How Parents Can Help Their Children Cope With Divorce

[@areejallahou7721]

10- believe they can handle it ( kids are resilient ) 9- do not talk badly about the other parent (period not only in front of the kids because it changes the energy) 8- dont even think badly about the other parent ( to create a positive environment for ur kids ) 7- focus on ur job ( love the kids and dont get distracted with being over protective , the kids main fear that the parent dont love them, so make sure u give them a lot of love ) 6- reassures the kids that u will handle all the tough questions (where they live, how much time they will spend with each parent .. etc ) 5- parent issue are not kid issues ( what u worry about is not what they are worried about ) 4- take care of the problems in ur world ( the separation creates 2 worlds mommy world and daddy world, kids belong in both worlds , you only control ur world and let go of the other world believe you dont have any control so dont create conflict ) 3- stay in agent mode ( dont act like a victim, ur in control in ur life ) 2- take good care of ur self, so ur kids dont have to, and have to take care of u ! 1- practice positivity ( you have the power to remain positive ) Your welcome 🙏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You wrapped that up expertly. Thank you.

[@yeekhine6552]

Thank you so much for this valuable video. I got divorced recently and we share 50-50 custody of our 2 years old daughter. Everytime I drop her off at her Dad's place, I can't control my emotions and cry, so is she (very badly) . But her father never shows emotions when he drop her at my place, so she happily says goodbye to him. Before that, I thought my daughter cries because she loves me more and she wants to be with me. After I watch some videos of you, I am realizing that I put burden on my daughter by injection my emotions. I love to know more about how should I behave when I drop her off at her father's place or daycare. Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

yee khine, make it part of the routine. You can have a special way you say goodbye, then smile and leave. Make it short and sweet.

[@yeekhine6552]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you so much for replying.

[@dawnmccullar4304]

I'm going through the same thing

[@dawnmccullar4304]

Yes agreed

[@brucehemsworth6844]

Even though my parents are divorced, I am thankful they parted ways after I turned legal adult age. If they had parted ways while I was a kid, I know it would have been too much bear emotionally. As an adult kid I can understand the complexities of a mum/dad relationship. There came to a point where I knew my parents loved each other but, they were no longer in love with each other. It was painful to see them go through a divorce, at the end of the day I still love dad & mum regardless...

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Bruce Hemsworth, thank you for commenting. I love how you as an adult child love your parents no matter what and even if... It goes both ways.

[@AH_mich]

So you're saying that you're glad they stayed in an unhappy relationship until you were an adult? I'm just trying to see your point of view. In my case, my reason for staying (my kids) needs to be my reason for leaving. They deserve to grow up in a healthy and stable household. Please don't think I'm throwing any shade at you. I'm not. I'm only trying to understand a different perspective. Thanks.

[@jennychoi7756]

Thank you so much for the great video! It's been about two months that I moved out after divorce. My husband has custody of two sons, 15 and 9, and I meet them twice a week, since the little one misses me a lot. He calls me sometimes, so depressed and sad, and it breaks my heart. The tip number two! I almost cried to hear that. And I'll try my best to do as you advised! Best wishes, from Seoul, South Korea.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jenny Choi, I wish you and your family the best of luck as you work through this difficult time.

[@abyanfarah1076]

Thank you I’m single mom of five children, four boys and one girls. I left very abuse marriage of 15yreas.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Abyan Farah, I wish you the best of luck.

[@karlsailor]

Thank you. I'm new to all of this (day 4), and your positive approach is really helping.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wonderful! Thank you for letting me know.

[@Jerry-jk3mp]

my parents got divorced a year ago and my little sister used to see them fight a lot which is why it makes her more aggressive and stubborn. me n my other sisters trying to do our best to let her not think about what happened in the past but we also struggle with her behavior. I really needed this thank u (( if u have any advise for me please go ahead))

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Give her time and let her know that love her and that she doesn't have to be a victim. Watch some other videos where I talk about this.

[@Jerry-jk3mp]

@@LiveOnPurposeTV ok thank u so much, i will.

[@LRodn2005]

I know I making the right decision because none of this is bothering me. I have full confidence in my ability to follow all of these rules.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Laura Rodriguez, Wonderful! You got this.

[@blank3115]

Would love to see the tips written out in the description...helps me follow along. GREAT video!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Great idea, blank blank. I will talk to my producer.

[@mackslade1980]

I wasn't ready for this. Thank you

[@user-ux5mk4fr6l]

Your words are healing and inspirational! Thank you.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Absolutely.

[@miraclehappens5677]

Great short video full of so much k Snowledge.. thank you Dr.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Most welcome!

[@pamlewis2243]

Wow , now to get my daughter to listen to this .

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Pam Lewis, I hope you can.

[@meimeix1202]

Big help thank you ❤❤❤

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You got it!

[@candeekring6908]

awesome video and series... u are great! I need to watch this everyday lol

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Some videos are best watched a couple of times, Candee Kring. Glad to help in any way.

[@WillyWally40]

Instead of not thinking negatively, not thinking at all is the better way. When you've been harmed you need to free your mind of your ex. Don't get bogged down with thinking you have to perceive them positively for the kids. Radically accepting reality and moving on is what your children need. Getting cheated on, you have to know your worth and internalize none of the blame shifting. Love your kids, work on yourself, and mentally dump that person out of your thoughts.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad you have things figured out.

[@jjslosttrain1461]

Wow.. thank you. ❤

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're welcome 😊

[@rodeticogarcia7156]

Nice idea thanks for this,..

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Most welcome 😊

[@tomgregg4564]

I love this approach. thanks for the videos. I would love to see the captions in the video

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Tom Gregg, thanks. we are always looking at doing new things.

[@ChaitreeRamgolam]

Thanks loads.

[@nancyi.khalil3927]

Thank you, thats helpful

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Glad it was helpful!

[@jacobosanchez4778]

Thank you Dr. Paul. Greetings from Nicaragua.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Welcome!! Jacobo Sanchez, I have never been to Nicaragua, glad we can meet up here.

[@louisatutu2580]

this is so helpfu ll thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Louisa Tutu, thank you.

[@AmeliaQuenney]

Great guidance!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@queenSummerKeli]

Thank you for this!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

queenSummerKeli, You are welcome. Glad the video was helpful for you.

[@hcf1264]

There’s a problem with your free digital copy! Click funnels problem! Just a heads up x great video!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Try this: drpauljenkins.info/portablepositivity

[@thumoore9918]

Thanks for this video.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're welcome

[@sofiasruk3421]

Brilliant 👍👏❤

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you, Sofia Sruk.

[@jemenemenee]

thank u bro

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You're welcome!

[@JacquelynNewmandivine]

Your amazing thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Thank you for being here.

[@TheThinkingMathematician]

great advice- i needed to hear it

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jonathan Mathematics Teacher, you are welcome.

[@bensack1385]

If you've read the comments in your videos I'd be curious to hear what you have to say regarding divorces that involve domestic violence. Example being your spouse was drugging you and exposing your child to dangerous individuals. Exactly how do we handle/mitigate the impacts on the children when that level of danger is involved?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

When children are in danger we need to protect them. Abuse is not o.k.

[@ChaitreeRamgolam]

Please send me the link on your Digital Book on Positivity. Thank you.

[@karlfehn]

Great stuff, thanks!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

My pleasure.

[@sarahjohn3912]

I have a question if you don't think negative about the other parent wouldn't you just want to not bother with the divorce. I understand it makes sense to not talk bad about their parent but that part is just confusing to me

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Our actions often come from our thoughts. It is easier to act in the best interest of our child when we don't base our actions on our feelings for our ex.

[@vickygilmour4945]

What do you do in a situation where kids do not want to spend time with dad's girlfriend he lives with and her 3 kids.(he introduced them 6 weeks after telling kids we had split up) and kids just want to see daddy on there own.we have no arrangement he's happy for kids to live with me, they only see him on Tuesday for 2 hrs after school and bit on sat .

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

This is for the kids to work out with their dad. They need to tell him what they want and hopefully he can understand they are transitioning and need some time with him.

[@nisrinalsaddy9073]

Wow so powerful

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

thank you.

[@ivetfuentes634]

How do you deal with addiction and anger issues in the other world?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Ivet Fuentes, I think you are referring to the other household in a divorce situation. Really, you can't. You can shore up the child when they are with you and talk a lot so they can see what is happening and the effects.

[@ThE_ReNGoKu.]

I need your book

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You can order it through Amazon or www.drpauljenkins.com. If you are in the US, it is less through my website.

[@eh4235]

Very nice advices. Easier said, really hard to achieve. I am actually going through a high conflict custody, parental aliniation, and my kids hating my guts and refusing anything I offer and can't call me mom, because they call their step mother," Mom " ( only known her for 3 months). Really messed up situation. They bully me every time after they talk to the father and try to persist, and make false alligations about me to authorities. They are like tentacles of his hatred. Really messed up. Their father constantly sabotaging therapy for them. Your videos help tremendously, but i wish I can find competent advice of how to deal with narcissistic parental aliniation syndrome and this kind of abuse, without thinking bad about their parent, or looking like the rescuing parent. It all started when my ex met this crazy woman and because of his felony charges that he is still fighting.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

E H, I really wish you the best. There is a lot going on here and I am grateful you are putting the kids first and being the best person you can be.

[@hcf1264]

Dr Childress and Dr Ramani on Fb

[@belindaschauer5805]

What happens if parents did not follow these important rules and now have to undo 7 years of treating the child (now 19) with messages like parental shame, child as victim, material gifts to cover guilt, etc. What resources are available for both parent and adult-child who needs help with coping, respect, trust, gratitude, forgiveness, and love?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Therapy, coaching, forgiveness.

[@viviaguilar29]

I Love your channel. Thanks for that.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

So nice of you

[@Mushroom321-]

Well said! & great points! 😃🤔😲❤👏

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Wendi Watson, thank you.

[@peanuteu]

Thank you

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You are welcome, peanuteu. Thank you for being at Live On Purpose TV.

[@nahlbee8565]

So hard to do the no. 8 😅

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Nahi. Bee, you can do it. I believe in you.

[@dale.lecuyer]

I sooo needed to hear this!!!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dale L'Ecuyer, glad we could connect.

[@growwithusonline6514]

I need your positive guidance about 10 years orphan child mind towards mother how do this. It's out of touch just meetings in court 2 hrs

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

lubna mirza, I wish you the best.

[@Ahmed35956]

Hi, when should i tell My kids that their parents have divorced? Oldest is 6 years old. Thanks

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You can talk to them when they show an interest in the topic.

[@reemsharp9286]

Hi i want to ask for advice please. My 6 year old boy will have his birthday next week and i am terrified that he will do silly things (as usually he is) And kids will complain about him .i take a lot with him about his behavior but still he enjoy being silly and can't understand that this is not acceptable.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

reem sharp. Is there a way you can video his behavior and the reaction he is getting and then later show him? Give lots of praise when he is acting appropriate. Hope this helps.

[@raulandrade6836]

I need advice. First off, great video, sir. Now I'm 34. I've been married for 5 years. I have a 2.5 year old daughter. TBH, I don't feel my wife is the person i was meant to be with. Long story short, Im falling madly in love with another woman. She is smart, driven , sweet, hard working, can sing and has the most beautiful smile and eyes. I want to get divorced. My biggest fear? My little daughter, I don't want to cause her any pain or lasting damage. Should I wait any longer? Should I do it now.? My wife knows all too well how I feel about her. TIA. Greetings from Lima, Peru

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Raul Andrade, thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the video. I appreciate your honesty about the situation - that is very helpful. Would you mind watching a few videos? That will help with my answer. The first is "How To Confront Your Husband About Flirting": kzbin.info/www/bejne/d33XfISAeNWrqJY. For this one, all you need to watch is the first 40 seconds. Second, I recommend this video: "How To Save Your Second Marriage Before It Starts" found kzbin.info/www/bejne/n3-niGqmd9ypeLs. The most relevant part is between 3:05 to 5:40 minutes. Lastly, you might find value in the entire video "How Do You Stay In Love With Someone" kzbin.info/www/bejne/q2bHhWumqcR5g8k. Yours is a complicated and personal issue ... if you would like further advice, we would love to connect with you on a free, 25 minute call with one of our Live On Purpose coaches. If you think that would be beneficial, please schedule the call here: DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall

[@ste6826]

Choose couples counselling with your wife and try to discuss what are the issues that are bothering you both. Take turns to speak and listen, and take action on any reasonable request. Put the kids first. You might be surprised.

[@daniboosalis6687]

But if the other parent is not a good person and does not set good examples for my children, how do you teach them it is not good if I cannot speak about the other parent? My mother never talked poorly about my dead beat alcoholic dad, and as a result I never learned that behavior from a man was not good. What is the line between lessons and enabling?

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Dani Boosalis, You can talk about behaviors and not talk about the person.

[@anxietyrecoverycom]

I would say that if it feels simple to label your father as a "dead beat alcoholic" then im sure that would great impact you as a child growing up with thinking of his identity that way. Just depends on how old you were.

[@rubikscube6722]

Can you please disclose if you have been divorced? Working with child custody cases is not the same thing as experiencing divorce and I will only take advice about divorce from someone who has actually experienced it.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

I have not been divorced. Vicki and I are still going strong, enjoying being grandparents.

[@sarinaabbi2906]

I think if the child is a teenager, their voice needs to be heard. The parents and the court can decide whatever they want but they are the one who will have to live through it, esp 'forced to accept something" was not part of the upbringing. Instead of seeing it as a burden in the big kid and hence conclude that they shouldnt be asked, why not see it as an opportunity for them to feel respected and have a say?

[@brack25c]

You could of talked to my parent back in the day--this would of helped.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Hopefully when we know better, we do better.

[@PianoDad]

Don’t think badly about the other parent? I just found out she committed adultery. How am I supposed to process this if I can’t think through it?!

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

You will likely need some counseling to process what must feel like betrayal. Keep your emotions to yourself and your therapist, do not involve your kids in them. It will take some time and work.

[@scopewaterclan5105]

Ur the man

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Honored to be on your team.

[@NEWDAISY5648]

I need more cow bell

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Jonathan Pedroza, thank you for watching.

[@kevindavis4709]

When parents talk bad about their spouse to their child. It teaches them how to be two faced going behind both of your backs talking bout y’all.

[@Twinkie989]

Eh. I will continue to see my ex as he is, and he doesn't look good when seen in a realistic light. I can still stay in my lane, save my thoughts and words about the ex for my hour with my therapist, and keep it out of the way during the rest of the week.

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Perfect! Thank you for sharing and showing that we have control over our behavior.

[@tiffytoo]

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@LiveOnPurposeTV]

Tiffany Elliott, it is a tough issue.