Looking back at Soul Food 25 Years Later

[@LilShopofAli]

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around how some of you guys feel that Teri standing up for her little sister was somehow worse than what Lem did. I thought we could agree that siblings defending each other was a good thing but what do I know? 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@MayMay-el4wg]

You not wrong! My siblings and l defend each other against outsiders. Period. Hell, even cousins will jump in depending on what’s going on.

[@faith2xxx]

I appreciate your honest assessment of this movie. The issues you pointed out were valid and on point. I remember having a convo with some of my family members after watching this in the theater, and we pointed some of the same things out. Standing up for your sister is one thing. Standing up for your sister and putting your law license and career in jeopardy, and risking arrest for plotting against her husband with another criminal is another. Yes Lem was out of order for how he handled the situation, but never expect someone to put your livelihood at risk over someone else's bad decision. Bird knew who and what she was marrying. What Terri did with calling the thugs on Lem and then calling in a favor from the prosecutor is what's wrong with the justice system and Black people. I have a family member who was a registered nurse when her son's crazy baby momma came over breaking windows and tried to burn him in the face with a cigarette. She saw blood and lunged at her and managed to get a lick in, but her son and husband held her back because they were afraid she would lose her license if she kicked her butt. Instead, they did the sensible thing by calling the police who whisked her away in cuffs. The first question the police asked was if the family member hit her, and if so was it open handed or closed fist. A closed fist would have meant BOTH would have been arrested, she would have a record and bye bye nursing license. Stand up for your family, but don't break the law yourself by doing so. Terri was still bitter over losing Kenny to Maxine, and you can clearly see this by what she said to him before the altercation between her and Miles. However, I also understand why she would get tired of the family running to her for money. Especially since Kenny went out and randomly bought a computer, fax machine and printer, for an infant, which back in 1996-1997 would have been around $3k to $4k. In regards to Mother Joe 's health, sometimes you NEED to point out the obvious to people who aren't taking care of themselves health wise. How do we know that they didn't try and remind her gently about watching what she ate? The movie didn't cover this, so we'll never know. I have family members who left this earth in their thirties and forties because of health issues not kept in check, from stroke, heart failure, renal failure, etc. Even some of the elderly ones would get upset and proclaim "you're a child, I'm an adult." The fact that Momma Joe was adamant about not having her leg amputated is probably a result of what they may have warned her about, but of course the movie didn't cover. By the way, this was a movie about a fictional, dysfunctional family, not a documentary. I'm sure the movie as it was filmed probably, hopefully, opened up dialogue about family dysfunction, loyalties and relationships. Sometimes, we need to see the ugly in order to get a reality check. I'd rather see real family dysfunction that doesn't include black folks killing one another, loud mouth over sexualized/exaggerated black females, and selling drugs.

[@reneedennis2011]

@@faith2xxx Excellent points!

[@everydaylifewithtaboo6698]

That just goes to show the normalization of violence against black women and how comfortable people are with it, but no let's blame the wife for trying to help her husband thats a felon. Whom she had no business marrying in the first and took no accountability for anything. Then he didn't say thanks or I'm sorry ever....

[@karatekoala4270]

@@everydaylifewithtaboo6698 you're missing the fact that it wasn't the help that Lem was mad about, it's how she helped. She flirted with an ex that she KNEW wanted her, wore his bracelet and agreed to go to dinner with him. That was foul! As often as women say, "don't have me out here looking stupid" how can you not see that wasn't the way to go about it. It wasn't a, "hi, I'm a family friend and Bird asked if I could help you get a fair shot based on experience and not your background. How are things?" What Lem got was a slick dude talking greasy in his face about his new wife with clear intent to hit given the next chance. At the bar he was minding his business when a random man walks up on him and bust him over the head with a bottle. Y'all act like Lem was completely out of control and a walking time bomb when he was clearly provoked again and again.

[@catspaw3092]

My issue with Mama Jo is she never taught her other two daughters any common sense especially when Maxine stole Teri's ex bf from her & later marries the man. She expects Teri to tolerate everything & take it because she's not only the oldest but the only one of her daughters who became successful why not teach all three daughters to be successful & pick better partners Mama Jo? I always felt for Teri more than anyone else in the movie.

[@jakimsingletary164]

Yeah poor Terri, I wouldn’t be surprise if She wasn’t Papa Joseph daughter with Big Mamma having in affair with maybe Faith’s Daddy (Momma Joe was Max) or Papa Joseph’s friends or his War buddies. Ahmad quoted her in saying we all have skeletons and I bet Momma has plenty lost and found ones in hers. Max is supposedly the strongest one in Momma Joe and The Father’s eyes but it was Terri who the strongest by holding the family down financially with her successful career as a attorney. All of that with no Thank you, appreciation or support for Terri 🤦🏾‍♂️.

[@catspaw3092]

@@jakimsingletary164 I never thought about that Mama Jo might've cheated on her hubby & had Teri by someone else & she kept it hush hush because if it got out then her kids & those around her would never look at her the same way again. And poor Teri would really feel like the odd man or woman out Max & Birdy would be her half sisters. Momma Jo isn't the saintly matriarch everyone thinks she is she had to lose a limb in the hospital because she hasn't been taking care of herself like she was suppose to.

[@jakimsingletary164]

@@catspaw3092 I agree as much as I appreciate Momma Joe being the matriarch of the family in holding it down with the 40 year tradition in Sunday Dinners, but was she wasn’t a saint and was shady as hell. She was so busy picking on Terri and laughing with Max at the fact that Terri was on Husband #2 while praising Max in putting her on a high pedestal while looking the other way at her messy behavior (Including Her stealing Kenny from Terri) along with Cousin Faith’s. God don’t like ugly Momma Joe was all over Terri but failed to look after her health ignoring Doctor’s orders in not taking her insulin and she kept eating forbidden food that made her sick causing her the lost of a leg 🦵 and in a coma for weeks then sadly her death.

[@catspaw3092]

@@jakimsingletary164 Yeah, if you have more than one kid you don't play favorites if Max stole her sisters man me as a mom I would be tearin Max's a$$ up. And make her apologize to her sister & tell her to get rid of Kenny then I would lay into my other 2 daughters & tell them to get a good job so they won't be using their older sister as a cash cow. I mean really, Momma Jo allowed Birdy & Max to get away with murder nope, all 3 of my kids are going to be the best they can be & tell them to pick good partners if one doesn't work either stay single or go find another one. I like to think karma got Momma Jo she wasn't making good choices about her life, her children & health so she lost her leg & eventually her life. I know people are going to jump on me hard for this comment.

[@jakimsingletary164]

@@catspaw3092 No i understand, it’s your opinion and I agree. Your not alone everyone said the same in Momma Joe being a messy hypocrite. Momma Joe wasn’t really mother of the year. She played favorites with Max and Bird while treating Terri like a stepchild. She look the other way when Max stole Kenny from Terri by telling her to get over it. Instead of straightening Max out when Max was suppose to chaperone the date instead not be cousin Faith in getting Kenny’s attention in seducing him. Momma Joe is the reason why Max and Terri don’t get along because of the bullsh*t chaperone rules. Momma Joe was Max when she was young and look just like her for Uncle Pete to call Max his sister’s name twice after Max told him who she was. I wonder what happen to Uncle Pete for him to stay in his room and never came out for years until days after Momma Joe was laid to rest, he must of saw the light or God told him something. There’s another example of a skeleton and that’s Uncle Pete in why Momma Joe hid him from everyone instead of her getting him some help or special care as it’s said for years (According to Terri). Terri was the only one with brains in that family especially when she protested against having Sunday Dinner despite Momma Joe being in coma because of those dinners she was forbidden to eat by doctors. Terri was looking for her and everyone’s health after Momma’s Joe’s experience. Max just wanted to call shouts in running the family including volunteering Terri all the time financially and for anyone in need (like Cousin Faith), basically saying who died and made her boss. That’s what Terri was referring to as Max being jealous. Terri was real good sister to both Max and Bird (despite Terri and Max not getting along) paid for them financially. She was protecting Bird when Terri thought Lem beat her up and when Max went into Labor Terri asked her what the Doctor’s number but ignored her twice. Terri was neglected when it came to her frustrations and needs. Her tripped and fell at the skating rink while Kenny was too focused on Max in her seduction.

[@hindenburg2006]

Maybe because I'm an oldest sister, but I understood where Terri was coming from. Why is it our responsibility to pay for everything or clean up our siblings' messes? Pay for your own wedding🙄 Maxine was a master manipulator, and Bird was just used to being babied... And your ending was hysterical!🤣

[@GameOn71213]

Parents have a way of guilting is older kids...but the funny thing is, when we are left out, we feel hurt

[@myhunny2006]

As the oldest sister I'm definitely the one that pays for everything. Makes me feel used 🥹

[@teemmm538]

The amount of dysfunction disguised as normal family behavior is scary 😲😲

[@faith2xxx]

It's more realistic really because no family can be considered as "normal." Some may be less dysfunctional and some more. We just don't like to see it being displayed on the silver screen.

[@sickofguysnamedtodd2293]

This is black family life for you tho. I talked with an older cousin of mine about a year ago and he told me about some stuff that blew my mind. I mean I knew we had some dysfunction, but i wasn’t keenly aware of just how deep the rabbit hole went. And just like in this movie, we all tried to put on a front to try and hide the stuff that was going on behind the scenes.

[@kntayloe880]

Terry actually is similar to Mother Jo in that she takes care of everyone .. Terry being the oldest sibling is guilted in to paying for everything ..

[@dickersonr6172]

Yep! And that’s how selling the house came up. Vivica A Fox told Terri to pay bills n they pay her back later smdh.

[@GameOn71213]

@@dickersonr6172 max was wrong as hell, roasting Terri for not being able to cook, gurl pay yo bills

[@sickofguysnamedtodd2293]

@@dickersonr6172seriously tho, how you gonna sit here and volunteer MY money. Just unlocked a whole new level of audacity.

[@MsMelyjean]

Why did they feel it was OK to push the shady cousin into Terri and her husband's house? Consider this: could part of the reason that Terri has to be careful with money and risk can't financing her husband's dream is that all her money is in the sister's wedding, the sister's beauty shop, every single thing that they collectively decided Terri should pay for?

[@LilShopofAli]

That’s a good point I didn’t think about that. I wish there was a moment in the movie where Teri maybe brought this up. But they couldn’t cause Teri has to be the villain for some reason. Which is frustrating

[@Silly_u1908]

@@LilShopofAli it’s brought up in the wedding reception that Terri pays for everything. Terri is also helping Maxine financially, the mother’s medical expenses, and likely Bird’s expenses once the baby comes. To be the sole financial supporter for an entire family is stressful; coupled with the trauma of watching her mother sacrifice herself for her husband and family while the father gambles the money away.

[@catspaw3092]

Max should've paid for her own wedding since she was the one getting married especially to her sister's ex talk about a major slap in the face. Teri should've said "Hell no, you're marrying my ex you're not getting any financial help from me." I'll bet Momma Jo guilt tripped her own daughter into paying for Max's wedding I wouldn't care if my mom begged me I'm not paying for my sister's wedding. Can you imagine how much money Teri would've had in her account had she not paid for her sister's wedding & beauty shop? If I were her I would've got another law job in another state & left my family to fend for themselves they're grown a$$ adults let them solve their own money issues. If Teri lost her job would they step in to help her? Probably not & don't get me started on why Max & Birdy couldn't have taken Faith into their homes they probably knew they didn't want her hitting on their men. Instead Teri's 2nd marriage comes to an end when she sees Miles & Faith going at it then she unleashes her fury at the party. Then she breaks down into tears & no one rushes to her side it took a few seconds for Birdy to embrace & comfort her also isn't it ironic Nia Long goes on to play a lawyer herself in another movie?

[@faith2xxx]

@@catspaw3092 Teri's marriage was coming to an end long before Faith moved in. Unfortunately, he presence and the incident was the final nail in the coffin. Faith should have come prepared for her own living arrangements instead of assuming she would have someplace to stay.

[@GameOn71213]

@@faith2xxx yeah but remember Terri was paying for everything, like literally everything that could have put a strain on their marriage. Also thats probably why Terri wanted to be careful with money but in the tv series, Terri meets a man much better And marries Damon

[@corlenajames1381]

I always hated this stereotypical movie and that toxic family. Also, Terri, (aka ATM) should've gone low or no contact with that leeching family, smh. PSA 🗣️Boundaries are our friend. Set them. Stop telling everybody your financial business.

[@Mrs.buildingblackwealth]

Right

[@Silly_u1908]

Unfortunately it’s the 90s and implementing healthy boundaries has not yet been widely accepted in the BC. To be honest, it still isn’t. Mama Jo is of the generation of where women suppressed their feelings and were continuously pushed to sacrifice herself for the betterment of others. I believe she passed those same principles to her daughters. In Terri’s case, she’s the oldest, a high earner, and is expected to take care of her family as her mother did - at her own expense.

[@dickersonr6172]

They knew her financial business based on where she lived and where she work…

[@thewordsmith5440]

I still like the movie.

[@faith2xxx]

Unfortunately, a lot of the stuff covered in the movie isn't/wasn't stereotypical. This stuff happens in real life.

[@JMac7395]

Big Mama comes from an era where you didn't talk about those hurtful, traumatizing & shameful moments because it would embarrass or tarnish the family name. Big Mama comes from an era where people suppressed all negative emotions & refused to resolve conflicts face to face. Resulting with a lot of fake family love, resentments & generational trauma being passed down. Big Mama carried those methods while bringing up her own family. Which is why when she got sick & died the family completely fell apart. Only when the family confronted each other with hard truth did they begin to heal & build true unity & love for each other.

[@angelaholmes8888]

Totally agree with you

[@arielleharris624]

It was so frustrating when no one comforted Terri after she told them about Miles. Like…??

[@mbalenhlebuthelezi3198]

Soulfood the series, really did a fantastic job with all the characters, the storylines etc.. The series were superb

[@andrewcrawford4635]

Exactly.

[@stephaniegreen6811]

I was about to type the same comment. The movie was just an introduction to the characters. I really liked the series!

[@faith2xxx]

Yes, and it gave us more insight into the characters. All of them were jacked up.

[@andrewcrawford4635]

@@faith2xxx 😆

[@ScarFeiss]

Remember Malik? Lmaooo

[@aGwEENapple]

This little boy knows way too much about the adults business (now looking again as I'm older)

[@ATLKing404]

Well they talk so damn loud😂😂

[@sheresemd7231]

How dare Maxime try to give a speah about protecting a man's pride when she doesn't protect Teri's feelings as a woman? Also Teri didn't support her husband's music dreams because she would have to financially hold everything down. Have you seen the movie Crooklyn? That's what would have happened to Teri.

[@desireejaye343]

Totally disagree that Maxine was the strongest in the family it just seemed like favoritism was pinned on her because she was more into a domestic lifestyle than Terri

[@GoddessofMusicTv]

Thiiiiiiiiiiiis✨✨✨👏🏾

[@csbaby1620]

And another thing why is Terri paying for the utilities and the taxes on Big Mama's house if Lem and Bird are living in said house? If I was Terry I would have been fed up too. I've paid for your wedding, your salon and I'm literally paying the utilities and the taxes of the house you live in if y'all don't leave me alone LOL.

[@jambrook1978]

Your narration is killing me! Your tone is so dead pan comedy! I love it.

[@aliliv9384]

I don't think it her throw her money in their face. It just that anything money wise the family always depends on her and don't think maybe we need to find other avenue now and then. I don't understand why big momma have all that money in the tv if your family is struggling like that while terry is footing all the bills and whenever any major happening it on her that's beyond unfair. If Maxine always point that out I mean ur the strong one why don't you step up once in awhile.

[@ArtTheSinger]

Because she knew it would always be money issues. I’ve learned you have to have money saved and still be hungry at times.

[@dallasbad89ify]

This movie definitely happens in real life. This movie is a classic. Byrd was wrong for entertaining her ex regardless if she was trying to help her husband. If it was the other way around she would most likely automatically think he was fu**img her

[@LilShopofAli]

I’m not necessarily saying it was right but I don’t feel that justifies Lem’s response. Also he was grinding on his ex at their wedding party and she never said anything to him about that.

[@Mrs.buildingblackwealth]

If she wanted to help, she should've helped filling out some applications. ☆side note why did I get married too, Jill Scott Character did the exact same thing

[@dallasbad89ify]

@@Mrs.buildingblackwealth exactly

[@thewordsmith5440]

She was wrong for marry Lem.

[@daniellevinson6975]

@@thewordsmith5440 Hard to disagree with that!

[@sandrasneed4673]

The food was the focal point and the best part of the movie. I loved the tradition of Sunday dinner growing up and into young adulthood and this movie stirred up fond memories of our family coming together over a great soul food dinner, regardless of life's problems. Unfortunately, most families have some level of dysfunction.

[@andrewcrawford4635]

Tell it!!!! I agree 100%.

[@laladeville8984]

Soul Food is one of the movies that is very hard for me to watch. After you broke down these points, now I know why I don't ever watch it. It's a very mysogynistic movie in my opinion.

[@LilShopofAli]

Yeah it’s infuriating at times, I don’t blame you

[@Not_Always]

a movie about women solving all the men's problems is misogynistic?

[@leonardbrown1725]

Why is Lem’s ex at their wedding reception? 🤔 nevermind continue. Great content lol 💯

[@faith2xxx]

I'm thinking Simuel had something to do with the ex being there.

[@leonardbrown1725]

@@faith2xxx facts

[@MamiTT237]

She crashed it… she wasn’t invited and Lem’s drunk ass apparently forgot where tf he was and that he’s now a married man and acted a fool

[@leonardbrown1725]

@@MamiTT237 straight disrespect from both of them. Wylin at the reception

[@bettymiller3999]

That wedding scene when Lem's ex and Bird's ex show up at the wedding always got me. Like, who was messy and enough of an instigator to invite both the bride and the groom's exes???? That was just soooo trifling on so many levels. If somebody had pulled a stunt like that at MY sister's wedding, I'd personally find out who invited them, and I'd forget that I'm a lady and I'd literally bitch slap them one!!!!! 👊👊👊👊💯💯💯💯

[@faith2xxx]

I'm thinking Simuel had something to do with Lem's ex being there.

[@origamipein18]

Me, too. I don't even LIKE my sister, and I agree with ya!

[@MamiTT237]

@@faith2xxxNo, I think they both just had crazy exes but then again Simuel IS a nut case!

[@penda1920]

Right! I never understood why anybody's ex was there. Tf Terry paid, who was in charge of the invite list 🤣

[@PineapplesCoconut]

I’m still trying to figure out who let them in and why?

[@tytybaby06]

Great breakdown!! Definitely watching this as an adult I saw how dysfunctional this family was especially the sisters. You get emotional scenes with bird & both sisters but never Maxine & Terry smh so you are spot on I think it needs a reboot too & have the family addressed what killed big mama & change their eating habits like most of us IRL & let Terry & Maxine work out their issues. Alos definitely needs to hold BM accountable for their actions! That’s what this movie lacked the lost & it was disgusting! You should also break down “The Best Man” I also found it problematic as an adult 🤦🏾‍♀️🤣

[@LilShopofAli]

That’s the thing with big mama, we don’t know anything about her diabetes or how she got it. So I don’t even think changing their eating habits means anything. Like we don’t know what caused her to get diabetes. We learn so little about her. I haven’t seen The Best Man in years, but I’ll definitely add it to the list.

[@reneedennis2011]

I agree. Struggle Reviewz TV and Primm's Hood Cinema made similar comments about this movie on their KZbin channels.

[@firstofall7148]

Terri and Ahmad are owed an apology!

[@patricklewis6384]

AMEN

[@dejaalston8672]

In my opinion Teri is a complex character. It makes the audience feel sorry for her and want her to win such as getting a chance of happiness in life due to her family betraying her as Maxine stole her boyfriend Kenny, Faith slept with her husband Miles, and they constantly kept relaying on her for money for financial issues. She was responsible and independent I give her credit for that and I feel like her family should have gave her more recognition and credibility so she can feel loved and appreciated by them but at the same time Teri was arrogant, cocky, and narcissistic.

[@purplebanana6420]

Terri should've just left her family alone and moved some place else cause Child that family is terrible and they don't appreciate Terri for that she does

[@thewordsmith5440]

Lem got on my nerves. You can't be so proud that you have your wife pulling all the weight which contradicts the reason he should have pride. He did have some serious anger issues which actually made him scary and unpredictable. I always wondered why they blamed Terry for Lem going back to jail it didn't make sense. Were those the cousin's Terry called on Lem or what?

[@jakimsingletary164]

Yes even though that was Cousin Blimp. Still Lem should be accountable for going back to jail because he had a gun and put it to Blimp’s head and having a gun is a felony. The family should be ashamed of themselves for scapegoating Terri like that after all she’s done for that family. Of course Terri felt bad when she found out Lem was innocent in not harming Bird after all. No Thank you or anything in Terri bailing him out and getting his job back . If it was Max that had sent Blimp to beat up Lem then finding it was a mistake everyone would of let her off the hook and throw it under the rug 🤦🏾‍♂️..

[@faith2xxx]

He went back to jail because he was a felon in possession of a weapon while out on parole. However, Teri, a supposed to be attorney and officer of the state of Illinois, instigated his situation that caused his confrontation with Blimp. I know it was a movie, but if anyone had been hurt or seriously killed, Teri would have been fried. She possibly would have been disbarred, and brought up on some kind of legal charges herself. All she had to do was call either the state's attorney or his parole officer. Did she extend the same offer to Blimp that she did Lem when asking for that "favor?" She could have jeopardized everything she worked so hard for.

[@TanieBaker]

Your commentary is EVERYTHING!! Had me cracking up!! Great content!!!

[@thewordsmith5440]

It's so monotone and sarcastic I love it. It's like the Black Daria.

[@TanieBaker]

@@thewordsmith5440 YES!!!! Exactly!!! Love it!!

[@chocothun1]

Thoughts: 1. Justice for Teri 2. As an older sibling, I get A LOT of where Teri was coming from 3. "FFMH!" is the most iconic line of this movie 4. Now I gotta go rewatch this movie...easily my favorite 90s black film

[@YouTubeChannel-ru8ed]

For me I’ll break down some things I think Terri: Her only real fault from what I see is her lack of standing up for herself, and not being supportive of her husband and not being honest with herself and being happy for her like if you gon give money then don’t keep a debt list Bird: She need to get a restraining order on that ex or get back with him because allowing him to be around like that, nah you married now also she needs to really have a heart to heart with her husband about his anger and try and get him some help if he wants it Lamb: Get your anger and bitterness in control and let your pride go bruh like go to therapy Fr Mason or whatever his name is: bro you deadass should have just left, not cheated you dumb ass Maxine: Your a bad sister Fr, like she’s clearly a golden child and you need to get your life and priorities together, you need to mend some shit with yourself Maxine’s husband: You a while bitch Big mama: I understand you so much and you deserve peace for how much you had to deal with The little boy who’s name I can’t spell: I hope he don’t turn into the next big mama, he carried a whole bunch of adults issues in his back and the adults ain’t help so I hope he finds peace Regardless this family is dysfunctional as hell and everyone needs to figure out they ish, this family need to heal from their bitterness towards each other and get it together like Fr and be open minded about it, get therapy my gosh

[@msaubra6775]

Bird was appropriately named tho Terri was there for her family, as she was expected to be. She could have put her foot down at some point, but the casual way Vivica said."...we'll just get on a plab to pay Terri back", said alot. Terri likely started out helping and handling legal matters and Financials because she had better knowledge, the family was brazen about her being the ATM...not at all her fault

[@daniellevinson6975]

In other words, "Bird" was flighty??

[@faith2xxx]

@@daniellevinson6975 Yup!

[@faith2xxx]

Kenny went out and bought an entire computer system for a newborn infant. That has to be several thousand dollars in and of itself. That's money that could have gone towards Momma Joe's expenses. Sounds like they didn't have their financial priorities in order.

[@matxalenc8410]

I disagree about Terri. I think she was probably raised to feel a strong obligation to her family (I'm struggling with that obligation nonsense now), so she helps them out with their finances (I do believe her when she says she's giving out loans). I don't think she's doing things to throw it in their faces, but when you're helping family 'cause they're family, and they're taking from you 'cause your family, you realize that you're not getting the support you need, and things SHOULD be transactional. I watched it recently on Tubi and I might watch it again, but her sisters and her mama was always making slick jabs at her, especially about her marriages and it was making me sick. Then on top of that, she was always being told to let it go. She's doing for them, but they're not doing for her. I would've reminded them every chance I got that I'm the one helping them out, too! About her not being fun, though, there's nothing like having a lot of financial worries and responsibilities to zap the fun out you. And then on top of that she had to watch her husband enjoy his life. Outside of work, I really don't think she had anything else but her trifling-a** family. Even if it's a career, people need things outside of that. And someone made a good point about her sisters, they didn't want Faith in their house messing with their husbands, but they sent her to Terri's knowing the risk - then still threw her newly-failed marriage in her face while dining with her enemies. She clearly had no support from her family, and a lot of times, the things they were saying or doing was a bit abusive! Also, I was thinking the same thing about Maxine. Strong where?!

[@dannaymcmillian2492]

I was pro-Teri even back then, when the movie first came out.

[@TheRetroWoman80]

I wasn't then but now I am.

[@badgyrl310]

Same #TeamTerri

[@queenla227]

Lem is probably short for Lemuel. I knew a guy back in school with that name who went by Lem. Terri should’ve cut them off financially. Maxine was wrong for stealing her sister’s boyfriend. Bird was wrong for entertaining her ex, and Big Mama’s diabetes was more than just poor eating habits. She couldn’t feel that her arm was burning; she was so far gone at that point because she didn’t take medication for it but herbs. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Shy411]

Read the book it digs a little deeper and explored the relationships that movie didn’t dive into. Not to spoil it but wish they could have added more of the book in the movie.

[@dickersonr6172]

I didn’t know it was a book

[@reneedennis2011]

@@dickersonr6172 I didn't, either.

[@faith2xxx]

The books were good.

[@Not_Always]

Umm...this movie was not based on a book. What are you smoking? the director based it on his own family, this was not a book.

[@Not_Always]

@@dickersonr6172 It wasn't, this person is making shit up

[@jesserivera2043]

Your clips from Crazy Ex Girlfriend give me life

[@ertfgghhhh]

As someone who is a 70s baby and saw all of those movies except "juice" at the movies, I truly miss how we used to have a community. How we used to have scripted tv shows and movies in which we patroned (70s-90s). Our movies, tv shows, our hiphop, our community, our language, our food, and our soul music (r&b) belonged to us and was a source of pride. My how times changed. Now I realize, that we were spoiled. *This is my first video of yours. I love your commentary. You have won a subbie

[@latoyatv2030]

The 90’s were the best era ❤😢 this was 😅😅

[@GameOn71213]

Faith turned out to be their half sister by their daddy, this was revealed in the tv series I'm glad Terri and Damon got their happy ending, which the actors for the series played by Nicole Ari Parker, and Boris kodjoe who are married in real life

[@Not_Always]

ok, but this is about the movie

[@AnekoFoxx]

That makes the situation worse bc Terri was cheated on twice and it was with two of her sisters! 😭😭😭

[@latoyatv2030]

Maxine : Terri you are not hurting because you gave Bird money for that shop , um excuse me I have my own bills are you chipping in to help & she has to be happy you have her guy she was with in the beginning no wonder Terri was was mad ❤

[@Zumcho]

I always thought it was unrealistic that Faith would still be encouraged to stay after sleeping with Miles?! Would that still be the case if she slept with Kenny or Lem? Doubt it.

[@wwe682]

I can't hold you from looking back at this movie bird should have known better than to entertain her ex and the fact that she told him to give Lem a job and he wouldn't find out about it, oh man that's just trifling.

[@daniellevinson6975]

The name "Milestone" makes perfect sense; Miles acted selfishly.

[@TheRetroWoman80]

I really appreciate your retrospective take on this film. I have now subscribed. Your calming voice plus deadpan humor is awesome 😆 Anyway, hindsight is such a teacher!! There was a way I viewed this at 16 and another way I view it now. One of the most important things that comes to mind for me (that didn't then) is the power I now have to literally physically distance myself from any trace of toxicity in my family as an adult. I look forward to more of your content👍🏼

[@happygolucky8869]

I just found your channel but your breakdown of this movie was on point. I also think it is rarely if ever pointed out how self righteous hey all were in terms of asking , no telling, miles that he has to also pay the bills and they will "pay back in installments". those people never paid Terri back, I have no doubt of that. And for Maxine to tell Bird that she should let a man be a man. Where was her man when they were pushing the bills onto Terry for a house she didn't live in? He could contribute $20 to the utilities? Could bird and her husband not pay utilities? Terry said she was paying for everything for that house? Why wasn't bird paying it since she lived there?

[@tbrown2742]

I was definitely team Terri in this movie from the first time I saw it! I felt like the family did not have her back at all throughout this entire movie and they used her throughout the entire movie and they did not care about her or her feelings throughout the entire movie. And I also noticed that they really downplayed her looks in the movie like they gave her a granny, looking wig and dressed her like an old lady inthe movie. As if lawyers can’t be stylish. what was that about?

[@matxalenc8410]

I was thinking about her looks. I read a few months ago that girls who are not considered beautiful, usually try to excel at other things like education. I thought it was odd that Terri was the only one that was being supported with her education. I was thinking about the study, but I was confused because I didn't think she looked ugly - but I'm not too stylish myself. It didn't occur to me until right now that she might've been considered the ugly duckling in the family. I heard ugly ducklings are not treated well!

[@AnekoFoxx]

⁠Maxine become pregnant with Ahmad in college so she dropped out and become a stay at home mother.

[@thomashooks5571]

Considering his name is Miles, Milestone is a creative name for his band.

[@evelynannettegordon3697]

This was one of the best movie breakdowns I’ve come across on KZbin! Great content looking forward to seeing more! Can you do Disappearing Acts

[@LilShopofAli]

Thank you so much! I haven't seen Disappearing Acts but I'm definitely gonna add it to the list.

[@reneedennis2011]

I agree 👍🏾.

[@PineapplesCoconut]

I’m glad you pointed out that nasty preacher slobbering those girls and making inappropriate comments.

[@Zumcho]

For real! When I was a girl, I had an uncle who used to kiss me on the mouth. It was disgusting and honestly traumatizing to this day.

[@SharonBoo0305]

You conveniently ignored that Bird asked her EX to help her husband get a job, that's the main reason why Lem was so angry. There's plenty of other people she could have asked, especially since she worked in a pretty busy salon. There's a reason why Lem was led to believe that Kenny pulled the strings, not Simuel. Bird wanted to make sure Lem did not know who REALLY got him the job.

[@MChantal76]

She mentioned all that. She didn't ignore it.

[@dominiquegoodwin6735]

Like literally could’ve asked any other person 😂 and also what did she really think was going to happen after she went to dinner with the man that clearly still wants to fuck her? Like that, could’ve been potentially dangerous situation

[@NorthPhilly-zr7xc]

This movie is a classic

[@karatekoala4270]

23:49 now I see the disconnect for you. It isn't that Bird helped him get a job. That's fine. She seduced her shady ex to do it. That was the angering part. As far as the shit in the bar, HE WAS HIT OVER THE HAD WITH A BOTTLE! That's why he took it as a life or death situation. That's what physical altercations are for a man.

[@Tajriq]

Perfectly stated.

[@Lppolymath90]

Exactly. This chick sounds like a lonely feminist...

[@LilShopofAli]

So by that logic Bird should’ve pulled a gun on Lem for consistently putting his hands on her at the shop.

[@karatekoala4270]

@@LilShopofAli consistently? He shoved her and shook her. No one is saying he was in the right. But we are saying his anger was justified. Why are you jumping to the extreme of she needs to pull a gun?

[@faith2xxx]

@@LilShopofAli Your explanation of Lem "consistently" putting his hands on Bird has caused many innocent people to end up in jail, hurt, or dead. Perhaps you need to go back and re-watch.

[@BraunwynBlondel]

Literally, I got “ghetto vibes” from the entire family, with the exception of Teri. They all gave the feeling that they were spoiled and entitled, constantly depending on Teri for financial assistance. Teri, however, was successful, ambitious, and overly responsible, even sacrificing her own happiness for the sake of her family. They definitely aren’t the kind of family I’d want to be born into. They clearly have a dark souls in their “soul food.”

[@kheriphillip878]

This is my first video and you are too funny. Your tone and sarcasm is my type of entertainment 😂. New subscriber!

[@daniellevinson6975]

The part about underlying problems never getting resolved -- and the part about Mama Jo's conflict-averse behavior -- is a part of your critique is fully concur with.

[@karatekoala4270]

11:41 you really gonna not acknowledge the fact that Bird was hella foul for doing what she did and even wearing the bracelet? Come on now.

[@thewordsmith5440]

Lem was so immature he never knew how to control his emotions and he seemed to be destined to be going back to jail for one thing or another. If you're already a convict breaking a glass window and slamming your wife against a wall.

[@massagemodality366]

If Miles were a real man he would finance his dreams without making his wife so nervous. Your a lawyer,balance it out son. You should be putting money into the account too. She already has a big ass family draining her. But I wouldn't put up with it. These people are grown.

[@karatekoala4270]

24:50 a good hair stylist makes bank. As a Black man I took that scene with Kenny as a dig at how we are only valued only for the money we bring in, regardless of what else we may bring to the table. Linked to that is status of the work a man does for social standing.

[@reneedennis2011]

Yup.

[@PrincessLioness]

It works both ways. They men never cook in this movie, they can’t bring anything else to the table.

[@karatekoala4270]

@@PrincessLioness lol, bird can't cook solo and Teri can only make cornbread 🤣

[@Not_Always]

Case in point - black women of today only care about how much money a man makes and many (while being broke themselves) refuse to 'lower their standards' for a man that makes less than 6 figures while they only bring bad manners and other men's babies. Complete nonsense.

[@dejaalston8672]

I love Soul Food. It was something new, fresh, unique, inventive, stylish, cool, edgy, hip, and updated such as the concept and theme due to it's witty and clever dialogue and humor, emotional resonance, comedic moments, performance's by the cast, and motivational, powerful, and inspirational life messages. It also gives a insightful and articulate representation of up's and down's in life and how to prepared for it. It was decent. To this day I still watch it and I consider it a classic. It never gets old.😍😎💯👍

[@MamiTT237]

When you were talking about Big momma not having a story and how she’s been the matriarch but isn’t this how it is in REAL life!? People defend their grandmothers and mothers all the while not knowing ANYTHING about who they were before they were that sweet doting figure in their life! And the diabetic issue is pretty accurate! Families will eat terrible and then when their loved ones get sick, they will say “you ain’t been eating right” 🤷‍♀️ I don’t understand the complaints because that’s how people are and that’s how they’ve been! Especially in the 90s!!! Especially in the 90s!!

[@Tha90sKid]

Love your review on this, you hit all the good points. Hope to see your channel grow, you just earned a new subscriber :)

[@missmattox5636]

I hate this movie but watch it every time it airs on TV. I just can't look away. I had to go back and find a 5 year old post where I was hate-posting while watching. ----> "When Vivica and Vanessa are arguing in the hospital room (over their mama's body) about whether to have Sunday dinner or not, Vivica listed all the foods that would be on the menu if they voted for dinner. All the foods that caused Big Mama's diabetes culminating in her death. Are we being punked? Vanessa Williams doesn't support her husband's dream of recording, not because she is cold and selfish, but because he has literally the worst band ever in the history of bands. You have Babyface, K-Ci, some guy who looks like Babyface and it's just a big nope. That's bad. Um, your cousin has stolen from your mama on more than one occasion and she's staying in your house? I don't understand why hands were not laid as soon as she breezed through the door. They should have given her character a talent other than dance. Cuz she ain't gonna make it. The best performance in the whole movie is the voice-over actress who yells, "Oh my God!" after Vanessa went after her husband with a knife. So she stole from your mama, sleeps with your husband and she's at the funeral? I bet she had a plate at the repast. Where they do that at?"

[@beemocha]

Girl…..you are FUNNY ASF!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@GearsinMotionGraphics]

This was definitely a great representation of what Black family life is and what it should be within its challenges, I love that they embraced each other within all the challenges that they went through and came to be one♥️🔁🕛

[@a.l.michael6240]

I love your channel. I hope it grows soon. I agree with almost everything you said about this movie 😊

[@karatekoala4270]

16:44 Lem was only in that fight cause of Terri. That's why she was looked at as the reason he went to jail. Also Lem isn't sorry for anything, that's the name.

[@LilShopofAli]

He went to jail because he pulled a gun on someone in a public bar. You can’t just pull your gun out in a public bar and think nothings going to happen lol

[@karatekoala4270]

@@LilShopofAli yes, because some random cats ran up in him and hit him over the head with a bottle! It wasn't thinking, it was reacting and self preservation when his life is threatened. He was mad at Bird but clearly didn't want to hurt her. On top of that he acknowledged his actions as wrong and held himself accountable.

[@jakimsingletary164]

@@karatekoala4270 with that he can’t blame Terri fully for going to jail when at the end of the day she was trying to be the big sister in looking after little sister Bird just like Max did when she almost beat Lem’s ex at him and Bird’s wedding. Yet everyone wants to praise Max for being a ride or die sister but when Terri tries it it’s a smack in the face.

[@faith2xxx]

@@jakimsingletary164 Actually, you can blame Teri because if someone had gotten hurt or killed, it would have led back to her, and she probably would have gotten in trouble and lost her license. She called in a favor to the prosecutor, probably the same one who locked him up the first time, to get the charges dropped. She could have called the same one, or his parole officer. Terri put other people at risk too. What if Lem's gun had gone off and hurt other patrons in the bar? She played the role of educated fool that night.

[@jakimsingletary164]

@@faith2xxx If the gun went off during a bar fight then that would still be on Lem, because again he had a gun on him while knowing he is on probation and still committed a felony. He could of just punched Blimp and his crew back instead. At the end of the day Terri told Blimp not to bring no guns and that he was suppose to scare him with a small rough up. Lem would of went to jail without no serious time just a quick bail out with a deal of community service. Terri would of been of probation with her job if the Law office found out somehow, but they didn’t. I’m surprised Ahmad didn’t once blame Terri for her role with him saying “This is how it was my Aunties’ fix each other messes. But was still surprised Terri sent Blimp out of all people and that’s what is the only part he blames her on.

[@MKnight1121]

Excellent video. Do more. I like your approach to reviews.

[@daniellevinson6975]

1:29 - 1:31 That description probably means she used to be gangly but later became more shapely -- WITHOUT becoming any less slender.

[@samlewis6615]

Exactly!

[@alexandradillard2077]

Thanks for your analysis/critique. I have both the series and the movie. One is just as dysfunctional as the other. What do you think of the series?

[@LilShopofAli]

I haven’t watched the series but maybe that’ll be a future video

[@andrewcrawford4635]

@@LilShopofAli Yes, if you have the time watch the series.

[@ddavis8988]

Terri, in fact, was the most caring and selfless person in this movie

[@VideoGamesAndTheWorld]

This was a very good essay of a great movie. I feel bad for Teri. Maxine stole her then boyfriend, her cousin slept with her husband, she just couldn't catch a break. Bird is the type of woman who would support her man when he has a hard time. But Lem was pretty stubborn.

[@blackyoung2134]

But who would be supportive of a man in his 40s wanting to pursue a music career.

[@LilShopofAli]

Fair point lol

[@reneedennis2011]

Great review! You brought up some good points!

[@sheilat8190]

I forgot all about this movie. I'm going to watch it again Now!!

[@penda1920]

This used to be a FAV of mine as a child. But rewatching with adult eyes...whew. sadly, this film literally mirrors the norms in some black families. The uppity daughter, enabling, skewed family values, creepy uncle etc. It's crazy. I love how you dissected the film in your review

[@daniellevinson6975]

13:54 I think this scene was supposed to be a moment of realism rather than personal commentary. Remember how the family falls apart after Mama Jo dies? Well, Terri's not the only seriously flawed character; we see serious flaws from everyone else. Discerning Mama Jo's defective treatment of Terri further drives the point home!

[@karenmickens1239]

It was about her going to her ex for help that he had a problem with.

[@leasirenee6327]

Bird owns a salon

[@nakiareddick9993]

I swear black people don't know nothing but break each other down.. its a movie .... the movie a classic ..

[@bobhollywood4093]

Great video, but the volume is a wee bit low whenever you speak.

[@andreaselchez2738]

Girl your recap is gold

[@calebdouglas7622]

Well in Lem’s case it really didn’t help that Bird had to get her ex to help him find a job the same ex that kept trying weasel his way back with bird and the same ex that had to come to Lem’s new job and toy with him which could cause any one to spiral out of control. It doesn’t make the reaction right but in some way it makes sense.

[@purplebanana6420]

Nah lem got a anger problem

[@dawnbrown624]

Terri didnt help him, she was the real reason he did end up in jail going on assumptions. Like her mom said she had her own personal issues that she needed to deal with. They all had their issues. Right or wrong. Bird should never have gone to her ex for help or accepted any gifts from him especially knowing how he felt about Lem. Maxine always made plans for the family yet wanted Terri and Miles to carry the financial responsibility. Terri needs to lighten up, love her husband and learn to say no.

[@dawnbrown624]

And NEVER let another woman into your home to live especially when your married.

[@Steven-fw1ll]

Excellent film,. Seen it when it first came out at the theater while living in San Diego

[@lets_ENJOY_LIVING]

I really appreciate this review on the movie. I agree with alot of what you said. big mama hiding the stress of her diebetes even though you know she didnt feel well at all. She was rather hiding it all to keep the family together. She needed help. But she was an amazing lady. Very selfless and loving. I do like this movie but it is really sad at times and I just wanna turn it off.

[@dianeenaid7207]

There is a TV show following the events of this movie….I wonder how everyone ended up

[@bettymiller3999]

You've never seen it????

[@samlewis6615]

@@bettymiller3999 they recast every one I couldn't watch it

[@bettymiller3999]

@@samlewis6615 neither could I, at first. But then, I became attached to the show. It intrigued me, because it shows that even though the movie ended on a happy note, the family members are still human beings living everyday life, and with living everyday life, comes new setbacks and obstacles. Even little Ahmad faced some problems, as he was growing up. I also liked how the characters in the series progressed over time, like Terri and Maxine actually getting along better with each other than they did in the film. There's not even any reference or call-back in the series of how Maxine stole Kenny from Terri. It's almost like it never happened. 🤷‍♀️ Malinda Williams's reincarnation of Bird is a real piece of work at times. While it's easy to feel sorry for her in the series, u just want to smack her one. Her attitude and mouth is out of control sometimes. This was kinda lampshaded near the end of the film, when she and Lem cursed Terri out for helping Lem get released from jail. I mean, they both could've said thank you to her. 🙄 While we're on the subject of Lem, I didn't like Mekhi Pfeiffer's version of Lem. He was just kinda flaky and stupid at times. Like, anybody with the least bit of sense that God gave them knows that u don't pour water on a grease fire, or that if you're an ex con, u don't even carry a weapon, let alone pull it out on someone with the intention of using it.

[@ertfgghhhh]

When I viewed this movie when it came out, here is what my friends and I thought and the thoughts of many bw at that time (I am from the south and only lived in places that had HBCUs: 1. Terry was NOT a failure with 1 divorce under her belt. If she had a child out of wedlock or if she was a stripper, THAT would had been a failure. 2. Terry had a great career and a fine (attractive )husband 3. Terry had a right to complain about always giving money 4. Bird had no business marrying Lim 5. Maxine should had NEVER stolen Terry's man in high school. Ain't no way a real big mama would let maxine keep him. A real big mama would had hated the guy. 6. Being a housewife was looked down upon 7. Nobody empathized with miles

[@Wonderouz]

I wish u sound a little more enthusiastic. Or put music behind the video. No disrespect I like the content but you sound bored. Like you didn't wanna even do this

[@LilShopofAli]

I'm still getting used to hearing my voice honestly and how I should speak when I make videos, so I'll definitely take that into account in the future. Thank you for being honest

[@XanStephP]

I mean when you gave Lem sass and talked about the man's pride it was so funny. It's giving Daria and it made me chuckle 😆💕👏🏽👏🏽

[@TheRetroWoman80]

Maybe I'm just odd but I see nothing wrong with her voice. It's fine.

[@TheRetroWoman80]

@@XanStephP Oh my goodness yes!!!! Daria is a perfect comparison and I loved Daria's whole vibe just as she was. She was more exciting than her deadpan speech would suggest.

[@WhatJamaican]

So glad I watched this movie years ago. The depressing tone in which this movie is summarized...

[@TheRetroWoman80]

Interesting perspective and I can understand why someone would sense that. I find her voice calming though.

[@daniellevinson6975]

18:29 Many people become more amicable towards theirs exes after finalizing their divorce, and Miles had emotional connections to *everyone* in the Joseph family.

[@LilShopofAli]

I don’t have a problem with that, but the reason they got a divorce is because he cheated on her with her cousin in their house. Like I don’t know that’s not something I could get over that easily.

[@daniellevinson6975]

@@LilShopofAli I don't blame you for your response. It looks, however, as though the conclusion of the film happened *several months* after Terri and Miles divorced -- plus we see the two of them act quite distant from each other despite being on more civil terms with each other.

[@brandonray4379]

Who was Ahmaud's Barber? 16:58 Jesus christ😳😳😳😬

[@Mrs.buildingblackwealth]

Good point

[@AnekoFoxx]

Gurl, you had me thinking that my smoke detector was beeping. 😭 I just changed it yesterday.

[@alexandradillard2077]

Can you critique the series as well?

[@dickersonr6172]

I disagree about mama jo not being desired. She was married with a family, so it is inferred she was among the desired when she was younger.

[@Not_Always]

many black women today don't ever get married so they confuse being sexually promiscuous until you die as being desirable.

[@keyondratwyman3366]

I love your videos you doing a good job I just suggest that you make them louder I have my phone on maximum and it sounds like it whispering but keep up the good work with the content I just subscribed

[@MayMay-el4wg]

I remember my friends insisting l watch this movie with them since l always bailed out. My problem then and now is that none of these black movies related to me. Where is the strong male lead? That’s big mama🙄 older sister in excellent career with no kids. Younger sister still emotionally tied to ex beau. No Dad present to step to him. No dad present to guide his baby girl into marrying the right man. Personal lives full of trauma but they manage to come together for Sunday dinner? Where’s the church? No one attends? Dad not a deacon and big mama a Sunday school teacher? My friends explained what soul food was because l’m Creole and we didn’t eat this way. Other than the cast were some pretty people, l thought the storyline could have been less dramatic. The black families l grew up with weren’t like this and the hoe cousin damn sure wouldn’t have come around three accomplished sisters willing and able to kick her back in!

[@20FilmChick]

Are creoles alien? Wth do yall eat?

[@Not_Always]

The black family in America is a gynocracy. Women lead everything because they preferred to be single mothers now and almost every black household is headed by a woman.

[@Cjohnson87]

I get lymm got major anger issues. But realistically. Most men and women would go ballistic if they found out their spouse conspired behind their back. He wrong for lying, he also wrong for grabbing her. But she was wrong for lying to him, and going to dinner with her ex. Just be straight up and let him know you are throwing the alley to him, and it is his choice to take it or not.

[@tinadaugherty9073]

I enjoyed the show. It was all too real. Straight up. The house kitchen fire brought the family back together again.

[@drummstickydd93]

I still don't know why they believed Ahmad about that money 😂🤣 but come on Terry was wrong for that she easily could've gotten Him or their cousin killed it's nice she got him out but she's the reason he went in none of that would've happened if she didn't make that call.

[@firstofall7148]

I'm sorry, the police needed to be called. He assaulted 3 people in one day, and pulled an illegally obtained firearm on somebody, when he already had charges! I'm not saying that Bird went about things in the correct way, but we're not about to act like Terri is the bad guy here.

[@drummstickydd93]

@@firstofall7148 It's definitely her fault he only pulled that gun because she set him up and they started with him by breaking a bottle of his head so I don't blame him it just sucks that he was on probation and being aggressive is not the same as being abusive he was angry and he had every right to be I'm not justifying his actions but we're not going to sit here and act like Terry didn't escalate the situation by not minding her business then acting like she was doing him so favor out the kindness of her heart getting him out and it's Bird's fault for letting him find out about the job like that.

[@LilShopofAli]

@First Of All ! He grabbed her and pushed her multiple times, that’s being abusive. It doesn’t matter what Bird did, if he had a problem he should’ve talked to her and tried to hear her out. Teri calling her cousins is her protecting her sister. Any sibling who loves and cares about their sibling would’ve done that. The idea that she should mind her own business when her sister is in potential danger does not make any sense.

[@MayMay-el4wg]

Seeing as this is a family of women, Terri did the right thing. He destroyed the door which will cost to repair, and manhandled her at her place of business. This last act of aggression can and will cost you clients. BW can’t be safe in a beauty salon? After he broke the glass in the door, wouldn’t the police have been called anyway? All the yelling and shoving her around is cause for him to go to jail. Period. Also, the young wife needed a firm sit down discussion. You married the man you want to share your life with. Let go of the ex. If it was like that you would have chose him!

[@reneedennis2011]

@@MayMay-el4wg Thank you!

[@RestingCatNipFace]

Who grinds on their ex at their own wedding reception? He was wrong for that. Shows really poor judgement.