Life After Psych Drugs: Will Your Intelligence Return?

[@SludgeMan90]

Thank you for telling the truth about what these lobotomizing neurotoxins actually do to people. Psychiatry should be abolished

[@SludgeMan90]

@@russellbyt i was not injured by psych drugs, but by another horrible medication, alas i know many who have. Unfortunately i have not been able to recover, but cannabis helps. Check out my channel, RxPilld

[@SludgeMan90]

@Sael yeah I think before I talk. Psychiatry should be abolished and a new reformed system should be put in place. One that does not entail the administration of ineffective and destructive neurotoxins that destroy millions of lives.

[@chg6365]

Hi @UC4pL3439MMbv0NlzZZ2gzXg, yes, absolutely!! Life has become a torture for me

[@brianwilliams6555]

You know my first visit to a psychiatrist I was so excited because they are at the top as far as treating mental issues in our country but I found out pretty quick their job if you put it on a list listen to the patient and they'll ask you if you're allergic to something then give you a script and I'll see you in a month God forbid if you ask him anything about the medication you just tossing the line then enough paying them almost $400 for that

[@hellokitty14218]

These psychiatrist need to be held accountable for all the damage they cause prescribing cocktails of meds.

[@warrenyoung4822]

Im grateful to know I’m not alone. Still a prisoner of Seroquel after 20 something years, but I’m breaking the prison walls one day at a time. I’m currently on 75mg. Made my way from 600mg. Started as a kid, 34 now. This medication will not end me.

[@russellbyt]

Congrats, that's great progress! We all know how hard it's been. It's like we gotta tunnel through all those bricks with just the dull end of a paper clip. But we can do it. Sounds like you’re getting there. Wishing you all the best as you keep moving forward. Much love.

[@Waves353]

Proud of you!

[@semjomalek8919]

Keep going !!!

[@tompetty3742]

Congratulations. You're doing it on your terms.

[@vitorfernandes6747]

For what mental ilness you use that?

[@Schoohness]

I'm crying because this comment section is so relatable. So long feeling like a prisoner in my own mind, which I relished before. I loved how my mind worked. I was sharp, emotionally driven, passionate, humorous. Creative. I am an artist that cannot muster a painting. Colors are foreign to me, I don't understand how they work together. I spent the summer thinking of ways to die. When you said "learning how to read again" I felt that so hard. I feel like I've been lobotimized. Thank you for making this video. I'm trying to be patient with myself and this helps.

[@jackiejames3898]

I remember having trouble sighing my name!!! I was mortified. It all comes back I promise.

[@CREEKSTx3]

@@jackiejames3898 how about your sex drive?

[@chg6365]

Hi See yaa, how do you feel today? It would be so nice to know. I can so much relate to everything you wrote.

[@chg6365]

@@jackiejames3898 Please share your experience. What has helped you?

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@justmeagain-xp2mw]

I used to be so creative, articulate, smart... I once loved to read. Now I can't. I get to the end of a page and think "what the hell did I even read just now?" Because its already gone out of my head that fast.

[@russellbyt]

One of the great joys of recovery has been getting those things back little by little. It’s bittersweet since they shouldn’t have been taken from us in the first place, but their return is something to look forward to!

[@KoeDomo]

do you think its because of meds is it permanent?

[@ZeroOne130]

I been like this sadly. No meds

[@drirene57]

@@ZeroOne130 Try the ketogenic diet. The results are amazing!

[@o.00.o74]

I do not even bother to read much now days. It is like I start an article and half way through I have already changed my mind that I really do not need to read this because it means nothing. Like the seroquel is constantly altering my preferences. I guess in some respect that is good because I had too many interests and I did not focus on what is really important. However, I have come to a point where almost nothing interests me other than topics about pills.

[@debraszekely9042]

Memory loss, confusion, inability to learn, ...during withdrawals, these side effects intensify. The brain does heal. Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual healing start to occur. Some damage to the brain, caused by long term high doses, may be permanent. This is why your story is so important. Loss of intellect and learning abilities, is a common side effect of neuroleptics. More of a human rights violation than a cure. You have survived and can tell your story. This is very helpful. I wish you happiness, perfect health, and success*

[@sangeetalambh6389]

Debra how r u now

[@CREEKSTx3]

I used abilify 3 weeks , risperidone 1 week , will my intelligence and sex drive return ????

[@lawrencequinn2166]

Will rispedal/ risperdone permanently make lsd or mushrooms not work 10 months after I stop taking it I took it for 2-3 months

[@CudaWudaShuda365]

I absolutely agree this shit is a crime against humanity wrapped up in "but it's helps you"

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@meganbarnett__]

Yep I was like that when I was on antipsychotics, completely impaired me felt like I was trapped in my own body. I’m off them now thank GOD

[@CREEKSTx3]

Did u regain sex drive and intelligence??

[@joshuawisdom8157]

what were you on to begin with? Antipsychotics?

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@MrThegamemasterlord]

how long did it take for Intelligence Return cause im of it for 3 weeks im droping things and cant think it worst

[@basedcat2349]

That’s such a good way to describe it. They’re poison!

[@N0p3er5]

I should add that I am older- 40. And I quit decades of drugs, and after a few years off I got my ability to think clearly, my memories, and my spirit back. I have always been suicidal, I don't remember a time in my whole life where I did not want to die. Now I love life very much.Tapering gave me enough spark back to escape domestic violence for good. I'm really grateful I had the space and the supportive environment to become drug free. How I pulled this off, I don't know, but I am proof you can come back from this.

[@russellbyt]

That’s a lot to overcome! I do think it’s important to give ourselves credit. Most of us don’t come this far by accident. We had to have some help and a maybe even a little good fortune here and there, which is why some aren’t able to do it quite yet, but it’s tons and tons of work. The end result can look like a miracle to others. Even to ourselves at times. But we found a way to survive something that didn’t really want us doing that - or didn’t want us to survive it _our_ way. And yet, we found a way to do just that. So happy to hear you’re loving life now :) And really glad you’re out of that horrible and dangerous domestic environment!

[@Bob-po2dp]

@@russellbyt I must say for how horrible this experience has been just looking at the positives to keep any sort of sanity, I feel like I have learned a lot about myself and who I am. Like you said it’s almost a rebirth of sorts in a way, and being taken to rock bottom gives you perspective. I find myself enjoying the little things in life, and I never did that before. Sunlight on my skin, a good song, eating good food. I just have so much more appreciation for it. If I could go back in time would I have never taken this fucking drugs? In a heartbeat. But looking at the silver lining, even if there were very minimal positives, there still there, and acknowledging them have helped me a lot. I’m just glad to still be alive you know?

[@onesai5555]

​@@Bob-po2dpwere you able to fully recover? Off it for 3 months, took it for 6 weeks.

[@pearpo]

Congratulations 🎉 it sounds like a lot of diligent work, meditation, self control and self-compassion. ❤️❤️❤️

[@veryskeptical2409]

" psychiatry has turned out to be using someones suffering against them for profit" a noble profession?

[@ercushkakulmetov7458]

in captalism everthing if for profit

[@dark7angel456]

I agree. They are pure evil

[@Solscapes.]

It's a little more than just a profit motive. Dissidents are almost all inherently depressed by the situations that make us dissidents. So, for us it is also about control, complacency, and specifically about flooding our brains with neurotoxins. Also, most mental illness is caused by narcissistic abuse, so the entire field is all about enabling the narcissists and blaming the victims for having "bad brain chemistry" or "bad genes" or "not making the right decisions." Never mind any actual statistics, we'll just let Eli Lilly cherry pick the findings and sit back and collect kickbacks.

[@veryskeptical2409]

Evan our souls? @@ercushkakulmetov7458

[@windy1267]

@@ercushkakulmetov7458 j u d i s 3

[@Scaler81]

What I have found to help is 1. meditation. 2. working out (weights or running). 3. healthy diet. 4. no drugs (no alcohol, caffeine etc). 5. staying productive (work/school etc). 6. getting good sleep (dark room, no noise, enough hours). Doing these everyday and sticking by them religiously. I'd say the more serious your case is (on meds for many years) you should abide by these all the more strictly and intensely. Also setting goals is helpful. For instance, if you are intelligent enough - during your recovery - to provide for your livelihood (i.e. you can hold down a job) any other additions in your recovery is just extra. In other words, knowing when you feel 'good enough'. Likewise rediscovering laughter and your sense of humor will go a long way. A good comedy is a great antidepressant.

[@Medietos]

Good, but what do you mean? That you had psychosis and managed without med.-drugs because of the good lifestyle? Please answer,. What about combination with aLoneliness, C-PTSD = anxiety, depression = alcohol/ coffee/ smoking/ street-drugs?

[@dimachan200]

Thank you for another excellent video. Coming off psychiatric drugs really sucks. Only now I'm realizing how much I've lost because of this drugs. Not only my intellectual abilities, but also my spirituality and the connection to my inner self. I can't even speak with my friends about this, because they just would not understand. Just want my old self back 😑

[@dimachan200]

@@russellbyt Thanks for your Answer Russell! You are absolutely right. It's really like living with a personal history that we can't really talk about. May I ask you, what helped you most through the withdrawal? Did you ate or avoided certain foods? Did you exercised? And in one of your videos, you said that you were diagnosed with OCD. Do you still struggle with OCD and how do you manage it? Sorry for so many questions and my bad english skills 😅 Wish you good luck and all the best!

[@dimachan200]

@@russellbyt Thanks for your answer! The past 2 months were really tough for me, but I'm slowly recovering from my psych drug experience. Physically I'm fine, but I still have not gained back my passion for my hobbies and my intelligence back.

[@justshirley1209]

i see you left this comment 1 year ago, did the intellectual abilities come back after you stopped medication?

[@ezeid137]

I died at 22 and I'm almost 31 because of benzos

[@whatshisname3304]

@@ezeid137 i know what you mean. i was only anti depressants for anxiety, but the ocd and all the other stuff changed me and it does feel like I was another person. my thoughts my feelings, my confidence, and most importantly my attitude to people, and my sense of who I was. i used to take diazepam and they play with your head, its nice and calm but you have to come out of it at some point.

[@jondeik]

In 3 months quitting all of my meds (i don’t suggest doing this cold turkey like I did, this was a mistake)-- i have reclaimed so much intelligence and clarity, and become mentally much better. My attitude is great too

[@russellbyt]

That's great! Congrats. Quitting cold turkey must've been awful but I'm glad it's worked out for you 😀

[@Metachief_X]

I quit cold Turkey two days ago. Trying to fight the matrix. Wish me luck!

[@mourya-hf5ev]

​@@Metachief_X Hey how hv u been so far?? Wish u luck buddy

[@rleston6848]

I have the same problem, lack of intelligence and memory, tiredness and lack of drive to do things. But the psiquiatrist and the psyquiatric nurses talk like you are normal, of course you can study and you can work, all the rest of people in medication do them. Only in the internet I find that people in medication are actually like me, and medication affects them.

[@russellbyt]

Glad you’re finding your people :) Psychiatry and much of the mental health system overall are recklessly protective of the meds and it makes our online community so vitally important to folks like us. Much love to you.

[@deniscristianmilos2520]

@rleston6848 I have the same symptoms as you do and I am planning on going off of medication. I have been off medication 2 years ago and I recovered very fast after that. I could work I felt alive again. Don’t loose hope and maybe we can connect to keep in touch with how it goes with our experiences off medication let me know if you wanna stay in touch!

[@sackstoracks]

@@deniscristianmilos2520hey family, two questions .. 1.) why were you placed on medication was it something drug induced? 2.) how did you get off the medication?

[@DavidCurryFilms]

It's good to hear this thank you.

[@emmadezwaan]

So relatable!! Psychiatry really drove me mad. Been on all kinds of psychiatric drugs for 9 years and I couldn't function at all anymore. I had epileptic seisures at the end. It got so bad, they wanted to commit me into psychiatric inpatient care permanently. But then my intuition kicked in and I knew I had to get out. I didn't know why yet, but I just felt I had to get out right there and then. Long story short, I quit all drugs, cold turkey (NEVER DO THIS, IT'S EXTREMELY DANGEROUS!! but somehow I servived) and I managed to get out of psychiatry for good. I too had to learn how to think, read and write again (still learning). My intuition guided me, and I've come very far. It has been 18 years now and I'm still recovering and in mourning for the years I've lost and the damage it has done to me. But my intelligence has come back for the most part, I think, it's far above average by now. I'm still struggling with all the trauma, but I gained so much knowledge from the whole experience! I just needed to understand how the system broke me (and many, many others. We are lucky to have servived, many don't!) down that much, so I took a deep dive in the matter and I learned so much about myself, others, psychology, sociology, politics, capitalism, history, society, philosophy, ethics. I went to university to study philosophy but I had such a deeper understanding of how systems operate, the schooling system included. I quit because there was nothing to learn for me there. The teachers lacked so much practical awareness, common sense, wisdom and deaph, it frustrated me. My critical thinking skills were driving us al mad, I'm afraid 🤣 I made the teachers think, not the other way round 🤣 So I figured I didn't need education from the schooling system, I rather figure things out on my own. I'm not the type that is motivated by high grades, witch university was all about, but I'm driven by my own curiosity and creativity. I've grown so confident of my mind, that it doesn't matter how much was lost. How to tell anyway! Sometimes, I wish more of it was gone, because this is also an isolating experience. It's hard to find people I can relate to, so that's why your video jumped out for me. So, don't worry to much about your mind! It sounds fine to me, far above average as I can tell. And you wil keep on healing, growing and learning. More important is to take care of your spiritual and your emotional well-being. But hearing you reflect on your experiences, I think you too will manage fine in those areas. The journey has been very tough for me too, but I'm in a far beter place now. It takes time, but when you look back in a couple of years, you can't even imagine the ability for you to have grow that much without this experience. It will give you other gifts than just getting back your high intelligence. To me, my intuition has become one of my greatest sources of wisdom, not my high intelligence. Open your mind 😉 and be amazed, take care!

[@russellbyt]

So sorry you’ve been through all this! What you said about still recovering after so long, and being in mourning, and still dealing with the trauma are all so relatable. It’s so much more complicated than “I came off psych meds and now I’m doing so much better.” It’s what makes it so hard to quickly and concisely answer the “How are you now?” question all of us get asked after coming off meds and staying off them. And the benefits you shared are so relatable too :) It’s been one hell of a journey. So many ups and downs and sudden (and not-so-sudden) curves. But the experiences we’ve gained really have been invaluable. We’re going to be okay. We _are_ okay. Much love to you!

[@emmadezwaan]

@russellbyt Thank you for your response! I'm glad you are doing well on your journey! There is more public awareness about the harms of psychiatric pharmaceuticals; more and more former patients and professionals are speaking out against psychiatry/ big pharma. Great, I hope things will change for the better. In the Netherlands, where I'm from, there was a great peer support movement, I was part of. This movement helped me so much with dealing with the trauma. I worked as a peer supporter in Dutch psychiatry, but then they turned the movement into controlled opposition by demanding the peer movement be absorbed into the regular education system, by merging it into social studies. At first, I was enthusiastic, I saw it as recognition and valedation of our work to improve the psychiatric system, but soon after I started social studies, I discovered the schooling system was corrupting the peer support movement. It became a product of psychiatry, not our movement anymore. I became the thorn in the side of our movement, I saw how my classmates were being indoctrinated into psychiatric ideolies again, but they didn't. I quit social studies, and with pain in my heart, got out of the movement as well. Now, ten years later, some peers woke up again and started building their own parralel psychiatric care system. I think this could be a far beter solution than trying to change the system. The forces in power (insurance companies and big pharma) are to mighty, you can't beat them. For me, I'm still struggling to find my way in society. It's hard. If I see injustice, or something goes against my morals, I need to act on it. Employers don't appreciate that. I'm not a good wage slave, not capable of becoming part of the herd. I don't fitt in, but tough it's very practically inconvenient, part of me is glad about it. Who wants to be normal in this f*cked up world anyway? Not me. So, I'm between jobs again at the moment, and struggling financially. Never managed to get out of poverty, so that sucks. But I just can't deny my true self for money, I just can't. So, how did you manage to become part of society -again-? If you have.. And what about peer support in your country, does it exist? Just courious: How did you cope with the corona crisis? In the Netherlands, they used coersion to force people to get vaccinated. It reminded me so much of psychiatry forcing medication on me, so I refused to take it. Never did. I didnt trust it one bit. People just didn't understand why I didn't want to get vaccinated. I tried explaining it, but people were so brainwashed by the propaganda of big pharma, they just didn't understand. Can you relate? Did you get vaccinated? Lots of love and all the best to you!

[@skinney9542]

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience and knowledge, you have given me much needed hope today. I hope your healing journey continues ❤🙏

[@deelightful6124]

FINALLY someone is talking about REAL situations.. and addressing intelligence. My daughter graduated salutatorian from grammar school ..and later valedictorian from high school. She graduated from college with high honors . She became a teacher and was a good one. I am an avid reader and my daughter USED TO READ BOOKS EVERY DAY, now she h doesn’t read and no longer engages in creative writing .She was planning to publish a book of poems But after a prolonged psychotic episode she was medicated with INVEGA. She s no longer talkative she no longer writes poetry, she can’t seem to land a job . She sleeps lot. iShe seems to be she’ll of her self. IT WAS VERY DIFFICULT TO ACCEPT THIS NEW REALITY. After nearly a year of witnessing her mental decline she finally agreed to come off these dangerous meds . I encourage her to d yoga, take vitamins, meditate and eat a healthy diet. Over the past few weeks k I’ve seen gradual and subtle improvements. This video gives me HOPE . I will continue to support my beautiful daughter to live her best life and to regain her brilliant mind and outgoing personality.

[@gabrielsmessage114]

I am practically 3 weeks of being tapered completely. I have been completely tapered off of psychiatric drugs before for months, however, I ran into some domestic abuse from my father. I was inside of my apartment when my father called the police on me and lied to the cops and told them I was schizophrenic and that I had stopped taking my medicine. My psychologist had already diagnosed me with PTSD and had severely ruled out any suspect of any other diagnoses. However, basically my father took everything I had worked to gain where I would function as a happy, healthy and intelligent individual away. I was in college, I had a job, I had friends, and that was because I came off of the psychiatric drugs. Then my father knew that police would arrest me if he told them I was having a "psychotic episode." He did this because he came to my apartment uninvited once and I made him leave my apartment. He felt left out and angry, and had his revenge by intentionally lying to the police. I was thus prescribed the drugs again, and now have to run through the Icarus maze one last time. I am almost out of the maze, finally. I have to realize that my sick and predatory father is to be ignored and shut out of my life, as well as any other people who would use psychiatry as a weapon to harm me like my father. I have 2-3 weeks left of being on any psyche meds, and when I am finally off I know I will begin to get my social and higher mental faculties back. However, as it is now, because I take psychiatry, I avoid reading and just play video games on my laptop. That's really all I've ever done on the influence of psychiatry besides watch KZbin, Netflix and Anime. The last 6 months have been a nightmare due to the fact that I thought I was at the finish line but had to restart my efforts and re-live all of the torment that I had been through for so long. I also lost all of my friends, the job, and I dropped out of school. So basically, after being free of the psyche drugs, and then being force fed them again due to my father's lies, my worst fears became real and I lost all I had earned from the miracle of psyche drug recovery. I swear to dear God, I know 100% that without fail, if I can breathe without psychiatric drugs in my system that I am able to succeed in life, but as it is now, my life has tumbled and fallen and been burned to the ground, thanks to the predators in my life. only 2-3 more weeks, and I beg to God that I will finally be free of psychiatric drugs for the rest of my life. I pray to dear God, because I do need to in order to work and go to college and just flatout enjoy any part of my life.

[@KazOoZles1412]

Same. I too have to go back to them. I needed a brain scan from all the traumatic experiences I've experienced. Not those damn drugs. I've undergone hell too from withdrawing from them and now I am back to taking them again.

[@jackiejames3898]

Learn about narcissism. You definitely have them in your life and I'm very sorry.

[@elvenleaf5589]

Sounds like my mom

[@chg6365]

Hi Gabriel! How do you feel today?

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@Litigation_national]

Everything you described was me. I was on abilify. I couldn't read anymore, I lost my intelligence and could no longer understand the things I used to enjoy. Lost my job, dropped out of college, had bad spending habits, lost my friends...and worst of all gained weight and contracted diabetes. All within the span of a year. Abilify ruined my life. Im glad to know im not crazy but this really is something that is haunting me but thank you.

[@russellbyt]

Definitely not crazy! These drugs can be... transformative. This leads to a positive result for some, but it can be ruinous for others. It's a lot to deal with and will take a good while to work through it, but I hope you'll be able to get your life back in spite of all you've been through. Don't lose hope.

[@Litigation_national]

@@russellbyt thank you for your kind words!

[@jhonholmes8791]

Please dont worry. Go for wet cupping regularly and exercise

[@TheWaffleshit]

Thanks for your video. Slowly recovering. Psychiatrist had me on the highest dose of risperdal possible for my age (at 18), although she was never able to come to an actual diagnosis of any sort except depression (you can see where it came from). Tip for everyone, don’t go to a Psychiatrist who doesn’t deserve the title.

[@playswithsquirrels3799]

I almost wish I was schizophrenic to justify my horrible experience on Seroquel. I was totally given it off label and I wish I had the means to sue.

[@JZGreengo]

I’m 20 and my psychiatrist did the same thing but with a nasty injection of risperidone (120mg), the highest dose you can inject someone with

[@jennarosekol9928]

What happened to you

[@elijahsmith6722]

@@JZGreengo did you recover?

[@JZGreengo]

@@elijahsmith6722 yup, still working on self improvement and it was a great experience to know that horrible docs exist so now I know not to trust every doc because of their degree

[@america1st974]

Took Depakote ER for two months. Stopped five days ago. My libido, intelligence, creativity, vocabulary, and analytical abilities are down 85%. Your videos are giving me hope. I'm almost still numb. Thank you for your hopeful, personal experience.

[@russellbyt]

Hey, glad I could help! The drop in our capabilities is significant (near total, really) but it does get better. Much love.

[@sephiclou362]

​@@russellbytthanks that's good to know

[@transpirational144]

4 years after stopping antipsychotics completely, I’m struggling with my life more than ever. It’s helpful for me to see this video because it reminds me of how much I’ve moved forward since I started my taper 8 years ago. I’m comparing my life enjoyment and ability to function with before I was medicated and perhaps that’s not fair on myself.

[@russellbyt]

It definitely helps to switch out the measuring stick! And it doesn’t help that the experience of coming off meds itself can be traumatic and isolating and a factory for unfair comparisons. It can really do a number on how we feel and how we think about ourselves. It’s some really heavy stuff coming at us from all angles for years on end. You truly deserve patience, compassion and fairness, from both yourself and others 😀

[@SHILLGATESCRYPTO]

what parts are you struggling with most?

[@transpirational144]

@@SHILLGATESCRYPTO I’ve lost most of my social circle and I struggle to hold down a job so I’ve been living with my mum and dad for 5 years. Mum is a narcissist so I’m working through narcissism patterning on a deep level which obviously will serve me in the long run, but what I’ve lost is the rich, fun and meaningful life I used to have. I’m hoping to go back to uni and do a Masters degree soon so that I can reconnect with new people on my wavelength who appreciate me. For me, a lot of it is also mid-life changes (old friends buying houses, having kids and I’m not), and geography: the isolation because I live in the countryside and post-pandemic I’ve lost my social skills.

[@johnrodriguez4339]

You are a ray of hope for my life. I cannot thank you enough. I will be back. To what I was. To what I deserve to be. More than a decade of this psych drugs. And now I realize what I have lost. The same doctors who put me in this mess refuse to help me get out of this. People on internet sharing experiences are helping me. Memory issues, emotion issues. Lack of intelligence. Cognition impairment. Lack of constructing even two sentences with a thought. No inner monologue for years. Withdrawal sucks.Even with slow tapering. I will celebrate my small victories. I will be back. Thank you ❤︎

[@johnrodriguez4339]

@@russellbyt Thank you Russel! Could you please share Which resources did you use for helping you in withdrawal process? I already see few signs since I started tapering off started - since last year. The first thing I noticed that my inner monologue was back and then it struck me - I was a zombie for so many years and I did not even realize it. I was calm and peaceful because I had lost the capability to think and no thinking and no emotion means you will not get angry - not be sad - not have any emotion basically. Now I am starting to think, and am relearning how to think. Slowly, I can feel emotions. I feel happy, sad, joyous, angry - I feel like slowly - I am starting to feel alive. And by the way. I write a lot of short poems and many of them were on the lines of feeling empty, feeling a void - feeling that there is nothing left - when I was on these meds. And now I get it. Now I can see that it is getting better. ❤︎ to you sharing your experience. I just hope the physical symptoms of withdrawal and dependency go away. I cannot sleep properly without one of the psych drugs I am tapering off now ( medicine induced insomnia I guess). And get headaches and sweating - probably withdrawal symptoms.

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@Гермес-я6ю]

How are you today?

[@whatdice8634]

​@@Гермес-я6ю ты на инвеге? дай контакт

[@sharonjensen3016]

I don't have a problem forgetting the wrongs Dr. Drug-pusher did to me. Yet he had the nerve to say that I should be "grateful." Sure, I'm grateful. Thanks for ruining my physical health and breaking my trust with your psych-meds and lies about me having probable psychosis. Thanks for not taking my concerns about said-medications seriously. Thanks for taking away any chance I had of having children and a normal life. Most of all, thanks for nothing, Dr. Drug-pusher.

[@chikarabest3027]

I watched this video months ago and I just thought about rewatching it again this morning. I tried to explain this to my family but they just look at me like I’m a hypochondriac. this whole time I’ve been so concerned with what psych meds did to me? And it makes me feel better that I’m not alone in feeling like they have to relearn a lot of things.. but I have really not been the same and it’s been months since I’ve been off of them now. I miss my old life.. I miss how I used to be. It’s so hard to live my life how I want to live it now an no medical professional believes they the meds have truly dampened my quality of life. I have no drive no passion, no inner monologue, no insight or prospective on things. I truly hate myself for starting meds bc well.. I didn’t need them. Just wanted to say thank you for your post.. it’s created a small community group in the comment section and I’m very grateful.

[@priyao5097]

WOW. You NAILED it. I miss my inner monologue, my internal voice, my creative spark. It’s so difficult for others to get this- my family is puzzled (“but you SEEM fine!!”) and want me back on the meds. I am waiting to recover but the hours and days are inching by.

[@chg6365]

Hi Chikara and Priya, how both of you feel today? I can relate to EVERYTHING you guys wrote! I don't know how you feel now. Maybe we can connect and support each other in this process? I feel so alone with all that.

[@adriangraham1868]

@@priyao5097 how do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@aashish551]

@@priyao5097 same here

[@anniemcmillen940]

Thank you so much for this video. I've been on lexapro for 2 years and it has turned me into a binge eater, compulsive gambler, and other things I would never have done previously. I have finally realized what cause this behavior. I want my soul back.

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@joyfrizzell1363]

I need prayers to come off of my medications.

[@cherylelancaster8791]

@joyfrizzell1363 I've been tapering off one medication, Clonazapam, but have, in the past, taken antidepressants for many years. I think daily about whether or not the anxiety and panic will return after the taper. Cognitive loss apparent after 17 years of benzodiazepene use (prescribed dose - never increased) Once was an avid reader and writer. I will be praying for you every day.

[@kevinmiller8265]

​@@cherylelancaster8791I wish I had an answer for you . I don't . I think I was a guinea pig for psych meds . I quit all of them in 2018 I refuse to feel worse than I do . I still have some issues with anxiety and panic . I have trouble with depression .. I think my intuition is good but once was better . I'm confused if it is my intuition or panic . What actually helps me the most is my dog .. . I'm not the same as I was but I think I actually feel better than what the so-called medication had me feeling ..

[@sarahvictoria1419]

How's it going buddy?

[@tompetty3742]

I'm 3 months out this time. Thank you for this raw honesty. I agree 1000%. Giving credit for the smallest of victories is vital. I have to give it to myself, as no one else will. I know it's not out of malas, only ignorance. Unless a person has experienced this tragic invisable medical brain injury, they can't understand it. The hardest part for me right now is knowing what I once was capable of in all areas of my life. I believe things will get better, but at the same time try not to have specific expectations. I feel like that type of thinking got me here, and not all by my own doing. " Here take these pills, they will fix everything". Writing this comment took 15 minutes or more. Lots of back spacing and editing. I'm ok with that, because I had the courage to do it.

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@tompetty3742]

@@adriangraham1868 It's a slow healing process. Mind feels a lot better, but bad days still come. my emotions are better regulated in the last few weeks. My body is struggling. I was told it could take years, so I'm trying to keep expectations in check.

[@Blackmoonsoulx]

I really hope you can find happiness!!!

[@miriambochenek9083]

God bless you Stay this way Believe me you aremuch better than many who thinks they are.

[@tompetty3742]

@@miriambochenek9083 thank you. I can't believe the changes that have happened since I first wrote this. Each day has made a small improvement, that in turn has made a huge difference. Even with the current state of this country, I wake up ready to face the days challenges, & rewards. It has been decades, if ever I felt this alive. I still face hurdles like anyone else, but I feel capable to find a way over or even around them. Blessings to you.

[@clairelarge3917]

You are so articulate, love your videos. I’m on 600mg Lithium - I tried 3 days off then had psychotic break so had to go into hospital. Psychiatrist will not support me in tapering. I’m currently doing a fruit cleanse to try and heal my Kidneys and Thyroid which are damaged by Lithium. Feel so helpless and frustrated! I’m going to look into a clinic that will support tapering off the Lithium. I am disgusted with mental health provision, I was treated like an animal on psych ward. Sorry for the rant! Keep up the good work. X

[@sackstoracks]

Any better Claire ?

[@LastLetterisZed702]

@clairelarge3917 I was put on 1500mg of Lithium in 2007 and over the years it's been decreased to 900mg. I take 24 pills every day and I'm beginning to get sick and tired of all of them. Other pills I take are Quetiapine, Clonazepam, Luvox, Abilify, Trihexaphenadyl and a few more. I'm currently extremely depressed over the last 2 weeks and I can barely leave my room. People don't understand. They ask me what is making me sad and they don't understand that there is no specific reason.

[@nathansyoutubechannel7842]

Thanks for this video. I've had 6 years of antipsychotics. Alot of damage. Encouraging.

[@russellbyt]

There's always hope. Much love to you!

[@sephiclou362]

​@@russellbytgood to know

[@sallycrawford2729]

My 31 year old daughter can not process information, has delusions, paranoia, and doesn't make sense too much of the time. Her brain is messed up from psych meds and I couldn't believe how they had her so drugged on them that she was like a zombie, no emotion, like an empty shell. She took them way too long without anyone around her noticing it was not a good thing! I don't know how to help her heal . I do know that eating real food , grown out of the ground is helpful. This is so hard to see her destroyed by these meds that she hasn't taken for a few years. I've heard of heavy metal cleanses, I want to learn about that and more to help her heal. She doesn't even realize she needs healing except when it gets really bad and she can't sleep because of things going on in her mind , very scattered thoughts, even music lyrics, Which is also something the meds were doing to her at the end of her taking it. But for the most part, she is not in reality and doesn't know it.

[@pearpo]

Asparagus is great for detoxing bladder. Other excellent foods are blueberries, artichokes, arugula, broccoli, brussle sprouts, celery,..It is important not to be too regimented with only detoxing with certain foods. Develop a regimen that works but if you feel after a few weeks it isn’t as effective or you develop other symptoms (tiredness) switch it up if it feels right. Like perhaps eat melon for a couple days, then diversify your diet to salads and protein. I hope that give you some inspiration to start.

[@pearpo]

And if you go nuts and eat an entire bag of beef jerky or sour candy, just go back to simple foods you like to rebalance your system.

[@sallycrawford2729]

​@@pearpoyeah I'm having a hard time getting her to do anything that I want her to do to help.

[@spilkafurtseva1918]

your way of speaking and turn of phrase, "your soul will forever bear the scars of that" made me cry...you have a way with words I'm telling you. i'm so glad you are getting better and speaking for myself, hearing the dark side of this stuff from another human being helps more than you may know. all the very very best and I will be following your channel

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@mirceaistrate1864]

How are you now?

[@sackstoracks]

@@adriangraham1868are you on medication ? I see your name everywhere

[@peggyowen3287]

Thank you for sharing this candid video. I don’t think I’d ever be able to talk about my experience in this way. I am too busy pretending to be something I’m not. I really appreciate the advice and I feel like there’s hope for me. I was on antipsychotics for about 7 years and I feel like my inner world is developing which is weird. My thing was always art and I’m only now deciding which avenue to go down with it upon years of indecision. It’s a big step when you accept where you are. I’m studying a masters in sociology and writing my dissertation about how we are only taught to treat the symptoms not the other things which make up our lives e.g. skills and life mastery. I think this can be very counterproductive. I’m really struggling to write my dissertation because of what you said about internal monologue and concentration. Then I find myself working way too hard to get my life together at the same time. Your video has given me so much hope. Thank you x

[@russellbyt]

That’s a great subject for your dissertation! And obviously very personal. I know that makes any impediments to progress all the more frustrating. It’s great that you’re finding a path forward that doesn’t involve deeply absorbing the bad lessons others have learned and tried to pass on to you. This will lead to a life that’s so much more meaningful and well-lived. Stay hopeful. You’ve come a long way - and none of these current obstacles are going to stop you!

[@priyao5097]

Thank you thank you thank you so much for this video. I thought I was going off the rails. I kept trying to explain it to my family; “somethings WRONG. It’s like my mind is a hollow cave. I can literally hear it dripping.” I was forced onto antipsychotics because my brain went a little haywire due to narcissistic abuse. Now, I feel completely lobotomized as others have put it. I am thinking of starting patient advocacy groups and getting the words out there to doctors. Funny enough, my psychotic symptoms went away with the use of a GOOD therapist, one who empathized with me instead of calling me delusional. You have no idea how many people you’re helping with your videos.

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@Гермес-я6ю]

Hi! How are you today?

[@SHILLGATESCRYPTO]

how are you now?

[@CCALZ68]

BRAVO!!! AND CONGRATULATIONS.....YOUR A GODSEND AND I APPRECIATE YOUR YT CHANNEL!!! MY SPIRIT WAS LOW ENOUGH I SUBCONSCIOUSLY ABSTAINED ON MY OWN!!..TO FEEL IN-TUNE, STRENGTH, PASSION AND MORE CREATIVITY!!! IT'S A FEELING SO FABULOUS --ANY DRUG CAN'T REPLACE! WITH GOD'S HELP! THERE IS HOPE!! IMPORTANT TO DISCERN AND MAINTAIN POSITIVE INFLUENCES DURING THIS CRUCIAL FRAGILE TIME...ENDED UP NOT SHARING THIS DECISION WITH NO ONE!! ESPECIALLY FROM FAMILY!! I FELT LIKE I WOKE UP FROM A COMA AND AS YOU WORDED "A CHEMICAL STRAIGHT JACKET" THAT WAS HOLDING ME BACK!! FINALLY---- A FRESH START AND MY GLORIOUS LIFE IS BACK! THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!!✝️🙏 I'M SO THANKFUL EVERYDAY NOW!! ALSO YOU DIDN'T LOSE ANYTHING LIKE INTELLIGENCE ETC IT WAS PUT INTO A SUSPENSION THAT YOU DON'T REALIZE UNTIL A RUDE AWAKENING!! DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF AND CELEBRATE EACH DAY GOING FORWARD!! GOD LOVES YOU VERY MUCH!!! 2:11😊

[@russellbyt]

Thank you :) Congrats to you as well! So happy to hear your intuition led you down a better path and that you've reawakened all those core attributes of the soul. Much love to you!

[@seanodwyer4322]

connie- are you on a auckland library computer- ?????

[@dylo3801]

Thank you so much for your videos. I am helping my daughter recover from antipsychotics. She can't speak for herself at this point. You give me hope! So grateful......

[@adriangraham1868]

How does your daughter feel now that she is off medication?

[@SHILLGATESCRYPTO]

how is your daughter?

[@infiniLor]

This is such a good contribution, Russell! Thank you so much for your honesty, vulnerability and integrity in sharing this very gently pragmatic encouragement. That really hit when you said you stopped journaling for fear of somebody finding it and finding out what's really going on for you (and possibly using it against you?) - I came up with a solution to that worry: I fully fill out each page about 3x (often over more than a single session), rendering it absolutely illegible - for me the important part is just getting it out, and since I very rarely ever feel any desire to re-read my rants, this works really well

[@infiniLor]

@@russellbyt ha! Funny you should say that - I've ended up doing some very cool scratchy drawings on top of a few of those pages, prompted and guided by the piled up text! Really does end up being something of an art project. 🙂

[@juleslund1515]

The Akathisia, among other horrific things, from taking various kinds of anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and benzodiazepines over the past 25 years destroyed both my mind and body

[@thedre8295]

My love goes out to you man, thank you for making this video

[@tjzmusic]

Very relatable, memory shot, creativity decreased

[@ankonez4595]

In my experience, I have also lost the ability to feel emotions. Almost like my instincts are dulled. My intelligence and memory took a hit as well for sure. Did you have the same problems with your emotions and memory? Did those come back as well, if you did?

[@teceiraz8251]

Exactly like I have been feeling and I've been off lexapro for almost 2 months. Its very scary and your not alone.

[@kingkongjjs]

@@teceiraz8251 lexapro is a floroquinalone And has awful wd symptoms U have to watch what you eat and drink Many things can destroy your healing process. I'm just over a year after my medication and still having many problems What issues are you dealing with atm ??

[@MyCraftyMind4U]

Going through this myself. I’m sorry you are too.

[@tempusnostrumest]

it's basically chemical lobotomy

[@adriangraham1868]

@@MyCraftyMind4U how do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@user-sc1es4wz4g]

Yeah I come off very slow compared to when I'm not on meds. Plus I have such a flat affect that it scares people. Hang in there my fellow psychotics.

[@Byrial]

Im also one of those that really suffer if i touch an anti~psycotic. To me doing it only for a week left me feeling like the lifeforce had been sucked out of me. I wish someone could have just told me «hey this poison is likly to eat haf your brain and its going to be hard growing it back», instead ive been depressed for 6 weeks and want to my life back even if it that was hard to. Thanks for sharing, i wish some real science on those drugs were invested in but that would probably shut down the business and too much money in that game.

[@Byrial]

I initally didnt want to take any medication but was kinda fooled into it in the heat of the moment. But i was lucky to get off it pretty fast. Still im impressed how muchd amage it wss able to do. I think we all react very differently to psych meds its in no way agreeable with my chemistry. I get the idea is to switch off the brain but i was more bothered with low energy and zyprexa depleted that last bit of energy reserve. However i got better therapeutic tools myself that will help me back over time (allthough the meds seem to depotentiate other beneficial interventions aswell)

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@Byrial]

@@adriangraham1868 It can only get better. I think parts of my mind was lost rather permanently but biology work to regulate itself over time and when metabolism returns i think the mind also become more alive again....

[@MCcLc23]

@@ByrialDamn. This makes me feel like shit and it’s not your fault. I also took Zyprexa, but I took it for 10 months, that’s why. I took 7.5 mg for the first 2 months, then 5 mg for the next few months, and 2.5 for about the last 4. I’ve been off of it for a little over 2 months now and the reasons I got off of it were due to loss of intelligence and memory problems, and inability to think clearly. I’m worried I’m fucked for life.

[@Frobe8]

I’m in such a dilemma because I cannot function due to anxiety and depression but also hear these stories about meds and I don’t know if I should get help or that would just make me worse in the long run. I hope there’s better solutions for people in the near future.

[@juanzavala9023]

It will make you worse. Suffer in silence. It will eventuually subside naturally. I wish I heard those words.

[@miriambochenek9083]

Big Pharma just want one thing...and one thing only...Money And to get the MONEY they create a million of people sick ...for life Young age to late life. And the money is streaming to their pocket without any further efford

[@sackstoracks]

What’s the update ? Please tell me you didn’t decide to get on meds, this is NOT the way you want to go. There are natural things you can take or do that’ll help eliminate or reduce your anxiety and depression. The first thing is to identify the cause of your depression/anxiety, why are you feeling that way ?

[@Frobe8]

@@sackstoracks I did not get on meds, but also as much I don’t believe in meds, I also don’t believe in using “natural things” to heal. Tbh no one knows how to heal the mind and if someone claims otherwise they’re either lying or ignorant.

[@octahedric3481]

Please don't do the meds. Seek another way, there's always another way. They made me take these things uninformed and against my will, and I just wish that someone would have warned me or my family about the kind of damage that these things do to your body.

[@beckyc5495]

You are amazing Russell. Someone gets me, and is healing; gives hope to this girl who is still tapering & riding the turbulence of withdrawal. Someone is able to put words, I desperately try to, to the hell that's happening inside. Has me teared up😭🤗 Thank you, thank you. God has blessed me through you!

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@krishnamayimarianni8026]

What a fine person you are sharing your life's journey and with psych drugs. It is helpful.

[@mckitty4907]

"how lacking you are in the thinking department" -that was pretty funny lol. But I am hoping I get better as well, these meds killed everything that I am, and it is really traumatising

[@russellbyt]

One of the most terrifying things about all this is that worry we have that what we’re experiencing is permanent. Thankfully it’s not. It can take a frustratingly long time to recover what we’ve lost, but it does come to us back over time.

[@mckitty4907]

@@russellbyt yes, thank you. I have been fighting to find the will to stay, it is so hard not knowing if it is permanent or not. If I may ask, did you also regain the ability to feel romantic thoughts again? I can not feel anything of the sort anymore and feel like it may be permanent. You don't have to answer, it's okay if you don't want to

[@russellbyt]

@Mc Kitty I don’t mind answering at all. The ability to feel romantic feelings did return. Not all at once. But it gradually came back during the post-taper period. That’s basically how it played out for everything that had been lost. The passing of time has played a such a huge role in the healing process.

[@sharonjensen3016]

My anger towards the medical profession will never die. But it's not just anger I feel. I'm disappointed too. Last time I checked, it was 2023, not 1923. Yet attitudes towards mental health haven't changed at all. Medical professionals need to do better. Until they do, I intend to stay away from them, and anyone else who has suffered no thanks to them should too.

[@KanishGiri-fv4vd]

Your channel is the reason that I am getting hope for living

[@russellbyt]

It’s going to take some time but things will eventually start to improve. So don’t give up!

[@KanishGiri-fv4vd]

@@russellbyt thank you Sir You are such a good person god bless you 🙏

[@matraiildiko5740]

Dear dear Russell, thank you for the positive message.

[@LafayetteParisa]

thank you. this gave me some hope that I maybe can return back to my more functional self. really, this helped a lot.

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@LafayetteParisa]

@@adriangraham1868 when I got off of them for about 6 months my mental state (mania) got worse, it is waay harder than I thought but I still got a lot of faith and I’m working hard on it.

[@adriangraham1868]

@@LafayetteParisa any updates?

[@LafayetteParisa]

@@adriangraham1868 I went from 4 different types of pills to "just" lithium, I take the smallest dosage and it doesn’t make me dizzy or anything. My new neurologist is in good spirit that I can live a life without it, we’re working on it. Thanks for asking. Hope you’re doing good 2.

[@adriangraham1868]

@@LafayetteParisa I’m doing alright I’m off the medication I just hope I return to my normal self again

[@amaeveee]

thankyou for this, made me feel a lot less alone and more hopeful about things that I would normally just blame myself for, great vid 👍

[@russellbyt]

Thank you :) Happy I could help!

[@amaeveee]

no worries, just seeing u articulate yourself well despite what you’ve been through gives me hope ! :)

[@tyrel-fg7zf]

​@@russellbyt Sorry to tell you Russel my brother died from klopomin

[@russellbyt]

@tyrel Oh Tyrel, I’m so sorry for your loss! Sending so much love to you and your family. What happened if you don’t mind me asking? Was he tapering?

[@MyCraftyMind4U]

Exactly what I’m going through... I needed this. 🙏🏻 thank you and I’m only 1/3 through your video. Wow!

[@opticaltoxin079]

I'm in a toxic relationship with my family who gave me my stepdads olanzapine when I was 7 (the one by Patriot) according to my brother because I talked about my teacher I wanted to be adoped by who had guns. Fast forward to 24 y.o. with their smear campaign they got me thrown onto it again and I definitely feel it has diminished my mental and cardiovascular health

[@John-wb2kk]

"Dopamine enables successful cognitive control in prefrontal cortex. Dopamine receptors in prefrontal cortex control three key aspects of cognitive control - gating, maintaining, and relaying. The two major dopamine receptor families, D1R and D2R, assume complementary roles in cognitive control." D1R and D2R are antagonized on psych drugs. or neuroleptics. something that they told me is supposed to make you think clearly.

[@budda777pl]

Solian (Amisulpride) supposedly is an agonist of D1, but it sucks nevertheless. The key is to find a reasonable doctor, that knows that for one to develop as a human being, these drugs must be taken for short periods of time only. Now I am tapering and slowly begin to feel normal again. Once I am done I will report about my success :). But I tried many times in the past and I know that it is not easy without proper knowledge and/or supervision.

[@s.briand4640]

On the Chemical Imbalance Hoax Neuroleptics, so called "anti-psychotics," do not exert their therapeutic (pharmacological target) effects on psychosis (positive symptoms of schizophrenia) by rectifying a brain abnormality, such as a chemical imbalance, nor do they target any physiological process that produces the positive symptoms of schizophrenia, but rather neuroleptics suppress symptoms of schizophrenia, by a profound slowing up and dampening down of mental processes by putting a brake on dopaminergic neurotransmission - they arrest natural brain function. Neuroleptics are major tranquilizers, neurological inhibitors, suppressants and depressants of the central nervous system. Neuroleptic means "nerve seizing". Neuroleptics work to treat psychosis by disrupting normal brain function in the reward (mesolimbic) pathway, and in the mesocortical pathway - connecting to the frontal lobe (the part of our brain that makes us human). Neuroleptics do not exert their psychosis-treating effects by targeting an underlying disease process or brain abnormality, such as a chemical imbalance, i.e. dysregulation of the dopaminergic neurotransmitter system = overactivity of dopamine neurotransmission in the 4 dopaminergic pathways: mesolimbic (reward), mesocortical (humanity), nigrostriatal (target of antiparkinsonian agents), and tuberoinfundibular (hormones, i.e. prolactin). Neuroleptics seize the central nervous system, dampen down dopaminergic brain activity, suppress function by occupying 70% - 90% dopamine D2 receptors. Neuroleptics are first and foremost psychoactive drugs. Their psychoactive effects (their global alterations of physical and mental states) treat symptoms of schizophrenia. Neuroleptics are not antidotes for psychosis. Neuroleptics are not disease-specific treatments in schizophrenia/bipolar, but rather mind altering agents producing such mental and physical alterations that suppress symptoms (superimpose upon the symptoms that they are treating). Neuroleptic effects (target and side effects) may be useful in treating (dampening down) psychotic states, but that depends on the context. They do not exert their therapeutic effects by reversing or rectifying a disease process, nor are they curative, they cannot cure psychosis, nor prevent, nor decrease the probability that one will become ill or lessen the severity of the illness (quite the contrary!). The effects of a neuroleptic can be useful, but that depends on the context, and it is not the same as fixing an underlying brain abnormality (i.e. bio-chemical imbalance). The chemical imbalance theory of schizophrenia/bipolar carries no credibility in the modern psychiatric research establishment. The researchers do not find there to be a lesion (pathology) in the dopamine neurotransmitter system that is the primary cause of schizophrenia/bipolar. The chemical imbalance theory of schizophrenia/bipolar is a hoax.

[@s.briand4640]

@Tadgh Meachir Absolutely not. My mind has been assaulted by far too many chemicals. It needs time and sleep and healthy fuel. I have been recovering 'myself' this way.

[@mitch5222]

@@s.briand4640 what meds did u take?

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@marlintoma8414]

I wish you the best and the success in everything you do in your life

[@russellbyt]

Thanks, Marlin! I wish you the very same :)

[@wassimhajj2999]

Great video russell! Im glad u are progressing and ur cognition ability is coming back! Just wanna ask u is ur mood becoming better? What about the depression after meds? Are u able to enjoy things again? I hope u can tell us more and more about ur improvements especially things related to motivation and depression.. All the luck russel!

[@Dr_Mantis_Toboggan]

The first thing you said was that you didn’t read and that hit me really hard in my heart because that is the first thing I noticed is that I’m capable of reading again

[@russellbyt]

Glad you got it back! It’s such a meaningful recovery milestone :)

[@montesa9136]

I was on antidepressants for 30 years. I weaned off 2 years ago and I became completely depressed, anxious & dysfunctional. I have not improved one tiny bit in 2 years. I feel the damage is permanent. I'm thinking I have to go back on them in order to function

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@Beautifulsubshehe]

update

[@SHILLGATESCRYPTO]

how are you now?

[@mzbeansprout]

Thanks for uploading good quality videos about mental health.im just beginning to look into this field on KZbin and it’s generally speaking a lot of negative things uploaded here. I feel if you spend time looking into the positive side then mental health is easier to deal with. So thank you

[@JulieMary66]

My son has been off meds nearly 5 weeks after being on them for nearly 13 years (he is 30 now) and like you they have devastated his brain. He is also high functioning Autistic and that part of his wonderful intellligence is in shreads. Your video is my go to to continue the hope in his recovery, thank you. No other video comes close, not even Doctors that are against these drugs. Your video is real life and I love the way you cover every normal angle of these drugs and what they do. I will continue to watch. Thank you. You say in your vids, if you are still with me and basically hope I haven't bored you. They are totally gripping!

[@russellbyt]

So sorry for what y’all are going through. But I’m glad my videos are giving you hope. One of the reasons I make this content is to show that even though it can take a lot longer than we’d like - we do _eventually_ recover. Thank you for your kind and supportive words regarding the videos! It really helps to hear it :) Much love to both of you.

[@jeanybradley5993]

Yes, I'm just staring in front of me. Not going out. I can't focus. I can't organize and plan anymore. Everything I want to undertake slips away and I end up in a depression.

[@jeanybradley5993]

@@russellbyt I'm still on them. I don't recognize myself anymore.

[@Snowflake1374]

Same. Im blank. Cant focus. Cant do anything. Difficult Thinking. Cant reach myself.

[@thelilliad]

Thanks for exposing the madness of this industry. #sicksociety

[@peacefuldonkey29]

Thank you, Russell. Your realism and gentle encouragement is so appreciated. 🙏💕

[@russellbyt]

Really happy to help!

[@matthewshankland4447]

It's scary. I'm considering tapering off my meds because I feel like they're robbing me of my intelligence. And to hear it could get worse before it gets better during the process, it terrifies me.

[@russellbyt]

It is scary, and there are plenty of horror stories out there (mine being one of them in a lot of ways), but learning as much as you can about the process beforehand will give you a much better experience. It won't guarantee it'll be free of suffering. There's still some unpredictability in how we'll respond to the taper and withdrawal symptoms can pop up despite our best efforts. But that's why it's so important to start slowly and not get in a rush. It gives us the best chance to succeed in the long term. You can check out my one of my recent videos called "2 Huge Resources for Coming off Psych Drugs Safely" to learn about 2 great resources for learning how to taper. Really helpful to visit those sites I mention!

[@kennethwayne6857]

"Our minds are our strengths". Yes!!

[@AliceRaynor24]

This is a really nice video. Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm 1.5 years off after 12 years from 14 to 26. I really relate to the whole writing aspect because I've also been struggling to write and just think. Some days are better than others. Hope you're doing well.

[@russellbyt]

Hey Katherine, Glad to hear you’re having _some_ good days. I know how hard and hopeless it can be at times, so I know what you mean about some being better than others. Thankfully the creativity and related things will come back eventually. That really helps us feel like it’s all worth it. It’s not easy for anyone, but it’s especially hard for those of us who kinda grew up on the meds, so just hang in there and keep making progress. Much love to you!

[@zeekay3205]

I'm so hurt that I didnt find this channel sooner. I've come to the same realizations but was totally alone and when I tried to explain... Tears slide for my old self with everything being brought back to mind so fresh with this video - I wish I found this sooner. Old me might have felt less alone (brain was totally cooked then no idea how I would have responded). Things got so bad I couldnt hide the deficits, and ppl I'd laid down my life for relished in my struggles. Such a bad time and place. I felt like it was all in my head and I was just a weak bad person - everyone echoed those sentiments 360° and I was either cooked or psychotic. I really appreciate your channel 😊❤🎉

[@russellbyt]

Hate you didn’t find the channel sooner but better late than never! I’m sorry you had to endure all of that. It’s a struggle so few would be able to comprehend. You made it through though and it’s something to really be proud of 🙌 😀

[@zeekay3205]

@@russellbyt Thank you so much for the reply. I'm glad to have the experiences under my belt - it makes me feel better able to understand, relate to or help people out. Your video was like opening a time capsule. You are so positive, gentle, understanding and well spoken. I'm surprised you don't have an even greater following. You should feel so proud of yourself - the vulnerability, strength and grace you show in these videos is downright touching and inspiring. The way through such a time is indeed the suspension of self-judgement, trading panic for peace, and being comfortable with lack of knowing (how long it will last, how extensive the affects, ubable to explain them or what to attribute the cause of to what). Presence of mind, radical self-acceptance, following your gut (even if it doesn't make sense to others or even yourself at times) for the sake of your health and happiness. Letting go of wanting to be understood, and put "having to understand everything" on pause. "Being" is better than "knowing". Follow up with small steps of doing what you can do from a place of loving yourself into healthy lasting change (process-oriented) as opposed to shaming and hating yourself into it (goal oriented) - healthy food, fresh air, laughter, tears, time together, time apart etc. The experience also gave me much needed clarity on the individuals in my life. Just moving out and I didn't need meds and lifelong worsening symptoms/side affects resolved themselves with a startling speed - it was the best health of my life until I opened the next chapter in the this lessons textbook that is my Life🙈😂 Recovery very much is possible. Healing, Health and Happiness is a manner of traveling and not a destination that needs the stamp of approval from anyone other than yourself. You have to give yourself permission to BE yourself however you may be showing up in that moment and thats quite alright. A lot of times the distress of the side affects of these medications adds on a stress that scatters us even further. Whether you scream or sit your house will still be on fire - might as well put your feet up and catch up on that anime you fell behind on until the fire department gets here 🤣 Life isn't "paused" because I found myself to be "sub-par" - I have learned so much. As long as you are experiencing, you haven't missed a day of you life. Such is a bit of what I have learned. Your emotional intelligence, depth and resilience is brilliant. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your channel!! ❤️😊🎉

[@russellbyt]

Really well said! And great advice for traversing the uniquely difficult terrain that this journey presents us with. Love the part about catching up on anime while the house is burning 🤣 If you’re ever interested in sharing your story and what you’ve learned with the channel, just say the word. It would be a Zoom interview format and you wouldn’t have to use your real name unless you want to. Just putting that out there as something to consider 😀 And thank you for your kind, supportive words about me and my work. It truly means a lot!

[@mazymonroe8749]

I had tears 'slide' for you and myself reading this and many comments here..... I hope you are now doing better than I am [22 cessation and nowhere near the 'normal' functioning person I once was.😢​@russellbyt

[@DuaneBrown-p2y]

Amazing! I was 20 whatever ended up in psych ward on antipsychotic drugs,,,dropped out of one college then another could not read and I loved reading etc. thinking,,,40 some ought years later still trying to put together what happened to me,,,😊

[@russellbyt]

For those of us who don’t respond favorably to the meds (and possibly psychiatric intervention overall), and there are a lot of us, they can really lock us into a state of suffering and immobility. We can’t make progress in our lives. It’s a real mess and doesn’t seem to be isolated to a small group of people. It’s great you’re starting to clean up that mess, and probably without much help from psychiatry and other prescribers who played such a huge part in causing it. Sincerely hope you’re able to get those capabilities back and make up for the lost time as best you can!

[@DuaneBrown-p2y]

Yep,,,❤ 😊

[@Lionsmaneisdangerous]

Same​@@DuaneBrown-p2y

[@BigCatMMA]

my brother struggles with psychosis, and the medication has really ruined him I can see it. Hes not as intelligent, hes alot slower. he cant enjoy the small things in life, he seems to just sit in his room all day and kind of just be numb and senseless. But the doctors have rejected the idea of getting him off medication..how were you able to speak to your doctor about getting off anti psychotics?

[@yes55504]

The real question is... when will everyone ban together and have these nasty drugs banned permanently?

[@NickyDeeMusic]

They are already banned in European Nations that harbor the very pharma corporation headquarters that criminally coerce Americans on to these toxins.

[@DeyvsonMoutinhoCaliman]

My girlfriend is taking anti-psychotics for 5 years by now. She is schizoaffective, and I kind of worry about what those medications can do in long term use. But also without them she spirals out of control. Once I took a single pill from her medication that she is not taking anymore, haloperidol, it paralyzed me for 3 days on a bed, I couldn't move my body for 3 days, it fucked me up so badly I got completely scared from those drugs. While she could take it and it was as if it was nothing to her.

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@brianwilliams6555]

The way you described your symptoms from Psych drugs is almost identical to my reaction to psychedelics. I lost my navigation skills everything I knew before psychedelics I remembered like an elephant but anything after I started using I can learn something one day and go party and forget everything I learned that next Monday

[@brianwilliams6555]

@@russellbyt I appreciate your sympathy buddy and just to verify how stupid I was I took my first sitter acid at 16 in in high school I mean during class and I got in the race scene in my twenties and thirties dinner is back every Saturday night but I eventually figured out I couldn't do it and I will just go to erase and drink the only psychedelic I can handle what Special K ketamine

[@brianwilliams6555]

Even with my experience I won't ever judge someone that enjoys it matter fact I'm jealous the people that I have a spiritual experience on psychedelics as far as my kids hell no and I probably would be Pizza you know what other person who gave it to them

[@brianwilliams6555]

@@russellbyt when I responded to you the other say the few too mini Klonopin and little liquor. I wanted to give you a better explanation. Get right wasn't just stop Adele exit I just can't handle any type of stimulants. Like the first couple times it would be a normal high I remember the first time that I had a crazy reaction to cocaine I'm having a conversation with somebody all of a sudden afraid make a contact I wasn't able to follow the conversation. My body was just can't drop where I wouldn't even move happy shaking and I was I had no idea looking at me Ciara shaking. So instead of the wisest thing and never do a drug again I figured out if I drank a bunch of alcohol I can handle it better when Dad stop working I would take a branch of Xanax. I could be in a motel go down to the lobby to get something to drink out of the soda machine and when remember what room I was in. As far as medication I'm taking everything out of the person there is. I have taken a few psych drugs prescribed for sleep. Let me finish up with something positive which is one of my closest friends it's been sober for five years he just bought me a gym membership and starting tomorrow I'm going to be working out with him everyday and eating like a health nut. So hopefully in a couple months I can give an update telling you how badass I'm doing. Take care and have a good one

[@sackstoracks]

@@brianwilliams6555how badass are you doing ? Tell me that you’re better my man !

[@brianwilliams6555]

@@sackstoracks I'm doing better..I appreciate you asking buddy

[@Skuplia]

A lesser known antipsychotic that's on the market is what has plagued me for as long as I can remember. I have tourettes syndrome and have been prescribed pimozide ever since I was 15. I'm 21 now and now that I live on my own without my parents I'm getting off them. I got off them last year and I can't remember too much of the first few months after getting off, but holy shit do I remember the summer right after it. Best summer of my life, I made a bunch of friends and my self confidence went through the roof. Everything was so alive, it was like waking up from a coma. I only went back on it because my parents were dicks and didn't want me ticcing loudly when I lived with them (January). I'm currently on week two or three of withdrawals and I have learned that anxiety is real and is a huge kick in the balls. But I'm learning ways to manage and cope with it just like I did last year. Thanks for the video man 🤘

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@Skuplia]

@@adriangraham1868 Back on an antidepressant, this comment was written while I was prescribed Vyvanse which I abused every day. This comment was masked with the euphoria I felt from that crap. I honestly miss the antipsychotic I was on, my tics have gotten out of control and i'm currently trying to find something to help

[@trondlorentzen4954]

Thank god. I see hope!

[@kristgo2001]

I know this is an older video but thank you for addressing this topic in particular. I worry about this a lot. I started meds in my 30s after a divorce so I know very well how much my intellect and cognition have changed for the worse. I have been a voracious reader my whole life and now I cannot enjoy some of my favorite books from my 20s - they are over my head. I've been tapering for 2.5 years and have at least 2 to go. Luckily, things have improved somewhat as my dose has decreased. I know there are hundreds of thousands of us suffering from both damage from these meds and struggling to safely taper them and reclaim their life and it is a tragic - best wishes in healing to all.

[@russellbyt]

It’s great that you’re already noticing some improvement! Regaining the ability to read, even something as simple as an entry in the “Goosebumps” series, is one of the highlights of recovery :)

[@lich7619]

Dude i speak a lot like your way of speaking.Like to an outsider it may seem like we re smart and just cant vhoose the right word out of many but in fact we re waiting for the word to come out.Not self pity i intend to get my intelligence back or try at least but felt like saying it so why not.Thank you for taking up the task of doing these vids.No kidding tho for all that you ve said all s so true ,it is personal like why are these even prescribed.I understood everything like spiritually disconected,cant write,read ,remember,couldnt have made this vidio 😂 and everything.im 10 months off and i ve gotten a little bit better in these.Still cant asses the exact damage tho,lacking in the sens of self and character and whatevs.i kinda had forgotten about this and school being online meaning that im not gonna see others outperform me in any possible way so idk ignorance s a bliss in this case.Anyways i intend to keep trying.Good luck everyone we ve been had but dont give up

[@allencollins6031]

Just going through your videos. Thanks man.

[@russellbyt]

Glad the vids are helpful! Just have hope that things will get better 😀 Much love.

[@GodFamilyFavor]

Insipiring and encouraging; thank you!! Currently on an antipsychotic and went through different antidepressants, recently was prescribed Vyvanse. But i feel flat, slow thinking, and just not myself. And I have a 2 year daughter, recently removed myself from an emotionally abusive relationship with her dad. So it has been a tremendous struggle, but God is good. I still have the inner voice that this medication is not for me, not for my body. So I’m taking myself off of it. I’m bracing myself for after affects. I just want to be able to spiritually connect again. I feel so impaired all the time. Blessings to you all.

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@-m7k0z7-9]

I'm not as sharp as I use to be; I'm only 2-3 weeks into antidepressants. I'm noticing I'm not like how I was before (having a huge brain ability to see different and multiple perspectives and understand them).

[@Franco-oy8si]

I took antidepressants, anxiolytics and antipsychotics for a while, but I quit because I was worse than before. (I was having panic attacks, I was aggressive, I didn't coordinate well when walking, I was alert all day, drooling, I gained weight, my vision was blurry, I had memory problems, etc.), It's been three months since then and I'm better, but I still feel dull and can't think or express myself as before. At least I don't have akhathisia now.

[@-m7k0z7-9]

@@russellbyt hey there. It's been 8 months; and days flew by. *I had a paranoid episode, like a ptsd for 3 days + FEAR; and aseizure at that time. After that I became unable to care for things I used to highly value (getting a college degree [I'm in a medical college]). And I'm like in denial that my academic ability has started to slip away, and my father and mother are pointing out that my performance has dwindled, and I see that and yet for some reason I can't seem to make it click in my head; to make fear of failing drive me for success. Like there is a very thin vale between reality and me. No psychosis, but slight delusions here and there (not severe and crazy, more towards logical) + decreased feelings experiences (anhedonia?). I was thinking of going to a psychiatrist, or a neurologist, but mg family think I'm just trying to have an excuse for my underperformance; if a zoloft or anything would enhance my senses of reality I would gladly take it (even though I was prescribed Zoloft like 5 months ago, but didn't take it). *My experience was like I was put on high doses of antidepressants; my senses were heightened like crazy (no hallucinations); it stayed there for a while, then I stopped the medications and my CNS crashed, and reality was less than normal levels as if I was out of it, mostly tired and anhedonic and careless.

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@oliversmith7820]

Thanks for the vids Russell, if it wasn't for people talking about their recovery I might give up.

[@russellbyt]

Happy to help, Oliver! I know how hard it is, but hang in there. It’s worth it.

[@dark7angel456]

Me too

[@anthonyd9426]

Another great one Russell! Been waiting for some vids from you! You didn’t disappoint

[@anthonyd9426]

Yep! Still tapering! Trying to accomplish a little every week. I’m in the brain dead/totally fried period of WD. These videos really help a lot

[@joanburbank3755]

I’m glad you pointed out that some people are helped by psych drugs. I was one who was improved, went back to school, have a great career and very stable. My life is no longer a roller coaster, my life before treatment was ‘insane ‘. I’m so grateful for my psychiatrist prescribing me correctly and helping me get my life in balance.

[@CREEKSTx3]

Did sex drive return ?

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@Cicutrri]

men the only thing i see good in our experience its the capacity to understand how people talk about things who dont are capable of understand even medics... i take 2 years of antipsychotics and its a thing who some people want in my case i dont want that because i dont use any stimulant to pull me up on the process... so im here one year off meds and i notice only less pain but i dont have my intelligence back... this feels like natural selection we are brave bro xD thanks for the courage of talk about it because its something very personal and ugly to think about... hugs from the otherside of the planet

[@chg6365]

Hi Awake Thinkers, how is it today?

[@gabrielwiseman4955]

The NOLA city gov went powerful in stopping me from getting a college diploma or staying off of Psychiatry. I mean, they know it (the Psychiatry) negatively impacts my job or college performance and knew this since I was 14. When I was 12 I remember watching "Secondhand Lions." It's a story about a WW1 veteran's marriage to a Morrocan lady. Well, there you go. I never was able to find the Morrocan/Egyptian/Greek lady to date, and they brutally succeeded. I am now 29, and after age 30, American dating pool calls men over 30(damaged goods.) Meaning, dating is near impossible now. My income is commission, so idk. It just feels like that stuff was a powerful attempt to delete my existence without getting charged for crimes by using legal medical loopholes. Psychiatry is a danger to everyone in the United States. The damage it causes to people's lives is silent but deadly. It rips hearts, tears lovers away from each other(sometimes forever.) It's like a government solution to stopping love from happening to people.

[@obinnaeziamaka3262]

I get what u mean bout the love part coz u can't feel emotions no more or the feeling of having a crush on someone attractive

[@chg6365]

Hi Russ, thank you so much for posting this video and giving an opportunity to share experiences in this matter. I first got Seroquel (took for 2 months) and afterwards Paxil (took for 4 months). I am off both for almost 2 months. Without any disorder like Psychosis. I just felt really restless and couldn’t sleep, that’s why my doctor prescribed them. I still feel immensely lowered in my intelligence and feel trapped in myself. It is so hard to live with that. I cannot think, feel and it is hard to hide that every time from my surroundings. I really feel that I cannot endure this any longer. I am still going to work. But everyday is hard. I cannot deal with it....But I am so afraid to loose my job. - What can I do? How was it with your job? - I would love to connect to people who went or are going through the same experiences. Maybe you know where I can find groups like that? I am really happy to hear that you got back to your old self. I would like more success stories like that. I really don’t know how to handle all that. Every moment is hard… Sorry for my mistakes Greetings from Germany, Christina

[@chg6365]

@@russellbyt Hi Russ, thanks a lot. 🙏🏻❤️

[@adriangraham1868]

@@chg6365 how do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@nimcomohamed2858]

I took xeplion and I take 2 months its been hectic my brain is dump

[@Гермес-я6ю]

How are you today?

[@miriambochenek9083]

Christina you are not alone. You are going to be better You need some time and try to do something you like Walking through a park Biking Painting Cooking healthier meals Juicing or making every day smoothies to give your body and mind extra healing nutrients. . Broths are also good . And remember you also have God who is waiting for you to pray and ask . Praise and worship. Maybe join to a group of people who are of your interest. Stay strong

[@LaughingMan44]

Coming off SSRIs and it feels like I dropped 20 IQ points

[@russellbyt]

You’ll eventually get them back.

[@ShelbyClark-u5w]

I am so grateful to stumble on your channel. Your videos are so helpful. Thank you!!!

[@russellbyt]

Glad the vids are helping out!

[@semjomalek8919]

Thank you ! Greetings from Germany !

[@russellbyt]

Happy to help! I’m actually not _too_ far away from you. I’m in Hungary at the moment but hope to visit Germany someday. Maybe go for a ride on the scenic roller coaster in Oberammergau 😄

[@timwalters8797]

✌️ from Australia 🇦🇺🙏

[@DivisionOne_Dalton615]

Thank you bro this helps me know im not alone

[@johnherbert6497]

Thanks very much for your encouragement, unfortunatley l'm hospitalized long term with no chance of coming off. I'm forcibly drugged. But l still hope to come off slowly one day. I relate to your humanity, thank you again.

[@Shekina-0]

Yeah I can relate. Here in The Netherlands its called a Zorgmachtiging

[@LastLetterisZed702]

I'm a 46 year old male and I have been on prescription medication for the last 18 yrs. I trip over my own feet, I have trouble comprehending conversations, I forget ideas and thoughts within 10 secs. I fall down backwards in the shower multiple times. Lithium patients go for bloodwork 3 or 4 times a year. Constant changes in medication. Not one thing costs a penny.

[@russellbyt]

That's a horrible state to be in! Does your prescriber attribute it to your meds, or (wrongly) say it's because of your diagnosis?

[@LastLetterisZed702]

@@russellbyt Yes, my doctor is always careful of the type of medication and dosage he prescribes me. My injury occurred back in '91. I slipped head over heels and my head smashed on the mall parking lot. I was in an 18 hour coma. Considerably worse than a mild concussion. I always tell him whenever I fall down but he won't change the Zyprexa, Abilify, Lithium or Luvox. The doctor tells me I have to be more careful. He says that he can't distinguish between the head injury or pills that I am given for my falls in the bathtub or anywhere else.

[@michaellewicki1]

Good video. I know that psych drugs are like making me sleepy, more hungry and a little bit wetting my pants with urine. Also some parkinsonism I think. The sleepy part of the psych drugs is the worst inhibitor of success in my life. I dont like psych drugs and an utopia would be that there is a psych drug free way of helping those perceived as with a psychiatric condition.

[@ryanmartinez2876]

It sounds like you enjoy literature & writing. There is no way to express how much I believe you can write what you want to write and therefore express more fully what you want to express. I care for the comment section because although they are not experts in written communication & neither am I, they are here with a struggle we all share. I smoked copious amounts of marijuana as a teen and going into my twenties. I think it affected my mental health, specifically about psychosis. I’ve never been treated Ed with anti-psychotics for more than half a year, if even that long. As today I feel I could benefit from anti-psychs. Your enthusiasm about writing is clear, and dare I say sometimes a small push can help generate momentum. Have you tried writing prompts to provide you with a writing goal & writing “boundaries” so to speak, to help you write and stay oriented to the point? I’m thankful you created this video, it’s great help in my struggle with mental health.

[@russellbyt]

Hi Ryan, I’m glad you found the video helpful! I can’t remember exactly what I said about writing in the vid, but I’ve gotten better at getting the words on the page and staying focused on the point of the piece. Still got a ways to go, but it’ll come with time and more and more practice. Thanks for your comment. I wish you the best in your own life and in pursuing whatever you have the enthusiasm to pursue. And if that’s something you’ve lost, something so many of us here can relate to, then know that it will return someday. Whatever you’ve been through, and may still be going through, there’s always time to improve and heal. Much love to you!

[@dark7angel456]

Pyscotics made me feel really impaired.

[@zenmama979]

I can relate to not wanting to journal for fear of someone finding it or sugarcoating even to myself because it was hard to face how bad it was. In my case, my thinking did get better with more time off the meds. One day at a time for improvement. Taking the process to wean off the meds slowly is vital to be successful. I tried to rush getting off them when I first tried to titrate off and it was not a good outcome. Slow and steady titration.

[@russellbyt]

Glad your thinking has improved! And I 100% agree, not rushing the process is the way to go 🙌

[@matthewknapp9425]

its been hard on me. super mind fog. no sex drive. restless tiredness, eating felt like chocking in the throat sometimes, and I feel emotionless and driveless. this drug might be useful for some but this isnt for me. I respect your experience but mine has been so disheartening. i believe I may have been misdiagnosed too by doctors doing Forced Medication tactics.

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@mattexomoon7162]

hi russell, this video gives me some hope considering I've experienced the cognitive side effects of these meds, but i still fear for the future a bit. i was put on psych drugs because i was diagnosed as bipolar 1 and i was experiencing a manic episode. i was on seroquel at first, which actually didn't severely affect my cognition, other than make me feel like i was "drunk" at times. i still felt like myself though, i could still write and communicate in great depth. however, i ended up having delusions again, and went to the psych hospital for the first time in my life and was put on risperidone and other drugs that i don't recall. i just remember my perception of reality being so warped. it's hard for me to summarize. when i got out i was on 4mg of risperidone, doesn't seem like a high dose, but i remember it eventually really knocked me out. i was feeling so lethargic to the point i could barely do anything. even the simplest tasks were daunting and overwhelming--merely existing felt like a heavy burden. my psychosis was gone but i also noticed that my cognition was much worse. my dose was then lowered and i was able to feel somewhat normal, but i didn't quite feel like myself. something felt wrong, still does, but not as bad. i was then tapered off it at 0.25mg but i still felt i had a blank mind. it continued like that even after getting off it. obviously i still have thoughts, but it's not quite the same. it feels limited. i lose my train of thought more easily, and i don't know if i could even do a speech or have an in depth discussion or debate. i find myself dealing with some of what you mentioned in this video, even writing this comment is taking me a long time because I'm trying my best to think of what to say, and only so much is occurring to me at the moment. i found this video a few months back but i genuinely couldn't think of what to comment because nothing would occur to me, i can relate with the cognitive side effects and honestly i have moments where i fear i won't be able to do well again at the things i used to be proficient at. i used to write and articulate my thoughts and feelings in such great detail I'd be able to go on for hours expressing myself or conversating. now it feels like theres almost nothing to reference in my brain, like past experiences, memories, or ideas. my memory isn't as good, i will watch or read something and it sometimes feels like i remember nothing from it or that i don't understand it. i used to be able to draw detailed conclusions from them but now i feel like an idiot at times. i feel like something core to me died and i worry i won't be able to get it back. I got off the meds entirely since august, so it's been a few months. I don't think I was on very many meds, so I don't know if it's normal to still feel different. i really just want my brain back completely. i just hope things will get better. I've made some definite improvement and i find that i can still do things like make little doodles and paintings, but I can't help but feel that something still isn't right. it's so hard for me to articulate this stuff and it's really affected me because i feel like i only just exist to exist now and i often do things that don't require much brain power to distract myself from feeling dull or empty, feels like time is just passing me by and it hurts emotionally when i think about it. the beginning of this year was going so well for me, i started going outside more, reading more, journalling more(until i had my psychosis and was put on meds) i thought this year would be an amazing start to great changes in my life, i thought i was beginning to become something better, but it seems to be the opposite by some cruel irony, and i find myself yearning for my skills and abilities. i am only 19, so my experiences to these things are fairly new, especially considering they've all happened within the course of this year. it's still been rough though. i would have never guessed for the year to turn out this way. I'm a bit surprised i was able to write this much in my comment, but it's not that well written... i hope i was understandable enough.

[@russellbyt]

Hey, You did great with your comment! You’re very easy to understand. That’s a lot to go through at 19, and no doubt extra scary because that thought can creep into your mind that maybe things are over before they even got started. But I really believe you’ll be okay. It may take some time, and you’ll need to be patient with yourself as you regain your capabilities, but you’ll get there. The brain is very resilient. You have a great life ahead of you, not just a great year, and you’ll come out of this stronger and wiser and with a deeper knowledge of yourself and what you want from life. It doesn’t feel like it now, but really - it will all work out.

[@mattexomoon7162]

​@@russellbytthank you for your thoughtful reply! i appreciate it 🙏 i'll try my best to maintain hope, and gather up the courage to make more efforts towards improving. i've felt okay for the most part but it could be better, so here's to hoping it does! it's nice to see that you're actively responding to those going through similar issues. makes it feel a lot less alone, especially when hearing about your experiences as you mentioned in the video, like writing your abcs over and over, i remember doing that/doodling scribbles a few months back because there was just nothing going on in my head

[@Metalice74]

Hey Russell , I was on an SSRI for about 1.5 years. It was a strong one (Lexapro). My doc rapid tapered me over 6 weeks and by the time I found out what was wrong it was too late. Now I’m 3 years into WD and I haven’t even taken an aspirin. The first year was like a shock. Like “OMG , what have I done “ Year two is when the Akathisia started , which waxed and waned. Now after 3 years the akathisia is worse all of a sudden. I know we’re all different with different timelines but I wanted to ask you if you’re Akathisia waved in and out with different intensity at different times in the non linear fashion ? Also are you completely free of it or do you still get it now and then.

[@sangeetalambh6389]

Jeff how r u now

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@Buhofree]

Do you try with cbd Oil?

[@MayaMachina-n8s]

My mom went into psychosis in 2017 and to this day, I still remember her harrowing scream as she was being escorted by the EMTs to ambulence. The worst thing about it all is since then, my depression gotten to a point where I'm taking in fluexotine and on Ritalin for ADHD (been on these for a few months now). I pray for the day where I'll be able to structure my life without needing to play god with my own mind!

[@russellbyt]

Oh, wow - that’s a lot to go through! It makes sense that it would be so difficult to handle. So hard for both the mind _and_ the heart. But I really believe that the day you’re praying for will arrive. Just stay hopeful and believe that when the time is right, you _will_ find the best path forward. Wishing you and your mom, and everyone else in your family, all the best!

[@BobbL-tf3me]

I feel a piece of my mind is permanently gone.

[@russellbyt]

One of the great tragedies of this experience is that so many of us feel that way during and after coming off meds, and it _can_ take a while to notice any positive changes. Like most folks, I’ve experienced a dramatic improvement as more time has passed. It’s been a night and day difference. It’ll only help so much to hear it but that should be your experience too, given enough time.

[@brandalyn1973]

Thank you. I need to hear this today!

[@russellbyt]

Really happy it helped!

[@shamaraLthomas]

Thanks so much for sharing your story! Were you able to work during your recovery or when you were taking psych meds? I’m having the hardest time functioning but want to stop laying around.

[@shamaraLthomas]

@@russellbyt thanks so much for the encouragement! It’s been almost impossible to work and I’ve been beating myself up about it.

[@shamaraLthomas]

@@russellbyt I hope you fully recover from COVID soon☺️

[@chg6365]

Hi Samara how do you feel today?

[@obinnaeziamaka3262]

@@shamaraLthomas hey Samara how do you feel now? And pertaining lying around , do u work now? Or u letting yourself do more of healing

[@CudaWudaShuda365]

These real life stories are an awesome break from "reality tv"

[@justshirley1209]

hi, i appreciate the video you made it gave me hope. ive been off invega sustena ( the monthyl injection ) i had it for 1 year and a half. it was forced uppon me without my consent, i gained 60 pounds ( which im slowly losing so its fine ) but i used to be super intelligent, i reasoned and always thought logicaly. ever since ive been on this medication i feel totaly and utterly brain dead. i feel like a 13 year old has more intellect then me. ive been off it for 2 months and i dont see any difference. so i was wondering how much time did it take you once you were off it to get your intellectual capacities back. like what should i expect? i know everyone is different. but you how much time aproximately did it take you? thanks in advance! also, if i eat more then 800 calories i gain weight the next day. if i eat 1200 calories i gain around 1 pound. if i eat 1500 calories i gain around 2 pounds and and at 2000 calories ( which is suppose to be what a woman my age eats daily ) i gain 3 pounds the next day. their seems to be a problem with my metabolism. i dont know if youve ever heard about this, if you did do you know if it gets back to normal after you stop medication? i appreciate you taking the time to read this. thank you so much

[@justshirley1209]

@@russellbyt wow thank you so much for taking the time to reply! i really appreciate it

[@simsim5919]

Hi are you feeling any better? I heard it can take 8 months for invega to leave your system. I was forced also on abilify injections, I have 2.5 months to go before it leaves my system but I'm starting to worry I'll never feel my normal self again.

[@adriangraham1868]

@@simsim5919 how do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@adriangraham1868]

How do you feel now that you are off medication?

[@simsim5919]

Hi have you recovered from the injections?