The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence | Bettina Arndt

In this clip, John and Bettina Arndt discuss the data that suggests women contribute significantly to family voilence, neglect of childeren and abuse.
#masculinity #mentoo #cancelculture #education
Bettina Arndt, who has a Master's Degree in clinical psychologist, has had a long career in social commentary engaging with views on men and women. She has hosted her own radio talk show and been on television shows around the world while teaching doctors, medical students and other professionals. She served on government advisory committees that investigated family law, childcare and ageing.
After years of writing and speaking, she now devotes her time to combatting the cultural demonisation of men. She makes videos and talks regularly on various media outlets, speaking out against the legislation and regulations which discriminately disadvantage men.
In 2020 Bettina was awarded with an Order of Australia award for significant service to the community as a social commentator and to gender equity through the advocacy for men.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
See full interview here: • 'Why I am no longer a ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Conversations feature John Anderson, former Deputy Prime Minister of Australia, interviewing the world's foremost thought leaders about today's pressing social, cultural and political issues.
John believes proper, robust dialogue is necessary if we are to maintain our social strength and cohesion. As he puts it; "You cannot get good public policy out of a bad public debate."
If you value this discussion and want to see more like it, make sure you subscribe to the channel here: / @johnandersonmedia
And stay right up to date with all the conversations by subscribing to the newsletter here: johnanderson.net.au/contact/
Follow John on Twitter: / johnandersonac
Follow John on Facebook: / johnandersonac
Support the channel: johnanderson.net.au/support/
Website: johnanderson.net.au/
Podcast: johnanderson.net.au/podcasts/
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Follow Bettina on her website: www.bettinaarndt.com.au/
Follow Bettina on Facebook: / thebettinaarndt
Follow Bettina on her substack bettinaarndt.substack.com/

[@BravoTassia]

My mother was a monster. Dad tried to commit suicide to escape the abuse. He passed away last year. I have no contact with my mother or sister since his passing. I have been trying to protect him all my life and I was excluded and punished for it. Still am. I didn't know where to turn and Dad was so far gone that he was not willing to leave her or escape the abuse. I'm heartbroken. This is such an important topic.

[@barryduff5058]

So very sorry for you multiple losses. Yes, indeed it is certainly a very important subject: but trying to get the truth out is like pushing poo up hill. Cudos to this brave lady and to John Anderson for hosting her/ giving her a platform to speak the truth

[@BravoTassia]

@@barryduff5058 Indeed Barry. ♥️

[@doughartley3513]

Totally relate

[@fambear3650]

Geezuz, that's heavy. I'm sorry for what you went through, but it does highlight the discrepancy within this corrupt movement. Everything is Topsy turvy.

[@laughingachilles]

I'm so sorry you went through that. I wonder how many men have taken their lives due to female abuse. Such men won't ever be included in statistics of domestic abuse and that helps to skew the reality of such things.

[@michaelchandler490]

Brave of you to speak out. As a man I have seen that over the last ten years the people speaking out for men are predominately women and I am very grateful for them.

[@nikitaw1982]

Only women get coverage.

[@TheTaipan]

Any man that would dare to speak out would be pilloried. It's weird that society needs to hear this from women in order for anyone to listen.

[@nikitaw1982]

@@TheTaipan sad men don't stick together throw spanners in their operations. Kids the whole point of all ur efforts.

[@johnmilne8852]

A work colleague of my father was a victim of spousal violence. He wasn't a large man, in fact he was quite small and his wife physically abused him for decades, he finished his life in the foetal position in hospital. A horrible life for a paediatric surgeon, who's life was bound to the Hypocratic oath of "Do no harm".

[@sirwholland7]

This subject is long overdue. I have witnessed one of the most abusive relationships in my life between a good friend and military officer, excellent combat officer and leader of men and women - brilliant man. At home he was subject to the most violent and abusive (psychological and physical directed at him and never witnessed him raise his voice or hand to her) behavior, emasculating and manipulative. She was a successful medical professional - nurse practitioner and teacher and they were financially secure. This went on for four years before he was finally convinced to divorce her. No children thank goodness. I don’t know what happened to her, but he remarried a few years latter and has a wonderful family now.

[@ThisBloke760]

I watched my son cop abuse from his narcissistic wife almost to suicide, only by Gods grace he avoided it. Thank heaven she left him and now we have our son back. Abuse is not just physical

[@letstalk3265]

My eldest Son was almost run down by his girlfriend (now long past ex) several years ago. This was the last straw as he rang me for advice. I said he had to go to the Police and report the incident. The Police Officer was a woman who happened to be the Head of the Domestic Violence Unit for Southern District of our city. She reassured my Son that the facts he presented were common and that domestic violence rates were equal amongst both sexes. The problem is that male victims are less likely to report such incidents whereas there is a decent percentage of female reported incidents that are baseless and mischievous ie weaponized. She stated that you don't read about the real truth about this because of the leftist feminist agenda to not report the truth because of the plethora of funding dependent organizations in this area. Out of myself and my four children, the youngest is 27 years old, four out of five of us have experienced DV incidents perpetrated by women. None by men. My Son and my daughter are the only two of the four victims who actually went to the Police. If all of us, especially me, Dad, had reported this scourge in the early days, then I might have prevented my children from their future traumas with their Mother.

[@Theactivepsychos]

So you’re saying in the hierarchy of power and influence in domestic violence awareness and prosecution its leftist feminists who hold the best position? And where did you get this information from again? A police officer who was head of domestic abuse? O. K.

[@etsequentia6765]

So many stories like yours over the years. And still, the feminist campaign only ever mentions female victims and male perpetrators. feminists have been very thorough in erasing male victims from existence by erasing them from public consciousness. We learned nothing from Earl Silverman. We continue to ignore victims or blame them. I hope you can recover from this. I wish you well.

[@barryduff5058]

I'm so sorry mate😥😢

[@KatDenton-sc4ho]

Why are you capitolizing Son and Mother?

[@letstalk3265]

@@KatDenton-sc4ho I apologise for my inconsistencies. The above should also read ''...my Daughter...''. I'm doing the capitalising ie a not o, to emphasize their importance to me.

[@OrinThomas]

If you are a guy going through this at the hands of your partner, know you aren't alone.

[@Amivgr1]

Just strike back .. Hard . And it Will only happen once

[@flizz83]

@@Amivgr1 assault is illegal and you are justifying abuse with abuse

[@LordVautier]

​@@flizz83start sending false accusers to jail. Perjury is a criminal offence! Stop letting them abuse our justice system!

[@paccawacca4069]

Agreed. Self defense is valid and acceptable.@@Amivgr1

[@unicornadrian1358]

@@Amivgr1lol nice work captain caveman. The reality is that if you hit her back, armed thugs in blue uniforms will drag you out of your house with little more than the clothes on your back. She and the police will then use free legal assistance to remove access to your kids and steal everything you own.

[@lapensulo4684]

Having been married to a very abusive woman I can fully attest to this. This is the absolute worst thing in the world. I literally fled the marriage. I had to secretly over a few months prior, with a friend, plan my escape. One of the happiest day in my life when I achieved my freedom. If she had found out or even suspected that I was leaving she would have taken a butcher knife to me while I slept. My sense is that her rage towards men was driven by the fact that she was sexually abused by her father and brother. Post marriage I developed a mantra, ‘I would rather be lonely then miserable.’

[@raymondzehrung9274]

Same here. I realized that to be alone is not the same as being lonely. Married to a wonderful woman now, after 16 years of being divorced. It took me a long time to trust again.

[@chriswells485]

Thank you John and Betina for touching on this subject. Very brave. The propagation of this dominant narrative is well and alive at University today - especially in Criminality and Deviance studies. If you were to challenge this particular notion within a tutorial exchange - I can honestly tell you, you will be threatened with inappropriate behaviour or misconduct. Student inclusion and safety is only for those who are willing to toe the status quo.

[@johnmac333]

My brother is married to a psycho bully wife , who for 20 years has berated him , hit him , locked him out of the house , made him sleep on garage floors , swore repeatedly at him ,most of it in front of their kids . And she walks free and unrepentant courtesy of a system that allows her this behaviour , while stripping a man of EVERYTHING for the same actions .

[@lostinspace699]

when a house.cactches fire . don't they investigate how it started ,,,,

[@user-or1pf5nr5i]

Psychopath hey....??

[@galacticnemesis366]

My ex would quickly descend into violence as a way to deal with our issues. I remember being beaten over the back of the head with weapons because I believed I had a right to use the hot water out of the tap to wash the dishes that I paid for. When I finally left and arranged to visit my kids I saved the message she sent saying she couldn’t go through with the meeting because she didn’t think she would be able to control herself. I sacrificed so much to provide for my family yet I know when it comes down to it our institutions will look upon me as the bad guy. I worked fly in fly out so that me and my family could have the house of our dreams on a few acres of land close to her family so that she could have that family support while I worked away. Then when I returned for r&r it felt like she couldn’t wait until I left again. Like I was the one creating the problem. All I ever wanted was for us all to have the best of what our country had to offer. I’d come home and get up early to read books and sing and dance have fun with the kids from dawn and make a delicious breakfast and then do my best to achieve as much maintenance on the property as I could on my time off while juggling time with the ex and the kids. Yet it all seemed like it was never enough. I even searched for and purchased the house of her dreams with verandahs all the way around on a couple of acres. The kids could have horses and chooks and even a goat. Access to great schools swimming lessons 2 sets of grand parents, cousins etc. She used to tell me how she was a bully as a kid. I always followed the men don’t hit women value. The one time I pushed her away as she was beating me over the head she tried to turn it against me and make me out to be the aggressor. I knew then that I had to withdraw from the situation for my kids sake. I didn’t want them to grow up seeing that. I was always taught there’s better ways to deal with any situation than resorting to violence. I have never attempted to talk down my ex as a mother. All I ever wanted was peace. I love my kids and they love me. 😎👍👊🇦🇺

[@Microbex]

A male friend of mine was hit on daily basis after one year into his marriage. He would never hurt anyone himself. He wanted a divorce. He got the divorce, but she got the custody of the children. He never reported her for domestic violence, probably because of the stigmata that men can't be victims of violence.

[@souxcasa]

He wouldn't have been targeted by an abuser if he was the kind of person who would hurt people. Abusers are masters at spotting people who they can groom

[@davemclean3899]

This conversation needs to be shared far and wide... Spot on

[@methosb]

My wife used to be abusive but as I was much larger I initially brushed it off. Eventually she ended up scratching up my face which was embarrassing for me in public and work, my kids were upset at her and she finally had a kind of epiphany and got some mental help. Now she has totally turned it around and we are very happy.

[@barryduff5058]

Wow! That good news at the end was just what my dry, thirsty soul needed. Thanks mate🙂

[@effortless-one]

Good to hear. Similar situation, over 35 years married to a covert narcissist. I finally said I was out of there and she finally got help in the form of neuro-feedback which worked and saved our marriage. Unfortunately it caused me a lot of trauma and put me in a state of Complex PTSD and completely stripped me of the motivation that I once had.

[@fffff2521]

You are a very patient and loving husband.

[@sneezyfido]

As soon as she makes a turn downward again, understand that you have given her more chances and space than any man would ever get. Get your kids out of there and follow suit.

[@dn8015]

What is the most often reported domestic violence by group: lesbian relationships wins by miles.

[@isabellarusso57]

I was absolutely appalled when boys from a high school in Melbourne had to get up in front of the school and APOLOGISE for being a white male! Thank you Bettina and John for standing up and fighting for our men and boys.

[@olddog-fv2ox]

This will have a profound detrimental cultural long term implication

[@peterforsythe3643]

Brave Bettina! And good on you, John, for giving her views an airing. It’s the same in so many areas. As Bettina says “We get only one side of the story”.

[@PIREPvideos]

My ex-wife punched me in the face, when I asked her why she wouldn’t take our daughter to a hospital (the ex had physically attacked our son, and daughter previously). I filed an assault charge. The Magistrate ruled that I had been the aggressor because of the way I walked up to the door of her house. The system is loaded against males in Australia.

[@st-ex8506]

I was brutalized for months by my ex-girlfriend. Weighing 50% more than she did, and being quite fit, her pummeling was not hurting much (although broke my glasses once), but I simply COULD NOT RETURN THE BLOWS! I knew that if I did, I would go straight to jail. The final straw was when she attacked me with a 10 inch kitchen knife! I was able to parry the stab, grab her wrists and disarm her. But in doing so, I sprained her middle finger. She went straight to the doctor to get a medical certificate, then to the police station. Sure enough, I had two officers at my place within hours. I explained them what happened... and they believed me. I later found out that she had a record of violence on a police officer, when stopped for her crazy driving... which explained why the officers had been so courteous with me! Obviously, our relationship went no further! And what atrocious behavior did I have towards her to justify such violence? Well, I was simply trying to get her off excessive marijuana smoking... which addiction, by the way, totally changed her psychological balance from the time I met her!

[@rm4347]

I have two mates who’s wife’s often punch and throw things at them, at least once a month because they can’t get there own way. They both say they only stay there because of there kids, once the children are older there out of there. Everyone jokes about it and say’s hit her back but we all know that two wrongs don’t make a right. If they did unfortunately the police would only believe the women, that’s the system we live in

[@billburr5881]

til death do you part - how he arranges that separation is up to him!

[@davidhawley1132]

Don't let anyone get away with abusing you. Call it out, and don't ignore it. Weakness can bring out the worst in others.

[@svwallen]

At last. As a male “recipient” of physical violence from a female partner, it’s about time this problem was made public. Bettina is an absolute CHAMP! Please keep speaking the truth. 👍👍

[@etsequentia6765]

Men's Rights Advocates have been raising awareness to this for years, decades. They have been thoroughly silenced, villainized and marginalized. I hope you recover from your experience.

[@BadHonkyTonks]

I began working with Males involved in domestic violence from Probation & Parole. When I did start working with these males inviably demanded assistance with their own domestic violence. Their motivation, the detrimental affects of their behaviour on their children. The work we did together was extremely successful resulting in continuing referrals. I tried to tell my colleagues of this observations, however none were interested. Worse, I was vilified and in the end resigned due to an environment that had become totally toxic preventing me from properly doing my job.

[@glynboyce3857]

It makes me so despondent. For alll victim let us feel despondent.this is not a gender problem,but a social identity problem,perhaps

[@douglasanderson153]

I 100% agree with this woman. I am a solicitor who has seen my share of matters and it’s not a male problem…

[@user-in6vn2pp7v]

Well done John and Bettina. This needs much more exposure. I witnessed my mother’s abuse and manipulation many times. Unfortunately most Men have been raised to never raise a finger to Women, even when the Men themselves are being assaulted. Many Women play on this. My first wife thought it was funny to try and knee me in the Testicles. Funny how we seem to marry women that resemble our mothers. Thank you. Glenn.

[@maxmarchildon1113]

God bless her!

[@GarthClarkson]

What makes it worse is that the Duluth model for domestic violence which automatically assumes the male as the perpetrator is used by all of our first responder and family law agencies. Guilty unless proven innocent. I know many families that have been destroyed by this.

[@geoffreyfield6686]

I started watching Bettina when she created her YT channel, around the 150th subscriber, so her views are very well known to me. Just wanted to say thanks for your discussion with her in highlighting this issue. Cheers.

[@jimturpin6503]

I am more concerned about government intrusion on people's relationships than I am about domestic violence.

[@nikitaw1982]

How do u think they do that? Why do u think they believe lying women? Divide and conquer. Give the abusive woman custody they get a runaway. More services to bill the tax payers for are 3 injured people alienated father. Woman enabled to be a criminal. The runaway drug addict child.

[@betterdaysahead3746]

But the government has intruded albeit covertly. As evidenced here lobbyists have successfully bullied the government to uphold an ideology contrary to reality. They have been intruding for decades.

[@ministeroffice9251]

Grave breaches of 'Human Rights' and the 'International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR)', with international crimes against humanity such as Genocide.

[@LRRPFco52]

More fresh meat children to feed into the arms of the predators as well.

[@johnmac333]

Great point , Jim yet the "domestic violence" industry , just like the "racism" and "lgbtq+ " industries are foisted on us daily , hourly to shame and weaken us as a nation and all these issues play into the intrusion into our lives , just as the WEF/WHO /UN and Gates etc . want it .

[@Wishitwasnttrue.]

They marched in the streets across Australia 🇦🇺 not to long ago for domestic violence against women….. But I wounded how many of those women were abusing their husbands !!!!

[@MrXtenzion]

I found the Depp vs Amber trial interesting. Johnny was talking about his violent mother and how his dad just had to take the beating. If it wasn't physical abuse it was emotional. That created in Johnny a reputation compulsion where he allowed the same dynamic play out with his ex wife Amber Heard. What worries me is how little we have heard since. Imagine if it was the other way around...

[@1ethanb]

my ex was controlling, abusive and violent but i never called the police. eventually she went to the police with lies that got me in trouble. she then left with our one year old and i haven't seen my daughter for 6yrs

[@novoca1n3]

I was a victim and even with two lots of videos, one of which my son recorded, and bruises around my neck from where my girlfriend tried to strangle me, the woman was never charged and my file wasn't even marked as DV related. The Commonwealth Law Enforcement Ombudsman investigated and found the AFP here in Canberra should have charged her however CLEO can't force the AFP to lay charges so she got off. Furthermore, CLEO stated that Police notes showed they were trying to find something to charge me with but couldn't as I had done nothing wrong. I am but one example in a sea of many. This is why DV stats are skewed towards women being victims. When men do report they are ignored and not recorded as DV

[@barkebaat]

I am not a violent man. I have never been in a fight. I have never hit anyone. Two of my previous girlfriends / cohabitants have hit me in the face and not at all felt ashamed for doing so -- "it was my fault". My gender / sexuality is toxic, I'm repeatedly told. I, that want to protect women and children? OK. You are on your own now. Good luck.

[@davidbray2500]

I’ve just broken out of a 3 year relationship where I was blamed for everything. I would be afraid to stay at her house but just as afraid not to stay due to the repercussions. It wasn’t until she went to hit me that I fought back. I’m now out of this controlling toxic relationship and I can see it for what it was.

[@Mike-br8zt]

I am a lawyer and we all know the truth and know the script we have to follow.....or else.

[@SoloRenegade]

or else? be a lawyer and bring a suit against those threatening you.

[@S.M.E.A.C]

Solo Renegade-Easier said than done when everyone is just trying to survive. If you've got a wife and kids who rely on your income it's career suicide,unless you have FU money saved and the family is prepared to take a huge slide down the prosperity ladder (most women are not). Not saying it's right to do nothing,but every action has a reaction,nothing is ever simple.

[@SoloRenegade]

@@S.M.E.A.C must not be a good lawyer if you don't think you can win a lawsuit over blackmail and threats.

[@Bennie32831]

​@@SoloRenegadeit's probably more about the fact you don't bite the hand that feeds you divorces

[@SoloRenegade]

@@Bennie32831 more like laziness, incompetence, cowardice, and/or just a general lack of values. We have gov issues because everyone is too afraid to stand up and act well within their rights.

[@ickster23]

I've seen my mother and both grandmothers constantly verbally assault their husbands. Each them also escalated this to throwing things and physically hitting their husbands. The men just took it in stride and rarely ever even raised their voices. Stoic to the end.

[@chriscunningham8807]

The men considered such violent and abusive conduct normal. Were they involved in crime or the mafia? Sounds like my Soviet-Israeli neighbours. If they're not attacking other people they cannibalise each other. Welcome to the mob. All amusing until they turn on you. Hope you do not repeat the cycle or marry a woman like your mother.

[@AlexSmith-gr4hp]

The problem with the “respect for women” message is that it can translate to “accept abuse” in men being abused by women, because the message isn’t “respect for all” and men being abused get ignored and themselves accused of abuse. Without a way to talk about their issues, without a legal way out and messaging that says standing up for themselves in any way (including non violent) is itself abuse, they can often snap and become exactly what we’re trying to prevent. Shelters and legal help for women gave them a way out of relationships without resorting to violence that has only been made worse for men with messaging that says they’re always to blame. Once the money became the primary driver of this industry there is no desire to improve outcomes, only to perpetuate the issues and lie and say it’s helping. Every high profile domestic violence case is a revenue boost for them, so this is why they’ve created the conditions to drive more hopelessness and violence in men. It’s the same reason they encourage women to do nothing or show any common sense in protecting themselves from violence. It’s a cause that needs martyrs for fundraising.

[@nomnom8194]

In a word: misandry.

[@joevolcano6720]

Correct. The fact that 99% men don't even know that word says a lot. Because when it happens to them, it's not out of 'Man Hating'. In their eyes, it's always always the mans fault.

[@johnmac333]

A word the media is not interested in .

[@nomnom8194]

@@johnmac333 one of the media’s favorite words is misogyny. It’s a one way street.

[@aaronm1483]

​@@johnmac333Exactly. So much so even Google is like "huh?" (Translate to English) "waiting?"

[@fergusmcgruff752]

I’ve witnessed a woman physically assault a man. The police did not want to know until she flipped the script and accused him! She then used it to take his kids away.

[@retrogiftsuk4812]

I'm so glad of Bettina for speaking out on this issue.

[@alanrainey5022]

I've said this before, my kids 16, 12, 10 decided to stay full time with me after their mother took out an AVO on me. The day after we both signed an agreement to share custody. She had been verbally attacking me for months, and other things I won't go into here. At the end of 3 months I was able to prove that (via txt messages she'd been sending me ) it was all lies. Did she get penalised for lying to the Police and Court? Of course not! My kids are adults now, and I am proud of them. But I still consider myself damaged. There needs to be a penalty for those that are proven to have manipulated the system, under false pretences. BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN, WILL IT......

[@scatton61]

My understanding is that in the UK 70% of non-reciprocal violence is perpetrated by women. The men simply didn't hit back.

[@MaskHysteria]

Anecdotally, I have known vastly more cases of female on male abuse among friends and family than male on female, at around 10 to 1. Personally, I've experience physical abuse from a woman in my life and never, not once, did I lay a finger on her. Additionally, the standard for men to claim physical abuse is absurdly higher. There's simply too many idiots who think that "he must be doing something to deserve it". Women simply say the words and the man is arrested, without question. Men require proof, usually in the form of bruises, cuts, etc. and, even then, the prevailing attitude is "take it like a man" or that, somehow, you're less of a man for even mentioning the abuse. It is truly pathetic how society approaches men abused by the women in their lives. In my case the last straw was a large bruise on my arm that lasted three weeks which landed her 48 hours in jail. The police and medical reports were submitted as evidence in the subsequent divorce which she dragged on for two years in order to continue the abuse for as long as she could.

[@paulwary]

There are so many lies, half-truths, distortions and misrepresentations in every policy area impacted by feminist propaganda. How mauch can the really disapprove of gender stereotypes, when they reach for them the moment it suits them?

[@pesci1771]

Thank you Bettina for putting yourself on the line to explain the real domestic violence. I have never seen men be violent towards women, that's not to say that it doesn't happen. But I have consistently seen woman abuse and hit men.

[@chrisbeauchamp5563]

Thank you for what you are doing with these conversations John. I am looking forward to what you may be able to achieve with ARC.

[@mattk9089]

I've been saying this for a longtime, that there is a huge problem with domestic violence against children by their mothers. And of course the default for child custody in the family court is that for a large majority of the time, the children go with the mother. I grew up in this scenario, and the treatment I got at the hands of my mother was horrible. The worst part of her behaviour was the psychological manipulation with the threat of physical violence. Would take too long to detail that here, but this is a very real issue that is buried and shut down due to gender/feminist politics. Thank you Bettina, you're a bit of a loan voice.

[@micko.g3258]

Thank you for your help for help for men , we are forgotten , until pay day .

[@stephendejong2805]

Anybody remember the old Andy Cap comics with the recurring trope of Andy coming home from the pub, his wife was always waiting for him with the rolling pin in hand. As a child I couldn't understand why that was supposed to be funny.

[@etsequentia6765]

Female-on-male violence has long been engrained in our society as a positive and entertaining thing no one thinks twice about, but everyone are eager to dogpile and attack ANYONE who dares complain about the hypocrisy and double standard. Humiliating men, and humiliating and isolating anyone who calls out this awful practice. Meanwhile you're a hero if you "stand up for women victims" and calling out violence against women. Amazing.

[@TimBitts649]

John Anderson should interview Erin Pizzey. 84 years old. She started the world's first domestic violence shelter, in England.

[@SaveWesternCivilisation]

I ran for the NSW Senate on an anti-domestic violence platform in 2022, but not one person in the Australian media would speak to me. I've spent over forty years trying to get people to listen to survivors of horrific childhood violence, but noone wants to listen. I even climbed the 700-foot tall RBS building in Sydney to hang banners about it. I'm running in 2025, and all of Australia is going to know about my efforts. I'm about to email both people in this video - should I hold my breath waiting for an answer? I'm going to singlehandedly save Australia from domestic violence. I've spent nearly fifty years trying to get people to listen. I'll succeed or die trying.

[@veganath]

If you are voted to the Senate, & I wish you the best in this endeavour, exactly what solution will you propose?

[@unclefester5418]

When have you ever heard of a Men’s shelter ? But for women any number of shelters exist and receive government funding - that’s equality for you

[@keithad6485]

What is never discussed in the media and on tv - is wives/GFs who figure out their man's vulnerable emotions then verbally attack that emotion with verbal button pushing til the dude loses control of himself and lashes out the aim of the woman. The do not let up in their effort to get their man to lose control of themselves and physically attack her. I experienced this with my then GF a few years ago. I did not lash out, cos violence is not the answer and not how I deal with confrontations likes this, I walked out of the house to diffuse the situation each time, After the ninth time, I ended the relationship. Peace came back into my life.

[@fatherburning358]

Same. I could recognise crazy quite easily from then on. Insidious behaviour. Cost was mental health and money. 🤦💩

[@margaretcampbell2681]

I agree men and women who are violent haven’t learned to argue in a mature way.

[@darylbaker7787]

Truth right there.. thank you!

[@TheRahsoft]

Those( individuals and organisations) who actively suppress the truth ( and the data behind it) to further their own agenda should be named, shamed and defunded. DV is an appalling blight on society and the enabling ( yep enabling) of this by various groups is an even bigger blight..

[@horses2by]

Thank you for talking about this 👏👏👏

[@k20t30pl]

I am a man who was regularly beaten by a now ex partner. She went to get counselling for her abuse, but the counsellor said I deserved it, which I never did. My ex groomed the counsellor to side with her. But for the counsellor to say I deserved it shows how far down the gutter this ideological trash has fallen.

[@aayushg8]

You can see and feel how angry she is at the current state of media and government and has lot more to say about certain group of people trying to control this narrative.

[@John_II]

There is no way this is a popular opinion. I happen to have been assaulted by a girlfriend years ago; she slapped me across the face during an argument (more than once). I didn't hit her back because I did not want to escalate the fight or harm her, but I remember thinking that it really says something about a person who resorts to violence like that. I won't say she had no right to be angry with me, but I will say her assault was disproportionate to the situation: she was in no physical danger, she simply disagreed with my point of view (strongly). I'm willing to bet if I went public with this assault, I would have received comments like "you probably deserved it" and not "how dare someone slap you". The people I did confide in were supportive and understanding and IMO correctly condemned the slaps for what they were - acts of domestic violence. I hope I'm the last person she ever hit.

[@Gumbatron01]

It's not just physical violence. Psychological abuse, often combined with physical violence. A family friend of mine had a wife who was a really nasty piece of work, basically a psychopath. He was a big guy, would have played AFL if he didn't have a car accident, very capable of perpetrating violence if he wanted to, but he would neve hit a woman, ever. His wife was very manipulative and violent. Eventually, he could no longer take it and took his own life. She may not have put the rope around his neck physically, but she did everything to make it happen.

[@felixthecat3n2]

The truth in all matters is paramount. No matter how uncomfortable it may be...

[@josa9902]

$3B dollars. and nothing has changed. Stop the funding.

[@user-ny6zo7tz8v]

PROVOCATION,,PROVOCATION. Some years ago a police officer mentioned that 'provocation; was the cause of many DV cases.. Men she said often explode,hide in their shell or sadly 'suicide'. And they feel so helpless because they usually cannot do anything about it,and there has virtually been no study on'provocation'? Alan..

[@brandonross1996]

Any woman I’ve ever been with has been told that if they dream of laying a finger on me it will be the last thing I do, I open admit to anyone. Man or woman you will get hurt if you think you can take me on 😁

[@fatherburning358]

Same. Non negotiable. I believe in equality. Real equality 💪👍

[@nickbarber2080]

It's broader than actual violence,though. Recently it was proposed that the terms of reference for domestic abuse would be extended to include psychological abuse. Someone I know who is involved in the domestic violence sector posted this on social media. I pointed out that this might have undesired effects (for her) on the balance of sexes when it comes to reports of domestic abuse. This was not a popular observation...

[@davidhawley1132]

Yeah, but the feminists have a script, with a laundry list of types of abuse. And of course, all of these can make into the stats.

[@gregallan2842]

@j4Rose Physical harm generally heals. Psychological harm is forever.

[@KatDenton-sc4ho]

That's ridiculous to conflate it with domestic violence. Probably a majority of people engage in some level of emotional abuse..if it is particularly aggressive, angry and controlling, it COULD be an indication of physical violence to come, but that would depend on the individual, the severity etc. Those are not conclusions that can just be automatically drawn in the presence of abuse.

[@johnshafer7214]

Women on man and women on women domestic violence is real. One of four women and one of five men are victims of domestic violence. Other cases of domestic violence is Mom's boyfriend attacking mom's sons. We need to address all of this. Great video.

[@flizz83]

your stats are false

[@paccawacca4069]

Pretty sure women commit most of the DV.

[@Theactivepsychos]

You could search feminist against violence female to male and then you’d see these conversation have been going on and are seriously considered. Ignorance isn’t an excuse.

[@Angrybogan]

Not so long ago, saying "Forty plus years of research shows that most domestic violence is reciprocal" would get you cancelled

[@iggyblitz8739]

What amazes me is the amount of child neglect deaths there are, msny by mothers that hardly get any attention compared to other crimes, snd threy deserve nore attention for better prevention strategies in future.

[@moopius]

And I get called a misogynist for asking about men's shelters on white ribbon day?

[@nugley]

We should build a brass statue of Bettina on a hill, well grounded, so for centuries to come she can continue to be the lightning rod we need.

[@arthurmarcel2137]

Good show, John. Thanks.

[@ele2051]

Thank you, Bettina, for your level-headed analysis. The ultra feminist slant on things is divisive and unhelpful.

[@Dyrlundgaard]

You are absolutely right!

[@Bob123Max]

Once again, ideology hiding reality. I have witnessed some of this myself. Having to make up stories about injuries to my face to friends - then at other times hearing via others that I was physically violent.

[@theimpi2855]

My mates female house mate broke a broom across his back. When he tried to lay charge against her he was asked, are you sure you want to do that. Reverse the scenario and see the outcome.

[@allanmakabayan8062]

I have so much respect on Bettina. God bless you and thank you for letting men be heard.. we should protect her and support her. This video must be shared.. how men are treated by the family law is super wrong. Biased and sexist.. they treat us like cash cows and abuse us cause we’re deprived of rights.. son injustice.. thank you mam🙏🏽🙏🏽

[@philliphickox4023]

There is an article which I can't find at present published by the Conversation that stated something like "if female violence against men is address, then women were less likely to be killed or injured.:

[@billburr5881]

Yes - UN recommendation to reduce domestic violence is for women to not hit their partners! Most IPV is mutual - she hits him/he hits her. Only when he hits her she suffers worse injury (unless she uses a weapon). When he in injured, due to stigma, the injury is reported as an accident - not abuse!

[@philliphickox4023]

@@billburr5881 The problem is the sharp tongue and people get triggered, emotional buttons get pushed, and it escalates

[@veganath]

@@philliphickox4023 we have epidemic of 'offense take', people unwisely choosing to allow others to words to control & manipulate them into relinquishing their happiness & joy in life....

[@jeffedmunds8384]

Where are all the trolls to argue about domestic violence being one way. This needs to be shared far and wide and we will see the comments change

[@richardager1861]

Great work John and Bettina

[@kadykarinas8432]

I have seen this problem from both sides, Betina does not mention another fact that I and my family has suffered from personally, I was married to a socially enigmatic man for 13 years until I finally had to walk away because I realised after the first 6 months that my husband had such a horrific sharp cruel wit that he would often diminish even strong minded men, my fault was that I admired this trait until I had to live with it! I was warned of this before we married but I didn't understand what I was being told. May I say that although he was an Army sergeant he was known to be someone who did not suffered fools gladly from early childhood. My children and I used to live in fear of his key turning in the front door lock. On the other side of the coin I personally witnessed a female friend of mine bully her new husband on several occasions until she pushed him to the point of tears, I was devastated because I had introduced them to each other. ,The warning is this 'do not be rushed into any relationship however wonderful it may seem at first until one has investigated their history and checked out how associates family and friends react to the person, this may take time but so worth it in the long run, for another reason too 'any children of the union may inherit or develop these disrespectful violent traits which will lead on to the inevitable causation of more unhappy lives.

[@jackgilley7425]

I had good parents. I had no idea people could be truly evil. in my mid 30's my eyes were partially opened by a handful of cases that I reluctantly handled. I found them sickening. I wonder now looking back, if our world is clearly even more evil now than it was in the 80's due to the gradual diminishment of faith and worship.

[@ThisBloke760]

Yep. If God is ignored he lets us stew in our own passions.

[@syncopatedsteve]

Wow. I'm stunned.

[@rafapieroni84]

Enlightening!

[@John_II]

It's interesting to look behind the curtain. No one likes domestic violence, but if there's money behind the movement, then it almost betrays the movement. We shouldn't be creating an empire behind false notions of domestic violence. If it's important to us as a society to do something about it, why not address root causes (like conflict resolution) instead of creating jobs around it that do not necessarily help solve the issue?

[@tracik1277]

I know a man who was abused by the mother of his child for several years. When he died she ended up in control of all his extensive estate. He would turn in his grave.

[@benjaminwaters4162]

Would be great to see some of the studies mentioned.

[@Bennie32831]

Excellent 👌👍💯👏👏👏👏👏

[@johnmorris8891]

Thank you, Bettina.

[@DonTruman]

Stellar discussion

[@jedpaxton3927]

ALLOWS on the money Bettina!

[@burtonlee22]

Thank you Bettina

[@teresablowes2427]

Is there a longer video of all of the interview with Betina Arndt? I can only find shorts?

[@alexsandersmith1880]

Women will punch men but say it doesn't hurt men. Yes physically when a man strikes a woman the power is not equal. Trans women don't beat up Mike Tysons types.

[@user-fr5nm1yx8o]

every society in the past has died from extreme negligence and lies loss of respect and morals etc and they have fallen or been eradicated, ours is going the same way except we are a nuclear society

[@user-ce9gm7fq6m]

Women don’t have to be violent to be abusive towards men.Simply not pulling their weight over an extended period of time will do it.

[@fatherburning358]

Hahaha you know my former wife

[@ldticp]

Finally someone telling the truth!!!

[@Gougen_Stuff]

Seems to be a general opinion amongst women that it's ok for them to hit men as it "doesn't hurt them" I can think of at least 4 local and recent DV homicides where women have stabbed their male partners or thrown knives at their male partners

[@albywilson1881]

Thank you bettina

[@chrisjackson9626]

Just to clarify, it is called the Dunedin Study, but that's OK near enough. It's still a city on the South Island.