THE MOST HARMFUL BEAUTY TREND THAT NEEDS TO BE STOPPED

[@ElizabethGuillot]

I was at Ulta yesterday and heard a mom tell her daughter, “Remember, make up is fun. It’s not to make us pretty.” I was so pleased, especially because half the store was tweens looking at skincare they don’t need.

[@Call-me-Al]

That attitude and goofing around with pretty colors helped me enjoy my bare face a lot more. Because instead of my face just being annoyingly different looking from my peers (looking too much like my abusive parents that I cut contact with), it became my canvas for fun and happiness that even without pretty colors on was good enough. That's why I think makeup can be a big positive part of a kid's teens or even preteens, if their good parents help them focus on the fun. On using it as a canvas for joyous art, not as something you owe society prettiness with.

[@maryeckel9682]

Yay mom!

[@daylightsleeptight]

An important realization for me was that not everything is a problem that needs to be solved. My face is just my face. My body is just my body. I can just exist and that's enough.

[@jeanams07]

This!! It took me a very long time to just be happy with myself and love myself, inside and out. Do I still have bad days? Absolutely. But I feel lucky to be alive, and to cherish the body I have and that gets me through each day, is part of that. Some people aren't so lucky.

[@Kori-Barrenger]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@Stranger_podcasts]

As probably the only fourteen year old watching your videos, I absolutely LOVE when you talk about this sort of thing! I don’t have TikTok, and honestly don’t intend on getting it, because I already know how damaging it would be to my mental health. Now, my mental health isn’t perfect now, but I can only imagine how it would deteriorate after video after video of random 17 year olds telling me I’m ugly just because I have freckles or don’t have perfectly straight teeth or perfect skin ALL the time. I personally have been on a journey, for a few years, of just accepting myself. Not comparing myself to others, not calling myself ugly. It’s been pretty hard. But now when I look in the mirror, I smile at myself. Because I know I’m beautiful, as vain as that sounds. But I know I’m not perfect, nobody is (no matter how hard they appear to be). So called “imperfections” like freckles and acne or pores are what make us human, not having a filter on 100% of your videos. Now, I have a very specific opinion about filters, but I’ll leave that for another comment. This is the first comment I’ve made on a video in I think forever, but Kackie, I just LOVEE your videos and am so happy when you shine a light on these sorts of things, because it honesty makes me sick how now ALMOST no one is actually trying to promote individuality or self love anymore, instead they are making you insecure so that you can buy something they will get a commission off of. Now, I did not intend this comment to be three paragraphs long, but seriously, you and three other KZbinrs are the only I truly trust on this platform. You are amazing, and I’m so glad I found your videos!

[@kackie]

Omg thank you!!! Knowing even one teen is watching my channel makes me feel even more of a responsibility to promote sanity in beauty. And it's not vain to call yourself beautiful. No one else can tell you you're beautiful enough times to make you believe it if you don't believe it yourself.

[@carolesmall-diop2333]

You are amazingly articulate. More power to you!

[@thesavvyblackbird]

It shouldn’t be considered vain to love your looks and believe you’re beautiful. The patriarchy doesn’t want us women to realize how beautiful we all are and be confident. Because we’d be strong and unstoppable. So many late stage capitalist markets depend on people feeling bad about themselves and believing they don’t deserve better. Women wouldn’t work for pennies or believe they only deserve to stay with mediocre men and not have anything other than being housewives and mothers (Ballerina Farm entered the chat). Women wouldn’t spend their time and money focusing on being attractive to the male gaze. We’d realize how we’re being taken advantage of and fight back. So it’s important to keep us divided and distracted. Too many women don’t even realize how much feminism has done for us and what rights we have because of them. Like having a bank account and our credit cards without permission from our fathers, husbands, or the oldest male relative. Being able to own a home and inherit assets. Our rights aren’t guaranteed and are being stripped away. We all are beautiful just the way we are. We all deserve love right now. I’m glad you don’t have Tiktok. It’s a cancer and is designed to make people unhappy and sell us things. It is run by a hostile foreign power (China) who seeks to destroy us from within by making Americans believe that we are all divided and powerless to change our country for the better. Keep hanging on to your self confidence and self love. You are beautiful and confident, and I hope that only increases little sis. ❤

[@thesavvyblackbird]

I’m 46, and I really needed to hear this today. I’m saving this video on Pinterest for later.

[@deborahedelman2659]

What a smart and mature gal you are Eden...pretty name too!!❤

[@marshawilliamson8602]

As a former educator, I wish there were an army of you in our classrooms teaching self-love and coping strategies. 🌸🐝

[@sydneybristo22]

Agree❤

[@tokejanssen7539]

Yes!!!! ❤

[@lunamercurious3]

Ooh! Kackie! There’s your next side hustle or full time job!

[@jelemil]

⁠if only such carers were as well compensated as influencers

[@absinthe-crow]

I saw one, SINGULAR video of a girl showing all of these horrifically sad tiktoks she had been getting for the past few weeks. They were all the new "trends" on how to tell if you were pretty or how to improve yourself. The caption was her saying how ugly it all made her feel. I felt rage pooling into my stomach. I wrote out what I wish someone had told me when I was younger, which was something along the lines of: "These new trends and insecurities are made up by people and corporations to profit off of people- or they're made by people who want everyone to look the same. Ive never once looked at someone and thought that their nose was too big in proportion to the rest of their face. I look at older women with wrinkles and find them to be incredibly beautiful. Im unsure of when the world decided it had the power to dictate how we as individuals felt about ourselves, but I was sick of it. I was finally happy once I stopped giving my time and money to people who fed off of my "flaws".' The sheer amount of girls that had messaged me after to thank me for 'waking them up' or helping them realize that they'd been stuck in this despair cycle was so disheartening.

[@kackie]

Pinning this.

[@jenrosejenrose7417]

It reminds me of the utter joy/rage that is Jax's "Victoria's Secret" song. I had an aha moment a decade or so ago when I realized that I literally never once looked at another person and wished they looked more conventionally pretty or skinnier or anything but their own self. And started to give myself a bit of that grace. It was freeing.

[@gamingmama360]

@@jenrosejenrose7417 Wow I needed to hear what you said because it brought immediate tears to my eyes. I never think that either and also after reading what you wrote I realized that if someone is wearing clothes that don’t fit right or something, I never think there is something wrong with them- I always think there is something wrong with the clothes and how frustrating it is that clothes aren’t made for very many body types. Thank you for saying what you did, I think a weight has lifted off of me.

[@maryeckel9682]

But you helped. You got through.

[@K_W_31415]

I work in responsible AI / ML Ethics, and honestly my first thought with the uploading full body photos to FaceTune is that they're trying to get training data to be used in other systems -- I'd definitely check out the Terms of Use for it and see if they make any mention of selling data to third parties, because I could totally see them be trying to use those photos to try and make better versions of tools like MidJourney or even video generation like Sora. These systems have notoriously struggled with accurate representations of humans, especially with details like fingers and teeth, so they might be trying to capture more full body photos to try and get more 'diverse' training data to try and correct some of that

[@kackie]

Thank you for making me feel sane

[@patriciagoodwin1922]

Amen to that!!! We need this, everyone needs this. I am a fairly new subscriber and she has blown my mind in the best way. Sweet Mother!

[@jeanams07]

This was my thought too!

[@lunamercurious3]

Thank you for this explanation. That’s along the lines of what I figured.

[@MindiB]

I was bullied as nerdy and ugly from about 4th grade until graduation from high school-almost a decade of not-fun. As Kackle points out, it was largely not by the most popular kids (who didn’t need to be mean to get attention) but the wannabes. The abuse was relentless and I genuinely believe I would not have made it had social media been a thing at that time-The only way I hung on was that I could leave school and my bullies behind at the end of the day. This toxic process, now terrifyingly magnified by Internet steroids, needs to be discussed often and loudly. I love that you are drawing attention to the cruel nonsense that is undermining so many young men and women today.

[@kackie]

Internet steroids. WOW.

[@MindiB]

@@kackie LOL: Yeah, I was trying to come up with a catchy phrase for the way online discourse, however crazy, seems to swell until it takes over! Not an unmitigated boon, the WorldWideWeb.

[@ccl6192]

Agreed. I was bullied too. I am endlessly grateful that I am a crusty old Gen Xr and there was no internet during that time.

[@jenn8179]

I'm afraid for my 2 young daughters. I'm holding out on getting them phones and social media. We talk a lot about confidence and what makes people beautiful...inside and out. It's going to be tougher on them than it was on me. 😬

[@Muh-Rang]

This is probably the most important video you've ever made. Big props

[@cattastroficka196]

Yes! Confidence happens solo! I never knew how strong I was until I got stage 4 mouth cancer. During treatment I was 2 hours from home staying at a Hope Lodge. I had chemo and radiation for 6 1/2 weeks. I had to get to appointments within the hospital, radiation, chemo, nutritionist, scans, tests, doctor appointments all with no help from anyone. I had to know where in the hospital I needed to go(University of Iowa), what floor, what wing, where the elevators were, all while being sick, exhausted and scared. I’d get back to my room at the lodge and just be amazed that I’d done it. It was such a confidence booster for someone that didn’t even grocery shop without her husband!

[@kackie]

Omg 😭😭😭

[@LeafyK]

Thanks for sharing. This story helps me better support my loved ones going through stuff that I can't empathize with. Have a wonderful day

[@heavenj7]

Hugs!! My split with my husband started right after my neuroendocrine tumor was removed…an intense surgery my health could be better but I’m here! And he left me while I was sick…when I was always there for him and his family.. my first feeling was at 5o with health issues? Who will want me? It’s a work in progress, I’d rather feel this pain ALONE, then feeling alone with him sitting right there! 💕

[@AmyKaylasVegas]

I hope you are healthy now ❤

[@cattastroficka196]

@@AmyKaylasVegas yes, it was 2015 so I’m 9 years cancer free. Thank you. 🥰

[@victoriarose466]

Oh girl! This all day long. I was so bullied growing up (I was called ugly ALL THE TIME) to the point that I am 48 and still believe with my whole heart I am ugly. No amount of losing weight, gaining weight, clothes, makeup--nothing will change that. And when I got pregnant I wished for a boy--because I had no clue on how to raise a daughter to not feel ugly--or look like me. I cried tears of relief when I found out I was having a boy. That being said, this Olympics has brought me so joy--seeing these INCREDIBLE women athletes, in every size, shape and color absolutely killing it. I started following Ilona Maher, from the rugby team and wish I had a daughter to show her--look, look at this stunning woman who is a complete rockstar absolutely blowing everyone away. So, maybe the "beauty" influencers need a reset to the athletic community so we can all change our definition of what it means to be a woman.

[@sebumpostmortem]

If it may help you, one day I woke up and I discovered, literally, it was a revelation, that I was pretty. Not orthodox pretty (I guess that' s why I could not see it?🤔) but extrange-unique beautiful. Kinda non human, more like a creature from the forest if it makes sense. *I WAS 42* I wish you the same. It will happen, trust me. 🧛🏻‍♀️🖤

[@victoriarose466]

@@sebumpostmortem ❤️

[@MelTheMuppetslayer]

When I need to reset, I like to watch art videos, color mixing videos. Crafting videos. Woodworking videos. Metal fabricating videos. Stuff that visually inspires me

[@erinlee7216]

Same

[@kackie]

Love this ❤

[@yensid4294]

same

[@idalarsson4729]

I’m so glad and thankful to be a Gen X. Not having my formative years destroyed by social media. I feel for all of the kids, teens and young adults having all of these micro trends shoved down their throats. Being told how to look, how to be, when they hardly know themselves.

[@alisalavine1052]

Same! I had no idea this was a thing. I have 2 milennial kids, 35 and 31 and now that I'm thinking about it, I am realizing how much SM has affected them. My daughter is 4'11", a super successful nurse, and weighs 105lbs. A couple of years ago she starting going to the gym with her size 2, XS body. They told her that she had 30% body fat. That literally, 35-37 pounds of her weight was fat. That isn't even possible. It's just insane.

[@TracyD2]

Same. I’m trying to think back when I was young and I have to say none of this would have seemed fun, adventurous and exciting to me.

[@ccl6192]

You are right. The past wasn’t perfect and we had bullying too. I was bullied for being “weird”. I was and still am a bit of a goth. I love books and was a “smart kid” and actually enjoyed studying. I like black and Halloween and anything spooky and punk rock. I’ve never been perky a day in my life. I’m very introverted. Most people at my private school where I was a scholarship kid picked on me for this endlessly. They set my locker on fire. They prank called my house constantly. They tripped me in the halls and through food at me in the cafeteria. They called me morticia and snapped at me. I spent my lunch hour in the library because of it and didn’t have a single friend at that school. If I had ALSO had to deal with social media and the internet on top of that it would’ve been soooooo much worse. As an adult I am good friends with a couple of women that are perky and were cheerleaders and played soorts and were popular in high school. We are adults now and none of that crap matters anymore.

[@idalarsson4729]

@@ccl6192 I’m so sorry that you had to experience and endure such faul treatment growing up. Kids can be so cruel! My heart breaks for younger you😢.

[@ccl6192]

@@PaleOpal21 ooooof. You too. Catholic school really was awful sure I got a top notch education but my only friends were the teachers. Eh. It all turned out ok for me in the end and I rarely think of HS or any of those people now. I don’t think I’d have come out anywhere nearly as well adjusted if I’d have had to contend with the hell that is social media on top of it. Glad to be Gen X.

[@mackenziehaley456]

Thank you so much for this❤. I’m a children’s book illustrator; I just finished illustrating Dolly Parton’s 2nd Billy The Kid book. It took me 15 years to get into the industry. I used to think I would feel like “I made it” when I became a full time illustrator. But when I was able to quit my day job that didn’t happen. Then I told myself it would be when I got bigger book deals. Then when I made the NYT best seller list. But the goal post keeps moving. I used to love Instagram, but I have toxic relationship with it right now and when I log on, all I can see currently is how my work is lacking compared to others. Your message of getting offline, and finding your own inner approval and self love resonates so much. I know my situation is different than what you are discussing, beauty and beauty standards, but I feel like the seeking external approval thing is still the same. I just wanted to let you know you helped me out today. Thank you again.

[@Labbfreak]

I think this is very much related to the idea of toxic perfectionism, even if it’s career focused and not appearance focused. I had a similar experience with body dysmorphia and thought I would finally be happy and lovable if I just got to a particular weight. Of course, even when I hit those metrics, I didn’t feel good or happy. Learning to accept and value myself as I am was a big part of breaking that cycle, as well as being really aware of what I allow in my personal and digital space.

[@tlou3291]

I recently discovered your channel and I adore your content. When beauty KZbinrs step “outside of their lane” it rubs people the wrong way, but I love when creators are willing to have a video that doesn’t perform as well for the sake of communicating something that they are passionate about. 30k people will learn about new makeup at Sephora and 15k people will be inspired to seek self actualization. Thank you for being you ❤

[@ElessariaD]

Even though I am older than Kackie, I feel like we all need and "Auntie" Kackie in our lives! I don't do TT, but toxic EVERYTHING is EVERYWHERE and we can all use a boost of encouragement.

[@erinlee7216]

I grew in a wonderful, loving home. However, I had that one brother who made fun of me during my most awkward yrs. This went on for 7-8 yrs. My sister told me, it’s a good thing you can’t remember everything he said. Well, I am now in my 60’s, and I still suffer from his abuse. I have symptoms of verbal abuse that may never go away. As I write, I am tearing up. People can tell me, you’re so pretty all they want, but I have never believed it. Thank you so much Kackie for this video!!!❤❤❤

[@kackie]

Not that I'm an expert, but EMDR helped me IMMENSELY with a similar issue!

[@maryeckel9682]

One of my brothers called me vain because I constantly stared at myself in the mirror finding everything "wrong" and desperately looking for anything "right" about my face.

[@abbyehrenstein2550]

As a youth (22) who has been following you for years, Your advice has never steered me wrong. I’m still struggling with being myself but your videos always help and affirm me.

[@jodieguess3002]

“Put down the misery cube and go touch grass!!!”

[@Whtpaper]

Had to stop at the convo about uploading a full body picture. Between the Brandy Hellville documentary (the owner wanted full body pics of the employees) and the app (instagram, maybe) stating they can use your photos any way they choose - we are getting into a dangerous space. It's icky and these conglomerates are making money off of you and your images. The example of actors having to change their contracts, so their image isn't used digitally without their permission and/or getting paid for it also comes to mind.

[@bunny_love21]

Kackie... I'm 28 years old and I had NO IDEA I needed this video. Today began as a good day, but now it's shaping up to be a freaking great day! Thank you.

[@krazykittielady]

As a therapist in a middle school currently, this right here is one of the major issues I see,anxiety, following it. Listening to these poor boys and girls comparing themselves to peers is so heart breaking. Working on self-esteem is daily sessions. This was a wonderful video. Best I have seen all year! Thank you for getting this information out there.

[@caitlinstark9321]

So many young people need to hear this. I'm just figuring this out, or really internalizing it in my forties.

[@forrest1979]

Same here, and truly accepting and loving myself is the hardest thing I've ever done.

[@nich347]

I was just talking to my husband about how the younger generations have an obsession with perfection in a way and that's what's becoming part of their social down fall. Third spaces are dwindling and things like extroverted hobbies or going out dancing aren't really a thing. We brought up that as Millennials and having millennial cringe, it allowed us grace and space to grow, to figure ourselves out and build up real confidence. I think that it's really sad how now a days people don't want to do things like go out clubbing or eat dinner alone because it's almost like all eyes are on them with social media and there's no space for awkwardness.

[@MelTheMuppetslayer]

Hi Kackie, been a sub for a few years now I believe. Just turned 40 a week ago. And this right here gave me chills. 19:55 let’s not waste the life we have loving the us that isn’t the here and now. Like you, having my kids made me realize that I too am worthy as you don’t want them questioning their worth. So why question our own?

[@katydidknits]

This is everything. Like, can we just get this played everywhere in the world? Please? A big part of why i don’t want my 12-year-old on TikTok is that I don’t EVER want them to lose their unique sense of self.

[@jodieguess3002]

As a 44 yo I will be revisiting this several times as a reminder/hype video that it’s okay to be myself.

[@lyneae3786]

And to find out what lipstick that is.

[@clauacl]

This is such a nice and thoughtful video. As a twenty-six year old, "log off" is the best advice. I basically don't have social media anymore because it all made me miserable and spiral into self-consciousness , even when it was just for sharing my paintings online. Not everyone needs to go as far as deleting their accouts (I did, personally), but lessening or adjusting the time spent online, and what you spend your time with, makes such a big difference. The algorithm is just designed to bum you out. I didn't even have TikTok and I don't watch that kind of beauty content, but those "makeup blindness" and "you're ugly because--" videos just started popping up and giving me a terrible vibe. I don't know how kids and teens are going to deal with this kind of self scrutiny.

[@kackie]

Oof makeup blindness. That's a video...

[@Gorditavont33se]

I am 37 but some of the appearance-related comments I received in my youth still hurt like I got 'em yesterday. I really really needed this video today. And hugs to you regarding your divorce--I'm sorry you've been through it and I hope you are feeling better.

[@makeupboxfyi]

I respect you on SO many levels Kackie! You have either been to a really great therapist or are naturally very introspective. The way you broke down how to recognize your triggers and asking if those old defenses still service you is quite astounding. Most of us wonder through life never asking these questions and feeling trapped my emotions that no longer serve us. We as people are quite a wonder wouldn’t you say. So beautifully flawed and complex. I really love these videos Kacie! As an 80’s baby myself I think it’s important to leave these messages for those who come after us. We may seem old to the 20 something’s now🤣, but we harbor great pearls of wisdom for them to find at shore when they are ready🤍

[@kackie]

What we have on our side is perspective. I won't say WISDOM because anyone can be wise but time on earth gives you perspective.

[@makeupboxfyi]

@@kackievery true 💗

[@yohoobler]

This gen xer wants to hug you!!! This is fantastic advice for ALL gens!

[@squeakyangel17]

Kackie….this video…it’s just so good. It legit feels like a free therapy session. As a fellow millennial, this is not only incredibly relatable, but also provides some beautiful little “Aha” moments. Especially at 26:00 - we seek constant validation as adults bc as children, we were praised only when we were performing well. 🤯🤯🤯 Loved this video. ❤

[@linnearoyale]

it’s WILD out there! my kid never even used pronouns before they started play school at 3.5 and within the first month started coming home crying because the other girls told her she wasn’t beautiful for wearing her play clothes, not dresses. I didn’t think less than 4 years into parenting I would be trying to discuss such big concepts with my daughter. it took a few weeks for her to bounce back. she now tells the girls at school “that’s your preference, this is my preference”

[@laurenj432]

Wow what a mature what to handle it! I wish I would have had the phrase in my voulait at four years old, would have helped a lot!

[@Maranatha4455]

I feel this. I got divorced at 36 myself and went down a spiral for a hot minute. I never thought of it how you put it as a self confidence killer, but you are so right! I've been off social media for years now and have never felt better. It's so toxic and now i live with my own thoughts of myself and don't compare myself to others. Game changer!

[@marien168]

Girl, I feel ya!! I have a 6 year old daughter and when she's old enough to be on the socials, I am showing her this video! It's so hard to remember your own wants and needs in order to be happy these days!

[@kackie]

🥺🥺🥺

[@scottmyers2222]

The school psychologist (day job) that I can't completely shut off is delighted by all the content and delivery here. The superficial observer in me thinks you also completely mastered "French girl makeup" here.

[@Samantha-dv4je]

I’m literally in deep hardcore therapy for this because I realized my entire identity is “Do people like me?” “Do they think I’m pretty”….im 25, I grew up with 2014 makeup videos and made myself more conventionally attractive to other people so they would like me. But here’s the problem; sustaining yourself on the energy of being liked my others is, well, NOT sustainable 😂 Because what happened to me is in the last 3 years ALOT of people started not liking me, for weird reasons that aren’t fair (family drama) but it RUINED ME. So I’ve had to rebuild my entire foundation of who I am. NOT fun. I’m not fully recovered, I’m not 100% sure who I am separate from others adoration, but I’m getting there. The good news is I will make sure I raise my kids as best as I possibly can to never everrrrr put their identity or self worth into the views of others. Don’t do what I did kids, because you can’t live off the approval of others. Even if you manage to get it, it WILL run out. • • • All this to say- I think I need to watch more of your videos. I think you’re good for me to watch, you’re confident and independent. You inspire me as a woman. Thank you.

[@Labbfreak]

Beautiful video on the value of individuality and self love & the profit sought by those that exploit and/or create insecurities in us - either paid by attention or $$$ I’ve thought a lot about something I recently can across (forgot the source), but basically that saying no to things (by not giving time/attention) means having the time & attention to spend on things you value. I ask myself, does spending my time/energy here mean I’m saying no to something that’s more important to me? Relevant offline too but especially helpful with scrolling through content.

[@lizgreer6888]

I have been wanting to change my algorithm for a while and wasn't able to figure it out. I'm sick of what's on my feed constantly. Thank you for that. I go to a campground in the mountains of NH. It's the most relaxing place. There's almost no cell service, so all you can do is relax and be in nature. It's a complete detox and I always come out of it feeling better. Nature and being away from phones is truly the best medicine.

[@trime7791]

WOW lady, you have just said an earful of what I needed to hear *right now* You've touched on a lot of feelings/experiences I have had or am having now. Thank You for this. When you mentioned you'd be happier if you didnt take things personally, it reminded me of a book I just read that was recommended to me. "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. Agreement 1: Be Impeccable with Your Word 2. Dont Take Anything Personally 3. Dont Make Assumptions 4. Always Do Your Best. This is a short read, 138 pgs, large font. Again thanks for this today

[@AshleyRebecca]

Yaaaaa I’ve never been on TikTok and never will. I’m so sad the younger generations have to grow up with the internet.

[@mirandaleschke]

Thank you for being one of the most thoughtful, articulate, and kind KZbin channels consistently and reliably over the years. You produce truly beneficial content. I am 30 and I had enough pressure and bad feelings about myself in middle and high school. I constantly think how hard it would be to be younger right now. I hope this message reaches people who need it.

[@Criticalbeauty411]

When I was younger, I remember a therapist telling me to stop sh_ulding on myself bc I would constantly use those words as a way to discredit anything I ever did. It took me a lot of years to realize how toxic that was. I can’t imagine employing other people and robots to do it also! Such an important message thank you for taking the time to talk about it!!

[@Beautyonthebrain_]

As someone who has gone through my feral chaos goblin phase, I can honestly confirm that once you stop giving a fuck what others think of you , your confidence and ability to trust yourself goes sky high. Thank you for the reminders. Love you Kackie.

[@homemakerhobbit4372]

Ever read the Uglies book series? Yeah, we're living in it.

[@kackie]

No 😮

[@caseyelizabethan]

I also struggle with excessive perfectionism, and ruminating on how I am perceived by others. It is important to think about the role social media can play. Great video as always (I cried) thank you! ❤

[@sarahissom260]

Oh… I started tearing up listening to this. I wish I could give you the biggest hug. Self love, self acceptance, and self actualization is not a linear path. HLP used an image recently of growth as walking up a mountain - you can’t go straight up, you have to take circles and switchbacks, so of course you come across the same obstacles, but from a different perspective. You have spoken about this idea before on your channel but I can tell this is a lesson you’ve had to learn again, and deeper. Been there. It hurts, but with the pain comes deeper healing. Lots of love to you ❤

[@Emma-se5wm]

Great video, Kackie. I've noticed a huge shift in myself by saving any beauty-related content about products/reviews/techniques/aspirational trends for when I'm at the gym, either on the bike or elliptical. It's my "reward" for doing something related to health but I also feel less covetous, impressionable, or insecure about my features when I consume that content while multitasking with exercise. I have noticed my friends and family members more glued into tiktok as a time-killing activity seem more critical about minutia yet weirdly affirmation-seeking. (Content like this video, I try to watch or listen to while working ASAP. Gotta hope the algorithm blesses creators speaking about self-acceptance and conscious consumerism).

[@cloverrosfield]

i can't put into words how much i love you kackie!!! you're so right about how sitting with yourself and doing things that are hard and don't give you that instant dopamine hit is the only way to truly understand yourself and to appreciate your own beauty. like i've spent a lot of my life wrangling with insecurity and wishing to be beautiful like other people, and one day it kind of clicked that i would never be happy thinking that way. finding your own passions, creating to practice individuality instead of simply consuming, being forthcoming to yourself and recognizing that you Are in fact lovable despite the things that make you "cringe" and dislike yourself are processes that take time, but like you said, the journey doesn't end once you think you've hit perfection! we're all fighting the constant pressure to be like people on the internet and it's so easy to forget about life beyond what others expect of us. i hope we can all unlock that feeling of unconditional love that you have for your child and direct that towards ourselves and forgive ourselves for being mean when we are creatures who must make mistakes to grow. thank you again for this incredible video series, thank you for your vulnerability and thank you for your insistence on sharing beauty content as an outlet for exploration and art!!!

[@aliceinwonderland5070]

I agree so much about doing things on your own. For the past year I’ve been going to lots of gigs on my own and it’s the best! My music taste is stuck in my teenage years and it’s been so much fun going to gigs on my own and just letting go and being myself without having to worry about what anyone else thinks about my dancing! It’s been really liberating and I feel so myself when I do it!

[@jennbaldino]

Your content is such a breath of fresh air. As a makeup artist and mom sometimes I struggle with the combination of teaching my daughter that true beauty and confidence comes from within and makeup is just fun

[@emilyschrodek9688]

Digging on this consumption series. I also really like that you consistently wear that shirt! It shows us we can wear the same damn thing!

[@kackie]

YUP. This one is probably my favorite 🥰

[@kellywatts6227]

Thanks for sharing that Kackie, I'm an only child I'm weird and ok with that, I spent my childhood just picking a new discovery for myself anytime I got the chance. I think we could all take back a little bit of ourselves from negative outside influence. Notice short form is pushing this rubbish heavily, probably because they conveniently have no time to explain their damaging logic.

[@Hikari-58]

Honestly? This might be one of my favorite videos you’ve done. The whole ending segment really resonated with me. I’ve had a list of traumatic incidents happen over the last couple years. I’m not in anyway 100% nor will I be fully ever. Yet the hardest, saddest, but most profound thing I came to terms with throughout that time was that I am *the only one* who can truly be there for myself. I started to grow a new kind of inner strength that I didn’t have or at least not in the same way and more and more I’m so in tune with, almost like a radar, picking up potential BS in people or situations and intuitively turning my mind off of being influenced or coerced by those variables and simply doing my own thing. In the context of internet content, within moments I can identify a piece of media as toxic, performative, superficial, what have you and immediately just - “Nope, goodbye.” Cutting out so much noise that would stir up those insecurities again and it is. SO nice. Compared to other ppl in my life who are more chronically online and attach much of their self worth to it, it’s such a fascinating comparison for how simply one can find joy in oneself. So I’m very grateful you’re trying your best to give light to that way of thinking for a demographic who’s never really been given that as an option. ❤

[@earlgreyknits1178]

I wish more people would talk about this. I have an 11 year old and already dealing with bullying is such a job. By the way, your lip color is so pretty! :)

[@marthaeley3403]

This video was posted months ago but wanted to say I have so much respect for blocking the word 'sh0uld' from your comments! It's a word I actively try and remove from my language and thoughts, following a bunch of therapy, so I love that for you and your little Internet space❤

[@etank0729]

I would like this video 1000 times if I could. THANK YOU. Seriously, thank you for making this video and speaking all that truth. I can't imagine what it'd be like to be a teenager today in the age of the internet. I'm so glad I found your channel. You are my new favorite makeup girl on KZbin!

[@PellNell]

Hope you and the kiddo are doing well and thriving post-divorce. I see that you’ve seemed so much lighter and confident in recent videos, and that makes me so happy for you. ❤

[@taraunger8110]

That was very well said for younger folks as well as people that need reminding, so thanks!

[@beastghostt]

I did not expect to CRY when I clicked on a beauty video, but what you said about your son hit so hard. I immediately thought about my stepson in the other room and got choked up.

[@theahaberman8189]

This is the best video you've ever made. Thank you.

[@gregg2213]

I listened to this twice through, and some parts more than twice. The value of what you have said is pure gold to my ears. Thank you!

[@MusingOnBeauty]

I 100% agree they’re trying to fish for more data when asking for pictures. Probably at least to train AI because they’re starting to lack material to do that, and possibly to enhance people recognition softwares. And they make it very click baity by playing on insecurities. This is a horrible, horrible business.

[@kackie]

Yes. I hope I didn't sound like a tinfoil hat person. I really think they see AI kind of getting worse because it's a snake eating its tail so they're trying to mine new data for it.

[@PlanningNerd]

@@kackie 100%!

[@LadyJBeauchamp]

This is 💯 💯 💯 and I wish everyone would watch it! Training your algorithm isn’t that difficult, just tell it you’re not interested in shite that makes you feel bad!

[@itsbrimeeks]

Okay but KACKIE this lip color is SO GOOD on you!!! What is it?!

[@zivprof]

I'm 23 and this was something I really needed. Thank you Kackie ❤

[@yona_witch]

I love my therapy time with Dr. Kackie

[@kaid2025]

Thank you, Kackie. Always appreciate that you are looking to have people feel good about themselves as they are. You solhud (unscramble the letters) keep it up. 😉 Love ya!

[@__.Mari.__]

Really enjoyed this video, you hit a lot of points that I've been thinking about according to social media trends. Also, love the self acceptance and the work that you're sharing that you've been doing for yourself.

[@taramccrawlutz7684]

This hit me straight in the heart today. Thank you for being you - with your big beautiful brain that articulates how color works and how to learn to truly love yourself! In case no ever tells you this, you are making the world a better place. You opened something up in me that will lead to change, growth, and acceptance. I will walk through the world differently and it will impact others positively. And maybe they will do the same.

[@deleria010]

I came here to hear Kackie's opinion. I stayed here to hear her wisdom. Self-confidence in a nutshell. So great!

[@ashenwalls3558]

I really appreciated stumbling on to this video. 💚

[@jillbravo5252]

I don’t want to post anything personal, so I’ll just say that this deeply resonates with me. Thanks Kackie ❤️

[@heyprettykeepsmiling]

Honestly, we need more videos like this. It would be so refreshing if people understand that beautiful does not equal pretty. Beauty is such a complex thing.

[@JenLee77]

I was called “ugly”by this 6th grade girl who was a major bully. This was back in the late 80s and it messed with me…. Sad to say…. I’m glad you’re making others aware of this…. ❤

[@MelTheMuppetslayer]

Sorry for the multiple comments. Really think this is a great video and wanna help boost it into the ALGO because it’s a much needed message! Thank you for being you and expressing yourself!

[@kackie]

Thank you ❤❤❤😊

[@MelTheMuppetslayer]

@@kackie you’re welcome 🖤🖤🖤😁 loving the direction the channel has been going in recently, listening to you talk about colors makes my brain light up!

[@lizschott799]

I wish I could give this 1 million likes. Self love is so so important, and something I think we will all always being working on, but damn - this was powerful Kackie. I will be coming back to this again ❤

[@mixchixbeauty2492]

I absolutely love your message in this video. Man I need the reminder to start hearing my own voice again. I have been feeling so lost since becoming a mom I have no clue what I want. In my late 90’s early 2000’s middle/high school experience, a lot of people were called ugly in my neck of the woods. In fact, there was a 2000’s slang word for it, a whole song in fact! Fugly, you ain’t got no alibi you fugly! Sadly, I remember guys calling girls fugly when I was in high school in 03 and girls calling other girls that.

[@gypsybelle637]

Again, you are so kind. Looking out for others. I have eight grandchildren, and the struggle is real. The internet is such a scary place at times. We, and by we I mean so many, find our worth in what others think or say. May I just add, it's so easy to be mean , when you're anonymous.

[@brookie_cuqui]

Hey Kackie! I'm a 37-yr-old East coaster. I've been loving your content more and more and more. Thank you for the wicked actionable coping skills, basically. Learning to love myself gets me to a tender place that makes me realize how harsh not loving myself actually makes my world. We're all just kids, some of us just got older. "Small bouquet of issues." 🤘🏼🕺🏼 I'm an only child (of a single mama) and I'm so glad your son has someone as creative as you as his mom. His imagination better be outta control! Much love, girl. Thanks for putting this out there.

[@arctaex]

This video is such a breath of fresh air and I hope that we can share it around so more people see it. I truly believe that everyone online can benefit from it! ❤

[@heatherLcharron]

I love listening to your channel and some others for either relaxing dissociation and/or learning skills to do my makeup the way I picture in my head, and a yuuuge part of it is not wasting money on products that won't work for me. Some of the creators you posted on here scared me and I'm glad things like these don't pop up for me! Yiiiikes! Also glad I've decided not to have children. This world is becoming terrifying. I know you'll do your best at protecting Simon and he's lucky to have you ❤

[@alannajoanne]

My god I love you so much. This is everything that goes on in my brain on a daily basis and you articulate it all so beautifully. I'm sending this to all my friends.

[@kackie]

Thank you Alanna!! 🥹

[@SoGladFor]

Love you - when it comes to beauty content you are the messiah! Thanks for being such a thoughtful human. ❤

[@fighttheevilrobots3417]

I'm a fat woman. The cruelty of fatphobia is almost unbearable and has some times when I was younger, actually been more than I can bear.

[@Vochknode]

I'm sorry you have to go through that. I hope it gets easier to ignore the shallowness of people and media and blah blah

[@lincebersot]

your child is very lucky to have you as a mother. thank you for this video.

[@Hannah-wh3vo]

YES. All of this. I took a week off consuming anything created by another person that wasn't music. No reading, no films, no telly, no KZbin, no podcasts, no news, no scrolling on my phone. Nothing. And it SHOCKED me what a fucked up and revelatory experience it was. I thought it would be hard but my brain threw an absolute shit fit. And I'm a whole-ass medicated and stable 36 year old with a therapist and - what I thought was - a tight control over my relationship with social media. The extent of our enmeshment makes us vulnerable, tech capitalism is one of the great evils of the modern age, Tik Tok is the rotted viscera of an insatiable demon that wants to eat you alive.

[@kackie]

Wowwwwwwwww this is incredible thank you for sharing

[@Meli27w]

This is so so good. I struggle (I think we all do) with the perfection stuff. Thank you for the reminder to SELF LOVE!! It can be so hard & I can't imagine what the young people of today are being subjected to!!!! Kind of a scary thing going on with social media take over lol not loling.

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

3:50 YES, great point, Kackie, it used to be about fitting into your school and rather tiny community, just having a nicer hoodie than the popular girl in your town. The internet helped bolster the thing of real value, in person interactions in school. And now, it's about adhering to international standards and being cool on the internet world, the thing of real value is considered the online popularity. That is a major shift that I think cannot be good for any developing adolescent

[@fyern]

I knew I needed a present mind to watch this! Glad I put it off until I could give it the attention it deserves :) Thank you for sharing your hard-earned wisdom ❤

[@lashleedobson7465]

I love this video so much and fully intend to show my 8 year old daughter when she is older. I worry for her every day because of what I see on social media, etc. My husband and I always say "comparison is the thief of joy" and I think that ethos fits your vibe here as well. Love your channel and appreciate your authenticity. P.S. I noticed you have a Rhode blush on your cheeks, and just so you know I am anxiously awaiting your thoughts on that product. I literally won't buy anything until I hear from you on it. You're my gold standard!

[@CarrieHambleton-r6i]

Mid fight with my husband a few weeks ago, something clicked, I told him I needed a minute. I grabbed a notebook, thought about WHY I was mad and not just that I WAS mad, wrote down what I thought and then sent my husband a voice memo. And then we talked about the fact that what I was mad about was that it hurt my heart that I thought he wasn’t considering my feelings. Then he told me he literally didnt think it was something I’d care about and It wasnt about me a slight. And instead of immediately getting dismissive I listened and realized I was hurting my own feelings for nowreason. All of this is a long winded way of saying I feel like I’m exactly where you are, but you’re a few year of therapy ahead of me. Im trying really hard to care what I think too

[@denisefeldman2810]

I think this might be my favorite video that you have ever made! Amen!!!

[@kackie]

Aw thank you 🥹

[@yamilletrivas8041]

We are here for this content!!! Make-up is the window dressing for our own self-love and self-care. Also single mom Kackie is radiating with true love - the love for oneself. I am forever cheerleading for you . Related but unrelated - the Facetune outfit comments you shared on Insta had me dying. I LOVED both of those outfits so much... and was shocked with the AI feedback.

[@irazorn3712]

Love this video. I recently saw an interesting counter trend video to the harmonizing features where the creator filmed her individually 'ugly' features to then show how they combined create a beautiful harmony in her face. I thought that was cool.

[@kackie]

That seems sad but maybe it's how to reach them where they are...

[@patriciagoodwin1922]

Sweet Mother, thank you Kackie, I would love more videos like this. And I am sorry for all you have been going through, same situation over here, self esteem takes a hit, totally get it. Social media has become a monster. There are some good ones though, Matthew Hussey is here on YT, he addresses relationships and so much more and wrote a book called Love Life. Something he said really resonated with me about self forgiveness, he was helping someone deal with guilt, he said: "you're not your mistakes, your mistakes arose out of parts of you that were trying to get their needs met, you're not those mistakes. What was behind those needs were not bad or evil, it was something trying to be okay or heard. You don't have to think anymore about it than that, you were doing the best you could with the tools you had. Now start giving yourself everything you were trying to get from everyone else". It is so true about trying to get what you need from everyone else instead of trusting yourself, everyone has been there. I absolutely love what you said about going outside and touching grass and beyond, beautiful!!!! Have a wonderful weekend Kackie and thank you again, take care, big hugs!

[@candyking13]

Thank you for this ❤❤. I have been on my own journey and have encountered successes and struggles.

[@sydneybristo22]

Ovation..... yes yes speak. Thank you! Also it feels great to know we are in the same gen bc i dont resonate as much with some younger gens. I hope that no matter what you choose to do in life that you continue being the thoughtful smart person that you are. It is always refreshing.

[@LauraChieko]

Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to put together and share these thoughts, as another millennial slightly bamboozled by the beauty content coming across my feed lately. I've been seeing a lot of (what appears to be) unironic "male gaze" make up?? In my hubris I thought we had gotten past that.

[@tuffonion]

i love that coral lipstick on you, looks fabulous! 🩷

[@staceydupre9664]

This is a phenomenal video. There are so many teens who need to hear this. I truly believe that the more time kids spend on social media the more mental health issues we will see in their generation. As someone who had self esteem issues and depression I am so glad that I did not have to grow up with this destructive junk content.