Stories From A Therapist In Therapy: Lori Gottlieb | Rich Roll Podcast

Thanks for watching! Read all about Lori here 👉🏼bit.ly/richroll464
My guest today Los Angeles-based psychotherapist and journalist Lori Gottlieb. Lori is the weekly ‘Dear Therapist’ columnist for the Atlantic and contributes to several publications including the New York Times. Her latest book, ‘Maybe You Should Talk to Someone’ is NYT bestselling peek behind the scenes of a therapist’s world.
This is a conversation about what happens when a therapist -- someone specifically trained to understand what makes people do what they do -- experiences her own personal crisis. But it’s also a broader conversation about mental well-being in general. A discussion about the psychological impact of comparing ourselves to others. Healthy and unhealthy parenting practices. Repairing ruptured relationships. And many other topics.
Enjoy!
✌🏼🌱 - Rich
EPISODE 464 AUDIO PODCAST
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LORI GOTTLIEB
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MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE
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FILMED AND EDITED BY MARGO LUBIN & BLAKE CURTIS
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Hi I'm Rich Roll. I'm a vegan ultra-endurance athlete, author, podcaster, public speaker & wellness evangelist at large. But mainly I'm a dad of four. If you want to know more, visit my website or check out these two the NY Times articles:
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[@lindabarber1951]

This woman is inspiring and relates so well to people and their lives. Thank you for this informative , thoughtful conversation.

[@opennewproject]

Therapy certainly has its benefits but one of the main reasons many people don't do it more is because there are not many good and affordable therapists. The ones who do except insurance are usually not the right match. So to say that people are not willing to claim responsibility for their own lives and expose themselves to a less comfortable side of truly dealing with issues are a bit too far fetched. It's a choice between 200$ per session (at least) and other maybe more pressing responsibilities one needs to take care of.

[@emilianolodges8470]

open roads and skies yes! The fact is that therapy is not affordable for a large swath of the population.

[@petrichor100]

Can't agree more

[@kkpaine]

The modalities we need - like medicine - have been so commodified that they’re unavailable to the mere mortal. These interviews become elitist.

[@majarubesa5850]

My experience is both similar and different in that when I was in crisis and really ready for and wanting change, I found the right therapist and she made the therapy affordable for my financial situation 🙂 alike "when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it" P.Coelho, The Alchemist

[@renzob100]

I majored in French then followed a similar trajectory by doing pre-med, med school and ending up as a therapist treating substance abuse. Excellent interview and great discussion.

[@deborahbrown5840]

I love that you included your story with your patients stories.

[@bonnieklapel1825]

How great is this podcast!!! This was my first time ever listening and I was not familiar with Rich or Lori at all yet could totally relate to everything they talked about. There really are no coincidences. I am in therapy and this really helped me too although I wouldn’t use just the internet for therapy and expect to make as much progress. I really appreciated everything they talked about too and only wish I had this available to me 40 years ago when I was 19 instead of 59. Maybe I could have avoided some of the pain I’ve put myself through. Thank you Rich, Thank you Lori, both of you for sharing some of your own personal stories and the enlightenment you’ve gained.

[@norapetty3355]

I enjoy the peace Local Health Department For Behavioral your Health, Diagnosis Medicine, Medicine Maintenance learning of medicine Prescriptions Purposes side effects, Coping Techniques Treatment plans information Preparation patient to Precise list in their understanding plan for their doctor appointment visit Licensed Psychiatrist, Counseling Therapist, Participation Interaction support groups & Counselor social workers

[@skylarlaurey7240]

Feel comfortable to listen to this podcast in a not lovely day~~

[@AquanautSt1]

Rich man, your interview skills ... Next level ! Can really appreciate how you can ask tuff questions in a classy yet not patranizing manner . All the best everyone !

[@hi1772]

Bring back neighborhood interaction and community! So true 51:05.

[@elinalocika5485]

Lori, you are adorable!☀️❤️ Thank you for waiting right book to come!

[@majarubesa5850]

👍👍

[@mirelladlima5278]

Wow it's so admirable that you have so easily confessed that you are a pathological people pleaser. Also you are so human to admit that one can momentarily lose their trend of thought. Very honest and easy to relate to. I like to remind myself when people talk to me and relate their problems that they are telling me one side of their story, their version. there is also another version from the other person. Very helpful 🙏 podcast.🙏

[@langolier9]

Wow I forgot that some professional still retain so much integrity it is truly inspiring I’m gonna have to buy your book now

[@deborahbrown5840]

I just finished the book...wow ....what a treat to watch this interview

[@danielkeogh482]

Would you recommend finishing the book before listening?

[@crayolasniffers]

Such an amazing book.

[@lorrainekahane7381]

@@danielkeogh482 l

[@eweiner14]

Reading the book now, so good! She seems like a delightful person.

[@jleed8022]

This was a great interview. Rich-you are incredible. I appreciate your success and hard work in all that you put your focus on while still remaining humble and introspective. Much love to you! I have learned so much through this podcast. Thank you!

[@naydeeneedwards5658]

Read this book, could not put it down, loved it and have recommended it to many people. Thank you Lori great work.

[@livelaughlove4635]

I love listening to her ❤

[@littlecat2222]

Great interview and thank you for the very honest sharing.

[@fauziahhafidha]

This podcast is a gem♡

[@loveofinquiry3839]

Great conversation!💗

[@laurens7431]

She's brilliant, super interview

[@claudieharris9046]

Great interview. Really enjoyed it. Thanks to both of you !!

[@mateja5458]

Very valuable episode.

[@AndreaMagdalenaKosha]

All the thumbs down should listen to content that resonates with their maturity level. They're not ready to grow just yet. Such an informative interview. I always like to listen to Lori. She provides so many tools to heal ourselves and others.

[@annaeverette8960]

Buying Lori's book first chance I get. Thank you.

[@vaishalivaidya7978]

Such a beautiful and profound conversation...Absolutely loved it...gained so much from it...Thank you for sharing it with everyone😊🙏🙏

[@Doaa333]

psychotherapist are most psycho-complex! wonderful candidates for a deep psych research!

[@ninafriedman3414]

this was a great conversation wish it was another hour. I will definitely run to buy her book. heard her on another podcast but this was by far the best

[@aprilcherpaw4229]

Wonderful - Thanks

[@operalove7221]

Such an interesting interview. Thank you. :-)

[@therawreportshowrobdee8947]

Great conversation

[@NVR_Forfeit]

Wow I really enjoyed this talk with Lori, around 1:20:00 in the talk I was sold on her book and bought it.

[@PJPJPJ1215]

For as many revelations as there were in that book, I found this the most interesting. I feel like her book is recommended reading for anyone thinking of doing psychotherapy.

[@majarubesa5850]

Great conversation❣️❣️ THANK YOU❣️❣️💓💖💗💛💜😍 I'd love to see these great podcasts on national TV translated in native languages (I'm watching in Croatia), so many more people can enjoy it❣️ Although different choices and change is sooo important for more quality in life, still for me the realisation (sort of an A-ha!) that some of my childhood memories were in fact memories of sex abuse, was crucial for me, so I think both it's important, understanding and change, in whatever order they happen... 👍👋💃

[@Telenova.]

You look so good in a Beard.. Love it!

[@emilianolodges8470]

Wow I love Rich Roll! He’s kind of like the Joe Rogan of the positive self-help world.

[@vane_ssa903]

I just started listening to his podcasts and I’m so into them!! I just wish i had ppl around me to talk about things with, but ur right they’re great and i love how he interviews people and really keeps it about them and lets them take the convos where they want!

[@joeymarino7]

Joe... Funny to hear Lori say ER, I was on it for 12 years. I probably arrived a year after, I would have loved to have chatted with her. I will read your book Lori. Continued success! Love what you are doing Rich.

[@hnttakata713]

Glad she’s human. I know 2 or 3 female therapist who repel at the thought of being honest, real and fraught with their own judgments and unresolved fears.

[@cthornton523]

The thrust of The Peer Movement in recovery of sanity is the fellowship of lived experience. By being real I am more effective.

[@anatolenavarro6351]

Great Podcast 🙏

[@dinomiles7999]

TRUTH ... !

[@CatarinaZSousa]

He wasn’t a jerk, he just wasn’t thinking or feeling it before really becoming a reality! He wasn’t thinking, he was only living the emotion! I would understand him. Something’s we don’t see the whole things.

[@bobbyrock6906]

"mom I have to do my streaks" -my teen

[@langolier9]

It just took me five years to come to realize and comprehend that I’m better off for it and if I had married her I would’ve been much happier but I would never have realized my full potential which is still ahead of me

[@myggggeneration]

Put a hold on her ebook at the library -- I'm #416 of 80 copies.... How quickly am I going to be able to read the book? LOL ------ Good interview, thanks!

[@bournejason66]

sabine c why not buy the book instead and give her some support?

[@Physical258]

How can I synthesis the book to a simple ideas that I could use and share with others.

[@Onlinesully]

It is correct to say that we find it difficult to see our shortcomings, even running themselves into problems and crisis again and again, until we run ourselves into such pain that we have to see it and face it. what do we do if we managed to go so far as to run ourselves over the cliff and to the point of no return ?

[@Onlinesully]

timing and dosage. Yes critical.

[@richard217]

I'm using internet therapy now...to escape from my anxiety and depression....

[@melitabeliaperezleanos7844]

Not escape, heal. Thanks to these video and otber tools we have the opportunkty to grow

[@mihaelaengblom3827]

Where can I see the show based on her book?

[@Maya_Ruinz]

Best part of this discussion 49:00 the reality is that we are all like programs just following our biological codes that our parents passed down to us. We think we are making rational decisions but in reality our brain/body wiring is completely running the show. Its why we feel so helpless to get a grip on ourselves because in reality if we aren't aware of what we are doing and just moving unconsciously through the world we are going to be leaking problems everywhere we go.

[@Physical258]

"Listen for the music under the lirics. "

[@pauldifranco774]

wow beautiful. Thank you

[@langolier9]

Oh by the way rich you just mentioned this retreat you went to Italy with 45 people well with President number 45 year I’m 45 and how important you are in my life I just decided that I will be part of one of these retreats you have in the future I do not care what it costs or what I have to do I’m gonna be part of it

[@langolier9]

As someone who was told a week before marrying the love of his life his soulmate I don’t want to get married I can really identify with what that woman is going through

[@4sername]

14:00 Rich is talking about himself

[@jwurmnest1779]

Poverty plays into that, I'd love to have more of a life...$ for the babysitter, $ for the hobby/night out, $ for gas to go do it. Submitted by a single disabled mother

[@dinomiles7999]

Live from the INside out not the OUTside in . Eyes mind heart and soul wide open no fear......

[@sooaboutthat..5439]

this is a fantastic interview. Shit, I'm only half way through.

[@dbsabo2]

Is there any Randomized Controlled Trial data (RCT) that can substantiate anything this woman claims in the video? If so can u plz post link to data or study thank you.

[@aprilzapien1172]

What ckasses do i need for clinical psychologist

[@evelynbaron2004]

I always watch this podcast, so does my guy, sorry no-one owns anyone else except through love; just had horrible experience, live in a safe building in a safe city Toronto which is not the same place anymore and a couple of monsters broke in, didn't steal anything but destroyed my stuff -- I got over stuff a long time ago -- and kicked my cat to death. Between the police and getting a broken body to the Humane Society and all the rest of it --- my neighbours are seniors from different countries, vulnerable; something like this affects a community not just me. My 1st impulse was to track these guys down (had to be more than one) and kill them; 2nd great idea was to go get drunk, which as an alcoholic in recovery I didn't do; I see a therapist which is where I'm going right now. Human nature can be wonderful, like right here, or horrible.

[@autumnmeadows4079]

My family member told me how he feels about me. You name it, everything I do is stupid, my culture is stupid. I am having an extremely difficult time coming to terms with this.

[@EveningTV]

This was a terrible violation and I'm sorry it happened. Throughout this interview I have been thinking that this is the kind of therapist that would totally traumatize a person who was truly victimized.

[@simmiedavissimmiesings8185]

Therapy can help you accept yourself

[@richard217]

therapy ...is-ridiculously expensive in Australia.......

[@averayugen7607]

Yeah well they have National Health there. In America someone would pay a lady like that $175 a session, probably for nothing.

[@misterjag]

Aren't practically all therapists in therapy? It's an aspect of professional supervision.

[@LPchief]

True!

[@canyonhaverfield2201]

Feb. 16 2020- wonderful interview...i gained a lot of powerful self perspective. My own experience was powerfully mirrored upon at film-time- point 45:46- wherein you Rich with your eyes dropped to your desk & what I saw as a 'break thru' remark. The delicate issue of the rolls we play within our home territory..& how they end up playing the 'strings' of our roll modeling...in society, in bed or the flower bed of life. Evident in that moment I could see your (R.R.'s) body squirm, face flushed & a fair degree of moisture upon your temple. Lori quickly replied in agreement to your point, yet unfortunately quickly sidestepped going further into that realm of discussion. My guess is the topic was skirted around due to it being a key challenge within Richs' own marriage; & to explore further could of drastically shifted the interview away from Lori & onto Rich. OK , one last little whine note: when you say 'peace', turning from the lens into the corner by your chair, falls short of being fully sincere . Your beaming face & sunburst smile need to beam-out to us & your guest, not that floor corner. I'd be neglect not to give you, Rich, a huge hug in thanks . Your lifestyle- tenting up upon your home roof, closer to fresh moving air, rising early to meditate, stretch, mix a green- fruit drink,espresso maybe too..then bust out for a ride-run-swim, rocks my house & moves me closer to my own ideals. Driving your daughter to school, & hanging out & working there abouts so as to return home together ..in itself is a gorgeous story ! Your kitchen clips detailing menu's & blends are treasures! A bow, hug & hardy hug I give to you& your family & projects ! Sincerely 🐾canyon

[@lizza77]

Сделайте русские субтитры! Очень хочу посмотреть это видео, но его никто не переводит

[@patricathomas6155]

My psychology teacher told us that to practice psyciatry you had to have five years of therapy to get your license>> Is this true

[@simmiedavissimmiesings8185]

It sure helps. Developing empathy and compassion is key to your ability to reach patients.

[@guillermomontero4720]

"We're in a generation of people that have no ability to navigate difficulties and setbacks which does not set themselves up well for life."

[@waynewells1958]

I was raised swim or die by indifference. So I went to addiction for therapy it's expensive.

[@marias7599]

Unfortunately many of us were raised that way. And yes, therapy isn't affordable for everyone, what a shame.

[@bournejason66]

Why Rich Roll doesn’t open his mouth when he speaks?

[@RamonaMcKean]

Rich and Lori, you have a great synergy! 😊

[@UkbunemalYokanlush]

38:45

[@sornalakshmanan1229]

I want to work at POOJA 🎂

[@oonaquinn710]

Who is john irl

[@deantopping156]

One of your best interviews!! I think you fell in love.....

[@a.e.rromero5403]

Didn't she also write "Wasted" ?

[@spiderqueen601]

No, that was Mayra Hornbacher.

[@LisaBeatsCancer]

Ummm did she ever actually ask him if he wanted to give up the peace and freedom of the "Empty nest" to go back to raising another child? Why would he?

[@jeffbrady290]

Beautiful Woman

[@jimdipuppo1101]

You

[@fortcastlevgn2368]

oh dam thx youtube,, for historic lost videos

[@JoyAnnFlorette]

💗🌈😊💐💕❤️🌸😊

[@aboughne8115]

Dishsoap suds on man-wrists...🤤

[@kkpaine]

Dr. Nicholas Gonzalez was a journalist first, then a doctor, treating cancer patients in a healing modality he learned from dentist, Dr. William Kelley, who had arrested his own pancreatic cancer. Kelley had become infamous when he’d tried to help others. Gottlieb story not unique.

[@LindaSaffioti]

@richroll front still image shows some weird photoshopping on her face.

[@langolier9]

And that man isn’t a man if he can’t handle a child like she’s better off without that guy I don’t care what else he had going for him

[@moondog7694]

I'm actually angry at this author. She wrote in her book "Settling for Mr. Good Enough" that women should settle for boring men! I read this, took it to heart, and decided to settle on my boyfriend of around 6 years (who then later dumped me), because he was boring. He fits the profile of "The Quiet Man" in the book "Red Flags! How to Know When You're Dating a Loser" by psychologists Gary Aumiller and Daniel Goldfarb. I don't know if her advice was that women should only settle for such men IF the women desperately want a baby, and all the other pro-baby guys are criminals and abusers, or if her advice doesn't apply to women who are proudly childfree. I was proudly childfree and settled for this guy who wouldn't respond to my conversation with anything other than 1 or 2 sentences at a time (whether face-to-face verbally, or in email, or in text messages to my phone). He wouldn't introduce me to any of his family members or friends, and refused to meet any of my family members or friends. I really don't think women should resign themselves to settling for men who neglect them. I agree with Patti Henry, who wrote in the final chapter of her book "The Emotionally Unavailable Man" that if your boring man doesn't change within 6-12 months, you should dump him, because life is short, and it's not worth it to waste it in a relationship that is frustrating and unfulfilling. As Aumiller and Goldfarb write, and I paraphrase, "...he doesn't really do anything wrong, he just seems to do nothing. If you want to do nothing, go lay on the beach on a tropical vacation".

[@j.l.w9563]

That's a funny booktitle. 'How to know when you're dating a loser'. I wonder if this boyfriend of six years was a stoner? I think that is the biggest red flag. All stoners want to do is get stoned.

[@paulastella8268]

He is a jerk! Honestly,I don’t think that he actually loved you. Liars will always get it in the end.

[@emmapowell167]

L.

[@MimiFootnip]

It feels like this guy doesn't know much about therapy based on his questions...

[@YKKY]

I tried to stick to this and listen but there is something about her that irks me in a very wrong way....

[@blackwater4707]

I think it's her big smile. She seems lovely, but that huge smile is over the top like a defence mechanism. Or it may be cultural. I think that there is a lot more pressure to be fake happy in the US than in Northern Europe where a scowl is perfectly acceptable unless there is actually something genuine to smile about.

[@averayugen7607]

@@blackwater4707 She's hiding something. Most therapists are horrible cause they just DON'T care about you. Maybe her therapist was tailor made for rich celebrities who know the scam through and through and love taking their money anyway..and this one seem to love being fooled. Seems to be a celebrity thing..and we the people seem to love being fooled too. So I say just get in touch with yourself through concerted efforts to know yourself honestly... and you will never have to offer your soul to one of these overpriced and outrageously undertrained fraudulent quacks. They don't know how to help and don't care how useless and harmful they really are. How many therapists hang around YOUR community? How many people still can't cope? Match them up and figure out the truth.

[@averayugen7607]

@@blackwater4707 If I were a guy I would never want to be married to her.

[@A11L9E]

She’s ill and for years the doctors haven’t been able to give her a proper diagnosis. She’s human just like the rest of us, she has her own flaws like we all do. Most importantly she’s a therapist, wtvr she does however she presents herself will find a way to bite her in the ass because someone will see her humanity and be like “yuck, i’d never want them as my therapist”. Again she talks about this in her book :)

[@cherrybun_chu]

@@A11L9E such a lovely response. ♥️

[@nothanks5877]

The grotesque sink supposedly yell because dead generally comb inside a dull rain. powerful, cloistered fish

[@brenm2090]

Cross eyed. Lost train of thought. Dumb questions

[@Physical258]

How may I amplifying my skill of simplyfy the day to day basis not to make it even more complex. I hate complexy because it never ever supports me.

[@rarcurtin]

I just finished the book...wow ....what a treat to watch this interview