KEN READS | EPISODE 18: EMOTIONAL UNAVAILABILITY

Рет қаралды 2,627

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 38

@mariellegervais8825 2 ай бұрын

I literally couldn’t eat and sleep, and took days off work while in a relationship with a DA person due to constant silent treatment, snowballing and disappearances. I attempted several breakups but for some reason couldn’t let them go. I was abruptly broken up with over Messenger and blocked me after an argument about wanting to talk and not dismissing the conversation. Sometimes I would cry but this time I got angry and said things that made them shut down the relationship. While sad, I can eat and sleep again! I’m kind of in a confused state about how I feel but my body is certainly healthier now.

@melle-32b 3 ай бұрын

I'm really enjoying these episodes. Thank you for your wonderful work, Ken. You are giving authors of the letters voice, as well as sympathy. That, in and of itself is very healing, also to us listeners and co-sufferers. Thank you.

@VampyressVA 2 ай бұрын

Excellent episode, Ken. I believe it's easier for anxiously attached people to turn their focus less on others and more on themselves (become more "selfish") than it is for avoidant attachers to suddenly develop a focus on the partner... and that may be why anxious people have a better chance of healing their attachment style. Actually, I even think that it's natural for anxious attachers to turn more self-centered after a few bouts with avoidants and some alone time, while avoidants probably turn even more avoidant after bouts with the anxious.

@allthai100 2 ай бұрын

This channel and your insight is such a goldmine! Sometimes your insights slip into conversations and it makes me feel like the smartest person in the room! You are officially on my binge worthy list!

@ShopgirlNY182 3 ай бұрын

Thank you for explaining these avoidant behaviors Ken!

@MoonGoddessOracle 2 ай бұрын

Thank you ❤

@ChelleA. Ай бұрын

This was amazing! I'm an anxious attacher and wondered why I ended up with emotionally unavailable men. Ken has all bases covered!

@christinehowarth5763 12 күн бұрын

Amazing kem 🫶

@Lydcha22 3 ай бұрын

@kenreid could you at some point talk about implicit unspoken relationship contracts, projections and passive aggressive behavior and silence/disappearing during relationship dissolution with emotionaly immature /unavailable people. Thank you in advance!

@SherriFlemming 3 ай бұрын

This is an excellent description of the insanity of the dynamics in LDRs.

@Megan-vc5mx 3 ай бұрын

Ken..found you on IG reel first before finding you here. THANK YOU for all of these videos. I've been hooked learning the attachment styles..such a mind fuck to think that these exists.....what a learning experience.. When will you do another live on youtube?

@BlakeAdams. 3 ай бұрын

Thank you. This episode hit me hard. I’m trying to get over an e-mail discard too. He was good to me up until the breakup. I honestly thought we were going to get married. All of it was so confusing, with both of us being raised the exact same and having abandonment issues, I didn’t think we’d ever do that to one another. If we didn’t work out I thought we’d at least part as friends. I found out he started dating someone new a month later in another country. Worst breakup I’ve ever had to endure.

@SherriFlemming 2 ай бұрын

The antidote to suffering is choosing self love over fear and pain. LDRs can be a recipe for disaster. Proximity is continuity. Sending you the light.🙏🌞 Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant

@jojopajaro502 3 ай бұрын

the responses i would get from kind acts were almost dismissive as if they didn't care much. even a friend of mine once noticed that my ex acted as if they didnt care at a birthday party that i planned for them.

@sapnapandey5922 3 ай бұрын

Amazing video❤ you are amazing Ken❤

@rosefrost2933 2 ай бұрын

Where can we send a letter in? I would love to have a session with you but its not available.

@missfrankiegreen 3 ай бұрын

Thanks Ken, loving the letter and as an anxious, I’ve definitely let myself get into unemotionally available relationships, where we are long distance and just speaking on the phone etc

@SherriFlemming 3 ай бұрын

A cyber relationship can become a trauma bond where each person bonds through shared trauma. Free therapy. LDRs can be a recipe for disaster. Texting is breadcrumbing . Men don't commonly bond on the phone. And do you know the whole truth about really goes on in their personal life? They can be compartementalizing, hiding many things they're not honest about. Are any conversations positive or does he incessantly talk about himself and superficial surface conversations? Proximity is continuity in the city you live in. The first meeting is "The Resume."

@missfrankiegreen 3 ай бұрын

I mean I ended up being a therapist for the guy. Met online and he wanted to talk for hours and hours on the phone everyday. He pushed off meeting for a month, we had dinner and he asked straight away to be exclusive, the excuses started to come about not meeting up, turned out he had gambling depts spiralling out of control. I think we only ended up meeting 4 times in one year. Seems crazy looking back on it now.

@SherriFlemming 3 ай бұрын

@@missfrankiegreen I understand. At least he honestly admitted to the gambling addiction and debts. It's a RUN Forrest RUN! What was the distance.? Driving? A plane ride? A passport away? They can be juggling and doing this with numerous women and or be married, attached ( in another relationship. ) Addictions and skeletons in the closet. It's essential to run a background check these days. Fact check, with anyone you date. The excuses, obstacles, escape clauses and exit strategies are common. Ken's podcast on the Boomerang Avoidant' explains their behavioral patterns. LDRs are a common choice on date sites. "Exclusive" with someone that you don't see on a regular basis. He needs therapy and a 12 step program. Beware of scammers, opportunists and catfishers on date sites.

@SherriFlemming 3 ай бұрын

@@missfrankiegreen Indeed. RUN Forrest RUN! They commonly want everything in their terms. At their beck and call. LDRs are common on date sites. Beware of scammers opportunists and catfishers online and offline. A background check is essential with dating these days. Check their digital footprint. Dating requires detective skills. Fact check. A complete stranger can say anything.

@SherriFlemming 3 ай бұрын

Interrogate Your Partners Their Past Is Your Future-Sam Vaknin podcast Never doubt patterns. AKA the track record.

@victoriarowe7708 2 ай бұрын

This what I do with my fa ex I always think I’ve gotta be there for him and neglect myself and my needs I know im in a trauma bond and it’s awful I’m a anxious attacher but u was secure when I met him he has done this to me twice this year I wish I’d never met him 😢

@marcibarnes3422 3 ай бұрын

Bravo! So true!

@TS-zl7wl 3 ай бұрын

Great episode!

@tarkov_6 3 ай бұрын

Think it's sad that you are one of the few people who is not afraid to call bad behavior out. It always seems invalidating to be told not to feel the way you do after being treated poorly because the avoidant is "wounded". Or to be called anxious, regardless of reality, as a way to invalidate any complaints about avoidant behavior.

@SherriFlemming 3 ай бұрын

👍 Stand in your power and speak your truth without sugar coating anything! Many people call someone out on bad behavior regardless of attachment styles. Boundaries and a backbone.