How to Put A STOP to Being Manipulated by A Gaslighter

Don't Forget to SUBSCRIBE!
--
Gaslighting is a hot topic these days because it's a subtle but harmful type of emotional or psychological manipulation that is happening to many more among us than we realize.
In the past few videos, we have been talking about what gaslighting is and how to know if you have been a victim of gaslighting.
So today, we are going to talk about how to deal with the gaslighter and set very clear boundaries when you are being gaslit.
______
What is Gaslighting? WATCH HERE: • What is Gaslighting? 9...
How to know if you're being gaslit. WATCH HERE: • How To Know If You're ...
GET MY DOWNLOAD - 25 WAYS TO SAY NO! - HERE: courses.juliakristina.com/25-...
-----
Join the GOOD FOR ME GROUP on Facebook: GoodForMeGroup.com
____
Come connect with me!
♥ FACEBOOK: FB.me/JuliaCounsellor
♥ INSTAGRAM: / juliacounsellor
♥WEBSITE: juliakristina.com
♥BLOG: juliakristina.com/blog

[@juliakristinamah]

Which one of these strategies resonated with you most?

[@divyanshsh]

Julia Kristina Counselling Talking to a friend or therapist

[@annebeck9053]

not my rodeo and taking a stand. being grounded and not allowing the abuse to continue

[@kevinmiller8265]

I know this a bit old but I have a question about some of these vids about gaslighting a termn I just now learned. What if this is what is being but the person doing it does not realize they are , all the examples are as close as can be , but the person doing this I don't or I won't believe would purposely do this . Considering it's my daughter and on the other hand I'll be accussed of doing this to her when I don't think I was at all but could have been perceived that way . Im tired of trying to mend what was once a better relationship , even the boundarys have been twisted cuz I walked away .

[@trainertroyyoga]

"Not my rodeo." Love it.

[@nikkic83]

Julia Kristina Counselling Those are all great ideas. Maybe you could give some suggestions on how to say no to someone you live with. If someone knows your schedule intimately you can’t really use the schedule or not enough time scenario. In my case it’s my mother. She is very passive\aggressive. She tends to gaslight etc.I live with her and I am not in a position to move out. She is 81. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated 🙏

[@weopll6405]

The hardest thing I have found is when the gasligher thinks they’re the one being gaslit. It’s really a mind warp and is really difficult

[@TM-pn3zk]

yep they always flip it and project it on to you, and the most unbelieveable thing is how nearly everyone will believe them. It's like the movie Fallen, and legion

[@TrasherBiner]

That's right, it's a mindwarp because us people who fell for gaslighting have internalized other people are right and we are wrong. At least in my case it was like this. What I learned from my episode with my gaslighter is that whatever I think, it's what goes. If I'm wrong I will reevaluate myself, but I don't let others gauge for me what's right and what's wrong. I hope you recovered Amanda and left all this behind.

[@twilfits]

They're messed up that's the covert victim narc. Screw them.

[@ruebencristobal7790]

You love being gaslighted. Im sure if you were with a guy that treated you nice and actually loved you, it would be a sign of weakness to you and an automatic turnoff. So i guess back to the great gaighting badboy for you....

[@dahlrjay63]

Or rather... They 'claim" they're being gaslit. Since it's not like they can be trusted not to be manipulating on that front, as well. 🙄 Its stomach turning and very aggravating.

[@layceelay5382]

I've been gaslighted since I was practically a toddler. I was aware of it but didn't know what it was called or what to do. I spent the last couple years getting people who do that out of my life. Thanks for this

[@sweetyjones1756]

I used to start writing things down, straight after the incident.. then I could refer back to those notes so I can feel confident and sure in how I felt at the time.. its awful : /

[@Namanda425]

Oh I do this all the time, you see this bozos start young

[@dj912sent9]

The more you take a stand the more they up their gaslighting. Don’t be stuck in the trap that you can “solve this”. Walk away! Is good advice. Respect yourself enough. Gaslighting can really erode your sense of self.

[@hauntedwhispers8187]

My whole family is like that and I recently had to walk away from someone I called a friend. Best thing I ever did. And I walked away from my family years ago because they opened the door for me to go.

[@Bikerlover76]

Yeah I’ve found myself questioning everything I do,see and hear .... idk how to get away from this narcissist ,it’s really disturbing how much I’ve allowed this person to make me second guess my very existence. It’s Embarrassing

[@Taladar2003]

I agree. I thought the suggestion to confront the manipulator in the video was not good advice in any but the mildest forms of gaslighting.

[@Justone-xo3jd]

YES that's what happened to me also

[@TurntUpShawtyTV]

@@hauntedwhispers8187 Did u go homeless... Like did u just up and leave not knowing where you are going or was it a process. If so what the process?

[@izawaniek2568]

Trusting yourself and listening to our body and allowing ourselves to come first and do what feels safe for us is crucial to start healing. Thank you so much.

[@annettepittman5219]

Coming out of a 26 year relationship that was based on gaslighting. I just found these videos. What a help they are to me! Thank you so much.

[@RavenMadd9]

My family .....why I keep my distance

[@tommygunn6901]

Same here

[@CurthasPvP]

very difficult when its your family

[@candiceyoung-raabe5460]

@@CurthasPvP yep

[@hkchipper]

Well, that's a tough one, and I don't think my tactic against gaslighting does not sounds pleasant but nasty at the very least... If you are aware of being controlled or cornered, then act like you are out of their control, or make them taste their own medicine by turning the table (by speaking like a lawyer) against their theories (e.g. If they claimed that you are crazy, then you could either say "yeah, you too!" or "Yeah, that's all because you are making me crazy!") because one of the things they are trying to do is to manipulate you by blame shifting. (Think like playing squash against your opponent, and always be prepared to defend yourselves like a defending lawyer.) If they try to throw their first punch or even kill you because of that, then call the police and don't be afraid to throw them into jail for dear life, perhaps a legitimate, self-defensive way to cut ties in their relationships and survive. The gaslighters are controlling but impatient witches, not even bitches. My mom is a gaslighter, unfortunately.

[@TrasherBiner]

I found the Gray Rock method to work really well against family. The moment you are told you are being "really boring" or that "you used to be fun" or that "you are not feeling enough" means that it's working. You can fully disconnect from family, but Gray Rock makes you feel a lot more sane when having no other choice but to be with them.

[@celeste1121]

I am currently in a relationship where I was questioning what form of manipulation was he using towards me, and I have found it! This is exactly how I am feeling.. every morning that I wake up I ask myself “what is my purpose for today” “how can I better myself for him” “who am I really” I am always torn between my thoughts because he has made me insecure about my boundaries, and decisions.. people like this hate boundaries the moment I say “I’m not putting up with that” he turns with a mock of me saying that or a mock of me reacting to it.. I have told him I feel like “dirt” the way he puts me down and he makes me question my mental stability a lot.. I have also learned that the minute you mention somewhere they are wrong.. they make you feel you are crazy or that they never said that and they make you feel like now you can’t trust yourself, and I honestly just feel like complete shit at that moment 🙁 I really need help healing myself.

[@davidshapley3469]

My mother is a master gaslighter. I figured it out decades ago and let her know I was having no more of it. However, my brother never got free, never was able to move out on his own and be independent. Big issues are now arising in his awareness of his situation. I'm sending your links to him. Thanks!

[@blackqueenlatoya8030]

My sister and mother is a gaslighter

[@natashamuchena8610]

Same. I don't know how to get out. The gaslighter never acknowledges that they are wrong. How did u overcome it. Please share.

[@davidshapley3469]

@@natashamuchena8610 it's not that hard. You are staying in the relationship because you want something from that person. You have to stop wanting it and you are free. Do you want attention, validation, acceptance, understanding, resources?

[@subg8858]

The music of bob marley speaks to this subject in quite vivid detail if you listen carefully. The thrust of his message essentially is how africans had been gaslit and how to deal with it spiritually and materially. I highly recommend it as a source of strength and inspiration for those facing these issues.

[@subg8858]

Check out his track 'who the cap fit' for example. His last three albums survival, uprising and confrontation are particularly relevant imo

[@bsimpson639]

Really interesting! I’ll check that out.

[@melinacadman3715]

Grew up in a physically , emotionally and mentally abusive household. I was gaslit like no other. They were never satisfied until I caved in and agreed that it was always my fault. I would try to walk away and my mother wouldn’t let me do I would try to move her then she would blow it up to my dad saying I punched her.. crazy. Finally out of the house, getting my own place and starting to reconnect with myself again. Thank you. I’m done feeling insane and small!!!

[@andrewpratten]

I remained firm and made it clear to her that i know what was said, even quoting her, and that she's changing her story in order to justify herself and avoid taking accountability or responsibility for her actions. However, the fact that i call her out doesn't change anything, as her response is either silence or changing the subject or being obstinate.

[@darthwes3]

I know this life. You can't help someone who doesn't want help; the silence/changing the subject thing is maddening as well as further abuse. Sounds like we have a lot in common; BPD?

[@rkaylor5769]

Oh man, that's my ex right now.

[@mikeb4708]

That sounds exactly like my wife

[@DOCDOGMA]

yes or provoke and esclate ....

[@amandafisher5294]

That happens to me all of the time with my husband! We are separated for the 3rd time! I have known things weren’t right from the day we got married! I’m filing for divorce!

[@tennisfrk123]

It’s important to find a supportive friend cause I have been gaslighted by people who I was asking about the gas lighter

[@JohnPKING-nj8nc]

"It’s important to find a supportive friend cause I have been gaslighted by people who I was asking about the gas lighter" It's pretty common for that to happen. You start to realize why certain types of people cluster together. In case you haven't heard of "flying monkees" that's the term commonly to describe those other parties who reinforce the toxic gaslighting dynamic. It's triangulated gaslighting - kind of like the difference between bacteria and viruses.

[@maryt7959]

Read books online . About coercive control and that book won’t lie to you !!

[@ruebencristobal7790]

Why are girls like you so common?

[@sirenachantal471]

One of the dangerous things about gaslighting is that it can lead to a victim to commit suicide. When parents put all of their energy into belittling their kids - with contempt, those kids grow up hating themselves. Nobody talks about this. Would someone please discuss this?

[@tennisfrk123]

Talking to a supportive friend is very important in these situations.....one who will believe you and tell you the other person is wrong so you can get your power back.....been bullied and gaslighted all my life and am currently most likely getting gas lighted by my boss at work....people are cruel

[@StephSancia]

I've just STOPPED a gaslighting conversation for the VERY 1ST TIME in 18 years of being manipulated by a flatmate ! Whoa, I've only just found out what it's all about and I'm losing my mind at times ! Phew, Much Gratitude Julia

[@hayleyfarley9669]

Writing down resonates with me. I find it is also useful to go back and remember the facts as emotions in the 'moment' impact my memory days or weeks later. Also, taking a stand. For me this is most important as I feel like I have voice when someone is trying to silence or change my 'voice'.

[@barbibutton9619]

That's a great idea. TY

[@Aislynn775]

My older sister has classic NPD & she has used smear campaigns, gaslighting, control-tactics, all the usual things for years. What I'll never understand is how my family could stand by & watch this, or even join in. How will I ever trust anyone again?

[@billieteggers2661]

Lisa they're probably scared to stand up to her because they don't want to become her next victim. A bit like the playground bully who seems to have lots of friends.

[@leecurtis6354]

If your family treats you terribly, move to another town or city

[@barbibutton9619]

That's sad. Hope you are finding resolution- to thine own self be true. Best of luck to u

[@TJ-th1bo]

Just do you and trust Yourself. You will be awesome, I promise.

[@popo-yq5je]

@@leecurtis6354 yeah..i agree wiht you

[@lanitana100]

My mom had made this her new habit over the years. Sucks because we love each other a lot, and we're super close. I told her shes been doing this to me for years and she said "well you should be used to it by now then!" 🙃 So she acknowledges it, and says I'm weird for not being okay with it by now. This is really hurting me, I never pictured her being like this. She wasnt always like this......

[@dolorsarmengol6404]

I am so sorry, I think that I have suffered this too from family and friends

[@keishadennis389]

I just want to say thank you for posting this series on gaslighting. It’s most definitely an awakening moment for me. I appreciate and love this videos. Thank you again Julia.

[@diething1]

I was talking to a guy that tried to make me doubt my memories. I told him to get out of my car right now. At the time i didn't know he was manipulative but i have great confidence in my memory.

[@forjusticetruth943]

I just found your channel... what I appreciate that is different about your channel is that you dont just throw information out there, you give solutions along with it... its helpful to know the signs of being gaslighted and manipulated, but its not really going to help someone who is currently being gaslighted; what will help are ideas on how to protect themselves. So thank you for sharing this❤🙏 very helpful for me!

[@whotelakecity2001]

These days, I voice record everything because if I question what was really said, I can always replay it. Also, at times when gas-lighting was happening, I could go back to those moments and pin point exact words and manipulation behind it.

[@G2thesecondpower]

I'm starting to do the same thing. My ability to "remember things correctly" was recently questioned, so I decided to record all our conversations on my phone out of self defense. I've been living in a gaslighting relationship for 12 years without knowing it (I knew something was wrong, I just didn't know what to call it) Finding out about gaslighting and it's different forms is leading me out of the fog I've been living in for many years, thankfully!

[@Bikerlover76]

endlessummer -I find myself starting to do that sometimes too .... I’m tired of being told that something wasn’t said when it clearly was, I’m tired of questioning my sanity

[@queenofthebutterflies5212]

Brilliant strategy 👍

[@Bintang221]

I started recording things too!! Because when they lie or find outrageous excuses to their behaviours my mind goes blank and I can't think. I don't know what to believe anymore. Recording helps to remember.

[@AShadeOfYou]

I have been doing the exact same thing and every time I go in on a dog walk because people are crazy and they try to make it seem like they’re the victim even my manager where I live I rent here he does not want to be recorded he always asked me when my phone is in my hand are you recording and I always tell him yes I am and it pisses him off that I’m recording he always tells me to turn the recorder off I do not have his permission I told him I spoke to an attorney and they told me as long as I’m on public property I can record I’m doing it for my own safety I was told that in my own Apt. if I have cameras recording and people come over I legally have to notify them and tell them they are being recorded as well as the telephone, however if I’m outdoors walking around I could have my phone recording in my hand and that is perfectly legal and I suggest everybody does it

[@DawnCook852]

#4 Take a Stand. I had already confronted the gaslighter before finding your channel and what you stated was in line with how I handled it. Even to my final gesture with my hand to let her know I was done and she was dismissed as I walked away. I took back my power. Was it effective? Absolutely!

[@donnae2013]

I confront him constantly but it does no good. Insanity is Setting in and defined by expecting a new result every time you do the same thing.

[@brooke5395]

😂 One of the BEST moments is when you get this big, obnoxious text and you reply "not taking the bait. Hope your day gets better. Turning the phone off now." I'm telling you... it's satisfying. Like pulling painter's tape off and finding no bleed. Here's the truth in that scene - whether you bite and get into a 5 hour long battle or turn your phone off, raise a finger and move on in your day - the end of your day is going to have the same outcome with this person. Once in a while you may even have a decent outcome. They get tired too. They tire out faster if you let them corkscrew alone. So, keep your peace if you have an out. Try to remember that this person is UNWELL. Nobody in their right mind behaves this way. It's hard to be angry with someone that is sick. 💙 Keeps you sane with that perspective too.

[@phoebeherco]

That's it! I am crying inside! I thank God for you, Julia, and your videos! I finally know what has happened to me. Please continue to create contents like these. You never know whose lives you might be changing. I rarely comment on KZbin videos but I just can't help it, Julia, these are all mind-opening. Keep it up. You inspire me to continue my dream of becoming a Psychologist/Psychiatrist. Thank you. Thank you. ❤️

[@Lenzer50]

Thank you for this, I did this to people my whole life not realizing what I was doing, gaslighting is a form of mental abuse and I hope people stop.

[@trainertroyyoga]

I'm so thankful that you made the series. You just explained what has been happening to me for years. Now I can have tools to implement to keep this from happening to me again. Thank you so much I never heard of this term before but it explains everything I've been trying to resolve in my life.

[@ItsMeNanaD71]

I've just found you & I'm so very thankful. The last therapist I went to, after being kidnapped & attempted murdered, gaslighted me bad, only I didn't know what it was. I just knew it wasn't right, but I wasn't right at the time. Since then, I refuse to go to another. You are a breathe of fresh air.

[@mikhailkalashnikov4599]

Wow, such great info. I've been "figuring things out" on my own over the years, but this video has really confirmed for me that I did the right thing by walking away (for the sake of my own sanity/quality of life). It's like that feeling when you're fumbling around in the dark and stumble on the light switch- let there be light. Thank you.

[@ouroboros1895]

I knew I'd like you the moment you said 'deal with crap' in the opening speech. I am learning boundaries now, and am dealing with gaslighting at work. I started calling my boss out on it before I even realized. Thank you for this video. It validates my feelings, and for the first time in my life I actually stood up for myself, and I feel proud for standing strong. This video also validates that I am doing the right thing. Thank you kindly ❤

[@MoKa444]

thanks for your videos Julia! They are super helpful and I love them! The strategy that resonates with me is calling them on it when it's happening... I did this a few days ago, and it's empowering, and I didn't back down from my truth. I seen in the moment what they are doing... instead of not acknowledging it rather than thinking back later and being mad for not saying something at that time. Yay! Small win for my soul : ))

[@caterinaf5663]

This is exactly the information I was looking for - thankyou for a well put video. Im struggling with this at the moment and really appreciate the clarity youve provided

[@BellaZella3000]

My sister has gaslighted me for years though I always remained firm in knowing what I heard and never second guessed myself - i began to question her mental health. I believe she is narcissist. However - I don’t have self doubt, I do have immense resentment and rage towards her for doing this to me for decades. When she does gaslighting, it makes my blood boil and it takes me several days to calm down.

[@oneineuniceson9148]

These comments have me in tears, in remorse I feel this sense of validation. I feel like I’m finally not alone in this, it’s not just me who is confused of my own reality, it’s not just me worrying of younger siblings due to gaslighting of parents, I’m not alone. I tried telling myself that but I really thought I was. I have a lot to heal. My mother is a MASTER manipulator, she has manipulated her boyfriends, police, social workers, therapists.. I am so scared for my younger brother but I know I will do my best to allow him to feel validated and give him the tools he needs to break free. I am so scared for him. These 16 years of my life have been terrible, I wish my mom could just realise what she’s doing, no matter how much evidence She’s always the victim, I’m a monster for suggesting that she does things wrong. Im a monster for calling things as they are, such as not telling a 2 year old to shut up crying, validating herself in the same things she makes me feel guilty for, leaving me with worn and torn clothes and shoes and making me feel I was ungrateful, telling me she buys me loads of things when the last thing she bought me was years ago.. all these excuses, all these years of telling me I was a monster when she was just projecting herself onto me. Gaslighting me for being upset over her lack of sympathy when I was going to COURT as a 12 year old who had been abused. I’m finally realising how disgusting of a mother I have, she portrays this lovely life to others like she’s this perfect woman and it’s so frustrating when I try to explain what she does and she puts on her nice voice nice face nice attitude and makes out like I’m crazy. There is so much anger built up inside of me, and it’s all her fault. I don’t know how to forgive her. She is disgusting.

[@CherbearAnn]

Sooooo good and perfect for what I’m going through right now. Oh man, so very powerful. Thank you Julia!

[@izawaniek2568]

This is great advice, Thank you Julia. You are saving my life. Healthy boundaries and all the tips from this video. We must stop the epidemics of gaslighting! God bless you!

[@mymojorisn]

Thanks Julia. Keep it coming!

[@andrewpratten]

I called her out on it and stood by that.. no apology was forthcoming till some days later but, the best moment for that had pass.

[@Harper_Bro888]

Never had this happen to me until I worked for a boss who started gaslighting me and making me look bad infront of others at work by minimizing what I said, interrupting me, accusing me of doing or saying things that were absolutely false. All this started after I stopped relations with him. Being treated like this incessantly and not being able to defend myself, I started breaking down until I was a shell of who I was. As I broke down and minimized myself to protect myself and worked 12 hour days, he removed all support from me, talked about how incapable I was to others, pitted coworkers against me, I bane Incapable of deciding because I was constantly questioning myself. If anyone is reading this and is in this situation please leave now. It happened for 6 years until I mentally and physically broke down and it has been a year of therapy and more trying to heal myself and build back my self esteem which I had before this situation. If I left as soon as I saw the warning signs and understood what gaslighting was I would be in a better place mentally, socially, physically and definitely financially. Know your worth , trust your gut and do not let anyone take your power. Much love and support to anyone struggling in any capacity with a gaslighter.

[@zyphertheartist4280]

God bless your heart!! I really needed to hear that I'm not being crazy. I've been gaslighted by my sister for my whole life. It's time to take my power.

[@user-dq2ym1nn9k]

same. I need to get off this merry go round

[@netjavier7559]

Hi there ma’am!! It is a blessing to be able to watch your vids almost everyday... it inspires me to have more control over my life.. thank you!

[@mihaelapostea1674]

Walking away. Sadly some therapists use this kind of manipulation. Imagine they know all your weeknesses and use it against you.

[@Speaktok]

I have found that sadly, I am married to someone that went to counseling that reinforced being horrible to me with gaslighting, narcissistic abuse tactics, to the point where I have been having to slowly get my footing back by doing things quietly under the table so I can get my feet back under me.

[@carlalb6182]

Speaktok oh honey I hear you this just sucks. I m sorry for all that you are going through

[@brandysmith3647]

How are you doing now?

[@sonny337257]

THANK YOU FOR A GOOD HEART !

[@AnimeBrosAMV]

Thanks a lot Julia this video helped a lot!

[@ruebencristobal7790]

Oh how girls open themselves for abuse...

[@kaytiephillips4918]

Amazing video. Thank you for your insight. I needed this today

[@elizabethfosterhall9834]

Julia- A lot of what you have talked about in the two previous videos, of this series, has resonated with me, in regards to my relationship with my husband. We have had a lot of moments that have left me conflicted, confused and incapable of determining if this has become something abusive that will not change. We most recently had an incident where my husband threw a pillow across the room because I wouldn’t be intimate with him. This came as a shock, as I was falling asleep, and we hadn’t gotten into an argument, nor was there anything that had happened as a precursor to this. He has done this once before, and afterwards he either won’t speak to me or he will yell and call me a bitch. This most recent time, I asked him to leave because he was slamming doors, and I did not want my three year old to hear and get upset. She has been witness to some of our arguments lately and gotten very upset, which I can’t stand to see. He refused to leave and told me to get the fuck away and to zip it. The next morning he comes to me as if nothing had happened, smiling and attempting to hug and kiss me. When I tell him that this behavior is not normal and I won’t stand for it, at first he responds that he could be much worse, he could be the type that parties or cheats, and I won’t find a guy out there that won’t get upset over sex. I stand my ground, and later that day we have a conversation. He admits to being manipulative and that is was wrong, but something didn’t seem genuine. I have been distant since, and at first he was being so attentive and nice, but now he has resorted to ignoring me and shutting me out. I am in a place now that, after 6 years going through similar, cyclical situations with him, that this is probably not going to change. Any thoughts/guidance? Thanks!

[@wendywoo7031]

Thank you, I'm in process of getting out of relationship with covert narc. He's finally got himself his new flat and moves out in 5 weeks. But now, as I thought would happen, he started the arguing again. He caught me off guard this morning, started going on about how badly I had treated him, how he had handled things so much better than I had bringing up things from the past that were twisted to make him the victim. I initially got caught up, but then, as i observed him, I just said 'wow' , he said 'yeah wow, I've been thinking about this stuff'. Me 'yeah you really gave haven't you' in an incredulous way. Then I said 'I'm not doing this, I didn't want this row ' he said he didnt want it either. As I walked away, I said 'yes you did, you enjoy all this, I see that smirk on your face. I know what you're doing' and walked away. I have blanked him completely if I have to be in the same space, I'm just not looking at or talking to him. I thought I'd done the 'wrong' thing. I remained calm when I delivered my exit lines, while he may have made me feel awful, I certainly didn't react overly, I kept myself controlled. But still, I thought the exit lines may have given away my power. Then I listened to this and felt so much better. At the end of your vid, you've given the exit lines almost word for word, as the ones I delivered earlier. I hope I can stay strong. I may be shaking inside and consumed with wanting to defend myself, but the voice inside that used to be so quiet is louder now. I can hear it even as I'm reacting and can pull myself back. For me this is progress. I'm glad now that I used those lines as I exited the interaction. He now knows for sure that i see what he is and what he's doing. That may change things a little. This is the first time I've told him I see him as what he really is. It could backfire, but I didn't think about it at the time, I was simply fed up of watching him enjoy my misery. I guess I should take that as a sign that I'm developing a better sense of self and better boundaries?

[@hanchee6806]

My family did that to me. Every time they try to tell me I am crazy. I just walk away. They always try to make me feel bad about myself .

[@lucibloom5966]

Mine do as well. Every interaction is about making ME the problem and telling me that what I am trying to confront them about about never happened and I just need to focus on the positives and sweep everything else under the rug. I no longer have any contact with them sadly, but it's the only way I can stay sane.

[@CurthasPvP]

is there any way to make this person realise what they do is wrong? the more i try the crazier i look. its happening within my family and i cant stand to see the ones i love behave in such a toxic way. really hurts me honestly.

[@ghjjrees6975]

My gas lighter is my mom and it is getting worse and worse day by day it's at an all new extreme and I don't know why. I tell her all the time that I see what she's doing, but she just explodes with anger. Thank God I can see her for what she is.

[@terenasimons5247]

Number 3. Not worth being in the fake friendship anymore.Had a so called friend that would use spiritual/new age BS to disregard my feelings and never apologise or take accountability for her actions. Instead it would be projected back at me as if i wasn't conscious or spiritual enough because SHE didnt think anything was wrong. I would ask for mutual respect, she would divert this to being needy. Yet im the one who stopped talking to her for a year or so???!!! She recently tried to come back, but same old shit. finally im done, i could finally write my last message to her and express myself without fear of being judged because i dont care anymore. Thank you and thank you subg88 for the Bob Marley ref love the "who the cap fits" song but didnt fully pay attention to the lyrics till now!!!

[@amygauna7104]

You are amazing! You just woke me up !

[@Altiebella]

Omg! Thank you so much for this topic! Its empowering.

[@CVNmahdlO]

Mine is work related. I became so broken at work & Im angry because this has happened to me. Im going to need a lot of work done to heal. Im in touch my the director of the company to fight back. Im back at work today for the first time since becoming ill. I have anxiety but Im also ready to fight back

[@brittanyw7546]

Thank you so much for your video! I bet you are helping so many people ❤

[@sarathuc-an8125]

Thank you. Julia !!!😮

[@psycherevival2105]

I just ended a whirlwind 9 week relationship. I have been studying narcissism for a while because I am recovering from it (covert) and also seem to attract them. Imbalanced people attract imbalanced people right? I need to watch that. Anyhow, I am SO MUCH BETTER than I used to be and I quickly told him that certain behaviors of his were not working for me. I am definitely guilty of allowing things to move way too quickly, though I think he quickly realized that I was not that easy to manipulate, and so he is already out of my life. Amazing! Hooray for boundaries and self-trust!

[@johnmorris4347]

I certainly glorify God for this particular video, it really hit home. I am being done this way on my job, and it is very traumatizing, but because I have a better understanding of what's going on, I now know how to handle it better! Yes, this video is right on target, and may God continue to bless your life for videoing this! This is much needed.

[@candybriggs4350]

Great advice! I'm new I'm subscribed because Julia is very smart and can relate to topics and appreciate her knowledge. Thanks!

[@libo6368]

im glad i saw this video

[@loa81]

It is a terrible injustice for a victim who becomes aware of this abuse, but cannot leave or terminate the relationship with the unhealthy person. I was so blessed to be thousands of miles away from my very toxic family having only my spouse, church, and children as negative influencers while my heart and soul began the long process of healing. The toxic spouse and church are no longer a part of my life. My children were young enough to learn healthy living. They are well-balanced, successful adults now.

[@juliecohen478]

perfect, caught the problem 4 months into the friendship, crazymaking behavior creating doubt.

[@bbfreetube]

Writing it down is the best way to begin to get out of this. Did it years ago with my ex. I got remarried and kept a journal of our discussions because he was a much better person, but tried to manipulate here and there. As soon as I found this out, I kept my diary and used it as needed. This is what was said, this is what you said and this is what we agreed on. Any questions? He had no tool left when he found out I was doing this. He then realized what he was doing was not going to work and was much more agreeable and honest.

[@divyanshsh]

Thank you for this video

[@HD-mg9ru]

Absolutely phenomenal video. Thank you for creating this Julia. 4 months ago my son was losing his apartment due to a girl he met. He got kicked out of his house due to her alcoholism. I drove up there to help him move. The girl sat in the car didn't lift a finger but she did get drunk and blacked out. She asked me unusual questions if I'm close with my son and if I miss him? 3 days later I don't know what she said to my son. But my son had me kicked out of his new place. I was devastated and I'm still devastated. And now 4 months later this person is asking for an apology from me and she's saying if she comes to Socal and visit she's taking separate cars which is shaming me and gaslighting me and I can't take it anymore. It's causing me to be really detached and I'm walking in the fog. I'm trying to work through this it's not easy.

[@MenInChrist1911]

Wow you just explained my life

[@erikkohl]

Oh...What a difference your videos have made in my life --Joyful and entertaining, information delivered in clear easy-to-grasp practical terms...depth of insight is totally astounding! I appreciate your remarkable efforts and all the time you put into your presentations. Deeply Grateful!!!

[@juliakristinamah]

This made my day - I'm really grateful you've been finding this information helpful. Thanks for taking the time to say so!

[@lyannajordan1997]

This too , I also couldn’t find deep specific examples and experiences that other people had to be sure of myself. When I saw some of your videos it helped me gain my reassurance and understand what’s going on a bit more. I appreciate it Julia ! Keep doing what you’re doing.

[@agnesgosali4868]

I mirrored the way he gaslighted me and he played the victim. When he started blaming me I was like, "No, this is your doing, it's not my fault. I'm innocent here, I'm just calling you out." And he proceeded to abuse me physically because I told the truth. I didn't even know I was being gaslighted (didn't know there was such thing) all I knew that he was wrong and he should know that he was wrong. Some of his gaslights actually got me but most of the time it didn't. So dear my past self, you did good. Thanks for surviving it so that now I can enjoy this peaceful life.

[@Rob9mm]

Super advice. Thanks for pointing out to not take this lightly.

[@scottrc5391]

I've had this happen numerous times, particularly on first dates, because people have seen me as an easy target. I was called crazy and a drug addict by one woman who I now know was projecting all of her own issues onto me. I was a "drug addict" because I didn't (and couldn't) finish my meal, which I had only ordered to be polite, and she knew full well that I had already eaten dinner (at 5 PM, while the date was meant to be a casual late-night snack kind of deal at 9 PM). I didn't particularly like another, who spent the entire date interrogating me, then acted upset at the end, saying I never attempted to get to know her or ask her questions, when I in fact did make a point to get her talking, despite the fact that each time I asked her something she acted annoyed by the question. Though in my usual manner I was polite and treated her cordially as with any date, it was clear to her that I wasn't wild about her, and so it became MY problem and I was called weak and spineless. So now I usually brush off the first insinuation that I'm doing something abnormal, but if it happens repeatedly, I make it clear that I won't tolerate the gaslighting.... but in the heat of the moment, I find it more effective to just tell them that I don't allow anyone to "piss down my back and tell me it's raining", as the old saying goes.

[@Marcelube]

Thank you very much, Julia 🙌💕🍀🙂

[@katehagno1184]

Thanks for clear explanations. I've been stuck in it, due my father attitude towards me....most of my life. Then my children became bullies to me, copying these tricks...

[@larisamadolimov9130]

You're awesome! Thank you so so much! That what's I need to hear!

[@elkerad1437]

Thank you so much! Be very blessed!!!

[@eevie]

Once you catch on to being gas lighted you take back control. When it happens to me now even in public i will raise my voice...not yell...and tell them what a loser they are for even attempting to gas light me. Shuts them up and they stay away. :) KInd of a self righteous anger....yeah :)

[@RickyCorona]

Awesome Thank you Julia

[@anitaroempke7310]

So great full I found you!

[@alansmith8264]

GREAT MESSAGE.

[@missbowlifewithlaura8316]

I find this extremely useful and use it to educate other, thank you. I find the final step the most empowering although this can antagonise the perpetrator, be very careful and look for a quick exit!

[@mistydelahay9255]

Thank you so much.

[@HOLLYTERCERO]

This is very helpful!

[@RavenMadd9]

Sharing this in a bpd couple group on Facebook thank you

[@prolifefilm8127]

Thank you

[@noelafflick9945]

I've known what gaslighting is from 2013 so it's impossible to alter my perceptions. Albeit with induced pressure via attempted trauma induction it can be difficult to stay on track but all the same I always get mentally back on track fast

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you, great video:-) very helpful.

[@alp4111]

My wife gaslights me. When confronted, she says its me who is lying. She also called me a narcisist. Now i cant sleep as I hear ringig in my ears due to stress but she seems to be doing just fine.

[@brianmarshall3931]

The simplest thing I ever found was to keep an accurate up to date journal. Noting what was said and done - kept her from twisting things around. Really, really made her mad - when she would say something happened and I would bring her into the office and show her the page I had written an accurate version on. She finally gave up and left....

[@wiseones7773]

I really feel like gaslighting is a huge factor of suicide.... I dealt with it

[@blessedarethebroken3089]

WiseOnes777 Same

[@hiocchii]

Yea it is.....

[@TurntUpShawtyTV]

Its the source of all this madness on this planet! Bond together brothers and sisters now is time

[@sanctusignis9746]

I had suicidal thoughts when married to my narc ex, depression and anxiety melted away after we separated. THAT was my sign,and I filed for divorce.

[@barbibutton9619]

@@TurntUpShawtyTV amen

[@JC-nw4km]

Thank you!!!!

[@eugeneoglesby860]

Thank you so much

[@remediosnaturales8107]

Love your videos !!!

[@karynb7781]

Here's one. If I share anything I am re-considering, I hear 'Don't YOU THINK that's a SIGN?' Didn't you figure this out? Then follows a direct point-by-point directive of what I SHOULD do. In the end, all my thoughts or plans are faulty and I should make choices EXACTLY like they do, follow them. Never again. Done. I'm changing their name in my phone to 'Gaslighter Warning'! Then It's RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE, the second they call up.

[@Heli4G3]

Thank You!

[@cylestine]

I believe I've been gaslit almost all my adolescent and adult life, but the worst of it came recently from the father of my child. He still wants to be in our son's life, and he does take good care of him. But I'm really unsure on what to do from here. I broke up with him because I finally had enough. I stood up for myself and walked away, but since we have a child together that we both want to take care of, that complicates things. I really don't know how to deal with this.

[@lawrencesims2777]

Thankyou young lady thankyou

[@YD-uq5fi]

Here is what I learned that I wish I had learned before 50 : If an interaction with a person leaves you in an unpleasant, confused state, beware. If it happens a second time, avoid them.

[@patricialeonard3588]

After not talking to my ex for nearly 7 years he recently contacted me. He was really abusive while we were together. Not even a week in he started gas lighting me. Thankfully i recognized it right away. I just started my masters in psychology program. It takes allot of work to get back to trusting oneself.

[@rondae7121]

Patricia Leonard Yes, it is a journey of ups and downs, but so worth it. I hope you are doing well. I hope the ex hasn't wiggled his way back in. Take care of YOU.