loneliness at uni is very real

[@wolfgirl6083]

I’ve felt like there was something wrong with me for not being able to make close uni friends. It has been so so helpful knowing that others have experienced this too because it’s really not spoken about. The loneliness is so crippling and my mental health was at an all time low during uni. I’m starting my masters in a new course next year and I really hope things will be better❤️ Thank you for speaking about this I really needed to hear it

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

i really hope your masters will be better 🥺 i think as people get older/more mature they start to seek out valuable friendships, not the fleeting kind that happens a lot in year 1-3. you’re defo not alone, that’s for sure 🫶

[@julialeao2869]

This video made me cry because I relate so much. I’m from Brazil and came to Germany to study. Moving to a new country was hard, but I thought university would make things better. At first, I was motivated and hopeful, but over time, loneliness and insecurity took over. Struggling became my “normal,” and I grew numb to being isolated. I lived in a 7-person flat for almost four years. At first, I didn’t get close to my flatmates, but eventually, we started getting along. Then they moved out, and some self-centered 18-year-olds moved in. They treated the flat like a temporary dorm and didn’t care about the space or the people living there. It was sad, because for me, it was my only home. Over time, the lack of connection and constant indifference made the environment unbearable. Yet, I got so used to it that it started to feel normal, even though it was far from healthy. At university, things were no different. I didn’t make friends, and loneliness slowly eroded my self-esteem. The longer I was alone, the harder it became to socialize; it felt unnatural. I started believing that life was meant to be this way, that enduring loneliness was a sign of strength. Even when I looked for help, the isolation felt impossible to escape. The university’s cold and bureaucratic system only added to the sense of disconnection. Eventually, I accepted this life, even though it was making me sick. At first, I was such a different person. I was motivated, tried hard to fit in, attended social events and gatherings, but I slowly stopped trying. Reality hit me hard, and I became someone I never wanted to be: lonely, disconnected, and unable to see a way out. Now, I’m neither happy nor sad, just existing, always alone. But I have hope that I’ll be able to get better. The longer you’re alone, the harder it gets to reconnect. Loneliness takes something from you; it makes you forget how to connect and how those connections can bring joy and meaning to your life. Over time, it messes with your self-esteem, makes you doubt yourself, neglect your needs, and even believe that life is meant to be this way. It feels as though loneliness rewires your brain, making socializing feel unnatural and draining. Even though I have a few friends, maintaining relationships is exhausting. Everything feels temporary and fragile, as if it could disappear at any moment. This sense of impermanence makes it hard to trust or feel grounded, leaving you stuck in a constant cycle of isolation. What you experience for such a long time shapes the way you think and act, making you unconsciously seek these patterns and believe they are inevitable. So thank you, Christina. Hearing you share your story made me feel seen and understood.

[@matchalover08]

During the first day of uni I was very open and friendly to meet new people. I tried multiple times to invite them out for lunch but all of them said no. Some even pretended to be invested in this friendship but ended up ghosting me for no reason in the next semester. Some approached me to get assignment answers from me. When I needed help they couldn't do the same. I just stop making an effort to make friends, it's just too draining even though I feel lonely sometimes...

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

That's tough :( I'm so sorry people treated you that way, people forget the impact their actions have on others 😞

[@LJlnn]

same here. you put in effort, and it never works out

[@miaxikos4098]

We through the same thing. Im in my first year at uni rn and at the beggining of semester i invited so many people to drink tea or send them signals to make them invite me 😅 however, all of them was a fail. There are ppl who talking to me just because of class notes or not to look lonely but they are not sincere. It feels really impossible to find someone who we can socialize with without worrying abt being judged or looking clingy etc. at uni.. i hate looking lonely but i guess its better than loooking desperate to be friends with others. Btw how are you now, did you find friends?

[@LJlnn]

@@miaxikos4098 exactly, if u don’t try they say u never try, but if u try, u look desperate and clingy

[@SIGMAwoman_]

WHY IS THIS SOOO ME, WTF IS GOING ON? -an INTP

[@fourmilk6664]

omg the fact that you were able to make friends until your fourth year really gives me hope, thank you for this video

[@iconicjiji]

Honestly, that video really got to me. I’m going through the exact same thing right now, and it’s so hard. Every time I get home, I just feel this heavy weight, like I don’t even want to go back there. And during exams, it’s even worse. You see everyone working together, helping each other out, and then there’s me, just on my own.

[@Iluvmushrooms19]

I feel the same. Also, the feeling of not having someone who cares about you is tough. Like i had friends back in college that i still talk to and i really love them but they're far away now and nobody at my uni cares about me anymore, all my friendships now are formed because of lectures, we share notes with each other and that is it. I cant talk about my problems with them, i cant really trust them and i dont find them genuine. Rn my exams are approaching, i have 1 week left and im just in my dorm, trying to study by myself. Nobody knows what im doing except for my family. Nobody really cares. It's just sad because i genuinely think im a good person and a friend and i feel like people don't appreciate me.

[@iconicjiji]

we're on the same boat

[@anniezhang347]

and so true that people aren’t as friendly as people say in clubs

[@kimberlyjackson8343]

If you do choose to have some friends it's very important to choose your friends wisely and be careful who you trust and tell your problems to because everyone who smiles at you is not your friend

[@samu-chan]

this isn’t helpful lmao

[@shortcake772]

@@samu-chanshe’s telling the truth tho

[@kathrynswords6433]

thank you so much for this. I'm halfway through my first year and feeling insecure/stressed about not having close friendships. its really hard!

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

totally! people rarely talk about that side of uni, but it’s so common for so many of us

[@dijahdij]

This resonated with everything I've felt - I'm in my final semester of first year. Ive joined societies and even tried to strike conversations in class, but I can't help but feel iced out. Like I'll initiate something and sometimes get no response. Also maybe because I am an international student there's a divide between me and local students, but even with international students there are already cliques formed so I feel very out of place. I am mostly comfortable with my own company but it gets overwhelming like late nights I be crying sometimes, which sucks. Tbf I think it's just so far in the year no one's really open to making new friends as much but I'm still trying so I don't get to a point of no return. Loved the video btw definitely subscribed 💕

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

I feel you 🥺 I feel like when you're an outsider you become really self sufficient and you don't need to rely on people for anything, even company :( I was like that so much too at the start of uni, but sometimes it gets so overwhelming and you just want people around :(( I'm sorry you'd not had the most social first year but so many people I know made their genuine friends in the later years of uni, especially since you're a bit older and have come out of your shell more 💞

[@SkullTheGuy]

I feel you, i also tried to make friends in my 2nd year of uni, but i gotta say even tho im a local student, in most cases ppl alr formed cliques as you said and i feel like no one rly wants you to be in a group. And at the end i feel like they kinda want you to be closed out. So ye i also have to do everything myself but nevertheless i dont loose hope that i might work out in the future

[@dijahdij]

@@SkullTheGuy I hope it does work out for you! Almost a year later now and I mean I've made more friends which is always nice, still waiting on that one really close friend tho so I do still get lonely at times. Just keep in mind uni isn't where you'll be spending the rest of your life, that's what gets me through it anyways 🫶🏾

[@drea0317]

I love this video so much. First year flies and I’m already going into my 2nd in September. I’ve had lovely flatmates but for some reason we’ve never hung out one on one which is fine, but I’ve realised that if I’m not going out clubbing, I’m at home, bored. Accomodation rooms are so tiny as well so it makes it x10 worse. I look at my friends stories with their other friends & it makes me sad to see them having fun cooking dinners together & I’ve not had that opportunity yet.

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

I know what you mean 🥺from the outside looking in it always seems like other people are having the best time, but i promise that's not the case. There can be so much drama/fall outs you don't see, but I hope 2nd and 3rd year will be much better for you 💞

[@subrasiham]

Wow i am actually so happy to have found this video and seeing all the comments. This is exactly how i feel and knowing that i am not alone is really comforting. I have always heard that human beings are social creatures but i always had some close friends and i enjoyed my own company and it really didn’t hit me until this year(which is my 2nd year ). I really never thought i would feel like this. Uni is already stressful and not having close friends to go through this with really sucks.

[@taylarsweft893]

so more of this pls. this video helped me to cope with the loneliness

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

On it 🫡

[@maximiliansirzen6340]

It feels relieving a bit that other people are in the same boat. I'm in a similar situation to your freshers year (I'm also in medschool), lonely and depressed to the point that I started myself taking anti-depressants 2 weeks ago. It's winter break, our large single semester exam is on Jan 12th (can you imagine, a whole semester worth of material being tested in one exam pass or fail), and I'm so behind on many fronts to review. This mixed with loneliness is just the hardest time of my life so far. I came into uni with wayyyyyy too high expectations, which you mentioned, the "college experience" of meeting lots of friends, going out. So far I've only done smth outside of uni only twice this whoole semester. I know quite a few people, but like you said, everyone's doing their own thing, being busy, not even living in the same town as the uni so making plans is just even harder. Plus we have the option of looking at lectures live per zoom so towards the end of the semester, less and less people where coming to the point that only 30/200 ppl attend the lecture. I already struggled with anxiety and depression before uni, so this is just so much harder. But you're right about the mindset, I'm learning to accept myself and take it easy. It's just sad that it ended up this way. Idk if I could've made the freshman experience more enjoyable. It feels like my fault, but it's not, but also yes. Anyways I just relate a lot and will make an effort to meet people whilst keeping expectations low and knowing my value.

[@firstlast-ep5ru]

I don't know if you know but identity theft is illegal. Bro you're like me. I am engineering student who felt exactly like you my first year and still feel the same. I attended almost everything during intro weeks so I knew people here and there but then towards the end of the first semester people stopped coming (zoom/ recorded videos/ youtube). Like 40/250 students so the class was half empty. The lonliness started to eat me up cuz the closest people where miles away from me and everyone was in groups. I then gave up going to and started doing online. But the worst is our labs lol. Searching for a lab partner is such a nightmare.

[@Deedlanger]

I greet my college mates good morning and not a single reply. I entered a classroom and said good morning and no one bat an eye or a reply. Does not sound like it is an “I” problem

[@thesudaneseprince9675]

PARAGRAPH COMMENT ALERT! This video was one of the most validating ones I've watched, and I can attest to most of the things you've spoken about, plus or minus some things - I'm a 3rd year this year and I think I've reached my lowest point this year in this sphere but I've grown a lot since then, and I have to say in many ways this has been 1 of my best years in so many ways, thank God. I've increasingly felt like an outsider for a long time owing to my background, lifestyle, and admittedly the fact that I am pretty weird lol - Also I reckon owing to Covid and other factors I think I'm 2 years behind in terms of social development and I feel this is really my 1st year socially speaking - Ive made countless social mistakes and I can certainly say that loneliness can be a self perpetuating cycle (I realised this year that I had adopted some behaviours that would characteristic of social anxiety as a response to unfortunate social experiences) but I feel like I'm much more aware now and Ive actively started seeking out people that accept me for who I am and are interested in spending time together, and it certainly takes work and planning (you have to actively seek out people you've met that you have mutual respect with and ask them to spend time with you), and having enough respect for yourself to accept what is acceptable/unacceptable to yourself in terms of who you would call a friend - It's not easy to do and Im not where I want to be yet but Ive found 1. trying to challenge your faulty self evaluation (which gets even worse when you feel lonely as you tend to percieve your own actions as worse and other people's actions as rejection rather than acknowledging that there are many external reasons a person may act negatively towards you eg. they're hungry or they've had a difficult day etc.) 2. Remembering that unless a person is interested in you, which is a good sign, most people don't really care about the social mistakes you make, assuming you apologise for any wrongdoing. As far as social relationships go, I think the saying that "the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference" truly applies 3. Knowing that even if you are socially rejected, the horrible feeling that comes with that is to try and encourage you to find human connection, and you can and will survive it 4. Valuing HONEST, genuine connection over being nice/agreeable is absolutely paramount - it's hard, but politely/respectfully/humbly expressing your feelings and thoughts (the bad as well as the good) to people you feel safe doing so with (and to be honest Im starting to think I should do this with people I don't feel safe with, within reason) may lead to rejection in the short term but in the long term, the people you do form a relationship with will like you for who you are rather than trying to maintain a persona just to be accepted which is exhausting and wont lead to genuine connection even if you do maintain it, of all the lovely people I feel close with, the common factor with all of them is I have told them honestly about myself and I have been honoured by them being honest with me - Thank you again for this video, I'll get off my soapbox now 😅

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

This comment 🥺🥺 I couldn't have said it better myself about the challenging self evaluation, it what keeps perpetuating the cycle and it's keeps us stuck! It doesn't help when we've got so much evidence in our past of being an outsider like you said, it's awesome to hear you're heading in the right direction. I'm so proud💖💖 If it makes you feel any better, I kinda feel like I'm socially behind too lol bc of the tough time I had in school, I feel like I didn't socialise/learn how to form a friendship. But like you said as long as we make an effort to be genuine over being nice we'll attract real friendships, i could make a whole entire video on 'people pleasing' bc I have big problems with that 🤣

[@OmarO_721]

During my time at community college, I formed some great friendships. However, after we graduated with our associate degrees, life took us in different directions. Some got married or pursued new opportunities, while others transferred to larger universities for their bachelor's degrees. We still catch up on social media now and then, but it's not quite the same. Then, at the university I attended, which was quite small, I found myself among a much older crowd, making it challenging to connect with peers. I even tried joining a club, but it wasn't very active. Despite graduating with a 4.0 GPA, the loneliness I experienced in college was the toughest part for me, and the reason I despised my time in college so much. It was so intense that there were nights I found myself in tears, overwhelmed by the feeling of isolation.

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

I totally get how you're feeling, the feeling of loneliness can be all consuming, even more so when it's meant to be 'the time of your life' and everyone around you is seemingly having the best time. I hope things are better for you now, what are you getting up to these days?

[@ashleighgoldsmith3603]

The amount of times ive thought about offing myself just because of lonliness

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

hey ashleigh, i'm so so sorry, if you ever need someone to talk to, samaritans is always there 116 123 for me talking about how i feel (especially with loneliness) is always such a relief for me, feels like a weight lifted it's always best to tell someone how you feel 💭

[@hcy3964]

Saw your tiktok and came over to watch the full video!! Your tiktok really resonated with me and I’m honestly glad to hear that I’m not alone in feeling this way

[@monicarojas8268]

Same, it feels nice when someone can be as open as her so we can relate

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

so glad this helped 🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@sophiehappy003]

This video is so comforting. I've just finished first year and I commute to university so it's difficult to make friends, aswell as having anxiety which doesn't help either. I've been trying to fill my spare time up with lots of roles like photojournalist and peer guide- anything I can get my hands on to distract myself from feeling lonely because I just don't feel like I have anyone to turn to at university. I often just keep thinking nobody really cares if I'm there or not? I sometimes have this stupid mindset where I think I'm literally not in the same room as other people and I'm just an outsider that no one can see, just spectating other people's lives and I guess sorta- tryna live vicariously through them? I just don't have a social life lol. People are okay, some are awkward with me, but the majority don't want anything to do with me. I thought I was making a friend at one point but then she just kept making excuses not to be around me everytime she saw me so I let that go. Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things, yet feeling lonely really crushes me the most.

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

there's definitely a difference between the two, but just know it won't last forever ... 🥺 your people could be right around the corner and show up when you least expect it, that's what happened to me

[@ninabrown1437]

Thank you for this, feeling this right now honestly. My mh has defo suffered A LOT. So helpful to know that others feel the same. I’ve subscribed! x

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

You're defo not alone Nina! Thank you so much

[@ninabrown1437]

@@ChristinaAaliyah thank you lovely, good luck with medicine! Congrats on fourth year, I’m excited to keep up with the journey :) xo

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

@@ninabrown1437 thanks lovely 💖💖

[@ktj383]

This was so comforting to watch, thank you! I already relate to a lot of it and I don’t even start med school until September (potentially Newcastle too although I’m not sure yet). But you’re right about the mindset shift, this is what I’ve also learned myself. Those negative thought patterns can get very dangerous very quickly. I’m glad to hear you’re now having a much better time than you were though, that gives me hope :) Btw I’d love to watch more videos from you about the things they don’t tell you about uni

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

Literally, the negative thought patterns are the worst 😫 i can definitely make videos on that, i feel like a lot of videos out there just say to bring sliders and join societies but there's so much more 😭

[@tessdupei3259]

18:27 is SOO relatable, especially the boy part😭😭 I laughed out loud when you said that because that's 100% me🥲 But truly this whole video hits home for me right now, especially since this is my first year, and it made me feel less alone knowing that you've gone through something similar (unfortunately:,))! Thanks for sharing your story💞💕

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

I'm so glad this found you! I know it's something a lot of people struggle with, I'm just so glad it's getting talked about more and it makes me so happy you found this helpful ❤️

[@joyfadele3104]

@tessdupei3259 Same I'm also in my first year 18:27 is soo relatable for me too especially since I went to an all girls sixth form and secondary school 😅.I go university of nottingham.where do u go?

[@lilitakacs6723]

I love how honest this video was. I think it had a lot of good advice in it

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

🥹

[@nirina1445]

Hello ! I really liked your video! I relate to some extent. Especially the part about « being excited about the bare minimum » omg it’s so relatable !!!! Sometimes even a little « and you » is enough to want u to become friend with that person but that’s just bare minimum!

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

Totally 😭 glad you resonated with this one Nirina 💞

[@vi_toria_]

it's been hard getting through everything alone, but ok I'll make it out of it

[@bookishmoo]

This video resonated with me so much, I’m American but I feel like a lot of the issues you talked about here also apply to college experience in America. I really wish there was some way to make it easier students who are struggling to reach out and find other students who are struggling socially because I feel like a lot of us might be pretty compatible with each other.

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

I totally agree! There are so many of us lonely in our rooms with no one to talk to, I just wish there was a way for us to find each other

[@rhens8088]

in order to make friends through mutuals, you need to have friends first.

[@nataliemorales9362]

​@@joyfadele3104 this has totally happened to me before too. it's almost a bit embarrassing when it happens too. but i feel like those people lack the sense of intimacy within friendships despite having a large quantity of friends. i just wish people would become more open.

[@fourmilk6664]

i wish I saw this video on my first year in uni, because I haven't made any effort and expected people to just come in my life. unfortunatly it didn't happen and by the first year the friendgroups we already made and now whenever I try to get myself into a group they make me feel like an outsider and reject me, I guess people just don't have energy to add a new person to their group. I don't know what to do. I see myself in your experience with societies because it also didn't work for me. and they make me more sad than being alone. I just wish I can find one person to hang out with. I'm also in medschool and during rotations it gets really bad, where I'm left alone and have to do anything by myself, while others collaborate and work together on tasks. I try to get myself in their friendgroup but they seem very distant, I even start doubting they hate me?. I'm also having the same group for next year which make me really sad. As a solution I just focus on my studies for next few years and during weekends visit family to fell less alone.

[@joanne0]

I am so happy I came across this video. I don't ever use TikTok but I happened to open it once and it led me to watch this video. Anyways, yeah I am in first year and I am honestly having the worst time ever. I just cannot describe it, I haven't drank once or been clubbing or been out even though that is/was my dream in uni. I think the mindset problem is a HUGE thing like especially growing up as the only Black person my entire life, I have subconsciously adopted the outsider mindset and I can never escape it. It doesn't help that I go to Oxbridge and I am still one of only 2 black people in my college. I just cant seem to shake that anxiety wherever I go. In first term I went to ACS thinking I'd finally have Black friends for the first time in my life but because I am quite white washed and shy it did not go well at all :( so now I just don't know what to do. I think a benefit to a medicine degree (despite how its so difficult and stressful) is that you have more than 3 years so you dont have to worry about time running out to make friends. On the other hand, I am 1/3 of the way through university with nothing to show for it... maybe I should have applied for STEM

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

We've had such a similar experience 😥 I was the same literally never went out in first year and I was the only black girl at my school (although I don't go to oxbridge looool) and when I went to ACS I felt like I didn't fit in at all so I never went back 😫😫🙃 I was speaking to my therapist and she said this kind of outsider experience has a huge impact on your self esteem and your outlook on yourself, so you're not alone and you shouldn't feel bad for thinking this way. Anyone in a similar position would struggle the same way you & I do :( I'd say people at uni are similar to school in the sense that once they've made their friends they can be quite fixed and not interested in making more. Meeting people outside uni at gym classes/grown up stuff could work. I know for medicine in year 3 onwards people are a lot more open to making friends

[@a.a1637]

Hello, I might not be in Uni yet, but I soon would be ( I am a year 13 going to take a gap year ). Since I have a similar experience growing up as the only black female and I guess shy as well , I was wondering if there was any university that is more likely to find other black females with similar experiences ? This is such a bad question but I am just curious. I literally terrified for this experience of loneliness since sixth form is already tough as it is for me.

[@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise]

Black guy at oxbridge as well, it’s hard out here

[@joanne0]

@@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise lol obv dont wanna expose too much on here, but which one? ox or camb. i go to ox and am at one of the smaller colleges so vibes r a bit off tbh now im in 2nd year things r slightly better since i feel a lot less pressure to do certain things. like i do wish things were better, but the nagging feeling has minimised now

[@LondonMoneyCashEnterprise]

@@joanne0 yeah I’m second year as well but I go Cambridge. I feel the opposite tho, second year has been hard, didn’t fit into any friendgroups at my college first year so this year I feel like I’m barely close to anyone except for a few friends who are from other colleges or have their own groups

[@ibrahimahmed3469]

You say to get more friends through mutual friends, this might be a dumb question but how do you get that first friend 😭😭

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

No it’s a good Q!! 😅 I made like acquaintances on my course i guess, then meet up for coffee/go for meals outside of uni so you get to see them in non lecture time, then it’ll build from there 🤍

[@jasminmuir4333]

i’m in first year and i’d say make the most of social media when you first move in!! i made one of my closest friends by asking in a group chat if anyone who lived near my accom was free and wanted to explore the city with me/go for a walk. 2 girls replied to my message, we just got to know eachother a bit and then from there we would go to events/societies/clubs together and got to meet new people. i was soo nervous to send that message in case i’d get aired but i’m so glad i did because that’s the only reason i have found my people in uni! hope this helps and good luck i’m sure you be fine :)

[@potato1084]

This is the problem!!! I had one mutual friend in sixth form and it led to me making so many friends. Uni is completely different.

[@potato1084]

@@jasminmuir4333 Yeah but if you’re a commuting student it’s different and a lot harder to make friends.

[@peeb2904]

100% agree with everything you said in this video and not many people talk about it enough. i’m in first year going into second year, got unlucky and didn’t have the best flatmates or many people in my course. Also had to work 2 jobs to afford my rent too 😭 so found it hard to have a balance - but it is what it is. my only advice to anyone would be to PRIORITISE your mental health bc it is gonna be hard, try and surround yourself with good people even if you don’t have many friends and keep going for you !!

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

You're so right, I feel like no one ever talks about the financial side of uni too, but coouldn't've said it better myself. MH needs to be number 1, bc a lot of unis wont do much to support u in that area 😫 having the right people around you is key, can take a while to find them but it makes it all worth it

[@xinchaodefeng08]

Agree with your posts but as an introvert I see it as a plus. There’s been too much forced interaction at school, uni is a breath of fresh air.😂

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

I'm glad it has been for you

[@Madawi19]

I just finished my 3rd week everyone has made friends except for me 😢idk it’s just heavy feeling and I always blame it on my weight and anxiety I miss my long distance friends

[@nareamukami937]

What uni?

[@Stinkycorgi]

I was in med school for a year and now switched to drntistry (didnt get in first try woops). My first year uni experience was debilitating.. i still need to process how i got so lonely. I hope my second “first year” is better:)

[@Iberisnana]

I'm going into my second year now, been feeling like this since my last year of high school. It's awful. Everyone either has their own groups formed or have no interest in forming any connections, so it's rather easy to get left out. The only time I spoke to anyone is only related to uni work. I hear barely anyone open up and talk about this, so I'm glad to see I'm not alone struggling with this. I was about to try societies groups but I saw just how much effort you have to put in and i don't have that much energy, espescially to people who won't be bothered to interact with new people.

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

Ikr, it seems like some groups are so fixed and people just aren't interested in meeting new people :( I know this is so common I just wish more people spoke about this, I've noticed in the later years of uni people make more of an effort, seems like they wanna branch out more and not just have one friendship group ...

[@zhanaehagan5971]

I feel like it's the same with studios in student accommodations. You have to go to other flats to make freinds. Always looking at other people having freinds and you not having them can also cause anxiety and depression, no matter how juvenile it sounds.

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

you're so right, i know some people in studios and it's way harder to be social 😓 it's not good for your mh :((

[@chrissyfush]

Idk, I'm about to move out of my accommodation in shared halls, I didn't make any friends in my building and had to live with loud and dirty flatmates... I can't wait to move into a studio next year, at least I can be lonely in peace

[@zhanaehagan5971]

@@chrissyfush My sister was in the same predicament. In flats it's more likely that you will make freinds but sometimes that's not true. What uni and course are you doing if you don't mind me asking?

[@Void_Dweller7]

I've cut out lots of toxic people, I have searched far and wide for connection in this dumb university but they're just too cold, cliquey, and shallow. I hate this experience so much, and it does not feel possible for anything to change.

[@McAlli44]

I really like this video because it is so relatable. I've experienced a lot of the things you're talking about, and I'm just at the end of my 1st year. Things do get better as you said though, and I'm feeling more positive than ever. I was surprised when you mentioned Middlesbrough as that is where I am actually it's so crap here lmaoo Great video! :D

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

omg small world! literally everyone i speak to says the same about middlesbrough 😂😂 nobody is a fan 🤣

[@irrdina]

I experienced and feel the same way as u. I thought im alone in this.

[@Brown_Barbie24]

I couldn't agree more

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

you're not alone

[@Fiery.Queen.]

Yeah it did make me feel bad 🥲 but knowing that I’m not alone helps me more it’s my third year in uni and I do have friends but no close ones which really hurts me 😢

[@alishanziro6011]

i love you so much thank you 😘

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

love you more, you're welcome 💖

[@jamesgraham6492]

I'm going to uni this year but staying at home. Ngl cause my course is quite small like 35 people is hope is isn't so isolating .

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

Yeah i know what you mean, i think with small courses it can go either way. It can be good bc it's tight knit, which might make you all close, but then again it could make everyone cliquey too :((

[@emilyjones5888]

Love you queen, you should never be lonely with us around lol xxx

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

I certainly am not 🤪🤪 them lonely days are over 😭

[@DelilahVega-qd5qd]

Okay im 15 coming to this, i feel like i relate to people who tend to be older so i do feel like ive matured way faster than my grade. but ive just felt lately like something’s wrong with me and its been keeping me from making friends, i really don’t get it i come with boundaries of “no talking bad about people, being kind and honest, Christian so i wanna talk about God and learn and grow with people” and i just feel like im struggling to find people who even meet those standards and it’s sooo hard cause im picky with who i surround myself with cause small circles cause big influence and i want that i just want it to be a good influence you know? ❤😊

[@irrdina]

You look like such a nice person, I would love to be your friend ❤

[@anniezhang347]

i need help. im feeling extremely lonely and what’s been making it extra worse is that my roommates all have friends and they’re always hanging out together in the dorm. two of my roommates are best friends, so i’ll always hear them laughing and stuff in the other room. but that’s not even the worst part, the worst is that my third roommate, i am good friends with, but most of the time i’ve been seeing her recently she’s been with her other friend in the dorm. and that’s what hurts… because i know i’m not as close to her as she is to others but is just rubs in my face that i didn’t manage to make close relationships and she did. and so many times i’m being also fifth wheeled in the dorm

[@deleting1118]

Did your situation get any better?

[@zeno9410]

so real

[@helin1152]

I have been struggle of feeling that I have a problem about keep my friendships healthy even though they have lot of red flags and whenever I look other classmates or students they have a lot of friends and happy… I can’t help myself thinking that I am the problem 😔😔

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

don’t be too hard on yourself, I let red flags slide too + I’ve only realised now it’s bc I’m a people pleaser and don’t have boundaries. it’s tough to hold ppl accountable

[@gembird3122]

I am the oldest in my entire school. I've joined societies, I'm older than them all too 😔

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

a bunch of my friends are older/grads, it won't be an issue around the right people

[@ninjapirate123]

This means looking for a bf or gf in uni is very hard too

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

fax

[@Amelia-he6fm]

This is me but in college I feel really left out and like idk the people I hang out with yet they seem so close any advice :)

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

I've noticed I get a lot closer to people when I see them outside of uni/college, see if you can arrange a coffee or meal or something :)

[@jamesgraham6492]

Hi also my I honestly never knew this stuff happened. My brother who's shy made many friends. Went to NTU is course has like 15 people in it and they would all go out bowling together and stuff. Plus 2nd year would help 1st year's and the uni interacts with the other course to get course work done. Eg. Designing course work with the science courses.

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

That sounds so nice, I guess it differs depending on the uni, is NTU a smaller uni? Maybe this only happens at the bigger ones

[@jamesgraham6492]

@@ChristinaAaliyah ntu is a big uni but the campus he was on has like only 1000 max people.

[@InvestiqueOfficial]

facts

[@j.h8758]

did you find that antidepressants helped you? I'm at the lowest point of my life rn but im not sure if i should take them

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

heyy, they did help me a little, even if it was just a placebo effect. what helped the most was speaking to someone about it, i couldn't get therapy for a while so just opened up to my mum. It's such a tough thing to go through alone so I'd reach out to someone for sure 🥹

[@j.h8758]

@@ChristinaAaliyah thank you!

[@Keep-Believing-Mark536]

Just remember the greatest thing a person can give you is love. And Love does not come from man, it comes from God. Never worry about keeping the right people. Put your trust in God, God has already lined up the right people for your life, people who are so true to you that you won't be able to keep them away from you. But before you can meet those people you have to learn that the best friend you will ever have is Jesus. Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother. Put God first in your life and all else will be provided for you. Just hang in there. Trust in God, Jesus is tha friend who sticks closer than a brother. Seek God first and all else will be provided to you. God will send the right people into your life. Submit to him and he will make your paths straight.

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

thank you

[@Keep-Believing-Mark536]

You're welcome. Have a Blessed day.@@ChristinaAaliyah

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

time stamps xoxo 0:00 preview 0:36 intro 1:51 why u feel lonely 3:48 anxiety makes it worse 5:13 societies 10:20 flatmates 12:45 self-esteem 17:49 when you get excited over the bare minimum 21:24 how to actually make friends (mindset shif

[@fs9319]

Thank you so so so much. I don’t feel so alone anymore 🫶

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

you certainly aren’t 🥺 glad this helped 🫶🏾

[@Its_iraaa]

I really needed this video, as I am an Introvert and struggle to make friends... This video just made me so motivated and good about myself. Thank you so much!🩷

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

Target audience reached 🥹

[@drea0317]

Your video really helped though. I loved hearing about your experience 🫶🏾

[@ChristinaAaliyah]

Glad it was helpful Andrea 🥹