Life After An Abusive Relationship

Author and marriage and family therapist Dr. Ramona Probasco shares strategies for coming out of abusive relationships and being fully healed in Christ.
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[@nemysown1645]

Abuse is NOT an ANGER issue, it’s an ENTITLEMENT issue. Wow! Makes a lot sense to me. That’s closure in there!

[@damianavegamaisonet7960]

Yes I agree

[@gospelgrooveswithtracy3608]

Absolutely! I agree 💯 %. I was married to a narcissist who tells people I was the abuser. Still astounds me!

[@awakenasleepsheep2861]

Forgiving oneself is the HARDEST thing one will have to do. It can be done!!! It was the hardest thing I have EVER DONE. It is also THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE!!! 🙏💖🇺🇸🙂

[@teres469]

I have to say I didn't feel need to forgive myself just felt should have moved on earlier but didn't want to split family up, financial worries etc....

[@staceychristian322]

Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. Matthew 6:14-15 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses

[@clocktowerpreacher]

Mmm ... What a wonderful lady, so lovely and feminine & beautiful and absolutely so Godly too ... Tim’s a very fortunate man to be married to her indeed ... well blessed !!! God Bless

[@skajs426]

She’s absolutely right, I grew up in an abusive household and my neighbors always made excuses to avoid dealing with the situation. I was too afraid to ask for help as a child ):

[@eldruidacosmico]

I respect the fact she addressed it as domestic abuse, and did not politicized it as if women are the only abused and all men are "toxic", like the media does in order to sustain feminism.

[@karaa7595]

I only stayed for 4 years. That was enough abuse for me.

[@anya7997]

Forgiveness in this situation is the door to being abused on every level over & over.

[@kirstikulmala2001]

No, Alina, forgiving is not forgetting. Forgiving sets you free from the control of the abuser. To avoid abuse being repeated you need not to forget and learn to set BOUNDARIES!

[@peninahwambui2390]

Entitlement: Being abused and pointed towards my 'bad' family background. Excusing themselves from knowingly doing anything

[@petertempleton2367]

"Abuse is not an anger issue - it is an entitlement issue."

[@rodglisson6841]

Abuse is not an entitlement issue.. Its a demon issue.. The devil comes to steal kill and destroy

[@no_prisoners6474]

That's another fault prevalent in the church. Overspiritualizing everything.

[@loliwemoyo5680]

We can't blame the devil for everything. If abuse is cause of a demon well that spirit manifest itself in our entitled actions and thoughts.

[@JesusChrististheonlyway777]

People are the one who let the devil play and control them , it's our fault. If that person stop or wanted to stop this abuse and started to love his wife , he won't be a abusive partner But he didn't love or stop abusing. When God judges us do you think , God will let us go and just push the demons!? No, we will also be fully responsible for our actions . But we are saved by grace and God forgive and confess our sins and we must repent because we belong to God.

[@user-ru1ki]

Wonderful wonderful person Dr Ramona🌷

[@michellechristopher6468]

This is so true in another abuse relation. frowns. Thank you for this...

[@oazazdravlja5]

Wow.....Phenomenal Congratulations!👏👍👏❤️

[@Jojoyou628]

What a woman!

[@maureengordon6496]

I was in an abusive relationship, went to Christian counseling and was told to stay away until my husband would get anger management classes and he refused. I stayed separated until he requested a divorce. I consulted my pastors who told me to give him the divorce but I could never get married again according to scripture. My ex husband remarried very soon after the divorce but I was left single for the last 20 years. My ex ended up in jail for a short time for abusing his new wife. This does not seem fair to me that I still need to remain single.

[@e.n.9004]

What does God have to say? Scripture says you have one pastor in Jesus Christ. Also, resist the temptation to compare, give that feeling to the Lord. God bless you

[@ediebuckels9600]

I disagree with your pastors.

[@afiblossom5590]

Don't keep yourself in bondage. If you find a man who cares for you, marry him. However, please present the relationship before God so you don't go into another abusive marriage. Your pastor does not have a full understanding of marriage, divorce and remarriage from scriptures. I recommend Kenneth E Hagin's book - Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage. Shalom! 🤗💜

[@momof1150]

If we harbor unforgiveness in our hearts for the offender, we open our lives up to the enemy (see 2 Corinthians 2:10-11). If we are focusing on another person’s activities; we are not focusing on Christ. Thank the Lord that you’re no longer in a marriage with this individual! God has spared you! Remaining single can be a blessing from God. Your time of singleness can really grow you spiritually. If the victim’s mindset doesn’t change, they are apt to make the same mistake over again by marrying another abuser, so in a way God is keeping you safe from harm . Trust Him, Study the scriptures for yourself and let the Holy Spirit counsel you. Peace and blessings to you. ✝️💜

[@Sheryl777]

This is how I understand it: If your husband remarried, that means that he already committed adultery with someone. If your spouse commits adultery, you are allowed to remarry. (number 3 below) 1. Remarriage is permitted by God in only three situations. The first situation is that your ex-spouse dies (Romans 7:2-3; 1 Corinthians 7:39). 2. The second situation in which remarriage can occur is when a Christian spouse is divorced by a non-Christian. The Christian is to let the non-Christian leave. In this situation, the Christian is allowed to remarry, but only in the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:15). That is, the Christian can only marry a Christian (1 Corinthians 7:39). 3. The final situation in which remarriage is permitted is when one spouse commits some form of sexual sin. This is the command of Christ in Matthew 5:31-32. (Your husband committed sexual sin when he remarried).

[@mramirez5239]

This needs to come up, again. So much domestic violence has increased due to COVID and churches need to look to RZIM (currently) for a very solid blueprint on how to take abuse seriously and get to the truth.

[@cristine8277]

ENTLITEMENT no empathy = MARCISISM !

[@brad2548]

Dr. Probasco.... the bible teaches. Forgiveness is something we Have to do. We cant be forgiven if we dont forgive. Also forgiving is a true blessing. It frees us and can free the perpetrator. None are without sin. Your share about your abusive relationship is saddening.

[@mramirez5239]

Not having the language is HUGE.

[@teres469]

She was married too young..I was the same though at 22yrs...More emotional abuse though on my side ...and controlling but subtle until you just give up...I'm separated now 3 years after 33 years of marriage but still amicable..four children....but still grieving...

[@nancymiller349]

Anyone who's being abused should not have that book in their possession at home. That would be a trigger for an abuser.

[@mramirez5239]

Trapped "by their own hand" does not exist.

[@mariiglo28]

The church I went to forced me into marriage and then they did what is called expelling or shunning because I left him. According to them I lost my salvation and I'm doomed to hell and there's no hope for me to get to heaven.

[@haliyaks]

Praise God you are out of that place. It seems it is a cult. As I pray for healing, I hope and pray you are receiving help as part of your healing.

[@pinkroser.e5112]

That church lie to you. yes God doesn’t like divorce but first of all God doesn’t like Abuse and oppression.

[@vivianesaibou9821]

This is a lie please don't believe that. You are saved by grace through Christ not according to what you have done or you have said but by grace and only by grace. Please remove that condemnation coat and put on the coat of love and freedom

[@teres469]

What a load of rubbish 😅....

[@teres469]

I feel I can't have a relationship as a Catholic as i'm only separated.. replies welcome!! 🙏

[@lanceallenmcginnis1105]

@teresadoone2101 You are doing the right thing. Dr Ramona May wake up to coffee every morning but she is the biblical definition of an adulterous and will one day wake up on the wrong side of eternity. Romans 7:2,3 Luke 16:18 and several other scriptures are clear about her actions being adultery. 1 Corinthians 7 clearly says to “remain unmarried or reconcile”.

[@teres469]

​@@lanceallenmcginnis1105Thankyou....

[@kathymiller549]

But God says he hates divorce. So if you do divorce, the Bible says you can not remarry or have relationship after a divorce. Unless your spouse gets sick and dies. I don’t understand how remarried is being ok with ones who follow Jesus. Please explain

[@LadyBug31705]

Her husband already divorced her in his heart. He broke the vows. The legality is just a technicality.

[@mrsm3356]

Please give me the ladies contact details I'm going through abuse in South Africa

[@truegrit7697]

She had to figure out "god's perspective on abuse and divorce..." Seriously? If "god" is down with abuse, you need to dump that religion AND that supposed "god." smh...