My Girlfriend's Dad Won’t Let Me Marry Her!

My Girlfriend's Dad Won’t Let Me Marry Her!
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[@kekejefferson9219]

His voice even sounds lazy.

[@bigpicturethinking5620]

Lmao.

[@ineedhoez]

Omg yes!!!!!

[@sweetstorm7652]

😅😅😅😅

[@thecramptons]

It does….

[@ithinkigottalent4047]

He doesn't sound driven or excited by anything. I understand her dad.

[@calebmallen]

He's a 21 year old adolescent. Mom is still mothering him at home. He hasn't launched from the nest yet. He can't stand on his own two feet yet.

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

That's correct and a woman would never date a man who lives with his mother but she would date a man who lives with his wife

[@EricRamz]

“Her dad is so prideful, he wants me to have an education and a job!” 😂

[@Drowning_Girl]

Ya, I was thinking is this what he is considering "narcissistic"? I was thinking the dad just sounds protective.

[@julief8402]

In I Is 🎉j ft feed

[@BlackStump172]

Why doesn’t he have a job and education ? What is he doing about his situation ? No one should be marrying unless they both have jobs and stability for a future . This guy needs to wait .

[@budgiebirdy]

My eight year old boy told me the other day that he needed to do good in school and get a good job, because when he grows up he wants a wife. He has more insight at eight than this guy has at 21.

[@janelleg597]

Lets be real, 8yo don't have their own thoughts, they're just mirroring what they've been told lol

[@LisaLisaCJ]

@@janelleg597 right!

[@CarmenBuenrostro]

@@janelleg597 yes but instilling that now is only setting him up with the right mindset

[@adrianjeffrey2897]

And it's a 50% chance she is going to divorce him, he will see his kids when the judge says and take half his existing wealth and some of his future wealth...he will need an EXCELLENT job

[@MsSimpleMovies]

@Femto I would disagree. I was concerned with having a husband and kids when I was little. It's a career to have a spouse and children, and you're a candidate. If that's the career you want, you plot the career path, and start walking early. I did the same with my actual career, and I've been relatively successful in both realms. Goals are goals. And I teach my kids that. I also tell them they have zero pressure to get married.

[@linhaton4957]

The dad is correct. You can't live on love.

[@Traumatised311]

Idk why his daughter doesn't realise I hate impractical girls

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

Yes you can...The Beatles said it best, All you need is Love

[@evelina6923]

I’ve met some of these entrepreneur types that don’t want to go to school or work, and just try all the different ‘get-rich-quick’ schemes… I wouldn’t give my daughter away to a dude like that either! Thanks for giving the caller a reality check John!

[@miketheyunggod2534]

Sounds like a Dave Ramsey follower.

[@MeloFloww]

@@miketheyunggod2534 you must be part of hustle culture I see 😂

[@klopcodez]

And that’s why 90% of people will stay poor the thing is at least the kid is trying to improve his life though school is important if he doesn’t have any capital given to him by parents

[@SDALLE99]

@@klopcodez I spy with my little eye a failed wannapreneur lol. Face it, it's you, you're just not good enough.

[@klopcodez]

@@SDALLE99 i grew up with no hand outs, I worked hard during high school and in the weekends during college year..after that I got a good job and risked/ tried various things to improve my income....I am in the 2-3% income category now and retired before 30 in 2012 and so is my wife who works at home with her business , we have 3 kids now but the reason I said what I said is because everything takes risks and knowledge if your not an entrepreneur then your in the 90% category you can work all you want but your income woun’t improve if you don’t do anything else

[@Umph84]

I have a feeling the woman in this situation doesn’t truly grasp what she is getting herself into. They are blinded by love and are not seeing the bigger picture.

[@bigpicturethinking5620]

Well I can see the bigger picture and I agree with you.

[@bobberry1463]

I seen this all the time she going to get 2 jobs and work her ass off and she going yo look at him and seeing him doing nothing and leave him.

[@sweetstorm7652]

The Disney effect is what’s going on here lol

[@veracityhunter7777]

Right 👏🏼

[@kellharris2491]

If she is lucky and doesn't get knocked up first.

[@brittanynorris2313]

My grandfather told my dad the same thing. He went out, got a certification, got a better job and after that my grandfather gave his blessing. They’ve been married for 37 years. Parents want what’s best for their kids. It only makes sense.

[@amandaforrester7636]

Yeah there is no way the dad said "just chill" for 5 years, that interpretation of the conversation is what got me.

[@Shaara1]

Today, guys just move on to an other woman who is easier to get. They won't bother.

[@omgurheadsgone]

@@Shaara1 that’s simply not true, try not to generalize all men from your personal anecdotal experience, thanks.

[@mariap7671]

It’s a different world thank god and women can now make decisions on their own

[@Girlgonewise]

Telling an African man you want to marry his daughter when you’re uneducated and broke won’t go over so well. He’s looking out for his daughter and thinking logically. If this guy get his act together, the dad will more than likely say yes.

[@miketheyunggod2534]

He's looking for a millionaire for his daughter.

[@maengh82]

@@miketheyunggod2534 There is a happy medium between being unemployed and a Millionaire

[@charlesgibeau2067]

By the way he's been talking, (no specific plans, low self confidence) I would have said wait 5 years too😐😬

[@bradleymaravalli2851]

*telling any man you want to marry his daughter when you’re uneducated and broke won’t go over so well

[@bobberry1463]

@@miketheyunggod2534 no he even said in 5 years when you have money. The dad even said you can't even afford a plane ticket

[@9118Ray]

Dad is right. Great job protecting his daughter.

[@RaleighLink]

I’m an entrepreneur and 95% of people who say they’re entrepreneurs aren’t. Including this kid. I don’t blame the dad one bit.

[@TheRealJaded]

Who asked?

[@jonathanmbaya5456]

This sounds like a 90 day fiancé plot

[@unnamedchannel1237]

It’s a scam bro and the host didn’t even pick up on it: the “GF” and “ Father” are from Nigeria. The girl doing the scam panicked and got the “father” ( most likely the real life BF) to step in and say no. They are just trying to get as much money as they can out of this caller. Bet they have never meet he has just sent heaps of money to the Nigerian princess. If the father agree to marriage there would need to be a meet up and that won’t happen so that would be the end of the scam . I agree tee you will to back with $100 Nigerian money

[@ilexevergreen5405]

LOL

[@KhumoitsileMpho]

Brooo🤣

[@Nah-ah]

No father in their right mind will allow this. Her father is right about him! Good job dad! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@JohnFKennedy420]

Am I missing something? What’s wrong with the dude?

[@CP1960]

@@JohnFKennedy420 re-watch and listen to the interview

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

Why is there always pressure on men to be something in life but no pressure on women? I don't get it?

[@StringerBell2002]

All of my Nigerian friends are medical doctors if that tells you anything. 😂

[@MelissaMaiga]

😂

[@schokococoa575]

As a Nigerian daughter studying to become a doctor, he would never fly in any household I know of😂😅

[@tatyanadifort]

As someone who got married super young to an entrepreneur... he isn't ready. Weve been married for 15 years now. But looking back, we went about this the HARDEST way possible. It's been a HARD road. And marrying now as an act of rebellion is not going to build a successful marriage.

[@UnAnonKnown]

The fact that this guy doesn’t recognize that his girlfriend’s father is right, simply proves he’s not ready. The mature and ready guy says “You know what... he’s right ... I have no steady income, no long term plan, no savings ... neither does she .... if I pull her out of her home I’m not sure we’ll be able to create a safe and stable home ... I’ll wait until I know we’ll be.”

[@BlueSideUp77]

@UnAnonKnown this is the advice that should've been given.

[@alladreamwedreamed]

Two dissatisfied star-crossed young lovers trying to escape their respective situations to be together. Most of the time, this is a recipe for failure.

[@Roccofan]

My daughter is in college and called to inform us she had a boyfriend. Before she said his name, she said the following, “He’s 6’2, a computer science major, and has a 3.8 GPA.” Not sure why she felt the need to relay his height, but what the rest of it showed is that she understood the assignment. Father’s understand what it takes to provide for a family. Having your daughter marry/get pregnant by a man with no skills or drive to get skills is dooming her to poverty.

[@brookealicia92]

But if women say money is important so they aren’t raising kids in poverty, we are called gold diggers. Literally can’t win.

[@vsand9798]

My son was 19 when he had his first child with his girlfriend, never went to college, he’s a plumber. He is 25 today. At 18 he had his own place with her, he supported his girlfriend, she has been a stay at home mom. At 21 he bought her a house, at 22 he became a father again. That same year he became a landlord. He got licensed, he is now running a commercial installation. He is the youngest manager in his company. He has a net wealth of over $250k with the properties he owns. My daughter in law told me yesterday, she would never find a man that would treat her as well as my son, which made me so proud. Lol he’s 6’3”. His brother is single, following the same path. It makes you proud when they do well.

[@Roccofan]

@@vsand9798 Exactly. Congratulations!

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

No, it's all about love

[@Roccofan]

@@romans52345-cy3tq Love has never and will never be enough.

[@catdancerskaleidoscopeofbo8496]

Hate to say it, but Dad is Right... he's older, wiser, and knows about "guys" who don't have the time and patience to put his daughter's best interest first.

[@9liveslisa]

He needs to get a life plan in place before he even thinks about marriage! Don't put the cart before the horse! I don't blame the father for saying no. I'm with her Dad!

[@Anangelfromabove]

He said to chill for 5 years 😂

[@mustangthings]

In other words, “get lost, white boy”

[@joey_dangerously]

@@mustangthings what makes you think he's white?

[@ineedhoez]

Pahaahahaha!!!! Right?

[@dinajones2761]

Hoping his daughter meets someone better lol

[@johnlopez7412]

Yea at first it looked like it was the average jealous dad but as the Call progresses you realize the dad was right

[@chrysiarose]

21, he is still a dreamy baby, and his girlfriend just wants to get away from her bad home life. They are each other's tickets out.

[@calebmallen]

What makes you think she has a bad home life? Dad runs a tight ship, but it doesn't mean she has a bad home life.

[@anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788]

@@calebmallen she says her dad has narcissistic traits. That's not a good family atmosphere.

[@mbyrd6713]

@@anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788 You’re right, but I’m wondering if he’s really a narcissist or is she mad that he won’t support this really bad decision.

[@FrankS111]

I wouldn’t give my blessing either. If you cannot take care of yourself you CERTAINLY cannot care for my daughter

[@SherryEllesson]

Ummm...I'm not anybody's idea of a Nigerian father, but if an uneducated dude with no firm career wanted to marry my kid, he'd be lucky if I accepted the collect call. I think the 5 yr thing makes a lot of sense! Gabriel doesn't.

[@RoRo-gm7ee]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@elizabeth9345]

Hahah collect call 😂. Good one

[@truthseeker6370]

So he wants to marry this girl to get a Visa.. after a long distance relationship. Good on her Dad. He's looking out for his daughter.

[@bcreilly180]

My in-laws shocked me with a quick yes response. Like frighteningly quick lol. They saw how I treated their daughter, handled my money, and how I was making sure to make Jesus #1. I fully expected a Q&A from them. Kudos to this guy for asking, hopefully it works out for him and his girlfriend

[@thecompilitation8314]

What do you mean by making Jesus 1??

[@ClaudioBOsorio]

@@thecompilitation8314 Making Jesus the #1 priority in their lives. Even when everything goes wrong God is what unites them. In other words, he said that his relationship is double bonded by their faith in God and love with each other.

[@SDALLE99]

Dang, do close. I would never trust my daughter to someone to prioritize religion over her. Your wife should be #1. If I were to hand my daughter over to a man, I expect that man to devote everything to her, including betraying his own god.

[@ClaudioBOsorio]

@@SDALLE99 If there is anyone that asked husbands to love their wives was God the creator of marriage. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Cor 2: 12-16

[@lclark3279]

@@ClaudioBOsorio Amen!

[@Whimmery]

Her dad was right and very valid in all he said. He IS broke, un-educated, and doesnt have a job and hasnt even started his business/knows how to run a SUCCESSFUL business. Marriage implies someone is ready to support and raise kids in that culture. He isn't ready, and that's why he said 5 years. Maybe in 5 years he would be ready

[@romans52345-cy3tq]

But he's a human being with feelings and let him have the woman he's entitled to

[@Whimmery]

@@romans52345-cy3tq no one is entitled to anyone

[@thejakelegion]

Man, you're 21. You should not be marrying a girl from over seas. Get your life in order, meet a girl that you can spend time with and learn if you want to be around eachother for the next 60 years, then get married. Dad is right.

[@dinajones2761]

Exactly

[@hansonallie]

I have indeed noticed that when the money is there, MAGICALLY the education thing doesn’t seem to matter so much…

[@calebmallen]

This kid doesn't have a dime to his name.

[@angelaonthego]

Yeah but he has NEITHER.

[@Traumatised311]

I know, had he been wealthy nobody wouldve cared

[@jordanharirchi4604]

The point of education is to maximize your earnings. Unfortunately or fortunately, it is the measurement of how educated someone is when there are no titles.

[@changetocome100]

Not for Nigerians ma'am, if you're wealthy but still uneducated they don't respect it. You'd have to be a near genius or savant at something else!

[@AllynHin]

One casual comment was very telling for me when he said that she wants to get out of her father's house and he wants to move out of his parent's house. Both of these kids are still living at home and haven't a clue about the real world. Sorry to say that dad is right. This guy doesn't have the fire to be an entrepreneur. He doesn't have the education to make a good income. He and his wife are going to both be working hard for very little money for the rest of their lives if he goes ahead and marries her now.

[@videowatcher398]

And Gabriel, every good father wants a good man for their daughter NOT just Nigerian.

[@captainsisko7629]

Hey what about smash the Patriarchy

[@xcalstl]

AND every mother, regardless of nationality.

[@xcalstl]

​@@captainsisko7629 This is an ADULT conversation. Go watch Scooby Doo, cupcake.

[@ziwelufefe8943]

I am a 22 year old African male. I wouldn't even consider marriage unless I have some form of stability

[@zaqlowell]

When Dr. John said until he wasn't ready by his voice I understood that completely. When you really have something going on there's a confidence behind it they just doesn't have right now.

[@Mmvexxx]

Entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. I started a marketing agency about 2 years ago targeting Spanish speaking business owners in the US. I had to do a ton of work for free to get my name out there. I had a bunch of setbacks at the beginning but perseverance is key. I have 12 clients now and have a few freelancers working for me. Now using that cash to start up a landscaping business with my nephew. I also flip furniture in the weekends for extra cash. Entrepreneurship isn’t something that just comes along. It’s something that you’re born with. Best thing this guy can do is to land a job. It doesn’t have to be a home run. Something that’s going to pay the bills and help you save up an emergency fund. And if he’s serious about this entrepreneurship thing, he can have extra cash to give it a go.

[@marquisstrongchild7535]

I was supporting the guy till he said the dad is Nigerian. And since I'm nigerian too... I support the dad 😂😂😂😂. On a serious note, if you don't have a steady career, don't marry.🙂. 2nd, if you're 21, don't marry - The dad is right, take 5 years and build yourself. It's honorable that the guy wants to marry the girl and not sleep around or waste her time playing games with her heart. But love and honor isn't enough to sustain a family.

[@chuckgamble5696]

1000% agree. Life and marriage isn't a Hallmark movie.

[@brittneydavis8662]

As soon as he said Nigerian i understood exactly where the dad was coming from

[@linhaton4957]

21 is too young to get married. Chill out for awhile and grow up. Also you need money and a career.

[@erichchan3]

Gabriel doesn't have his life together yet. He can't clearly articulate his 5 year plan and its very troubling that he doesn't seem to understand what his potential father-in-law is concerned about. Sorry but I agree with his potential father-in-law. I don't get why he just doesn't focus on establishing himself so that he can prove to this father in law that you are ready to provide her a good life. I guarantee you this doesn't have much income and she would be very miserable in Toronto.

[@calebmallen]

His mom is still mothering him at home. He hasn't launched from the nest yet. He doesn't know how to be independent!

[@solelylovely4185]

Why the hell does he have to prove something to her dad

[@writeherstory11]

An entrepreneur is a red flag 😂 her dad is right. He has nothing to offer his daughter-at least not stability

[@mikesayshiTORONTO]

I would never let my daughter marry this guy. He has bigger aspirations for his daughter, not an uneducated guy.

[@andrea6053]

I have a son and if he wanted to propose to a girlfriend and wasn’t in a position to support a wife or family, I would tell him he needs to wait to complete his education and get his crap together. You can’t have a wife and family if you don’t have enough money for rent or a mortgage. But whatever you decide just know that I will not be financially responsible for your decisions. Best of luck, but ya’ll can’t come live with me.

[@brendamoon2660]

Her father's heard too many stories about western men playing video games all day while their wife has to pay the bills, and do everything else by herself while her father pays for every baby emergency. He said "not my daughter"

[@dudeorduuude5211]

Sounds like this guy isn't far from that.

[@pupasarus]

I moved out to get away from my parents to live with a man who claimed to be a genius. 10 years of my life wasted. Tell the girl don't do it.

[@simoneaustin8076]

No education?... what did you expect?

[@EnfinLibreNM]

Yeah...that kid (and he IS a kid) doesn't have the umph yet. John is completely correct about entrepreneurs. I know because I'm an entrepreneur. It's currently 11:23 pm and I'm listening to this while I'm STILL working. I started at 7:30 am. This is not bragging -- this is the life of an entrepreneur.

[@ganymedehedgehog371]

Yeah starting a business is a wild feat I know I would never do. This guy is waiting for magic to happen not realizing most entrepreneurship is never ending work hours with a payout way down the line.

[@murraybeachtel8585]

Good words John. As a younger man that reality check can be hard, but it might be what rockets him to success. I hope he takes the words to heart and fuels a passion that will burn brightly on his career and love life. Godspeed.

[@kimberlysmith7625]

Many times, we ignore the wisdom of those with life experience. Life experience is not the be all, end all. When we are in love, everything is puppies and rainbows. This is why it's so important to foster close relationships with our progeny.....to foster adult relationships with our children. They will do what they choose...but, there remains that voice in their heads that may make a difference in their destiny.

[@sweetstorm7652]

In African and Asian culture you better show up prepared with your accomplishments, looks and promises alone don’t cut it. I doubt the girl’s dad is a narc, I think there is a culture difference here.

[@Evil-Rod-Farva]

Glad to see a father out there that looks out for his daughter. Dude there is no advantage to you as a man by being an incomplete build. Women are not interested in racing with you, they want to see you at the finish line. Glad to see a father who realizes this.

[@videowatcher398]

He sounds clueless and broke. She only wants to move out because of her parents and he's convenient and he wants to marry her because she's exotic.

[@mr.lad-detailingtricksntip]

Entrepreneurship 50 years ago was based off serving the community and helping the world. Entrepreneurship today is based off serving yourself and not wanting to be accountable to a boss. Evidence? 80% of businesses fail in the first year. Your vision has to be outside yourself. It has to be a calling you are passionate about that literally you can’t not talk about. Unfortunately, I don’t think this kid has it…

[@firefly9838]

I’m working on starting a business and I still work a day job until it’s successful if it is. This guy could do that at least.

[@whalesnamedshark]

Kids if your parents are good, solid people listen to them !!!!!!

[@hannahalexie5158]

He definitely shouldn’t move forward with the engagement. Take a year and get your act together. Get a steady job (you’ll need money if you really are an “entrepreneur” anyway), focus on bettering yourself, etc.

[@brendamcalpine1341]

This caller was the inspiration for that horrible song, “Rude,” by Magic.

[@NeccoWecco]

If he was a smart kid, he would go to university in Nigeria and earn a degree and spend time with his girlfriend and earn the trust of her father. The cost of public university in Nigeria is at most $500/yr. If he's not very smart he can buy his way through at a private university.

[@johniii8147]

Oh please 21. Blessing or not, you're not ready.

[@julietnighton1849]

A lot of people think that to be a “real” entrepreneur you have to find something that you’ve been passionate about since 5 and that your ultimate goal must be the greater good of the world. A story that struck me was a cookie company that had tried a bunch of things before they made it big selling cookies. They were just passionate about running a business and put their all into making that business the best! John is totally right that you can hear the drive in those people. And you can tell they’ll succeed because they keep trying like they have a fire under them! I didn’t hear any of that excitement and readiness to do the hard work when listening to this caller. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Nice of the dad to tell him to wait. Probably hoping the guy figures himself out before marrying his daughter.

[@katrinassister9397]

A show on "the ask" and marriage later in life would be a trip!

[@kw3113]

This happened to our son too. They tried to stay together for one year hoping the dad would change his mind and he didn’t. They were 22 at the time. A year later the girl chose her family (which I get) and they broke up. Broke my sons heart. When he asked the father, my son held an undergraduate degree in biomedical engineering, a paid PhD program for a doctorate in bio medical engineering and just scored in the 99% on his mcats. By the time he is 35 he will hold two doctorates and have zero student loan debt. Oh by the way, this Father was divorced, had a new young wife and a young child and was currently cheating on her too. This one ‘Father’ has damaged every person in his life. My son dodged a bullet.

[@LisaLisaCJ]

That’s good… at 35… I don’t care what a guy has under his belt at 22 he is in no way ready to be a husband and neither is the girl as you stated she went after her family.

[@austin6174]

@@LisaLisaCJ age doesnt have to do with it. Its maturity. I worked three jobs 80hr weeks to save enough money for my wife and i to get married at the age of 20. No college degree. Started working on the plan 1.5yrs in advance. Going on 13yrs ,two kids and running three successful businesses.

[@ineedhoez]

Agreed!

[@chuckgamble5696]

​@Austin Logically you are correct, but I would also argue your scenario is an outlier.

[@HadassaMoon144]

Who knows? Sounds like sour grapes to me. Whose to say that YOUR SON would have been as successful if he’d stayed in the marriage? Stop judging that father who considered your son not good enough for his daughter. He wasn’t at the time! Sometimes relationships come at the wrong time.

[@Myraisins1]

What about the young lady? Is it a long distance relationship? Dude should look at this as a challenge to get his ish together. Sounds like a traditional family. Some tribes still have a dowry. He is in no position to care for a wife especially if she doesn't even live in the USA yet. If he were to buckle down, he could prove things to her father in a year. If that doesn't work then they could take other action. Just sounds like they need to slow things down a bit.

[@nickstrapko7549]

Who said she's a tribes woman. She probably is

[@scoopitywoop]

No he wants to move to Nigeria

[@CreamIceMs]

Usually people who become entrepreneurs have an idea in mind, and leave the usual route (college/a stable job) to persue that dream head on. They focus and dedicate their time and energy to make that dream a reality. "I want to be an entrepreneur, but I don't know what I want to do" is a weak way to start. It doesn't just happen like that.

[@reinamacaren-a4132]

😂 dad is a narcissist?🥴 Dude you're wayyyyy too young. Dad is correct. Forget about the girl for a moment. YOU'RE NOT READY! LIFE IS NO JOKE. LIVE LIFE! COME BACK IN 5YRS is correct. Where do you see yourself in 5yrs? Don't be a couch potato. That's what you sound like at 21🥴

[@SDALLE99]

Ik, it sounds like john is talking to a kid

[@reinamacaren-a4132]

@@SDALLE99 I think dad was being nice because when he comes back in 5yrs dad will say, "Son you need 5more"😂

[@stephaniehallahan6141]

I'm on dad's side. If he truly loves her and all that, he needs to find another path. Marriage is about compromise and sacrifice. Some dreams are just dreams, time to grow up!

[@captainsisko7629]

Hey what about smash the Patriarchy

[@ivorybow]

One of the things that gets young people in trouble is urgency. Everything is an emergency. Take a breath and slow down. You are preparing for at least a 50 to 60 year life. Invest in yourself now and make yourself valuable, to her, to your future children, to dad, and to life. Get an education!

[@tripleekitchen...6676]

Stop rushing to get married. Start building and working hard to build a career for your future. Then you can get married. If you and her are meant to be together, in 5 years she’ll still be there waiting for you.

[@megalopolis2015]

This couple is young, silly, and in Love. God bless them.

[@omayrasdemesne]

it's a beautiful thing to be in love but yes they are very young mentally (naturally so). If this young man listened to the show, he'd hear all the calls of couple who married young or married before really creating a path together. It's not something most 21 year olds can absorb at that age but it's the truth.

[@megalopolis2015]

@@omayrasdemesne Definitely.

[@alicejohn7316]

Most guys aren’t mature enough and financially ready for marriage until about 30 onwards.

[@giveme24hrs72]

If my son (my eldest is only 9) told me he was gonna get married before 33, he would not have my blessing

[@gbear34]

Is that why so many successful marriages started with both parties in their teenage years back in the day? Lol

[@gbear34]

@@giveme24hrs72 You may have your son's interest at heart, but I'm guessing that your opinion will change well before he's 33.

[@giveme24hrs72]

@@gbear34 why do you say that it will change?

[@slark3493]

If he really loves her he will do what’s best for her and not what is best for him. Alienating her from her family is not good for her. Take a little more time to make yourself into someone you would want your own daughter to marry and do this the right way!

[@8tj08czwvi]

21 makes us legally accountable but for many, (most?) they are not truly mature adults. At 21 most don't even know the questions to ask of life so slow down and create you *before* trying to join with another.

[@StringerBell2002]

He’s 500% a “wet blanket”. 😂

[@armanforthree3457]

Good father to watch out for his daughter. Especially for a guy that is coming from a different country, that paperwork is HELL. I married a Canadian and immigration is not easy. This kid doesn’t know anything.

[@maengh82]

If he wants to be self employed, he needs to say in Canada because he will at least have health insurance for him and his wife. Totally ignorant about Nigerian healthcare system,. If he comes to U.S., him and his wife will need to enroll in U.S. government subsidized healthcare plan, unless she already has employed sponsored health insurance.

[@firefly9838]

I agree

[@pigpjs]

This is a conversation he should be having with his girlfriend. She isn't the property of either of her parents. They need to have important conversations before getting engaged. Also, my university had a Bachelor's degree in entrepreneurship and so did my sister's. It helped all of the students develop a business plan, apply for funding, research competitors, learn about growth, an business laws. If you have an actual business idea, there's no reason you shouldn't go to school at least part time in this major whose homework and finals will directly help your business.

[@andrewbranham]

Getting a degree in Entrepreneurship is the single most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life. It actually goes against the whole idea of entrepreneurship. You can do everything you just listed without spending 100k.

[@stellarocquie7957]

Culture is a huge factor.

[@SDALLE99]

@@andrewbranham there’s a sucker born every minute

[@andrewbranham]

@@SDALLE99 it's getting worse every year. How stupid can people be?

[@johannanguyen9101]

@@stellarocquie7957 Is a factor, but not an excuse.

[@joyparker3116]

He wouldn’t ever marry my daughter ! He’s sick - he has no idea of how to take care of himself! I wouldn’t pay for their lifestyle!

[@shembeliever6095]

The crazy thing is how the mother said yes. Where is the good judgement here for her daughter? This chap needs to get himself together and prove himself in action before whisking away the girl who's probably below 20!! What in the world? Good dad for protecting his daughter!

[@57jauar]

Oh heck NO to the marriage! Sounds like his interest is more self satisfying, than love and a forever after. She will sadly find out the truth of her worth to him, once he gets his papers and she helps fund his business dreams. To Dad: Hold on to your daughter, his desire is selfish and filled with one sided empty promises 💥

[@garrettholtz8379]

I wonder if they have ever even met in person. I wouldn't give my blessing to a guy on the internet, either.

[@anyamuenchgrieser8686]

Good for the girl's dad, but where is the boy's dad??

[@matttison9717]

The very beginning, John does the unspeakable..... He asks the guy how he's doing, the guy says "good, how are you?" John says, "Good, how's it going?" Poor guys xD Love Dr. D! Super humble and an all around great guy, it seems.

[@emptysoul5057]

Go out and get a few more numbers in the bank and a technical certificate get a better job and then he'll change his mind. And the girl will admire you for trying to please her family. My grandpa told my dad no until my mother graduated from college and both of them were standing on their own two feet. My grandpa is also part Nigerian it's a cultural thing. No African father will say yes when you don't have enough to comfortably support his daughter. He may be a jerk but that's his daughter that's his princess...prove you're worth it to him. That's the only way you'll prove it to him. A lot of technical certificates don't take very long to get.

[@NeccoWecco]

Something's very off here. He wants to move to Nigeria thinking he'll have it easy. If he gets a visa to Nigeria, it would mean that his future wife and her family would be financially responsible for him and he would have 0 prospects. As it is, he does not have the finances to be able to support her. He hasn't found his purpose yet and he's grasping onto this relationship. Get your business profitable and then think about moving abroad.

[@johnmartin4641]

No one wants their daughter to marry a deadbeat who can’t take care of her and provide for her like she deserves. Entrepreneurship is a pipe dream because you’re totally on your own. No guaranteed salary/compensation. No pension. No 401k match. No stock compensation. No health benefits. No paid time off. Of all of the entrepreneurs I know from my personal life, only 2 have been successful. My friends and I have been very successful and only 2 of us were entrepreneurs. Excluding those 2, all of us worked for big companies and we were well compensated. And one of the two worked for another company before starting his own business. I can’t remember if the other one did or not. But anyway, if you try to start your own business at 21 with no experience, then you are doomed to fail.

[@jkay07]

Naija girl, man he ain't even ready, there's a lot to handle, keep rocking on the sidelines for a minute. Dad is right.

[@Whisperwomaneq2]

This is not going to work out. She will be shunned by her father and the family if they move forward with this now. She more than likely just wants to get out of her fathers house and a trip to the US.

[@detmostwant]

When I asked my now father in law for his blessing he gave me a thumbs up. I felt so welcomed..

[@gloriamakau9331]

Wow, first of all, most 21 year olds young men are still not mature yet and are trying to find themselves in this world and navigating as adults. The daughter's father did him a great solid and said no. It is said that our brains don't mature until we are 25 years old. Most people don't like waiting. Sometimes you make decisions such as marriage quickly without realizing the magnitude marriage holds. Am pretty sure that when they wait, they will see why he said no and also as you are growing up, you change. Young man take time and focus on yourself and your career. Get yourself together first and then see if you can provide for your girlfriend. She also needs to focus on herself too and her career.

[@dinajones2761]

He sounds 15

[@frankcb11]

Sometimes it does matter how you treat the woman over all. I was once worried about this and asked someone who talked to a lot of men and deal with conflicts in his community and provides counsel. And he said to me well “insert name” the man can be a doctor or an accountant and just abuse her (abuse doesn’t always mean physical), he can cheat and neglect and stuff in my experience. It matters if he is hardworking and how treats her those are the men that makes the best husband not their title. So it was good to hear that but either way the man ought to be able to provide or at the very least on his way there within a short time frame. All depends on their life stages and visions for their lives. If they are considering starting a family or up there in age then the closer the man ought to be in that phase. If they are early to mid twenties and want to travel, explore different job opportunities and paths or further schooling. Then honestly the “provider” status shouldn’t be weighed as heavily. 21 is young though. I have being there. Hold on player. You do need that 5 years. The perspective comes from experience.

[@Justsayingthat]

You take a girl out of a home that is comfortable and you can’t even pay rent? Do you really live her? Encourage her to go against her father could cause so much pain long term.

[@grantguy8933]

Be confident.

[@Globewanderer000]

Oh man, I was pissed going in....but now, I am siding with the dad. This guy doesn't love her. He's using her. And he's a bum.

[@shehnazahmad5213]

Watching on 01.09.23 Johannesburg SA🇿🇦

[@sophiawish9772]

I wonder if either of them have done a legit business plan? I would guess, no. Sure the father is concerned, he knows if the son-in-law falls through, the parents will be paying all of this couple's bills! This young man is not mature enough to have a wife, yet.

[@sunkist3304]

I agree with dad…

[@sakurisake4201]

Omg this is similar to my roomie and her boyfriend's potential marital future lol.

[@angietyndall7337]

Some cultures honor and being a provider, involved in the community; etc. ACTUALLY MATTERS!!

[@tristanrodenhauser5267]

He doesn’t sound very aware of Nigeria,,, it’s a fast growing dynamic population but their economics are not stable, high level of inequality. It’s not as direct or easy to make money in other nations as in the west. To access the basics of banking institutions. It is not easy for educated persons to find stable work. It’s odd he is looking for a visa to move there rather than start a business in Canada. Nigeria sends 100,000 of their best and brightest to study abroad yearly.

[@AnnaM4117]

This call was super dragged out. He told you his dilemma and he was calling for advice. The advice should be to back off until he’s a better suitor in the eyes of the father so he can confidently ask again and show his areas of improvement. Culturally, this can be a means of disowning a child. Not sure about Nigeria but I’m sure somewhere in the world it’s taken as disrespect. Logically he’s not in a place to adopt the responsibility of a husband or father. Sounds like he shouldn’t have any pets either in all honestly. Good luck to him

[@doctorsmoothlove]

Just curious, did a lot of younger guys do this when before proposal? I didn't know about this tradition and my wife never brought this up before we were married.

[@lmlmlmlm7627]

That moment when you call a Nigerian and he thinks you’re pranking him :p

[@unnamedchannel1237]

This has scam written all over it. Caller is getting catphished and his bank drained in one go

[@DougAlesUSA]

3:09 Dr John: So, what’s the culture? Caller: He’s Nigerian. Dr John: What does he do? Caller: Well, he’s the indisposed prince of Nigeria. He needs my help to get his late fathers fortune, the sum of $30 Million US. He needs my bank account and routing number so he can wire transfer money into my bank accout. Then he will give me his daughters hand in marriage. Dr John: surprised Pikachu face

[@DougAlesUSA]

@kelly links if you can not see the humor in my comment, its up to you to work to improve yourself.

[@sakurisake4201]

It's a joke but perhaps you are so blinded by ignorance.