John Oliver: “That Was a Huge F**king Mistake” - Stand-Up Compilation

Get to know John Oliver in six jokes about Googling himself, moving to the United States, T-shirt cannons and more.
Paramount+ is here! Stream all your favorite shows now on Paramount+. Try it FREE at bit.ly/3qyOeOf
#StandUp #JohnOliver
Subscribe to Comedy Central Stand-Up: / @standup
Watch more Comedy Central Stand-Up: / standup
Follow Comedy Central Stand-Up:
Twitter: / standup
Facebook: / standup
Instagram: / ccstandup
Watch full Comedy Central stand-up specials: www.cc.com/top...
Comedy Central Stand-Up: Anti-Bias Statement: www.cc.com/inf...

[@nooneimportant1985]

"America has nothing to fear but America itself." the most factual statement in history

[@titanuranus3095]

It is true of most nations

[@theosname]

Good thing nobody but America has nuclear weapons or that statement might not be true.

[@humanpersonne]

Ran straight to google. Now the first result says "John Oliver is the best". And I second that.

[@angeladawn805]

Yep, no sign of smurfs

[@ferzmat2313]

Well for me it’s currently « John Oliver Israel » and variations on that so xD

[@typacsk]

@@angeladawn805 Damn. Everyone go put "John Oliver is a Smurf" into the Google search bar

[@animeowza]

I got "John Oliver is a smurf"...

[@markosolo]

Ran? Where is it, in your back yard?

[@kevingibson2519]

I wonder if he ever thought that years later he and his staff would be winning all the damn Emmy's, and that he'd basically be the most popular late night host in quite a while.

[@jefferyschic]

He does a good job of staying out of a dark room alone

[@elronhalf-elven6491]

No he's not. He is a woke, failing late night host. Just like Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. The only good late night host left is Conan.

[@kevingibson2519]

@@elronhalf-elven6491 Conan has been off the air for over a year you twit. Do I need to post this in Russian or Hindi to get you to stop?

[@Chancechancechancechancechance]

@@elronhalf-elven6491 Conan doesn't have a show anymore lol

[@rrjgpl]

@@elronhalf-elven6491 failing? Nah, no by a long shot.

[@MartinEB72]

It's cute that when he did this in 2009 or so that he thought that was US at it's worst. He didn't know the hell that was going to be 2020.

[@MAJORp121]

Well of course 2009 John Oliver didnt know what would be happening to 2020 John Oliver. That would take a Delorian.

[@thomasreese2816]

He'll be buying one on his show any day now

[@bzzzzzzBits]

To say it with the simpsons: 'that was the worst you've ever done!.' 'The worst so far.'

[@AbsolutFlippy]

And now he is an American Citizen.

[@timothygraham4304]

2020? It's 2023 now and there's no sign of it stopping. All that military spending must feel I a waste, when they are destroying themselves.

[@natalie_kendel]

"I've learned your rudimentary language..." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@rtd1791]

When they run these excerpts of old shows I really wish they would list in the description which stand-up show was being excerpted. I’ve never seen Oliver’s stand-up from this time period before. Good stuff.

[@petehakkinen3020]

They're from John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show which ran for 4 seasons 2010-2013.

[@lindabriggs66]

Thank you 👍

[@stormtempterf8058]

This was from the Before Times, prior to the US going way off the rails.

[@CM-pf1xc]

Yeah when is this exactly?

[@sengabrockerhoff5750]

Agreed, would love to know even just what year it was

[@heeyyyy1662]

That child hyperventilating-sobbing impression was spot on. I should know because I still sound like that when I cry hard and I’m in high school

[@forestxander]

Dude, I cried like that just last week and I'm in my 50s.

[@JaniceLHz]

@@forestxander Yep, I'm in my 50s too, and I cried like that yesterday.

[@williamtendo7835]

what😅 KZbin 😅 algorithm 😅 has 😅 brought 😅 me 😅 here👌🏽💯😂😂😂

[@XiaolinDraconis]

That dude on trial right now was crying like that. People trying to guess what he said when really he's just gasping for air and crying.

[@RyRy2057]

@@forestxander hey it happens sometimes ya know

[@johnchessant3012]

And years later, during America's most recent time of throwing up all over ourselves, we all turned to him every week for sanity

[@MAJORp121]

TRUUUUUUUUUU

[@kirstynweinberg]

YUP! Never my miss my Sunday night date with him? 🤣

[@kirstynweinberg]

With him!

[@TheZemb1999]

maybe YOU did.

[@michelleplombe7019]

Though now Gutfeld! has assumed that role for us.

[@sighduck9789]

"John Oliver is a Smurf" is still his legacy btw

[@ejs6204]

Taxation without representation... i felt that in my heart

[@miker258]

I’m not sure you even know what that means, mate

[@ejs6204]

@@miker258 i don't expect that you know or understand anything about me from a comment in a video mate. 😉

[@andrewzeedyk3095]

Hearing that from an ex British dude that was freaking funny.

[@seeingtheforest9529]

"America has nothing to fear except America itself." *TRUTH!!!*

[@kaceykelly7222]

John Oliver is truly one of the very best. I love his unique approach to everything! So glad he came to America.

[@qcp974]

So John Oliver‘s standup routines were exactly like his shows. I love it!

[@poltronafrau]

What ?!

[@ReelSpider]

He's only been in America 3 years at this point? He speaks English so well...

[@miker258]

Hahaha You are aware that they speak English where he’s from, right? WOW 🤯 Please tell me you were joking This just about sums up his “fans” as a whole Not too bright

[@DrZaius3141]

@@miker258 You got r/whoosh'd really hard, therefore completely taking a dump with your trousers on.

[@Earthbound369]

@@miker258 Whoa bro, learn to take a joke.

[@JIsaacMardis]

@@miker258well it looks like we found the Republican in the comment section lol

[@miker258]

@@JIsaacMardis you mean the only one with a spine and set of nuts

[@russell88887]

Nice to see his early stand up, Last Week Tonight is such a good show, he makes America's huge and depressing problems easily digestible with a side of comedy otherwise we would all be throwing up all over ourselves.

[@studiosandi]

I love John Oliver. And it's so cute to see him when he was so young💕

[@KINDaf]

And with bangs! Ha!

[@superpotterfan7435]

I’d definitely recommend watching him in the tv show Community. Sooo good!

[@douglasvhurumuku5458]

@@superpotterfan7435 could you imagine? Unbelievable 😂😂

[@Tht1Gy]

There are some appearances of him on the British panel show "Mock The Week" in the first and/or second season, the early to mid 2000s, before he came to America; before he was "a name". Deff worth watching. And yes, it's on yt. 😁

[@lurklingX]

and those dimples

[@EayuProuxm]

Everyone needs a friend like Dan

[@tedspens]

Anybody can swear, but John Oliver knows how to swear! 😆😆

[@ellasmommy9278]

I dearly love this man and I wish he had more than Sunday nights to share his view on the insanity of this world.

[@69goodfella]

I always look forward to John Oliver’s shows!

[@williamjones7163]

Just remember: He is now one of us. He is now a US CITIZEN.

[@dr.davidenglish778]

I feel sorry for him as much as I feel sorry for my fellow Americans.

[@sarahbarrett1247]

Just when I thought John Oliver couldn’t be anymore like Mr Bean he speaks about his teddy bear 😂

[@KHN.RVA.28]

Today if you Google "John Oliver is..." you get 1) ....this your cat 2) ....the best 3) ...facts

[@angeladawn805]

5 days on, The Best comes up fi5

[@yyyy-uv3po]

I still get "john oliver is a smurf" though 😅 I think this entry will never disappear, and if it ever does, it should be our duty to flood Google with this request.

[@eggizgud]

Ditto @@yyyy-uv3po

[@B3Band]

I still can't believe he is the same age, down to the DAY, as John Cena

[@Styphon]

This makes it so appropriate for John and Steve Colbert to fire t-shirt cannons into the audience and out in public at the end of the writers' strike. How else would you get "John blasted the unknown woman in the face" without it being in poorly-writte porn?

[@MerricMaker]

Vis swearing: Some people aren’t keeping any swears under wraps for the right time. There are a very few people to whom it just does not occur. My father-in-law is not suppressing the urge, he is the sort of man who, upon smashing his thumb with a hammer, rises up, clutches the injured digit protectively. And says, with great feeling, “dang it.”

[@ekdaufin1485]

LOVE the U.N. bit was so cathartic! Thank you.

[@coldplaymay]

Very intelligent person and witty humor. I'm here for it.

[@ChurchillGeoff]

just to balance the algorithm, John Oliver is hilarious

[@echognomecal6742]

"My Friend Dan & the Teddy Bear Man" Plz let that be a children's book.

[@sgtmajorfish]

John Oliver is....my favorite late show host. BTW, My twin brother was stationed in Japan (US ARMY) at the time of the earthquake/tsunami and I was attending graduate school in Honolulu, HI where the wave was supposed to hit. We called each other and wondered if we would maybe both die that same day. Wave never came, really it missed the islands all together

[@lunaholiday8585]

I just love him.

[@raymondkymsuttle]

America: graphic violence on TV is absolutely fine but god forbid someone swears. 🙄

[@KMarik]

Or we see a nursing mother.

[@Picla_Peremohy]

Or a same sex couple kissing

[@WillDanceAlone2U]

John's humour is laser sharp, eager to investigate any corner for bs that is just sitting there.

[@dexhazedmv]

Dc born and raised. Taxation indeed

[@deecohen1383]

JOHN DOING STANDUUUUUP. Never saw any of it. Been obsessed forever. But YAY FOR THIS!

[@skehleben7699]

He is the funniest freaking guy, I love him!

[@Bman32x]

Personally, the 1st and most memorable joke he’s told is when he starts arguing with everyone in the audience that “you’ve seen your dad’s penis at some point in your life YES YOU HAVE!”

[@reckage6682]

he's not a smurf, he's Gargamel.

[@xxwookey]

He's quite right about finding non-sweary people untrustworthy.

[@eggizgud]

That anecdote was hilarious.

[@isabelc2131]

These are people who were raised into family shame rules and never figured out it was bullshit. The same people claim as adults that it's their 'own choice' not to swear...sure, like it's your 'own choice' to talk to an imaginary friend mommy and daddy dearest abused you into believing in. And based on that kind of ignorance they're proud and feel they're occupying the moral high ground. If you're always feeling the need to be in control and never say bad bubu words mommy didn't allow you back then she was and still is an immature brat who shouldn't raise ANYONE bc she can't forward a realistic concept of the world.

[@notsure1969]

John puts so much into his comedy. He's definitely my favorite Jewish-looking Brit.

[@Blasted2Oblivion]

Okay...that taxation without representation joke was fucking perfect.

[@mizarluke]

As one of those people who never curses, I'll spell out a few conditions in which I would: Armageddon: If I see the four horsemen of the apocalypse riding towards me under a blood red sky, you can bet that heck isn't going to be enough. Nuclear war: mushroom cloud on the horizon? Yup that'd probably do it. Eldritch horrors legitimately beyond human comprehension? Yeah, "what the heck" ain't gonna be enough. As an interpersonal nuclear option: If I need to tell off or threaten a bully, especially if they know me already, pulling out an expletive-laced tirade will be a lot more powerful than a similar cursing-out from someone who uses that language more often. And finally, as a more generalized bad cop persona or short-lived villain/anti-hero arc. If I'm in an organization that's gone to crap and needs someone to step up and take serious action, especially if I've been complacent in the past, it's a perfect opportunity for a personality about-face which is so much more powerful than what anyone else could pull off.

[@jujitsujew23]

I love Last Week Tonight but I do miss Oliver's standup

[@EmyrDerfel]

I miss him on The Bugle with Andy Zaltzman.

[@jennifercockrill6356]

Best live show I ever saw. I love Last Week Tonight, but him on stage with an audience is pure brilliance.

[@enjoiNirvana]

He did a show in Chicago back in December last year.

[@CatyBee]

Now, in the future, we miss both 😢

[@GaugePlays1980]

1/13/2024 and "John Oliver is a smurf" is now the #1 autocomplete for me

[@gabrieljohnston3110]

Should have added the "First Line of Defense against the Canadians" bit. One of my favorite stand ups of all time lol

[@dsantamaria713]

I absolutely LOVE Oliver!!! ♥️♥️♥️ Brilliant Comedy!!!

[@llebbkish5257]

More John Oliver standup pleeaasseee!!!!🙏

[@petergaskin1811]

6. I don't call them swear words, I call them sentence enhancers.

[@rthomp03]

Listening to censored stand-up about how great swearing is is perhaps the most ironic thing I'll experience in my lifetime.

[@cjsheu]

I think even more ironic is when Billie eilish, then 17, went on Fallon and they had to beep her swearing. you know, to protect the minors

[@annebruecks7381]

Yep, and it totally ruined the last joke. Thanks Comedy Central!

[@alex_blue5802]

On the other hand the opening joke about the censor was hilarious.

[@aemelnick]

He said elsewhere that he thought his jokes were funnier bleeped. I dunno.

[@noahhager1187]

glad to see professor duncan landed on his feet

[@CJFerg81]

8:00 This coming from the guy who would later bean a lady in the face with a Strike Force 5 ⚡ t-shirt fired from a t-shirt cannon on an episode of The Late Show 😂

[@picklerick_91]

he went from making us laugh to making us depressed, disappointed and still making us laugh what a character arc development 😁

[@SonjaDawn]

And then they projectile vomited all over themselves once again...but this time nobody was holding their hair back!

[@KINDaf]

While crapping themselves and no access to a toilet

[@miker258]

While falling UP THE STAIRS 😂

[@arthurmartin4616]

The best part is "john oliver is a smurf" still shows up

[@rachelscomment7672]

Dan is a legend of a friend

[@marcomlott9099]

Can you put up an uncensored version, please?

[@annebruecks7381]

Seriously!!

[@leggomyeggo9]

he is so david mitchell @ 3:32 and I love it

[@cafiend]

I am a devout profanitarian.

[@jet4415]

I had to stop swearing in daily life. I work in an elementary school and nothing worse than hearing, “Ohhhhhh, I’m going to tell!” After they’ve done something so outrageous in the moment to make you swear. Stops you in you tracks, soon I don’t swear.

[@violetsteele350]

He was so young. The last 10 years have been so hard on him

[@falsemcnuggethope]

Or maybe his youth years were so hard on him that they aged him once he became an adult.

[@ekdaufin1485]

Has nothing sufficiently bad happened yet in your lifetime?! 😂❤😊

[@2flewover1]

I thought I may be disappointed; I am not. Actual funny right here.

[@AlexCio]

love to see some old stuff of John ❤❤❤ he‘s always great and always was 🎉🎉

[@GoldnDusty]

Reflecting on it, I wonder if his best friend Dan is the great Daniel Kitson. They lived together and it seems to reflect the kind of tone Kitson's writing about John conveys: their friendship love language is deep psychological torture of one another.

[@oldsesalt8496]

"How is" John Oliver "still a thing?" Because he is awesome!

[@yurmomsaccount]

Can it be last week tonight, EVERY NIGHT?!

[@c.griese7154]

It´s interesting that the "John is a smurf" made it to number 1 on google by now.

[@DonaldAJr]

I love John Oliver as a comedian.

[@willculpepper9637]

Laughed so hard I got the hiccups.

[@PamelaByers-on6vt]

My absolute favorite & sharp comedian ⭐️

[@ritwikchakraborty2805]

I bloody love John Oliver!

[@stooge389]

3:53 bro Google knows that people Google themselves 😂 we literally tell Google to Google us, in order to Google ourselves 😂

[@lbazemore585]

I like your looks, John!! Don’t change a thing!

[@lurklingX]

hahahaaa "and they were friends again" what a twist!

[@doctormccarty4137]

Thanks John! Thanks for the Funny!

[@Fenrisson]

At 3:03 I LOLed and the neighbours complained to me.

[@reneeelich4893]

is a smurf is now the first result. married a cabbage is the second LOL

[@PoweroftheP00f]

Funny, all these years later, he actually IS a Smurf!

[@delila1830]

Awww TV Daddy is just a baby!

[@boRegah]

Bring. Back. Tha _bangs._

[@ekdaufin1485]

Generally love John Oliver! Yes the last 8 years and still. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@BobbiFreedman-e3j]

I love him. A treasure.

[@higoodbye9528]

He actually became a Smurf too 😂😂😂

[@dridadbunkerphd6523]

I LOVE John!

[@feralbluee]

Love the last one. so like kids! :) 🤦🏾🤦🏻‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️

[@MsMiika13]

The T-Mobile acquisition. [Love John Oliver.] Just reacting to a Mint Mobile ad with RR.

[@ConwayBob]

"John Oliver is a Smurf" is now #1 on Google, perhaps because of this ^^^^ routine!🤣

[@aaronkuntze7494]

That's f*,*ing hilarious!

[@Shwammi]

I love this! thank you!

[@beetlejuiceblues12]

1:15 This aged so well.

[@asterix7842]

Obviously this was filmed many years ago, but that first bit would still make perfect sense if it had been filmed last night. I'm guessing it was filmed after the 2008 elections?

[@lurklingX]

ironically that part felt current for sure!! 4yrs instead of 8 but totally.

[@oskibear94]

“John Oliver is this your cat” First result.

[@Brewsy92]

It's cute that the bit at 1:20 about John falling in love with America at its worst like a girl throwing up on herself and telling her everything is gonna be alright is the basis of his entire career at last week tonight

[@group7842]

One thought immediately zipped into my mind........No way most Americans actually know who Ban Ki-Moon is. Easily 98% of that very audience has no clue who he is, possibly more.

[@jamesjaramillo2189]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I Love this guy. Great success on HBO!

[@EugeneDrabek-ce8sn]

Glad that I hit the save button.1st time I seen him

[@williamjacobs]

Teddy Bear guy is there for QA, not judgement.

[@mariarahelvarnhagen2729]

He Really Proctors The Meatpacking

[@envoltaemla6652]

aaah the ultimate gag is john wearing jeans xD