How To Find Love & BUILD SEXUAL DESIRE In A Relationship| Matthew Hussey

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Thank you for watching this powerful interview with Matthew Hussey!
Check out the show notes here: www.lewishowes.com/811
Matthew Hussey is a speaker, New York Times Bestselling author, columnist for Cosmopolitan Magazine, and dating expert on ABC’s digital series What To Text Him Back. His corporate clients include Hugo Boss, The Perfume Shop, Virgin Gyms, Procter & Gamble, Bare Escentuals, U.S. legal giant Weil Gotshal & Manges, and global management consultants Accenture. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online.
Matthew says that the “activation energy” for starting relationships is lower than ever. This causes ghosting. People are less invested in relationships. But there are ways you can meet people indirectly. So get ready to learn the three things you need to build a great relationship on Episode 811.
Follow Matthew Hussey here:
www.matthewhussey.com/
/ matthewhussey
/ thematthewhussey
/ gettheguyteam
You can follow Lewis at:
Website: lewishowes.com/
Instagram: / lewishowes
Facebook: / lewishowes
Twitter: / lewishowes
SnapChat: / lewishowes
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Lewis Howes' New Book - The Mask of Masculinity
lewishowes.com/man
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Lewis Howes is a NY Times Bestselling author, entrepreneur, and former professional Arena League football player. He hosts The School of Greatness, a talk show distributed as a podcast. Learn and hear the stories of various successful people around the world, become inspired, motivated and educated with the SCHOOL OF GREATNESS. lewishowes.com/book
You can follow me at:
Website: lewishowes.com/
Facebook: / lewishowes
Twitter: / lewishowes
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Linkedin: / lewishowes

[@TheRoommatesPodcast]

Matthew and Lewis are back at it again with another fabulous episode. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and insight that continues to bless and inspire our generation. Thank you also for leading by example as two men who are not only teaching the world much practical wisdom but also applying to your own personal life and relationships.

[@lewishowes]

You are very welcome!

[@alicedreams9833]

@@lewishowes ❤❤❤

[@mariaisabelcarreon6763]

Mashallah

[@joannaskwirska5760]

Trash cans... such the life truth. This is what I appreciate in relationship the most: feeling safe and calm inside of me along everyday routine... don't need "heart fireworks" ... all the time...it could be even exosted 🙂

[@ghellinger1583]

P

[@MsLaura4000]

Touch your inner space, which is nothingness manifestation.guide as silent and empty as the sky; it is your inner sky. Once you settle down in your inner sky, you have come home, and a great maturity arises in your actions, in your behavior. Then whatever you do has grace in it. Then whatever you do is a poetry in itself. You live poetry; your walking becomes dancing, your silence becomes music

[@BreenyLee]

Two men having a REAL VULNERABLE conversation, now this is true Masculinity! Absolutely beautiful! I’ve been watching Matthew since the beginning and it’s amazing to see where he’s at now with it, another great interview Lewis Howes ♥️

[@MaryFrances72]

I SO agree!! On all fronts, and Lewis having the ability to let him shine too. I got SO much from this.

[@brittany1484]

yes, it's very raw. love that

[@delightrie]

said no man ever

[@jayc342009]

You're a woman hahahaha, you don't know what true masculinity is.

[@brittany1484]

@@jayc342009 And you're man who has no idea what women are attracted to

[@RICHARDGRANNON]

13:22 “most people who believe they are evolved enough for a relationship are not.” Fantastic quote. And it hurt my feelings 😆

[@akhimieninnocent813]

Dr frank love spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a seoond chance. He helped me restore back my broken reoken relationshipof 5 years my bringing back my ex Read more

[@SSS-dy9bm]

L🤣L!! You're good in that department kind sir. 😍

[@chesterwilson7858]

😂😂

[@TheGayStoic]

“You made me feel safe, seen, and you made me wanna be a better person.” Thanks Lewis and Matthew. I shall treasure those words for a long time.

[@ribidimi]

♡

[@spicymangolol]

Thanks for highlighting it I noted it in my bullet journal!

[@deprofundis3293]

Foundations for a commitment "castle": 1) show up in ways they need, not just how you're comfortable showing up. 2) work on yourself (hobbies, passions, outlets, friends...but also, BE MINDFUL of the difference between being vulnerable and expecting them to constantly put a bandaid on or reassure you. Can't be like that all the time - gotta work on it yourself.) 3) Seeing each other as a teammate, not someone to fulfill your needs (or to compete with) and making sure you're supporting them, being a gardener, not just the flower. (Expect to switch those roles as needed but be ready to support them in their limelight.) Amazing video, guys, with so many thoughtful and insightful nuggets!

[@katiacomk]

deprofundis thank you for the summary

[@deprofundis3293]

@@katiacomk you're welcome!

[@Sashas-mom]

@deprofundis So well said (summarized) thank you!

[@vinnavuong20]

Thanks for the summary saves me time.

[@serpentines6356]

Yeah, pretty good summary.

[@yensend]

"you can be in love and unhappy!" -- We DO need to start worrying more about happiness! I love Mathew!

[@soonsims]

I think the fact that everyone is so worried about being happy is the reason why people find it harder to settle down these days. There's always something(one) around the corner who's going to make you happier, always. The grass is always greener on the other side. I think exactly the opposite - that people should be less selfish and stop thinking about short term pleasures/rewards/happiness and start sacrificing their own happiness for more meaningful connections.

[@soonsims]

But then Matthew would be out of business so of course he's not gonna say that hehe.

[@OzmaOfOzz]

Happiness comes from within. Fall in love with yourself first and be happy with yourself, that relationship never fails. ❤

[@cjennings6179]

Happiness is moments. Only feelings EMOTIONS. Fleeting. Ever changing highs. Chemical highs. Our bodies are WONDERFULLY DESIGNED. TAKES WORK to feel it. Not lasting or permanent. Always changing LEVELS. UP!!😃 & gradually goes down. Fluctuations in our human bodies. Human feeling minds. Amygdala organ. Hipocampus feels high happiness comes from stomache & human SKIN : OUR NERVOUS SYSTEM!!! Marvelous design. HAPPINESS EXPERIENCES through Friendship Neighbor SIDE HUGS. SHAKING HANDS. CONVEYING GOOD THOUGHTS to each other to BUILDING EACH OTHER UP!!😃 HAPPINESS is WORK ENJOYABLE. ENJOYABLE. THINK ENJOYABLE LIGHT HEARTED TALK WORK. 🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑💡👍👍👍👍

[@jillianhayes7702]

Yes! My ex's son said if u leave my dad then u don't love him! Just bc i decided to not be disrespected don't meen i don't love the guy! I love the guy w all my heart but we butheads! Can't get along anymore bc i decided i won't be disrespected and moved out. We still dated and he said it was all my fault. Ugh! I can't get anywhere w him. He WONT see my side!

[@SherriLillian]

Lewis, you’re a great interviewer. I love how you allow your guests to talk without interrupting them. You listen intently with respect. This in turn makes your guests comfortable and more open. This openness makes a great interview therefore adding value to the lives of your viewers. You truly have a gift. I’ve seen a number of very famous people with large platforms who do not have what you have. Thank you for sharing and being true to who you are.

[@lewishowes]

Thanks so much for watching, Sherri!

[@Sunflower-og1lm]

And he is so humble!!!

[@Temwachii]

Literally why I watch him! He listens without interrupting his guests. Such a talented interviewer.

[@leeforde6868]

I LOVE how raw Matthew is getting lately. Wonderful interview🙏🏽

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you, Lee!

[@clarajenniferclarajennifer9473]

"Relationship is a castle with secret passages only you know about, where a wall gets knocked down and you build it back up again" ❤❤❤

[@lucianobenites4728]

Did you just say raw?

[@evagross3484]

Thank you Lewis! You have inspired me so much. Blessings

[@selynasteriska]

This is becoming my favourite bromance!

[@stephanieleblond3495]

me too

[@vixenvalenzuela]

Lol same

[@braunygirl]

"Relationship is a castle with secret passages only you know about, where a wall gets knocked down and you build it back up again" ❤❤❤

[@orkzin]

What?

[@legdaytacos62]

I lI’ve the secret passages part

[@therealashleycrouch]

THANK YOU for leaving in the part where Matthew lost his train of thought - this was such a breath of fresh air. Loved the humanity. Loved the uncertainty. Loved the realness. He was a role model of bravery in showing up in imperfection. Grateful for both of you holding space for this conversation.

[@dsg1992]

Timestamp please?

[@alexa81387]

Dhanush Sharma 19:30

[@dsg1992]

@@alexa81387 Thank you!

[@silver_0447]

I really valued that bit aswell ! Like it was just real talk

[@angie3467]

I agree! How raw and real and touching.

[@KarenPchepiorka]

I absolutely adore Matthew😍, everything about him I find is "my dream men"! Started listening to him awhile ago, realized Im still dealing with unavailable emotional man 🙄 Im very authentic and me 😁, unfortunately atrack these "kind" uffff..Working progress hopefully getting there🥰 Huge hug from a big fan❣️

[@FrankJames]

big fan of Matthew's, so excited to watch this interview. thanks, Lewis!

[@user-zi6yx7vk1s]

Frank James 😯😯😯

[@ladym6569]

Frank James, what a nice surprise to see your comment here. I enjoy your videos and also Matthew's. So glad we have that in common 😊

[@Fa6oomka94]

Hi there 😻

[@1a2n3i4a]

@Debora Egha Skinnna Glory or is he ENFJ? Not sure. Someone else has an opinion?

[@farahildasaputri]

Ohh hi! I'm surprised to see FJ's comment in here 😍❤❤❤

[@TheZGALa]

"Relationships are about the trash cans, man." I love it. Much love to both of you. I appreciate conversations like this very much.

[@lewishowes]

Grateful for you, Gabrielle!

[@OzmaOfOzz]

Not to mention it s so amazing to see two beautiful, attractive men talking and being vulnerable.

[@mynkmoonsun8678]

What does this mean more specifically? It's about how you deal with problems?

[@wind10miko]

@@mynkmoonsun8678 you use garbage cans every day, not the $500 outfit. Dont base relationship only on the big occasions that made you happy (example vacation - it's SUPPOSED to be good), but the every day as well

[@anthien6451]

Mynk Moonsun it means what is your relationship like when no one’s watching. What are the interactions when there’s no special occasions to dress up for, to be extra romantic for. For example, when you come home after a long day at work and your partner prepared a nice hot bath for you, just because he/she knows that’s what you like. Or when he/she spends extra time to fix the shirt that you really like but got ripped in the corner, or when they remember to leave the parsley out of the soup because they know you don’t like it....All without being asked. Small things like that but it requires attention to details and dedication towards the partner to even think of and remember these details are the core of the relationship

[@mszjoness]

"You can be in love AND be unhappy" **BRAIN EXPLOSION* I LOVE YOU MATTHEW HUSSEY!

[@kymchu]

Awww Matty… I cried around 1:16:00 mins I felt moved by my partner's words and actions he keeps by and always considerate, looks after me well, protective and evolving himself in a balanced way. I am so grateful for him in my life. Deep loving tears as this is a contrast from my past relationships or lack of. Positive healing and peace inside. Love Ya.

[@evgeniyabessolitsyna9474]

I just love how Lewis takes notes, I find it very sweet and moving that he never turns down an opportunity for self growth. Love you both, Matthew comes across as a very smart and spiritual guy.

[@marnieb4567]

Mathew; this is the best interview and discussion I have seen you have. Wise beyond your years!

[@CrayonTheologian]

I love the pause and then the CHOICE to be vulnerabe on Matthew's part made me tear up with happiness. Seeing that choice is beautiful and to be respected no matter who you are.

[@colemacedo-phillips5768]

I really had a good laugh when you said, in a relationship our significant other could care less what we are in our job. Sometimes you have to be the gardener! How true! Thanks Matt!

[@hollyw6478]

I must say that the realism of this interview is spectacular. And the depth of what is real in relationships that you both talk about is true. I know this from watching a successful relationship over time (my folks were together 50+ years) They showed exactly these qualities until they passed away. It was the determination to stay in love, to create love, and to remind themselves of the best in each other that kept them together. Thank you for the vulnerability to show what is real.

[@deprofundis3293]

This "remind themselves of the best in each other" part is something I hadn't considered explicitly. Thank you!

[@ofirayemini6799]

This conversation is lovely and genuine make u believe gives u hope in your life . I loved listen to u. U r beautiful.

[@iamceceanderson]

I decided to listen to this podcast simply because Lewis conducts great interviews. I am so glad that I engaged with an open mind because Matthew dropped soo many gems, which highlighted where I’ve gone wrong in relationships and how I can improve, but he also articulated beautifully what I want out of my future relationship. Clarity is an amazing experience. Brilliant interview and I’ll be listening again! Keep up the great work Lewis and Matthew.

[@deb2319]

GREAT POINT ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA- ITS TOXIC FOR MODERN DAY LOVE:)

[@sage8889]

Thanks for not editing! The Realness was Absolutely Awesome & Thought Provoking! Excellent exchange....🎓🎓🎊

[@maritupits3658]

That is one of my favorite videos from you, Matthew Hussey! There’s something raw and vulnerable about you in here. As you said - give people something real, a real story and that really moves people ❤️ Wish you all the strength and love, it’s ok to fall and get hurt sometimes. Thank you for showing us that part of yourself!

[@ssmith5127]

I love the phrase: 'This is not going to serve you.' I'm not sure where I first heard or read it but I use it so often. And it conveys such a deep sense of care as opposed to judgement or condemnation. It is a gentle reminder of our desired goal. A light for our path when we are in the fog of emotion or expectation.

[@nanabucaros3430]

Wow the castle metaphor hit me hard, I will remember it everytime I see a nice piece of land 🙆🏽‍♀️

[@MagdalenaiLuj]

I enjoyed the entire interview. Two successful, masculine men having a deep and vulnerable conversation. Now that's a real turn on. I ESPECIALLY loved the part where Matthew suggests not to be edited for loosing his train of thought. So inspiring! So brave! So one of a kind...Thank you Matthew for paving the way for the celebrities and couches of the future! :-)

[@TheZGALa]

I wish more humans would work on being good, unconditionally self loving single individuals instead of being so obsessed with partnerships. We are more complex than one relationship. I appreciate your insights, and also, gosh, maybe just work on being happy and healthy and whole first, THEN relationships happen naturally.

[@patriciaque197]

Amen!

[@rlthompson713]

This man makes so much sense ..i stumbled on to this video on autoplay....and im subscribing...off of this 1 vid

[@good1125]

Lewis I love how humble you are! I love the trash can analogy, quickly ended a relationship recently for unattended trash cans.

[@amyzzz9681]

Love is a verb / Love is a doing word (Massive Attack)

[@santiagoscho5693]

"we should educate our partner about how we love or should be loved not from an arrogant way, but from a loving place" - matthew hussey

[@ZGwoo888]

Always love when you bring Matthew. He drops a lot of wisdom, really love the castle analogy and playing the tambourine! All about teamwork 💪🏽

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you!

[@amritawhitman8112]

I can't begin to describe how much it cheered me up to hear that at age 13(!) Matthew noticed that we design the trash cans for each land AND, that we inspired him to create immersive experiences for his seminars!! You see I've worked for Walt Disney Imagineering for 25 years and I've been furloughed due to COVID19. It's a terribly depressing and frightening time for me and my friends and co-workers. We have no idea if or when we'll be called back to work and put back on the payroll. The stress is terrible. This was the last thing I expected to hear tonight but I needed to hear it. I'm new to this channel and just came across a couple of Matthew's videos yesterday and then this video was suggested tonight. I haven't been in a relationship in many years and the deck appears to be stacked against me, but I found a lot of valuable information during this interview so anything is possible! Thank you!

[@dolsiemercado3140]

Basically, your potential partner might click/have charisma/chemistry but the compatibility can change within the relationship anytime. Then committing, admiring, communication is also important got it.

[@Schokotierkoepfer]

I never thought I would start crying because somebody talked about trashcans the way Matthew does. I want these trashcans

[@queenshay]

Profound moment when he said that you can be in love and be unhappy... DAMN!

[@EarlyBirdCraft]

It’s funny cos I’ve used so many dating apps and talked to many guys, went on a few dates. But I didn’t meet my husband online. I met him at the bank casually standing in the long line. We have a beautiful son and trying to have another baby (possibly girl). I’m sure dating apps work for some, but not for me

[@serpentines6356]

@Martina Well, I grew up in the time of no home computers. Went all over the place, did all kinds of things, travelled, never met the right person. Some people have to try extra hard to find the right match. It doesn't 'just happen' for everyone. I suggest going both routes. Online, and go where a lot of available men might be. Maybe volunteer at conferences, or whatever.

[@serpentines6356]

Lucky you! Have fun!

[@LonjeMarie7]

On dating apps I’m honestly to the point where I’m just having fun, with LOW Expectations of anything meaningful. I really want to meet my next husband walking down the street at the bank ,the grocery store ,the gas station ,organic and natural ,I’m just literally having fun and exercising and practicing my dating and interview skills.

[@Lisa.M.J]

What a vulnerable & layered conversation. 🙌💯 That Love letter 💌 question....wow.

[@lewishowes]

Grateful for you, Lisa!

[@Lisa.M.J]

❤️

[@franh8043]

Thank you for being genuine, Matt. I was wondering why your blank moments were not edited, but i learned why at the end. Very inspiring.

[@garyhartwelldinmore]

"It's one where 1+1=3." Ended with arguably the best quote of the entire podcast. Although there were a lot of great tidbits in the middle. Good stuff fellas!

[@annachen604]

3 things to say (to Matthew) before time (a life) runs out ;) 1. I love your smile. Even though we may never meet in person, your smiles give great warmth to me, reminding me that there is someone out there in the world that cares. 2. I love your confidence. I still struggle calling myself a coach, but seeing your progress in the past few years really set an example for me that "this is possible!" 3. Thank you for being vulnerable, because, you gave me a chance to be vulnerable too. Many, many love from West Coast.

[@akumacode]

Thank you Lewis and Matthew for this video. It was the realest conversation about relationships I've seen on youtube. It was like the type of conversation I would have with my friends on the couch I think Matthew might be on to something with the 4 steps: Admiration, Chemistry, Commitment, and Compatibility. My previous relationship was so amazing I couldn't imagine us breaking up, but for some reason things just weren't working after 3 years. Now something's clicked. Admiration? yup. Chemistry? yup. Commitment? yup. Compatibility? :(

[@melissabelow5384]

A23

[@meshisha77]

Yes! See me- That gives me air. Safety- that gives me wings. Inspire me...that paints an endless rainbow of possibilities! ❤️❤️ I loved this. Both of ur pauses. Deep breaths...and vulnerability was a nice step away from the daily coaching we’ve been seeing from everyone. because real life... real relationships aren’t perfectly rehearsed speeches but rather at times hiccuped and stuttered speeches or like Matthew- a lost train of thought. That was great!!! Thank u both 🙏🏼

[@sjb3028]

Damn! ...that castle analogy was spot on and eye opening. I have been building the castle on my own as he sat back and criticized my every move . Here I am 10 years later and he packed and walked out 24 days ago because I have been working so hard for so long to build the foundation then the structure and finally the roof to only realize that he was no where to be found by my side thru thick or thin, good times or bad, thru sickness or health.....so when I did get sick from pulling all the weight ...and after burying my Father and getting a life altering disease that made it impossible for me to carry that weight....he left. I'm angry at myself . I'm a strong woman tho and I will endure the disappointment and I have to remind myself where there are life's rejections are God's protection. I will re read this post years from now and realize it was the best thing to happen for me. Sigh....right now, I just take one day at a time. Thank you for the eye opening insight. I got this.

[@AlissaL2439]

"Having a really healthy combination, and questioning oneself"!!!!!!! YES! Love that!💖 Finding that balance in a relationship - compassion, empathy, connection, understanding, growing together!🥰🎉🎊💃 my heart is honestly singing from all of this! Just found this gem of a conversation, and I feel blessed! This is the type of "food" that feels so fulfilling and healthy and brings feeling of true joy! Thank you Lewis and Matthew!🙏💖🥰

[@gratitude5740]

This is what you have told me today at our meeting in Toronto “ love myths” don’t be nice , be kind to yourself . That touched me deeply.

[@NtathuAllen]

"The castle is where it's at" Loving this conversation

[@Jannirae]

I loved this - it kept reminding me that the only relationship any of us are ever having is the relationship we are having is the one we have with our self. From that place - we either project or relate to others from that center. Every discovery of ourselves is worth every piece of pain that the “mirror” of another brings us. Don’t break the mirror - just be grateful when the mirror reveals the truth - you just have to be looking for the reflection in the mirror of you that the relationship brought you🙏

[@annejoldersma8494]

This was so kind and wise and vulnerable and HUMAN. Thank you to you both!

[@Karen-ff4os]

Lovely, soulful interview...Matthew and Lewis you are two beautiful souls! Still looking to build that castle with someone. My ah-ha moment was when Matthew used the illustration of finding "a great piece of land" (connection/potential with a man) and the importance of both people "building the castle" (the actual relationship) on it. Thank you!

[@ChayaMChayo]

Love this message! I want to apply the importance of the trash cans to my business as well as my relationship

[@enrgist]

I have recently been introduced to Matthew Hussey. Listening and just in awe on the conversation on how we show/express love towards the needs of our partners; priceless. "Show up in ways they need." Matthew you are a true gem. There's hope in way of insight, guidance, and practicality. Pure gold.

[@annaschulte7902]

Love the castle analogy. It will help me so much moving forward with my dating journey.

[@AT-qq9fe]

Matt has evolved mentally since the last interview. He was and back then an impressive, intelligent man, but here he seems more balanced and mature in the things he talks about

[@lisacarr5889]

Matthew, you are a wonderful old soul 🤗

[@radahhhh]

Best Matthew's conversation ever. I really like this raw and heart-felt interview more than any of his previous more energetic and eloquent speeches

[@jennymarchal]

Great interview! I feel when Matthew uses the word 'instinct' he's really referring to our egos. Gut instinct is something we should all be more in tune with and usually ends up being right. It's the ego mind that causes us to react in certain ways that most of the time can be detrimental to us and our relationships :)

[@goddess_watching]

Lewis, I watch your episodes getting so much value out of it: life advice, maximizing my listening skills watching you being a great listener, learning how to ask awesome follow-up questions seeing you do the same and humility. I observed that whoever you speak to you always make them feel that you're on one level and are humble enough to continue learning. Also, I'm a big Matthew fan!

[@anindita2816]

The stuff Matthew says at 1:21:00 is pure gold. We need more of that in this day and age!

[@Customer_Support_]

Awesome cant wait to hear this right through on the way home. I loved the last show and have followed Mathew since. So much truth. Love your Channel & book Lewis

[@AlchemicalAlchemy]

I so relate to that I am in love with a person that does not bring me joy. He misses the trashcans every day.

[@NaturalzMuah]

😢 at 15:22 was spot on. I’ve lived it. The key I believe is to love oneself more

[@rinaflows]

Lewis, thank you so much for bringing in Matthew. That was such a genuine interview. You two are just great!! And for Matthew, there's so much power in showing vulnerability and yes not portraying perfect all the time is nothing but authentic and inspiring. You're my favorite and only Life and Relationships Coach 💜

[@tnyqueen]

Very powerful, touching and helpful. Fantastic questions as well! Truly appreciate the incredible people I've learned about on this channel!

[@joey3rony]

You both are amazing examples! On how to talk and to really listen, on being vulnerable, real, observing, loving and self respecting! And this for all genders! Thanks, guys!!

[@naturalmystique3830]

Great castle analogy: "Too many people who value the connection instead of the castle!" Love it! I always use a house, but a castle is good 😄

[@victorialouise613]

Those 3 last things in that love letter brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing this and thank you Lewis for knowing how to bring the deep gold out of your guests.

[@GalacticWoman]

Brings a completely new meaning to the "Bob the Builder" ;)

[@carinaoliveira5850]

If more men and women had these types of REAL conversations, based on vulnerability and selflessness in relationships, I believe we would live in a world with less sexism, gender neutrality and the utmost respect for each other. It just might lessen the catty and egotistical response we often run to.

[@jayc342009]

that will never happen though

[@orkzin]

@@jayc342009 Because women communicate indirectly

[@orkzin]

@Maleficent Men are direct communicators

[@nofybn7794]

@@orkzin FALSE.

[@carinaoliveira5850]

I don’t know about other women out there, but I’ve been very direct with my wants from men. Seems to be working so far. If a women or a man are passive aggressive, then nothing progresses. 🤔

[@KKruse987]

I've followed Matthew for a little while now, and find a lot of his talks/interviews to be helpful or insightful, but this one, in particular, I found to be incredibly moving. In part because of the raw vulnerability (good call to leave in the real human moments of distraction/lost thought), but perhaps more so for having recently experienced and realized much of this myself. You can be in love and unhappy...staying in a relationship far longer than I ever should have because we were two independently successful people who loved each other, admired one another and pushed each other to grow...on the outside it looked like it should have worked. Realizing and admitting that I was holding onto a future that I envisioned with this person, the life that I hoped we would have once all of these "obstacles" were out of the way, rather than what actually was...admitting that, if that future never came and what we had in the present was how it was forever, I would be miserable and unfulfilled, and finding the courage to walk away was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I kept holding on to all of our "Space Mountains," dreaming of all the future trips to Disney Land, and ignoring the state of the trash cans. Thank you both so much for sharing this with the world.

[@krisztinakobanyai]

Feeling safe, seen and being inspired to be better every day is everything...this interview brought tears to my eyes. I really hope there are men out there feeling the same way or at least acceptive to talk about these things and willing to improve as much as I am. I'm so ready to build the castle with that amazing view. 🙏😊✨

[@nicolette3436]

I would to love to see Gabor Mate on the show Lewis!

[@jrbrorodjrrod28]

Lewis is an awesome conversationalist host. More genuine relationship-building topic vids. Thanks Lewis for acknowledging others. Authentically brilliant! Much love!

[@lewishowes]

You are very welcome!

[@mcook6005]

Really nice to hear Matthew make connections with the brain, mindful communication, vulnerability, and emotional intelligence. I would love to see him do more of this.

[@frances7456]

Matthew, I love how vulnerable and open you were with Lewis' 3 questions at the end. Wow. What an incredible partner you'd make some day 💕 thanks for your insights xx

[@francesdumaliang6132]

I so love how he is passionate and articulate about romantic love!...such a breath of fresh air!😃👍

[@esjaymusings]

This was so refreshing. Thank you. Both of you.

[@bodymindsoul60]

Million thanks for this!!! So happy to see someone being REAL!

[@kellihullaby775]

26:59-28:54 So powerful about how instincts are not always the best thing to rely on. We have to think as well and make the most practical (and do-able) decision.

[@gracelovvheals2169]

What a profound discussion. Thank you Lewis for posting this & thank you Matthew for such amazing insight! God bless both of you 🙂

[@juliesmith8593]

Beautiful Matthew, so young, but so wise.

[@juniperstardust5549]

It's beautiful to see many of us trying, learning to be better at relationships, we've discovered that only growth will decrease the pain and the suffering we've experienced in our romantic live. Thanks for sharing this knowledge and growing and learning and helping us truly appreciate it ❤️❤️❤️

[@lewishowes]

👍

[@wcgirl]

This is a new era.We need to break the bonds of our programming about relationships and create new relationship paradigms based on what evolving beings need .

[@OS-kw8bh]

Thank you both! One of the most inspiring, interesting conversations I ‘ve heard. I feel so blessed being able to enjoy this... Thank you!!!

[@marina1rosanu]

Please continue doing this kind of videos, discussions between the two of you. You have no idea how much impact it has, how much opens the mind and heals the soul! Very inspiring, thank you so so much, much gratitude and appreciation!

[@sakinamaryamkarim3567]

My family has been through so much in the last 13 to 16 years that I'm 27 physically, feeling 50 mentally. And I've seen, heard and lived through the ups and downs of my parents relationship. They been married almost 30 years and from my observation aren't Really happy. And they had 9 children together! They don't seem to Like each other Wholly. Both have selfish tendencies that they don't recognize. I have learned a lot through their relationship. I Want To Always LIKE The One I'm With. And I Want Him To Always LIKE Me. Like Each Other Enough To Take A Moment Of Silence To Acknowledge & Listen To What The Other Does That Doesn't Sit Right With The Receiver. And We Collectively Acknowledge That Life Will Put Us Through Harsh Trials, Keep Faith In God's Wisdom, Always Have The Desire To Understand Each Other And Be HELP MATES In This Life One Day I'll Have That! IF GOD WILLS!

[@SillyKoala]

Thank you for not editing this interview. Great job!

[@thecloud9show]

The research shows those that meet off line have more success with long term relationships. Vs. The “grass is greener syndrome” on line causes especially if you photograph well. Good stuff Lewis and Matthew. Ricky

[@christinabeck9316]

I bet that’s right, but I have so few opportunities to meet single men in my daily life.

[@boaxiong9162]

Love Matthew Hussey and this episode!

[@Alpaca.....]

15 minutes in is a total realisation a true sharing - my core needs were not met and my entire future was a vision that was not happening both ways. My rescue was my children’s protection xx

[@msd6069]

Thank you for putting these into words! Efforts - Attraction - Lasting Love

[@gitanjalinandan]

Great relationships will change the world, or at least the world around us, so thanks very much guys for your constant exploration and conversation. None of us know all the answers and I appreciate your focus on humility. You both seem excited, and I really also like the "height" of your aspirations. I support you both in getting there and sharing it with the rest of us. Go for gold! In fact, go for element 115!

[@piresccs]

When Matthew was telling his 3 love letter sentences, this just hit so close to home. I saw my relationship with my boyfriend in these words. We have such a beautiful relationship and we will soon be in a long distance relationship. Your episode really made me think of what we can do and talk before the move in order to think how we will continue to be great together. Thank you Matthew for going for the podcast and Thank you Lewis for hosting him :)

[@seleenatanzer6131]

I shared your video on facebook. My friends are always asking me for advice and I want them to know they deserve a man they can be happy with not just to settle because they are afraid to be alone. This video made me realize we miss a memory from a past partner but that doesn't mean we still don't care about them it's just we had a great memory that will always be in our minds and heart. We need love on both parts to build our castle together. No relationship is perfect but we have to work at it with communication. Since seeing these videos I have really opened up my eyes to see I felt this advice but I didn't know how to explain it the way you do to make sence of it. I write in a book for myself. I get alot of inspiration from all of it to write even more. Thanks so much.

[@tinacohen7034]

Matthew is being vulnerable. God bless you for telling the real stories.

[@paulinasurazynska8516]

Thank you so much for this video! your wisdom, honesty, kindness - you both break so many walls of stiff concept one might have about life, love, itself... the way you do it.. with such a gentle power, intelligence, and compassion... it's amazing - you give people so much wisdom, freedom, and love! Thank you for that! ps: I'm attending Mattew's event in London next week, so excited, can't wait!!

[@matthewbiancamano9306]

the part about the plot of land is one of the saddest truths i've ever heard - you really need two builders