Drain the Swamp: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

Donald Trump promised to “drain the swamp.” But considering the culture of corruption inside of his administration, Washington is looking awfully...swampy.
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[@TheGreatRakatan]

" The swamp are the big power elites that look down on the little guy like me" "Being rich is good, those big powerful rich people are my friends" This guy's brain has literally adopted cognitive dissonance as it's modus operandi.

[@WalterTheWalrus]

God this made me laugh Then cry

[@Resi1ience]

Not to mention, he's supporting a party more interested in buying him as property than being there for him as a small guy.

[@3goats1coat]

This is your brain on lifelong capitalist propaganda. You might have a lucid moment, but it won't last and won't connect

[@TheShicksinator]

It's because when these people say elites they mean Jews.

[@einundsiebenziger5488]

... its* MO (it's = it is) ...

[@MrJjrob97]

I will never understand why people think that billionaires will all of a sudden care about their best interest.

[@edwardsaucedo9223]

James Robinson just like hollywood stars trying to say who to vote for.

[@stephenmuth7081]

I won't either. Having spoken at length with the deluded types, they all sounded just like the asshat in the video. An overly-simplistic worldview is all I can think of. Cannot hold two thoughts in the head. If the person is a "politician", then they are bad; no need to examine specifics. Replace with "outsiders" has to be better; again, no need to examine specifics.

[@cocobabe]

@@edwardsaucedo9223 Theyre still Americans and are allowed to share who they support. Most of us do the same, just on smaller platforms. Everytime we post about our favorite candidate on social media or even just comment "generic politician" 2020! were doing the same but reaching a smaller amount of people.

[@AshDemonYoung]

@@edwardsaucedo9223 Hollywood Stars and massive corporations make money in completely different ways. They are not the same. Stop drinking the coolaid.

[@liqslip]

@@edwardsaucedo9223 Ronald Reagan disagrees.

[@bodenlosedosenhose1590]

15:22 Think about it. He tells his own voters that he lied about draining the swamp, that it was just a meaningless catchphrase. And they laugh about it. These people are so gullible, naive, careless and dumb.

[@michae976]

orange man bad

[@sakurakhadag]

I could not believe it. How are they smiling? Do they not realise he may have lied about everything???!!

[@themaninthesuit5729]

Don't forget easily manipulated

[@onee]

He's basically telling his own voters that they're morons. And they're laughing at their own retardedness.

[@btw3344]

@@michae976 orange man god

[@luckjes112]

I love the term "drain the swamp". Y'know what draining a swamp does? It kills an ecosystem, drains the place of water and leaves only vile, smelly muck in its wake.

[@theangledsaxon6765]

Would you prefer to keep the ‘swamp’ of corruption?

[@albertrogers2506]

@@theangledsaxon6765 That is NOT what users of the phrase intend to drain.

[@dinamosflams]

@@theangledsaxon6765 the Point is that he would not be draining corruption, but what suits to "corrupion" or, in an authoritarian eye, anything that doesn't suit with the all supreme saviour of America and cleaner of corruption god Trump think It is bether for America. Spoiler, this is way closet to the dreaded communism and fascism than anything that you believe or associate with it

[@forthesakeofsanity]

RIGHT in all literal senses, draining a swamp ruins the ecosystem. We had a great pond by my house growing up until the city came and said "itll be better for the environment to drain this, trust us" and what do you know, now its a mucky waste-bog and its lost most of its wildlife (AND the drainage didnt improve for anybody at all, which i guess was their goal). Nobody listened when i tried to warn them b/c i was "too young to understand" (a minor) 🙄 it ended up exactly as i said it would though. Ugh. Let ecosystems run themselves!

[@forthesakeofsanity]

@@theangledsaxon6765 honey, politics isnt equivilant to corruption. Would you rather we be run like a third world country? Thats what non-politicians in office gets us to. Yes, there are bad and good politicians, just like there are bad and good cops--its that way in any industry. But we need people who understand the system in the places they belong--billionares dont belong in office, they hire cruddy politicians to work for them behind the scenes anyways, and they dont know how to run a country. The word "politician" is not inheirently bad.

[@Tychoxi]

"I love the multi-millionaires, not the elites who look down on me" wat

[@serapiel]

Lol, right? It's sometimes hard to believe that people can be that stupid...

[@armedwombat6816]

"the elites" just means the people that make them feel inferior. So, the educated people, the hollywood celebrieties, etc. But not billionaires, because they don't know what they look like. They don't relize how much contempt they have for them. Or how much of their welath is built on exploiting the 99% with the help of politicians like Trump. It's just about who they want to hate.

[@tesasilva4522]

Ikr! That guy was a complete dumbass.

[@mohdmohtashim9841]

You can take stupid out of stupidity, but you can not take the stupidity out of stupid.

[@iloveyourunclebob]

@@serapiel I mean, they did elect a dead guy in Nevada, being informed isn't really their strength.

[@jklroxmysox111]

The cognitive dissonance of thinking that having billionaires in charge is a good thing because they won capitalism or whatever but also thinking that those billionaires will somehow turn around and stop winning capitalism to spend time/effort/money helping out middle America is astounding.

[@exantiuse497]

Saying having billionaires in charge of politics is good because they can't be bribed by other billionaires is like saying having paedophiles run the daycare is good because other paedophiles can't bribe them. Yea, it may be true they are harder to bribe than your average daycare employee, but the reason WHY that is is the very reason we want them as far away as possible

[@KGillis]

They can't be bribed because they're the ones who normally do the bribing. If you give them the job, then they just cut out the middle man.

[@Bagley2014]

Well, the idea is that the way to "keep winning" capitalism is to reduce regulations and government interference. This will help capitalism and thus will help middle America. You have to presume that capitalism is good for middle America.

[@arczeum7921]

@@Bagley2014 And Capitalism has proven time and again that it does not help middle America.

[@Bagley2014]

@@arczeum7921 I mean, capitalism produced the phone I'm posting with, the site I'm posting on, the video I'm posting in regards to, and the tools that made the video, so I think it deserves a little credit for where we are today.

[@alyshaknaphus1495]

Furiously listening to this to drown out my dad’s Fox News.

[@gailcirillo3294]

why God created headphones

[@MR.MUFFIIN]

Alysha Knaphus stay strong!

[@mikerey6711]

Because listening to people who disagree with you is a bad thing?

[@Canakz]

@@mikerey6711 There's listening to people that have opposing views and there's listening to a propaganda machine that spews nothing but lies. That "news channel" is the latter.

[@tori2dles]

Michael Reyes - If Fox presented logical and factual talking points that could be discussed point by point without denigrating, demonizing and disdaining others, it might be worth a listen. Except for the actual news, all the other shows are misleading and, ofttimes, outright lying propaganda machines. But their methods are those labeled by psych-social pros as closed channel thinking errors. This is the type of behavior used by those with narcissistic, anti-social, borderline disorders. It’s what bullies, abusers and those with criminal personalities use. It is purposely crazy-making, gaslighting to opponents and incites mob-like mentalities in adherents. If one was to break down the techniques, arguments and rhetoric of the respective hosts, the pathologies of each would not be that of a healthy individual. It is difficult to hear because the hosts are arrogant, indignant and appeal to the “good guy” (hence all others are bad guys trying to tear down all of us who are good) mentality in it’s viewers. They stir up this sense of self-righteous anger and it is a power feeling that’s difficult to let go of once one has been hooked by it. So I get why she wrote what she wrote. To listen to Fox for any amount of time makes you feel crazy because they pack so much garbage together and it rains down on your head with such emotion, it’s destabilizing. And you can’t think fast enough to start unpacking it and answering each item because they’ve gone on to the next attack before you can.

[@littlebud95]

His reaction to Trump's kissy face in that movie is absolutely priceless

[@jenniferdavis8248]

That lady had to be a damn good actress to be able to call him pretty and look like she meant it. Ick!

[@thegrayyernaut]

@@jenniferdavis8248 I just believed that they weren't even on the same set so that the actress could actually do some acting.

[@DirtyPoul]

The corruption in the US is appaling. Here in Denmark, we get riled up when politicians have lunch with a lobbyist and the lobbyist pays for the meal as a token of gratitude for the politician spending his time listening to the lobbyist. $60 000 in campaign money from a single lobbyist group? That's absurd! You really need to set a limit for campaign spendings. Otherwise, this kind of corruption is going to continue.

[@alexparsells219]

I am from the US and I agree, unfortunately the people who have the capacity to change that are the ones who benefit from not changing it. We need to find some other way

[@corners3755]

"You really need to set a limit for campaign spendings. " Tried that. Then the Supreme Court struck it down because they say Money equals speech and violates free speech with campaign spending caps. It totally changed how elections were run here and billions of dollars have been pouring out into campaign ads, a lot of it shadow money from super pacs.

[@R4Y2k]

It's not like there's no corruption across europe but at least they try to hide it here :D

[@GoodGranted]

You know, you guys play identity politics like kindergarteners fighting over who has the coolest sneakers. Quite literally ignoring the fact that this message is an all paid for mega corporate hand out. Only 5 companies control your reality, and you will never question the unelected profit making machine, of which fuels distraction, corruption and the removal of your right to say or think anything that they haven't paid you to do. Yes, 1984 is quite the reality of today's world.

[@DirtyPoul]

@@GoodGranted I have no idea what you're trying to say.

[@cushcuthbertson-sewer2080]

Trump stood up there and told the crowd "I basically lied to you and you believed it" and I couldn't tell if they understood what he was saying or were too ignorant to admit it.

[@aderi31415]

He did the same thing with "lock her up," possibly at the same rally. "We used to say 'Lock Her Up!' and that played well before the election. Now we don't say that anymore." Probably not an exact quote but it was close.

[@willritter4076]

the gullible Trump base is less than 25% of the US electorate... it's the support from people who DONT believe him, who are making Trump's wacky presidency possible... I'd be honored if some fellow concerned citizens would check out my acoustic piano & vocal covers of PURPLE RAIN by Prince and PRAYING FOR TIME by George Michael on my channel in tribute to 2 of the greatest singer-songwriters in music history. Live acoustic with no autotune. Thanks and peace.

[@aoitamashii]

He also hasn't mentioned anything about Caravans or Borders since the day before the midterm election...

[@ExploreBaltimore]

They are dumber than shit.

[@JarthenGreenmeadow]

If thats not telling it like it is then I dont know what is lmfao. Honest Politician is an oxymoron.

[@sethhorras8519]

I love how John speaks his mind about things he doesn't like. He's a national treasure.

[@jacksonparker2260]

Is that Bob Murray at 7:20? He was preparing us this whole time

[@AnthonyGoodley]

15:00 You got to love when Trump straight up says that he only used the phrase "Drain The Swamp" as a campaign slogan and says he didn't meant it.

[@Derfalken]

'...Then I started saying it like I meant it.' It's baffling that people in the audience heard that and just laughed.

[@jokuvaan5175]

@@Derfalken Didn't you know. The people in camera behind Trump in his rallies are told to laugh at Trump's jokes and clap. There was even thks one guy who got removed and replaced because he didn't seem excited enough and was visibly baffled at some thimgs Trump said. He was replaced by one of Trump's campaign staff.

[@evan64915]

You also got to love that his supporters don't give a fuck

[@katiekane5247]

WWE has taken over the Whitehouse. Linda McMahon already has a cabinet position, hubby in line soon

[@jennycrystls9520]

That comment about seeing a red hat from the back is 1000% accurate.

[@81OH4Z4RD]

please be careful, some of us are decent Red Wings fans.

[@MsAdsdf]

Lol in philly I see then a lot but I know it's cause of the baseball team there..... and what about Mario costumes on Halloween night???

[@81OH4Z4RD]

exactly. bastards have taken enough away from us, they don't get to ruin red hats too.

[@LadyTylerBioRodriguez]

I live in Ohio. Nearly everyone wears red hats with the OSU logo. I still think ah goddamn it every time I see one because there is no difference between the two at a distance or from behind. Same exact color.

[@markfoster1520]

That's it! I propose a Red Hat Society... We'll have tea sometime.....

[@LukeMcGuireoides]

These videos are so damn good. I can go back and watch them months and years later and they're still great

[@Quatsch82]

7:27 Oh look, it's Bob Murray😂

[@honeyygutz]

I'm at 11:35 and I can't help but cry a little bit. I live in Louisiana and I remember my aunt and uncle having a crisis over the oil spill. They were in the seafood industry and after the BP oil spill, they lost their livelihood. My mother was sick with cancer and they *still* helped us to the best of their ability despite all of the turmoil they were in. I can't help but look at this as a detriment to the entirety of Louisiana, and I feel greatly for those affected. I'm sobbing just hearing about this over again.

[@rizzferguson60]

kuma queen Wishing you all the best. Stay strong :)

[@BlueDrakk]

I am SO sorry, I can't even imagine... Wishing for strength for your family. It's easy to dismiss the MAGA people as crazy but they are still people too, people that continue to be duped by a psychopath president who is destroying the livelihood of the average american. That being said I don't feel sorry for them. I hope your family is able to recover.

[@hammburgerman4633]

I am so sorry, truly

[@mariamederos7872]

El Chapo for D.E.A. Director

[@davidbrown160]

Um... that would result in no changes...

[@Glock_Nico]

Drug Czar!

[@aidendeangelo1509]

David Brown that’s the joke

[@oghenetegaagege9669]

Brilliant! Haha!

[@gloomyblackfur399]

I would actually approve of that. The DEA needs to be shut down. The war on drugs has been a catastrophic failure.

[@KasCalwein]

The neckbeard in the audience wearing a MAGA hat at 15:39 is pretty much how I picture Trump's 4chan-fanboys.

[@amberlance3221]

He is blatantly saying "I will say whatever I have to, to get what I want" and his supporters behind him are standing there with a dopey smile

[@mollyoneal1778]

" I am a geologist" weird flex, but okay.

[@amandacorbin6214]

i wanted to say this

[@jotabeas22]

Stop trying to push that phrase.

[@enoch9019]

@@amandacorbin6214 weird flex but okay

[@emilyb.8219]

Peculiar boast, but alas

[@denz4133]

this was more funny that when George Costanza would pretend he was an architect.

[@turkishvan2]

Can we take a moment to appreciate how wonderful swamps actually are? They are hot spots of biodiversity, the produce lots of oxygen, and protect from flooding. Swamps are great.

[@olivero.1877]

I also don’t like that metaphor for that exact reason

[@jaridkeen123]

if anyone wants to know a Razzie Award is an insult it means you were in the worst movie of that year.

[@albertrogers2506]

Thank you!

[@rochester212]

Insult? It's an actual award, they give you a statue just like at the Oscars, you can give a speech etc. Any award involving receiving a statue is an award worth having(as long as it doesn't involve crime of course).

[@hardwork3053]

normie x what are you on about? It’s a joke award given to the worst movie that year.

[@guyallen8844]

@@rochester212 I would be proud to get a Razzie, it is a film award after all. I think the Halle Berry Catwoman movie has one.

[@Towerofhell]

@@guyallen8844 Not only does it have one. I believe I read that Halle Berry showed up to receive it

[@hannahduffell4763]

4:07 That dude looks like a sad, straight version of RuPaul

[@moviesinclusive]

I A M A G E O L O G I S T Is this guy Randy Marsh?

[@nytecrow6452]

Or Bert from TBBT?

[@thomasoberg1500]

He is Lorde, ya ya ya!

[@WlatPziupp]

No, Randy Marsh is a geologist

[@totesnotahipster]

I'm sorry I thought this was america

[@OfficialFno]

Weird flex but ok

[@michaelhilliard2370]

Here's the thing, though, and he even included this near the beginning (and I wished he addressed it more): Trump supporters *don't care.* Their definition of 'the swamp' is 'people who look down on me,' not 'people who are shady and corrupt, who accept bribes from special interests, who waste government money, who work against the purpose of their office, etc.' *Being a millionaire (even if by shady means...) is regarded as a virtue.* These same people often think that concerns about the environment and global warming are either hoaxes or at the very least, overblown, and standing in the way of jobs and the economy. I wish John would have focused on how these people are bad for Trump supporters self-interests--that might be a way of actually convincing people who support Trump that this is a problem. Otherwise, this is primarily just red meat for people who dislike Trump. That's fine, and not unimportant (it is worth pointing out all the crooked things the Trump administration and appointees are doing), but it's not very productive if we're going to try to convince anyone to think and vote differently. Anyway, that's my two cents.

[@cavalrycome]

Another important factor is tribalism. Everything is so politicized that the position a person takes on these issues becomes a way of signaling group membership and that tends to override whatever evidence and arguments are offered for and against a position.

[@shivamshukla6359]

Michael you have spoken the truth like a god. The millions on the right with their unjust or irrational views don't want to be questioned. For them elites are the college educated free thinkers who question or even mock them. That is their swamp. The rich folks who promise protecting their way of life in exchange of power or money reap huge benefits because of their shaky ethics. This is the reason why Trump doesn't speak a coherent, well structured and meaningful sentence because he doesn't have to, his support base doesn't listen to what he speaks, they already trust him. So while Jesus spoke in parables, Trump speaks in meaningless catchphrases.

[@jlind3161]

People who vote for Trump are full of fear of change, of changing the status quo. The world, the universe can only exist if it changes continuously. That is a fact. Trump supporters are fighting the unfigthable. Change. Evolution. Life. Many of those are uneducated, but they are not the problem, they just want to be given respect to. Those educated Trump voters who are full of fear of loosing their status, these are the enemies of every conscious human. Not just for americans. People who "rule" them know that, so those "leaders" use that knowledge for their own lazy agenda. Which is being a thief. Greetz&love&peace Jo&π

[@michaelhilliard2370]

@@shivamshukla6359 haha, thanks :). In general, I agree with you, though I would be a little careful, because it seems (and forgive me if I'm wrong here) you're implying people on the left don't have similar biases and faults. I think a lot of people in either 'camp,' tend to oversimplify things, tend to like slogans without having solid reasoning to back up their views, or even have times when they're hypocritical. For examples, we can look at things like students on college campuses trying to shut down speech they disagree with, the antivaxxers, and many people who can't defend their views when presented with counter evidence (here on KZbin you can find plenty of examples). I think everyone would benefit from examining their beliefs more closely and engaging more with people they disagree with in a constructive way.

[@shivamshukla6359]

@@michaelhilliard2370 I am not from left and for majority of life called myself centre right. I know that everyone has their biases. A lot of late night shows worship Obama who was one of the best leaders in this generation but still not a god. Yes almost everyone simplifies and the ones who oppose conservatives are not liberal and rational always. But I have realised that right wingers give refuge to some terrible problems which hurt society more. Like I know that anti vaxxers are stupid and if there can be law to make vaccination compulsory it would be great, but mass shootings are ignored just because there are vested interests.

[@VengefulAngeI]

I swear, John Oliver is my soul mate. I've suspected this for awhile, as we seemingly share the same exact stance on every issue, but when he stressed the "text, don't call" issue, it sealed the deal! Seriously. I HATE when people call me or want me to call them. The worst is when they TEXT the words "call me". WTF do you mean?!

[@megalodon1834]

you're such an attractive woman :(

[@gregmendoza1915]

Bru

[@mikaelgaiason688]

John is a presenter who says whatever his team of writers wrote down for him. Why don't people ever get this?

[@bettygreenhansen]

John Oliver, A brilliant beacon of wisdom on so many topical subjects! Thank you for doing you so well 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@scottt3269]

If you get campaign funds from the payday loan industry, it should be a requirement that such contributions only come in the form of a payday loan.

[@48917032]

Sadly, for a Trump minion, EVERY day is payday

[@RB-yp2jo]

1:43 fun fact: there actually is an all-dog zoo in Japan! It’s called WanWan (WoofWoof) Land, and it’s pretty cute

[@godsperfectfailures796]

Fuck the US! (Not the police) Heil Hentai!

[@NitinMurthy]

THANK YOU FOR THIS

[@nihilisticspacelizard1868]

There’s also one in North Korea’s capital because they couldn’t really afford anything else.

[@juliejay5436]

Art Turtle ok, airplane tickets to Japan, please. I am going to get myself some woof woof holiday 😎

[@thomasclarke8550]

Well, after I’m done visiting Germany imma head to japan

[@L8MeGuess]

He just admitted the secret of his lies. He tries it out. Then says it as if he means it. People believe him. On to the next.

[@twstf8905]

Hahaha "Scooch the Swamp," lol that's awesome 😂 👍

[@knoxolotl2599]

"I'm a geologist." Weird flex but ok.

[@BlackiJ11]

aww fuck, I'm 3 hours too late. Good for you

[@lilbigbozo]

Yup was about to comment and mentally scream John missed the best opportunity to use weird flex but ok

[@4thworldwilderness390]

*odd spasm* ! 😂

[@peoplesrepublicofliberland5606]

The only flex I want is flex tpae

[@BethAnnMayberry]

The internet had ruined me. That was my exact thought as well. #ImAFreakingMemeWhore

[@fredn8665]

That kissy face will be in my nightmares until 2020

[@Konayo_]

"You noticed" 🤓

[@PinguinodelRio]

In your nightmares ONLY until 2020?

[@That80sGuy1972]

Fun fact about movies with Trump in them. Instead of him being paid, he pays to be in them. He is his own, always has been his own, product endorsement.

[@Dao128]

I offer a solution: buy a punching bag, some tape, print out that face, and voila!: Free therapy!

[@That80sGuy1972]

@@Dao128 That is a 10/10 solution!

[@lazerbeam134]

That dude saying we can't get energy from trees...someone ought to get Neil DeGrasse Tyson to explain to him what oil is lmao

[@chronochrome7837]

Oliver's reaction to the kissy face is his best reaction to something yet.

[@skjelm6363]

Nowadays: when comedy frightens me and politics make me laugh

[@BlueScreenHF]

Really? You actually find this show funny?

[@skjelm6363]

@@BlueScreenHF Nowadays: When people tell everyone what they don't like and pretending to be a bad troll is funny.

[@jerkoffprofessionally6280]

John has a way to make even the hardest subjects seem funny just using the facts . Only talk show i watch.

[@taochi100]

Completely true.

[@BlueGlow26]

Well said…

[@GeneralDurandal]

I love how stupid evil people are. I hate how passive good people are.

[@mixedbusiness1]

Ugh this spoke to my soul. Young Floridian here, so many good meaning progressives around my age that just can't be bothered to vote.

[@ImperiaGin]

@@mixedbusiness1 this midterm election had the highest voter turnout in a long time. Largely because of young people. Progressives may not have won everywhere. But there was a blue wave in a lot of areas. Especially in Texas,where Dems were winning left and right. Beto lost but his impact in the state will last for a while. So many Dems either won or lost by a small margin. Even ojeda closed a large gap. He lost by 11 points but Trump had won his district by like 30 points. I'd expect in 2020 the voter turnout will be either just as much or greater. More and more young people are voting.

[@Luvenia48]

General, your comment is sad BUT true. It is time for the peace loving to wake up and understand that you can NOT win a gun fight with words. Trump and his gang would walk over the dying and dead bodies of any American for a dollar and some power. To bad his PUPPETS don't get that.

[@Dannymiles1987]

Keith Jackson sounds like the good people are pussies. 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@Soletestament]

@@Luvenia48 violence only ever begets violence. The only time it doesn't is through overwhelming defeat of a single side. Last time that happened in this country was the civil war.... and lets not pretend that ended well. As its propaganda and economic ramifications solidified the racism in this country and poverty in the south... TO THIS DAY. I'm not saying to lay down and die. But there are better less evil ways to get what you want without resorting to taking the lives of others. The catch is knowingly putting yourself in front of the sword armed only with the power you have as a citizen. Young people especially. Get enough kids to die at the hands of police while resisting and protesting Trump, and you'll have another civil rights movement wash over this country.

[@edosupra14]

People need to listen to John more The world would be a better place

[@maggieh9782]

Me: hey dad have you heard of Ryan Zinky? My dad (an actual geologist): oh that f*****

[@heehee254]

“I’m a geologist” John: weird flex but okay

[@niceguy2171]

Usually love when John shows the hypocrisy and ridiculousness of the administration, but that clip of the movie trump got the Razzie from? There is not enough therapy in the world to undo that! Thanks John!

[@maryalaya09]

Ditto. 😁

[@valhalla1240]

That light reflcting off the spit on his lower lip dried my vagina out for good. There is no Charlie-Hunnam-lovescene steamy enough to cure me.

[@pebbles5087]

niceguy217 LOL

[@comradegarrett1202]

😘

[@crosswhichofcrosswych1494]

Right? CANNOT UNSEE Mean, John. Mean.

[@Schwarzkald]

I knew that from the beginning. He didn't drain the swap, he enlarged it and threw in some caimans, snakes and crocodiles.

[@brettkane9175]

I was more concerned when he said "the birds and the bees" as if he was expecting machines to be powered by sex!

[@KysonChannell]

Yeah I thought the same

[@basicallycroft946]

What if we power sex machines with expectations

[@Chunkboi]

Oingo Boingo actually wrote a song about it...

[@richardadams4928]

I dunno, that sounds like a GREAT idea. I'm willing to do my part ....

[@dinamosflams]

I like the way you think

[@raiknightshade3442]

Ok so..... We all agree we're gonna text the oil rig safety guy en masse right? Ya know, to teach him not to give out his digits like that and also to tell him what a shit job he's doing as the head of safety?

[@metu5818]

What are we saying? Gotta keep it in context don't want to give excuse for DRUMPF to keep their umber S and communication top secret

[@msjkramey]

Keep it civil. We don't want bad press on it. Just make demands for safety of workers and the protection of local economies/marine life

[@thedarknesst5995]

@@XxTripleGhostxX don't do that, it'll be a public record

[@RyanTaylor-tw4fr]

[phone]

[@XxTripleGhostxX]

@@thedarknesst5995 what's the problem about that?

[@bradleyheater1775]

Hiring a coal lobbyist to run the EPA is like hiring Michael Vick to watch your dogs.

[@thevampireyahweh5253]

Or hiring Jared from Subway to watch your kids.

[@crispinrocha4511]

Or having Jack kevorkien preform your surgery.

[@satoshiserge]

That's funny

[@thevampireyahweh5253]

Crispin Rocha , haha yes!

[@tenacious645]

@@crispinrocha4511 That doesn't really follow. He was openly honest about his assisted suicides, and never wanted to hurt anyone.

[@tzvikrasner6073]

Just gonna say: For all his jokes about nerds not getting any, John's wife is a freaking Goddess.

[@royalewithcheese7]

She is also an absolute badass

[@craigbatchelor6869]

Yes,yes she is

[@whiterottenrabbit]

Watching this in 2019. Spoiler alert: he still didn't drain the swamp...

[@timothyball3144]

And it's become clear that what he now means by the swamp is people that disagree with him. Just like fake news is news that shows him in a less than stellar light.

[@tylerclements5636]

Watching this in 2020. Spoiler alert: he still didn't drain the swamp...

[@gg454lune]

@@tylerclements5636 And let's assume he still won't drain the swamp in any of the next four years if he's re-elected. Not now, not next year, never.

[@bellzhellz5922]

Far as I can tell hes only drained the swamps out of his golf courses.. and straight into the white house..

[@John-el5sv]

Plot twist: He's the swamp now.

[@t.p.w.6343]

Jesus H., when are all the people going to wake up and see "BRIBE" when they hear "LOBBYING"?!

[@CaptainDoomsday]

Does anyone not? It's super obvious; I just think people are apathetic about it. "Oh well there's nothing we can do" people say when the only things they could do are very inconvenient.

[@amishrobots]

the thing is, not ALL lobbying is corporate-funded bribery. There are plenty of citizen lobbyists, actually trying to push back; they just don't have the money to compete.

[@CaptainDoomsday]

@@amishrobots So technically, all EFFECTIVE lobbying is bribery.

[@paulmryglod4802]

@@CaptainDoomsday if being effective requires money, money gets what it wants

[@f_USAF-Lt.G]

So, when they gonna hear "Pay To Play" when they hear "If you gave us money, you might get listened to."

[@mitchkettles5242]

I used to love my plain red baseball cap, but Trump's ruined it for me

[@KhanWolf95]

@Omar 1111 Oh cry me a river and go watch something else.

[@rickmainecali]

Mitch Kettles me too

[@ForrestFox626]

Omar 11112 Pretty sure Drumpf did more damage to the US than anything Hilary did to you.

[@gregorygomez6629]

I have to stop watching. I am feeling a mixture of anxiety, depression and major ANGER and the know nothing SIMPLETONS in this country who are frankly so stupid that they were actually conned by a very unintelligent man and as a result, our country , hell, the world, is in grave danger....

[@48917032]

And now his puppeteer ruined the letter Z. Fun times!

[@christineegan465]

Aww, missed joke: "La Quinta has the lotion to help you with the motion!"

[@HermanMunster420]

Draining the swamp sounds like Stalin purging the party.

[@rickmainecali]

Louis E. Same people.

[@HalfDemonInuyasha]

"I love the uneducated" - Drumpf.

[@gunchar06]

@John Sterling The best propaganda source against Trump is still Trump himself, by far...

[@emdolokhov7848]

@John Sterling kzbin.info/www/bejne/hWqpZ3h3grWer5Y

[@dilet8923]

That why he loves himself soooo much 🤣

[@homegirl011]

@John Sterling doesnt know what propaganda means

[@otnat2094]

Explains why he loves himself so much.

[@NappyPappy4life]

is so sad seeing the people in the background when trump LITERALLY says he didnt mean the phrase that ALMOST figured out what they just did by voting for this guy...you see some of them change their face and look around like "did he just say that?" and then less than 30 sec later they are right back in the cult...its so damn sad

[@chrisp2481]

NappyPappy4life was just thinking that

[@caelidhg6261]

they are idiots. I keep thinking.. they must be all paid shills.. but I still have a cousin who is a dyed in the wool Trumpian.. tells me that "We need Trump at this time".. I have all but given up on him...

[@jasonmccord8063]

For real. We all need to vote this tool out in 2020

[@sycamorebacker1]

Trump has been one of our best Presidents. It was a total blessing for the country that he was elected.

[@jasonmccord8063]

@@sycamorebacker1 you're one of those special kinds of idiots...bless your heart

[@pinkmilk3889]

the way everyone stops clapping after john says trump is amazing

[@nicholaspowell8262]

You can see a man looking very much like Bob Murray sitting two seats away from Wheeler in that Rick Perry meeting.

[@christopher3377]

When Trump says drain the swamp, he means getting rid of anybody that doesn't agree with him.

[@iamaguy7986]

Because liberals are stupid, no more than that

[@jasminsekic3758]

at least he doesn't throw shit,hot coffee,period blood,piss,spit, did i miss anything

[@dennis68481]

It’s not a swamp anymore it’s a CESSPOOL.

[@murderousintent7838]

a swamp is an area of land that is always in a perpetual state of being wet and never dry, a cesspool is a hole underneath a house that is full of shit which were common before sewer systems Cesspool is appropriate

[@nikk-named]

I thought that was a reference to Beka Cooper though it actually doesn't make sense if it would be... Still... Anyone read these books?

[@tomthecasual5337]

journalist: "so what is an elitists to you?" random guy: "An elitist is a person who acts like he's smarter than me just because he's smarter than me." Also, im a geologist. no, no, for real... im a geologist...

[@ajz9575]

I'm a geologist too! A real one! :D

[@albertrogers2506]

There is an actual elite, but very few of them now are the people with money. The elite are people with brains who actually like their work, and whose work actually benefits The People.

[@albertrogers2506]

Actually, some of us try not to be too obvious about it. There's even an instance where some poor woman who thinks that the Bible can prove things, was egged into arguing with Aron Ra, and after telling her that she was hopelessly wrong, blamed her atheist son who put her up to such embarrassment, as cruel.

[@KayleeCee]

And yet, swamp is swampier than ever.

[@Zeales]

The people who should be watching and learning from this is the exact people who will call this Fake News and shrug it off.

[@patw9175]

"This British 4 eyes is using words I don't know so it's F A K E N E W S"

[@diptarkadas5193]

@John Sterling So will you be able to disprove any of the information provided in this video? Or prove it is propaganda?

[@purplemamba5510]

@John Sterling This isn't propaganda, it doesn't even fit into the definition of it.

[@nickmessner700]

It's a pretty simple way of looking at things. People avoid the things they need but don't like. I desperately need a gym membership and something resembling a vegetable, do you think either of those are on my to do list? No. Not even close. I may just drink fryer oil for dinner. Because America.

[@robinmiller1989]

@@nickmessner700 for real though, take care of yourself brother. Eat some spinach :)

[@Cenentury0941]

I think a sentient piece of coal would be against the mining and combustion of it's brethren and as such pro-alternative sources of energy. I'd vote for it.

[@radical9er]

Trump idea of draining the swamp meant draining it from water and frogs and filling it with sewer and aligators.

[@thewess26]

Hiring a coal man, for the EPA, is the same as Hiring Casey Anthony for a babysitter!

[@opheliawhite9740]

That kissy face. That actress deserves a lot of awards for staying in character.

[@jayj3000]

😘

[@BackwardGalaxy]

To be fair, in the shot of him with that face, he's the only one in the shot. Maybe they filmed in separate rooms. LOL

[@jayj3000]

he's got those mushy slobbery L Ron Hubbard lips

[@Avnirvana1]

TBF it’s Bo Derek. She only has a career because her husband used their marriage to trick her into making soft core porn

[@Sushi2735]

Simply brilliant! Applies to Trump today! You are the funniest man alive, just brilliant 💖

[@InfiniteDarkMass]

The connections here seem as clear as day, and it boggles my mind that such practices are still going on in America.

[@Technodreamer]

Something nobody ever seems to notice, and overstretching the metaphor, but: draining swamps isn't even a good thing to do! Swamps are vital ecosystems and we've drained too goddamn many wetlands across the US, at high costs in habitat and water management, over the last few hundred years!

[@dragonflower50]

Yes, it’s a stupid metaphor. But what do you expect from Trump and his idiotic supporters? They don’t know what words mean.

[@Kyle-gl2ck]

You know there are stagnant swamps that need to be drained...

[@denverdenver82]

you do realize it's 1 swamp? And it's a swamp thay can produce for the whole country..

[@davidcook3900]

@@Kyle-gl2ck Trump is King God Slayer Missionary Style, Hillary is snake and water gate was lizard people. Time to drain the swamp of muck and lube. 5 mins could save you hundreds!! Trump and Alex Jones 2020!!! Let's let sloppy Joe know, Its time to go!!!

[@TrogdorBurnin8or]

Would you prefer "Kill the entire Vietnamese population in order to destroy the Communists" as a metaphor? Because that's how the phrase came into popularity in DC.

[@eeshwar25]

I'm genuinely afraid for the planet.

[@MisterCovek]

Tell that to China and India. No amount of Western green tech is gonna right their wrongs. And I'm not even a Westerner.

[@nickdouglas736]

@@MisterCovek No but at least we can do our part instead of doing nothing and pointing fingers.

[@EziooAuditore]

@@MisterCovek When you look at the energy consumption per citizen, a Chinese citizen consumes 4 times less energy than an American one. And even if we accepted that China and India were doing worse, it's still not a reason to give up. We have to do whatever we can to save the planet.

[@mightymouse5930]

The planet will be fine, the problem is the people on this planet.

[@aeonyx_cinereus]

Abandon hope! You'll feel better.

[@cameronwulff]

Drain the swamp. He made the swamp so crowded that Shrek wanted to leave

[@xnightxskyex]

First time I heard "Drain the Swamp", I really thought it was referring to Florida and literally draining the swamp. I was very concerned about the environmental ramifications that would result from draining Florida and disrupting the ecosystem. In my mind, these horrid people were trying to decrease livable areas for gators :,( until I found out what they actually meant

[@loughkb]

I'd vote for the guy who want's to make Bribery illegal again.

[@nancyhiggins3578]

Kevin Loughin p

[@f_USAF-Lt.G]

Well, as a Republican, I'll let you know that you'll have to think outside the box for that one, but free me from the Republican BOX OF HORROR! DON'T JUST THINK THERE, HELP ME ESCAPE IT TOO!!

[@dawiser1]

His name is Bernie Sanders

[@millerrepin4452]

And his name is JOHN CENA!

[@getchasome6230]

Bernie sanders is a complete hack. Fuck that loser sellout

[@occamsrazor1285]

3:30 “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” The only reason you're advocating for the rich is because your desperate to believe the lie that they'll make you rich too. You're only a rung on the ladder of success to them.

[@eyeseer1]

"Behind every great fortune there is a crime." ~ Balzac. Just ask Bernie Madoff or research Enron.

[@jgonascar]

eyeseer1 This is why millennials are embracing Socialism

[@JarthenGreenmeadow]

No one makes anyone else rich. People make themselves rich.

[@devilinav7494]

Jarthen Greenmeadow No, other people ALWAYS make the wealthy rich.

[@andrewthezeppo]

@@JarthenGreenmeadow hahahahaha Trump's dad didn't make him rich? The Walton's dad didn't make them rich? Betsy DeVos's dad didn't make her rich? You're an idiot.

[@JuniperSt]

It really worries me that I NEED to use a VPN to watch this show in Canada...

[@michellebudd3887]

Ryan Zinke: "I'm a geologist" John Oliver: "weird flex but ok"

[@rjlindey62]

Peter Dinklage" "I'm the starting center for the LA Lakers."

[@axelkennedal5656]

How did anyone expect an ogre to drain a swamp? He loves the swamp!

[@felixvelariusbos]

Hey now, please don't drag Shrek into this. Shrek's a good guy. I'd vote for him or Fiona any day every day.

[@santiagobarratt-boyes5558]

Don’t come at shrek like that

[@joejoelesh1197]

Love the red hat joke. Similar thing happened to me. My company's color is red, and I was wearing a company hat the other day, eating at a nice farm to table restaurant. When I put it on after standing up at the table, the waiter paused his conversation with my colleague, looked directly at my hat, and said, "Oh God, for a second there, I thought it was one of those red hats". We both laughed. My S.O. has told me not to wear any red hat when we are out.

[@glitchmaster2228]

Recently got an ad of trump saying he's almost done draining the swamp. I had no idea he was talking about this. I live in Florida, locals here call it the swamp. I was sitting here wondering how the hell he was managing to pull that off.

[@dheeraj420]

I'm a geologist. Weird flex but ok.

[@whitneyfluttershyelizabeth]

Dee :3 I thought this exact thing xD

[@fundinkuta7082]

twitter fam

[@timstiteler4817]

I'm a botanical psychologist

[@TheZGALa]

lol

[@nicbell8090]

I was waiting for this comment, didn’t take long

[@techgoggles]

Seagull joke was the best

[@Ferriswheel31]

It would have been slightly enhanced if his nameplate said "Steven Seagull"

[@KysonChannell]

Every time I see a dollar bill with Mnuchin's name on it I can't help but think of John's "man crush" 😂😂

[@TGmang0]

15:30 he literally says he never intended it to catch on or drain anything

[@Ketraar]

Its a cult, do you really think anyone heard what he said or even understood what he meant. Do you think he did? In Trump cult people come with the opinions, the answers and all they need is the sounds of the cult leader, regardless of what it contains. He could call them all idiots (would not be the first time) and they would cheer.

[@Matt-ys7yt]

@@Ketraar Seriously. As he is saying it, the people behind him are just laughing. Those are the same people that if you had asked them a month before that why they are voting for Trump, "Draining the swamp" would be at the top of that list.

[@Sammo212]

@@Ketraar I agree, just look at how much the cult of each past president has ignored all of their bullshit. Why would it be any different in this one?

[@niceguy2171]

@@Matt-ys7yt , and the shocking thing is..if they were interviewed now..they would say it again!

[@fede018]

Quote this next time someone calls you an NPC

[@brandontherabboat4850]

Trump and his administration played their voters like a fiddle.

[@vertsang5424]

Not really. They told them the truth and these guys didn’t understood how messed up their views are. If someone tell you they will rape you and your first reaction is to bend over...you are just a trash (even if the other one is hot). I never understood what people hate about liberals...their defaults are also their biggest qualities

[@Dannymiles1987]

The republicans “serve” they’re voters. Think about that. It’s not the other way around.

[@viper0111]

I thought Skull Face already did that?

[@samuelrs5138]

To be fair, Trump has stuck to his campaign promises almost 100%. He's also made much much much more progress on them than almost every other modern President has with their's. I don't agree with most of his policies but he's probably been one of the most effective Presidents ever as far as getting his agenda through and it hasn't even been two years yet. I believe the only thing he was really blocked on was a repeal/replace of DACA and he was literally a single vote in the Senate away from that. God bless John McCain.

[@Annatar.]

@Safespace Invader They also wanted economic benefits ("lower taxes", "american jobs",...) of which they are being betrayed massively.

[@elplumaje]

7:02 the "goddamit" was spot on! 😂😂😂

[@PaperPlateClorox]

“Don’t worry ladies, I’m a geologist.”

[@aldenheterodyne2833]

Anyone else planning to call that guy at odd hours of the night?

[@jokuvaan5175]

Apparently the number was already taken down.

[@iloveyourunclebob]

I'm sure this second this aired he started getting calls and texts. I'm sure it was like an hour at most of being bombarded before he got a hold of his phone company

[@ixlnxs]

No, only office hours. But I'm in Africa.

[@BaronVonQuiply]

No, not at all. I'm calling on the even hours.

[@Hagle234]

I'm gonna ask him "where the hoes at?"

[@gaminglegend2670]

Ok Drain the swamp episode, I was sure that I would get my random frog facts this time, but I didn't !!!😡😡 PLEASE GIVE US RANDOM FROG FACTS!!!

[@a_diamond]

Too easy to start mentioning toads.. then toadies.. and then they aren't random facts about frogs anymore.. so they resisted the temptation all together... ;)

[@BaronVonQuiply]

1) Bufo Alvarius is the toad people refer to when talking about toad licking as it does in fact secrete bufotenin (5-hydroxy-DMT, but don't lick toads, it's not DMT and it's not fun). 2) There is no scientific distinction between a frog and a toad.

[@lemaygaming6952]

@@BaronVonQuiply Keep going, I was masturbating to this and I'm not finished yet.

[@BaronVonQuiply]

@@lemaygaming6952 Oh, fuck. Sorry. How rude of me. 3) Michael Crichton wrote frogs into Jurassic Park as a method of introducing unplanned males, perhaps based on the Common Reed Frog doing the same female->male change (however if you were reconstructing dino-DNA today you'd use birds). 4) There is another frog species with venom containing a potent non-narcotic painkiller that's also incredibly toxic and does not activate opioid receptors. Definitely don't lick that one. 5) I dissected a frog in 7th grade that had 3 kidneys. It wasn't a freak or anything. I just had weird friends and one of them had a frog with -two- one kidney.

[@CasaiAgicap]

Certain species of frog lay eggs on their mate's back, and there's this horrifying, HR Geiger-esque situation where baby frogs start hopping out of a mesh coating on the back of a frog.

[@FakeAccount-gc6di]

I'm going to run for office under the phrase "drain the abcess"

[@KB-zq9ny]

It's sad how much big business controls things.

[@beast1elsayeda]

'Im a geologist' *weird flex but ok*

[@colleenharrison1638]

I already saw this comment, but I liked it so I could be number two hundred. You're welcome.

[@jochemdolle5173]

Noooo I was gonna say that

[@LeBonkJordan]

needs to be top comment

[@napoleonb55]

I guess he was HIGH on Pot Noose

[@not2be4gotten02]

"You're too pretty to be bad" well that really didn't age well

[@MelissaMachine5000]

neither did he

[@jayj3000]

😘

[@mkadoza]

That comment wasnt born well.

[@autohmae]

It was already wrong at that time and only gotten worse.

[@HerpDerpTheTank]

In today's society, you can't be bad looking to people as long as you are rich.

[@courtneywoodbury5198]

Still having your old rock collection sitting in the basement does not qualify one as a geologist.

[@stephenwright8824]

And in the fifth year, Shrek said, "Get out of my swamp!" Lucky for us, the Orange Bowling Pin did as it was told, probably for the first time in its sorry life. Just our bad luck the Tangerine Jesus would try his best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression a year or so later: "I'll be back!"

[@GDBOYFilms]

Zinke has a degree in geology but never had a job in the field. He said *"I studied geology as a result of closing my eyes and randomly pointing to a major from the academic catalog, and I never looked back. I am just glad I did not find electronics,"* (he went to college on football scholarship the article mentions)

[@rea8585]

And yet, people keep voting far-right against corruption the same way you hope light mayonnaise will help you to lose weight.

[@That80sGuy1972]

"And yet, people keep voting far-right against corruption the same way you hope light mayonnaise will help you to lose weight." I'm stealing that line. Thank you. It's mine now!

[@Ichigo111293]

Miracle Whip is better, anyway. :3

[@matthewstobber8309]

Isn't this also an argument against government in general? The right/libertarians want less government power, which means less nodes on that tree graph of sub-agencies.

[@kittendivine1]

Except that they're voting for extra fat mayonnaise. 'It's extra fat? Owh I love that. That just means it's a rich mayonnaise, that's not a crime. At least it's not a mainstream mayonnaise. It's an extra fat DIET mayonnaise, it says so on the label. It's here to help the many fat people like me'.

[@YouAintGotNoTegridyBoi]

@G hillary is just as bad an option. Don't vote for her of all people.

[@CookedByMarcus]

Nobody's Ryan zinkle: I'm a geologist

[@killinsta557]

the elitest joke is so fucking perfect holy shit

[@jordansullivan5764]

John is on fire in this one. Hilarious and informative.

[@DutchStar]

Jordan Sullivan informative 👌🏼😂

[@ApoorvDubeycool]

Jordan Sullivan.....John is always on fire

[@caseybever]

Little known fact. La Quinta is spanish for "next to denny's"

[@soccerruben1]

7:19 Oh look who it is, next to Andrew Wheeler who is sitting next to Energy Secretary Rick Perry? Our boi Bob Murray whose lawsuit got dropped by a judge.