Loot Crate, Mystery Box and Treats May 2017 | Ashens

sequelisers.com for podcast
lootcrate.com/a... for Loot Crate (Discount Code: ANEXCELLENTCODE)
trytreats.com for Treats (Discount code: ASHENS)

[@cAPSlOCKrOXX]

"Which month is it this year?" - Dr. Stuart Ashens, 2017

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

cAPSlOCKrOXX 2017 Ariana Grande Dad.

[@thehappylittlefoxakabenji8154]

he,s no doctor but that ass nurse

[@Coolmanwag123]

You should make a spin off where you tell us how much you sold the contents for.

[@mandeville123123]

Coolmanwag123 Give this man a medal. However it could have downsides as people could just find Ashen's ebay and bid the items up for no reason.

[@Coolmanwag123]

mandeville123123 Very true, as long as he was careful I'm sure it would be fine.

[@mandeville123123]

Coolmanwag123 True.

[@gabrielkall3694]

Like Wheeler Dealers lol

[@terrariaskeletonpre1.0.39]

he could name it "crate loot" and just review the money in his hands while talking about what he sold

[@maggotsitnspin]

> Star Wars Anti-Stress Coloring Book > opens book > flips through pages > Jar Jar Binks is on one page > sees no irony in this

[@PurpleAlzir]

I feel the big headed Q fig thing works with Rocket Racoon more than most of the other characters they have done

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

PurpleAlzir Same here.

[@RobinWatson27]

Funko Pop Roo from Winnie the Pooh has 100% original, undistorted proportions

[@lawza3702]

PurpleAlzir same

[@supernovagamer929]

I miss the 80's and 90's boxes

[@MrHack4never]

Space Martian they ran out of 80's and 90's

[@agnarthewretched]

I know the guy behind them. They're still going so most likely Ashens just doesn't order them.

[@topguntopcat]

I agree miss the 80s and 90s boxs they were really good

[@theochristie6742]

I love how the 'exotic' food is literally shit you can get down at your local fuckin Tesco, Priceless

[@Neolibwill]

To be fair, they probably were expecting a lot of their clients to be American.

[@LazerLord10]

I've eaten shamrock before. It's that clover stuff with the heart-shaped leaves. I remember it tasting tangy and lemon-like. It was actually pretty good.

[@BobSheepbob]

Can dry them and put them on chicken

[@TrueShilic]

In case nobody said it yet, the Doctor Who book is the novelization of the Patrick Troughton Serial "The Moonbase". Since it was very difficult to watch the old Doctor who serials (and it still is, half of this story is still missing) since the BCC didn't ever re-air them the scripts were adapted into novelizations, which would also elaborate and fill in details that were not present in the episode.

[@Rogue0DK]

Something seriously wrong with a product when the best thing in it is the damn pin...

[@numbers9to0]

Thank god, Ashens was uploading when I've been sleeping. He didn't keep me awake at 3 at night... as he does most of the time.

[@dethadder0]

I thought the Dr. Who book was a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book for a second.

[@MathewHaswell]

I'm sure those exist, but that was not one of them.

[@BunniMonster]

"Your crisps are substandard at best". A savage English takedown, this Fabolous fellow has now surely lost all respect from his homies.

[@pretzelmister01]

That Doctor Who book is a Target novelisation based on 'The Moonbase' from 1967

[@LibraGamesUnlimited]

I thought so. I used to have a ton of those that I got from a local bookstore.

[@jakerockznoodles]

pretzelmister I presumed as much as soon as he started reading the blurb and the pictures kind of sealed it.

[@pretzelmister01]

Also seeing as half the episodes from that story are missing it's probably the best way to experience the story. Although I think they might have created animated versions of them like they have for others

[@MuchWhittering]

Animated versions do indeed exist. Or you could watch the fan reconstructions.

[@Interference22]

Yeah. I strongly recommend just getting the DVD. That's got animated reconstructions of the missing two episodes, is digitally remastered, and has some nice special features to go with it. You can grab it off Amazon. It's a solid Troughton era 4-parter.

[@leecairnduff8021]

*Excited to see that the theme is ireland so stuart can try some sweets* *literally the only irish things are those crisps* -_-

[@theguaable]

And the Twiglets... Oh wait

[@pugilist31]

Can always count on Ashens for a classic Goodies reference, that show...people still talk about...

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

schoolgirlpugilist Is that fan art of Gem as your icon?

[@pugilist31]

It is indeed, you can find the original fanart by Causticart on tumblr.

[@Braddurs]

Those hickory smoked crisps are bloody amazing! bought a bag when I was in Dublin and still crave them two years later

[@EvocativeKitsune]

Never take delicious british sweets for granted! As fine as France may be in other culinary arts, their shops lack these delights, which we make a point of hoarding on every trip over.

[@juststeve1569]

I haven't even watched yet but I have to say, these mystery unboxings are one of my favourite types of Ashens videos. His disappointment is our entertainment.

[@colinplante8980]

I remember when loot crate was was good... Oh wait. It never was in the first place.

[@thomasjenkins7506]

i think there were 1 or 2 that were pretty good, but yeah, they are mostly shit.

[@colinplante8980]

I remember going to one of my friends houses a few years ago, and he had one there. I can only describe the contents as a bunch of useless crap

[@Trakker1985]

occasionally there is good stuff, but when there is, I just rely on someone selling it off on ebay

[@leahqt3.14]

Colin the Procrastinator i remember when lemons could be used as grenades but then the geneva convention stopped us from using them

[@glswenson]

Colin the Procrastinator there were some good things in the early boxes. exclusive Funko pops that are now selling for a lot, the Megaman helmets, the power rangers tee that's now selling for like $40, superfight card game.

[@rammice]

"Which month is it this year" cracks me up

[@thomasjenkins7506]

every mystery box needs some kind of ron perlman action figure.

[@moniquesantrifcer1447]

Thomas Jenkins maybe if they made payday 2 figurines. since he's a biker in that too

[@crashfalso]

Everything in life needs some more Ron Perlman

[@MathewHaswell]

And Ashen's videos need more reality-distorting Playmobil hay.

[@ravenfaebowie]

I bought a Goonies tshirt with the exact same slogan, but a much better designed jolly-roger that actually looks like One-Eyed-Willie, for £5 a few weeks ago.

[@garcon45]

"Which month is it this year?" Stuart Ashen, 2017

[@jennybailey2998]

I remember Altiair colouring books, back in the 80s. my family would sit with a few books & some felt pens, & take turns passing them round colouring in different parts of which ever patterns we were working on. Quite a strange but fun ritual!

[@madbstard1]

Try the Marietta biscuits again - they are way more plain than Rich Tea. Also, don't think I've ever seen Twiglets sold here in Ireland. They are lovely though.

[@noochienoo7896]

The classic and X force Deadpool were both in pound stretcher a few years ago.

[@robinok3]

"That's what they called him in that awful awful..." *Starts scrolling* "...M. Night Shyamalan film" *Scrolls back up*

[@mim0381]

You've just crushed my childhood nostalgia daydreams. RIP Goodies

[@landenhawley7874]

For a split second while you were flipping through the non loot crate book I saw a coloring picture that was the one on the cover of the other one

[@jethrojenkins5245]

Landenater 02/ Themacdaddy there was another picture that matched up too.

[@mcopado]

Glad to hear you're considering starting up blind bags again. It's one of my favorite of your videos.

[@JCBSPNCR]

thank you guru larry for the knife thing

[@KOTYAR0]

18:54 Oh hey, these little keys are wonderful! I bought like 20 of them in bulk, they make great presents!

[@TomGreen99]

Never heard of that rapper either. Had to google it. Yup, he's apparently the rapper on the wrapper.

[@5roundsrapid263]

TomGreen 99 Rap Snacks are still around? I remember seeing them in poor areas 15 years ago.

[@thehappylittlefoxakabenji8154]

well that just about wraps it up !

[@ed07722]

@@thehappylittlefoxakabenji8154 u mean "raps" it up. Couldn't resist

[@thehappylittlefoxakabenji8154]

@@ed07722 it took you long enough ! sorry couldn't resist !

[@ed07722]

@@thehappylittlefoxakabenji8154 2 years! Was not expecting a reply lmao

[@dabunnyman9133]

The link at the end of this video just puts you in a time loop back to the start. Aieeee!!

[@kyotra]

Flakes are actually a common thing in the convenience stores where I live in Ohio. A lot of U.K. candy has made its way over here.

[@jeramzPC]

Glad you're still doing these. Keep it up! FOREVER!

[@SlyPearTree]

I hope for Stuart that next month's food crate is not England.

[@jakedarling7549]

SlyPearTree It'll be from Wales just you wait...

[@Veeooom]

Jake Darling Yeah. Welsh cakes and cheese with some Breccan beacons water.

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

A bottle of Ty Nant, Pice ar y Mân, a can of naff cawl, a glamorgan sausage and a leek.

[@TheKadie53]

Definitely would love to see that box you brought from Norwich again, was pretty awesome. I would say worth😊

[@StabStabStabStabby]

Where did the nostalgia boxes go? They were the best ones.

[@danielmullins9953]

I feel like that box was designed for NerdCubed, it had all his favourite things Doctor Who, Star Trek and Minions

[@AlexRye-sv6no]

Adults who like minions should be on a watch list... Dr who too for that matter

[@noisytim]

an excellent coughing

[@varikvalefor]

Big Clive? Is that you? XD

[@magicjoybox]

I have that exact same key tool! My favorite feature is how when you use the screwdriver, if your hand slips you can simultaneously fuck up the pads of your fingers on the cerrations and sink the razor sharp tip of the blade a quarter inch into your palm.

[@ham8426]

"What month is it this year?" -Stuart Ashens 2017

[@cmd2tuts]

Now you know how the rest of us feel when you review the treats box from our country. Although most of it is candy that must be bought at a supermarket, I suppose that's the idea but it would be cool to see a box with more traditional candies from smaller local manufacturers.

[@hotdogfingerz9674]

Loot crate gets worse and worse every month

[@DoctorBastard]

HotDogFingerz Seems to be dipping down in quality again for sure.

[@AgentTasmania]

HotDogFingerz I've still never seen anything I'd want besides a few of the shirts.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

HotDogFingerz Fucking Inflatable Fucking Crown!

[@Cthulu1985]

Something tells me we are about to see something worse than that (maybe the pencils were that).

[@WalcomS7]

There's a reason why I stopped subscribing to them back in 2015.

[@OtterlyInsane]

Cadbury chocolate made in Ireland is actually different than the UK stuff. And there are two totally different Tayto companies.

[@andrewlane4766]

'puts the entire Moon Base into squit' - Ashens is indeed from Norfolk

[@TNTLuver9]

Oh man, I love the Star Wars pocketmodels! They had them in 99 cent stores a couple years ago here in America and I bought a TON of them! They're a bit flimsy, but fairly good models.

[@emmittmorgans8076]

I'm confused as to why, but I'm not even mad that you started off this video as Lady Bracknell. I didn't know you were a Bunburyist!

[@joewaters5348]

I got so exited exited when he said the goodies, I used to love that show.

[@DanteTimberwolf]

14:05 "a mystery virus is wreaking havoc" that didn't age well

[@ohmydinosare]

"Doctor who and the cybermen" is the target novelisation of the 1967 tv serial "The Moonbase" with Patrick Troughton. It's worth a read, since two out of the 4 episodes are missing. There is a dvd with the missing episodes animated to the original audio, but it's not quite the same.

[@JacobHillSBD]

Not gonna lie, when you pulled out the Rap Snacks, I thought it was some sort of Aziz Ansari brand potato chips.

[@mitchhirt]

The clone wars season 1 and 2 were mediocre with a few good episodes, but season 3 started really improving on it. I would highly recommend watching the series if you get the chance. Keep in mind that the episodes weren't all released chronologically, so if you watch in release order, it may get confusing.

[@thrilltoth]

The Amazing Mystery box has potential, seemed better value for money than Loot Crate

[@DevinGates]

Someone's probably told him, but 'lady' = Katey Sagal, aka Turanga Leela :)

[@Iootman]

Are we still doing these?

[@joshioaz85]

Lootman bloody hell...

[@Jack_Wolfe]

16:35 AGREED! I love that Samurai Jack style.

[@thescottishfloofsquad5904]

I like the goonies, but what about them matches the theme guardian?

[@jaydavid06brown95]

14:00 basically corona virus BUT ON THE MOON😂 Love your videos

[@CountryCondor]

Came down here to find a comment like this

[@lejonbrames3912]

RIP LOOTCRATE WHAT TRASH

[@hexyko4850]

The Dalek notebook was very pleasing to the eye. I'd buy that and I've barely seen Dr Who. The Cybermen novel looks awesome too. Samurai Jack was brilliant, have to watch it again after some 15 years. There was another season released a while ago.

[@Tyrone_M]

THE GOODIES IS AN AMAZING SHOW!!!

[@CichlidAsh]

Most honest Loot Crate opening I have ever seen. These things do seem to be pretty much filled with Pondland junk and a T-Shirt no where near worth buying as far as I am concerned but I do like seeing "What's in the box"

[@emilyinbetweener]

Those pencils look like the ones they give kids in those cheapo Peppa pig magazines and similar. Burn them.

[@valval1877]

BUUURRRNNN HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

[@1gcm]

val val alright mate calm down

[@JanusVesta]

The Jacob's Marietta was quite strange to me, as a person from Ireland, since I've never heard of them before and Jacobs sell rich teas already, they come in a light blue wrapper.

[@wopjohn]

qfig should make a sad onion figure

[@brhodes0]

wopjohn this comment deserves more love

[@Persephone01]

Tayto crisps are the best though 👍 when I go to see my family in Ireland, I always bring back like 12 pack bags with me. Ugh I miss them. Yeah that and the shamrock crisps are the only irish thing in there. They could have given you a Kimberly's or a Fig Roll. Or even Irish Tea!!

[@kingjames4886]

wtf is "shamrock extract" otherwise those chips look like sour cream and onion.

[@XenithLive]

crisps

[@DrBachur]

"Let's have a quick look at the book." Literally flips it for less than a second. "GOD THAT WAS FUN WUNNIT"

[@SympleSymon]

El Crítico Molesto Ashens reads faster than Johnny 5

[@onagda]

"I didn't know shamrock was edible" Anything is edible if you're brave enough.

[@randominternetsurfersurfin7595]

onagda lava is only edible once.

[@BrianS1981]

Shamrock stems actually have a sweet taste to them.

[@V-grandraccoon]

" Doctor who and the cybermen " is a novelisation of the serial " the moon base " from season 4. The copy you have is in quite good condition I'd love to have one.

[@RiownerTias]

The minute that Treat box opened, immediately spots the Flake. Oh dear, it's one of ours. (Then says its from Ireland) At there was some things in there I haven't seen

[@TheHutchy01]

The best thing about the guy who died laughing at the Goodies is that the fame of the story lead his daughter to find out it was due to a hereditary heart condition and she got preemptive treatment

[@FzEdits]

Bloody hell, are we still doing these?

[@beareatsworld7637]

I wonder is SpudNav is like a SatNav that directs you to the location of your nearest potato crop.

[@crossmirage]

where can one buy your crate leftovers

[@Canb.d]

crossmirage ebay maybe

[@BillieTrixx]

Your talk at Norwich Gaming fest was brilliant I have retold the story in my own crap way now so much and everyone is so bored of me talking but it's such a good tale!

[@Acidicstudios]

You mean I can get a box full of chocolate n' crisps from my local shop shipped to me for an almost affordable price? Result~ :'D

[@emilybobify]

One of our local Dollar Trees has that same Star Wars coloring book from the Loot Crate box. They also have two other designs. The other two Dollar Trees have other adult coloring books. If anyone wants them, they're in the kids section and our's also has them at the front near the registers.

[@steammachine3061]

the skull and crossbones on that goonies t shirt was probably stolen from google images. iv used the exact same image in the past for my photoshoppery

[@Finntendo]

I'm Irish and I realised as you were opening it that it was gonna be the same, I've never seen marrietta biscuits, had those Keogh's one time and they aren't something you see too often, see O'Donnell's sometimes and see everything else everywhere

[@Cowmanik]

Very cool.

[@kribz4576]

“ let’s have a quick look at the book” 7:30 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

[@Gun5hip]

Canadian here and I would loveeee that munch pack!

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Gunship Same here!

[@Veeooom]

Gunship Why nigga eat some Canadian wolf or some shit

[@franksmith3786]

Tayto are ok. but I tell you what I miss most living here in Cork..... Ready salted Golden Wonder.

[@twitchster77]

27 minutes of this tat? Hold on...let me go grab my lotion, my cat and a sock.

[@jamjamcamjam]

twitchster77 what's the cat for

[@Wieselkatze]

Joe Cammaroto the pain. you wouldnt want to miss the pain of being bitten and scratched down....there....

[@twitchster77]

Joe Cammaroto. To snuggle with duh! I need some lotion for my dry skin, a sock to keep my left foot warm, and my cat the cuddle with. 27 minutes is a long time!!

[@calebbates2026]

twitchster77 How come you only have one sock?

[@jasper.krzyza]

Caleb Bates to keep his left foot warm

[@1973Washu]

The crisps are part of the struggle and eating them will somehow improve you. (or perhaps leave you mildly nauseous)

[@moistladd]

Sounds like that rapper wants you to become a crisp

[@MrHusang23]

That Mystery Pack was really cool, I wish they would sell it in my country

[@dwaynetherock-hardjohnson5676]

shamrocks are both edible, and almighty fucking delicious perfect little tangy sour twist to them, they are called wood sorrel in the foraging community and they are bloody amazing

[@5roundsrapid263]

Dwayne the 'Rock-Hard' Johnson You can actually eat them? Fascinating. They're everywhere in my area.

[@EmmaW5]

12:00 Oh my god, I have one of those Dalek notebooks! Got it from HMV :)

[@ChesapeakeRipper]

O. O I would love to have that hannibal tshirt

[@RoninCatholic]

Man, I'd have loved that treats box this month full of so many interesting snacks that I'm unfamiliar with.

[@holaburger6075]

This was the worst Loot Crate since the inflatable crown.

[@IanC14]

Bozhidar Kolarov fucking inflatable fucking crown!

[@JimSteinbrecher]

marietta biscuits (aka mary / maria / marie biscuits) are one of the most common biscuits around the world. you can find them pretty much everywhere except england, which is odd, since they were originally invented in england. you are right, they are very similar to rich tea biscuits, the main difference is they use vanilla instead of malt. they are, imo, the ideal biscuit for cheesecake base.

[@man-mq9rk]

All hail ashens

[@TheFlipsta97]

FD3S Amman I propose he be referred to as "the 'shins"

[@KakarotOwns]

I love how you took a quick look at the book, that was fun lol.

[@agoraphobicsquirrel8607]

Perfect timing for California :)

[@troyking464]

A half hour of Ashens? yes please.