Christian Dating Boundaries (kissing, touching, etc.) & Why Should We Have Boundaries?

Hi everyone! In this video Ernesto and I share some of the dating boundaries that we have established in order to wait until marriage and also talk about general boundaries Christian couples can/should have as well. As Christians our goal should be to honor God in all we do, so having boundaries that can help us honor God with our bodies and relationship is very important!
We hope this encourages you if you'r considering dating, currently in a relationship, or are single and hopeful! Doing things God's way is the absolute best way because God ONLY wants what is best for us.
What do you think about these boundaries? Do you have any other boundaries that we might have not mentioned? Share them in the comments!
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#christiandatingboundaries #ernestoandkat
Questions/topics this video helps answer: why should Christians have boundaries when dating?, christian dating boundaries, relationship boundaries, waiting until marriage, how to wait until marriage, practical boundaries for waiting until marriage
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For more of my content:
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Instagram: / ernesto784
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@ernesto.748?i...

[@KatDPerez]

Hi everyone! Quick UPDATE: A few months after making this video the Holy Spirit convicted both Ernesto and I to stop kissing all together... this may or may not be something others feel convicted to do but we certainly did and since this video is all about boundaries we wanted to give that update because God has changed our hearts & minds in regards to that area of boundaries-- and it might help you to consider having this boundary as well! Of course, we are not saying "don't kiss" or "do kiss", but rather pray about it to see what the Holy Spirit is leading you and your boyfriend or girlfriend on doing in regards to the boundaries to have in your relationship. If you'd like to hear more on why me made this decision, you can watch us talk about it in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sHa9eWR_bLuaiqc

[@javaunking2166]

Love that you guys adjusted to what the Holy Spirit was speaking...Keep on pushing because MANY are watching.

[@ernesto.748]

I just want to add and remind you guys, that the best way you can date successfully without falling into temptation is if the person your dating has the same convictions and boundaries as you. You can be the holiest person ever, but if you get into a relationship where your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries, you will most likely fall into any type of temptation, it doesn’t even have to be sex. So please be careful! Don’t think that you are stronger then you really are.

[@itsherchannel2712]

I couldn't agree more.

[@atansiloveth5048]

True talk

[@tinatseiyola14]

I certainly agree with you

[@lanilau4387]

Wholeheartedly agree, my ex didn’t respect my boundaries and I always gave in.

[@nosiphomhlongo3529]

I needed that. Thank you. ❤

[@ClaytonSibara]

We are both 19 and students in varsity. When we started off, we hugged and we were very touchy to each other and that's a form of showing love but as time went we realized that even hugging was feeding our temptations, for both of us so we called off hugging and the only physical interaction we have is shaking hands. I know it sounds boring but the temptations are very real especially when you are attracted to the other person. My advice is to always yield to the guidance of the holy spirit at all cases, because He is the one that can help you in this journey.

[@mrmorale2911]

We are still battling with cuddling😪 We are both 19 as well and we are in varsity too. But I really wanna achieve a pure relationship

[@mrmorale2911]

We are still battling with cuddling😪 We stopped long kisses and stick to pecks. We are both 19 as well and we are in varsity too. But I really wanna achieve a pure relationship

[@TelaJillian]

"Its about being with someone who understands boundaries and also holds them up" ❤

[@promessek.m4433]

Kissing? No, please don't. Anything that would sadden the Holy Spirit is a no for me. This time around, my flesh is crucified, i want to honour God more than pleasing my flesh. Thanks God, my boyfriend supports this too. We will kiss on our Wedding day in Jesus's name

[@EAtoons]

Cheating is a personal decision. Some people will never cheat no matter how hard things are; others will always cheat no matter how good they have it. This is where true beauty comes in! Beauty isn't about having a pretty face. It's about having a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul. ✨ if you played your part and loved someone with all your heart ✨ if you spoke on your feelings & tried to communicate ✨ if you waited for change & none came it’s not your loss, it’s theirs. let go, heal, & move on to someone that deserves you. You deserve someone who you were created for and who was created for you, to understand and love you properly

[@hg3895]

Generational adultery should also be broken from the bloodline in prayer

[@robertwhite9898]

Great tips ! I have boundaries.there’s always temptations Me I can wait .

[@zyeirsilas7044]

Man I feel like god lead me to this video thank you guys praise god

[@KatDPerez]

Glory to God!

[@itssricaa96]

New subscriber !! Love this ❤️

[@KatDPerez]

Hope this can encourage all of us to continue honoring God with our bodies and in our relationships! No matter how difficult it may be, through the help of the Holy Spirit it is possible and so worth it to do things God's way ❤️

[@sanaafarrell6596]

I absolutely love your channel. I've binged watched a couple of your videos and I'm so happy that I found your youtube. Thank you so much Kat and Ernesto for these videos, they are so helpful and will reach so many people that need them like me! Please never stop making these videos :)

[@KatDPerez]

Glory to God for that!! And thank you for the encouraging words, so glad they can help and yes we plan on continuing make more videos God willingly!! 😊🙏🏼

[@ernesto.748]

Glory to God!! Thanks for all the support!!

[@matthewmcdougall233]

wow, that sentence "if someone is forcing you to do something they don't truly love you" hit me really hard. im in a relationship with someone that has been really pushing me to be social and finding people to rely on instead of allowing God to bring the right people. to bring me to a place where she not just the only person i go to. i see the good in this and there has been other areas of my life she is trying to push for me to do or have that it makes me feel like its her wanting me to tick off her list of demands. someone please help me with some advice here?! and yes she is a born again Christian and loves God

[@estersabas7559]

Ask God about it and he will tell you what to do.philip 4:6,.God is the best advicer ever

[@ramonsmith3706]

It sounds like the opposite, It sounds like god is using that relationship to help you. Trusting in God dosent mean you don't trust others aswell. It sounds like they can see you don't have a healthy support network and probably rely on your relationship way too much. Forcing you to do something usually means like money or with your body. But the girl you were with sounds like they really cared for you.

[@sheytruth5540]

Thank you both so much🩵 for sharing🍀. The hardest thing is when one in the relationship is convicted more especially for newly born agains. We must be able to deny ourselves, and love God more than our partners🍀. I really love what you said when you said my love for God is greater than fulfilling my desires🌿. We must be Kingdom minded and not put not put ourselves in situations that will give the devil a chance to push his agenda.

[@The_goddess_of_light]

Definitely my best Couple. They say things in line with Gods word, not just their opinion. had to subscribe to this channel for the wealth of knowlege i glean. Thankyou Kat and Ernesto. Wish i had met you guys earlier

[@KatDPerez]

Glory be to God for that 🙌🏻😊

[@ernesto.748]

Amen!!!!

[@lidarisaponte1897]

Always enjoy watching your videos. God bless🙏😁

[@KatDPerez]

Glory be to God for that, God bless you too, Lidaris

[@user-ku1kz4gz8q]

Theology of the body is great on this

[@miriamgarza7051]

Amen! Appreciate your bold faith in your videos. May God use you both to shine HIS light into the hearts and lives of many. ❤Isaiah 54: May God enlarge the place of your tent, lengthen your cords, expand you to the right & to the left..." Praying for you both that God will greatly multiply your audience, May the Lord be glorified through your lives as you trumpet HIS heart and truth. Bless you Kat & Ernesto! 🙂

[@ernesto.748]

Amen!!

[@KatDPerez]

Amen, God bless you too! 😊

[@FuzionHyperX]

Thank you for this video it really help answer a few of my questions! God Bless y’all 🤍

[@lawalprecious2965]

@katDPerez where have you been all my days. I love this, you have a new subscriber

[@HannahNyampong]

I love you guys ❤️

[@HannahNyampong]

God bless you two 🙏

[@slimepreacher1860]

😊I’m glad I watched this and I agree with you guys on everything that was said thank you for an eye opener friends ❤shaloem shaloem

[@TKsKitchen]

Beautiful couple. Pray God's blessings over you both. 🥰

[@neynuevo211]

The Holy Spirit definitely wasn't leading me to kiss, it was my flesh still in control, because kissing stirs up sexual desires and prepares the body for sex and that's exactly what we had sex, therefore kissing is a boundary I set. I don't play around with kissing when dating no more, it led me to a big sex hole.

[@feliciaeskridge7898]

Amen!

[@nyanjurajosephine8447]

Thank you

[@dauniwantalang8131]

Thank you... Guys

[@chitsanzomalota4119]

Thanks a lot

[@claudiaayesu5768]

Thank you for this video, it really helps

[@christineelizabeth6467]

Hey Kat and Ernesto. My name is Christine, so nice to meet you. I am always looking for KZbin videos on how to thrive in singleness, hence I am single ;). The first video I came across on your channel Kat was How to THRIVE in singleness. So good! Now I can’t stop watching your videos. :) That’s the truth. I’m 28 years old and seeing the both of you in it with God is motivating and convicting for me personally. I feel a great connection with the both of you 🫶🏼. I also appreciate how direct you both were in this video and the last video regarding sex. We NEED to be told directly, no more sugar coating. I truly hope that we meet someday. Keep pressing on …☺️

[@KatDPerez]

That’s so awesome to hear! Glory be to God for that, we are glad our videos can help you in anyway! God bless you! 😊🙌🏻🙏🏼

[@ernesto.748]

Glory to God!! Thanks for the love and support! God bless you 🙏🏼

[@user-dr7bx3uo6z]

Not a problem for me! I despise today's dating scene and have no plans to look for a relationship. I have been single and celibate most of my life, and now I want to remain as a single person free of dating, looking at them with lust, and sexual relations. I have been celibate for several years now.

[@EmilyW-2000]

Me and my husband grew up in the Christian faith and we was struggling with lust but we had to stand strong in our faith into we got married to break our virginity since we both was virgins. We made a mistake and kiss each other in the mouth but we had to pray and not made that happened again so we could resist the lusting temptation. We both had to hold each other accountable into marriage. We both are in our 20s because he just turned 24 and I would be 24 next month.

[@alexscrittercare139]

Can you do a video or put this in a Q&A…. I’m unclear on boundaries for cuddling. Like what is too much? I know it’s kinda of a intimate thing but me and my bf have boundaries still and we are in the same page for the most part. But it’s just one of those things that I’m ok most of the time but other times I question if God is ok with it even if it does not give us temptation for sex

[@bunny8352]

Kiss in public places if you have to, to avoid temptations but as for me I'm too weak😂😂😂😂 I'd rather abstain from it

[@KatDPerez]

I feel you 😂 We actually decided to abstain from kissing a few months after making this video bc God changed our convictions in that area; so we can’t agree more with you in that area now and we made a video about it too here if you’re interested in watching : kzbin.info/www/bejne/sHa9eWR_bLuaiqc

[@gofgan]

I am ok with a perk, on the lips and forehead

[@moonwavesovercome]

🔥🔥🔥

[@jc_alpha]

You guys are too cute! 😎

[@ernesto.748]

Thank you!! 😎😎

[@KatDPerez]

Thanks!

[@estherchikukwa4211]

Wow. You two look alike!

[@blowupnms]

They share the same life

[@jaymitaylor9937]

I was saying the same thing they look alike and they are perfect for each other god really did that ❤

[@rajdharsheetal3680]

Mam, i believe in my god and i love my Christ. I like one of the boy even their are christian and i am dating. But the thing is that i never being so close or i won't allow myself to kiss or hold him. I don't know i feel like its against to god. The person use to say that you don't like or love me i guess. What should i do? Should i continue or leave mam Let me know...

[@KatDPerez]

Hey sister God bless! I think you should probably explain to him why you don’t feel comfortable holding him or kissing him so he understands that it doesn’t mean you don’t like him or love him but rather that you personally just don’t feel right doing that and hopefully he can understand. Pray about it and if he still doesn’t understand or respect it ask God to lead you on what you should do; if He loves you he should respect it but it might just be that he doesn’t understand why you don’t want to hold or kiss him and that can make him feel rejected so it’s important to make that clear to him first and pray to God for discernment on what to do after that 🙏🏼 hope that helps!

[@rajdharsheetal3680]

Thank you so much mam...😊

[@nitrom8891]

My dudes not even getting a word in

[@MorainalorettB]

As a teen don't have boundaries we got whoopings. Sorry this new generation on my nerves they slide for a butt whooping it's just like a meal I was well fed.

[@TKsKitchen]

Before marriage there should be no form of intimacy. Just spending quality time together and getting to know each others ther better. Also edifying each other spiritually as the Holy Spirit leads you to. Maybe a peck on the cheek if both individuals can handle it. It gets very tricky is true so safety first, NO FUNNY BUSINESS😁

[@rosameijering5161]

More people should put bounderies. In Judaism its a normal thing because they want to respect G-d and show they do their best

[@thelordreigns1]

when you said you kiss girl BYE!!!

[@kevingrant3648]

Are you guys married are just dating

[@ernesto.748]

We are currently dating! But will get married in the near future!

[@YididiyaAbebaw]

but what about kissing?.... I think it is mini-sex ... ....

[@thelordreigns1]

definetely.its wrong.its sexual!

[@Shady44575]

The only issue i have with this video is with timothy 2:12 i think it's very important that the man is leading in this conversation, to best lead by example, especially if the goal of your channel is to reach people and followers of Christ, God is very clear about a woman and man's roles when it comes to teaching others, respectfully great video tho, the man in the video just looked and acted very passive in this very important conversation about lust and temptation and his insight into the male perspective since young men definitely struggle with their lust alot more

[@companyboss5447]

I’ve never read this in the Holy Scriptures-just many words taught by preachers. The Lord does not mention it in his word or pull up anyone for sex before marriage. So, I say, why sweat about it? Enjoy your freedom in God.

[@KatDPerez]

The Bible does talk about what we mention in this video. Here are some scriptures that talk about not having sex before marriage and not giving in to lust: - 1 Corinthians 6:13: 13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. - 1 John 2:16 16 For everything in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-comes not from the Father but from the world. - Galatians 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. - 1 Corinthians 7:2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. - 1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. - 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. God bless you!

[@companyboss5447]

@@KatDPerez I have read it 2-3 times, and I did not see anything about sex between the unmarried in the verses, just no immorality. This is a case example of sexual immorality from the Holy Scripture: "It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? - 1 Cor 5:1-2" God Bless

[@companyboss5447]

@@KatDPerez Lust is fine if it's sexual desire - A man desiring an unmarried woman. Many faithful servants of the Lord had multiple concubines/girlfriends to go into, including Priests. God gave them many beautiful women to delight in. (Abraham, King David and many more).

[@andrewd7112]

​@@companyboss5447 I hope you're willing to consider some ideas which you possibly haven't encountered yet. This is a really long post, especially for KZbin comments section, but I hope you'll carefully weigh the points made. If you're serious about living a life which follows Biblical commands then these are important ideas which must be considered. --- -------- Item 1 Let's start with your most recent statement regarding Old Testament people who had multiple wives or concubines. There's a principle in which giving free reign to desires causes one's heart to turn away from God. For that reason, the Law of Moses in Deuteronomy 17 said a king should not multiply wives for himself because it would cause his heart to go astray. And we see that play out in the lives of many kings, including David. David already had 6 wives (iirc, I didn't double check the number) before he even became king and then took on more wives and concubines after that. This is one of the reasons why his heart could be led astray in the matter of Bathsheba and David's murder of her husband. It was sin for David to have half a dozen wives when he became king, and a worse sin when he accumulated more wives and concubines. This failure to contain himself resulted in David murdering a man who was a better man when he was drunk than David was when he was sober. The longer term impacts was civil war and David's children dying. Second, have you read where Jesus was speaking with the Pharisees about divorce and explained to them that Moses allowed divorce due to the hardness of people's hearts. But God's intention from the beginning was that marriage should be permanent and only between one husband and one wife. Going all the way back to Genesis, God's intention was one husband, one wife, in monogamy with each other. Refer to this from Genesis (and quoted by Jesus in the Gospels): A man will leave his father and mother, and be super glued to his wife, and they will be one flesh. There's no mention or allowance for multiple wives. The first mention of polygamy in the Bible was Lamech who was injured in an accident and then he killed the person who accidently injured him. Then Lamech made up a twisted psalm which he sent to his two wives, joking and mocking while declaring he needed the mark of Cain 77 times more than Cain did. So, in addition to not being a part of God's plan, polygamy doesn't have a good start in Genesis, either. --- -------- Item 2 You've been trying to come up with a working definition for the term "sexual immorality". Based on my understanding of your words, you think that it's not sexual immorality for an unmarried man and unmarried woman to have sex with each other. You've cited 1 Corinthians 5 as a definition and because that passage doesn't mention anything else you have concluded that fornication isn't sin. One things to keep in mind re 1 Cor 5 is this example (a stepson and stepmother) is not the only type of sexual immorality. Paul is addressing one very specific scenario within the Corinthian church which is why he doesn't mention other scenarios. Paul points out that it's such an extreme example of sexual immorality that even depraved Greek culture would consider it abhorrent. But, it certainly isn't the only type of sexual immorality. Now, consider 1 Cor 7. In the beginning part of that chapter Paul gives guidance on how to avoid sexual immorality: each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. And the husband and wife should have sex with each other. If we suppose that they claim that unmarried sex is not sexual immorality is true, then we should expect Paul to say in 1 Cor 7 that unmarried sex acts are a way to avoid sexual immorality. Furthermore, he would have given guidelines on how to go about it in the proper way. But Paul, and the Holy Spirit who is speaking through Paul, absolutely and categorically does not give unmarried sex as an option. And why not? The answer is obvious: unmarried sex is sexual immorality. --- -------- Item 3 By now, as long as you're reasonable and willing to listen, it should be clear that sex between people who are not married is sexual immorality. But there may be some question on what actions other than sex itself are also included as being sexually immoral. In many passages, "sexual immorality" is a translation of the Greek word "porneias". And I suggest we can use that to arrive at a working definition of sexual immorality This definition may not be perfect but is good enough to be useful. The modern word "pornography" descends from Greek "porneias". So, any act that would result in a video being considered pornographic" would be included in the list of sexually immoral acts when said acts are done between people who are not married to each other. Things such as nudity, exhibitionism, voyeurisms, various and assorted acts which I won't explicitly list here involving genitalia, breasts, and private parts are all sexually immoral if not done under the condition of it being between one husband and one wife who are married to each other. A weakness of this definition is it relies too much on what happens to be acceptable in our fallen human culture. But for where it is wrong, I would suggest that it's more likely the standards of the Kingdom of Heaven will be more strict than the standards of our culture, especially since current culture at least in my nation is too hypersexual. --- -------- Conclusion / Summary The claim that sex between people who are unmarried is not sexual immorality does not stand up to analysis. It is out of step with everything Biblical: the Old Testament before the Law of Moses, the Old Testament after the Law of Moses, and the New Covenant. So far you have been very greatly mistaken and very badly deceived but the good news is you don't have to stay that way. Seeing that you've been trying to create a belief system and mode of behavior that is consistent with the Bible, but now can see that what you've developed is not consistent with the Bible, it is time for repentance.

[@KaceyMoulton]

@@companyboss5447sexual immorality does include fornication you know

[@saliob32]

I'm not christian and find this video very useful! 🤍🙏🏼

[@KatDPerez]

Glory to God for that!