Let's Bust Some Christian SEX MYTHS!!🔥🙅‍♀️

[@emilycarr2983]

I think when Paul says “the wife/husband does not have authority over her/his own body”, he’s not saying one spouse has been given some kind of special power to use the other spouse’s body. Rather, I think what Paul is getting at here is faithfulness. When you get married your body is no longer your own to do what you want with it. You are called to be faithful to that person you’re married to.

[@TiffanyDawn]

Love that understanding of that passage!! So good!!👏👏

[@alchemyofcolorandstyle]

So very well put!! 💕💕

[@kennethfok]

God created man and woman to be equal but with different roles and responsibilities. In marriage, your body no longer belongs to yourself but to your spouse. It’s not about selfish desires, but about being faithful to your spouse by serving your spouse. Many people think of sex as an obligation or a marital right, but it is actually a gift from God. Why should we deny our spouse of God’s beautiful gift of sex? We should enjoy it just as God intended for bonding with our spouse as well as for the purpose of procreating offsprings.

[@bobjones2460]

@@TiffanyDawn I'd love your advice. I'm a young guy with a heart issue. I'd love a wife but I realize I won't get one because of my heart issue. How do I balance the natural temptation for women knowing that marriage won't happen for me?

[@jessicaharris1608]

​@@bobjones2460 How can you be certain you will never wed in your lifetime? Marriage is crucible, and as prepared as a person thinks they are for being married, its impossible to prepare for everything. I've been married for almost 7 years. There were things I was prepared for and had read up on regarding marriage, but there was plenty that my husband and I have had to stumble through and learn together. I do not regret marrying the man I did, I just know that I'm still learning how to be the best wife to him as he is learning about being the best husband to me. Every marriage is different. So, just as my husband is learning about me, I am learning about him. I also do NOT regret eloping! A wedding/vow renewal someday might be nice but I am glad we didn't spend all that money on a wedding. I'm grateful we did NOT wait until we had money to get married while we were suffering from "burning with passion" as the Apostle Paul calls it. It was vastly more important to honor God than submit to the cultural pressures of "couples must have money before getting married". NO! We feared God more than the culture!

[@hollymatthews9310]

I love your, “May your coffee be stronger than your toddler” sign behind you! 🤣

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

I just let out a big sigh of relief at the first myth. Like, what if you're just really exhausted? Or nervous? But you feel like you HAVE to.

[@TiffanyDawn]

Right?? So glad it brought some relief!!

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

@@TiffanyDawn Thanks

[@Marie_Garwood]

I’ve never heard the myth of being responsible for your husband’s purity verbalized in such a way. But that is seriously so helpful! I think I was still carrying that one around with me: that I need to have enough sex with my future husband to keep him from leaving me and keep his sexual appetite satisfied. Obviously I DO want to satisfy his sexual appetite, but I also need to understand that his mental purity is not my responsibility. I loved hearing how you described it and I completely agree!

[@TiffanyDawn]

Oh my goodness yes!! I totally believed this and didn’t realize how detrimental it was to our sex life at first!!

[@unblindingfaith]

ewww... this is going to be a real theological problem for those out there that obsess on certain scriptures while ignoring the fact that many godly men in the Bible had multiple wives...Moses, Abraham, David...

[@graciec8904]

I cannot tell you how thankful I am for this video!!! Number 5 hit me hard! I was waiting until marriage with my boyfriend but we slipped up. The amount of shame and guilt ate away at me and made me physically sick for weeks. Just because I didn’t see myself as the “perfect Christian girl” anymore because we had sex together. I truly thought our relationship and future marriage would be terrible because we didn’t wait for sex. I had so much anxiety over it that it led to symptoms of depression at times. Thank you, Tiffany and James for you words of redemption!! I am crying! Thank y’all so so much!!!😭❤️🙌🏼

[@kateklute244]

My boyfriend and I have recently been having a lot of conversations specifically about myths 4 and 5.....I am bawling as I write this because of the freedom and relief I feel after hearing you talk about this. I knew God would answer my prayers. Thank you, Tiffany and James, for all of the conversations you put out there.

[@unblindingfaith]

Beware of Christians stuck in the last 23.7% of the Bible that fail to address the very simple list of what God calls sin - Leviticus chapters 18 & 20 and Deuteronomy 22. Notice that adultery is not in the sexual sins list because it is actually more about breaking a covenant relationship. (which is covered in the 10 Commandments.)

[@ShilohShepherdmom]

Your daughters are so lucky to have you as parents. You're so loving and have a great sense of humor, and know how to separate the wheat from the chaff.

[@TiffanyDawn]

Awwww thank you!!❤️❤️

[@deborahbate7064]

You two are so great at bouncing off each other's comments, suggestions and responses. You seem like a great, conversational couple, one of God's lovely matches!

[@bkang]

I’m so glad you made this video!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻 I remember a couple of years back, you talked about something similar (re: the first myth - we don’t have to have sex on our wedding night) and I wrote in the comments that my husband and I waited until day three to go ‘all the way’ …..two guys absolutely eviscerated me for it, telling me that I was a control freak, offering sympathy to my ‘poor husband’, telling me I was cruel and heartless, etc etc!! I actually had the same reaction from a family member when she found out 😳🤭🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m not sure why there is always this enormous pressure around THE WEDDING NIGHT, but I totally agree that we need it to stop!! It’s about the two of you and how you want to go forward. How incredibly awkward would it be to put a timeline onto something which is meant to be spontaneous and beautiful and intimate; I LOVE the analogy James shared of the wedding being like the green light to go in terms of exploring sexual intimacy together 💖💖 If it happens on night one because that’s what both parties want - great! If not - great! It’s really nobodies business but that couple I think 🤷🏻‍♀️💖💖

[@TiffanyDawn]

Yes yes yes!! I love this!! I actually remember your comment about it - I thought it was so cool! But man I’m so sorry about people’s reactions to your guys decision- that’s awful!! It just shows how much our cultures understanding of sex prioritizes gratification for the man above the intimacy of the couple 😢😢

[@bkang]

@@TiffanyDawn Very much so!!! 🤷🏻‍♀️👎🏻💖

[@bkang]

@@TiffanyDawn Also, it wasn’t just me; we were extremely exhausted after a long and fabulous day, and we had to get up very early to drive several hours down to Heathrow to catch our flight to St. Lucia…..I know I have chronic illnesses which mean I need more rest than the average person, but Mr K loves his sleep and he was more than happy to snuggle and snooze all night as well 😂🙈 And how lovely it was to have our first time in gorgeous St. Lucia, with the sound of the ocean outside, all relaxed and having slept off the jet lag (and previous few weeks of mad wedding prep!) for like 16 hours first 😂🎊 Neither of us have any regrets!! It was just important for my lovely guy that I felt ready, and we both knew that we had forever to be intimate in that way. Also there’s more to intimacy than the very final sex act you know?! …..like you, I could talk about this topic forever 😂🙈💖

[@kennethfok]

Seriously, why should people be so interested in whether the couple have sex on the wedding night? Sex is a sacred act for enjoyment in a marriage and I don’t think the couple needs to be accountable towards anyone about whether they did it or not. Couples should communicate with each other and as and when they are ready, they can start enjoying sex. It does not have to be just about the wedding night. Once you have been united as one with your spouse through marriage, you have till eternity with each other to have sex.

[@bkang]

@@kennethfok Exactly this!!!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@KayAlexandria283]

The Holy Spirit very very recently is literally dealing with me about everything you said in point #5 because virginity has been an idol for me for a very long time (like since I was a kid, I am 22 now) and I’m sooo guilty of that- I’m just now finding this out, and it was so bad that I used to judge people and their relationships over it so harshly 😭. But thanking God that He’s gently bringing correction to my thinking. Talk about confirmation!!! Thank you for posting this!

[@TiffanyDawn]

Wow that is so cool!! I love how you’re open to God teaching you these things - that can be hard to do!!❤️❤️

[@meshagoldcity]

I agree with everything you said. I was dreading sex because I literally thought my husband would just be using my body for his pleasure and that I couldn’t turn him down. I thought it’s something only the men would like. Now that I’m married, I’m the one with the higher sex drive…something no one told me could happen. I thought my husband was cheating, addicted to porn, not into me. The years I wasted worrying about all of that and it turns out it is normal for women to like sex and to have higher sex drives. I wish the church hadn’t had such a negative spin on sex in regards to women.

[@Quntah888]

I agree! I wish there was more information about women with higher sex drives than their husband..

[@vivaeuropa]

That's interesting as a guy. I remember being young and hating the idea of sex because it sounded like something that the girl felt was a chore, so it felt like eww, why would I even want to have a relationship where the girl seems to always dread it. Then I learned songs of solomon and seen how the women desired to have sex with her husband and realized no wonder that was such a turn off to high school me because it isn't biblical that type of attitude towards sex. You're supposed to desire your spouse and want to have sex with them. I think a big reason why women don't want to is because many guys don't evoke their beauty and give them the words of affirmation they need and mentally stimulate their minds to prepare them for wanting to get intimate.

[@sackettfamily4685]

I love that you were recommending Sheilas book! Someday y'all need to get together!

[@TiffanyDawn]

Oh my gosh YES!!! I would love that 😍😍

[@isaacandkatherine8068]

The bible says "defraud not.. except it be with consent for a time..." (1 Cor 7:5) I believe that it's imperative that couples have sex regularly and that it should get started when marriage begins.

[@tacticianmagician4716]

Yeah, a wedding day must be such a rollercoaster of emotions, fun and just all kinds of stuff! It makes sense if a couple wanna just call it a night, enjoy even being able to sleep in the same place! XD Then, perhaps even as soon as the morning after, they might be interested in trying some things... But yeah, it makes total sense not to put unnecessary pressure on doing it straight away! :D

[@melissahunt936]

#1 thing we’ve learned in our four months of marriage: sex is so beautifully ordained by God. It’s so holy and special and perfect. Far more than we’d expected!

[@lobsterlogic]

I love this! Thanks for the reminder!

[@josiahkronk6846]

I can't count the number of times I've heard these. But it's refreshing to get a unique perspective!

[@EmFinch]

Hey Tiffany, just wondering if you've ever listened to the Java with Juli podcast? She talks about stuff like this all the time, and I think you'd really be encouraged to hear it if you haven't already! Love your channel. You keep me feeling sane.

[@williamh7517]

"You don't have to have sex on your wedding night" . I think that is a great "revelation", especially as the newly married couple may be quite tired at the end of the big wedding day. You can leave it until the morning or even the next day or two if you decide to. I think also the tendency is to jump too quickly to intercourse, without relaxing and enjoying the journey (including "exploration and discovery" ) toward that. My two cents, with the hindsight of remembering my wedding night many years ago.

[@joshuamoore2341]

Whoow, back at it again with another one. Nice video and all true points.

[@TiffanyDawn]

Thank you!!!!🙌🙌

[@theladyamalthea]

I was taught allllllll of these myths, and fully believed them. It has been VERY damaging.

[@lobsterlogic]

I'm so sorry to hear that.

[@hanscombe72]

Best story ever ever. Such a blessed manifestation of God’s plan for a man and his wife. Beautiful wedding day a service filled with praise and worship. The groom and his groomsman leading us all in such a God breathed version of shout to the Lord. The Bride was late and getting later. We just thought the was presenting herself to her husband. Praise His precious name: Turns out she had a major anxiety attack because the sex in wedding night. A year later they had never even shared a bed and were in counselling. Praise his heavenly name for the blessing of a Christian and godly marriage.

[@annabromley2331]

Wow such a good talk! Thank you for going into these topics

[@saracmr6133]

Baby Girl is so cute! God bless your beautiful family 🥰 really hope that one day I will be as blessed with a family as you are!

[@simonetozaharieva]

Very useful video. Thanks for sharing!

[@showmevids1984]

Wow super nice people I can see the light in both your eyes 💕

[@ingridrobison7586]

You guys are genius and I’m so glad you do what you do!!😘😘😘

[@childofgod4347]

Oh wow, very helpful. Thanks a lot for sharing

[@sophieghaffari9006]

Thank y’all so much! I love these videos!

[@TiffanyDawn]

Yay!! I’m so glad!!

[@meganmcleod6152]

i think i agree with the wedding night and that makes me less nervous for my wedding when i what it to be fun

[@emberpaulovich6602]

That first one!!! We were so tired the night of our wedding, sex would not have been good if we decided to have sex then.

[@katherinezehnder6894]

Do you recommend The Great Sex rescue for unmarried people?

[@rscampbell3]

Beautiful video guys 😍 thank you xx

[@reallovespassion]

Wonderful video as always 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@MalloryNewcomb]

With #1: Praying for a godly gentleman who will have the same perspective! Cuz I imagine a wedding is suuuuper tiring and I gotta get myself relaxed! It would be a lot to go from kissing to all the way in one night so I kind of like that Indian concept. I bet that really builds the anticipation!! Lol and Tiffani kind of cracked me up when she said “sounds very sexy” - you go sis! ❤

[@divinam4478]

I must say the title made me very interested 😩😩😍🔥

[@TiffanyDawn]

😂😂🙌🙌 I’m glad!!

[@BakeChic98]

I love the sign in the back😂

[@TiffanyDawn]

Isn’t it hilarious?? 😂😂 it was a Christmas gift from my sweet sister in law

[@estuchedepeluche2212]

“Myth 3”, I never heard of that, not even as a myth. Our very catholic parents always told us that within marriage both enjoy each other’s company, body, beauty and pleasure. But, oh, well some people have weird beliefs.

[@larafuad4658]

love you guys so so so much

[@Goat.Cheese]

Love your videos! The voice of reason in a sea of nonsense and false doctrine

[@PizzaShoes]

The Bible says sex is between husband and wife don't incourge sex before marriage

[@alchemyofcolorandstyle]

About n.5, it does pair well with the idea that sexual immorality actually stood for avoidance of promiscuity, tying in with the idea that rather than God wanting us to be with The One, he wants us to be with One person at a time 😂 but even the concept of marriage wasn’t as convoluted in the Bible as we make it out to be, and definitely wasn’t about vows. That said, I still would want God to sanctify my union, before it became physical, because “if I can weary your body, that’s how I can get to your soul”. When both partners are searching for God like that, that’s what the sanctity of marriage for me is about.

[@HPTFan]

I learn new things.

[@allangoncalves1453]

Pretty cool video, thank you!!

[@TiffanyDawn]

So glad you enjoyed it!!

[@ZoeNicole-i2i]

Do you think mutual masterbation in a MARRIAGE is okay when scared to get pregnant for health risk? Meaning we do it to one another

[@TiffanyDawn]

Personal opinion? Absolutely I think it’s okay!! But I know each couple has to decide what they feel comfortable with ❤️❤️

[@Quntah888]

I could use a whole video about myth 4 🤔

[@jesusboy1471]

I disagree with myth number 1 The bible says marriage is not a sin but fonication and adultery God will judge

[@ambersummer2685]

Not being hateful here but the Tradwife has left the chat.😂

[@TiffanyDawn]

😂😂

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

Well....sex out of marriage is a sin, and I agree with you guys about redemption, I just hope you're not promoting sleeping around before marriage.

[@im2fst4u55]

They're not. Watch other videos and you'll get their heart. It's good to have someone say there's healing for these things though. I'd personally love to hear more about the benefits of holding out for your spouse. But I also realize there's so many who haven't done that nowadays. And they need some support for a healthy sexual future.

[@alliesteph6274]

I don’t think they are but also some people don’t want to wait until marriage. And that’s okay. People all have different beliefs. I had sex before marriage and I don’t regret it. I have a wonderful marriage and sex life.

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

@@alliesteph6274 I'm not talking about "what anyone thinks" I'm talking about the Bible. It's very clear about what God thinks of sex out of covenant. I value God's thoughts over any human debauchery.

[@wingsoffreedom3589]

@@im2fst4u55 Yes! I love how God can redeem everyone from whatever they come from. Trust me, I won't be out here hating on people because they had a rickety past, that'd be hypocritical. Though I can't stand it when people try to convince me God's fine with it as a lifestyle. That's why I was just asking what Tiffany meant. Thanks for answering for them.

[@alliesteph6274]

@@wingsoffreedom3589 okay but you have to understand not everyone believes as you do and some people don’t even believe in the Bible anyway. Not to mention, the word of the Bible isn’t always good. I would never follow the whole Bible. What’s that verse about child sex slaves? The Bible is not the best material to live your life by.

[@herkyacuff]

It’s hard to imagine this nice couple has sex much-at least not without a long conversation first. Negotiating passion doesn’t sound like true, genuine desire, becoming one flesh, like the Bible says. Not enjoying each other in this special way on a wedding night, of all nights, seems like a poor start to the years ahead.

[@alliesteph6274]

The whole point is that one night doesn’t represent your whole marriage. How stressful that you feel obligated to on one night. There are so many other sexual things you can do before intercourse. Not to mention weddings are exhausting. What if you just wanna sleep and then do it the next day? Whatever works for the couple. I hardly remember my wedding night, it doesn’t come up at all or represent my marriage at all.

[@kennethfok]

The couple has their entire lifetime to enjoy sex. Sex in marriage is not a one night thing. It’s to be enjoyed as often as both spouses agree on throughout their marriage. Sex is an expression of love towards your spouse and even if one has been married for many years and their children have grown, they should still be engaging in sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual intimacy.

[@herkyacuff]

@@kennethfok ​ For sure, we agree, sex has got to be a regular part of a healthy, Christian married relationship. We know all too often, it is not. What a symbolic move wedding night intimacy is, to impress upon this importance. Make time for it, newlyweds, right down to planning the celebration. I can't imagine the bride going without a ring on the wedding day, just because the groom has a lifetime to get that on her finger. Imagine the new husband not getting to unwrap his very special present, his bride, on this very special night! Shouldn't two passionate people, madly in love, be spending most of their wedding day dying to get away, to be... truly together!?! No excuses!

[@Varaidzo1]

Sex isn't just the final act - there is lots that can be done to build up to the moment.

[@kennethfok]

@@herkyacuff What I mean is that they have many years ahead to enjoy sex so it does not need to be something that they must do on the wedding night itself as they will be very tired on that night. Plus it would be good if they can start to just enjoy being naked together first or showering together. That first sexual act may be important to signify the completion of their union to become one but it does not have to be on the wedding night. There is something called honeymoon where they can get away to consummate their marriage but it will be good to start off just by undressing and being naked or showering together. The woman’s body is the gift to the man on the wedding night but unwrapping the gift does not necessarily mean having sex. During the day, the woman has someone to help her with her wedding dress but when they return to bed in the night, the husband can simply unwrap the gift by helping his wife to undress from her wedding gown as it’s not easy to remove the gown on her own.

[@tell-it-like-it-is8305]

Spread the gospel... missionary style. Lol.

[@tonikallioinen6969]

You forgot the biggest one: sex belong only to marriage. You can have sex before marriage and there are nothing wrong with that.

[@alliesteph6274]

I agree. I had sex with my husband before marriage and do not regret it at all

[@ciannacoleman5125]

Keep in mind they are speaking from a biblical viewpoint of waiting till marriage is the right way to go. And they did touch on this a little at point 5

[@tonikallioinen6969]

@@ciannacoleman5125 yes they may have different point of view but it's really harmful view what they have.

[@lslmadi]

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." -1 Corinthians 6:18 KJV

[@lslmadi]

@@alliesteph6274 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." -1 Corinthians 6:18 KJV