Therapist REVEALS How To LET GO, MOVE ON & HEAL From A Toxic Relationship! | Lori Gottlieb

[@jyamaloha2322]

Would love to see the therapist credited and featured in the description- she gave tremendous value.

[@febutterfly8021]

This is amazing advice. However, when you’re dealing with a narcissist, it is important to realize that sometimes no amount of therapy is going to work. So do the work on yourself and get free.

[@lydiafraticelli4088]

I. BEG MOST ..MEN please tELL ME WHats going on. 🙏 I ask about the details.my husband refuses to be honest.?

[@dianabrown833]

Narcissists and psychopaths, oh how I learned the hard way. Two years of working closely with one and dating. Life was wonderful, but then married and the control and abuse started. The physical abuse started after I was isolated in a different state. Almost lost my life. But I survived to be a much better person. This video is amazing. Sometimes it's just the process you have to endure.

[@febutterfly8021]

@@dianabrown833 I pray you’ve found your way out and you’re whole and healthy now. ❤️

[@liz.8341]

So true.

[@ljcook8386]

She is one counselor I could feel safe talking too and listening too for she has a heart of understanding and love to actually see more than many and help rather than hurt. Thank you for staying true to yourself Lewis and her for sharing her knowledge and wisdom with us all. People are far to easily to judge situations without truly knowing, its concerning.

[@crankiemanx8423]

Sometimes forgiving feels like you are accepting their bad behaviour & that what they did is ok.veey difficult to forgive when an X husband behaves so badly that it deeply effects your child & effects their growth & development.

[@leeann5442]

Exactly ... its not a forgiveness issue, its a character issue

[@gigicooper1759]

I can't thank you enough! I will never be able to forgive and, I agree, why do I have to give up so much "emotional realestate" in order to move on with my life, which I have done. I don't get up everyday thinking about them and I will never let them back into my life. This formula for "forgiveness" is like being held hostage...its ridiculous.

[@ahoagland11]

Forgiveness isn't about them. It's about letting the pain go so that it ceases to effect the survivor.

[@tigerbunny6778]

Oh, 100%! Forgive yourself! Not them!

[@OneWhoKnowz]

Everything she is speaking is speaking to my life. This convo is so impactful! Thank you

[@lukepatch5160]

Yep I’m a Virgo male she’s a fire so sign.. I did everything for her, cooked for her, brought her drinks etc, drive an hour to see her every time.. she treated me terribly and ghosted me when I stood up for myself

[@annagolden]

I love your show where there's the sharing of medicinal pearls, in an active listening dynamic between you and your guests: authentic wisdom shared that's authentically recognized. So grateful to be able to have access. You interview brilliant guests who bring so much helpful information. And you are a really great interviewer/host: thoughtful, calm, wise yourself, and you ask excellent question.

[@lewishowes]

Thank you so much! Your comment made my day 😊

[@davidisrael9412]

great interview? some good points Yet, a higher truth=we are accepted in the beloved/Jesus, without that it is all about what another person thinks of me and what I think of myself. That is a war you will lose without amazing grace and Jesus unconditional love forgiveness and grace.

[@annagolden]

@@davidisrael9412 When celebrating Jesus in my household and in the varied Christian sects of my greater family the concept of war and this level of judgement doesn't come up. Jesus, is a beloved figure whose kindness, generosity of love and ultimate sacrifice is known and not seen as divisive or threatening. Jesus is a uniter and is in our hearts always as a reminder to come together. Not saying we don't butt heads on other issues. We are humans after all, who are not free of sins, and who knows better than God, and Jesus, who for us made the ultimate sacrifice .

[@davidisrael9412]

@@annagolden we do not all have the love of Jesus in us, I am born a Jew and taught to reject Him and i finally asked for forgiveness and His friendship, amen. Yes, He is the ultimate sacrifice and wishes us to have a relationship! with Him. He does not enter our heart until we invite Him in. Till then we have a different god and need prayer and salvation. thanks again

[@annagolden]

@@davidisrael9412 My wish for you is that you not only feel the love of welcoming Jesus in to your heart but that you also emulate, when and where you can, the loving, kind, decent nature that Christ is an example of. It's hard being human with all the trials that come with it, and being without sin is a tall order. To have a reminder of love, kindness, and decency, that lives within us, is such a beautiful thing. This world is a complicated place with so much suffering and beauty. Emulating Christ is a beautiful offering to bring to life on this earthly plane. And don't forget joy and laughter, also very good medicine to feel and bring forth.

[@brandonmathueofficial]

Good point. So you can decide not yo forgive but choose to let go to move on after the pain is processed

[@hankhill3417]

Sometimes the person you would take a bullet for is the one behind the trigger.

[@LolaAileenVanslette]

Do you mind if I steal that line? It's so true!

[@haroldhunter4290]

I have been in that situation and it hurts

[@layde1]

😳

[@bellabriggs1393]

All the time

[@sgm6603]

That us SO true. That's me now!

[@marioleclerc4566]

When a men open up and his so-called lady not feeling comfortable with this sadly he got the wrong lady for him. As matter of fact if a men can do it - it's the perfect test to see if that lady is embracing him fully or not. Thank you Lewis for this conversation!

[@chacha3209]

Hi Lewis! I believe EVERYONE has at least 1 if these issues! Also, I think EVERYONE can learn MUCH from listening to THIS interview! Awesome, help and suggestions are given here! She's a GREAT Therapist! I wish everyone would reach out for help during their life! It could HELP our WORLD 🌎!❤️

[@justparadiso]

Successful people don't become that way overnight. What most people see at a glance-wealth, a great career, purpose is the result of hard work and hustle over time. I pray that anyone who reads this will be successful in life..

[@Marynett_2024]

Yes, I agree with her. I will not dwell and take up anymore of my emotional real estate. As overwhelming as is already- there’s no room for it. If forgiving lightens up your heart- fine do it. But it’s if he’s no longer relevant, water under the bridge- what is the point. And there’s nothing wrong with being careful with drinking spiked koolade lol❤ thank you

[@Marynett_2024]

I meant I said bye to him and that was it

[@ADUAquascaping]

Forgiveness is letting go of resentment and grudges, so I really don't get her point. There is nothing wrong with forgiving someone or forgiving ourselves. She is conflating forgiveness with naivete

[@KleeKaiPuppies]

False hope is just that, false hope. Much love to you❤Go to the water.

[@nickidaisydandelion4044]

I like what Karl Lagerfeldt said. He said when someone wronged him he Never goes back to that person Ever.

[@silverlinings3946]

We would soon run out of people if we did that from an early age.

[@blessingfarm3674]

I have a son who does that, too, and I can’t say it’s the best method of separating the wheat from the chaff. People are not perfect and are not exactly the same as you. Accidents happen. Forgiving or moving on past something that falls understand those areas (accidents, differences) is not a bad idea, assuming it isn’t a serial occurrence. He winds up cutting off people for personal reasons and not even trying to talk things out with people because confrontation is all or nothing with him. I have watched him turn his back on genuine people who made choices their families needed to have them make and he cut them off because that decision didn’t suit him. He’s done it within our own family without explanation and it is very disconcerting and difficult for his younger siblings. I’ve done my best to try to get a conversation going and to heal things by being kind, but I do know it is not always best for me or my other kids to interact with him when he has such a self-oriented standard and very little room to accept things that aren’t how he wants them to be. I feel bad for him as it makes for a lonelier person and it doesn’t seem to affect the people he feels wronged him at all…other than his family, though we are trying to do what we need to do together and be more understanding of each other than we feel he was of us.

[@nickidaisydandelion4044]

@@silverlinings3946 Ok then let us do that. I would rather live in total reclusion than be surrounded by assholes.

[@nickidaisydandelion4044]

@@blessingfarm3674 Then let him go and wish him well. Maybe he cries when he is alone thinking of his family and how not understood they have made him feel and how casted out they made him feel. But when someone makes that decision of moving on then let that person move on. Don't create a war out of this. Move on too.

[@nickidaisydandelion4044]

@@tinamathis8519 Let people make their own decisions. Religion is not helping anyone it only makes things worse. Think for yourself and Introspect. Cry things out and let others be who they are.

[@silverlinings3946]

It's all very well to know how to move on from a toxic relationship. I always knew that, even though I had no role models in my parents. But nobody teaches how to move on from a great relationship where circumstances caused the separation.

[@woogieluv2304]

I listen to your interviews all the time, but this was by far one of the most important subjects for us all… huge big picture stuff!

[@MM-kf3gq]

Yes so sad…. When my ex broke up with me one of the things she said after the breakup that hurt me a lot was…… that I brought so much to the table and then she said she didn’t know anything that she brought the table…. Made me so sad that’s how she feel even though she did bring so much to the table :(

[@OneWhoKnowz]

I talk often about how young men and men some alike can’t express themselves and be vulnerable. Strength is expression not withholding😊

[@beavis4763]

As a guy I have been taught from a young age that showing emotion and feelings is a weakness.

[@OneWhoKnowz]

@@beavis4763 of course because it’s implanted into society’s standards however it can be unlearned because it’s healthy to express and when we don’t we cause a body not at ease

[@loislane9133]

This talk is golden !!!

[@MichaelAlbrecht-jx5cp]

As a hero male this advise is so so refreshing.FINALY there is just some common sense and humane insight and advice.

[@wendyhenry8558]

Forced forgiveness is definitely not genuine. But when I have ACTUALLY forgiven someone else it means I have forgiven myself also for humanness of it all. Such a relief!

[@davidrudd5126]

Need’s this 4 years ago with my ex. “ day late dollar short “ but MUCH happier now ( I hope my ex is too). Happy New Yesr LH🎉❤☮️🤟🏾🇨🇦

[@andresherrera4158]

From experience, the moment I exposed my vulnerability, the secret from the past, from that moment on the spousal abuse I had t seen grew exponentially until I came down to my knees. The put downs, criticism, shaming , accusing me and as if that wasn’t enough make it public like a door to door saleswoman. From a worms-eye-view I see everyone around me praise her strength, claim her as an example to all women, the hard worker and so compassionate and caring yet so resilient. I knew that version at the beginning and it changed specially when I opened up. Dreams, vision, a plan? I just want to feel again what it means to be on your feet. After all, those who know my version in this story, oh well, women have had it like that for millennia so, it’s your turn to be in chains buddy.

[@heartnwoke2838]

This interview is very good and helpful 😊 , thanks very much.

[@teethach4827]

Hi Lewis, Great interview, thank you sharing. I have learnt a lot watching this. I would like to share my thoughts and opinions on this and would love to hear your thoughts. As a man I think it’s amazing that your able to be vulnerable and emotional with and around your partner. But, does it really make us happy being able to reveal everything to them? I think it’s great that in today’s society/culture, especially in the west, we are encouraged more than ever to be vulnerable and show more emotions in general, especially in our intimate relationships. However, at the same time , it also feels great that we can be strong, stoic, and protect our female partners, especially our young children, as it is biologically wired in them to need a strong male protector to depend on. Of course, there are times where that polarity shifts from men to women and sometimes our female partners are the ones that need to be the strong one for us, however, I think it’s important that men need to learn to come back to their male side, learn to work through our emotions, find solutions to their problems, and not stay/dwell in the negativity. I think failing to do so can cause many problems, as men have the potential to be more destructive in relationships and can easily fall into depression. I think there should be a nice balance in being able to be more vulnerable and show emotions, but also be strong for our women and children, as I believe that biologically men are much more happier when we are successful in doing so and be appreciated for it.

[@thamaradu1297]

The war is over. Amazing how powerfull this is. Thank ypu so much for that!! 🙌🙌🙌

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome,thank you for watching🧡

[@susancampbell5948]

In my experience Men don’t like being in the emotional vibe talk Women love it.

[@myriammario4924]

Thank you for the help you give humanity🙏🏽🧚🏾‍♀️🌟

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@dianabrown833]

Absolutely one of the best presentations you have ever done. A long time ago I learned about debits and credits in relationships, and it is so true. I loved every minute of this and have forwarded it on as well. Thank you both!

[@lewishowes]

Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂

[@reneewatson582]

I greatly appreciate this information and I have learned a lot this morning. I just would like when the guests get to an important statement they lower their voice so much we can't hear them. Also, during therapy, I think it is very important for the person has been abused should tell how hurt they have been by their partner. If they don't express this their partner is getting away with all the terrible behavior they have committed and the suffering this has caused their partner.

[@mabelheinzle2275]

Amazing interview- wonderful woman - thank you Lewis & Lori

[@rushipatel7786]

My man Lewis !!!! keep them coming. I was reluctant to watch this video because of the guest, that someone whome, i didn't hear about before, but i am glad i went beyond my judgment, this was GOLD ! some nuggets eg - when men show vulnerability women automatically get empowered !! fck what a revelation !!

[@tearsofisistarot]

Lewis thank you for doing your healing work as a man, my god, thank you.

[@kathryncothern3433]

A ton of valuable tidbits in this podcast to absorb, execute, and share. Thank you. ❤

[@JayDeePLUS-BEATZ]

This has been one of the best relationship advice videos i have ever seen

[@lewishowes]

So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.

[@ladydragonrider421]

Thanks for the incredible show. I'd like to add one aspect about the looking in the mirror practice. This for me is an intuitive learned observation in relation to the ability of self reflection by a narcissist which is very difficult. Once you see it you can't unsee it as it's in the eyes. If you look at a person's posts on social media, in both formats of pics and videos here's what to look for. In pics they take theyre often from far away or from the side to hide the face. When they start to gain confidence to look directly into the camera you can see them looking into the camera trying to see their reflection back. They aren't projecting the true self in the pic but rather looking into the camera to see themself, like theyre lost. In videos, if they're grandiose enough to do them, a narcissist will always be looking into the camera looking for a reaction. It's that need for constant validation and admiration they're looking to be reflected back. It's the same as Narcissus in Greek mythology looking into the pool of water falling in love with himself. It takes advanced psychology awareness to see a narcissist behind a fake mask. It's why I wear a mask in my profile pics, as a representation of what I see many others wearing, but very few ever get it lol.

[@AdeolaAdebamowo]

LMAO.

[@ALT-vz3jn]

@@AdeolaAdebamowomaybe she’s the narc hiding herself 😂😂

[@itouchtheskyilovetrentino]

Very helpful talk as usual. Amazing. Happy, blissful, good health and full of abundance New Year 2023 to you and to everyone.

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you and your support🧡

[@123marchello]

It's healthy because you did the work! 👏👏

[@LolaAileenVanslette]

It's interesting when you talk about men and women being wired differently. I was the one raised as the boy and my brothers were babied. When I went ice fishing the first time and the wind blew my feet out from under me and I cracked my skull on the ice. I kept fishing even though I had an obvious mild concussion. I hate crying in front of others, I don't ask for directions....It's amazing I relate to women at all. I am not a feminist, but I don't see why men feel threatened by opening up. I'm glad my boys were raised by me (their father died when they were 7), but even if their father lived, he was more open than any other man I've known. My boys don't have the usual "Men" issues that most men have. Hopefully they'll be better in their relationships because I didn't treat them any different than my daughters.

[@MichaelAlbrecht-jx5cp]

I don't forgive her.i just want to forget her completely.Truly!!! .

[@HermesNautico]

3:10 - "Got where the water is. Go to a different well. They are son focus on: but I want water from that well, this particular well; the dry well."

[@katiaromijn8731]

Amazing 👏 the best video so far

[@annawr]

Great interview. Thank you 🙏

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome,thank you for watching🧡

[@theclothingcottage]

I agree it doesn't help to identify as a victim ongoing. But I do think some people will hurt you on purpose, so I don't agree with that. Even someone having an affair knows what they are doing (this hasn't happened to me) and does it anyway, as opposed to another choice to improve their situation.

[@christinecronk9234]

Thank you for that!!!

[@Gisela8603]

I need this today thank you ❤❤😊😊😊

[@JenniferJane78]

Forgiveness is about letting go of cortisol associated with being treated badly, don't need to tell the other person you are no longer consuming the toxins created from something they did.

[@sp4rkle81]

Another interview with her! Looking forward 🙌🏽😊

[@lewishowes]

🧡

[@sp4rkle81]

@@lewishowes 💛

[@vegancatlady1017]

He is wearing the red bracelet. Awhhhhh I bought that before. I wish positive energy your way. 🙏

[@lindahebb4832]

Thank you for posting

[@Marynett_2024]

We’re most definitely surrounded by an ocean but be careful of polluted murky water….

[@gloriatemael7221]

It's pain to dink every day like something is missing something in me it 😭

[@craigosterberg5045]

Thanks

[@Victoria-oe8gs]

Yes 👍 the second one seemed really different

[@Rawvitality94]

This will make room for forgiveness

[@iifyz5816]

Tenk you

[@iamrhear1]

I love this episode ❤❤❤

[@lewishowes]

🧡

[@nelinikova9892]

Lewis my boyfriend jelous of your MMM noise 🙂 P.S Thank you so much for your time ,passion and mmm noise you help me so much every time THANK You

[@GloriaChurchWellness]

Wow! Really good!!

[@lewishowes]

Thank you!

[@phillipschlegel6663]

Wow this is great 👍

[@lewishowes]

🧡

[@barbarahumphries3271]

Excellent. Mic drop

[@souluvlai]

The dry well…. Hmmm… leave that well… and GO WHERE THE WATER IS…. Hmmm THANK YOU….

[@mirashin8400]

Thank you 😊 💓

[@freedomseeding]

Thanks very helpfull.

[@belgicagerman8270]

Happy New year my dear!! Thanks very much !!👍🏽😍🙏🥰💙🙌🏼

[@lewishowes]

You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡

[@hankhill3417]

She just described in first part why women choose the bad boys.

[@renee4882]

I hear little boys being told "big boys don't cry." No, stop. This is so damaging to thier emotional development. It arrest the development of the thing that makes us human. Being made to shut down thier emotions will likely cause life long consequences for them and the people in thier life.

[@divineone66]

12:12 forced forgiveness

[@DariaZeev]

First like and comment, Happy New Year!

[@jessie9653]

Yes.... free style hand please 😀

[@spiritualawakeing]

Thamk you so much. Unwraping my new ipad

[@salmanausheed]

Super Nuggets👏👍

[@SA-px3ln]

What about parents are narcissist they won’t change and still hurt you and can’t get them out of mind trauma bond

[@desibarreto7916]

What about when he doesn’t feel he needs therapy when his insecurities are consuming him ?

[@ALT-vz3jn]

Probably a narcissist

[@wisdomtalks2261]

FORGIVE BUT ACCESS DENIED. Unforgiveness is heavy and you carry the grudge with you unless you forgive.

[@joeyaliofficial]

Lewis the GOAT

[@lewishowes]

Appreciate you and your support🧡

[@Becca14219]

Forgive.

[@MyForeverPerson]

It’s healthy because you are being healthy. The second you play games, ( or she play games to make you question or a red flag raises) it won’t be healthy anymore. The second another woman gets involved and temptation raises, that’s when it Will start the process of issues. Relationships aren’t always healthy at all stages.

[@ADUAquascaping]

Forgiveness is letting go of resentment and grudges. There is absolutely nothing wrong with forgiving someone hahaha

[@souluvlai]

ABSOLUTELY

[@mcharle01]

With NOT FORGIVING

[@ALT-vz3jn]

You can let go of grudges and resentments without forgiving

[@gloriatemael7221]

Yes I can't do same thing go to hoppen again it's pain ful

[@mrstoner2udude799]

Don't forgive unless you want to be a doormat AGAIN.

[@gloriatemael7221]

Wen somebody break ur heart for do long u don't new wat is going way ?

[@karenholtzclaw3135]

😊...yea

[@smstrnadss]

Go to where the water is

[@dbatmans]

How do I start over at 68 with nothing?

[@n.t.495]

With baby steps, go one moment at a time. One day at time and be kind to yourself. It may look dark but focus on the light. You’ve got this. ❤

[@ahoagland11]

Lots of self care, self forgiveness, supports (friends, groups, therapy, etc.), education, patience with yourself as you recover.

[@davemcdonald8790]

Sometimes people feel guilt even though they were victimized

[@gloriatemael7221]

She heading for so long it's make me crying every day wen I'm dink of her 😭

[@gloriatemael7221]

U new wen somebody heart u for so long it's sad thing in life

[@antwandarellefenton]

🇬🇧

[@laurae2372]

My husband could not sit and let me talk for 5 min from my therapist recommendation. He ended up taking the wives report whom had their own issues. He threw me out and had a girlfriend in 2 weeks and never spoke to me. This is 11 years.. he basically disappeared and it took me 2 years of wtf happened? He never can say anything to me.. only blame me .. our divorce was through text

[@702danigirl]

I wish this wasn't 2 hours my attention span is a solid 20 mins 😭

[@lewishowes]

Make sure to check out our Greatness Clips channel - kzbin.info/door/vR7QkSlCxuzAITcs99-G6Q Or Our new Greatness Motivation channel - kzbin.info/door/OSKvqtxPzzlkrVdlDnuTaQ for shorter content :)

[@sandybrownonyt]

Just press pause and come back tomorrow.

[@cyndigooch1162]

702dgirl I absolutely love the long videos because I don't have a TV, so watch and listen while doing housework etc! I usually get caught up in the comments though. Lol. I also finish them another time if I need to go out, or have to go to bed etc, which the other person mentioned. 😊

[@silverlinings3946]

Use History button. Come back later for another part.

[@yehhshhs]

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE THERAPIST???

[@carolferguson1314]

This is what I have a problem with conventional therapist: Emotional Real estate? This implies that your limited in heart space which is a complete lie! If you don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like you have nothing to compare it to! You don’t know what you don’t know

[@gloriatemael7221]

How u can tell her way did u live me ?

[@claudiapmuller5227]

I don't have a LOVE RELATIONSHIP SINCE MANY MANY YEARS AGO, AND I AM WELL. BUT, I WOULD BE FEELING EVEN MUCH BETTER WITHOUT THE BULLIES, THE OPPRESSORS, AND THE PERSECUTORS ALWAYS AFTER ME TO FALSELY ACCUSE ME, JUDGING ME AND CONDEMNING ME BEHIND MY BACK, WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE AND MY CONSENT!!!

[@namthomson1124]

❤😊

[@MsCr0ss]

I don’t believe in the idea of not forgiving… she’s wrong there and I couldn’t even watch the rest. Forgiveness is key. Smh… forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person.

[@sscott7476]

I could not watch it either. Once she said we don't have to forgive, she already turned me off. Do unto others...

[@coretaclark3104]

What Was Her Definition Of GREATNESS???