek! Good luck gorgeous

[@DD_MENEN]

Yes watch SheraSeven1 and also if he cant help you financially or in any other way he belongs in your past.

[@RMB5775]

Well... he should have done his part of the responsibility... she did hers. That’s rewarding “bad behavior”... etc etc... I’m southern and I’m not having a party without drinks because he can’t get his ass home! Nope!

[@SegaSavageMusic]

🍇

[@eileenwatt8283]

Why does rich couples get divorced when the men are good providers. Is it because the wife is unappreciated?

[@doustana]

Beautiful interview but his hands hitting the table is unfortunately disturbing

[@eveliina1438]

Why was he late in the first place, tho?

[@spiritualaries4500]

My mother always talked bad about my father n my father never was close to me.

[@jackeelove3144]

❤

[@babajaiy8246]

"If a man is with a woman who doesn't know how to love, it's kind of hopeless for him to change her" Really? men cannot do things to touch her heart and help her. It's not that I am disagreeing, it just seems strange. Perhaps he is saying that within a certain context?

[@barbaranavarro197]

So, Its impossible to be with a man just because we are a team? I dont really need men to give me anything I just want a partner and I am not agree with man as a solution of my problems. I have a job, I am a succesful woman, the only thing left is having a partner to share our succes. I don't think man want to be "used" for woman to get what they want. I dont depend of him, i have my live and he has his, that is for me healthy. Thats strange because this post could be true but if it is, I don't understand men at all.

[@jackdeniston9326]

So you dont need a man. Thats OK

[@barbaranavarro197]

@@jackdeniston9326 Nobody needs a man or a woman. When men and women are together is because they love each other, not because they NEED each other. Love is not need, is actually veeeery different. Nowadays i think this is a huge problem, because most of people they don't love anymore, they feel alone and then they decide someone has to help him/her in his/her miserable life. That's pretty unfair!

[@notthecontentiouswoman-wom2595]

So, you can't think of one way a man could enhance your life? Not even taking out the trash, taking the car to the mechanic or lifting an heavy object? Could he drive you somewhere, assemble something or organize your garage? Men just need to feel like they are making a contribution by an action.

[@notthecontentiouswoman-wom2595]

So, you can't think of one way a man could enhance your life? Not even taking out the trash, taking the car to the mechanic or lifting an heavy object? Could he drive you somewhere, assemble something or organize your garage? Men just need to feel like they are making a contribution by an action.

[@amnbvcxz8650]

Find a man who loves you, provides for you, so on… that advice only works for desirable women. The other kind won’t get noticed if they’re not proactive.

[@RMB5775]

It sounds like John was late or forgot ALOT! 😂🤣😂

[@saracroft2589]

😯

[@MichelleMarchantJohnson]

Thanks for watching Sarah!