5 things my bright friends don’t joke about

[@ezrat4743]

When it comes to dogs, Hollywood made an entire film franchise out of running down and murdering a whole mafia enterprise for killing a puppy. It's named John Wick.

[@kokomo74149]

I wholeheartedly support his effort. Those people asked for it and now they gonna have to find out. I've never cheered so hard for murder and violence in my life. 😂😂😂 Someone finally caught on "you can't hurt the dog" actually makes for a compelling script the majority can get behind. 😂😂😂

[@phildicks4721]

Also many of us who were of Gen X and older were brought to tears and bawling like infants after watching the movie Old Yeller.😉

[@kokomo74149]

@@phildicks4721 I still can't watch it without crying. That dog was the best dog anyone could ask for. Lol Of course, I'm the one who can make a case for a Cujo. It wasn't his fault his family didn't protect him. We had rabies shots. Of course old yeller had a lot to do with that. It was old yeller all over again but they wanted me to hate him just because he's bigger??? That was very conflicting. Lol

[@Happy_Magician]

​@@phildicks4721 come on man! Why'd you have to bring up that movie!? Bout brought me to tears just thinking about it

[@UndeadJohnGaming]

YES

[@emilyevans6989]

I was a military brat growing up, and an only child. The dogs were all I had. They were the constant in a world of constant change. Don’t mess with my dogs. The “don’t anyone mess with your friend’s girl,” that’s DEAD CENTER. In my group of friends (some of us together since high school) there is no horsing around and no innuendo, either. My group doesn’t want any thing to be misconstrued, and why open the door for doubt to sneak in?

[@mulengroak4687]

It wasn't Cujo's fault, he'll get in easily. Now the human that failed to keep his rabies shots up-to-date is another question.

[@flman1284]

You never mess with a mans woman. Also, your best friends ex's are all off limits for life

[@jimbrock8310]

You are 100% about my dogs. They are part of the Family. But that goes toward any pets or livestock I have. I made to choice to have them it is my responsibility to take care of them. Even if I am going to harvest them for our own table they are well kept.

[@gordonlawrence1448]

Reminds me of the old joke:Some people wear Superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

[@joshz7712]

Someone messing with your buddy's woman is the same as messing with your sister. Did you know Chuck Norris doesn't mow his own lawn? He sits on his front porch and dares the grass to grow.

[@mr.hanger]

Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare, he only eats unicorns.😁

[@mitchellpierce6233]

Once on the set of Walker, Texas Ranger. There was a still born baby calf birthed on set. Chuck brought the calf back with a quick and vigorous beard rub. The calf stood up and shook itself off, getting some of the mess on Chucks boots. He swiftly did a roundhouse kick and snapped the calfs neck, killing it instantly. As he walked away he was quoted saying, "The good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck taketh away"

[@shelleythompson-brock6412]

If Spidey's holding a puppy and Chuck Norris...we'll save the puppy, cuz we know Norris' 'got this'. lol

[@armymedicchris]

The gound is afraid of Chuck Norris. Drop Chuck, it is just going to make a crater that will start spouting oil.

[@alphagt62]

That puppy probably had it coming…..if Chuck doesn’t like it, something is off

[@cristotheranger4263]

Two minor corrections: 1st: if Chuck punted a pup, it was never a pup to begin with. It was a rat with a yip. 2nd: Spider-Man would save neither. Chuck would save the dog because he even the law of gravity knows not to mess with Chuck.

[@Iron_Owlz]

Josh: "Hold chuck norris and a dog over a cliff and say he's gotta choose one." Easy, the dog...we all know Chuck norris can never die.

[@kokomo74149]

Cujo couldn't help his stupid owner let him get bit by rabid bats. Poor Cujo. 😢😂

[@robertherrell8989]

Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug in his bedroom .. .. .. .. the bears not dead just afraid to move

[@scottbivins4758]

That's a smart move for the bear.

[@oldmandan3884]

Chuck Norris wouldn’t punt a puppy. The puppy would see Chuck Norris and punt itself so it wouldn’t have to face the wrath of Chuck Norris.

[@egpmh2891]

it could be worse it could the puppy saw Haku right before Haku ate him and his entire family then snapped Chuck Norris in half

[@ATEC101]

@@egpmh2891 Chuck is real, 'Haku' is some anime D-Bag. Nice try.

[@egpmh2891]

@@ATEC101 actually I was talking about former wrestler and cage fight Haku real name Tonga 'Uli'uli Fifita; even Norris himself has said he would not mess with him. Haku has been banned from competing in all countries outside Japan and his home country of Samoa due to how violent he can be when he gets pissed. Here is an example: some guy in airpoint in the 80s was being racist towards him and tried to take his bag and check it just because he "looked off" he hit that guy so hard in the face it broke his entire face, neck, collar bone, and upper chest. When TSA came to take him down one sprayed him with pepper spray, he just screamed "IT THE SUPPOSE TO FUCKING DO SOMETHING!" He then proceeding to beat the shit out of twelve TSA agents with his bare hands putting half them in a coma, one tased him he screamed "I DO NOT LIKE BE TICKLED MOTHER FUCK!" This lead him to headbutt the guy so hard he killed him. He only let the police who showed up to arrest him as his manager from the wrestling company he was in at that time showed up and asked him to calm himself, he only did as he respected him as his elder. After he got to the squad car he snapped the cuffs in half and told one of the cops "get in back little brodda I rides shot cop with da Sherrif." The younger cop try to argue which pissed him off more, lucky enough the Sherrif knew Haku and told the kid to shut up and get in back. The Sherrif was too afraid to take him to jail, so he drove him home instead. The following week when he was going to be fired from WWE it has been said Vince McMahon hired a SWAT crew to protect him, Haku said to him and the SWAT "Braddas we you gots be little bitches just call me, tell me I no more have job and explain why...POLITELY then I will be ok."

[@egpmh2891]

@@ATEC101 Oh Eric Bischoff of WCW gifted him a title and paid him to stay home so he wouldn't be around him as he was terrified him too. His first day with WCW he was just a script writer and Greg Gagne was the runner, they came up to Haku when he was in the middle of telling Benoit, Dean Malenko, and Chris Candido how to make it in the business as at that time they were just starting. He got enraged and yelled at them both for interrupting "Hey! Apologize to my friends right now, especially you Gagne this not AWA where you can be daddy's little bitch I kill you where you stand noone do nothing!" They bot said sorry and Gagne quit and was replaced by Bill Watts, who 5 years later also quit in fear of Haku which lead to Eric Bischoff to being the runner.

[@flamingpieherman9822]

As a white woman I concur on all of these. All of our white men think this way and most of the women.!

[@MrVeinken]

Really dig your perspectives. Love seeing Nashville represented ! Nothing but respect from Whites Creek TN.

[@cycleboy8028]

Hold Chuck Norris and a puppy over a cliff... who with Spiderman save? The puppy. Chuck will glare at gravity and it will reverse itself.

[@kpny8484]

Chuck Norris wouldn't hurt a dog. If we had to choose between a puppy and Chuck Norris falling off of a cliff, Chuck Norris would save the dog and himself as they both fell because we know we wouldn't have to choose either.

[@charliecaldwell6476]

you are absolutely hilarious, keep em coming

[@ronlee5571]

Been missing these Josh!!!! We have been looking for you! Great video and lastly and most IMPORTANTLY……..GO DAWGS!!!!!

[@sccarguy]

My Sheppard Is named "Walker" which is short for Walker Texas Ranger !

[@randallwelch463]

You almost trampled on sacred ground mentioning Chuck Norris but you went the right direction lol I love this video Josh and I love your humor. Funny as always GBO!!!!!

[@mach179]

I worked at the USAF Test Pilot School from 1985 to 2010. I can't remember the year, but one class of student test pilots put Chuck Norris on all their flight suit patches.

[@shirleykingjr]

Bright cousins. That’s the first time I heard that one nice

[@tonynewburey8900]

You hit it..... My Dog a German Shepperd... When I get to heaven.... There is a problem ....... No problem the lawyer

[@mikekilburn3552]

Boss man you are a breathe of fresh air. You are also absolutely 💯. As an Irish American loyalty is all that matters oh and good food😂

[@rogerledlow4970]

He’s right Josh. You gotta pay up on the $100. 😂

[@jolenewitzel7919]

Facts on all 5. 😄😄😄😄😄

[@fallen605]

Facts 💯 yes you we miss you love you thank you for coming home

[@hanssolo8795]

Some of these are in the redneck 10 commandments too.

[@bf6159]

The boogeyman looks under the bed at night to make sure Chuck Norris isn't there.

[@dbn52]

Yes Sports Team ,Dogs and paying back $$$ are totally true. Some of us do not like Chuck Norris at all. But I know way to many assholes who have screwed around with their buddies girl to agree with that one.

[@SonofLiberty-zw7op]

Too funny. Thanks for the laughs. And...it's not the actual money. It's about you living up to your word. If you bet money, pay money. I would have. Am I dealing with a man? Or a .....?

[@mr.hanger]

I heard that Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns. Don't worry, Spidey, Ol'Chuck's got this!😉

[@jaredadams870exp]

When chuck norris punted that puppy it became a dog thats why dogs became mans best friend

[@AxlLeigh]

my FIL walked through Boston wearing his Yankees coat right after we whupped the Sox in the WS. He got asked if he thought it was a good idea - He unzipped it to show his USMC uniform 😂😂

[@stuckgrenadepin.225]

I have to call BS. No marine is going to be caught wearing a civilian coat while in uniform.

[@billfischer9887]

Not a problem for Spiderman, Chuck Norris doesn't need to ba saved.

[@boftx1]

I'd pick the puppy, every time! :)

[@robinlondrow9263]

Josh you ALWAYS crack me up. Thank you

[@crystalfachko1905]

TY Sir! Just what I needed today💖✌️🌎🇺🇸🥰😇

[@h.s.6269]

Pay that man back already, let him relax, he's been on edge for 3 yrs...

[@josephgardner2429]

gonna choose the dog. Chuck had a good life

[@faiththomas1749]

I must be a product of wypipo culture bcoz the first rule is true but I have a SEC shirt I have and I live in Los Angeles California aka the lionheart of PAC12 country but I don’t care bcoz I my family is from 3 southern states: Georgia, Alabama and Louisiana and I rep the WHOLE CONFERENCE ESPECIALLY DURING FOOTBALL SEASON

[@wendyraymond1751]

Love listening to these x

[@klf1856]

Chuck Norris punted the puppy because it had already died and he was sending it to Heaven. Because, well, Chuck Norris.

[@livefreeordie9542]

The choice is easy, if Chuck Norris and a puppy are held over a cliff. Drop Chuck Norris, he won't fall, the cliff will rise up to him.

[@travisdodge2370]

Chuck Norris is kinda a bad ass, but I wouldn't mess with Richard Roundtree.

[@lornbaker1083]

Richard Roundtree is to black people what Chuck Norris is to white people just like How jackie chan is the same to asian people. At least that's the best way that I can think About it without my brain trying to scramble itself When I think about the 3 In a three way melee. The universe could not handle such incredible energy. My brain barely struggles to even comprehend such a thing..

[@cjcampbell713]

as for my pets, i love them but i can give them away tomorrow. the hell with Chuck Norris.

[@billybushmaster]

Look up a song called Old Dogs, children and watermelon wine by Tom T Hall he explains it all about old dogs and children and watermelon wine

[@Evan-lr8nq]

Cant argue with facts!

[@nathanplunkett4641]

#1 is why I am a 41 year old Vikings fan.

[@dhollongstreet4725]

Never get between the TV and a white woman when Walker Texas Ranger is on.

[@henryfinlay4010]

Well the puppy. Chuck will survive

[@chrisfrench9257]

There is only one Chuck. We can get a new puppy.

[@CannabisCapper]

White guy here. This is facts. Except Keanu Reeves instead of Chuck Norris.

[@archiedpatterson1292]

Down south it's even worse with dogs had a friend in Yankee Land Called me all bothered about someone getting shot for kicking a small dog I'm like ya and what you expect was going to happen

[@jordanstamps5475]

Well of course Spider-Man would save the puppy cause he knows the ground isn’t dump enough to attempt and hurt Chuck Norris. Not that the ground could anyway.

[@heatonjames2545]

I’ve never “loaned” money to anyone. If I have enough money to give and it fits inside my budget, then I give it. Sometimes I get paid back, sometimes I don’t. I won’t stop beings friends with those who don’t pay me back, but I also know who my serious friends are. Who’s advice would you rather take? Those who appreciate charity and make sacrifices to pay back providence? Or those who would rather feed their appetites at the expense of their friends? Don’t get me wrong. I’m no saint. I just prefer to do things this way.

[@PhatFreddysCat]

Im white woman & love my dog I spittaked my coffee over crying cause dog left in rain. So funny! It depends on size of the dog for me to cry 😀

[@Lakillika]

pay him the $100 already !

[@UncleRayRayGarageEmporium]

True True and True

[@andylastname566]

as a Bright people, never understood the whole sports team bs. xD

[@billybushmaster]

There's two things in this lifetime you can always count on my hound dog and my hound dog the wife comes after the dog

[@thomaskitlica5572]

My dog's are Smith and Wesson for real!!!

[@NikkiJames-sy2vc]

My pre-nup I signed lets me know his dogs are off limits 😂

[@ScarlaPhi]

Chuck Norris has never kicked a puppy I'd save the puppy, Chuck would break the ground when he hit.

[@kennethkirby2533]

In Durham NC you are born either Duke or UNC, your parents will put you in infant cloths 1 or the other. We have Lic. plates that says, house divide Duke/UNC, just the way it is.

[@markpk7455]

Chuck doesn't do push up's he pushes the earth down 😂. My hunting dog 🐕 I train you dam right I will save my dog 🐕 before you sorry.

[@scapelaine4529]

I mean I like Chuck Norris a lot he's cool....but him or a puppy? You know Chuck Norris can take care of of himself, but a puppy needs help! Sorry Chuck puppy gets my help everytime! Honestly I think even Chuck Norris would agree with that!😂

[@Kaelland]

This is the correct answer. Also, we know this is actually a test from Chuck Norris. If we choose Chuck Norris over the puppy, Chuck Norris will save the puppy and then roundhouse us over the cliff. But if we choose the puppy over Chuck Norris, then Chuck Norris will give us the "that's the correct answer nod" right before he's dropped. Chuck Norris will then punch the ground to break his fall. This is, by the way, how the Grand Canyon was made, in case anyone was wondering.

[@mikekilburn3552]

Imagine if all videos were like this where everybody was just saying cool and awesome things about the other people that we all know are true and are all really there.. I was born in raised in Chicago till I was 10 then moved to Hartsville Tennessee till about 15. And no matter where I went and what neighborhood I walked into the barbecue was always going and everybody was always happy. And it was considered disrespect not to just come on up and taste of food and say hi. Grandma needs to pull her f****** slippers back out because the kids nowadays need that slipper

[@barbrice721]

All dogs go to Heaven. It's the owners that sometimes don't. Who was that football player? You know the one.

[@jamesflom6249]

Hey if you didn't cry when Old Yeller died...........you're not right

[@JamesRuby-n4m]

Chuck lives even after dropping his ass off a cliff. Look out for the round house

[@dahutful]

Dogs… that’s right

[@M335h1]

These still happen?! Love it! Edit: Someone texts me bout chuck norris ima be like “Long live domino, bitch. I’ll talk patton all day tho! Like how many times can a man be taken out of and put back into a war, phenomenal.”

[@ztaylor583]

#5, thats Italian for ya

[@mikerohlfs2836]

Dude your speaking gospel, I've been stuck in Cleveland Brown world since 2005,I don't think there is a Browns fan in the world....we just.....keep picking them up off the ground.....help.....

[@tomjackson7755]

Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and left with an ironed shirt and a sandwich. (my personal favorite)

[@Southern-Deplorable]

Dang are you in Nashville? We need to do lunch brother!

[@steve-rr3nq]

It wasn't Kudjo's fault. He caught rabies.

[@georgiastraub3485]

Nope don't matter you got to RIP, Ooooooooo no no Old School Baby step up for your friends, It's another crazy cuz, Ooooooooo Chuck doesn't do push up he push the world down, Come on your word is your word

[@treehouseconstituents6402]

I'm telling you right now, I'm single because of my dog. He doesn't like women. I'll be single until he dies, and if ANYONE/ANYTHING tries to hurt or separate us they'll die. If someone hits my dog with a car I'm catching a murder beef, I'll fight a grizzly with my bare hands to protect him

[@cheechdubinsky6709]

The dogs name is Chuck, Chuck Norris 😂

[@TM-xr5ue]

Geaux Tigahs!

[@nramorrisg8415]

Eagles brother Eagles.

[@Mathew_Thomas]

I don't care about any those except the last one. Where I'm from when you owe someone money you're gonna get your ass beat till you pay it.

[@tracyframpton6941]

Cujo had RABBIES that is why he was a bad puppy

[@kimwilliams91577]

Holy Shit 😂😂😂😂

[@Oldman-eu1ir]

Chuck Norris or the puppy? We will choose the puppy. Chuck Norris will side kick the mountain as he falls and it will crumble underneath him

[@donnaharris4319]

Nailed it

[@FlowerChild65]

The dog thing is dead ass. I don’t like Chuck myself because of his recent political shenanigans but I have fond memory of him from childhood because my grandma LOVED Walker, Texas Ranger. The money thing is also legit. I owe a friend money right now. We’re besties but like it’s also giving me something close to Catholic guilt.

[@scurvofpcp]

Dude .... why you letting yourself owe money to an Italian? Pay the man, I like your content and want you around for a lot longer.

[@georgeblair3894]

You owe an Italian man money? Dude.

[@MarSchlosser]

Do not never ever mess with a dog. Dogs are scared, a blessing from God Almighty to humanity. they are Wolf Jesus in helper form. Kick a dog and you are in trouble! If somebody held Chuck Norris and a puppy over a cliff, Chuck would be praying for you and begging you to save the puppy. Drop that puppy and not chuck, you're going to have a lot of major hospital bills, of not a funeral. Yes, he is kin thru Nana (Granny) by way of the Cherokee.

[@jwestgrayhat]

Funny stuff!

[@jonsolomon4814]

Like the shirt! 😂

[@lioninwinter9316]

A guy who messes with his friends girl is a "Jodie" and should be scorned and shunned forever. People who are cruel to dogs in any way are scum. If you welsh on a bet you aren't worthy of any respect. Ever.

[@bretteumont657]

All true

[@VincentTwente]

Cujo not violent Cujo was misunderstood

[@revracentertainment]

No kujo had rabies he still a good boi

[@PaulGAckerman]

Cujo wasn't violent. He got rabies.