single, introverted, celibate and annoyed lol

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[@LacyJane]

Single, introverted, celibate and annoyed: the four pillars of a hot girl.

[@fionastakelum2283]

amen

[@anysaleandra]

Yes.

[@itsgabbieagain]

Me lol

[@simonescorner]

Facts lol

[@sheislaki]

A nice hose down would be nice! 🫢 Sorry, been a long time! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MilesTsang]

I’m a 32 year old Chinese dude from/in Canada, but I find a lot of this extremely relatable (and it also makes me feel weirdly less alone). Cheers

[@KellyStamps]

Cheers!

[@jasminerosewater3891]

[@infallibl]

Wake up brother.. Finding inspiration from this display of "victim Olympics" as a man, is a tragedy.. Women do not like the type of men who typed that comment.. Fix up brother. You have time.

[@carpediem7981]

Same. I'm a 32 year old South Asian girl in NY. And it's worse for us ladies at this age. T^T Also, don't listen to this Chico guy, he is dead wrong. I find it adorable that you find it relatable. Thanks for your input

[@ozdagap1809]

@@carpediem7981 Yo Miles, she called you adorable. Same word used to describe pets and little kids. Not men. The Chico guys onto something here.

[@mosopeakinmurele]

The part where you said "I'm minority but there's nothing minor about my existence" is just so powerful, y'all I love Kelly stamps😭 and I'm like 16

[@ibcandy]

I love her too and I’m 52❤

[@Doom_Head95]

What does you being 16 have to do with any of this?

[@KellyStamps]

PERIOD

[@KareemReacts]

@@Doom_Head95 that’s what I was wondering 😂 people just be saying anything

[@Doom_Head95]

@@KareemReacts IKR it's kinda cringe😂

[@ladybug3380]

Being the non stereotypical black girl in school I was always made fun of and called bougie by other black kids. I did not let that get to me because I knew who I was from a young age, I am now married to a wonderful man who loves me just as I am and we’re expecting our 1st child together.

[@oceanrosethatsailsacrossth3466]

That is beautiful.

[@inedanap6253]

I'm sorry you had to go through all that, we have some deeply fucked up expectations surrounding race. Cheers to you and to your happy future!

[@wintersoule]

I am a single introverted woman who is also celibate and incredibly annoyed with life for no reason.

[@librateen632]

Incredibly annoyed with life for no reason is a decoration I didn’t know I needed to hear until now lol. I feel that deeply

[@KellyStamps]

It’s the only way to live 😂

[@fl3693]

Ditto but i got nuff reasons . xx

[@nnendatasie-amadi9572]

same

[@ST-yc7uj]

That's how it s without sex

[@alyset.3083]

It’s almost like when you’re happy, unbothered, and secure in yourself by yourself as a black woman, you aren’t a “black woman.” Idk how else to say it, I hope that makes sense 😂

[@wavy2186]

No, I get what you're saying.

[@Frenchie.C]

💯

[@arbitrarylib]

I get it. Society makes a profit off of Black insecurities

[@DayaAimonee]

I feel this so hard right now.🥹🥰🫶🏾

[@noble604]

arbitrary - and Black pain, poverty and trauma. A whole _lot_ of profit from Black pain, poverty and trauma. A string of nothing but slavery movies and life in “the hood” (oh and being beaten in 1955.) Share your hood life. Even if you grew up nowhere near “the hood” and you have to make it all up. We love your trauma. 😑

[@CandyisAwesome86]

“Being a woman is a part time job. Being a black woman is a full time job.” - President Stamps Whooo, Chile. Truer words have never been spoken.

[@tialwright]

Facts

[@maverickf13]

Amen.

[@la_baby_khalil7703]

🙏😘🙏

[@phyllishenderson2704]

Hello "Sistah"! God Bless you! Thank you so much for sharing your authentic self with your viewers! It takes real strength to do so in this day and age. Your transparency is truly appreciated and has positively touched the lives of more people than you can imagine. So many people feel that they 'don't fit in anywhere and wth anyone! I especially like that you have taken time to get to know yourself and practice self love. It is very apparent that you are comfortable with the true you! Highly commendable and inspirational Finding that center in The Big Apple especially as a single black woman is very impressive! Thank you for showing us that it can be done. I am looking forward to future videos.

[@Andrejr316]

@Sean Jones LOLLL

[@virgomoondiary]

I'm looking at the comments of all the Black girls and women that had THAT same experience and I just wish we all knew each other growing up, because we weren't so different after all, we just didn't see other girls similar to us. Now that we know what we know, we have a chance to create community amongst each other and encourage other young girls to be themselves, even if it means NOT fitting inside the world's stereotypical box of what a "black girl should be".

[@belindawilliams4915]

I thought the same. Someone should start some kind of group with subgroups for different age ranges.

[@Erica-en2qz]

I know, it would have been so nice growing up to know that I wasn't alone.

[@PFlaw317]

While it's nice to say in theory..from my experience a a lot of black people who grew up in predominantly non-black spaces grow to be comfortable being the token or only black person in the room. So when other black people come in, whether they are like minded or not there is animosity there. For some reason we always like to talk about the lowest common denominator (hood dudes, ratchet chicks)..but how many times do you see a group of black nerds or average middle to upper middle class black people hanging with each other? I could be wrong but it seems like they usually hang with other groups of people. That's one thing that bothersome..even with the internet why can't normal, 'average' non-stereotypical black people find each other? One thing that always killed me in HS was that even black girls in the suburbs wanted the bad guy hood dude types lol...they weren't really checking for the very guys who were in their same socio-economic class.

[@virgomoondiary]

@@PFlaw317 Definitely seen that before. I loved reaching out to other Black guys and girls who felt like me. But the invitation wasn’t always accepted, from men or women. Maybe it was fear of future rejection? Not sure. But it’s something else that could change today. There has been growth though, from my own experience, on BOTH sides with new understanding

[@tinatrice1434]

Right ? I got so sick of being the odd girl out

[@sarebear7777]

It's frustrating how sex is such a huge focus for people, as if there aren't other ways to be intimate with people or to connect with them. One thing that I hate is how there are men on dating apps who will immediately try to sleep with you without having a conversation, let alone taking you on a date. The amount of guys who ask for sex after exchanging greetings is absurd to me. I understand you're attracted to me and whatnot but at the very least try to get to know before trying to sleep with me. It's quite disrespectful and disgusting to treat someone that way.

[@Redrover14]

Totally agree. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that a lot of women are willing to reciprocate such behavior, and so men will jump the gun in the hopes that you will too. Not to hate on the women who do, I believe everyone should have the right to sleep with anyone they want if they live that lifestyle, but I think it has created a society where people like us who wish to abstain are less likely to find men who feel the same way.

[@outlaster3431]

@@Redrover14 there is also the fact that commitment has gone down because in retrospect alot of people from both genders don't see any reason to s commited anymore

[@bmona7550]

Better off to just not date in the US. You find more wholesome guys in other countries. I’m glad I’m an immigrant and not really born in the US.

[@crystalsuzuhara]

Especially because sex only lasts for like, a second or two 🤣

[@alesabelen1558]

as an asexual, you speak nothing but the truth. i literally tried to get to know someones hobbies after they propositioned me and they never responded back. i live in a country that still cant let go of the catholic church, i thought my chances werent bad but life just throws you curveballs

[@Neongreenravoe]

As a gay, I feel this SOOOOO much. I don’t want hook ups anymore. I want something that will add value to me. I wanna come home and just watch some videos in the presence of someone, I don’t wanna go to someone’s bed and then dip like… UGH.

[@2008topshelf]

The more you find yourself he harder it is to find compatible partners. Fact of life.

[@KellyStamps]

yep realizing this now

[@ladymagic4736]

Yup

[@skyscraper99]

Riigghhtt??! Potentials are suddenly sparse

[@ajjax9952]

You have less time for BS and you’ve seen enough to know where its going to end. I think you see the red flags sooner than you did before.

[@FTYC2022]

I felt this deeply.

[@MissAneesa]

17:14 "I will never be accepted into any group 100% ever" I relate to this and your experience trying to fit in so hard, especially trying to fit in with other black girls as a black girl.

[@cagrma]

I can absolutely relate to the "not being perceived as black" part. Here in Germany, I have quite often heard "to me, you are not black" or "you act white", but how am I supposed to "prove" I am black? All I can do is to be myself, and not behaving or dressing in a specific way does not make anyone else less black - it just shows the ignorance of the people claiming this.

[@kellykade]

In Germany?! Wow they say that there. It’s ridiculous 😢

[@Kay-ud7sz]

Same here I moved from a small town in Texas to Houston when I was younger and It was the main thing that I was bullied for by my own people I hated school because of it and lived the whole rest of my life trying to fit in when it came to how I dress how I talk and what music I listened to. Now is the first time in my life where I feel I can be my authentic self but I took me being back in a city with very little people that look like myself

[@Justcetriyaart]

If I walk down the street people can tell that I'm black. Don't know why our personalities had to be put in a Box too. There's billions of us in the world.

[@thechrisverhoeven]

Why would you need to prove that you're black? Your skin color doesn't define who you are, your actions do. If people think you're not black, you shouldn't care about that. By the way, good to see people here from all over. I live in the Netherlands. So hey, neighbor.

[@ladybug3380]

They just want us to act like the stereotypes they see on social media. It’s very annoying but I will not change my behavior to appear “more black” my skin color will remain the same until I die.

[@MZy589]

I actually relate to literally everything you said as a black woman. It's so nice seeing someone go through exactly what I go through. We are such similar people, I really wish you were my friend. As an introverted and awkward black girl, I always have such a hard time fitting into most groups and especially finding valuable friendships. It's so hard to find meaningful friendships that aren't a waste of time. Being both single and friendless is so difficult.

[@Scarlet-Enchantress]

Same

[@KellyStamps]

I feel you!

[@brianak1990]

You said it all! This is my life.

[@g.i.4144]

Ahh same here hun.. 😔

[@Kaylasshenaniganss]

I relate to the not fitting in part so much! Social media has convinced everyone to live the same exact life from the wine glasses, to the bags, couches, makeup, etc. I think the people who don’t fit in are happier anyway. People have also called me white all my life because of how I carry myself and what i like. Let lost people be lost 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@hard3tell496]

Where've you been all my life Kayla 😊

[@christinewhack8860]

Hey, just subscribed to your channel. Thankfully other people can not dictate what our "blackness" has to be. Continue to flourish.

[@ii954]

Needed. Currently 21 decided to go back to college after taking 2 years off and being at an hbcu is constant pressure to “act black”. Like the social pressure to be exactly like everyone else is so draining, why can’t I just exist yk?

[@ii954]

I just feel like if they were happy with being basic then why isn’t that enough for them? They want everyone else to be like them too. Like baby let me do me and you do you 💅🏾

[@Kaylasshenaniganss]

@@ii954 I’m 21 too! I get it. I can’t dance that well, can’t sing, and usually feel awkward and out of place in social settings like that. Just gotta learn to embrace it 💕

[@soylentlolmilk]

'i belong nowhere'...i get that, completely. sad that a young person can't find a good person. no hope for us older single introverts lol

[@ciriusscion]

I’ was 31 when I first got my first bf. And was a virgin and never really dated either. Your not alone. I waited a long time.

[@ciriusscion]

I’m 31.5 now btw. So yeah.

[@Thesilentvoice...]

you are a star

[@KellyStamps]

I was engaged! At 21 but now I realize how hard dating is when that relationships goes wrong. He moved for work and I couldn't follow

[@KellyStamps]

It'll take decades to find love like that again

[@TranquilWanderer]

27 here and single all my life 🤨 ended up focusing on myself

[@brianak1990]

It’s such a relief when you finally get the understanding about yourself that you don’t belong with any particular group and you’re okay with that. It’s like you just free yourself to just be, don’t need any validation, not meeting anyone’s exhausting expectations. I’m so thankful to finally be coming to terms with this for myself this year. So relaxing. Same boat by the way. Single. Introverted. Celibate. And so annoyed.

[@LaurenPaigeSQL]

I can’t tell you how good it feels knowing someone else is in my same boat 😮‍💨 Balancing the happiness of being a late twenties Dallas corporate girlie with my own hobbies/dog with the desire to find “my person” is SO difficult without compromising on boundaries. The worst is when coworkers or acquaintances push me to go out with people I know either aren’t what I want OR would TOTALLY want to overstep those boundaries. Sorry not sorry I don’t wanna spend $100 on cheap alcohol and bad decisions 😝

[@KellyStamps]

When you’re that happy with Netflix and a doggo I don’t blame you! Someone must be SUPERIOR to enter your life!

[@PeukinsPoint]

Same right down to the dog.

[@la_baby_khalil7703]

@@KellyStamps👏👍💪☝🙏😘

[@lav7161]

Kudos to you! I'm a guy who buys the $100 worth of alcohol on dates with woman and don't get me wrong, it's fun but it's very tiring and leads to a dead end all the time (drunk sex and then them asking me months later "What are we" or "Is this going anywhere". I'm a guy who just wants to have fun for the moment but I really appreciate hearing stories like yours when you stick to your guns and refuse to cross those boundaries. Hoping for the best for you.

[@AngieConfidential]

As a teenager, I was uncomfortable not being perceived as "black", but I still liked my uniqueness. Let me tell you, you can get so many things done over the phone with a "white-sounding" voice without running into the disrespect and overall lack of professionalism. The bad thing is, when you do phone interviews, the companies love you until you show up for your in-person interview with black skin. That has happened to me several times.

[@KellyStamps]

I’m pretty sure this happened when I was looking at a house in Texas lol

[@AngieConfidential]

@@KellyStamps I can believe it. I lived in Texas for 13 years and that's where I experienced the most discrimination and overall rude behavior.

[@kate4biglittlevoices]

Sounds like the hardship and adjustment is needed and all on the owner of presumptions - may they receive all they deserve and earned

[@fionastakelum2283]

“single, introverted, celibate and annoyed lol” I’m right here, you don’t have to shout

[@KellyStamps]

hahaha

[@shermarkham6376]

You express yourself so creatively. Its compelling.

[@KellyStamps]

Thank you!

[@NerdyDopeChic]

I used to be called "Valley Girl" in school. I loved to read and I loved learning new words. It sucks that people in my own race would clown me for being educated to where I chose to pronounce words properly. And especially dealing with women, its sad people will find a way to single you out because you look or act differently than them. I love your videos Kelly. Never change!

[@houseofgolde]

I agree and totally resonate

[@DanielleCarr01]

You made some really good points & I totally relate. My experience was black girls can be sooo mean to their own. I’ll never get the whole acting white thing just because I speak “normal” whatever normal is lol

[@mrs.elizabethdarcyladyofpe1288]

Same! It ticks me off because our ancestors fought so that we could be educated and show that we are intelligent beings and not lesser than any other race, yet it seems “the culture” wants to take us backwards. If we try to achieve the things our ancestors dreamed of and fought for us to have a chance at, we are ridiculed by our own people as not being “black”. 😡

[@taoflo8015]

Yo niggq

[@sameenergy9414]

Rap Music has done a number on us. It has absolutely DESTROYED our image

[@magaaliii]

I relate to this so much. I’m 28 and I wonder how different my teen years would’ve been if I came across these conversations before. I’m still learning to accept myself fully and being ok with not fitting in.

[@KellyStamps]

I’m still learning too!

[@TheSadie88]

My dear you are not alone. I just said to myself whilst making a beyond burger 30 min ago, that so many people out there are giving themselves to the world, instead of giving themself to themselves. I am in the same boat and I am older than you. I had a small group of friends and I had to let them go too and I don't date for the exact reasons. I have been called a prude, asexual, stuck up, and more but I don't care. I refuse to settle and lose myself to gain anyone. Now I go out alone, I saw 2 broadway shows alone this week(1776 and TopDog UnderDog) last night, and Wednesday and I felt great. I love my peace and solitude and until I can find the right person and or people to share that space with, I'll continue my journey in that manner and I am content with that. I cannot be anything other than me and I don't want to be. Thanks, Kelly.

[@missgingerlocksYT]

People like us need to find each other, but we do nothing to be found, LOL

[@Scarlet-Enchantress]

@@missgingerlocksYT or don’t know where to find us!

[@TheSadie88]

@@missgingerlocksYT so true

[@bmona7550]

Me and my sisters feel the same. We’ll be a sisterhood together until we hopefully find true happiness/love. If not, we have each other. Same thing 😊

[@crossworder]

Yep, growing up I always got (and still get) the "you're not like other black girls" comments from other black people. Sometimes as a "compliment" and sometimes not. Being called bougie because you have a certain tone of voice, like nice things, etc knowing they wouldn't say that to me if I were another race. I think a lot of black people just have low expectations of themselves and get defensive when they see anyone surpassing that bar. It's sad and annoying.

[@Jasmine-uu2xo]

this.

[@camaraann8728]

“Knowing they wouldn’t say this to me if I were another race” exactly 🎯

[@Datb2]

Yup

[@Cusp_of_magic]

You said it!! I've been saying this. They're just putting their own race down when they do this...expecting all black people to talk and act the same way! 💯

[@a.3761]

And if you have higher expectations for yourself, they say you're trying to act white.

[@Brandie-Nicole]

Mmhm! Sounds like our “black cards” are still being revoked in 2022. 🤦🏾‍♀️ Whenever a black woman decides to deviate from the expectations of other pretentious people, you can expect a riot. 🙄 It’s hurtful, but I think when we keep small circles, it helps protect our sanity. This needed to be said, Kelly! 💜

[@ladybug3380]

Let them revoke it , we don’t want to be part of a toxic “community”.

[@Brandie-Nicole]

@@ladybug3380 💯

[@eboni1346]

What I find funny is that a lot of people are using one to a few scenes (not even ethnic cultures because that would soon lend itself to being more inclusive) in the Black diaspora to be a litmus test for Blackness... negating so much culture and history in the process.

[@Skinny-Billy]

Super Powerful, and True Comment!! The average person can benefit greatly by internalizing this truth

[@JP-br4mx]

I mean I know the pressure that black community put on other black peoples to be politically aware but I understand it. The thing I love most about black peoples is that we stand up for each other

[@tialwright]

Yes! The quality of your friends is SO important. And as I’ve grown I’ve outgrown a lot of friends bc they can’t give what I give to the friendship. Being equally yoked in friendships is just as important as being equally yoked in relationships.

[@mrsjaesmith]

Absolutely 💯

[@MaxGr33nfan]

Currently going through this with my best friend. It hurts a lot.

[@tialwright]

Omg Kelly Stamps liked my comment 🥹❤️

[@MyEmoDiaries]

I think the more awareness you have and the more successful you become, you end up having less friends. Why? Because either 1. A great deal of so called friends are not really friends, but are insecure toxic ppl who want to bring you down or gaslight you. And 2. Success brings "friends " who are just trying to use you either financially, emotionally, physically or all of the above. Wisdom is both a luxury and painful because you begin to understand how people actually are. Protect your energy.

[@KellyStamps]

This is all true!

[@Datb2]

Man if this ain’t facts. So many people are actually narcissistic af

[@CeeMeeZee]

I'm a 50 year old woman in the stampede Kelly. Have been watching you for years now, since lockdown brought you to my recommendations. Keep being you! Your self-awareness in your 20s is something that I didn't aquire til my 40s. Can't wait to see where your journey takes you! My dad once told me that if you can count all your true friends on one hand you're lucky. I thought I had more friends that I really did. Now, I know better. :) Refreshing posts as always. Best wishes!

[@ashebelle]

I'm an introverted social butterfly too and have really struggled with reconciling the two, telling myself something was wrong with me because I love socializing but not in the same ways as so many people around me. It's really made me feel so alone as I enter my 30s with only a few friends that I truly feel close to but don't often get to see because of adult life. I've been on an intentional journey lately of teaching myself that there's nothing wrong with me and that comparing myself to the people that socialize differently than I do is so unfair to myself. I too had this vision of how I expected myself and my life to be by 25 and letting that go wasn't hard as I reached that age, but the void it left when I let go has been difficult to fill. I need to fill that void with my own interests and wants rather than hoping to find a partner or more friends that will fill it for me. Thank you for this video, watching it and reading comments of people who feel similarly has really done my soul some good and helped me feel less alone. 💖

[@bethm2699]

As one of your "older" Stampede University students, I relate to this video so much! You have created a world for yourself that suits you. It doesn't have to work for anyone but you. I find the smaller my circle, the more peace I have in my life. More people = more problems. I find your views very refreshing and insightful for such a young professor! 😉

[@KellyStamps]

Thank you student Beth!! I love that you appreciate this lecture P.S. I have many freshman, seniors and in between re-learning how to do life on their own terms here 😅

[@Becca6]

I feel less alone listening to you talk about your experience. I'm glad you have the courage to be true to yourself, even if some people gave you a hard time for not adhering to their standards for how they think you should be. You've found your niche online, and we appreciate you exactly as you are 💜

[@dawn2daylightmadness]

To this day as a black woman I get extremely uncomfortable being in a predominantly black group because of the way I have been treated my whole life. I am not a stereotypical ‘black women’, and I feel as though other black people can almost sense that and they will either shade me or they will ignore me and talk crap behind my back for it. It sickens me to know that I will never 100% be accepted. I have a similar story to yours Kelly I was with a group of black people, one of the girls was my ‘friend’ and the other people had said that we should go to this particular club in the rougher side of town. Someone in the group (again I didn’t know anyone else but my ‘friend’) had said that it probably wasn’t a good idea. My friend had said why cause we were all black and that person pointed at me and said ‘she isn’t black’ 🙃 where he got that from? I don’t know what made him think this because I am an unambiguous dark skin black woman and I literally hadn’t been around them for more than two hours at that point. This was a couple years ago and it still stings when I think about it.

[@Scarlet-Enchantress]

Wow. It’s crazy because everything you said, especially in the beginning half of this paragraph I relate to in a scary eerily similar way. Sometimes I have felt in my head. Maybe I am acting crazy for feeling that other people can sense that I’m not like them, and therefore they don’t really come up to me and talk to me but clearly I’m not alone in that and because I am confident and sure and who I am and I also give other people a chance to understand me, but they clearly don’t like I would try to understand them and their interests. I’m sorry you had to deal with such people but I’m glad you no longer are around them and I don’t know what your friend said in response to that but if they didn’t stick up for you then you’re better off without that group overall. It’s a shame when your own makes you feel like you don’t belong and you’re just yourself.

[@deedee3287]

I was once told I have a white girl booty by a Canadian black woman, mind you I’m a west African immigrant 😅

[@octapharma9310]

@@deedee3287 lol I’ve heard that all my life, by black people, by non black people, by people with horrible shapes. I swear this Polynesian girl no smaller than 400 lbs 5’0 , snowman shape, asked me why don’t I have any ass. Some people just have the nerve.. I never even wanted one, is what is crazy.

[@Sammyyaam]

Feeling like you'll never be 100% accepted is basically how I feel. I used to feel isolated in a group of black girls because I wasn't into the same things they were and in a group of white people I felt like the token black girl.

[@Liz-ic6jb]

I have had the same experiences as you and Kelly but it never bothered me. Most people don't feel they completely fit in no matter what ethnic group or other group they are apart of. All white people or others won't completely accept you either You should be proud and secure if you are your own person.

[@imanogundeko]

I love these candid rants so much. Felt so much of this, especially not having or fitting into a friendship group.

[@rusinip7383]

I'm 21 and never dated anyone. I felt really crappy about it because I thought I should have a partner by now. And only recently did I realize it wasn't about having someone but because I didn't fit in with the majority of people my age who have dated or are dating or having sex with people. I realize that the people I have crushes on are really just people who give me attention. I realized that I'm in love with the idea of them and what they would give me. But I barely even know these people. I think I only cared about the image of a relationship and not the person. After realizing that, I am starting to feel more and more comfortable with being single. Im starting to actually think about the reality of a relationship and realizing that being single is not bad at all and I am feeling much more happy with my life. I'm spending less energy trying to find someone to date and more time focusing on making myself happy and enjoying life as it is now. I also tried to fit in with college life and tried going out cause my friends love to. I don't need to drink a lot of alcohol either but I also understand that a lot of alcohol is not good for you. So Im happy being a lightweight. I realized going out and drinking copious amounts of alcohol is not my thing at all and I can't just sacrifice myself just to fit in with everyone else. This video makes me feel so validated. Thank you for making this 💗💗

[@sharonfrazier2460]

Kelly you are a free bird who flies around by being productive, insightful, respectful and intellectual as well. .. Just keep being a birdie of hope, peace and light. We love you for being you. You hang in there and keep being the fantastic content creator in NY etc .

[@thepreppyminimalist]

I've called myself a lone ranger for my entire teen years. Always tried to fit in with groups but never felt like they were truly my tribe. These days I have a few, close friends who I absolutely love. It's nice to find your kind of people. My teammates always call me granny but I don't care. I'm 24, don't drink, smoke or use drugs and love to stay at home. The wildest thing I do is go out for dinner, a movie or clean and organize my house (it's a true passion). I'm here for all the loners, you rock!✌

[@qcouple4930]

Thank you for sharing Kelly. I was raised outside of the country and learned fast that Americans are taught very young not to have an identity and not to be an individual. In America you must fit in a group and the young people have no clue who they are. So when people can’t figure you out and they can’t put you in a box they’ll hate you. They’re very lost but that’s why starting a family would be good for you when you’re ready. It allows you to create your own happiness and relationships in the way that is best for you.

[@brianna094]

Yep... It's a very self centered society but doesn't actually value those who think differently or don't fit into those boxes! Must be very confusing to those who can't think for themselves 😉 I wouldn't want to be any other way..

[@qcouple4930]

@@MoneySoul Revise your weak grammar then try commenting again. I’ll give you another opportunity to prove that you have a brain.

[@sparklesp9304]

It's deeper than that as a black person. Not doing what other African Americans do can be seen as hating black American culture, which is problematic because black culture is already patronized by other cultures in America.

[@imdurmac1]

i'm an introvert myself. my bff was black and died 2 yrs ago and now i have mostly white friends in my very small circle of friends. i look at how ppl treat me rather than loyalty to a race in my case, the black race. we're all human, ppl are going to treat you well and bad--that's life. as for hair texture/style, the era of the hard core wigs/extensions is here to stay so no one should have a say in how straight a black woman chooses to style her hair. there are many black women with naturally straight hair. i began relaxing my hair at 13 and stopped in 2009, i'm 54. i'm thinking about going back to relaxing my hair and it's ok if i do. the whole ebonics/slang that every black person needs to speak is ridiculous. i used to get teased and bullied for speaking grammatically correct English so today's black woman/girl need not fall into the pressure to be someone they are not because of what some dysfunctional person tells you is the "right" way to be black--think Sheneneh from Martin. nope, we need articulate black ppl to look up to . the ghetto/gangsta culture needs to be cancelled.

[@KellyStamps]

Not Shenehneh 😂 but yes this outdated mindset needs to be canceled ASAP

[@jadeblackwell6227]

Many black people don’t like being boxed into a stereotype, but whenever you are not a stereotype, other black people have a problem with it. Like make it make sense.

[@velvetbiscuit7621]

Lack of self control especially when you just met a person it's the biggest thing that puts me off instantly.

[@destiny.shantelle]

As someone who feels like an outcasted black girl, i always tell myself “you feel lonely huh? Thats why you need to talk to the camera” and i always forget to do so

[@lolabunny1157]

Being a black woman is definitely a full time job!!!

[@gailainsley6939]

Being a human is a full time job period. And yes, I am a blk woman saying this. I do not like this victim mindset that many have. I refuse to say my life is difficult because of my skinN colour and putting that out into the universe. Keep saying it enough and it will come true. If many blk women agree. I can see why it’s hard. You all keep saying it. Couldn’t be me 😂😴

[@lolabunny1157]

@@gailainsley6939 well that’s your opinion good for you lmao

[@Heyitschy03]

@@lolabunny1157 right lmao

[@gailainsley6939]

@@lolabunny1157 That’s why I said ‘it couldn’t be me’. Duh! 👀 but you can all affirm the hard life if you want to though. 😂💀😴

[@lolabunny1157]

@@gailainsley6939 Gail please go somewhere and sit down affirm that the comment was nothing to argue about 🙄😂

[@eddy6124]

As a fellow introvert, forcing myself to go out and immediately going home (even though no one did anything wrong) is very relatable 😅

[@sannejooni6042]

It makes me feel a bit relieved that there’s more people that feel this way too 😭

[@houseofgolde]

The ebbs and flows of life

[@gabrielle8571]

Literally cried before watching this video because I just felt so alone. I enjoy meeting people but often feel...that I don't fit with people or have "my people". I had no idea this video would be about this very thing. Thank you.

[@paula92111]

I love this video Kelly! I think everyone should do whatever they want to do with their body. I just want people (specifically young women) to check in with themselves on how they're feeling when they participate in hook ups and to also ask themselves WHY they're doing it. I met my boyfriend this year and he's not on social media, and getting to know the person and falling in love before sex is very important to him. He just had no interest in hooks up even outside of dating. Men like him are VERY rare but they do still exist! Keep making these videos Kelly, you're a great example for young ladies just by being you.

[@whatsupwkirsten]

Story of my life. Fitting in is extremely overrated. I think you're annoyed because you're surprised you can still get annoyed by things you already know are true, but you somehow think they'll be different this time. I'm a glass half full girl and get annoyed at myself for being disappointed in people when I know I shouldn't have had such high hopes in the first place. Appreciate you sharing this rant. So relatable in so many ways.

[@FrozenAfricaPrincess]

Just by making videos like this you are creating a space for all of us black women&girls who supposedly don’t fit into whatever stereotype ironically fellow black people want us to fit into. So thank you for that and thank you for speaking out. Having had encountered people like the girls you mentioned, I think they themselves are so invested in the black woman box they think they should fit into, that seeing a black woman exist outside of that makes them uncomfortable. And instead of expanding their horizon, they lash out, it’s sad to see. And it hurts, especially if you’re in a space with few black people to begin with.

[@TheKrystee]

Oh Kelly. Boy can I relate… Went to a friend’s surprise engagement at a park a few weeks ago and was treated so poorly by my friend’s sister and a few other girls there. They were trying to imitate my voice with that ‘valley girl’ voice & did some other things that temporarily brought me back to the 13 year old who was so withdrawn & depressed. Some girls can be so cruel. Anywho, cheers to the Free Birds! 🥂

[@iflymilly]

Kelly, Maya Angelou said it right: “You are only free when you realize you belong no place-you belong every place-no place at all." And we know you know this instrincally. The fun, sassy gal is just one side of you. But it's the calm introvert who shines doing her own thing, that connects you to millions around the world. That's where the real belonging is to be found (i.e. in you). ❤️

[@Cani-Gulah]

The 2 parent raised, bougie, introvered, adhd, homebody community is an elusive bunch. We're like social ninjas

[@JunipersCancer]

Come to the richest counties in Maryland you Sir are a dime a dozen

[@Cani-Gulah]

@@JunipersCancer duly noted. Still very rare in the "black community"

[@JunipersCancer]

@@Cani-Gulah I didn't see the ADHD in your earlier statement. I stand corrected 😊 enjoy your day

[@KellyStamps]

LOL this is me

[@nicolegarfield6437]

Love your raw honesty. You are a beautiful unique soul that shines through. Some people are just intimidated and jealous. If you have haters it's a good thing lol

[@mangokilla127]

this video makes me wanna cry bc this is exactly how ive been feeling the last couple months but could never pinpoint what I was feeling nor justify feeling this way. Hearing someone else say it brings me a new sense of peace :')

[@RaheemD]

I really loved this video, I know you do your sit down talks in almost all your videos but this one felt so much more succinct and raw. I agree it's much more like your IG stories in video form. I can resonate with not feeling like you 100% fit into a social group. I'm still not over my high school friend group disbanding after college even though I didn't fully fit in with them but since then (I'm 29 now) I've not been able to find or create a friendship group that I truly resonate with. At least, not in person, I have an online group chat of friends who I loove but they literally live at different ends of the world (trying to find a time to do a zoom call with 4 different timezones is a mess). I think where you grow up can really affect how you go about making friends too. It can even affect your interests. I'm black and I grew up in a mostly white British neighborhood, so I naturally assimilated to that. But, I'm also half American and I pretty much grew up on American Black culture which was the only source of representation I saw of black people on a British TV screen. I've ended up being a fan of things typically "white" and also "black". As a result, I don't 100% feel like I fit in with either group because of it. Everything is cool though and I'm not mad at it, but it's something I've known for a while. There's more to it but I've rambled enough. Just know I appreciate you making a video like this!

[@bunnywavyxx9524]

It seems the more self assured you are and the standards, boundaries, and expectations you have, the less you'll find friends or even romantic interests. Damn. This society is filled with relationships comprising all of the three.

[@jordyncreates]

I just so appreciate your transparency 💛 it’s comforting to hear someone articulate similar thoughts I’ve had!

[@zelapetalcliff]

The story about the three girls really hit home for me 🥲 I had a similar experience like that with my roommate in university. It had hurt but at the end of the day I’m not going to apologize for being me and liking what I like.

[@-MSD.]

You know it's a good day when Kelly brings in the tea☕😌

[@KellyStamps]

Piping hot!

[@denisehenry1577]

O, I don't like piping hot T; IN FACT, I LIKE THE "V" & "TEA" IN Velveeta!!!

[@NutsaChubinidze]

Okay Kelly this video broke down some mess in my head and now I'm sitting here smiling. Reassurance voiced with such raw, personal, deep thoughts from a genuinely mature, intelligent person I love is another level of peace. Thank you for this raw video, it's clear in the comments that you gave a lot of us a calm headspace for the day. I love you!

[@KurrdeigeLenora]

You’re an inspiration. I hope you know that…a fellow introvert who seems genuine about herself and her connection with what’s external to her.

[@brattysims]

Same same same - not single but having limited friends in a big city sucks but is expected when you’re boring and enjoy a nice scented candle, fuzzy socks and Netflix on a Friday night compared to the club or whatever else ppl got going on.

[@RemiReagan]

This title speaks to me

[@av6124]

“a 26 yr old living in manhattan” being able to say that is a serve tho 😌💅

[@DmitriyArbatov]

This is good one. True story of life. Everyone I know in NYC is single, not dating and annoyed by many factors of life lol On the other hand, not fitting in is awesome! That's the key of individualism. I think people who aren't trying to fit in are the best ones, cause there are 100% true and real. No matter what, keep being yourself and keep living your great life Kelly!

[@chck13522]

In grad school I had to write a paper about my identity (I was around 26 at the time). I wrote the paper on fringe culture on how I don't belong to any group and I am A OK with that. Good on you for coming to that realization. Finding peace in yourself is the most valuable tool/resource a person can have.

[@Bonniebgreen]

Love you, Kelly 🥰🎉🥰 I’ve yet to find a community of intelligent, thoughtful and compassionate people to connect with but I’m grateful to have found you 🥰🎉🥰 what I find most challenging these days is a lack of personal morals and ethics, and once that shines through, you can’t unknow it.

[@_aaliyahkc4171]

I totally agree. Be you. I had that problem of not being black enough in high school. I could be friends with everyone except for my own race. It’s saddens me that our race calls for community but never does it. Anyways, everyone in this community of yours is here for you and rooting for you.

[@camaraann8728]

Right! So much so that I question what words like “community” and “friends” even mean. Because even though people use these terms, their actions don’t align.

[@phyllis9463]

Oh Kelly, I feel you girl! My mother’s from NY, had me in the South, as south as it gets, Florida, and boy could I tell you some stories🙄! I was never accepted because of the way I talk, mind you, I’m not “light skinned” at all and never tried to be better than anyone but because I talked like my mother… I was labeled as “trying to be white” by about 98% of the black (mostly females) down here, ridiculous! The difference between us is that I had two older sisters who warned me about it. I couldn’t imagine going through it alone though. I’m much older then you but still to this day, keep to myself, because I never feel like I can truly be myself around people, without being judged. I’m also pretty quirky, so there’s that! The only thing that saved me in my younger years was well, God and my love for the arts. Anyways, long rant, you’re doing amazing for yourself! You inspire an older chick like me not to feel so bad about being alone😂 At least you are bold enough to share yourself with the world! I could only dream. PS.. I work for a company, and I’m the only black person at that company. At first it was super awkward but whatever, I get pretty good bonuses, might be the only reason I stay, lol! Stay you, sweetheart😘

[@catherineebunilo4915]

I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. It’s truly hurtful. I’m glad you took the lesson you did that it changes nothing about you. You’re wonderful and you inspire us and make us laugh. We appreciate you

[@jojolyneee]

I'm so glad u made this video it makes me feel less alone that you've had the same experiences that I had. Me being an awkward black girl at 23 with no dating experience (and a virgin 😣) who feels different from the rest of our community has made me feel a type of way. But hearing your story and reading the comments has made me feel like maybe there is a place that I belong and that I'm not alone ❤️

[@blueseptember2174]

Girl, that emoji after virgin should be 😊. Good for you for waiting for what's right. You are young. You got so much time.

[@Misshannah21]

Thanks for your honesty 😊. I can relate to everything you shared, being single, black, introverted, and in my 20s. It’s so refreshing knowing I’m not alone in my thinking and my wants. I’ve always felt like the odd ball in groups too.

[@MrInnovationWorks]

I am a father of a black girl and I would be proud of her if she was to make many of the same choices that you have made in your life. "Be in the world, but not of the world. Outstanding choices my friend!

[@oliviaa9213]

I just found your channel but just wanted to say that I'm loving it here. I feel seen. Thank you :)

[@christinavcvc]

"I have a sock puppet" Oh Stamps You lighten up my life lmaoo.

[@therealxavi3r]

I respect it. I watch you because you are different, and that's what i find cool and interesting. Not everyone will understand or appreciate it, but thats their problem. Keep being you and finding out who you really are Kelly Stamps

[@reimisia]

As a Japanese and Black woman, I relate so heavy to that last segment. I also went through basic training for the Air Force so trust me girl. I feel your pain. I just don’t try to fit in anymore! People usually love me for my personality and can easily see past the color of my skin or my hair. And those that can’t see past it and treat me as my looks, don’t deserve to be in my life!

[@SCT11]

As a Black woman, the amount of resentment you can get from your own people is insane. Like we wouldn’t allow white people to talk to us this way yet a random Black stranger is able to because…culture??? Yeah no. I am also a Nigerian American woman so that adds another layer. At this point in my early 30s, I’m pretty comfortable with myself and I can easily spot out people who aren’t (a lot of which are on social media platforms) so the way I see it is, why are these people (Black, white, whoever) important enough for me to be stressing about what they think when most don’t even like themselves? The answer is they aren’t important at all. So continue to live your life and be happy because trying to be happy is already a full time job. Love following you Kelly Stamps! Continue to thrive!!! ❤

[@_Aimeesjourney]

“Being a woman is a part-time job; being a black woman is a full time job.” Kelly, I totally agree and can relate to this 100% It’s crazy the expectations and the pressure society put on us.

[@HS-lv3is]

Your videos are therapeutic. I can relate to the whole "I can care about other people but most people in general don't care about me" thing. It's rough but people that are worth keep around are raaaaaare

[@yanakatarina]

As I’m nearing my mid twenties I relate to a lot you said. I‘m trying not to stress myself out over all the expectations my younger self used to have because I’m not going to meet them as it turns out. I‘m learning to trust God‘s timing and to be content where I‘m currently at.

[@ashleyha9804]

thank you for this kelly!! as a 21 year old woman who is post grad, i’m realizing more and more that i’m good and happy with a simple life of doing what’s best for myself and just spending time with the few people who are just as rare and high quality as me. it feels so so nice to let everything else go. your video summed up all those things i’ve been working on in the perfect way. life is gooooood :D

[@TheJamafricanQueen]

“Can you send me a wig.” Is sending me 🤣😂🤣

[@geniusflytrap3773]

I literally have not felt more seen and parallel to a KZbinr in my life. Thinking back to the days when KZbinrs were all white and lived in LA. I am so grateful now 😅

[@Feline-friend007]

I love that we are having this conversation. Its weird that it took so long, i basically had this mindset my entire life.

[@poppycalliope]

Your sit down videos where you talk about these topics are some of my favorites from you Kelly. You're a very mature and well spoken lady 👏

[@KellyStamps]

Oh thank you!

[@taffyluver121508]

Not sure if anyone else has commented this but Maya Angelou was being interviewed by Bill Moyer in 1973 and she said "You only are free when you realize you belong no place - you belong every place - no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great…". If you spend your days trying to find ways you don't fit into a group you will never be happy. You must always - first and foremost - belong to yourself. You must always be proud of yourself and like what you see. Don't feel sad or bad for never fitting in because truthfully I think many of us don't fit in but not everyone is willing to leave the path and create their own. You belong to yourself and so that means you may walk alone that time but others may follow in your footpath and that makes a huge difference. Been subscribed to your channel for a few years now but just now watching a video in a while and I'm so happy it was this one. Cheers love!🥂

[@chloeangelarose]

Kelly, everything you said I feel entirely. Everything you said. My whole life I've known I'm a black girl but I've never put my identity in skin color or being "a black girl" because to me it's just a skin color. Anyone can like, do, live, be whoever they want to be. I'm tired of being put into this small box of what people think black women are supposed to be. We are women. I like the finer things in life, detail, quality, and peace. I like picnics and lace. If I like those things all of a sudden I'm not a black woman? It's 2022... and from like your OWN people.... it's shocking tbh. Idk. If we like specific things or styles we are whitewashed? We can't like things? What you said about not truly fitting in anywhere, wanting a true connection with a man not from sex but conversation, girl I feel you. This video was amazing just know you are not alone. You're making a difference:)

[@brianak1990]

This.

[@waggermama]

I had some similar feelings, then found out way later in life, I’m autistic 😊 such a relief, now I can just be me ❤. BTW I love your lighting

[@moment4lyfe882]

39, single, I have a few good friends and I'm stress free. In my 20s' I used to know 30 people. Now I know about 3. like Biggie Smalls said, "Mo' money, Mo' Problems".. I interpret it as.. More people, more problems... LESS people... you have less problems. Now I am definitely the observer of people. Groups can be toxic ASF! If there are two or more people, someone is going to want control. Always refer back to the movie Mean Girls!

[@tdh6003]

Kelly. I really appreciate your honesty, your authenticity, and am happy you’ve found this medium to shine and share your thoughts. Thank you ❤

[@CoachSofia]

I love just going to nature and talking to the trees sometimes lol

[@SlayNetwork]

It makes you feel good to know that there are other people that feel the same way...LIKE!

[@barbiedoll44]

im a young black girl and i identity with what you were saying so much. growing up i would get told “i act white” etc and it was hurtful. because why am i being put into a box as a 10 year old? why should i act the way you deem is stereotypically black? what does being black look like? i never knew that being black was an act, why can’t i just exist and have black skin at the same time? it always confused me and made me question my identity over the years but as i turned 18 i realised there is no such thing. i can be free to have my own interests and hobbies and likes and dislikes. this is my soul and body, not anybody else’s & i am not here to please anyone else but me. thank you

[@TempleofYou]

Kelly! Ugh i just love your insight, humor and intimate sharing. Ive been following you from the beginning... you are a true gem.

[@perianna.2172]

Much like Kelly I was ostracized for being “too” dark skinned by people from my own community. Damned if we do/don’t, but I’ve learned that we can’t always live by the societal ideals of “blackness” because it may not always be conducive to our own personal experience.

[@JunipersCancer]

❤️

[@Diamond4rmAfrica]

This is truly interesting rant. This feels like listening to a sister. I love this.

[@confessionsofajadedoptimist]

As a black woman who grew up in the suburbs I understand.

[@sagenosnibor9173]

Same 👏🏾My nickname in the family is "white girl" "pretty girl" all because I spoke proper. I was told my whole life that I was going to marry a white man simply because I didn't fit the black stereotype 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@indyj16]

Relationships are going to be fantastically perfect right out of the gate. As with anything worthwhile, they take effort, time, and patience.

[@simonescorner]

I definitely can relate to not fitting in , but I’m okay with that cause I be having fun alone lol