Wife’s Gaming Addiction Is Costing Us Thousands

Wife’s Gaming Addiction Is Costing Us Thousands
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[@DJRiyzen]

She's the reason those mobile gaming companies report record profits every year. 🤣

[@JustinCase780]

She's an example not the reason.

[@sarahlund-nt3kw]

No doubt about that. 😮

[@Coastpsych_fi99]

It’s so sad that someone’s profit is linked to another’s suffering

[@STak-ju7gx]

​@@Coastpsych_fi99poor husband lol. In the industry's defense, they only make a product that most normal and responsible people consume in moderation.

[@ricardosoca7380]

How is this funny? You are heartless

[@FrankS111]

Both my wife and I have GAD and this isn’t about anxiety. This is about an addiction….NOT ANXIETY. If she cannot handle this like a big girl then she cannot handle having a phone or access to the credit cards. If she wants to act like a child who has no accountability then she gets to be treated like a child with phones and credit cards.

[@JerseyDevilJerseyGirl]

I love how there’s a disorder for almost everything now

[@Kkun-qs2gt]

Dr. John is saying the addictive behaviour stems from anxiety.

[@alluringbliss4165]

GAD stands for generalized anxiety

[@FrankS111]

@@alluringbliss4165 uhhh yeah….your point?

[@robynjefferson4779]

You are a judgemental creep.

[@eeayquetting5963]

"all anxiety is, is an alarm system for your body." My anxiety was out of control as long as I was always trying to fight it acting like it shouldn't have been there. Listening to it was scary because it meant I would have to change a lot of things and let go of some people and face some difficult things. But once I did, my relationship with anxiety completely transformed

[@miltoncat]

I have an anxiety disorder and depression. In my 20s up to my 30s, I racked up $20k of credit card debt. Shopping to feel better. It was a fun thing to do. Got married at 35 and for awhile kept spending. It took me way too long to realize I was dishonoring my marriage, my husband and myself. I stopped spending and paid all the debt off. Have not gone back to the spender I was. I promise that shopping isn’t worth the heaviness and fear that is debt.

[@shellyb5014]

Poeple will literally do anything but seek treatment!

[@TheAshMcG]

Wow, wow, wow....great explanation of anxiety disorder and numbing behavior. Dr. John you are a blessing to this world.

[@maahnii6555]

OMG I was in one of those mobile games that had thousands of people sinking thousands of dollars in purchasing - aka pay to win games. I get how she uses the game as coping mechanism as I also got into it to avoid facing problems in real life. It’s a “wonderful” world spending solves most of the problem and you are treated more relevant more you spend in the game lol. The more she stays in it, more damage it’ll do to her real life including worsening her anxiety.

[@NealBurkard-ut1oo]

"Any diagnosis is a context, not an excuse!" Exactly lol

[@amydoran9987]

She’s using her anxiety as an excuse to over spend,and use gaming to drive them into the poor house.From what he is saying, she is not the type to admit she needs help.

[@The-Oneness11]

Most addicts don't want to admit when they need help because then they would have to take responsibility.

[@franziskani]

Not anxiety, this is about numbing behavior - from 6:47 on. And John is very transparent about his numbing behavior (in the past).

[@stephenpetersen354]

Mobile gaming companies track individual users and will design content specifically for them. A infamous story was a dev made a sword worth several thousand in actual USD was made specifically for a whale and they bought it. Do not get involved in micro transactions.

[@librarygyal0589]

She’s only a minnow now, she’ll become a kraken with in game spending in no time if she doesn’t quit cold turkey. People can go to spending thousands of dollars a month before they realize it on mobile games. Good luck to both of them.

[@DebbieBennett-p5v]

This gut needs to seriously think about staying or divorcing this addict. If he stays married then he needs to take away all access to accounts and put a freeze on their credit so nothing can be opened. Remove all games from phone with parental restrictions. But...I would run! I would not want a lifetime of this

[@seribellum1844]

Thank you Dr. John! This was an incredibly helpful description and discussion of what anxiety is.

[@alwaysultra958]

She has to quit cold turkey! Her gaming is an escape and an excuse, she needs to find an alternative (positive) means to cope. In all honesty, $1000.00 a year is nothing on a gaming addiction. She probably has her own group of friends on her game that make her feel valued / important. I know many mobile gamers who have spent 20k to 40k a year and sometimes even more. I have some personal experience with this. The only way to overcome is to quit cold turkey and never look back. Moderation doesn't work. Gaming addictions are very similar to gambling addictions.

[@southmikegaming2124]

Thamk you i need to read that last part, moderation never works for me. 1 hour turns into 10 always :(

[@girlygirl1890]

Very wise words. Thank you.

[@BattleClanAreaChaos]

Depends on the gamer. I’m addicted to video games, but it’s a healthy addiction.

[@BattleClanAreaChaos]

@@southmikegaming2124You Must have a really bad case then.

[@galejohnson8086]

Yup! If I play Sudoku on my iPad, I can’t think about what I need to confront

[@labrigful]

She is unable to take accountability for her actions. Once he puts firm boundaries she may just walk.

[@djpuplex]

She's a she so I think you are correct.

[@michaelpalumbo4880]

Best thing to ever happen to this guy.

[@LadyMarigoldWithers]

It’s all very well when John says all these methods to the person who *wants* to deal with the problem, in my experience most people just refuse to address their issues when confronted with an option they don’t like or walk. Also been on the side of being treated as if you were their ‘crazy ex’ instead of a new and entirely different person and that sucks in a lot of ways.

[@snsn7251]

He needs to cut her off from the finances. 2nd either she gets help and take accountability or he needs to leave. He needs to put down firm boundaries. This is a deal breaker.

[@emmacouhig5830]

24 likes on this. Advocating a woman is cut off from finances over $150 dollars a month. Are y’all at Ramsey seeing this? John fucked up on this one, I’m sorry. I know he wants the husband to be able to help her but she’s not a child . And 150 dollars is very average for hobby spending.

[@violetquinn8029]

@@emmacouhig5830 $150 for mobile apps is a problem, and it can easily balloon.

[@scratch57]

burning money is burning years of your life. this is a really maladjusted person who is going to cost anyone she's with in significant ways.

[@beckychristiansen8954]

It’s not about spending money the mobile games, people spend way more on silly stuff to entertain themselves. This is about hiding stuff from her husband.

[@Lcshell]

That was a very helpful way to explain anxiety! Love watching your show and learning how to solve some of my own issues. (Or at least try) might have to be a caller one of these days. Thank you

[@funicon3689]

mobile gaming is literally gambling with extra steps

[@wrath98]

MiHoyo relies on these people for record profits lol

[@kathleencooney1518]

I have anxiety. That doesn’t help. Yoga, breathing & even medicine does help. Spending too much GIVES me worse anxiety.

[@theatrix10]

Just because it doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for others. I have anxiety too and mobile games definitely help me.

[@franziskani]

4:30 What is anxiety (it is an alarm system).

[@Ja50nkAt]

Seems like there was a good reason they broke up the first time, should have kept it that way brother. Pandemic hit, she panicked called him up because he's mister reliable and stable but her feelings still weren't there for him and is now disrespecting him by racking up thousands on silly "anxiety" apps.

[@ericallen371]

This sounds exactly like my ex-wife. Delony is right by saying the root issues go deeper than a minor gaming addiction. Way deeper, all the way back to being adopted.

[@theatrix10]

1:53 Shes not lying and it’s no “bs on a stick” I also have anxiety (and potentially adhd) and playing the simplest of phone games can keep me calm and keep my mind from spiraling into a panic attack. It can also be an escape when having depressive episodes. I don’t lean on games as heavily now that I’m in a better place in life, but they definitely do help. They’re like fidget toys. I have been in her place where I’ve spent anywhere from $5 to $100 in a month. Spending money in this way isn’t a great investment but it’s honestly not the most destructive habit. It’s literally just a video game, traditional gamers spend just as much if not more. I don’t spend as much now, but that’s because if I ever feel myself spending too much money on a game I delete it and move on to the next.

[@arh1234]

It sounds like $1k/yr is a lot for this family. The issue is that the spend is affecting their finances. If you can afford it, great!

[@kndr2094]

This. Lotta judgement in the comments.

[@rebeccashields9626]

Ok yes it calms you but it doesn’t treat the problem. Xanax also calms you but giving someone Xanax all day long isn’t a solution for anxiety. Exposure therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy and exercise and yoga and meditation are treatments for anxiety. Alcohol makes me less anxious it doesn’t my mean it is an appropriate therapy for anxiety.

[@mignonmykel3571]

Yes! She's looking for a dopamine rush, I would not be surprised if she has ADHD or has high-functioning autism. We are often misdiagnosed as simply anxious or depressed, when in reality often they go hand-in-hand with ADHD or autism in women. Which obviously, dr. John can't diagnose. But it sure feels like they are simply slapping a bandaid on it when there are more things at play.

[@theatrix10]

@@rebeccashields9626 I never claimed that gaming treated my anxiety, I said it helped prevent panic attacks. It also gave me a chance to breathe. I’ve been on and off of medication and therapy for 8+ years, so I understand it takes more than self soothing behavior to get better. I think the title of the video, the husband’s admitted financial anxiety, and some of Dr. Johns comments have have shifted the comment section to think the worst of the worst.

[@lot2196]

During covid the government sent out relief checks. That weekend casinos in Ohio reported record profits despite having half the slots machines closed for social distancing. I hate gamblers.

[@gster5113]

My dad's friend had a wife that would spend a ton of money on those online gambling games unfortunately he had terminal cancer and was paying her debt until he was dying in the hospital. She didn't even tell my dad that he passed away until he got a Christmas card from her a few years ago. My dad was so pissed at her for not telling him. I think his friend worked himself to death because of her gambling debts...so sad😢

[@YouSoCute2000]

I was diagnosed with anxiety...if l were to overdraft my accounts THAT would make my anxiety worse! She is making up excuses. Also is she even working? Sounds like she has so much free time.

[@fadumaali5435]

Two sheets to the wind, that made me chuckle 😂

[@jasonmedeiros9492]

RUN 🏃 SHE AINT GOING TO CHANGE!

[@robynjefferson4779]

John is absolutely right.

[@phoebesutcliffe9721]

Hello, When will Building a Non Anxious Life be available internationally? I’m in NZ and would love to get a copy 🙂

[@manifest2203]

The roles are reversed here 🤣 Usually husbands are the ones addicted to video games.

[@bradmiller6507]

If she gives up this addiction, what addiction will she replace it with?

[@GixxerRider1991]

He needs to leave. Marrying this woman is financial suicide.

[@yesterdayseyes]

Disorder = lack of discipline and lack of accountability for having a lack of discipline If you say you have a disorder it's time to GROW UP

[@SEANPOL203]

Nonsense bro, you don’t know what you’re talking about. It is in many case’s but sometimes people develop addictions due to past or present trauma

[@ethan4048]

Damn that sucks anyhow this video is brought to you by Raid Shadow Legends

[@AlphaAchilles]

She sounds like a professional victim. Almost every women claims their ex was abusive. It’s all bullshit

[@lyndaslocs]

Driving never makes me less anxious!

[@loriduffecy9205]

I say run ....and close all joint bank cards...let her use her own money 💰 💰💰

[@claymore9359]

Pay to win games should be illegal

[@kimberlysmith7625]

I was surprised to learn that gaming addiction is described in the DSM-5-TR as a diagnosable mental disorder. The condition is referred to as Internet Gaming Disorder. Get her help. It may be covered by your insurance.

[@Erica-i4o]

"When you look at me, TELL ME?? !! ! ? WHAT DO YOU SEE ?❤🧐🤗💙" -🌪️

[@jacosisaba]

She's on the Raid Showdow Legends grind.

[@frenchmime1972]

Best to leave her gone when they broke up before, you break up for reason, act 2 in most cases is worse

[@tracieosteen5913]

Run. They never change! Spent 11 years in a Marriage with a gamer and he still is. Its s lonely Marriage for anyone dealing with this...Theyre are literally sucked in to a vortex and will defend that game at any cost....Run while you can and don't invest in anymore!!!! Ultimately he ended up on all kinds of anti Depression drugs and is still playing games even after Divorce.... They lose all sense of reality. Its sad...

[@lyndaslocs]

Overspending may also be a sign of Bipolar Disorder.

[@snowdogmula]

I didnt know john delony was into stand up comedy @10:45

[@goose4284]

That is great you had someone to tell you that. Some of us don’t have that person. And never had!!!

[@BHarris25]

“His credit card statement” Problem, solved cut her off.

[@MrBrewman95]

Is mmmkay a common thing in Colorado or just a South Park thing? 😂

[@SnowFoxParty]

Sounds like your wife is addicted to Pokémon GO...like me

[@MrBrewman95]

Go to the polls

[@monaperry2635]

BOUNDARIES

[@ultra91790]

Is it a gacha game? 😅 I've spent a good amount on those too

[@dakotasikes6690]

Never thought I'd hear the day john said someone chose to be In an abusive relationship

[@jesus1stsatan2nd]

I believe it. I know many women and men who know they are being abused and stay. The breadwinners too

[@PriestessHephzibah]

They make the choice.... No one put a gun to thier head 99%of the time

[@motivationalgossipmom1412]

Everybody in an abusive relationship is choosing to stay in that relationship...that is just common sense. When they finally make the choice to leave is when they begin to get away. But they have to CHOOSE to leave like they are CHOOSING to stay.

[@djpuplex]

It's a man so different advice.

[@The-Oneness11]

​@@motivationalgossipmom1412Sometimes the problem is you're afraid of being with this person but even more afraid of what might happen when you get away. The Break-up stage is the most dangerous point for people being abused. Basically have to be very strategic and plan how to get away safely which can take time.

[@the_humble_investor]

I am addicted to Angry Birds. Please help!

[@reneel2441]

Seperate those bank accounts fast!

[@GardenerEarthGuy]

Unequal yoke.... Cut her loose and move on- you made a bad choice during lockdown.

[@NAMDRUMS]

Sheeshhh

[@mhmtakeyatime9000]

Interesting. Usually its the husband with a video game addiction.

[@cocoyeabroom2505]

1000 is not that much lol

[@rodterrell304]

Him calling her “partner “ is a major problem, she is not your partner, she is your wife dude.

[@Guts318]

EJECT, dude! Get out!

[@GlassOdessey025]

If he cancels that card it's going to hit his credit. He needs to take the card away.

[@RJRussoVids]

You knew sir! You knew. But you went back for seconds. 🤦‍♂️

[@JessieCori]

John's comment that he's never spent money on mobile games is totally unhelpful and unnecessary. If a caller complains about their partner's infidelity is John gonna say "I have never been unfaithful"? Absolutely unhelpful.

[@jkneeland89]

This just screams “nice guy.” He needs to get his head out of his rearend and lay down the law with her. Either she straightens up and acts like an adult, or she can pack up her crap and get out. But I think we know he would never have the balls to do that. Maybe he’ll finally get it when he walks in on his wife in bed with Chad.

[@quantum_beeb]

Nooooooooo. Do not ever cancel a credit card.

[@Rob-fn1kp]

get rid of her. or accept that you will lose lots of money due to her throughout your life accept that and be happy... and poor remain ignorant and be unhappy... and poor

[@tamid2225]

Unfortunately that about sums it up. My Dad was married to my Mon for about 40 years. She had a compulsive gambling problem, wasting money, or whatever. My Dad never stood up to her. He’s 75 yo barely making ends meet working at Walmart.

[@Rob-fn1kp]

@@tamid2225 but he went through all of that to hopefully raise a good child............ which hopefully makes him a good day.......................... support your dad in every way possible

[@isay207]

Why did these two get married big mistake😢

[@dakotasikes6690]

Honestly 1000 in a year isn't alot considering they live in Colorado . Go look at people who hunt and fish and go outdoors I guarantee they spend more plus its a year in and ya already talking bad over a radio show just divorce

[@Ryan-wx1bi]

At least with hunting and fishing it's more of a healthy hobby. They get out, move, carry things and get sunlight. Gaming you just sit inside, stare at a screen, hunch over and ruin your posture.

[@beesknees213]

The "amount" isn't the only problem.....

[@stephenpetersen354]

Depends on what your income is. If it's less than a percent of your income then I could see the argument. Developers actually track whale spenders and will make content just for them. 1k wouldn't be in whale territory but it's on the way there.

[@randdomize858]

Found the gamer

[@VeeAlee]

​@@randdomize858😂😅

[@brightpage1020]

Shut. The. Front. Door. Gee whiz.

[@williamjohn8633]

This guy gives me pushover vibes. I can assume that his wife was not over her ex, and was using this as an outlet. This was a rebound relationship

[@janetmorecraft2206]

She has a racqueteer . Take away computer . Have her get therapy or leave .

[@julieludwig8927]

Leave her. She’s toxic. She’s not your wife/partner in life, she’s a selfish child knowing you will pay her foolish habits.

[@cyoohoos]

every story has 3 sides (yours, the other, and Truth).

[@jojojordan5557]

It sounds like he married an Alpha widow. She spent her youth with men who kept her on a leash, and then decided to "settle" with him and now she wants to keep him on a leash.

[@josephalmond3759]

The fact that casinos exist and prosper is proof that gaming provides a valuable service. The same is true about breweries, brothels and convenience stores, Payday loans and religions. If there is harm in anything at all, our elected leaders would put a stop to it.

[@SEANPOL203]

🙄👌🏼

[@thejakelegion]

Hearing him call her his partner over and over makes me really not like this guy.

[@coreylewis8565]

Is this a Christian base show?

[@flashthecorgi2053]

Not really. John is Christian himself but this isn’t a Christian show. It’s just about helping people when the wheels fall of their life!

[@thermalreboot]

He could get charged with financial abuse if he cuts off her credit card.

[@linocalderon1881]

so just let her waste all his money with no consequence ? Its not her money, she doesn't seem to work - what would you do if your daughter wasted all your money and then sues you if you stop supporting her negative habit

[@thermalreboot]

@@linocalderon1881 You clearly have had your head in the sand. Courts will literally consider a husband employing financial control over a wife as abuse, even if the wife is irresponsible with money. It's not my rule jackass, it's a feminist weapon in the courts.

[@fauxbro1983]

Dang bro. U must be blind lol.

[@augustusplays7896]

A $1,000 is nothing Lool

[@emmacouhig5830]

They share finances and John just advocated cutting up one of their ( joint) cards without consulting her to avoid her spending approximately 150 dollars a month. This is financial abuse. Bad take Doc.

[@abigailloar956]

Credit cards are not necessary. He never should have put her on it in the first place. Credit cards destroy lives and so does addiction. Am I financially abusing my husband because I have never put him on my credit card and make him budget with me on our joint account? No. We have been together 11 years and we have lasted that long by recognizing eachothers strengths and weaknesses and using and working through it. My husband was not good with finances but he wanted to be better. It is the only way we could have been where we are. She is using him without apology and is going to destroy his credit and their future. If he stops it and works with her they may have a chance. This is a bad situation SHE is putting him in.

[@BroncosSUCK1980]

1000 a year isn't much at all on mobile games 80 a month

[@Zyrean7007]

🤨 that's highly subjective I suppose. But that is indeed a lot of money forked over in micro interactions. Additionally, he said "so far". 🧐