LIVE DISCUSSION: Autistic Traits in Women

Join me Wednesday, April 6 at 12:00pm CST for a live discussion around one of my most recent videos, 16 Overlooked Autistic Traits in Women. You are invited to share questions, feedback, additional thoughts, etc. as we explore this topic together. I'll get to as many comments from the live feed as I can. You are welcome to use the Super Chat and Super Stickers features during the livestream as they are more likely to grab my attention in the event that we have a lot of comments coming in.
If you have not yet seen my original video of autistic traits in women, you can find that here:
16 Overlooked Autistic Traits in Women: www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeZZH...
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💻 Resources 📚
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Chart of Traits in Autistic Women: • Chart of Autistic Trai...
Why Female Autism is Questioned: embrace-autism.com/why-female...
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Autism Spectrum Quotient: embrace-autism.com/autism-spe...
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Online Autism Tests: embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/
\\ Online Autism Evaluation Options //
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Spectrus Psychological: www.spectruspsych.com
Norther Colorado Assessment Center: nocoassessmentcenter.com/
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I'm Tay, a married mom of 2 who was diagnosed with Autism at 31 years old. This was after YEARS of therapy (and all of the self tests in the world!). My diagnosis has brought up questions, frustration, doubt, but most importantly, a new level of self compassion and understanding.
I'm here to share knowledge, resources, and products that empower other neurodivergents (and their loved ones) to live freely and creatively. I'm not a doctor so please speak with your healthcare providers before implementing any recommendations I make on my channel.
Women are under-diagnosed due to lack of research. Please share any videos that are helpful to you so we can spread awareness and acceptance.
#autism #autistic #aspergers

[@kochaos6129]

Autism test: 1) Suspect you might be autistic. 2) Wait four months... in the meantime, have you collected enough information about autism to teach a college course? 3) If Yes, you are likely autistic.

[@jackie6836]

Hilarious 😂 so true.

[@azcactusflower1]

Recently learned about PDA -- Pathological demand avoidance. Another autism YT creator (Kristy Forbes - Autistic Support Specialist) says her counsel made the acroym stand for Persistent Drive for Autonomy. I think that resonates for me

[@codirennke1109]

Oh my gosh this describes the main thing I'm struggling with lately perfectly!! So comforting to have a term for it now and to know others struggle with it too. 💗

[@azcactusflower1]

@@codirennke1109 Kristy's videos on the subject are quite revealing. Glad my comment was helpful xx

[@codirennke1109]

@@azcactusflower1 I will definitely check out her videos. Thank you!

[@codirennke1109]

Late to the game but wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. I remember distinctly a particular time when I was probably in middle or high school and alone in my room. It occured to me that I could make whatever sound I wanted or do whatever embarrassing thing I felt like doing because I was alone. Before that i had kept up my making even when i was alone bc i was so focused on appearing or being normal all the time around other people it continued even when I was alone. When i was younger than that, like really little, i remember people being annoyed by my sounds and behavior all the time and i guess that's what made me start making to begin with. But once i had that realization that i was free to explore who i really was in private it was huge. I'm 32 now and so now i have the awareness of masking but it's cool being able to look back and make sense of those experiences now.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Love this! Thanks for sharing

[@kaceyh7057]

Just found out that I have autism at age 32 after a devastating heart broke and everything just checked out ,,, Thank you for your channel and all been binge your video 😢 I

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hi Kacey - thanks for your comment. I'm glad you're here - welcome to the community!

[@sueannevangalen5186]

I always have a better day when I've been chatting with others in the autistic community 😊 Thanks everyone for showing up today.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

so glad you were part of it today, sueanne!

[@whitneymason406]

I've been thinking of you SueAnne! Hope you are well! ❤

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@whitneymason406 Getting better all the time. My one-year-old, however, is still very stuffy and miserable. No doubt we'll be fine by the weekend.

[@katiewynn3926]

i grew up in a small town so when I go to walmart the lights make my eyes water and im always on alert feeling from the social anxiety of running into ppl I know and then having to talk to them. It depends on the mood of the day and if i am tired or not. Plus all the sounds I couldn’t hear someone talk one time they had to keep repeating themselves 😢i felt so bad but the refrigerators/freezers are so dang loud.

[@andreaharmon8931]

Been in my research phase for 7 months now. I've been going through the diagnostic process for the past 3 months. Taking it slowly.

[@jeskafm2929]

The feeling of wanting to leave your body is so accurate. I always tell people I wish I could throw away my body haha. IDK why it happens.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

It’s very uncomfortable!

[@michelekey2401]

My Mom has always been like this… I felt alone my entire childhood. Now I’m 53 and I think I’m autistic. My daughter has ADHD

[@jeannetteking2591]

FINALLY FINALLY THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE ME! I'm over 40, I JUST found this. I had ADHD last year and it didn't quite fit, NOW. I FEEL SEEN. Thank you 😊

[@alaysiakayebutler6299]

About 12 yrs ago, having had a lot of aha moments, I told my primary care physician my desire to be tested. Otherwise a very atuned care provider, she looked at me, and I looked at her, and she immediately dismissed the issue BECAUSE I "could look her in the eyes"..!!; I knew even before my own research, her judgement was based on the known male youth version

[@MomontheSpectrum]

im sorry to hear about your experience! many others have had frustratingly similar stories

[@Dancestar1981]

Women present differently we have better eye contact due to social expectations

[@Dancestar1981]

The tests are biased designed for make presentation

[@mariecait]

i’m on disability because of autism and it’s very hard to be in this world.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

💞

[@Dancestar1981]

It is me too

[@surlespasdondine]

Something that might be a trait (I'm not sure) is that I value my mind /brain over anything else. In today's world where looks are so highly valued, I feel out of place.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

This is a great point! I have noticed many on the spectrum tend to be very connected to their brain rather than body.

[@turtleanton6539]

Fully agreed 😊😊😊

[@andreaharmon8931]

I've got over a 100 items I've put in my notes on my phone as to how I feel I could be autistic. I've written around 10 pages or more. I've got over 40 pages (handwritten) for my formal diagnosis I'm working on right now. I'm not sure what I'll do if my diagnosis comes back saying I'm not autistic. I feel I've found my peeps in the autistic community.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Glad you’re here!

[@andreaharmon8931]

@@MomontheSpectrum thank you

[@Dancestar1981]

Make sure you get a referral to a psychologist who specialises in ASD in women and you will be guaranteed a genuine diagnosis

[@whitneymason406]

So nice chatting with everyone and making new friends! Congratulations on 10k! 🎉

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks Whitney! Always glad to have you as part of the livestreams.

[@surlespasdondine]

I am pretty sure I have autism and it's a huge relief. Just need to get an official diagnosis.

[@dustistreet5108]

A good way to separate questions from comments is for those asking a question to write QUESTION: Just trying to help and make it easier for you.

[@betsyfortenberry8964]

As a nurse who suffered through a 20 year narcissistically abusive marriage to a covert narcissist (diagnosable)hust to clarify...gaslighting is someone being dishonest or deceptive on purpose...it is possible for providers to just not be as educated on a health condition and be wrong without engaging in gaslighting. Being mistaken is different from gaslighting. I have compassion for the misunderstanding you received. Both are very hard to deal with,. Gaslighting is much more sinister but does also sometimes occur from medical providers.

[@ameliasandoval5703]

Hello mom on the spectrum. I’m watching this on replay. I’m so glad I found you. I love KZbin and I just typed “how to help your autistic child to make friends or keep them” And I FOUND You! Yay!!! But I’m desperate because my 16 year old son is depressed and he is autistic. I live in Kentucky and there’s not a lot of mental health professionals for children. I can’t even find a therapist that I can take my son to. There’s all kind of help for adults and NOT as much for kids. Please help me!! Can you answer my message. I need to find a therapist or dr that will treat my child properly. His dr doesn’t have a clue because we’re new to her practice and she doesn’t even believe that my son is autistic. He was diagnosed at 3.10 months of age in AZ.

[@michelekey2401]

Thank you for your channel ❤

[@Livinginthegrayarea]

The stress talk from doctors is on point!!! I can just watch your videos for hours hahaha

[@alexahicks6159]

This was such a good conversion! Thank you ❤

[@sandrakulikowski6305]

I hope at some point you can stop apologizing for being an autistic woman. Point blank you are not bisexual and you’re not a man. You are a woman experiencing a diagnosis in life. Being diagnosed as a healthy heterosexual woman on the spectrum of autism. Anyone listening to your videos can’t bring their diversity into your experience. I am grateful for you being so open and honest, to explaining your experience. You are so blessed to have a husband who is so supportive and understanding. So many relationships are destroyed because of misunderstanding. Keep doing the amazing work you’re doing. I so appreciate your contact. Don’t look at the negative comments from people who aren’t like you. I’m counting on you for more contact. I’m counting on you to be strong for me. You made such an impact in my life. If someone doesn’t fit your dynamics in life block them, or encourage them to move on to a platform that will.

[@rachaelreczenski7270]

She's happily divorced now 😬

[@cannoliiii]

such a cool experience ! lots of helpful info, I took so many notes. Thanks Tay ! 💌

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’re very welcome! Thanks for joining.

[@annwilson3069]

I’m 56 i knew I was a slow learner and thought that was it love me some

[@photokimasl]

I'm sorry I missed your live chat. Btw, you are beautiful person.

[@haroldgifford852]

Congratulations! 🎆🎊🥳👍

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks Harold!

[@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

My most prevalent stim after I hid most of them combined with a weird physical sensation I’ve experienced my whole life. The tops of my hands are always cold (I don’t like the feel of air on them), and so I’d fold my hands onto my thighs (you know, one hand on each thigh) so that the tops of my hands were against my thighs and I’d push. The pushing was stimming and having my hand against my thighs helped warm them.

[@eph2vv89only1way]

@Mom on the Spectrum , you tag someone (“highlight their name”) in chats by typing @ , followed by their name spelled exactly the way they do, including spaces (but no space after the @ sign) and capitalization

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks Darlene!

[@eph2vv89only1way]

@@MomontheSpectrum np

[@lamkinsjames]

Smart husband text message. Thanks for sharing

[@christineclarke9063]

#replay i love your channel ❤️ you are such a beautiful soul. Iam having my first 2 hr appt for diagnosis on the 26th they are using the migdas assessment has anyone been through that assessment im really nervous.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You’ve got this!! 💓💪🏻

[@christineclarke9063]

@@MomontheSpectrum thankyou

[@ThatPaintingLass]

For the group discussions, are those going to be a closed group: available only to those who attended the live call? Or are they going to be recorded and then put on your channel (or somewhere else) so we can all benefit from them?

[@MomontheSpectrum]

oooh great question. For now, they will be private and kept totally safe from outside involvement. But in the future it could be really cool to have a group of willing participants for a discussion that I could later post. Thanks for the idea!

[@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

Cannot make heads nor tails of Discord. Have no clue why I must create a server. Don’t want to invite friends. I just want to find community there. Why must everything be so difficult?

[@michelekey2401]

👍🏻

[@SarahDale111]

My mind picks out the ums and it becomes all I can hear. 🤪

[@MomontheSpectrum]

haha yes i do say um a lot... i edit it out SO much on my non-live stream videos. 😛

[@SarahDale111]

@@MomontheSpectrum Please forgive me for not having gotten my blunt honesty under control. Just observatin'. 🙃 💛

[@ingridfischer3432]

Haha, I thought I was the only one.😂

[@SarahDale111]

@@ingridfischer3432 Well, it is an autistic thing to get caught up in little unimportant details, repeating sounds, looking for patterns, etc. It's all I can do not to play the video just to count the ums. 😂

[@klnamba]

You CAN have both CPTSD and PTSD. I've been diagnosed with both at the same time.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for this info

[@lamkinsjames]

I'm suprised there wasnt a doc local. I certainly dont want to travel across the country. It goes against what im dealing with. It seems

[@TrenaBarnes52]

I know this is an older video but I'm new here. Does anyone know if it happens that someone could be diagnosed with cptsd and not autism? I've had a lot of trauma from early childhood and am waiting on an assessment, thinking perhaps my traits come only from the trauma, not autism itself. I hope that makes sense.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes absolutely. Someone can be diagnosed with CPTSD and not autism (though CPTSD is not in the DSM-5 as a diagnosis… it would probably be classified as a type of stress disorder). But both CPTSD and autism also frequently coexist.

[@TrenaBarnes52]

Hi Taylor, I really appreciate your reply. I thought of a better way to phrase my question. Could cptsd mimic autism? In other words, Could you have autistic traits that are actually just a manifestation of the trauma and then be misdiagnosed? I'm having trouble finding info that would help differentiate the two. Would special interests be the deciding factor? It all seems so tricky.

[@MsPopo81]

The embrace quiz link and main site doesnt work on my end for some reason...

[@MomontheSpectrum]

www.embrace-autism.com does this work?

[@nancymello5246]

@@MomontheSpectrum nope

[@carolinaalvesdelima675]

Hello hello!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

👋🏻

[@whitneywilliams6795]

What foot condition did you have? I also had to have surgery for a rare foot problem called a tarsal coalition. It would be weird if that was somehow linked to autism.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes that would be weird! I had a sesamoid removal.

[@11pkrs]

My son has autism and had surgeries in both feet for tarsal coalition!

[@beepbopboop3221]

I cannot figure out discord. Like how to search. People invited me to the app game ones that I'm in.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

It was confusing to me too. Here is a step-by-step video that may be helpful to you! kzbin.info/www/bejne/gXTLgaCad8mjarM

[@Dancestar1981]

It’s ok I can’t follow discord either

[@authorlauradecamara7064]

I have problems with loud sounds it makes me upset. Then I have a meltdown. I can't look people in the eyes.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yeah I don’t like loud sounds they make me super tense. But I do love really loud music?? 😎

[@Dancestar1981]

That’s sensory sensitivities and yes looking into eyes can be overwhelming as it’s like staring at a persons soul

[@michelekey2401]

? Research is all I do all day long.?

[@nnylasoR]

😆🔎RESEARCH PHASE🔎😆

[@gailgates5436]

Hi!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hi!