Least Favourite Parts of Being Autistic

[@steveneardley7541]

Not having a clue about something that's going on socially, and feeling like there is no way to begin to understand it, because people don't like being honest about that kind of stuff. So you don't learn from it. You can't learn from it, and these situations happen over and over. If I am in a group for a long time, I will eventually get better at navigating that particular group, and sometimes what I learn there can be applied to other situations. I find that my neurotypical friends have absolutely no idea what I go through. They think I'm smart, and just assume that I can read a situation intelligently. I can't, and there are lots of repercussions, not the least of which is losing friends. I think they misread my "direct, blunt" style of communication as some kind of choice--a poor choice. But It isn't a choice; it's the only way I know how to communicate.

[@siobhanboyle8105]

It’s hard that “spontaneity” is considered so great and fun but it’s not fun for me. I’ve been picked on for being inflexible. But I don’t like sudden changes to my schedule and having my routines disrupted.

[@HannahHäggAutisticTransWoman]

I have the same problem changes is extremely hard for me. It literally stresses me out.

[@kkuudandere]

My least favorite thing about being autistic is probably my inertia lol. It can be so hard for me to start something, but once I get going then I can't stop until the thing is complete. Which is sometimes a GREAT skill if I'm working, but then it's just so silly and inconvenient when I need to do something like get up and brush my teeth

[@walpolekidscomics879]

Yes I can easily neglect people and healthy living for months if I'm working on a project and then when I can't get back to it I get depressed

[@MaryKDayPetrano]

I love that !, "I can't physically be in here" and I totally get that ! It's the same for me. But not just bright lights - also loud noises, too much speech, and hundreds and hundreds of food (even on people's breath and clothes) and chemical smells !!!!!!!!!! I can't physically be in those places and experience a survival reaction I have to get out ! Immediately !!

[@Surreally_St]

Bad smells make me retch, it's awful

[@spudmadethis]

I get that in shopping malls, cannot go into those things cos when that smell/sound/increase in volume of bodies happens I cannot find the exit 😵‍💫

[@twn1701b]

I definitely understand the aversion to bright lights. I had an appointment at a job centre where they'd asked me beforehand if there were any accommodations that I required, so I asked if the appointment could be in a separate room with the flourescent lights off. It ended up being at a brightly-lit desk in the middle of the office with about six other conversations going on around us. They said what I asked for weren't the sort of accommodations they meant. I agree with so much of what you said, but the unnecessarily bright, overstimulating public spaces make me feel physically sick. Thanks as always for the video. Toby

[@olivierf2938]

The thing about the lights in recent public buildings is crazy. What do you mean you can't adjust it ? I have been at a relaxation activity where there was guided meditation in a psychiatric institution and they don't have the means to adjust the lights, it's incredibly stupid with all the norms they have to account for, they can't have a switch for each room. Lay down and shut your eyes and try to ignore the fluorescent lights burning through eyelids.

[@nanwilder2853]

I’m inclined to think that you’re just getting blown off, when told that there’s nothing they can do. . . Unless we start speaking up/self-advocating, crap like what you’ve so beautifully described above, will continue to be the “norm”.

[@LightofLucifer-m8q]

I hate it when people treat me like I'm mentally slow once they find out I'm on the spectrum.🫤

[@Surreally_St]

Or when they say you can't be autistic because you are not intellectually disabled.

[@JessJordan-c8e]

Omg that’s what I call my experience too Adrenaline shakes. Usually happens to me when I’m masking, being social and suppressing myself, it has happened before at the psychologist or happens after the event when I get home. I thought it was an anxiety thing but realising it’s probably from social things and masking autistic traits that cause the physical anxiety.

[@DanaAndersen]

There’s sooo many things I just blamed on me being anxious that I’m only know registering as also tying into being autistic, it’s so validating to know other people experience the same thing too

[@meganw6007]

About the ~14:25 stuff with certain places only choosing to do "sensory friendly" performance theater at, like you say, like f***in' 6am on a Friday, I read something a while back about how that's basically the exact same concept as bars or pubs that do a "happy hour" (not sure whether that's also common in the UK or just here stateside) where the REASON they do that is TO try to still rake in profits in hours that they're not even busy in the first place ... That is, they're not even doing anything TO truly Accommodate us; they're just trying to get our autistic money by saying (without saying) "well, we're not busy on Tuesday mornings before 10am, so we'll do 'sensory friendly' then!!" ... but it's just so they can try to get more money anyway I'm so hella cynical about it, cuz it doesn't even feel genuine at all; just like they're saying "yeah yeah, fuck your disability. Now give us money..."

[@DanaAndersen]

Gosh it’s so annoying! There’s a few cinemas near me that do neurodivergent friendly viewings on a few random mornings, and I always just wonder who wants to wake up and be watching a random movie in a cinema at 11AM, (obviously if it’s a new movie I’m excited about I would), so it just being a time they need to sell more tickets makes so much sense!

[@Turglayfopa]

That about sensory issues reminded me how visual noise disturbs me. I've had a whiteboars out with some writing on it to remind me of things to say, but having it out for extended time disrupts my mood so much it becomes useless. In this sense I'm a mininalist. But I have ADHD too so if I remove something essential then it's gone forever, so if I keep a bunch of stuff then I can randomly find things and try a use for them which adds to my life structuring.

[@deadlegacy-1337]

If I overdo something to the point where I get these shaking anxiety overwhelm, I need at least 7 days to feel somewhat okay again. It's so draining and you never know when will you hit the point of overdoing something could be at any point.

[@DanaAndersen]

It sucks that so many people experience this, but I only recently linked it to overwhelm/meltdowns and it’s so validating to know I’m not the only one dealing with it

[@deadlegacy-1337]

@@DanaAndersen The first time experiencing it was pretty traumatizing. I was like wtf is wrong with me now, am I having a seizure or what is going on now. After a long period of tests and talks with my doc, he just said physically everything is fine its just your anxiety and psyche and I have to live with it.

[@HannahHäggAutisticTransWoman]

I am autistic and I get headaches from blinking lights, including bliking lights from police cars. It's really annoying.

[@spudmadethis]

The post enjoyable thing meltdown is so confusing and upsetting 😑 thank you for speaking on this, felt so alone in that.

[@steveneardley7541]

They couldn't turn the lights off. I am a piano tuner, and I was tuning in an old age home , and they couldn't turn off the piped music. So I had to try to focus on single very faint overtones, while this loud, awful music was going on. I needed the money, so I did it, but talk about exhaustion. Another time, I tuned a piano that was part of an art installation. They had underwater whale sounds that they couldn't turn off. The whole thing was so spooky that it was at least interesting.

[@RLWarrior]

What a cool 😎 job! I can imagine how well your hearing is. I also can imagine trying to work under those circumstances. Sounds awful.

[@steveneardley7541]

@@RLWarrior My hearing is supersensitive. I can hear frequencies way above normal human hearing. This is really my only major hypersensitivity. I'm okay with lights, textures. Piano tuning is a good job in that I'm self-employed. When I had jobs in office situations, I always got fired, generally for saying the wrong thing or being too honest. I'm sure a lot of my piano customers think I'm weird and talk way too much, but they can put up with me because I'm only there for a short while and I do a good job.

[@RLWarrior]

@ love it!

[@UnvisibleGirl]

Last two are definitely my least fav, society makes it so hard to exist as a autistic person and communication is way too hard and it's getting harder in this modern age >.

[@nozhki-busha]

The world isnt built for us, but I think you are doing great all things considered. I dont regret being autistic either. Its not all roses and happy rainbows, but we have to do the best we can until society catches up and acceptance and understanding are widespread.

[@RLWarrior]

I agree. I saw a post earlier about the stigmatization of adhd and their posts were “so brave!”. They replied that they are going to keep posting until it’s not considered “brave” to post. We need the same for ASD, dyslexia and everything else.

[@thijsjong]

Yeah the situation that everybody is clued in an knows whats going on. And I have no fucking clue. I feel totally out of the loop. Whats going on is totally obvious to everybody else. So they cant even understand why I dont get it. Did someone say something I did not hear. Did I miss a subtext. Did I miss a nonverbal cue. A glance between 2 people? A sarcastic undertone in someones voice? What is it? The stupid thing is you dont even know what piece of info you missed. And neither do ther people. Very frustrating. You feel isolated, excluded and stupid. Then people say that happens to everybody (sometimes). Too me it happens a lot. In important situations. It alters relationships. And you feel you missed an opertunity to shared moments. There is a group vibe and your not in it.

[@helenaskew4851]

I wish that autism was treated the same as other disabilities. I feel like the world understood what autism is. We are pushed about sometimes

[@benford1726]

People with other disabilities aren't actually treated much better unfortunately

[@MaryKDayPetrano]

The glaring bright lights thing -- I have blue eyes, so can see better in low light and the dark, whereas my husband does not have blue eyes and is blinded by low light and the dark. So, in my areas where I most hang out in the house, I have low light and it dark which is comforting. In his areas, he has every single bright light glaring, so many bright lights it would light up a football stadium. He used to come into my areas and flip on multiple bright light, and that would always cause a sensory overload and meltdown. So, eventually, he got it and left my low and no lights alone. But then, he bought some very bright headlamps to wear on his head, and they were really for the outdoors at night. But, when he stopped messing with my light situation in my areas, he started wearing his bright lazerbeam headlamps in the house and coming into my areas with it ! And, worse, if he goes to talk to me, he turns his head in my direction, forgetting he is wearing that headlamp, and it strikes me right in the eyeballs and is an instant meltdown. So, yeah, it can get really intense, and I think you have to understand, other people apparently really can't see in low light or the dark so have to have lots of bright lights. It's very incompatible with those of us who have blue eyes and see great in low light and the dark, but can't cope with bright lights in a building at all. It'a really a complete impass, and maybe the best thing for them is night-vision so as they can see but not impact Autistics with blue eyes.

[@Surreally_St]

Do blue eyes affect how you react to light?

[@MaryKDayPetrano]

@@Surreally_St Yes ! Very definitely. And there are scientific studies on this !!

[@a_little_demon]

wait people with blue eyes can see better in the dark !? 0_0 ( I have blue eyes )

[@RLWarrior]

Wow! It’s the opposite for me and my wife. I have dark eyes and prefer the dark and she struggles if it’s too dark and she has light eyes and uses a headlamp to see at night!

[@MaryKDayPetrano]

@@RLWarrior Does she have green / hazel eyes ? Or blue eyes ?

[@Autistic_Not_Alien]

Thank you, Dana. You were recommended in a KZbin livestream I've just done. Your candour, eloquence, precisely-chosen swear words, and *entirely relatable experiences* are music to my ears. I'm going to watch another video of yours now...

[@confidentlocal8600]

I remember a few years ago Walmart had half the lights off to save energy during the summer. It drastically improved how it felt to be in there. I remember wondering why they wouldn't just have it that way all the time. Apparently now they have "sensory hours" but it's like you said, an hour or two early Saturday. Of course it all gets cranked up to 11 before Christmas.

[@walpolekidscomics879]

I think for me the thing I least like about it is how it limits jobs for me and even when I do have jobs, most of them are extra stressful than other people find them which feels unfair

[@hollieblack7194]

I work at a nursing home with flourisent lights and sunglasses help me alot

[@xenobladefan7440]

Awkward silences

[@KarlosMorale]

Set dressing book of Mormon? Interesting choice. This must be what you meant when you said you'd joined 'the church'.

[@DanaAndersen]

Oh Lordy no, I’ve been attending a Unitarian service, and have been reading the Book of Mormon out of curiosity and a strong sense of ‘they can’t be serious’ 😅 I just sit on the couch to read and didn’t think when I stuck it back there 😂

[@KarlosMorale]

@DanaAndersen ok I am sorry, that group is just a trigger for me and I felt like I had been tricked Thank you for taking the time to clarify

[@abigailsanderson5943]

Gizmo yay