I’m Struggling With Suicidal Thoughts (What Should I Do?)

I’m Struggling With Suicidal Thoughts (What Should I Do?)
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 or email www.johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
Suicide Prevention Hotline: [phone]
Get John’s new book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future here: bit.ly/3Lmf076
Get a money plan for real life! Start your free trial of Ramsey+: bit.ly/2JcSe6H
Learn how to change your thoughts, change your behaviors, and change your life. Subscribe to the Dr. John Delony’s show!
kzbin.info?...
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( JohnDelony/).
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show.
If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Network (Subscribe Now!)
• The Ramsey Show (Highlights):
kzbin.info...
• The Ramsey Show (Full Episodes): kzbin.info...
• The Dr. John Delony Show: kzbin.info?...
• The Rachel Cruze Show: kzbin.info...
• The Table with Anthony ONeal: kzbin.info...
• The Ken Coleman Show: kzbin.info...
• The Christy Wright Show: kzbin.info...
• EntreLeadership: kzbin.info...

[@scratchaboobear]

Ocd is obsessive intrusive thoughts and images. I was diagnosed with it. It’s a very rough and scary subject to talk about and this episode made me cry because I’ve been struggling with it since I was 18 years old, I’m now 39. I hope she finds peace with it soon and doesn’t struggle with it as long as I have.

[@TrackProbe]

I am scared of living and scared of dying. Trying to find courage for now.

[@Feber2001]

?

[@michaelnavarro9833]

I don't know how to live

[@infiniteluv5589]

I thought I was the only 1 having a weird quick thought like that.....but would never do it. I wish her well.

[@1CJ6]

Me too. I just thought I was having a dumb moment.

[@73cidalia]

Intrusive thoughts are very common.

[@HammsterMusic]

Its called "ideation"

[@MabelRD08]

That happens to me almost daily. I'm glad this is being talked about openly. P.S: I love her realness and how articulate she is expressing her ideas.

[@dnt_vtepedr]

One of my childhood friends died by suicide two weeks ago, 30 days after her 16 year old daughter died by suicide. I'm here because I'm trying to make sense of it.

[@stellarocquie7957]

Sounds like Daisy and Melinda Coleman. RIP to all of them.

[@daniellelandau7762]

So sorry

[@bethl]

I'm deeply sorry

[@donnafontaine2799]

Such a tragedy for you and all of their family and friends 👪 trying to cope with this I have had 2 people In my family die from suicide ..life is hard..be kind to one another never know what other person is going through ..and I want to say pray for peace for each other !

[@Matt-cr4vv]

Oh my goodness that is beyond horrible. Suicide is such a sad thing because so often we genuinely do not understand why it’s happened and are often left without any answers.

[@Matt-cr4vv]

I really appreciate how John makes tough or traditionally taboo subjects something people can openly talk about because so much good comes from being able to show that these things often are normal among many people and don’t make you crazy. And that’s such a helpful thing for people to help them learn they aren’t insane and shows them there’s hope they may not otherwise think exists.

[@joanntebo2835]

When she said her daughter might deserve better ... Oh my heart ... I felt myself thinking, "So do you, her mom! So do YOU!" Praying she follows up for the sake of the wonderful life she has ahead.

[@chrislim7976]

As someone that has dealt with loved ones that have sexual abuse and suicidal issues this is an absolutely great call and response from Delony.

[@lithiumike]

There are some really terrific therapists out there. I am very thankful for the professionals that crossed my paths after an abusive relationship. They really helped.

[@steelearmstrong9616]

This is actually quite normal for most people to feel suicidal and death everyday. Being human is mental health

[@hansonallie]

One thing I can really relate to here (among others) is the difficulty in finding the right therapist; I’ve big time struggled w/ that!

[@maximwilson1482]

Same.. I've come to the conclusion that the online services (ie the inexpensive online therapy platforms) are not worth it.

[@KittyKatt69]

Yea, the last therapist I was assigned was young and didn’t even care. She was there for a paycheck and I shutdown and Neva went back. Before that, they tried to assign me pills for psychotic individuals that I would Neva take and got tired of lying every week telling them I was taking it

[@VioletEmerald]

​@maximwilson1482 Better Help's two or 3 i tried was the worst of all 10 or 11 therapists I've tried. They really run the dammit. Only like 3 of the 11 ish I've seen were really good. But they were indeed really good and I'm very grateful for them.

[@foodlover8078]

I experience the same. But I think is more when I’m sad, or depressed. I talk myself out of it. Like shake it off! Don’t think about those things, you’re not that kind of person. That’s what I say to myself

[@maximwilson1482]

God, I heard the pain in her voice when she mentioned her grandfather, then her parents... more concerned with saving face then protecting their own daughter. I pray she overcomes these demons.

[@therealsilens]

Some powerful stuff here but a great episode. I'm not sure words can describe the power of the work that Delony and those like him do everyday.

[@ComedyPodcastPatrol]

I also have random thoughts like this. I think it’s more common than people think. It’s good to know that it’s all in our head and the reality is you don’t want to actually harm yourself. Although it is crazy where the mind chooses to wander. Very courageous to open up like this!

[@callmecordelia7181]

Glad to hear this talked out. Having been abused and feeling like a burden has led me to these thoughts before. Thankful for my relationship with God and my pastor and some older godly ladies that helped me through it. So glad we don’t have to be afraid to talk about this.

[@gdaygday1209]

Crazy i am here listening to this tonight..........So much can be said but here i sit in silence

[@dportal844]

I love Dr. John man. He is so thoughtful.

[@deborahd2936]

Learned a lot about myself through her story. Thanks for the transparency!

[@bllackwing]

Brave girl, Victoria. I am on that same ride. I hope for all the best for you.

[@daniellehoffman1672]

Thank you so much for this. I needed to hear it

[@pattyajones]

I totally GET where she is coming from. Victoria, you are my hero girl.

[@Meemee-mo5it]

Wow! Incredible job Dr. John!

[@tsmith1280]

Thank you Dr John you are amazing.

[@evvie01]

Thank you Victoria, this conversation could have been me as far as the family abuse goes, but there is much more. Unfortunately I did not get the right help as I got older, a few husbands and no children later I am alone and still struggling, but making progress. Tons of baggage, I do have someone to talk to and her listening has made all the difference over the last two years. I am in my 60's and though I have the thoughts, (which started around first or second grade) I could not burden the people I love with guilt, I can't make them feel like they may have had a hand in my decision.

[@MarieBender-np6vc]

Aww big hugs for a brave mama. How many new moms struggle & don't make this call but needed it. That holding the knife thing brought memories from my 1st pregnancy 24yrs ago. Never told anybody never got help would have been nice to not suffer so much so long alone if it was just talked about more.

[@darekgwozdz]

"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." - II Corinthians 10:5

[@Caprivlogs]

Enough with the scripture. Totally inappropriate

[@Deee_TV]

Thanks for this.

[@Deee_TV]

@@Caprivlogs very appropriate actually.

[@TomiaMacQueen]

Totally appropriate and applicable if you understand the scripture.

[@alexcajiao7489]

Exactly! You need to renew your mind. And that is by the Word of GOD and by faith in the living word (Jesus).

[@oliviaacosta6239]

Victoria I really hope you get help. You are worth it.

[@christinab.2864]

I don’t think she has depression for thinking these thoughts it’s more anxiety. I have the exact problem.

[@shachede6828]

she is beyond those! she is suicidal. it has escalated, anxiety doesn't make you want to stab yourself. depression causes that

[@jones2277]

@@shachede6828 agreed. she's suicidal but deep in denial about it. i hope she gets better. she seems like a good person.

[@lynnhopkins6949]

Healings strength through the Lord Jesus Christ for this young lady! Rebuking evil thoughts ideas from this young lady to be safe a Loving wife mother! Safety throughout her Life through the Lord Jesus Christ!

[@vickiegray3571]

Powerful ! Thankyou John Delony

[@jansilloway325]

I needed to hear this.

[@kylemedeiros6907]

AWESOME CONVO

[@razmiddle9410]

The caller got some great advice, I hope she really does follow up on it!

[@ameenahsf]

Yup I've had these type of thoughts and just as casually. Keeps life interesting to say the least lol

[@nathansimpson5721]

Wow. I didn't know other people experienced this as well.

[@StarzMiercolesGomez]

I have these thoughts everyday! I fight it though telling myself it’s selfish. But this world really does suck and I would love to go.. 😢

[@patriciaegan7244]

I just started listening, from my understanding about suicide it’s done immediately. BTW, don’t choose that! You have so much to share with others. My interest now is more about choosing dignity in dying by choice. But that needs to be fully understood by those who are choosing to do this. Some are in extremely hard times, and sometimes what hurts me, I remember what other people are going through.

[@Agaettis]

I love how she describes it, ive experienced this since i was a child and thought it was normal. Its been very scary sometimes....especially when i have to stop walking down the stairs because my brain imagines me throwing myself down the stairs

[@Lon1001]

Escape fantasies are a coping mechanism for depression which also feedback and fuel more depression. Depression is more a symptom of not being able to function healthily in a toxic society. The only cure is to experience personal growth in an upwards direction but the way to achieve it is not what the storybook tells you, having dreams and goals only takes the wind out of the sale when it feels like they are futile and impossible or too far away. Seeking therapy might work for some people, but only of they identify and steer towards the root cause for the individual, which is unfulfilled needs (be they socially, financially, sexually, professionally, creatively etc). Trauma certainly is a big obstacle but it's only insurmountable as we make it in our own psyche.

[@kris2455]

I thought that too...but now I have all I ever wanted and it changed nothing about how I feel inside

[@foggycraw6758]

Practice gratitude? ​@@kris2455

[@user-sh5sc2zv7w]

You are not the only one!

[@VioletEmerald]

Ooo Dr. Thomas Joiner is his favorite suicide researcher and after a close friend of mine perpetrated a murder-suicide, killing his wife and then himself, Thomas Joiner became my favorite one too! His book on understanding murder-suicide was so helpful and brilliant. Seriously. It helped me move past the trauma i was stuck it. Past the confusion and guilt and shame over platonically loving this man who ended up committing such an evil act.

[@patriciacole8773]

I must share that I believe three things on this topic. We have an enemy of souls. And a ready Savior. That’s one. Two is the enemy of souls tries this on all of us. Three, these thoughts injure the melancholy character type more readily.

[@themarkus6472]

one good man in the world gives me hope to go on

[@junebyrne4491]

I got through it by telling myself that I can’t today. But if I feel awful tomorrow, I can revisit that.

[@melb2734]

Learning TIP skills helped me. It's one way to bring down emotional arousal when you're having a bad night. (Though I recommend talking with a doctor before trying some of the skills if you have a heart condition or are on beta blockers). Now Matters Now has some good videos on this. It's also a good idea to remove lethal means and create a safety plan.

[@itsonlyatail]

I have always had those thoughts since I was a kid.., I have attempted 3 times, then I am even more down on myself because I failed. But the thoughts go on and on. I have depression, anxiety and was diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago. This makes me angry because my life makes my life make so much sense now and if I would have been treated, my life could have so much better and I could have been a better mother. I dealt with emotional neglect as a child and my best friend of 46 years died of pancreatic cancer and my brother, that I was close to died the year after. I have no friends because I feel I don’t fit in anywhere. I am married, 49 years but when I talk to him, he wants to fix it and that doesn’t help at all. I do take medication and see a therapist… but the feels never goes away.

[@kita3256]

Please follow up with her. This is what I go through.

[@Tofushoots]

Many people have thoughts like this. It’s commonly known as “the void” there is a psychological term for it but can’t think of it right now. It’s like standing on a roof and feeling the urge to jump even when you don’t want to. You don’t want to do any of these things but the curiosity is so strong you actually stop and consider it a moment.

[@MrBungle900]

These are called intrusive thoughts. It’s a part of anxiety related to OCD. May also be connected to the Freudian Death Drive if you wish to look at this from a psychodynamic perspective. Hope this helps.

[@jasonrodgers9063]

In the past, I've been perched on that crumbling precipice overlooking the abyss, seeing no way forward. I was saved by the love and support of my Dear (late) Wife, and my two wonderful brothers. I am greatly blessed.

[@skidrat55]

That first line is amazingly well written. That's a great way to describe it. Sorry for the loss of your wife. Hope you are doing well

[@pinkcloud5046]

I think it's normal to have flashes of suicidal thoughts in a world like this. People that act like everything is peaches and pie are the ones we need to worry about.

[@davidmilhouscarter8198]

Dang, I feel the same way as that caller.

[@JJJJ-he8bz]

My suicidal thoughts are not anyone else problems but my own id never tell either it creates to much stress for the other person. If I get beat I get beat. I like to think of it as man to man coverage with no safety help.

[@shaniquejoe5108]

Fleeting thoughts I have those way too often

[@michaellemmen]

I tell pretty much everyone i meet my life story my boundaries are so messed up but I really don't know how to change its like when my mouth opens BAM you know everything about me. I don't know how else to communicate.

[@davidwinter2096]

IFS Therapy is great for this.....

[@ssp287]

Honestly I think this way sometimes too.

[@rikicakecreations1615]

Covid19 also changed me I feel unsure and confused 😕 a lot of the time I had covid19 in june 2021, 4mo ago

[@joslinnick]

Maybe I have a problem, too. I have literally thought the same things my entire life. "What if I just turned the wheel of my car and got into a head-on collision with the car going the opposite direction?" "What if I jumped off of this cliff right now?" I always assumed that these thoughts were totally normal.

[@Calgarysrealtor]

Not abnormal as he said, just not normal

[@oliae2898]

I have these too.

[@VioletEmerald]

Sometimes the intrusive thoughts are more like a form of OCD or anxiety, a huge fear of death. But no, I don't think about those things when I'm driving. I've never had most of these thoughts but I do feel scared about how dangerous certain things are very occasionally. It's not "what if I stabbed myself" level stuff though. It's not turning into oncoming traffic but it's being impressed horrific accidents don't happen even more often.

[@soarhighyandow9109]

We all have two wolves within us we can feed. We have a nice, good wolf and bad, mean wolf. We can choose to feed one or the other. Not literally wolves within us, but figuratively.

[@thedude9082]

The dangerous wolf is our shadow side. Good people learn to control that dog. Just thoughts from Carl Jung about the shadow.

[@epsilona7472]

Watch the Bluey episode - Baby Race, it's a great episode to show that as parents we focus on how inadequate we are, as our children se us as their whole wide world and we're missing it.

[@evearcana2392]

For the caller and all other thinking the same thoughts - please look into Neurofeedback therapy for these looping reoccurring suicidal thoughts. It saved my life and I know it can do the same for you! 💖

[@Anangelfromabove]

I’d say 98 percent of our come from childhood. A lot of it does! Not sure exact amounts but it is a thing!

[@Feber2001]

This could be an amalgamation of true suicidal ideation and/or OCD.

[@barbarabermingham9385]

Therapy!!!!!!

[@MarkK01]

Man this is deep. My mom, sister brothers and myself were abused by my father growing up. My father had a revolver and he threatened to use it on us. Social Services removed us from the house 2 times for the abuse. I am 54 now but have struggled with that all my life. I do have 2 kids and am proud to say that I raised my kids differently and never touched them out of anger. I did not want them growing up like I did. My wife came from a really happy family so she never understood how I grew up. I have been a work alcoholic all my life so my wife could stay home with the kids. I have missed a lot of things with my kids growing up so they could have a good life. My son has a issue with that and really resents me. My kids are now adults still living at home with us. In 2013 I was involved in a bad work accident that has required 3 surgeries to date and I still need to go for another. This accident has left me on permanent disability. Now that I am unable to work my life has been rough. My kids do not respect me, my wife does not respect me. My son regularly tells me to F**k off. My wife laughs when he does that. They make rude comments that I do not make enough money on disability. All my life I have suffered from some sort of depression. My depression has 10 folded because I can not work and provide my family with the life they had before my work injury. I feel like a burden to them. Lately I have been having suicidal thoughts. I have tried talking to my wife about this but she tells me to be a man and smarten up. So I know exactly what this caller is going through. Luckily I have a really good Dr. that keeps me grounded for the most part. I see him monthly. I had to give up all my friends when I got married so talking to someone about this is impossible. Life can really stink at times and I really hope I can pull through to see the other side.

[@yo-pb4dm]

I’m so sorry man, I wish I could help

[@marywiggins7411]

Can you find some social services through your surgeon, or a church? Counseling and/or medication might help. Go by yourself first, then ask your wife to go. Your ADULT kids need a deadline to move out, they need to launch their own lives.

[@apriltownsend8463]

I'm kinda there right now. Been a hell of a last 18 months and I'm just tired.

[@carriechilders4854]

How do we get help with no insurance and no job tho? I listened to this and sobbed the whole time.

[@oliae2898]

Right? It's so expensive.

[@libertyna933]

Check mental health availability in your county. There are services for people without insurance or income.

[@amelianinan]

I feel her.

[@HappyDays6058]

I can relate.

[@michellewilliamson3195]

Yeah, right. Reach out for help. There is no fucking help out there.

[@BEACHDUDE71]

Because no one cares

[@cheeseface2323]

I have struggled with this. It’s a form of ocd

[@yourfriendinvermont2478]

Call of the void is the term for this l'appel du vide

[@toasteronfire2]

I wish someone approached me the way he did her when i was having suicidal thoughts. Now im fine but i kinda had to live with them for some time.....time fixed everything for me but i wish someone told me that i should get help and that im not overreacting and stuff.

[@volumecontrol7434]

OCD pure O? Testing yourself with intrusive thought without repetitive actions to relive it.

[@ITCONFIRMED]

Same city vibes.

[@jceggbert5]

man, it's super weird seeing John get visibly angry

[@jones2277]

when did he get angry?

[@kita3256]

Angry? When?

[@alancohen810]

Very common form of ocd

[@hoonterrrr]

Victoria, if you are reading this - I recommend that you see a psychiatrist first before a counselor if you are open to getting a diagnosis and treatment. Make sure your treatment correlates with your therapy too. Unfortunately some mental health professionals care about money so its going to take some time. Good luck!

[@stellarocquie7957]

Psychiatry is a cult that uses drugs to manipulate it's subjects. VERY risky, dangerous suggestion. Trauma informed, holistic talk therapy is a much SAFER and successful option.

[@VioletEmerald]

​@stellarocquie7957 yeah I would NOT recommend addictive numbing antidepressants. Therapy without meds is all most people need but they need the right modality of therapy and good therapy.

[@Deee_TV]

Yep, that's probably a Devil speaking to her. I'm an educated person, in university and I'd consider myself quite responsible as well, but im also aware of spiritual things. Grace be with her.

[@Hamyhamster24]

🤦‍♀️

[@Davrainbow]

This is a symptom of OCD lmao.

[@adrianreyes7153]

I feel for the lady. Doc is right, she is better off With her than with another woman..worst case scenario the next lady to watch her child can be like her own mom.

[@liveinms9949]

Sometimes medication my be needed

[@roserowley911]

1:00 intrusive thoughts are different to suicidal thoughts

[@73cidalia]

Intrusive thoughts are common. They're even more common postpartum.

[@chem3066]

May be OCD intrusive thoughts that pop in, she may not be depressed necessarily.

[@kita3256]

Victoria = hero

[@AltruisticWarrior]

"soothe my baby" she said. It sounds like she may be post partum? I haven't listened to the whole video yet but it's important to distinguish how long this has been going on. Post partum is certainly no joke, my wife suffered a great deal for about a year after the birth of our son.

[@clementine3836]

Suicidal thoughts are in my mind every single day and I literally praying for death while I still wake up and I am trying to understand why. To just suffer more or? I dont know 🤷‍♂️

[@lizbits9339]

I care. I wish I could comfort you. I get it.

[@jesussaves89]

That's demonic i used to get thoughts like that I've neve been suicidal either. One time it got so bad i got deliverance and it was a spirit that was casted out. I know there are not christians on here but guys this is very spiritual if it's so random.

[@sodvine3486]

It is

[@jones2277]

i never found therapy helpful. it's hard for me to understand how it's so helpful to some people.

[@thedude9082]

Tried talk therapy to. Seemed useless to me personally. Mindfulness is a good start for me.

[@chiragmehta8212]

Exactly. I came out worse. They made me feel worse

[@alezandradavila2581]

Yes .. I fight it with god

[@EvanEml]

Sounds like OCD to me

[@jimmyboy1582]

John HAS to stop opening every call with a laugh.

[@deed1436]

She just has a touch of ocd and it’s escalated because of her hormones after having a baby. A little bit of ocd thats mixed with a hint of post partum depression. This is pretty normal and will fade. And if she’s taking birth control too, that’ll really cause these types of problems.

[@bethl]

She said it's been since she was a child

[@Samsungsamsung-ec5gl]

Is it possible that these thoughts are a demonic attack?

[@dachater1]

This is definitely a demon! This is where prayer/deliverance would be helpful.

[@BEACHDUDE71]

I'm giving myself two years

[@matthewmatthew3955]

Two years till what bud

[@BEACHDUDE71]

@@matthewmatthew3955 until I end my life

[@BEACHDUDE71]

@@matthewmatthew3955 then I will stop being healthy

[@yiddena]

Sounds like Pure-0 OCD.

[@themarkus6472]

if we cant trust our dr.'s and psyhologists then we are fucked

[@alexcajiao7489]

Suicide is one of the most selfish things you can do. Ask for help! Seek for help and you shall find.

[@lizbits9339]

I’m guessing you haven’t felt like many others do. Deep depression is a mental illness. It’s not always easy to beat. Many people feel they are a burden to others. Depression is an illness and a liar. It’s tells you that you’re worthless and no one loves you. It’s an illness like a heart condition.