I Think My Husband Is Cheating on Me

[@SherryEllesson]

At the very least, I hope she does NOT go forward with IVF and having a child. I don't think either of them are ready, nor should a child be brought into this mess.

[@Liveloud4Him]

They may be hers from a previous relationship since they’ve only been married 2 years.

[@shachede6828]

@@Liveloud4Himmore like his kids. Cause why she do IVF if she could have kids. Most likely his kids

[@CrystalM1917]

​​@@shachede6828you can have secondary infertility. My friend had two and then couldn't get pregnant again without help at only 31. But yeah, they don't need to have anymore regardless atleast for now.

[@Liveloud4Him]

@@shachede6828 Good insight! True.

[@AlannahGardener]

​@@Liveloud4HimThey've been together 7 though so they definitely could have kids...

[@katiejon17]

I’ve been a nurse since 2007... the second she said he works in an ER my stomach sank for her. Nurses, and some other staff who work long shifts together - are really prone to these imaginary beliefs of intimacy with their coworkers, simply because of excessive shared time together. I don’t know that I would be able to move forward with this man.

[@lanaw7304]

Loyalty depend on character and morals not the profession

[@katiejon17]

@@lanaw7304 In general, yes. Not every ER staff cheats. But there are certain jobs where cheating is much higher than others, and that is a fact not an opinion. ER staff and correctional officers are but two examples.

[@mollyprysunka7741]

@@katiejon17I work in an insanely small hospital and yeah… there’s only been once but those two made the entire staff complicit in their extramarital affairs, and they turned the floor into a sitcom. Dragged other nurses into it. It was a mess.

[@JudePi-jx7yo]

How is this imaginary? Isn't time together time together?

[@katiejon17]

@@JudePi-jx7yo You really did not comprehend what I said. I never said their time together was “imaginary” 🙄 I said they think their long hours together equals intimacy - and this intimacy is imaginary. It’s like movie stars who do a movie together, and have a passionate fling... only to realize that there intimacy was purely circumstantial and they done messed up. But this probably is going way over your head.

[@andrea6053]

If he’s texting another woman behind your back and lying to you he’s already cheating.

[@fabienfernandarodriguez2556]

Amen

[@isay207]

Drs cheat alot

[@Mmmmkaaay]

Agreed. The whole point of being in a relationship is to have a safe space to create intimacy. And three is a crowd.

[@mollyprysunka7741]

@@isay207what do you mean?

[@brandiebrooks7135]

EXACTLY

[@annstewart8506]

Emotional cheating is a stepping stone to the exit of a relationship. My ex husband of 23 years started this with a woman. I told him to stop and he didn't respect my request. Low and behold he ended up having an affair. All so.predictable. Trust your instincts here caller.

[@michaelallen1154]

@annstewart8506 - how many days per week did you make $e×u@| advances on him? How many periods of time did you go for weeks without advancing on him?

[@JKNat9004]

🙌🙌

[@MJWINNER_Sketchbook999]

Oops I misread he is your EX for a reason then.

[@tatertot80]

I'm so glad he's your ex!

[@annstewart8506]

@tatertot80 Ty. Nobody happier than me!

[@Hlaford2009]

after listening to this woman for 9 minutes, I can say that she desperately wants him to stay, but for him she is just a door mat.

[@stephanie7572]

He is a doctor, he makes good money, are the kids theirs or hers from a previous relationship? I think her conflict is maybe what will happen financially if she splits.

[@MiahV007]

I’ll never understand how someone can go behind someone’s back and COMPLETELY destroy the other persons faith, love, trust, and companionship for the sake of minor temporary entertainment. How hard is commitment these days??

[@natalieelliott1984]

I agree. I don't understand it at all.

[@sarcodonblue2876]

Sadly men always cheated but it had to be tolerated as women had no other options

[@andrew8168]

​​@@SarahConnor562she hit the "fake tears" switch on and off like a professional. They should divorce for both of their sake.

[@Piccolo_Re]

Weak, cowardly people who hate themselves do that. What I don’t understand is why do the people in relationships with these cheaters ignore all the red flags at the start. This stuff just doesn’t happen suddenly. There are always red flags beforehand. It’s a character issue. People have to start paying attention to character during the dating phase.

[@Differentpaths74]

I’ve been married for 25 yrs and I adore and admire my wife. We are doing the therapy thing and trying to bring ourselves back, saying that I can totally understand why the other cheats. I can speak for only myself, loneliness and feeling unwanted by being ignored and rejected opens the door to thinking and perhaps taking action towards cheating. I have not crossed any boundaries but I have seriously considered it. We have had the divorce talks and she asks that we divorce if I was to be with someone else. So what options does that leave for a guy. Cheat - maybe get caught maybe not. If caught divorce. Do nothing - feel resentment and frustration, will end badly Open marriage - she feels resentment and betrayal or he feels resentment because she is giving love to others that he desperately needs for their relationship, this ends badly. For a guy divorces are very unfavourable and ultimately both lose. What both lose is possible parenting time, family home, financial distress/ruin, lose friends, and possibly your life. Suicide for men are at the peak when this kind of thing is happening.

[@aelh123]

Jane, you’re married … and he’s out here LIVING HIS BEST SINGLE LIFE 🍾

[@Erica-wz8yv]

Exactly

[@joelpineda4414]

What single life??

[@theoriginalkrabbypatty]

Facts! He put a ring on it to shut her up.

[@thecramptons]

Exactly

[@banana_hammock7158]

DONT TRUST HIM GIRL....I THINK YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WONDERING IF HES CHEATING..THATS TORTURE

[@DogeUSA]

Shut up

[@Destiny-jf5pb]

As someone who has dealt with a cheating partner multiple times…you never EVER forget how they betrayed you. The relationship will never be the same again. It’s best to just cut ties and move on

[@alluringbliss4165]

Ive been single for a while and infidelity is one of the major reasons I am not eager to be in a relationship

[@RoxiieSays]

She doesn’t want to leave him. If she stays, he’ll just get better at hiding his infidelity and will continue to cheat until she chooses herself and decides to leave him.

[@lyndaslocs]

There's nothing to fix here. You can't trust him. It's painful to realize that your relationship is over, but it's time to end it.

[@bbl2019]

This is so validating that I wasn’t crazy. I was gaslit so bad by my ex husband that I actually ended up gaslighting myself that emotional cheating and texting behind my back was not cheating. He said that the only cheating was physical. So glad to know I’m not crazy after all

[@co9971]

She just needs confirmation that she's making the right decision to leave. End of story.

[@laylarahman11]

This channel is my motivation for staying single

[@nwandoe3599]

lol!

[@Bluesclues-here]

Omg, same here! 😂

[@teresaf4251]

SAME! Never felt so good being single until finding this channel! 😅

[@okaydude2863]

😂😂

[@claudia3539]

😂

[@phyllis9750]

It doesn't matter what he did. It's the turning the locator off that's, the key. WALK!

[@user-semperfifly]

@phyllis9750- Not walk. RUN!

[@xvii-298]

Men and Women like this drive me crazy, they compromise their morals for pleasure. Your wife is going through IVF dude, that's so hard for so many women. My heart breaks for her... Absolutely stomach turning.

[@lisabanks7742]

Lady, you deserve more than this. You can’t wasting time and energy babysitting this unfaithful man. If he wants to cheat, he will find away to cheat-you can’t stop him. You should move on save your heartache and focus on yourself and well being. You’d rather be single than be unhappy.

[@boston312]

Should she take him to the cleaners in divorce court?

[@claudia3539]

@@boston312yes 😂

[@CarolinaHowe-Piper]

This is so true🙌🏻 It’s better to be single, than with someone who lies, cheats and disrespects you …

[@lilystabile3594]

Cheating or not is irrelevant to me- if my husband ever sent my children to a second, undisclosed location and made contact with them or him unavailable, it would automatically make him an unsafe adversary. We would never do that to each other. We both know where the children are 100% of the time. And he would never use his mother to help him lie. This is ridiculous, regardless of the other details of the infidelity.

[@dahliaherrod4301]

Yes! They skipped right over that very salient point

[@debbiel8585]

If she stays with this man, she will never trust him and be happy.

[@samuelzulu9731]

Who told you you have to be married to be happy?

[@DKilgallen]

Jane, I am going through this now. You should give me a call🤣💕 Married 23 years and filed last week. They don’t change. It won’t get better. I’m so sorry. You will not get the answers you are looking for. He will never admit to anyone unless caught red handed. Good luck💖You deserve so much better. He will make you cry again and again and then one day you are 51 with no career. Two kids that think he is infallible. And you see his texts for the first time. Leave now

[@firefly9838]

Do women actually? Care about keeping a ball and chain on a guy? If so, why? I never got the obsession with hoarding one body your whole life. Gotta change it up to keep it interesting.

[@stephanieshupe3985]

Absolutely agree. Gave my ex-husband 20 years of my life. Cheated on me with 3 different women, moved in with a fourth when we separated. You can forgive him left, right, and center, but if he wants to cheat and has gotten away with it before, he will do it again. And turning off a tracker that is always on, just to drink beer and play cards with a woman he's been texting? Forgive that without 100% proof that he's changing and he'll get better at telling lies and having alibis. Listen to this cheated on ex-wife: walk out now.

[@tomnohmy1273]

Feel bad for her. Been there, cheating spouse, it can consume ur life if u allow it. I couldn't move on, possibly repair, some can. For me. Getting a divorce, best thing I did.

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

Jane, your marriage is over. No one is worth this stress.

[@jerusalem4492]

Except maybe the person you chose to start a family with. They have children, it’s worth a shot at least

[@miss.teetee1166]

@@jerusalem4492 Why didn’t he think about his children and what it could cost them before he decided to cheat?

[@ViolinfanaticOriginal]

@jerusalem4492 Yeah, he didn't think about his children when he cheated, so she doesn't have to sit around and suffer further because he decided to have his cake and eat it too. Seems a bit backwards to have her be miserable for the children when she didn't even commit the crime 🤷🏾‍♀️ And, as they say, it's better to divorce than to raise.children in a toxic environment. When a partner willingly puts their partner through pain and anguish and betrayal, that is toxic and.not good for children. Leave.

[@stefaniamalatesta8076]

@@jerusalem4492 He did not think about that when he was sleeping with someone else, why should she suffer for his selfishness?

[@soni05131]

@@jerusalem4492 No, not worth the shot, he cheated and will continue to cheat and make his wife and children suffer. Nope, marriage is over, he lies and cheats....nothing more to discuss.

[@SamanthaLovesHerHusband]

He’s probably got a burner phone to talk to her inappropriately

[@firefly9838]

Or maybe she is reading way more into this than there is. She admitted she found no evidence of cheating and only found evidence of him doing the right thing. So either he has CIA levels of covering his tracks (and lets be honest, most people aren't that good) then she is reading way more into this.

[@megalopolis2015]

That sure doesn't sound like only emotional cheating to me, and it doesn't seem like a one time thing, but a lifestyle. The deception alone is reason enough to suspect the worst, as Dr. John said. It looks like this loser of a soon-to-be ex husband chose a broken home over his family. She should choose counseling, but he's clearly not interested.

[@bernadettehuff2984]

It's really hard to believe that someone you love, married had kids with, would do this to you. But once you do, you now have to face it and decide where you are, can you leave, can you survive? Trust me , you can.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Yeah it literally destroys someone's reality. I loved him so whole heartedly and trusted him 100%. I was so disappointed that I got him wrong.

[@RepentImmediately]

From what I've observed, men tend to marry women who are easy (meaning, those who have low standards or few requirements) or who are considered to be socially acceptable meaning, they marry the kind of women they believe they should be marrying according to what other men or their parents tell them. Rarely, from what I've observed, do men make truly suitable choices when picking a spouse, nor does marriage equal commitment in the minds of many men. I get hit on my married men regularly so, I'm not quite sure why women tend to make such a big deal of "getting the ring." Is a proposal really a compliment? Or is it a guy saying, this is the woman within my range of options who will tolerate the most and expect the least? Or potentially, this is the woman I can partner with and not have to do the hard work of aligning with my authentic self because she checks the boxes whereas partnering with the woman who really gets me and meets my needs will require me to step outside of the status quo and I'm too cowardly to do that?

[@Name-sb1fr]

@@RepentImmediately The men you deal with, I could say the same for women who marry any slum just to be married.

[@jemmajames6719]

I couldn’t financially that’s whyIve been stuck in an abusive marriage

[@angiehernandez7671]

Young lady take the best advise from a very old lady. If you feel he is cheating he is. Move on you deserve better.

[@schokococoa575]

This wasn’t the first time, it was just the first time she found out. His mother may or may not know, but his friends, coworkers and employees know. This is a case of the person who needs to know the most is the last to know. If she truly believes she’d be able to forgive and especially forget, then sure she can stay with him. But it’s already going in circles in her mind right now, I highly doubt tracking and going to counseling would help, given she’s already keeping such close tabs on his stuff and has zero faith in him. I hope she makes the best decision for her and her children’s mental well-being.

[@uscitizen3252]

Agreed

[@seadragon1456]

So true!!! Coworkers and friends keep that secret locked down so they don’t feel the heat. It’s soooooo unfortunate that we can’t hold our fellow humans accountable for their crap. It’s a burden to everyone holding the secret even if they don’t think so.

[@SilverGirlAu]

So sad - similar happened to me and I hung on for 18 mths after HE left me, hoping we could get our relationship back... but I wish I had had better boundaries and told him it was over from my perspective because he crossed the line... I will never tolerate that again and I will make it clear to anyone I date this deception and breaking trust is a dealbreaker... run Jane run!! He is not trustworthy and if it's not her it will be someone else... and you will spend your life wondering...

[@cherylspohr9821]

Do not have more children with your husband!!! Even if you decide to stay.

[@michellesimmons3150]

The marriage is over. He chose someone else and he is depending on your low self esteem to keep trying….he is NOT trying at all!!!!! He is USING his wife for the convince and comfort, he puts himself above you

[@daynashannon9679]

There’s way too much deception going on in this relationship! Even friends are involved. Plus they still work together! How to you mend broken trust when the temptation is still right there in front of you multiple hours a day?

[@uscitizen3252]

Very true!

[@jacquelinemarie9655]

Temptation is everywhere though. The problem is he cheated at all instead of just going to his wife to discuss what he clearly feels is missing from their marriage. IMO The Other Woman could be anyone because she’s playing a role; I can’t imagine he genuinely likes her beyond how she makes him feel.

[@Vbe796]

@@jacquelinemarie9655maybe it’s not an issue he’s having with his wife. He may just like and want attention…from anyone. Sometimes people cheat even when they are in happy marriages.

[@yayyareaa2997]

Yeah, he’s cheating At it may not be with just one woman

[@cindichean]

Leave. My husband did this. I forgave so many times. They don't change.

[@NinjaKiwi12058]

How do men like your ex husband even get married? I can’t even get a text back and never would do this.

[@NinjaKiwi12058]

But women like you marry bad men and the good men are left to metaphorical die it’s comical

[@superscaryrussianbot846]

@@NinjaKiwi12058, it’s because the initial stage of falling in love is both parties fooling themselves and ignoring faults. Questioning whether the person would cheat or not doesn’t even come up on the radar until much later.

[@superscaryrussianbot846]

@@NinjaKiwi12058, I was always categorized as a “provider” by western women because I’m a wealthy good guy. But I was cheated on by women going with the more dangerous option for a sense of adventure. My solution was to marry an eastern woman and we have been happily married for over 8 years.

[@alluringbliss4165]

@@NinjaKiwi12058Cheaters are deceivers and manipulators, they know exactly who to target.

[@JustinCase780]

Funny how the hubbie blames the other chic. 😂 Nice play!

[@Chicky1234-m3f]

They always do😂

[@jet4415]

Gaslighting

[@JustinCase780]

@@jet4415 or, just a full of bullcrap pro

[@respectabletampodcast]

Dear, you need to leave him. This won't get better. He will just find more subtle ways to hide his betrayal. He has shown you time and time again that he has no respect for your marriage. You cannot afford to play robocop with him.

[@susieq8008]

There is No Way on this Earth, would i bring children into this sad marriage. I would have to say "ADIOS"....

[@Judi4Him4Ever]

Same thing (sorta) happened to me. We had family friends and called ourselves “best family”. Went to Disneyland: four parents, four kids. Adjoining rooms so the kids could “play video games”, haha. On the second day, my (now ex-) husband suggested he and the other woman take the two boys for the day, and me and the other guy take the two girls. I wasn’t for it, but they insisted it would be fun. Long story, they took the boys back to the hotel room, let them play video games and had sex in the adjoining room. Months later, when I became suspicious, I WAS THE BAD GUY for my suspicion and “ruining our friendship”. Total TOTAL gaslighting. Shortly after, they quit playing games and my (ex) moved in with her after her husband also figured it out and left. SMH

[@ashleenicole71]

My reply would have been absolutely not and me and my husband would have fought.... ..or my reply would be...ok husbands go together then...

[@whiskersredwood]

So are they still together???

[@firefly9838]

You should've slept with the guy as revenge on her🤣

[@Mona14807]

disgusting behaviour of this type of cheating🤮

[@devadii24]

I have heard of a few of these joint vacation trips that end in the spouses cheating…. I only travel with relatives…. call me paranoid but I know of too many….friends, sports coaches, even people from the same church! Cheaters use these as opportunities to hook up with their desired person….

[@Theescapist_87]

Hes still cheating. This is why married men and women should not have friends of the opposite sex. Even if it started out innocent, its an easy slippery slope into becoming an emotional, and usually, a physical affair.

[@GixxerRider1991]

That's ridiculous. Some people have known friends of the opposite sex for decades before getting married and nothing ever happens.

[@firefly9838]

@@GixxerRider1991 yeah these comments are ridiculous. She admitted to finding no real evidence of cheating and when searching found two times he maintained healthy boundaries with co-workers. Thats not something someone totally checked out of a relationship, sleeping around, would do. All she know for sure is that she thinks he lied about something but even then has no evidence.

[@caligirllala1267]

@@firefly9838but he’s hiding something obviously because he turned his phone off for gods sake when he and this girl were in the car together for who knows how long????? He’s in the wrong here cus he just destroyed their trust as a married couple.😢

[@Ashbrash1998]

By that logic ot should work for any friendships eith the same sex as well.

[@mailmebaby555]

I have a group of friends since high school and a bit after college more joined in. There are both straight and gay men but most are women. We meet as a group. Otherwise it's just the girls.

[@ericae4419]

Jane, trust your intuition….your gut. It’s difficult, at best, to work through infidelity and build trust again. Very difficult to not wonder, question, deny your feelings of doubt and so forth. It would be far easier to put forth that energy into a separation or divorce and hopefully building a new loving and trusting relationship some day with a new partner. I wish you well.

[@annaelisavettavonnedozza9607]

If you want to act like you’re single, you can be single. He doesn’t want the life he’s in so find someone that does

[@kcourtney6826]

As someone who’s been through 2 cycles of IVF and the stress that comes with it, do not have more children with this person. It takes two to have an affair, and he was a participating party.

[@JozelleRenia]

I loveeee this episode! Dr. John hit it on the head & told her straight up what it was. No one has times for games, my hearts breaks for this caller. She wants her marriage to work but it’s evident that her husband doesn’t. We need to hear this kind of honesty!🔥🙌🏽

[@jenniferriester3159]

My wife continued to talk to a woman when she told me it ended. She also made jokes with this other woman about how I felt, when I said their relationship makes me uncomfortable. I ended the marriage, and she still doesn't think she did anything wrong.

[@Mona14807]

I enjoy listening to this show. I am learning a lot about life and relationships and how to proceed going forward and not make the same mistakes again.

[@jasminebaby3375]

I heard you saying while going through IVF. Please do not have any more children in with him. I have a feeling that he is going to cheat on you again. Proceed with caution. Good luck!

[@ViolinfanaticOriginal]

Doctor, your show is becoming a testimonial for choosing "single for life" status.😂😂😂

[@racheltarentino3314]

😂fr

[@ilykepink]

She’s so desperate. Just leave him

[@debbielockhart7762]

Why? It's her life.

[@Mmmmkaaay]

Seriously. Rip the band-aid. 6 months from now she'll be engaged to her dream man.

[@thisis.michelletorres444]

She was trying hard not to hear the truth! I'd be like, you need to get out, you need to move, ASAP! She's making excuses and pseudo defending him. YES, CALL IT QUITS, HE'S SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE ELSE LADY! The cheating is actually less of a problem than the dishonesty, the crappy character and elaborate ruses he concocts and his complete lack of accountability!

[@lisap3628]

Get a boyfriend!

[@sydizzle5212]

I don’t even think his friend was there with him.

[@AmandaErrrrr]

You deserve better than to wonder every time he strays from routine. You deserve to be someones number one choice. Go where you are celebrated, not simply tolerated.

[@littlelam3691]

Taylor swift “Tolerate it”

[@brightpage1020]

Listening with a friend. She is in tears - says she wishes she had advice this clear a couple years ago when she went through this. Thanks, Caller, for being so brave, and Dr. D. For clarifying things for somebody who might have lost herself in the fog of deception. Hope this lady’s family works out in a way that supports her needs, no matter what that might look like in her case. Hope their kid(s) heal from this schism quickly and completely as possible. Heal from his delusion that his lies pass the sniff test. Hope he gets honest at least with himself.

[@hillarybillary21]

As soon as she said 5 years together before marriage I already knew this guy didn’t want to be married to her.

[@amarie6223]

Driving around with his female coworker and his location turned off? Oh no!

[@larissagonzales6075]

In this day and age, its amazing anyone is faithful at all with social media. You can have so many virtual relationships, there are meet-up apps it's crazy.

[@TheLuckyQui]

People need to understand that no marriage is indestructible, he should’ve set boundaries with that woman early on, and this wouldn’t have happened. Pathetic of him to cheat on his wife while she is trying to conceive a child!!

[@kayn2756]

Girl, your husband sounds like a habitual cheater. It's only a matter of time before you catch him. You can stay and try to fix it or walk away and be a single mom divorcee

[@greenAbbot]

I really have to know: are there EVER situations where phone-tracking “for a season” leads to a better place? Because it seems to me like when you get to that point, either you are paranoid or your spouse is so untrustworthy that there are a thousand ways they can get around whatever electronic solutions to your relationship you can devise.

[@stealthswim223]

I share location with my wife. I’m not doing anything shady so it doesn’t matter.

[@alluringbliss4165]

From my perspective, it’s torture. Time to let go.

[@NM-kl9ws]

My spouse and I share location with each other, as well as me and my brother in another city. It’s for safety that we do it. If they are in a bad enough car accident, I don’t expect them to call me first if they can call anyone at all. This way we can get in contact with whomever to make sure they are okay. Also shared location with a friend who said they were going to do some shady stuff one night. I told them that if they were in a hospital or the middle of nowhere, I’d come get them. I woke up at 4 am to pee and saw they were, in fact, in a hospital. I thought it was a joke so I called them and ultimately went and got them from the ER. TLDR; some people don’t use it exclusively to track people they don’t trust. It has safety benefits for more than just your children.

[@JKNat9004]

​@@SarahConnor562It's amazing how weak even a strong person can become when someone breaks their heart and trust.

[@greenAbbot]

@@stealthswim223 I also shared my location with my wife for convenience and fun. I wasn’t questioning that policy in general; I was just saying that it could never be a real solution when trust had been broken. You need to earn that trust back through your daily actions, not by being put in a sufficiently tight cage.

[@Yenya787]

I have a feeling she’s not going anywhere and she’s going to continue demonizing the other women while her precious husband continues galavanting around town. She is going in circles.

[@ericabrewer9220]

She can do all those things to his phone, but he can just get a new one to do all his shady stuff.

[@BladDaddy]

It’s all fun and games until you get caught. It is what it is.

[@Emptytopfloor]

You always get caught.

[@budgiebirdy]

He's a cheating loser and liar. You could cut your losses now (which you should), or continue to be miserable and disrespected for a few years before cutting your losses later.

[@britneycollius]

We need some update episodes!!!

[@amyalvar]

I feel for this woman but I would've kicked him to the curve. We don't have time for this BS. Plenty of people out there or just by yourself. Peace of mind is everything.

[@alluringbliss4165]

Peace is better, I have seen how sticking around has slowly destroyed some women.

[@fh1980ram]

"Plenty of people"😂 sure if all you want is an std.

[@valeriezaric]

It sounds like she wanted a baby though :(

[@l-train7876]

*curb

[@Dark_Souls_3]

The phrase is “kicked to the curb” like how you would kick this guy to the curb of the street

[@bjkarana]

That's cheating behavior in my book and you deserve a lot better. If it were my wife in your shoes, I'm almost positive she'd serve me divorce papers and give me exactly what I _thought_ I wanted: unrestricted time with the new woman. And I also guarantee the new relationship would implode because it's built on a foundation of adultery, lies, and fantasy. She won't be the exciting "other woman", and he won't be the forbidden fruit. The novelty and thrill of sneaking around are removed. The pawning off of your kids to your in-laws situation is especially scummy; they're his effing _children!_ I had that happen in my own life as a kid and do NOT tolerate that for a minute.

[@janetb2217]

I say leave, but that’s easy for me to say from where I sit. But I’ve lived your life and trust me…you will never trust him again!!

[@69429boss]

I swear if you want your relationship to last these days you both gotta swap phones permanently or throw them in the bin

[@Leaveitalone1382]

I’ve never once looked at my husbands phone. Never once.

[@firefly9838]

I have never looked at my wife's phone once. If she wants to cheat, she can cheat. I'm not going to stop her. Her actions will show me whether she cares about us or not, its really that simple.

[@macaylarobinson22]

What I typically get is “why are you going through my phone?” “I told you not to go through my phone” I’m so defeated and heartbroken.

[@cess4089]

For me healing would be he quits his job and gets a new phone number. We move if we have to and start over.

[@sailorsallyrockinrarity2130]

It's the fact that he has never come clean about the events in December for me. There is no way to move on without addressing that completely. I'd also be willing to bet that he is throwing his own employees under the bus by asking them to send dirty pictures and then reporting those women for doing what he wanted.

[@theoriginalkrabbypatty]

So he was with you for five years, finally proposed (probably just to shut you up), now that he doesn’t have to hear you complain, he can do whatever he wants because you go what YOU wanted. It’s not going to get better, he knows you won’t leave because you didn’t place any boundaries when he dragged his feet to propose!

[@Jade7159-]

They were together for 7 married for a little over two. They might have lived together first. That usually ruins everything. He doesn’t respect her. She’s going through IVF and he’s apparently planting seeds in someone else. She should find someone worthy to share her life with her.

[@Pt-11]

Trust in any relationship is like glass, break it and it will never be the same. Can you live with that? Also, girl.. get you some better friendships. Please.

[@djpuplex]

66% of tinder users are in a relationship half of those are married. The vows mean nothing nowadays. Do not marry. Forever isn't forever nearly half the time.

[@kamarwashington]

Unless of course you find yourself in the 34%. Good women still exist. Don’t give up. Perhaps look in better places: a church, coffee shop; not a bar or club lol

[@djpuplex]

@@wordsalad01 Many people hide the fact. They have tinder.

[@semosancus5506]

The institution of marriage is awesome if you choose wisely and know how to manage a relationship.

[@Emptytopfloor]

What % of the users are males? And what % of that 66% are females?

[@djpuplex]

@@Emptytopfloor My guess alot of women they get the most attention.

[@JustinCase780]

It all starts with dodgeball. Seriously, the guy is living a second life with chics and she's driving him nuts. Some women like this put up with it and the game continues forever

[@boston312]

Life is too short to be tied to one partner for the rest of your life. Let the man live his life

[@JustinCase780]

@@boston312 🤣

[@ViolinfanaticOriginal]

@@boston312 then be upfront and honest and live your life true to yourself (polyamory, open relationships, singleness). Don't present a false story and convince a monogamous person to be with you and fall madly in love with you when you know you won't be able to actually participate in monogamy. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Instead, he's out here exposing his unaware wife to possible disease and violence (yes, partners and misters/mistresses have murdered or even annihilated their whole families to be together) rather than being honest. It's terrible.

[@JustinCase780]

@@ViolinfanaticOriginal Big time! Time to tune into Discovery ID! 🍿

[@mistermanman]

Therapy and counseling doesn't stop a cheater from being a cheater.

[@joelpineda4414]

What’s a cheater

[@Keeks492]

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@brightpage1020]

Omg how common is this - like now and lately - is there an increase of this behavior in the last 3 years?

[@elisee9935]

Social media gives couples the false illusion of an abundance of choice. Can't think about cheating if you're not exposed to hundreds of potential partners everyday.

[@brightpage1020]

@@elisee9935 exactly - I'm wondering if there are any hard stats from like 25 years ago (Netscape, anyone? International chat rooms...), 10 - 15 years ago and in the last 3 since Covid. Anyone?

[@blueseptember2174]

​@@elisee9935I agree. Social media has basically become men's new p@rn. It's gross.

[@cairas.6142]

You can tell Dr. John doesn’t have patience for the obvious bull that ppl refuse to accept. Like you don’t need a professional to tell you your husband’s cheating. It’s more productive to ask, how do I move forward?

[@srijanashrestha9457]

He is already cheating to you .Breaking your trust, insulting ur love respect. Can't be trusted again

[@marge3157]

I get it. I have been there. Draw a line, make a plan and stick to it.

[@Nah-ah]

Cancel the IVF!

[@jasmineosinski521]

I don't agree. This kind of betrayal can never be completely fixed. Maybe you tell the outside world you feel fine, but deep down inside, you'll be wondering if it will happen again. The bitterness will keep brewing under the surface and will erupt at some point. Just start over before it escalates to violence.

[@thatsawrap8]

Call it quits. You deserve better 💯

[@arielevenson3108]

No you don’t just leave

[@jahleajahlou8588]

In December I asked him point blank and got gaslighted. End of January I find out he was named in a S/A harassment lawsuit at work, he is the boss. The case settling out of court $$$ (his company bailed him out to save attorney/court fees). When I asked he asked me to leave, no discussion, no explanation, NONE. Breaking our engagement (I had known him 30 years !). BYE. PS. He is completely impotent. He was taking viagra and going to work.

[@Jimjam482]

Sounds like a old porn addict that’s now got nothing left and it’s broken abused. Good thing you left

[@deborahjackson6108]

Come on lady, he turned off his location!! Wake the blank up!!

[@mst-pierrem5729]

Aww I feel for her... She might be pregnant on top of that! So sorry for you.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

Anything can go too far too fast if you don't entertain it or stop it right away.

[@Meggiebeth19]

Take the children and run. He is a liar. Be thankful you did not get pregnant while seeking infertility treatment. You deserve so much better. You are strong, intelligent and capable.

[@shehnazahmad5213]

Watching from Johannesburg South Africa 🇿🇦

[@kylehackett162]

How did this deceitful behavior not show prior to the marriage? It did, but it was swept under the rug.

[@ibabymomx3]

💯💯💯

[@jhonilocran6077]

Lets stop saying emotional affair- its just an affair

[@ServantOfYHWH]

Deloney, I wish you would let people finish their whole entire story even if it takes a super long time. We want to hear all the details.

[@holliejane3605]

SO MUCH THIS

[@patriciat5323]

What? John Dalony let her speak throughout the whole thing also asked how he can help her! What more do you want from him. Seriously

[@klickingkayasmr7585]

@@patriciat5323Yeah, exactly. And some callers go silent, stumble over words or repeat themselves. That wastes time..

[@hillaryh.5197]

Dating for 5 years married for 2 tells me everything I need to know.

[@Red-rose-garden]

Professional men like that are a magnet for young women and young women don’t care! They are drawn to the power…especially in a work environment…the ego is powerful when it comes to being attractive to the women in our current society. How do you fight that?

[@j0epark1]

Just get a dog people. They don't know anything but loyalty.

[@leoniea138]

Uhu Works well

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Get a dog and a good D*ldo. No man required.

[@ViolinfanaticOriginal]

@SarahG16925 never had a dog bite me. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Never had a dog bite any of my family members or friends. But in that group, almost all of them have stories of being cheated ok, raped, abused, molested as children, etc... Humans are riskier business.

[@ViolinfanaticOriginal]

@SarahG16925 true. That said, I can see in each experience you told where those incidences could have prevented with better owners, more socializing with children, and training. Preventing dog bites is not rocket science, but most people adopt without taking the extra measures to socialize, train, and learn dog behavior so you know when to respect their boundaries (especially human children). There are only some instances where a dog may have a mental illness or some other issue that leads to "unpredictable" behavior. That is so far and few between. It's usually preventable -- if you put in the time and money. Human behavior is way more complex. You can't "train" your friend or partner. You can't take preventable steps to ensure they always love you and treat you right. Sometimes people have inner demons for which others will never know about or understand that will cause them to one day blindside you and do the unthinkable. I can't say that for a dog. Also, many people take being molested and raped to their grave, afraid to speak up about it or cause rift in their family or friend circle. Definitely don't wish anything bad on you or anyone's family, but stats say you more than likely know someone who has had those experiences; they just haven't told anyone.

[@ViolinfanaticOriginal]

@SarahG16925 not at all. Human behavior is way more complex. You can't "train" a person who exhibits psychopathic or antisocial personality disorder traits from age 3, for example. Also, human trauma is not contained to parents. A child could have a wonderful life and then go to high-school, be bullied so severely that they end up taking drugs, committing suicide, or going down a path of criminal activity. Parents may try their very best to protect a child, but there's a whole world out there. Dogs, scientifically, have less complex behavioral indicators. The dogs were wonderful. But they can't communicate like us. They are forces to swallow a lot of their species behaviors to conform to a human world. So, it makes sense that biting and sometimes even aggression is the only way for them to express their boundaries or discontent. We can't say the same for humans. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@lindalife4617]

Jane I'm sorry but you know it's time to leave, he's been sleeping around and will continue . He has checked out on you.

[@quantum_beeb]

This is why if you want to f around, always be 💯 with your partner.

[@AshleyLebedev]

HE LACKS CHARACTER. Because of that, eventually itll happen again.

[@BrendaKnoll]

You are so kind Delony because she really wanted permission to believe this guys garbage. Such a bummer

[@gosplesongs8153]

Hi Jane..... 😢 it's complicated. It's sad. Dr John is totally correct. Unfortunately your husband set the stage.. and girl, if you don't clamp down now... you'll be a very unstable, unhappy wife and mommy. Let me tell you my husband and I have been married for almost 46 years, after multiple "injuries" in our relationship...and the loss of a child..businesses..etc. If you are not prepared to really, really REALLY let go of the past because once, twice, three times?.. I held on... (If I knew then, what I know now.... I probably should gave left for my sake and my kids)... you feel you will never make it on your own??? Well, I committed to this marriage, and here we are. It can possibly work. I really don't wan't to place distrust back in your heart... but lying can come so easily. Marraiges and commitment just don't matter to many couples, and when there is temptation, girl... YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO WALK AWAY!.. and very importantly what Dr John said: you play alllllll the scenarios in your mind. You're constantly overthinking, wondering...DONT DO THAT! If you choose to go on... then move on. I would also suggest what Sherry said, you should'nt carry on with IVF. Not now. Your marraige is unstable. Serious. You are still in the raw stages and should you fall pregnant, that little baby will have part of your instabilities, they hear fighting, music - oh yes! God is amazing!.... and what He did for me and our marraige (restoration) He can do for you too. ...but it's not an easy road.... I trust that you will make the right decision for yourself and your children. I can't tell you to be strong - because it's hard - I've been there ❤

[@sweet10ed]

Her husband needs to get a different job ASAP. The fact that him and that woman are still working together... Jane will never have peace of mind.