Living with Narcissism: A diagnosed narcissist opens up about his struggles, recovery and growth

Рет қаралды 8,381

Күн бұрын

DOWNLOAD AN EXERCISE TO HELP YOU BUILD SELF-COMPASSION AFTER A HURTFUL OR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP:
www.ruthannhar...
Join me and John from ‪@pdquestions7673‬ discussing his journey after being diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.
We discuss the diagnosis, how it is helpful and the limitations of diagnoses. The need to understand the conditioning and patterns we have inherited from our families and communities of origin. We discuss the change process, the need to welcome challenging experiences and emotions as part of the process.
#narcissism #personalgrowth #narcissisticmind #narcissist #NPD #healNPD #drruthann #clusterb

Пікірлер: 55

@everett8610 7 ай бұрын

Its nice to watch a conversation like this. I like therapists that make things more of a conversation and the client isn't visibly afraid of the therapist as one who has power over them. You can talk psych shop all day and it gets boring to everyone even the client quickly. And if the therapist has a lot of self worth issues on their profession they come across as the narcissistic therapist if that makes sense. I love when a therapist says they don't know. Its such an educated wise answer that can be so therapeutic.

@victoriavitoroulis3273 11 ай бұрын

My husband is a covert narc … now I know why he really enjoys owning his own business for over 30 yrs .. he gets all his supply In there … and nobodies telling him what to do 😵‍💫

@rv706 6 ай бұрын

Yes, sure, _everybody's_ husband is "a Narc" in the internet... [eyes rolling]

@pdquestions7673 Жыл бұрын

Thanks, Ruth Ann, for having me on your channel... really enjoyed the conversation & appreciate what you're doing. Hopefully we can talk again in the future 🙂

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

I will look forward to it John! Thank you so much for taking the time to do this and this will definitely not be our last collaboration!

@ravitsharma 9 ай бұрын

Of course the narcissist has a KZbin channel.

@ASoulHere 9 ай бұрын

Thank you for this discussion. It’s very helpful to hear both a healthy discussion on this topic and a narcissist’s viewpoint. Those diagnosed and openly discussing it seem to really working to understand it, help themselves and others. What isn’t really often discussed is the “inner view” of narcissism. The “outer view” is greatly discussed and seems to be one-sided or just a part of the whole picture. Both of you-keep up the good work! You’re helping us all move forward on understanding the causes so that we can learn and pass along less of it to future generations.

@rv706 6 ай бұрын

This guy is very smart and articulate, but being his therapist might be difficult: he has an incredible tendency towards intellectualization and abstraction, probably the reflection of a bright but restless mind. So, instead of getting real down-to-earth narrations of life events and real down-to-earth descriptions of the emotions they generated, the therapist - I imagine - might have to listen to endless theorizing and abstract "philosophy".

@pnwlady Жыл бұрын

So glad I found your channel. I appreciate this approach to personality disorders more than other mental health practitioners that seem pessimistic and condemning.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

Thank you 🙏 Glad you're here

@Mechanically_Speaking Жыл бұрын

John seems like he just needs a friend

@NarcissistHex-nf9eq Жыл бұрын

really good, thanks for sharing this, I am a narcissist as well.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

Thanks for listening ❤️

@NarcissistHex-nf9eq Жыл бұрын

maybe someday we can do a livestream together, My channel is Narcissist Hex, 197 subscribers, @@drruthannharpur

@gnomie2.0 Жыл бұрын

This conversation felt so deep and rich for me. I don’t have any “cluster B” diagnoses, but I relate so much to John’s perspective on what the work of recovery (or maybe “discovery,” if there wasn’t an original wellness to start with?) looks like “under the hood” of how any particular diagnosis has us steering our way through life. John, if you read this, I’m glad you were inspired and emboldened by others to also share your experience, perspective, and liberating insights! I was impressed with the breadth and depth of what you contributed to this conversation, and encouraged to keep going in my own complicated “discovery” process. Best wishes to you as you go on as well. 🙏🏼

@pdquestions7673 Жыл бұрын

Thanks a bunch, and best of luck to you 🙂

@dessaarnold7540 Жыл бұрын

I don't know, but ive seen many posts from people having to start their life over. It's not easy of course, but that's a lot of what he is saying in this video isn't it? But people do it all the time. And yes, the unknown can be scary. Sometimes we have to face the scary, and start from scratch. And that relates back to the compost pile.

@chilloften Жыл бұрын

Very good listen. Thank you for the efforts to raise human consciousness and awareness. 🦋🌲🌺🌸

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

Thank you 🙏

@averagejane09 8 ай бұрын

This is my favorite conversation on this topic that I have seen. Such compassion and thoughtfulness on the subject. I don't believe I have NPD. I believe I have other issues that I am ready to work on. I actually think I have toxic empathy if that term is actually a thing. This has made me susceptible to someone whom I believe is NPD possibly. He ticks off a lot of boxes and has been breaking my heart for 1.5 years now. I am bewildered and traumatized and wish things could be different but slowly ending this relationship. I really love this conversation. John is making his contribution to changing the stigma of this condition. He comes across as gentle and thoughtful, and not at all what one pictures with someone struggling with NPD. No monster here. I like his approach as well as Dr. Ruth's compassionate approach. Too many people are cruel about it. Removing the stigma will get more people to come forward for help.

@Tupperchicka 6 ай бұрын

@averagejane09 - I absolutely can relate to having what I’d describe as “toxic empathy.” I hope you’ve found resources to help yourself understand how to leave your possibly NPD relationship behind and avoid other relationships that cause your empathy to be abused!

@Jacquelinerenees 11 ай бұрын

For me, recovery looks like awareness. I still have the thoughts and feelings, I'm just aware enough of them that I can hopefully make a different choice.

@lisaripley2363 Жыл бұрын

It sounds as if his fear is once the pathology of his MPD is basically handled... What's left will not be sufficient to actually prosper or be able to function as a "normal" adult... Which makes perfect sense considering. How does one go about building 1's self from scratch at the age of 40,50, etc... very scary at best.

@everett8610 7 ай бұрын

Actually there are plenty of jobs and a wonderful life for these people. Who do you think picks up your garbage or mows your grass and cleans your gutters. And the literature shows these poor people are happier than the higher performing people. So its a give and take on these issues.

@MeCynthiaAnn Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing the things you have gone though with us here. God bless you.

@drruthannharpur Жыл бұрын

Thank you @MeCynthiaAnn

@dessaarnold7540 Жыл бұрын

Enjoyed this video thankyou. Reaching out to the unknown is definitely scary. Staying in the path that we are familiar with is so much easier, but not always better. In the end of life, at whatever time that is, would it be good to have found our true self? Would the title, riches, etc. Satisfy the heart? We only get 1 life here on earth.

@mariamaiff5115 11 ай бұрын

This was crazy helpful ! Thank you soooo much !! ❤ I really appretiated it..

@drruthannharpur 11 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏

@mariamaiff5115 11 ай бұрын

So much new insight..

@MeCynthiaAnn Жыл бұрын

Awww….Ruth is the name of my dad’s mom and Ann is the name of my mom’s mom. My middle name is Ann also.

@forestcat181 11 ай бұрын

Thank you for this interesting interview. It would be great if you could make a video or discussion on something which I think literally every youtuber on narcissism would say is a nono and returning to a trauma cycle - the possibility of going back to an abusive relationship and changing it, ie. breaking the cycle within the relationship, with new understanding and insight from the 'abused' person in the relationship leading the way.

@drruthannharpur 11 ай бұрын

Thank you for commenting 🙏 I know I take a more hopeful line re the possibility of change but going back to an abusive relationship isn't wise and can result in serious harm. Many people who have experienced abuse hold to a fantasy that they can change abusive behaviour in a relationship and help an abusive person to heal and become a better partner ... they can't. The only way forward for a relationship where there has been abusive behaviours is if both parties are actively involved in creating change in the relationship. The abused person cannot lead the way.

@forestcat181 11 ай бұрын

@@drruthannharpur Thank you for your reply. I think there's something about an abusive relationship that makes the 'victim' take on responsibility for healing it, maybe to heal themselves. One of the most difficult aspects of these relationships is working out if the 'abuser' really does want change or is just playing along to get their supply.

@averagejane09 8 ай бұрын

My heart goes out to you. I can relate to that hope. But Dr. Ruth is right. The abused person cannot lead the way. The only hope lies in the abuser wanting to change. To do that, they would have to see it. That seems to be the bottleneck. Typically they can't and do not want to see it. You can lead a horse to water but can't make them drink. And if you try to lead them there, you will likely get abused in the process and it will be for nothing because they still won't drink and in fact will turn the tables on you and attack. It is heartbreaking I know when it is someone you love. The only thing you can do is have radical acceptance and send them love from a distance. Then, you need to love YOURSELF. You count too. It is not healthy to put yourself in harms way, no matter how much you love someone. You need to heal too and figure out why you would. Sending you much warmth and love...take care of yourself.

@HRPFayetteville 2 ай бұрын

I think you have to welcome every first in your life. Just like when you're a kid and you first start walking, you took your first steps you took your first P. In the toilet you ate your first play the food with the Spoon all by yourself. All these first, and I think for emotionally immature. People they stop experiencing their first because of the adults start shutting them down. Stop asking questions. Stop having Fur thrilly.

@HRPFayetteville 2 ай бұрын

Especially? Nowadays, you have more single parent homes. All the burden is put on the caves. Because if you don't work then you all don't eat and you don't have money to pay your rent. And what do you think that puts on a child? When they hear you talking about that stuff. Get them to do what you want them to do. That's a real shame.

@HRPFayetteville 2 ай бұрын

The only care that the mental health system wants is care.That involves multiple medications.Please, I'm not enough people trying to get help.And they're sitting over here with fifteen to twenty medications following their doctor's orders

@Jacquelinerenees 11 ай бұрын

I'm super grateful that I have a capacity to go deep into myself and the ability to do the work because the root causes have allowed self acceptance. That's where I can change.

@MPR2007 9 ай бұрын

Inspiring, pray to the guy for his effort. Two thumbs!👍👍

@chaeldiongroup 11 ай бұрын

What a non-platitudes, highly insightful conversation. 🙏 Thank you, so much.

@drruthannharpur 11 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏 @PDquestions7673 and I are already discussing further collabs... so much to discuss!

@somexp12 11 ай бұрын

He sounds a bit like he has the opposite problem. Like he's so set on avoiding platitudes that he's unnecessarily verbose as he describes simple concepts. Or maybe these concepts are so new to him that the common language for them never entered his vocabulary. By the time he finally internalized this stuff, he had already created his own vocabulary to describe his experiences.

@josephmbimbi 5 ай бұрын

At first i was annoyed and found him super long winded for saying nothing (just like i am lol), but skimming through the video, i really enjoyed the message around 1h, i understand it as letting go of the expectations and welcoming whatever happens, welcoming the disconfort of actual experiences and interactions. I don't know what condition i have if any, but i find myself (unfortunately) resonating with a lot of NPD stuff, and i have a hard time dealing with myself and others if i don't comply, or if they don't comply to whatever i was envisionning or think is required. Leading to anxiety, procrastination, quitting, leaving jobs, ending relationship, stagnation and shame in every area of my life. I should start trying this "welcoming disconfort / disappointment / hardships" attitude

@HomeFromFarAway Ай бұрын

discomfort is an inevitable part of being a living thing

@vitalisakaloyski5758 10 ай бұрын

Seems to be perfectly fine person

@AngieSainty 4 ай бұрын

Until you get into a relationship with him.

@fionaarchibald502 Жыл бұрын

Amazing conversation. Loved the metaphors. Excellent.

@davidlewis6928 9 ай бұрын

So is this now the only way to succeed. Sell your broken parts and pretend a bit harder. Criptic honesty in exchange for supply. I dated a mental health nurse who spoke the same way, and it was all lies and projection. The day he gets tired or gets put in a un expected situation without notice of it. Dude will revert hard. Aggressive mimmicry in exchange for supply. Good luck to good people. Know your enemy.