Pat and Paige are a Couple of Sick Degenerates

[@finalstarman4186]

Pat is what happens when you try to minmax life.

[@lance5445]

But then the next patch nerfs your build into the Z-tier

[@tychoazrephet3794]

*Pat looking at the sanity stat* THIS WILL GIVE ME MINIMAL INCREASES.

[@justletmecomment6453]

Pat actully mentioned this on castle super beast, he feels like he minmaxed for something but has no idea what.

[@finalstarman4186]

JustLetMeComment he’s minmaxed to fight David Cage.

[@arthurgomes5188]

Final Starman on top of the Millennium Tower and shirtless while it's raining

[@Antonicane]

"McDonald's isn't wasteful", says woman who orders 10 burgers at a time, eats only the patties and throws the rest away.

[@janedoe1787]

Jonny Worldbeater the bread is very awful for you. So that explains why she’s not 350 pounds.

[@DaSquareful]

@@janedoe1787 her McDonalds addiction also explains the Lupus

[@janedoe1787]

RJoans I firmly believe McDonald’s destroys the immune system.

[@SharkNinjaBlueStar]

_Excuse me, the fuck now?_

[@KaedeLanyo]

@@janedoe1787 Bread is the least of McD's problems.

[@blitz-frenchman663]

His admitting to actively and consciously littering was the moment Pat went from joking heel to actual villain.

[@lokithesavior126]

No that already happened with the yoshikage pat wants to live a quiet life episode.

[@AkaroXIV]

Pat could literally be a Captain Planet villain.

[@alldayagain]

Fuck dah earfth

[@JozefLucifugeKorzeniowski]

Montreal is just a pile of litter though, adding litter to the litter doesn't seem that bad. *"But what if it goes down the storm drain and makes turtles extinct?"* Yeah that's a problem. The countless tonnes of toxic heavy metals that cities manifest by vehicles and infrastructure and the tonnes of waste any industrial zone on the outskirts of the city produces every day that is disposed of in the most convenient and sloppy way they can get away with, those thing aren't harmful to turtles at all though. I love it. The city govt and largest local employers admonish you to pick up your balled up Kleenex while they basically have dumptrucks of poisons being dumped on the beach where all the baby turtles are born from but that's okay because it's them.

[@JozefLucifugeKorzeniowski]

@@alldayagain preach

[@MrStatistx]

*Paige learns that pat used a whole roll before* - woolie: "pat and Paige aren't friends anymore"

[@Dr.Aqueous]

I'm literally crying

[@masterelf12]

*Pat and Paige aren’t brother and sister anymore* DISOWN

[@ceast5273]

Oooo.... That gave me a spike of hurt

[@comingupooo]

Too soon man. Too soon.

[@Guile_The_Exile]

That wound is way to fresh...0/10 Seriously to sad to laugh still.... KZbin legit has lost it's luster since that dreadful awful day.

[@MrMoondown]

Remember when Pat being crazy was a character? Me neither.

[@JackPoppy]

Like, they're BOTH wrong, and yet they're constantly arguing over which one is more wrong.

[@Arceusparadox]

Pat revealing on stream that he secretly been a captain planet villain this entire time.

[@MrJdizzy858]

Captain Pat-llution

[@goblinrat6119]

"There's trash on the ground, isn't that funny!?" is LITERALLY something you'd hear out of a Captain Planet villain's mouth.

[@JackPoppy]

Secretly?

[@Nyug3r]

Such a horrible person.... but we still love him. XD

[@SuperZergMan]

We already knew in our hearts.

[@direweeb]

"That's a trick that I learned from killing big spiders. You use the condom twice."

[@night1952]

@@BbNaB I always thought the only way to use a condom twice is to go for round 2 without taking it off. Can you even put one on if it already rolled out?

[@Sincroix]

Pat being the good guy and getting the burger for Paige after throwing it at him only to throw it back at her is such a Pat thing and I love it.

[@SpontaneousCourage]

It was an underhanded toss, though. Paige is just too weak to catch from the Lupus.

[@mothermushroom_]

I love how Pat is simultaneously the most insane and nicest dude on twitch/youtube

[@Dotoku14]

I think it's the duality of man

[@afterpasthours7504]

“Pat likes to think he is a Jesus.” -Paige “PeachSaliva” 2019

[@tychoazrephet3794]

He worships nothing, he is his own god.

Praise be to Pat Tron 2000

[@PaperThinnGlennHall]

If pat wasn't a good guy, he'd be Dsp's echo fighter

[@Scarb1984]

TheMasterOfAllStuff THAT’S FUCKING STRONG

[@Abyss3223]

[Crazy Talk Activates]

[@gameb9oy]

TheMasterOfAllStuff ... that’s why he’s an echo fighter, that’s the one difference

[@awesometown1000]

The only difference between Pat and Phil is that Pat is more successful and lovable

[@PaperThinnGlennHall]

@@awesometown1000also pat isn't a con artist

[@alexdilley987]

Actual Supervillain Patrick Boivin

[@Zantetsu13]

You know those villains Woolie likes, the ones that are kind of relatable and make you go "mmm, he actually has a point"?. Pat is the antithesis of that, where the point itself is absolutely ridiculous; but because it is coming from him it is still believable or understandable in a sense.

[@6powersofM]

@@Zantetsu13 like how this week on the podcast he talked about this satirical documentary about how to kill all germs and build houses so high no animals could ever survive to make it filthy and make all the birds drink bleach And Pat thinking "Finally, someone understands"

[@softwet8511]

@@Zantetsu13 Like their point is completely insane but they come across as so convincing in believing it is through sheer force of personality that you sympathize with them anyway.

[@softgirlvelvet8446]

Sometimes I forget that Pat is what happens if you have a high intelligence Stat but low charisma Stat with wild wasteland in New Vegas. And you choose every possible weird answer you can find.

[@ishraqkhan8222]

With so many of his bullshits i wouldn't say he has high intelligence stat. XD But i see your point. Sometimes he does come off like that. He many times comes up with insane logic & the absurd way he comes up with that logic is brilliant (or sad take your pick). it's hilarious.

[@dekhain3284]

@@ishraqkhan8222 Man has a Psych degree, let's not forget that

[@lilmonstercc1]

Phantom Femboy Id say the opposite, high charisma so you think hes right, but low intel because hes always wrong

[@jeremydaly8293]

@@lilmonstercc1 You're all wrong. It's all in luck baby

[@ladymaskmaker6667]

@Jeremy Daly, Lucky Pat bumbles through life.

[@n00bwolf15]

"I DON'T LIVE IN THE EARTH, I LIVE IN THE HOUSE!"

[@tychoazrephet3794]

"I don't live in the Earth!" said the ginger dwarf.

[@iller3]

It's.... it's because one of them is a CUBE ... isn't it??

[@AlexStarkiller1]

Pat has replaced his shame with euphoria and he needs to be stopped.

[@tychoazrephet3794]

Fun science fact: gingers have a special organ that converts shame into dopamine.

[@wiiguru13]

Paige being offscreen for this made it even better.

[@SabbyNeko]

Who?

[@evilqueen-et1du]

@@SabbyNeko Page is hos girlfriend. She has her own stream with pat called the Ruby Weapon Hour

[@imjustsomeguy72]

@@evilqueen-et1du Never heard of her. Is she always invisible?

[@mr.battle20]

@@imjustsomeguy72 Check out the channel PeachSaliva. It's got the archives of her streams. She appears on camera, and Pat is often on there as well. She's a redhead just like Pat, and fans often joke that they're brother and sister. She's basically a female version of Pat, except more physically fit and with a resting bitch face (her words, not mine).

[@imjustsomeguy72]

@@mr.battle20 woosh?

[@Solidus113]

the fastest possible turnaround on video content

[@WhiteWolfCa]

Pat: "Throwing trash in a building is outrageous" Paige: Its not littering Pat: Itz not and the fact you think it is, is even crazier. Paige: I....what?... Pat: Buildings have to stay clean. The earth is dirty, it can stay dirty. Paige: Pat you're not listening... Pat: Buildings are clean. Paige: I dont care if it's not littering. What I care about is telling you, showing you, what it's like for the place you live in to be covered in sh... PAT: I DONT LIVE IN THE EARTH, I LIVE IN A HOUSE Paige:... that's what I'm saying. Have everyone come to your hotel,room and dumb their shit on the ground... PAT: NO ONE LIVES ON THE EARTH, THEY LIVE IN HOUSES Insanity at its finest

[@TerriblePilot17]

The blank expression on buscemi's face makes this

[@dylandude818]

“Why are we here just to suffer”

[@nowhereman6019]

"You think god stays in heaven because he to is afraid of what he's created?"

[@LieseFury]

he knows that Pat and Paige are not the main attraction

[@Hotmanlion12]

How did Pat live his entire life and grow into an adult without understanding that using someone’s toothbrush without asking is a bad thing?

[@burgbass]

The scariest thing is that he has gotten this far using other people’s toothbrushes, and only recently has he actually been disciplined on why that’s wrong. Imagine how many other folk’s toothbrushes he’s used up until then, and he was never caught... before this.

[@gameb9oy]

@@burgbass even scarier fact is he was corrected by someone who it’s even more amazing than him has managed to live this long. The amount of times we’ve been told Paige has gone to the hospital for something stupid should not be more than once.

[@npthedarkside27]

"When you come out of the shower you look like a busted can of biscuits" is the best thing I have heard in a long time, holy shit

[@joshthompson7936]

Buscemi keeps looking sadder with every stream

[@Foamypeon]

His smile and optimism: gone

[@roondar6141]

Little do we know they've been slowly buying versions of the same picture that's slightly sadder every few days. After a few years he'll be crying.

[@fedoraassailant330]

I can only imagine how twisted their incestuous spawn will be.

[@Antonicane]

Well, considering Paige pretty much described their sex life as a plunger being stuck into a toilet bowl...

[@Rahhelthethird]

Boruto Boivin?

[@ThatWeirdGuyFromWork]

Jonny Worldbeater What does that *mean*

[@FunkBastid]

Jonny Worldbeater what does that mean?

[@CPL.van7]

Pretzel levels of twisted.

[@robertcopp2411]

"You look like a busted can of biscuits" is the most brutal insult I've ever heard.

[@milesbm83]

This is the cringiest couple I've ever seen. I love them. I love them so much.

[@LostApotheosis]

Its the good cringe. The genuine, lovable cringe.

[@MrL0WEL]

I thought maybe this would be a 40-minute compilation of Pat and Paige's bullshit through time. I have severely underestimated them.

[@koddaszol]

These two are going to me the most succesfull , happy couple in canada.

[@gameb9oy]

As weird as it is to say this... you might not be wrong

[@Tokkoking]

@@gameb9oy and thats fuckin sad

[@calamaty2007]

I imagine they will be over 80 years old and still be at each other like this.

[@najibothman2607]

It's like two gods of destruction dancing around the world and we witnessed not despair and forsaken but the beauty and joy of the gods being happy

[@ChrisPoindexter98]

How poetic and wonderfully written. 🥰

[@tychoazrephet3794]

6:07 "I bet they're people who actually think we're like that." if by people you mean everyone then yes Paige.

[@genghispecan]

My God, they could be characters on "Always Sunny in Philadelphia"...a crazy neighbor couple that stream.

[@alseid8709]

I think it's safe to say we can blame all of this one Eli.

[@tychoazrephet3794]

I think it's safe to say we can blame every travesty the human race has perpetrated on Eli.

[@JackgarPrime]

So is "Eli's Fault" number 5?

[@BigFingerRo]

28:55 Pat becomes a literal saturday morning cartoon villain.

[@IronreaverVII]

My favourite bit of the whole video

[@butterbean9354]

This is what I came here for

[@ruikirisame1744]

the neighbors start dialing Captain Planet in panic

[@Ryanlupex]

"People don't live on the Earth, they live in houses" -Pat 2019

[@shreddershades1198]

The true unification of the USA and Canada.

[@TheGladGolem]

As Pat explains his use of an entire paper towel roll: Paige: Aeeugghhhhh... (realizes she allows this man inside her)

[@TheRampart]

Only degenerates drink Diet Coke unironically

[@mimipeahes5848]

Ok but why would you drink it ironically.

[@marialuke2116]

@@mimipeahes5848 Hypothesis: Because their mood is permanently in "just fuck me up" mode.

[@DarkFire346]

I wonder how many times a day the word "Paaaaaaaaaaat…." is said around that household

[@goodninji8]

I'm proud to say that I wasted 41 minutes of my life watching a human garbage couple than work on a speech I'm giving in 12 hours.

[@louiesalmon3932]

Just remember: Don't go through your material too fast, but also make sure you get through it all. And don't look too nervous, but also don't look too relaxed or people won't be engaged.

[@robertcoyle6798]

3 hours to go before your speech. Good luck, bruv. If all else fails, just tell your audience they don't understand life and firmly instruct them to not waste toilet paper.

[@goodninji8]

It went alright, thanks y'all. I presented a fake Decade Award award for Kojima for a good 2 minutes lol.

[@MegaRazor619]

@@goodninji8 nice

[@stratrat619]

i lost it when he said he'd pay a garbage man a thousand dollars to just dump the whole truck onto a street somewhere

[@godsplayingfield]

"i ACTIVELY LITTER!!!" and it was at that moment, Pat revealed just how much he was a captain planet villain.

[@johnm9217]

Pat and Paige deserve each other

[@MarlonMacielBrando]

Marry someone that does you as hard as Paige does McDonald's fries.

[@thecorbohole3637]

"I don't know who you are any more, except you've always been like this." Should be the stream tag line.

[@filorial5017]

People actually use towels only once then wash them? That's insane.

[@Blurredborderlines]

No that's just Paige

[@loganhenry5125]

Yeah they smell bad after one use so I use a towel once and then put them in the wash

[@Roronoa2zoro]

@@loganhenry5125 That's entirely a you thing. If you hang them up so they dry properly you can use them like ten times or more before they start to smell.

[@ForeverMasterless]

@@loganhenry5125 Sounds to me like your bathroom is humid enough to cause mold growth and the towel just isn't drying out because of it. Lemme guess, basement apartment? Get a fucking dehumidifier or an exhaust fan or something. Towels shouldn't smell like anything after just one use.

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

If you dry your hands on a used towel that kinda..defeats washing your hands

[@HaaruteVODs]

This was incredible to witness.

[@scalerfan15]

"The earth is gods trashcan." That explains a lot about where we came from.

[@TomboTime]

man. This happened JUST after the best friends broke up basically, just when the wound was still fresh, and so something this hilarious was very much welcomed at the time.

[@greatsage1288]

I’ve never met two people more for each other. It honestly touches my heart.

[@theblackcousin]

Steve Buscemi looks on with disdain.

[@LordDrystan]

The best video to be released on my birthday. Watching my two favorite red goblins disgust me completely. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

[@ZackofSpades]

I didn't think Captain Planet villains actually existed but here we are

[@nethilious8259]

I work at Mcdonalds and can confirm that the sodas are most likely effected by how our fountains work. The syrups pumped in through a tank thing in the back go all the way over to the lobby, when the syrups were fucked up once I tried some of the blank fluid. It made me see god

[@notoverwatch6991]

So it's aged syrup or something?

[@nethilious8259]

@@notoverwatch6991 Yes we let our syrups age in an M shaped barrels until they're just right to crack open for the public to enjoy. I actually didnt look again and its like a giant tank filled with club soda stuff basically, then next to it theres bunch of bags in little boxes on connected to tubes. So they mix together all the way over to the stores front

[@adams3627]

That's pretty much how every fast food soda station works. The water is just tap water, then a tank of CO2 is injected into the stream so it gets carbonated, THEN the soda syrup gets added to the mix. It's under a lot of pressure right up until it gets shot into the cup. Also why would you drink the syrup straight that will give you turbo diabetes

[@hkazu63]

I work in one too and one time we had an issue with the machine that meant all of the drinks were decarbonated. That one problem made literally all of the drinks awful. Like I except a flat coke to be bad, but THAT...THAT was APPALLING. It was the vilest shit ever made.

[@AnimeFun4Every1]

26:50 Pat is basically original Broly's stupid backstory which he also fully admits.

[@EAtom-fz5ey]

Pat is a good reminder of what you should never be, just in general as a human being

[@gameb9oy]

Nah, he’s an overall good guy, you’re thinking of the eternal survivor DSP

[@DaSquareful]

This is why Matt left and he was right.

[@DwolfFW]

Hey, Pat is just trying to live a quiet life.

[@DaSquareful]

@Whipper of Merchants But he doesnt use his spouses toothbrush.

[@conspiracypanda1200]

@Whipper of Merchants Oof is it really worth it to start shit? Do you really wanna be that guy? I wouldn't wanna be that guy... I think they're all disgusting idiot goblins in their own unique ways...

[@oddskymikha8185]

I can't believe they went on this conversation for forty fucking minutes straight.

[@crackerjack452]

"That's wasteful" yeah, children in Africa could have eaten those paper towels!

[@whitegemgames]

Well it’s also wasteful from a monetary stand point if nothing else.

[@Trick.Sparrow]

'I don't know who you are anymore, except you've always been like this' is really, really funny

[@StellaStarfall]

I was literally seeing stars after the “You look like a busted can of biscuits babe” bit, I couldn’t breathe for a good minute because I was laughing so hard

[@maddlad_l5257]

Don't know how Paige doesn't know that streaming is tiring. She's literally dying an hour into her streams every time.

[@SwagBroPlays]

That was the best stream. Ever. Of all time. In the entire universe Also Pat is Chaotic Evil confirmed 😂

[@genghispecan]

It was amazing. I tuned into Twitch just in time to catch it live on Sunday. Whole exchange went a good hour and fifteen minutes. Glorious. Just, glorious.

[@shadowrunner4620]

Okay, 5-7 days of using the same towel is fine, or a week, and then use a new towel. Or if you're really dirty and sweaty from a day of hard yardwork, then yeah, get new towel.

[@ntreble3548]

I think a lot of the confusion was no one clarifying if they meant towels use to dry off after a shower or towels used to dry your hands after washing them.

[@stitches1110]

Just get enough towels and use it once for fucks sake! Using a towel more then once is just rubbing yourself with your dead dirty skin cells.

[@MrGMoney1944]

@@stitches1110 Obviously you aren't showering correctly if you scrub correctly shouldn't be enough dead skin to matter.

[@OpticalJesu5]

This is what a perfect couple looks like. Not because the relationship or whatever is perfect but their both the same level of fucking insane.

[@RhysClark97]

"WHAT IS ON ME, THERES FUCKING BURGUR SHIT ON ME, THERES HAMBURGURS ON ME, I HATE THIS" is perhapse my favorite out of context quote from Patt ever.

[@serendipitousdudaday68]

Is there a clip of Pat's New Vegas vid, where they make up a scenario of a blind guy asking whose talking? Gave me a serious laugh attack

[@ExcelExcel]

Okay, using the entire paper towel roll to clean up a spill is stupid, but I am absolutely using that spider trick.

[@Raheel_Ishaq]

This "One flew over the cuckoo's nest" remake sure is weird.

[@nooneinparticular5273]

I've never seen a relationship be so toxic yet so healthy. It's what we should all aspire to.

[@edowardoh]

12:32 Max subscribes only because he hears the stuff going on and resonates with it so much

[@souloftherisingsun8274]

I hope you included the lollipop clip in this one Edit: never mind, I thought this was going to be a compilation of degeneracy, then it turned out to be 40 minutes from one stream. I don’t know how to feel about the things I’ve just heard

[@gameb9oy]

Can I have a link to this lollipop clip?

[@souloftherisingsun8274]

gameb9oy gotchu homie kzbin.info/www/bejne/rIfEoKKqfp1lmq8 14:00 for the start of the degeneracy and my all time favorite line from Pat. 6:40 if you want a random bonus clip that has nothing to do with degeneracy

[@Kevinofrepublic]

In the time they started streaming do you think theyve naturally become more crazy or have they always been this nuts?

[@badabingee]

its a re7 situation, Paige looked normal before Pat, but we all know Pat was always criminally insane, so it spread to her

[@souloftherisingsun8274]

Yes. This couple is a mystery

[@KuruSeed]

paige: *throws burg paige: now get it

[@ThumpingThromnambular]

"Oh my god, I don't know who you are anymore, except you've always been like this"

[@thezambambo2184]

They simultaneously despise and love each other so much

[@Fittkins]

If their life was a comedy show it'd win awards.

[@GlassbrainZ]

"people live in houses" Patrick Boivin, dehumanizing the homeless

[@dumoorson8431]

"I LET YOU SEE A BOOB!" - Paige 2019 (shortly before being murdered by Pat)

[@MasterRhoroPontus]

Peach asking about the puking on stream; on behalf of YMS I'm sure.

[@jojonoa3590]

One of them is an insane trash goblin, the other is the normal person bewildered by their partner's actions. Which one is which randomizes every minute or so. XD

[@MrBurnsy54]

But maybe they can BECOME HUMAN

[@ARMIV4]

It's like being part of an audience for a couple's therapy session. These two are amazing and I love them.

[@VentWilsn]

litterally turning into a jojo villian every waking moment

[@VoicesByZane]

Okay normally Pat's brain goblins are endearing but the fact that be actually litters for fun and revels in people getting mad about it is peak scumbag behavior.

[@kevin-bf4ww]

the burger hitting paige noise but played over diddy taking a hit in dkc2

[@Blunder-Blue]

Somehow this gets even funnier with the knowledge that the following day Pat starts screaming live on the podcast about how much he fucking hates being a living, organic creature with bodily functions.

[@DevonPalmer98]

They make me feel sane, I thank these two dumpsters for being batshit crazy and lovable.

[@swivelshivel6576]

These guys got goals. It’s not our goals, but it’s goals

[@goldenboy9748]

I expect nothing and receive less

[@genghispecan]

It's even funnier if you picture a *ahem..."sexually aggressive" Vulpix just off screen with Paige's voice. Plague should animate these bits, for sure.

[@donovanpereida924]

***hold on***

[@shaddykack]

Oh god, I did not need to hear about Paige plopping her patties on Pat’s chest. 4:57 for can’t unhear

[@masterelf12]

Paige doesn't exist, we are watching Pat do the longest one man performance

[@IamPinhead]

It's like watching two insane people stuck in a cabin in a blizzard.

[@elb0w]

"Pat when ur naked u look like a *busted* can of biscuits, babe." i LOST my SHIT

[@magnumbadguy9354]

This video is what Pucci meant by heaven

[@malhekai]

I live vicariously through these two. Is this what those weird gross parents that force their kids to become superstars feel like?

[@Sitruk86]

this is like what happens when you distribute weed to an asylum. edit........ the longer it goes the worse it gets. someone send this to woolie, it'll fill his cringe quota for a year.

[@sigma1328]

Wait she calls pat Rattrap when he gets a high pitch new York accent ish tone, did she just reference beast wars

[@FunkyKong2112]

Probably

[@alldayagain]

The difference between _this_ and now is very inspirational towards to the self-improving power of love

[@Dusk_Breeze]

This is an example of either top-tier or low-tier relationship goals