I Almost Destroyed My Marriage.

[@LisaBevere]

What's the biggest challenge you've faced in your marriage?

[@brooklynstabile8957]

Being married to someone who is unreliable and has trouble truth-telling. Only Jesus sustains us.

[@zedinoseyie]

Same! Best behaviour to work place and worst to home. Really struggling not to harbour bitterness and make each day a brand new day, no memories of yesterday.

[@cutenobi]

I think my biggest issue currently in my marriage is my attitude towards my mother in law. My husband does well with putting us first; I’m just frustrated that she feels entitled and tries to control my actions.

[@777meeka]

In this episode you discussed a woman you met, who chose to stay with her husband after he was caught soliciting a male police officer. This woman says God told her she would be doubly blessed if she stayed with him and restored him. Can you help me understand where in scripture God tells women it is their responsibility to restore their husbands? Thank you!

[@smitapinto3755]

My friend found her husband cheating on her. Leaving her culture and religion for him,she came and managed his culture and she became Christian for him. 21 years of love ,now she is hurt. Want to stay in marriage but Terribly hurt and also leave where there is no repentance and still blaming her for finding him cheating at her..what she can do now

[@addrianlove]

My story is similar to the one you described. My husband was abusive, anger problems, athiest who belittled me and then caught with prostitutes that he was seeing for more than half our marriage. God offered me to leave, or to save his life. I chose to be obedient. God told me the night I found out to wash my husband's body. As much as i did not want to touch him, i did... and that act broke him and turned him to the Lord. He knew there must be a God because no way could i do that under my own power. He is now saved, spirit filled, leader in mens group, we are helping to counsel other couples and we have a marriage i could have only dreamed of. There is hope.

[@hannahonovwakpor6316]

Wow this is such a powerful testimony!

[@bernadettejohn3055]

Amen 🙏

[@ezziba8240]

Jesus is so amazing! He blesses us beyond all measure, and it's clear when you let Him run with your life and watch what He does. Thank You Jesus for saving our lives and thank You for never failing in Your love. ❤

[@marissavallejo503]

Oh my goodness your post made me cry…all glory to God!

[@janinebasson4477]

With man this is impossible bit with God ALL things are possible 🙌🙌

[@dani.m-s3r]

I’m standing and fighting for my marriage. Lisa your book has inspired me so much because it speaks to my fighting spirit. The problem was I fought with my husband instead of fighting the real enemy. The lord has told me to stay and that he will bless our future double fold. It has been the most painful thing I’ve endured and yet the most amazing because as I have surrendered to the Lord in this time of hardship He has completely renewed me and my relationship with Him. Now I’m praying for my husband to be restored because he has walked away from God, church and family and is isolating himself. Please pray with me for Holy Spirit to convict his heart. His name is Jonathan. Thank you

[@rachelmarie777]

Praying with you. I was right there with you- fighting with my husband instead of fighting with the enemy. I reminded myself of the friend of Lisa’s- making a case for divorce in my head. But God is faithful - if we allow him to speak to us and listen- He will show us what to do.

[@Normitaaaaa]

I know this feeling because I’ve been there. But hang on to the promises of God. If He said to you what he said, HE WILL keep his promise in His timing. Continue your time with the Lord, in self renewal, in prayer and fasting. Let your husband and children see the changes in You. God will provide and follow through! Read Ezekiel 37 and Psalms 46:10. God Bless you, sister.

[@Roccity17]

Lisa, u being as open with the obstacles u and john faced has motivated me to work on myself for my marriage;; i dont have married friends yet and so i outsource my discipleship from youtube couples;; thank u for sharing with us;; a healthy marriage seems more possible than ever before.

[@BenjimenAnderson]

My wife has left of over 40 years left a year ago. We are still married and I believe God can reunite us. She left when I rescued my heroin addicted daughter who had been on the streets for 15 years and was ready to come home. No matter how long it takes I'll wait for my wife to join us. My daughter is doing great after a year living with me at home and working through her probation. Ptl!

[@melissaleonard1168]

Praying and standing with you! Don’t give up!

[@100HOLYGHOST]

Divorce is something you go through not something you are. ~ Lisa Bevere Epic!!

[@GracefulHomemaker]

Thank you ladies for this!!! Just this morning my thoughts to God was, “Father l, every time I look on KZbin, I feel like everything is pointing to separation/divorce. I just want to see something different please!” And here is this video today!! God is so amazing 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 Thank you for your obedience ladies. God bless you all!!

[@Henrylovesyou]

You forgot about psychological abuse. It doesn't have to be sexual or physical abuse, to be abuse. Reactive abuse from narcissistic abuse, is the worst form of psychological torture. If my parents divorced when i was a child, that would have saved me a life of extreme emotional pain and suffering. Staying with a psychologically abusive partner is NOT helping the kids. To leave such a monster would have been protecting your kids. My siblings and I were all sacrificed, bcuz my mother never had the "heart" to leave him. He was always more important than our emotional and mental health. Narcissistic abuse IS torture. Staying with a narc will have grave consequences for the children involved. I hate it how it's always overlooked.

[@glendaschilder3048]

Mine was all 3 kind of abuse..I had to get out to be safe ❤

[@DorothyCorner-g7m]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm in the middle of divorce with my narsissistic husband. Even after all the narsissistic abuse I still feel very guilty about this choice. But your comment makes me realize that this will save my 1 year old son a life of abuse and will give him a chance to grow up in a safety.

[@7779311sassy]

Thank you for giving me the courage to dream again in my marriage. My dreams died long ago and I was willing to stay and have a mediocre marriage. But thank you for inspiring me to take power back and not wait on him to change first. Thank you ❤

[@nwanyibuifeobiako162]

Thank you so much for sharing your marriage story Lisa! It is such an encouragement to me as a wife of almost 6 years. Watching from Nigeria🇳🇬

[@bunny_0288]

When my husband and I got married we both went into it saying that divorce is not an option. That is a fundamental value that we both share. Loyalty and keeping the vows we made to each other and to God are more important than our temporary feelings. We use our feelings to determine if we need to make changes to make things better. And because we know divorce isn't an option, we both put more effort into making our marriage great. When we have problems we figure out the root issue and come up with solutions. We prioritize our marriage over everything else. We have a date night almost every week. Even when we had almost no money. It might be having a picnic with food from home. Or just a coffee date if we couldn't afford to go out for dinner. It isn't about what we do. It's about the quality time. For our anniversary, all but one year we have gone on some sort of getaway. And we only didn't go anywhere that year because we had just bought our first house and were barely moved in. So we did a staycation instead which was really fun! For our getaways, we used groupon deals. We found cheap places. Whatever we could afford at the time. We used tax return money for it or saved up. Because that time is important. To relax and reconnect.

[@angelcraig7480]

I am one of those that God gave an option to, that I could pray for my husband and stay faithful, even when he wasn’t, or I could be at peace moving on with a divorce. I knew He was telling me that remaining faithful would have the greater blessing. So I am over a year into interceding on my husband’s behalf, and for our marriage. Restoration is a work that God has to do, and I’m waiting for how He’s going to work all this out. In the meantime, I have learned God’s faithfulness through everything. I think that is part of the blessing. 💜

[@Presilia_M]

As a woman who wants to get married one day. This was helpfull. Thank you!❤

[@cristin8853]

Thank you for addressing this. I am going through a divorce because of child abuse and adultery on my ex spouse’s part. I still hold guilt for ending that marriage, but it did not honor God.

[@rachelmarie777]

Do not be guilty- that’s a lie- Jesus forgives ❤

[@bcnotpc659]

Jesus said that adultery was the only justifiable reason to leave. Don’t feel condemnation that is from Satan

[@ascott4502]

You did the right thing. God loves you more than the institution of marriage. ❤

[@rachelleruotolo]

Hi Lisa, thank you for sharing the plate story. I love your fight for female podcast and appreciate how real you are and what you are sharing is very important.

[@nikkiwurn3921]

Coming up on 11 years in December and no matter how I try, it feels hopeless. I am trying to keep my gaze on Jesus, but every day feels like a minefield. Jesus, please help us! 💔💔💔💔💔💔

[@landerosee5264]

I feel the same way. No matter how hard I try, it seems like I will never do or be enough to be a priority. My tears and emotional pain are simply "drama" in his eyes.

[@bunny_0288]

​@@landerosee5264 I'm so sorry you're struggling and hurting. I've been married for 14 years, and like she said in the video I do feel like I am doing marriage well. I'd like to offer some encouragement and some lessons that God has taught me. 1. It is not my husband's job to make me happy. It's my job. I find my happiness by spending time with the Lord, spending time with people I love and care about, consuming positive and encouraging content, working out, having hobbies, etc. When I fill my life with good things it takes the pressure off of him needing to fill that up. Think about when you met him. Are there things you have stopped doing that you used to love? Does your life revolve around him? 2. I am not responsible for anyone else's behavior except my own. Meaning I will try my best to be kind and loving regardless of other people's actions. I am far from perfect with this, but just by making an effort and doing this the majority of the time it has made a huge impact. I am only accountable for my own behavior and other people are accountable for theirs. I do my best to be a good wife because that is what God has called me to be. I try my best to submit to my husband and to make his life better and more peaceful. To build my house up instead of tearing it down. I pray for my husband. I go to God if my husband hurts my feelings or if something is bothering me instead of creating a big fight. I realized a lot of the conflict in our marriage was me starting arguments because my feelings were hurt. And instead of expressing hurt, it came out as anger. 3. Thinking of my husband and I as a team working against whatever problem we may have. It's us against the problem. Not us against each other. We are not adversaries. We are teammates. And sometimes we disagree, but we have the same goal. We want a happy marriage. 4. Forgiveness. Love keeps no record of wrongs. And this is a tough one. It's hard to forgive and not bring up all the times he has screwed up or hurt you. But how would it feel if God did that to us? If God held all of our mistakes and offenses against us? I try and remind myself of this when the temptation to bring up the past comes up. And again I'm not perfect. My marriage isn't perfect. But it is happy. And I don't know your dynamic at all, but are you always waiting for him to plan things? I've learned that sometimes I need to be the one to plan something romantic. And sometimes when you start doing the right thing and behaving how you want to be treated, things start getting better. It's like in 2 Peter (I think) where it talks about wives winning over their unbelieving husbands without a word. Simply with their actions. Our attitudes, actions, and behaviors can be a positive or a negative influence in our homes. At the end of the day you can't change him. You can only change yourself. But amazing things can happen when you do that. When you let go of your own pride and your own hurt and learn to love the way Jesus did. And it's hard and you will mess up, we all do. But it really does make a difference.

[@ascott4502]

Yall LEAVE!! Women, you don’t have to suffer through a marriage with a man that does not honor his vows.

[@healthynut239]

The hard part for me is letting go of the expectation of him to not be fallen. Which shows my lack of compassion… and actually shows my in ability to Love as well. Yes… he does this this and this and probably 30 other things and yes, it hurts and yes, I’m crying… but am I crying because his brokenness and lack of going to God is falling on me? Then that is sad and I should feel sad for my man and his distance from God. God is helping me realize that this is my issue as well and that my mindset is wrong towards my man and something God is trying to renew in me and maybe help me see that my expectations are not real and need to be surrendered(which is a wrestle as it hurts to let go of them)…. And He wants to give me that realness by listening to Him and connecting with Him first… He has to renew my mind and give me the ability to Love unconditionally. That’s where my freedom and peace will be Is letting go of expectations because God’s expectations are the only ones that really matter and I am start to understand that this is our surrender as Christian women… letting go of what we think our man should be and letting God renew our minds to Love unconditionally, as He does towards us when we fall short towards Him,… Otherwise I’m just as guilty as my man… cuz not Loving is not Loving. Almost like Abraham had to lay his son in the alter- we have to lay our view of what our man should be on the alter and give that to God and let God raise him up in His timing to His expectations and THEN we will have the Love from our man that we’ve really deep down been searching for… but we have to let go of our view and let God implant His view into our minds….. aaaand it hurts.. lol…. But I do see that the more steps I take towards listening to God here and surrendering the more I am healed and the more peace I have and connection with my Heavenly Father.. which is the first Goal, right? It’s been a wrestle for me. So I’ve been wrestling with God to give me the ability to Love unconditionally. And I agree with Lisa… abuse and affairs are a factor that changes whether one should stay or not for sure… and God would guide one there too… but if this isn’t the case… then my only goal should be to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness… then all these things will be added to me and I will have the peace that passes all understanding. I will never find true peace in my man. I need to be searching for Him not him. And I’m saying this after many tears and much sadness of being distanced and vented on by him. This is his brokenness. Am I going to choose to Love because that is what God requires of me and what is best for my soul and for healing…? Or am I going to return evil for evil? Am I going to treat him the way that he treated me? If I only love those who love me than I am no different. If my Love is conditional than this is a sign that I, too, need the Heavenly Physician’s Power working in my mind…. Which then would enable me to have compassion on my man’s weakness rather than looking down on him and me feeling like a victim. It sorta makes us on the same page as we both need a Savior cuz not Loving is not Loving… even if we are doing it differently. Sorry for the length… but honestly, I needed to hear it along with whoever else might. Love you ladies and praying for God true peace and strength in our lives. ❤

[@amberkanoe]

Always so much wisdom from the Lord through the Bevere’s. Thank you!

[@erica2280]

I’m not married yet but you share so much invaluable wisdom and advice. Thank you for your content ❤️ I shared with my sisters who are married. I hope they can learn as much as I have from you.

[@joey.jordan]

The comment about fighting together was so powerful Lisa... wow

[@joey.jordan]

All so fruitful - this blessed me so much! Thank you for sharing ladies!!

[@I-amVanilla]

I'm going to share this. May God save abundantly, marriage and family, in Jesus name, Amen

[@laurenallen852]

I have been married to my husband for a little over a year. This is my first marriage and his second. This gives me so much hope and a fighting spirit to not “give up” just because we have conflicts and triggers with eachother - it truly feels like a constant mirror being held up to one another of our greatest gifts and greatest flaws. Each time we move through conflict and into repair, we feel more bonded and sealed in covenant than ever. It’s such a beautiful unfolding of our hearts that have become one.

[@Kat-fw5jo]

I've been married for 9 years, no unnecessary fights.. 1 year in marriage and fights? Very concerning

[@marissavallejo503]

@@Kat-fw5jono it’s not concerning, every couple is different. As long as they make the Lord the center of their marriage and abide in Him, nothing is impossible!

[@LearningwithDanessa]

Please pray for my marriage I want to walk away . Hearing what you’re saying to seek God for me I’ll try it. I just don’t know what to do

[@midlifemom1008]

❤I will pray for you!

[@ruthmaldonado7374]

I will be praying for you as well. God is able! Please Pray. Ask the Lord to give you the answer and direction. Don't do anything until you hear from Him! He will respond!

[@SusieBound4Heaven]

PLEASE try the following: Get yourself somewhere where you can have REALLY quiet. I mean the least amount of "outside noise" as possible! Cryl out to God in your spirit (and out loud if necessary!) Ask Him for wisdom. Ask Him for discernment. Ask Him for revelation and insight. Then sit quietly and LISTEN to what He tells you AND WRITE IT IN A JOURNAL! Do this and keep doing it for at least 2 weeks! After the two weeks, take a good long look at your marriage. Have things changed? Reread your journal entries and look at how God is working. It works! Keep listening to Him. Keep journaling. I can not pretend to know what God has planned for your marriage, but this will also help YOU and your frame of mind in general. God be with you and God bless you. I'll pray!

[@rachelmarie777]

It’s ok that you don’t know what to do- I felt that way for months until a few weeks ago when I decided to really give it to God this time and let go off my pride. I had reasons to divorce and I am sure you do too but is that Gods best ? He is a retiring God. I’ll be praying for you. ❤

[@dionnemassiah1680]

I felt thar way at times until I heard that love is an action word- you ha e to choose to love - i had to see my husband the way God sees him. I worked on my bad habits that I didn't realize at 1st and also prayed alot in the Spirit- God helped w bitterness and anger in my heart and did lots of changes in my husband- wow w God all things are possible. Say blessings over ur husband and say outloud ur vows and ask God to work on his heart

[@KR-os6nn]

This was the fastest 45 minutes ever. Please keep talking about this. It’s needed. ❤

[@serenacotton903]

You are such a blessing Lisa, thank you for your humility, openness, all of your conversations with husband, sons, daughter in law... Each discussion is a blessing and helpful. May God bless your mariage, family and ministry 🙏

[@crystaltoyne3059]

I would say pride has been a major issue….and we’re definitely still working on it. Marriage is hard :/

[@jacqimcgarry4073]

Marriage is challenging on its own, yes, but it is made more difficult when you are not pursuing a relationship with Jesus….

[@GloryToTheHighest]

Have you fasted for your marriage?

[@jacqimcgarry4073]

@@GloryToTheHighest no... But it may be a good idea to consider.

[@GloryToTheHighest]

@@jacqimcgarry4073 I got huge breakthroughs in marriage by fasting. Look into it. Also look into deliverance ministries. Certain things don’t change unless a person is delivered. I am speaking from my own experience. Bless you ❤

[@rachelmarie777]

I have struggled with pride also. Always blaming my husband instead of looking inward at what needs to change in me. It’s so much easier to see the other persons faults.

[@angelamann78]

I’m dealing with the Jezebel spirit in my husband, it’s so difficult.

[@digi6939]

We need more more and more of this!! Such amazing wisdom Thank you 🙏🏻

[@mapasekamulane9492]

I pray I don't give up, I wouldn't want to throw the plate across but I think that's preferable , than giving up.

[@azmomconnection]

Wow this was brilliant. Lisa is a gem. I love her ideas to hope for better with her husband, and that she has experienced different versions of him and some are her favorite. Very relatable.

[@GloryToTheHighest]

Nice to know that you related . Both beautiful and wise. Many blessings ❤

[@thesprinklebox4841]

God is having me listen to this this morning 🙏🏾 thank you for saying everything you did it has hit home like no other. I have been doing my marriage and my husband so wrong. I am just focused on all his wrongs instead of lifting him up with all the rights and ways he does take care of me and our children ❤✝️

[@amandaozuna736]

So good!! Thank you for pouring this out to us all- we are blessed to hear this and glean from you Lisa! Can't wait to see you again hopefully soon- a mercy culture member! We love you at MC!

[@pat86100]

Thank you for being a blessing!

[@johnmaggiorino4493]

I'm 26 years in....wife has started divorce process.There are covid narc traits...she's with another man already.I pray but seems like it's done😢

[@journeytogetherwithritz]

The story about your parents broke my heart 😭

[@monikapiechocinska7815]

I am incredibly encouraged by this message. I am post-divorce. My parents are also divorced and I see how many lies I believed. This message gives hope. Thank you ❤️

[@palesamkwanazi9770]

This episode went by so quick!!! Thank you for your teachings

[@delriebooysen]

For anyone that is finding themselves in the difficult season of infidelity . I want to say to you that God is good!!! Firstly peoples' behaviour is not a reflection of you, it is a reflection of them. We are all more broken than we would like to be and carry our unhealed past into our future. I know it is hard and I know it is painful, but God is still so good. In the midst of all the brokenness He whispers and He restores. I am walking this road for a second time (with the same husband) and God has spoken to me in such profound ways. He has asked me to stay because He is busy working. God has been so present and so faithful to me in the midst of all of this. Sometimes we only become aware of how our past is affecting us in the present, when these "terrible" things happen. Lean into God!!!

[@marsil1635]

I am... I've been silenced. He's lied...I've tired of being the understanding wife. We've gone hungry, gone without electricity and running water. He saud in 2017 he didn't believe anymore. I havalwzys felt something was missing....but i kept thinking it's me..I just gotta be more, do more, be more. Our children are now grown. I do have a special needs daughter. I want us to experience a home where they feel emotionally safe, including me. My husband is an alcoholic..gaslights and deflects. I will longer protect his behavior. 31 years....and my eyes were just opened that this type of abuse has been happening for years. I didn't realize Financial abuse was a thing. If my leaving him brings him back to the Lord, I'm willing to let him go. I don't want a divorce..but I'm worthy of being loved, cherished ....validated...God is showing He is all that to me.

[@MsBellsandy]

One of the best things that was said to me that took the scary out of it was that a separation didn't have to be permanent. Sometimes it's a wake up call, or just time for you to work on yourself and realize how sideways things have gotten. It's an opportunity to see truth without the filter of your everyday life. I had a friend who was separated 9 months and then they reconciled because he found God after she did. It's still hard, but not nearly as bad as it was. They are still working on it.

[@marsil1635]

@MsBellsandy I've been standing. And I know i can only work on me and my relationship with God. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

[@user-mr3fx6hi9i]

Perfect timing 🙏🏽💟

[@lacyb333]

Thank you for sharing this wisdom and insight. As I consider a first marriage and hear my mother’s less than optimistic words, your talks always bring me back to feeling and relying on God’s love and example. Thank you ❤

[@charlenejulius8501]

Saving your marriage and your spouses life is very humbling. God steps in and does the unimaginable. What a testimony!! I separated myself from friends who are divorced because they are so bitter, jealous and needy. I got to protect my marriage and be an example for my married daughter.

[@karateana7593]

I want a divorce, I married a full on narcissist, I ignored so many red flags, I have tired working through it but it's like head butting a brick wall. It's been a total nightmare from day one, I've had zero peace since we've been together, his contempt for me is off the hook, he'll start fights with me over things he thinks im thinking, i can literally be agreeing with him and he will flip the script and start arguing the other side. I'm happy to stay single for the rest of my life, it'll be 100% better than this.

[@devontejackson4025]

understandable, but now that YOU’VE tried all YOU can step back and allow/let GOD to do it. I pray this helps 🙏🏽

[@pamelapippin5661]

Listen to Leslie Vernick's teaching. I would encourage you to read her book. The Emotionally Destructive Marriage.

[@karateana7593]

​@@devontejackson4025Yes I'm trying, it's hard not to get dragged into the madness but I know God is doing a work on me through this too.

[@karateana7593]

​@@pamelapippin5661thanks I'll check it out.

[@aleah4610]

💯💯💯"WHAT DOES GOD SAY"

[@Noelialuvuanos_3]

I hope that you will read this massage. GOD is working with my husband and I after destroying our marriage, and I just wanted to let you know that this massage was a great help for me I really appreciate all that work you and your family put into all your videos. I am Hispanic from Chicago and i try to watch most of your family videos ❤

[@AzeldaBalie]

Thank you Lisa for this topic❤

[@m.i.n.d.y]

It’s hard for me to hear such strong praise for women who stay, regardless of abuse and adultery, but tolerance, and at most, acceptance of women who leave because of abuse and adultery. God can call you to both. One option is not by default superior or more holy than the other. Each marriage is a unique situation and we are not God to tell women what is best to do after their husband breaks covenant. We should direct women to God in that choice and to wise counsel. Highly recommend Leslie Vernick’s KZbin videos for Biblical guidance in this area.

[@fzleadventures173]

I never wanted to get married until I became a Christian in 2020. My BF of 9 years and the father to my kids finally proposed and we’ve been married for 1 year and it’s been the hardest part of our relationship. Nothing but problems since we got married. But I know the enemy hates marriage and I know God is up to something ❤

[@SB-xl8lp]

A lot of people who've experienced a divorce have done what they believed was right according to Scripture but you can't decide for another person how they'll respond. Also, parents who stay married can be just as destructive as those who divorce. It depends on a lot of things, mostly where God is in the whole thing.

[@QM-ec1mr]

I’m not leaving. I only asked that we go to therapy. He refuses to just go to therapy. He is filing for divorce for unbiblical reasons. He certainly has narcissistic traits…but even in that, I have been fighting for us to go to counseling and have always communicated that I am open to reconciliation. He wants to divorce and never speak again. He claims to be a believer but does not function as one. I have prayed and the Lord has shown me that this is a “when an unbeliever leaves, let him leave. For God has called you to live in peace.” situation. By His grace, we don’t have children. I have no choice but to let him leave. I am at peace and I thank Christ ❤

[@xolborstuff8999]

What book was Lisa referring to at 37:30? About the girl who was not in submission to the shepherd and then found herself in bitterness, and she now has to go through hardships. I feel this is me.

[@JessicaWomack-kj5mx]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom

[@opinionbytriz]

I'm ready to move on from my marriage. I can't be fake relationships & that's what this marriage has been. Porn, lust, telling me he prefers other women, I'm unattractive, kissing his uber rider, messaging women how beautiful & stunning & sexy they are. On top of that all the secrets & lies & gaslighting. He's finally seeing how he's been seeking validation. And wants make this right. But it's too late. He ignored & rejected all of my ideas & attempt to fix and work and seek help. I'm done. I'm tired.

[@nicolestanford4955]

Did he cuss the family out when he was tired from traveling on a weekly basis? Did you hit you ever? I think some woman’s extreme trauma is different than “my husband is tired and impatient”

[@agnesr.4664]

She was making a point. Whatever triggered you, I wish healing to you.

[@terrannyberg4687]

Yes, dear. May Jesus give you some comfort. I have been hit and cussed out. Not long after I threatened to brain him in his sleep with a cast iron skillet, if he hit me again, he told me he wanted a divorce. I begged him to stay married and let him blame everything on me. Until the next time he cussed me out. He hadn’t been home long enough for the cuss out to be my fault. That’s when I let go of the marriage. I canceled all our joint cards and accounts and filed for divorce. I later learned that they treat you that bad because they have convinced themselves you are so horrible you deserve to be cheated on. He’s cheating and if he’s not cheating, he wants to be cheating. You have biblical grounds for divorce, if that’s what you want. May God grant you peace and wisdom.

[@yemng]

I wish my mum spoke English so I could share this with her, my parents marriage has been going bad for years, but thank God they are still married, I believe God will restore them

[@lindatawera8013]

Just wondering Lisa what your opinion is on marriage vows, was recomended not to say "In sickness or in health...", because God's covenant is not sickness, being poor, ...

[@Womanofhope]

A quick question. 36:52 ; what if I decided to dream again and to keep believing that we can rise and build but my partner doesn’t? Should I let him go as he would or keep fighting? (Not married yet)

[@darrellallen4409]

I and my wife separated now it's over money and her daughter living with us but not paying her portion of the rent...and it went down from there...I have not given up on my marriage..we have not seen one another in more than 30 days...😢😢😢😢

[@QueenDaestra]

I'm a newlywed and I'm already going through it. Difference in love languages, husband doesn't touch me, kiss me, or hug me almost ever. Nothing of that sort even before intimacy. Speaks harshly, curses at me and hurls insults whenever he's angry, namecalls, doesn't help with domestic chores, never compliments me, didn't even tell me I was beautiful on our wedding day, threatens divorce every argument. Supposed to be christian.. why I first fell in love with him and now I don't think he's picked up his bible in months and certainly see no good fruit. I've been further from God now. I feel so lonely. I just want to feel loved and treasured. Divorce isn't an option for me but I just feel sad all the time and have no confidence. I can't talk to anyone about my feelings either. I pray God works in us and gives us a testimony because I don't want to and won't give up..

[@themasterspiece5669]

I was talking to a guy who wanted a wife so bad. He was interested in me but God kept silent when I asked him if this guy was the one and then SHOWED me through his actions that he wasn’t. This guy claimed to be a “Christian” but I say there is a difference between a Christian man and a Man of God! It seems that this guy that you’re with was pretending to be someone that he’s not to get someone he shouldn’t have even pursued. You deserve better than this. Really seek God for what He needs you to do and pay close attention. It simply sounds to me that he doesn’t truly have a relationship with God. There are also spirits behind this as well. Just putting in what came to my mind as I read this. I’m sorry about what you’re going through, I’ll be praying for you ❤

[@QueenDaestra]

@ When I met him he was reading the word every single day, constantly talking about God, leading Bible studies and teaching me things I didn’t even know about the Bible. He’s faith made me want to step up my faith. I fell in love with got he pursued God. On top of that he’d compliment me and was affectionate and then once he moved to Florida he switched up. I’m married to him so there’s not much I can do other than pray. I know there’s spiritual warfare behind it. I just stopped going to war which I shouldn’t have.

[@MsBellsandy]

Sounds like a narcissistic personality. Look up Kris Reece's videos. She fell into a similar thing. You can talk to someone. You MUST talk to someone, because that's the only touch you'll have with reality. Before he cows you into not seeking counseling or belittling you into thinking there's something wrong with you, you MUST talk to someone. If you hear God that's a good place to start, but it helps to have God speak through counselors sometimes too. And it's worth looking into your own life, if there's any parental similarities in your family, there's a reason why you were attracted to this guy. We seek out what's familiar even if it doesn't look familiar at first.

[@gracec5126]

​@@QueenDaestrai resonate with you so much! Been separated for almost a year now from a similar personality in my so called "Christian" husband. He flirts w/ other women when it bothers me then gaslights me that I am too sensitive, jealous and needy. Does not have any affection, no hugs, kisses, no cuddles. Nothing. Stopped the affection soon after marriage. He is super smart and charming. He's teaching children sunday school at another church not to serve God, but to fish and prey upon another woman with a gentle spirit to take care of him. He smear campaigned me and makes me lose all hope in the church. People take his side bc he makes money and has the charm and big ego. Anyway, I pray God protect you and guide you to put your faith in Jesus, not man to be your true hope and give you the unconditional love you deserve and seeking..only He can make you whole and lift your confidence back up. You are loved and lovable, you are the daughter of the most High King. Not the lies your "husband" says of you. There is definitely evil spirits your husband is allowing to enter and its manifestation is name calling and abusive behaviour towards you. Pray the holy spirit soften his heart and cleanse him from unclean spirits so he is able to recognize his unChristlike behaviour towards you. Seek a therapist and biblical counsellor to help repair your heart and make you strong in the Lord. I pray God give you peace and covers you with His love. May he give you wisdom to know what to do in your season. God is not honoured if this unbelieving husband is abusing His daughter emotionally or psychologically. Get somewhere safe and pray over yourself and husband for your own change and his. Ask God to help you get through. He will... keep up the good fight and press on. God is with you and loves you so much!!

[@angelakodicek]

Adultery isn’t grounds for divorce unless maybe it’s perpetual and one person is unwilling to work on the marriage. Many couples heal after adultery.

[@Bublee1111]

Go Lisa!

[@indrawathiselvarajah6489]

Emotional, verbal & financial abuse ?

[@hey2930]

16:56 THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPEN IN MY MARRIAGE

[@nydsg4460]

Ok, but what if my husband is the one that decided to walk away and go live his single life. At what point do I let go? I didn’t want this but I also don’t know how I could ever want to be with someone who has put me through so much

[@MsBellsandy]

If he left and won't be reconciled that's abandonment, and you're under no obligation according to Paul. That's biblical grounds. If you feel like God is releasing you then take the out. If you feel like he's giving you a choice then...your choice. I think he'll tell you.

[@cecileliralicious]

God, I'm praying for every person trusting you to restore the love and the joy in their marriages. May you hear their cries and their prayers. May you hear their prayers and petitions. Cover and protect their homes, their finances, and their children. May every marriage be restored in Jesus' name 🙏🏽 Amen

[@alexandraperez2142]

But what happens when you marry young without a full understanding of anything; life, children, marriage, God.. Years later.. Ive grown ive learned ive developed relationship with Jesus. My husband continues to be the same person, and always will be in some capacity because he is stunted from things that happened in his childhood. I still love him care for him will be there for him, share a child and lost a baby together. Hes committed adultery in his heart and has done more perverse things he is haunted by, battles addiction and trauma. Im understanding, and my love for God and love for him makes him want to be better, but he has always faulted in following through or being consistent in any area of his life. I dont take it personally, but today his demons continue to toy with me and stunt me from Gods purpose for my life. Looking back today, I dont regret anything, but moving forward I know this was not Gods will it was OUR will my husbands and I's.. and if im being honest I wouldnt pick him as my husband again. He is not the character or type of person I would choose for myself today. So it bears a weight on my conscious to leave but leaving would be best for both parties involved. I respect marriage and he hasnt shown to respect it much. I told myself if it was Gods will let whatever be done, fully surrendered. What I've came to revelation on is that 1) My love for my husband holds the potential for his salvation, 2) He is very demon oppressed 3)I have every right to divorce him under Gods law 4) While I feel distraught about not giving my child both parents in the home, 2 happy homes is far healthier for him than a forced unhappy home. I truly believe we can prioritize our family and not have to be romantic with each other, I truly believe Gods will can be done whether He completely renews my husband or gives him the heart to let us be peaceful with eachother for our child.

[@smz257]

I'm sorry for your situation, but I'm happy to hear of all your revelations and your persistent hope and love.

[@pelynn21]

God sovereignly chose your husband when you didn’t know anything. And scripture is clear that it is God’s will for believers to remain married to their unsaved spouses unless that spouse chooses to end the marriage. (1 Cor 7:12-13) I don’t know your situation, sister, but it’s best to focus on your own humility and sanctification, whether you’re married to a believer or not. And be the best example of God’s unconditional love, grace, and (I can’t emphasize this enough) humility.

[@smz257]

@@pelynn21 I support this as well.

[@finchsparrowbird]

You are an intelligent and sensitive soul. It sounds like you are thinking more about separation, than divorce. In all cases, especially with children, safety first.

[@alexandraperez2142]

@@finchsparrowbird we have been separated since May 17th. This was the day his transgressions were fully exposed, as well as the same day my still born daughter was supposed to be due that we lost a month prior. God works in mysterious ways like that. I paid for the full divorce but did not want to interrupt his healing from addictions and He simply withheld any help physical or monetary for our child so I put it on the back burner and haven’t mentioned it to keep things ok between us so there is no verbal altercation. Conversations will be had soon, I will update my post if so. Thanks for taking the time to read! Safety of child is everything for me, I find myself to be the best mom when separated, I genuinely believe God does not want me to go back to what He has delivered me from. But does want me to continue being a force of love in my child’s father’s life so he heads in the right direction toward Christ.

[@Elisha_she_bear]

Im on my 3rd marriage.😢 in my early 20s, i was raised in brokwn home, there were no men. Grt grandad died yr before i was born, grandad and grandmama dovirced (he was abusove anns impregnating the hood) mom and dad teens. Bio dad left. He was a child. Raised by nothing but womrn, they stated over and over. Men were throw away, fathers for our children, but not meant to stay. Aunt had a baby, married man, so he didnt stick around. Uncle bailed agter having string of women. All i saw was men as throw aways. Yes important as fathers but not mates. My 1st hus, we shouldnt have been together, had 2 kids and couldnt communicate or speak to each other. But i quit on the marriage😢 2nd marriage i dug deep and stayed in an abussive situation, we should have ran quick but i didnt want to fail and maybe i was punishing myself. But also my kids Had another baby. 3 kids And finally the abuse was too much so kida grown i left And went back to the man who i should have married way back when but didnt and now life has been rough. Warped us Now we are struggling.life haas punched us and im trying Then this came up And im trying.We are in a church Christian We are praying. ❤

[@2GunRock]

You can always pray and fight for your marriage unless it involves adultery/betrayal, physical or drug abuse. By drug abuse I don't mean weed, pain pills or something innocuous you can conquer with prayer and rehab. I mean strung-out on hardcore drugs (Heroin etc.) that makes the life of a spouse a living hell. Those few things aside, every marriage has its ups and downs and those wedding vows were made with each other - and God.

[@agnesr.4664]

I have a friend whose husband backslid into drugs (I believe pills and cocaine..) five years after the wedding. She is suffering, trying hard and fighting for their marriage. We're all praying in Church. However, she needed to move out eventually. I don't know the details and I am not too close to her. But I see her try and also just cling to Jesus. It takes two to tango. Don't judge nobody who went through a divorce.

[@2GunRock]

@@agnesr.4664 I would consider cocaine on my list of hard drugs you can't live with. My family had a hardcore addict in it and I can attest it's impossible to live with. More of a hell of you than him. Anyway, my point is not to judge. My point is, nowadays women file for divorce more than men, cheat more than men too, for frivolous reasons like boredom etc., as if they think the infatuation phase should last forever, so they break up the family to search for more excitement Look at the divorce stats over the past 50 Years. The increase is downright decadent. However, if you are getting divorced for a DAMN GOOD REASON (see above), you should be comforted, not judged.

[@2GunRock]

@@agnesr.4664 I would definitely view Cocaine.. hardcore and highly addictive. Did you know if you feed Cocaine.. to rats they'll just keep eating it until their hearts explode and they die. Anything to do with rats makes me cringe, but it's an interesting experience. As for pills, I broke my back and neck in a terrible injury. Neither severed my spinal cord, by the grace of God, but the possibility would remain unless I have the fusions (screw and steel plates) installed in all the vertebrates that were broken. Afterwards the pain was excruciating and this was back when they would still prescribe pills like Vicodin in such cases. Well I took them for about a year, perhaps a bit longer, but I definitely developed an addiction to them. Believe it or not, I rehabbed off them on my own, but I did it the right way. Just stopping cold turkey can kill you. You have to cutdown on your dosage incrementally, like a little bit less every week, until your body no longer reacts violently without them, which could take approximately 6 months depending on your dosage to start with. As for Cocaine... the mental addiction far outweighs the physical, but the rehab if mental torture and you can't just ween off incrementally like pills. For that he needs to checkin to a rehab, and his wife is under no obligation to "enable him". She has every right to tell him, point blank, if you relapse again instead of consistently attending NA meetings after rehab, I'll file for divorce but YOU will have wrecked our marriage and family, NOT ME. Lastly, since he's going to rehab (BY HER ULTIMATUM), he might as well use it to rehab off both, the Coke & Pills, with professionals in charge.

[@aileenreynolds5604]

The enemy works hard to destroy marriage and family.

[@antonialovesyou4462]

My Mother should've never divorced my Father cause it clearly today has made her house demons. I can't even talk to her today cause she sends me scary text messages! PRAY for me ya'll!

[@stephm5877]

Marriage is not a covenant with God. That is idolatry. Nothing breaks our covenant with the Lord through salvation. Anyone can get a Marriage through the government. It doesn't mean it's ordained by God.

[@sandraocasio9706]

Hi I love my ex husband even now. after 30 years of being together, he left me 3 years ago, he began dating immediately and this year I received the divorce letter He just got engaged to be married to another woman who he is living with. I understand from the scripture that if a divorced woman remarries she is committing adultery . I pleaded with my husband who professed faith in Jesus for 14 years to get help and work out the issues in our marriage under the Mighty Hand of God but he didn’t want to work it out , he said he wanted to be with the woman of his dreams before he is too old to do it . I’m still dealing with pain of our divorce but I want to know what you take from Matthew 5:32b .. and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery .. I want to honor God my Lord and King in all I do and wouldn’t want to be a stumbling block for anyone . I’m also a leader in my home church . Of course I want to live the Word of God in all that I do, say or think.

[@dionnemassiah1680]

But Paul says if you burn w desire- you should marry- i know lots of divorce christian women that remarried- ask ur heavenly father He'll tell you

[@charlenejulius8501]

God is able to help you overcome loneliness. Do things you always wanted to do. I am glad that you are busy and not sitting back. God has more in store for you. Amen

[@elysiacloet2537]

I believe that if the man leaves and rejects you that you can remarry. He has moved on so you can now too.

[@expressautotransport7422]

Actually that data on divorce is wrong, it was described as done by Barna but Barna said that it not true. Only 24% of first time marriages end in divorce

[@Yahoo.266]

Married over 30 yrs… to a pastor of counseling, but we were falling apart. I wanted for us to go to counseling but his pride didn’t allow us to as a couple. I went for my own counseling but it didn’t help with “us”. We are now divorced & he stopped serving Christ. I had to leave the church.

[@charlenejulius8501]

Sister, hugs are coming your way. ❤ God loves you sooooo much!!! That matters most.

[@FlorenceLunsford-sk2nj]

I got a terrible attitude l need a better behavior l have been divorced before l should have kept my legs closed a long time ago

[@cutenobi]

I would love to find biblical proof to show that adultery is a permissible for divorce.

[@AnnaRiveraSheerBeautybyAnna]

Matthew 19:9

[@AnnaRiveraSheerBeautybyAnna]

Matthew 24 Matthew 5:32

[@libbybloom3215]

“And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery-unless his wife has been unfaithful.”” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19‬:‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

[@GloryToTheHighest]

Are u planning to stay single? Thats the case.

[@ndodier]

Amen ❤

[@Carrie-d7c]

hate click bait didnt even finish left us hanging

[@angelrebekah9153]

It's not click bait its a trailer for an upcoming podcast 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Brookm-e2q]

This is exactly what I needed at the right time 🥹

[@christierose5801]

I really hope that both of you wonderful, wise, ladies know how much of blessing it is to listen to you both, thank you for doing this.🫶🏻 I am so grateful to hear this conversation. 🤍

[@tymberlynfrischkorn4641]

My husband and I were both Christians when we got married. We had a beautiful display of Gods love at our wedding. Fast toward 4 years and my husband had two affairs (I am not without fault in how we ended up there). We both chose to stay and put in the work to heal in Christ. We now have two beautiful children, a buisness where we work together and I am walking in belief that God will give and has given me my double portion! 🤍 Now I encourage women in their marriages through a Facebook group and 1-1. 🤍 thank you Jesus! This podcast is so so good!

[@jazzyone1986]

I hope you don’t get offended with my question but how did you learn to trust him again after the affairs?

[@johnkeir4139]

Met lisa in Belfast. 100 years ago. Love her and John and their honesty . In marriage (40)years I have thought of divorce sometimes monthly . Husband unsaved but totally Controlled food wine weight . So charming outside to everyone. . Me opposite . Am good at frizzbe. Mgt