Kamala Harris Unveils Economic Proposal Focusing on Small Businesses

[@SindhuKoler]

My mornings are just made better when I get to start the day off, coffee in hand, laughing like an idiot at a closer look. You and your writers are really doing such a great service to the country. Keep it up. ❤

[@msjamesesq]

The Bible selling joke deserved WAAAAAY more laughter! It was gold!

[@Ford_prefect_42]

I agree! It was great

[@eschwarz1003]

IKR, not sure it registered. Levin saying to tRump "you go to church......." WHAT????!!!!!

[@JasonDeline]

Agreed, I don't think it was immediately obvious it was a bible

[@gnocchidokey]

also the liberty bell joke, peak dad humor

[@lonewolffisherman7092]

It would've landed better if it didn't look like he was holding a cheap daily planner.

[@feminist5641]

Funniest part of the monolog was ending with that terrible spackle joke

[@NotSoMuchFrankly]

He'll hear from the Jackals for suggesting spackle to fix metal.

[@gyrene_asea4133]

Funny but they missed it. Bell is Bronze(?) should have been JB Weld. Spackle doesn't work on metals, even for Walz.

[@sandseastars1]

time for surprise inspection!

[@mr.pringle8466]

He will release the Epstien list, just like he did his taxes that were under a forever audit.

[@prismpyre7653]

Lex Friedman pitched him an easy softball about that and he completely FREAKED OUT...

[@waterandafter]

Why hasn't Biden released it in the past three years

[@user-yo3vt7ft1p]

Exactly. Let’s vote blue and make orange the new fired!

[@danilooliveira6580]

@@waterandafter because there is no list, it doesn't exist. what people call a "list" is just a bunch of court documents that list a bunch of people that were in Epstein's circle through the years. but it don't imply any wrongdoing, Epstein was a rich financier, so of course he had contact with a lot of politicians and rich people. and this "list" is not a secret, anyone can look into those documents. the "secret client list" is just made up nonsense that came from people confusing what the actual "list" is.

[@user-zh9zz5ru6r]

@@waterandafter That sounds like made up BS - what's your source??

[@guyvizard549]

"...yelling at a Customer Service representative from Spectrum." My dad is 78, so this joke cuts right to the heart of me. Gotta remind him every time, "You know they record those conversations, right?"

[@WolfRamAndHart]

I was a bit confused...are they talking about Sprint?

[@RoryStarr]

Has JD Vance just never had to answer a question before?

[@sherinameless1618]

He has never spoken to a human being before, having just emerged from his pod a month ago.

[@leok7193]

A Marine that doesn't have a reason to go for a beer? Stolen valor!

[@user-yo3vt7ft1p]

Good question. I think he refuses to confirm whether or not he wears the same brand of eyeliner as Liza Minnelli…

[@joshuacraig9061]

That's what I was just thinking. What was the criteria there. If that's not proof of the brain rot in the Trump team idk what is. What made them go this stick picture come to life should be the VP.

[@busylivingnotdying]

I do not agree with Vance's "values," yet I must acknowledge his bravery in confronting and debating virtually anyone, ally or adversary alike. Naturally, if one is comfortable with bending the truth for election purposes, then, for example, assuring union workers that Trump will support them amidst their jeers could be done quite effortlessly. However, I wouldn't criticize him for showing up and talking to anybody, everywhere. That is actually refreshing.

[@stephenjames2951]

Bring back the fairness doctrine and the blocking of stock buybacks

[@kepler186f4]

In which century is America going to terminate the archaic Electoral College vote and enter the twenty-first century with just the popular vote?

[@user-yo3vt7ft1p]

Please. All it takes is a Constitutional amendment. But it can be done.

[@TriViuM2k22]

​@@user-yo3vt7ft1p as if any republican would vote yes on their parties death sentence.

[@roan9914]

Ranked choice vote over popular vote

[@jonmclaughlin4128]

The century in which two thirds of American states agree to ratify that Amendment.

[@joachimschoder]

As long as it allows Republican to rule the country as a radical minority they don't have a reason to support abolishing it. There is a good reason they make it harder to vote for groups that are likely Democrats.

[@SlinkyDaymaker]

[Aussies Against Trump] We stand with you America, in these strange troubled times, Vote Blue Mates, bluenami!

[@PAMELAPORTER-ci7mr]

We'll be happy to help keep our Aussie friends happy! 🤞

[@erikasmith946]

We love you australia.Thank you for your support. We are living in weird times in america. We're voting blue all the way down the line

[@HanSlowlo]

[Every person on this planet with a conscience who knows enough about Trump and what's at stake] We concur👍

[@HanSlowlo]

All tsunamis are terrifying, but something about one being red would make it even more so!

[@Elwaves2925]

Trump: "What's Biden doing?" I'll tell you what he's not doing, he's not playing golf.

[@prismpyre7653]

no he's laying around on Rohoboth Beach having a good 'ol time while his annihilation of an entire people continues apace

[@michaeleasterwood6558]

He had one weekend at the beach, sheez.Tell Bibi to quit with the killing@prismpyre7653

[@Jay-is2jy]

​@@prismpyre7653 No he's busy being president and getting things done for the American people... his annihilation of an entire people?

[@David34981]

@@prismpyre7653 Ah, another Russian troll who pretends to blame the US president for war crimes another country is committing.

[@user-yo3vt7ft1p]

Or pooping his pants while trying to stay out of jail. Let’s vote blue and make orange the new fired!

[@urkiddingme6254]

Nice one. "Just because you didn't read it doesn't mean you can't sell it."

[@brianjohnson5402]

You wouldn’t repair a bell with spackle, Seth. You don’t think Walz can weld?! Sure he can!

[@WyvernYT]

He's a middle aged guy from Minnesota. If he doesn't have his own welding gear, he knows someone who does.

[@heavymetalbassist5]

You wouldn't weld a bronze bell either. You would braze it

[@HandyMan657]

Welding cast iron is a drag, stick to the spackle. LOL

[@MadAboutBrows]

I can weld, of course papa Walz can!

[@DennisMoore664]

For Pete's sake, ya don't need to go through the whole welding process now. Heck no - just getcherself some tubes of J-B weld and in 16-24 hours that bell'll be good as new.

[@SaturmornCarvilli]

Seth knowing how the Spackle joke was going to land, still telling it and barely holding it together is what I enjoy about this show. Classic Late Night.

[@AndrewJohnson-oy8oj]

Sebastian Stan? They cast that gorgeous, gorgeous man to portray business bog-goblin?

[@cbpd89]

Prosthetics and make up can do just about anything these days 😂

[@canaisyoung3601]

They'll use prosthetics.

[@Lea-zf7lm]

I saw the promo and I didn't recognize Stan lol

[@Slickthecat1]

Worked for Charlize Theron.

[@onyxwolf13]

I'm so torn about it. I want to say he looks great in the makeup (as in the makeup is really good) but ... ew 😆

[@samuelloyd2540]

Fellow Jackals, it’s time for a Pointless Crocodile Fact. When crocodiles hatch, they have an egg tooth that helps them break the shell easier. As soon as they are hatched, the egg tooth falls out. (I think I just did my own version of Celebrity Baby Teeth.) This has been a Pointless Crocodile Fact.

[@Hadenufyet]

Birds too

[@sherinameless1618]

@@samuelloyd2540 You can't do the equivilent of Celebrity Baby Teeth until you make your bit both boring and lacking all educational value. Work on that. 😉

[@Cypresssina]

Piggybacking for a useless egg fact within an egg fact. Germans have a tool to crack a boiled egg, it's called eierschalensollbruchstellenverursacher

[@GrandmaLoves2Scuba]

Excellent post, thank you for the knowledge. 😊

[@jess_ismore]

Oh no, are you willing Animal Baby Teeth Flubs into existence?

[@Missunderstood103]

DT:"Where the heck is Biden?" 🙄:"He's busy being the actual President."

[@pollypockets508]

Exactly

[@David34981]

Something DT can't even imagine. The only thing he ever actually did was doing rallies for his base, golfing and watching Fox News.

[@remeshpanicker]

​@@David34981 DT only does rallies - at press conferences, weddings, interviews, outside courtrooms.

[@302Diane]

@David34981 Now, now. He also tried to overthrow American democracy. Let's be fair.

[@jeremysmith9694]

We all know that's not true

[@martinhumble]

While watching this, suddenly my sofa jumped out of the window. Please don't show clips of JD without forewarning. Please

[@Missunderstood103]

Oh no! Sofacide!😮

[@deborahwilson4684]

​@@Missunderstood103 Good one!

[@NathanEvans-lc8vi]

My God! Somebody Please Help Me!!!😮

[@GrandmaLoves2Scuba]

😂😂😂

[@CollinMcLean]

I'm laughing at the idea of Trump thinking he could win Minnesota. Minnesota was one of the few states that had the brains to tell Reagan "F*ck OFF" and Trump lost it in both elections.

[@mearl3977]

Thank God he's dumb af and makes the best decisions

[@encarnacionvillazana3270]

We fully agree with you, neighboring state to the north! 👍👍

[@stefanschleps8758]

God bless Minnesotans!

[@ayejay5603]

He says he can win California… actually he said he won Cali in 2020. He’s a nutter.

[@ottohart5542]

I was hoping he would pour a fortune into Minnesota.

[@jcoopes5604]

Don’t be complacent, check your registration and get out and vote 🗳️!

[@user-yo3vt7ft1p]

Let’s vote blue and make orange the new fired!

[@AndrewJohnson-oy8oj]

Exactly

[@jeremysmith9694]

Definitely not voting blue

[@joachimschoder]

@@jeremysmith9694 You might try to do harder. If you really think opening the comment section of a show you have clearly never watched and telling you support a fascist will "trigger the libs" then you are more desperate than Trump.

[@paulgibbon5991]

@@jeremysmith9694 Da, Fellow Americanski.

[@rojak225]

if trump wrote an OJ style book, the title would be If I did it, it's super legal and i did do it

[@ka-powUSA]

Trump Media down to $16.98 per share today, down from a high of around $80. Donny Jr is on the board. Pffft. What a joke that family is. Trump: Bad for Business, Bad for America.

[@Styphon]

Pretty soon we'll all begin receiving faxes pushing the stock in a pump & dump scam. "Fantastic penny stock with nothing but an upward trajectory! Get in now!"

[@Blodhelm]

Cretin couldn't make money with a casino and went bankrupt 6 times.

[@defresh4612]

“Hot dog sandwich” was delivered so well. 😂

[@peterbathum2775]

duh. who knew openly committing treason live on tv is a criminal action ?

[@joachimschoder]

That was one of the most interesting defense of his crimes I heard during his presidency: "If this would really be illegal he wouldn't do it in public"

[@jakegilbert8116]

I know right? Crazy!

[@nathanweast4397]

To borrow a quote from the founder of the Torgue Corporation, "HOW THE F**K WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT ILLEGAL OFFWORLD DEATH TOURNAMENTS WERE ILLEGAL?!"

[@coreymccoy1990]

@@joachimschoder

[@dipperdandy]

Yeah but when you're famous, they let you do it.

[@OscarSommerbo]

The Spackle joke is both, completely senseless AND funny.

[@wingless841]

My favourite thing to do in the monologue now is play "Guess the Writer" 😂😂😂

[@JOHNA.WILLIAMS-vv9ob]

Vote Harris Walz please Americans. Dump trump!

[@PimpDaddyDisco]

Not until they close the border. Ffs. Really?

[@trowawayacc]

Dump the trump!😂

[@user-yo3vt7ft1p]

Let’s vote blue and make orange the new fired!

[@rahalex231]

No we voting Trump the fym

[@kellycochran6487]

@@rahalex231 huh?

[@Takegat]

So wearing a man bun, listening to Zappa whilst messing around in hydroponics is my idea of a perfect retirement.

[@elenah9950]

The face Biden was making during the debate would have been mine in that position, as well. It has to be surreal that THIS is what millions of Americans voted for and continue to. His face says, "are we really doing this rn?"

[@JessicaGould-z9l]

Correction: We don’t put chains on our tires in winter in MN, that and misusing “ope” is one of the fastest ways to out yourself as an out-of-towner

[@stefanschleps8758]

You mean like mispronouncing Minnesotaope? 😅

[@leward7788]

you need to get this to "Corrections of the week" & become a jackal!

[@gnocchidokey]

What? What do you do about snow then? Are your snow tires just good for everything as-is?

[@leward7788]

@@gnocchidokey in my deep snow State, we used to be able to use chains but they chew up the roads and we went better snow tires, studded ones are an arguement

[@Drake5607]

​@@gnocchidokeyGood snow tires (not "all-season" tires, those are only ok in light snow) . They don't NEED to be studded, but it helps a lot!

[@adammartin2869]

Jackals gonna have a field day over "spackle".

[@sethie_shots]

Shoulda gone with JB weld. Old dudes use the snot out of that stuff

[@chezmoi42]

When we crack up here, we use Jackal Spackle.

[@WyvernYT]

Yep. That's metal; it'll hold longer if you weld it.

[@SugarandSarcasm]

@@WyvernYTI've seen another comment where the bell is bronze, so it would be brazing, not welding 🤷‍♀️

[@WyvernYT]

@@SugarandSarcasm It would! (That's a good point.)

[@demeter-the-great]

JD Vance is just painfully awkward. I didn’t know it was possible to have negative rizz but he has it. For every woman he tries to chat up, another one appears out of nowhere to reject him.

[@julianazaharevich]

I think Walz would know to use Bondo on metal instead of spackle, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he soldered it and you wouldn’t even see the beading.

[@georgelloydgonzalez]

I love it when the editors slip up a whole other segment after the monologue. It feels like a gift

[@mjjoe76]

To be fair, Walz sharpened the blades on their mower on his last visit and replaced that warped board on the deck railing before that.

[@cil923]

JD Vance: I too enjoy a frosty beer beverage. Every Republican voter: This guy gets us.

[@danielbrannon9513]

Trump always has to have a putz for a running mate due to his insecurities. He doesn't want his running mate to steal any of his shine, whether it's Mike Putz, or JD Putz. What a LOSER! 😭😡

[@user-yo3vt7ft1p]

That’s a good observation.

[@chezmoi42]

You notice even their names are nearly the same, Pence, Vance...maybe they both came from some Heritage Foundation running mate generator?

[@joachimschoder]

@@chezmoi42 If they come from a generator that generator badly needs some debugging.

[@salchipapa5843]

Which is all the more reason why we can't let Trump win the election. If he dies because of old age, then fucking JD Vance will be president.

[@bscats1]

Also, to have someone to blame WHEN he loses!

[@raradis]

All that Amsterdam improv paid off. The "uncle" is Oscar material by itself. Bravo, Seth! (You still make me miss Norm.. 😢 )

[@sherinameless1618]

The Papa John's coffin box joke was pretty good. Keep dissing them and you could get Pizza Hut to give you free stuff again.

[@irinaphoenix2169]

See - I had no idea what the hell it was.

[@The_Real_Grand_Nagus]

I didn't get the joke. What does that have to do with the Pizza Hut table box?

[@spiceyhotpot]

Good call out on Dump, who is either playing golf or sitting in his safe space on Faux or Fright Wing radio/podcasts not doing "interviews" or being on the trail.

[@holstorrsceadus1990]

This Jackal wouldn't use spackle to fix the Liberty bell. Bondo or JB Weld would be more appropriate

[@rowynnecrowley1689]

I'd say pretty much everyone with Spectrum is yelling at their Customer Service Rep.

[@wilsonicsnet]

I'm from Wisconsin. Vance is getting nowhere near my beer.

[@only1muppet]

I think I’m the reason they put the Liberty Bell in a case 😂 Back early 80’s on a field trip I put my fingers in the crack and took a picture. Security guards were not pleased about 10 year old touching it 😂

[@princessluna888]

Red and yellow squeeze sauce 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 hotdog sandwich 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jimi320]

Marlago doesn't have a basement. He has a hole behind the ninth T on his golf course that he crawls out of. He evicted a tortoise.

[@JanisOnTheFarmette]

Not spackle! Everyone knows it would be Bondo. 💙💙💙

[@markstevenson6635]

Or spray foam

[@misterroboto9999]

Or JB Weld

[@hirtisrandolph4843]

JB Weld, not spackle.

[@TheUluxian]

I like Presidents that don't have to check in with their Probation Officer every time they need to cross sate lines.

[@HomeOnTheEdge]

Disappointed that we didn't get Seth impersonating Niles Crane!

[@eddardstark5034]

I'm gonna be the Jackal that points out the only part of Fargo that takes place in Fargo is when Jerry meets up with Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare to arrange the plot to kidnap his wife. The rest of the film takes place in Minnesota.

[@cduncan3713]

Old Bonespurs picked Shady Vance because he sold himself cheap, he'll do whatever he's told to do. Plus T Rump can blame him when he loses.

[@katiemccready6140]

This had me in absolute stitches…despite the fact that it mostly featured SATAN…errrr…Trump.

[@user-yo3vt7ft1p]

Ye shall know the devil by his poopy pants and foul stench…

[@charleswebster2550]

​@@user-yo3vt7ft1p🤣👹🤣❤

[@r.s.2738]

Thanks for the Frasier joke!

[@MichaelSwirzewski]

I've fed heron whole trout I caught before. When they're hungry; they'll swoop down& beg for the fish when I catch one.

[@nannerz1994]

SEBASTIAN STAN??

[@accutronitisthe2nd95]

They put orange spackle all over his face to make him look more like Conald...

[@sweettony9359]

Let's see...Plaid shirt and jokes about spackle, Frasier, and soap operas. Really going after the AARP crowd there Seth. :)

[@oliviasimonich2386]

One of his 80+ fans.

[@sweettony9359]

@@oliviasimonich2386 I have my AARP card in my wallet!

[@NewMessage]

She is gonna smoke that glazed ham, live on stage.

[@jtilton5]

Sebastian Stan playing Trump? I hope they hired the same people who did the makeup effects for Brenden Fraser in The Whale.

[@canaisyoung3601]

I think they will.

[@freya8133]

Did Sebastian Stan gain a lot of weight though, like Brendan did? 🤔

[@debunkthejunk1]

Russians for Trump, go figure. 😄😄

[@bubblesezblonde]

good job Seth and crew

[@teresalapier9354]

Had to watch this twice. You are too funny Seth. Your writers rock the Trump jokes. "Weird beard?"

[@mariag.8242]

Beirdo is going around too 😁

[@Nunya100]

I can’t laugh at you Seth those cashews from the stand was on point 😂😂. I would bring my family cheesesteaks when I come up and they’d bring cashews when they come down 😂😂

[@martinlye2748]

In the debate Trump started lying and CNN never called him on any.

[@markw3370]

Shillbilly Vanilii and Sketter Kavanagh both like beer.😂

[@COPKALA]

17 USD for TMTG share? Still 16.99 USD too many.

[@rabit818]

That heron in Central Park better avoid RFK jr.

[@williamwilliam]

Lunatic Trump was White, then one day he turned Orange, and became Yellow for the expected debate with VP Kamala, and finally Green with envy when KH wins

[@denisehickey]

J D Vance is like white bread. Plain.

[@AndrewJohnson-oy8oj]

His obviously put on laugh is so unnerving

[@oliviasimonich2386]

Plain and tasteless. I have never seen a politician who is as socially awkward as he.

[@oliviasimonich2386]

Plain and tasteless. Never have I seen a politician who is as socially awkward as he.

[@alphabrainwave]

Trump is such a man of the church, he tried to help create an entirely new football league to give him something to do on Sunday mornings.

[@WyvernYT]

It's still astonishing that Trump managed to single-handedly kill the whole United States Football League.

[@TheUluxian]

TRUMP : "My favorite book of the Bible is "Two Corinthians" (quote Jan 18, 2016 ) " We do not peddle the word of God for profit." - 2 Corinthians 2:17 🙄

[@mariag.8242]

and his football league failed too. Just one in an incredibly long list of failed businesses from the The Conold.

[@alphabrainwave]

@@mariag.8242 His league didn't just fail. It failed spectacularly because of Trump's legal shenanigans. He pushed for a move to compete directly with the NFL so that he could file an anti-trust lawsuit against them, and as a result the USFL was awarded a $1 settlement, which was boosted to a whopping $3.76 after anti-trust law and interest were taken into account. This effectively ended USFL.

[@WyvernYT]

I am still amazed that he single-handedly destroyed the whole USFL.

[@gor4988]

I'd be down for a beer with Joe, then take the vet out for a spin. That SCOTUS presidential immunity clause might come in handy

[@RolandHazoto]

Jackals, how well would spackle work to fix the liberty bell?

[@canaisyoung3601]

Not good. Someone said that welding would be better.

[@marykater.7169]

Red and yellow squeeze sauce! 😂

[@huffore]

Cart nuts😂😂😂😂😂

[@user-yo3vt7ft1p]

Appetizers before street meat?…

[@brandonminkos6518]

Spackle a bell? This would not work my friend 😊

[@bethfabian1375]

I am not sure if you'll ever see this and/or care, but your monologue was the only one out of them all that made me laugh out loud , thanks! 🎉❤

[@chezmoi42]

They will see it, Beth. They read the comments for Corrections. 🤗

[@bethfabian1375]

@@chezmoi42 hehe thanks

[@freya8133]

🙄

[@CarolAnderson-fh3yp]

The Word Turd and the Weird Beard are great for late night monologue. Four years of them, not so much.

[@matthewroy7464]

I'm surprised Seth didn't save that Liberty Bell joke for Surprise Inspection

[@LadyMoonsparrow]

Love this so much, the joke about Trump not reading project 2025 and alluding to the other book he has not read, was Gold! Seth was terrific as always!

[@marisa-le4hd]

Sie strahlt einen eleganten Charme aus und trägt sich mit der Anmut und dem Stolz einer wahren Königin❤️😍

[@saineghi]

Corrections: because the Liberty Bell is metal, Governor Walz would likely use Bondo instead of spackle as a filler. Anticipating the argument that spackle is phonetically funnier than Bondo..... I'd say it's a tie. Further countering any argument that no one knows what Bondo is.....well, he/she should examine their latte sipping childhood.

[@ucantSQ]

Latte sipping childhood? Does an early love of coffee preclude a generalized knowledge of glues and fillers? What a bizzare, vaguely prejudicial thing to associate with bondo ignorance.

[@saineghi]

Coffee is vastly different than latte!

[@scotchnichols]

Loved that "spackle on that bell" joke.

[@paulvamos7319]

Thank you Seth and crew for the laughs! 😂 Let's see what happens in two weeks when he's sentenced! 😊 Vote blue and check your registration! 😎👍🇺🇸💙

[@completedharma]

S. Meyers describing Trumps acts, "singing and dancing," is comic gold.

[@connietitland2203]

He doesn't believe in God and he DOESN'T go to church.

[@peterbathum2775]

💙💙💙💙💙 Vote Harris Walz FTW 💙for the win💙

[@Community_Guideline_Violator]

Seth should really consider starting a podcast

[@gadams8160]

Spackling, Seth. Spackling. Do you put some frost on a cake?! Did I just Jackle you? No. Jackling.

[@janetbernard590]

OK the Liberty Bell joke.............. Really LOL

[@davidknightx]

I say to the hell with the rules and put that Liberty Bell joke in "Surprise Inspections"

[@darkwinter8]

Trump also admitted he lost the 2020 election in an interview with Lex Fridman. He said he "lost by a whisker".

[@Bluebird-i4s]

Trump appearing in public is a pro-Harris campaign ad.

[@sanseijedi]

Gov. Walz knows that spackle isn't the right material for repairing the Liberty Bell. I just know he has a welding helmet.

[@romonyrogers9520]

The Project 2025 Bible joke deserved a better laugh.

[@joshskelly250]

One of your best Seth 😂🙏

[@shayboogie3682]

I’m not a tourist by any means - and I love the cart nuts 😂😂😂

[@freya8133]

"Trump is a really common last name!" For some reason that cracked me up....really, who besides that family has that surname? 😁

[@terrivaughn6744]

Spackle will keep me laughing for days!😂

[@f1o18iwi9]

seths energy and show is so much better with jokes and i feel its more of a youtube show now love it

[@creameedwards9518]

Well last time us normal people had some money flow everyone ran up prices .. oh min wage went up so did everything else .. I never understood raising min wage last time I made 5.25 and bred was 50 cent gas was 1.25 . Milk was 1.89. . but bail out banks and companies. That money doesn't f with them

[@sherihunt7453]

Tim Walz needs to go on Dax Shepard