Loot Crate / Retro Gaming Box / Geeky Teebag / GeekGear Pinz April 2018 | Ashens

[@davidfirth]

Is there a particular strategy to releasing a new video at 3am? Trying to crack that New Zealand audience?

[@Chocolatepain]

ey what up fam

[@BushBumperBaker]

David Firth watches Ashens? :'D

[@deitykord8804]

Sup David

[@Larry]

When you are an internet shut in, the concept of time loses all meaning.

[@llamasandanime]

He posts at pretty reasonable times if you're American. X'D

[@KAPTAINmORGANnWo4eva]

"Adult collectible. Not a toy." Ha. Basically saying "They're not dolls, mom, they're action figures!"

[@kingedwin]

Basically saying "This is definitely a choking hazard. Also, the paint is 100% lead."

[@GamePlague]

What they actually mean is "It's your fault if it breaks"

[@kabobawsome]

It's actually the opposite. It's trying to say "DEFINITELY NOT ACTION FIGURES OR DOLLS!". Because both of those have increased taxes for some reason. So if you can say it's not a doll, but a collectable, you can save some money.

[@frankschneider6156]

I always thought action figures were toys and blow-up dolls well a sort of collectible for some adults.

[@thealien_ali3382]

kingedwin poop inside the led is Rat Posion

[@DenSporetrix]

Aaah yes, I too, enjoy ultra rare blue blobs. They are my utmost favourite.

[@thisisjustme100]

Asteroid. I am confident it is an asteroid from...Asteroids. It is a horrible design though, in my humble opinion.

[@slipgatecomplex]

That Pokemon Emerald is a bootleg, you can tell by the janky ESRB rating logo. As well as the Nintendo font.

[@monadoboy9670]

Still a good game tho

[@arenoskarlaen4951]

MonadoBoy Still a bootleg tho.

[@mrskizzot]

I noticed this too, there are a lot of bootlegs of the GB and GBA games, most shops Ive seen them at have at least 1 bootleg.

[@zedeighty]

Other clues include the lack of a 2 digit number impressed into the label and those visible holes in the bottom of the contacts (you can just about see them if you're looking for them). All official carts have the holes in a line at the top of the contacts. Very naughty of retro gaming box to be selling this!

[@THESCUMMBAR]

Tried to make themselves look good by sending Stuart a 25 quid game, and accidentally sent him a bootleg. Whoops.

[@YadonTheCat]

"Adult Collectible" Sonic, no! Don't put your ring there!

[@maxscardanelli6185]

Doom2Guy How and why is this not the top comment? 😂👌🏻

[@Battledongus]

Isn't it more likely dont put that in your ring?

[@Boogie_the_cat]

​@@maxscardanelli6185because tons of babies watch this channel and they don't know what a cockfighting ring is.

[@Dreadjaws]

The "Infinity Gem" pin looks more like the "Infinity Chewed Gum".

[@shi5369]

When I read "adult collectible" on the sonic packaging, I automatically assumed a different type of "adult".

[@MrTrombonebandgeek]

Shi gotta vibrate fast!

[@Dreadjaws]

Well, you don't know if those aren't cock-rings.

[@jakespacepiratee3740]

oooh, a Sonic Doujinshi? ;)

[@lupusfenric6190]

Not as bad as what I thought a geeky teabag was.

[@philthyweiner4688]

Buttplug for the brave.

[@Cool-Spot]

Damn, I was hoping he would have gotten the couch Keychain. For obvious reasons.

[@johnnythed1175]

Same

[@LetsPlayKeldeo]

Wow they send you a Fake Pokemon Emerald !? WOOOOOOW

[@johnmorey720]

NOTE: The dragon does not hold normal d20s. That die is smaller than your usual, standard 20-sided dice that you can buy at a game store. DECEPTION!

[@jubuttib]

Normal d20s are crap anyway, what you really want is untumbled, sharp edged and consistent stuff, like GameScience. It's not even just hype, they truly are way more random than any normal die you tend to get. That nerdy enough? =)

[@johnmorey720]

But seriously, the dragon only fits small d20s - the one that comes with it, not whichever one you use in your game.

[@DarthPerkins]

John Morey Mmm...I smell virgin blood...

[@johnmorey720]

Only on your sharp edginess. Youch.

[@damovlogs4486]

That's a WTOC thing all their dice are smaller for some reason

[@nickpetersen5934]

Ah, wow! You found the super-rare purple infinity chicken nugget! I’ve been looking ages for that!

[@ThePluralApostrophe]

Still haven't gotten my March crate. Got an April crate that they charged me for without my consent, though, so that's nice.

[@robbertokromwell]

The one time he gets something rare it's total tat. Hah.

[@jimhughon621]

Which one

[@josef733]

@@jimhughon621 Pokemon game

[@rinhato8453]

@@jimhughon621 The "infinity stone" pin.

[@samholdsworth3957]

The diarrhea

[@kingamesthe3rd]

I honestly didn't think I could take you seriously in The Darkest Dawn but I was really pleasantly surprised how I didn't see Ashens everytime you were on screen and just saw a very good performance.

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

That film is SUCH a mixed bag. Thoughts?

[@keiyakins]

That Emerald is fake. You'd probably have to pay to get rid of it to anyone who knows what to look for... and Pokemon GBA fakes are so absurdly common basically anyone buying games should know. Amazed the Retro Store guys didn't catch that honestly. Also the hearts pin packaging has part of a Minish Cap overworld map on it. Naughty!

[@mgb360]

How do you tell? I'm curious. I had an emerald cartridge when I was younger and I thought it seemed different but just figured they must have made slightly different versions

[@fallouthirteen]

Oh that's what it was. It looked like a Zelda, just none that I've played. I thought it was someone redrawing some ALttP assets or something with a sort of watercolor style.

[@Phoenix2312]

Yeah - I want to know how you could tell if that GBA Cart was a fake... Going to have to look back

[@XanthinZarda]

M B No model number on the cartridge is a dead give. No Nintendo seal either.

[@Phoenix2312]

OH YEAH! SPOTTED!!! NO FACTORY NUMBERS!!! That is indeed a Repro Cart!

[@Larry]

I briefly mentioned Enter the Matrix in my Drivergate video, the game was also a horrendous rush job, with many of the levels blatantly unfinished, and pissed everyone off as you couldn't play as Neo.

[@metalmugen]

Larry Bundy Jr Yep, the Xbox version was the worst of the bunch

[@magicchainsmoker]

Larry Bundy Jr that one was a damn shame considering all the expectations we had and the extra movie footage they shot. Would have made a nice expansion to the lore if they put a fraction of the effort they put into the cutscenes into the actual game itself.

[@fallouthirteen]

I think it was more a matter of they had way too large of a scope for the game than it being rushed. Like I remember reading interviews before release and they even intended to have more in it (like being able to learn and level up different fighting styles). The hacking side game though was really good in it. Unfortunately I think the PS2 version was pretty bad; it had a high chance of freezing on one of the last cutscenes of level 3.

[@european-one]

I actually enjoyed the game. Maybe it would seem bad to me now but as a kid I loved it

[@magicchainsmoker]

european-one trust me, those glasses you're remembering it through are super rosey. It was easy to get caught up in that particular hype train. The tie-in factor and the concept blinded a lot of people (and even some reviewers) to the game's awful controls and horrendous environments. Or the ad campaign that featured more lies than a Peter Molyneux kickstarter. But anyways . . .

[@JustinY.]

"Box of stuff" more like box of overpriced nostalgia

[@clowndogstation4979]

Jesus christ, you are everywhere.

[@ChilisBabyBackRib]

Dude you watch everyone

[@monty3046]

You get around.

[@homiespaghetti1522]

Insert comment about how I see you everywhere.

[@NeilusNihilus]

that is what all these boxes are. overpriced trash, but hey idiots buy them anyway.

[@ZacHawkins42]

Was really hoping you would've gotten the couch keychain...

[@KaseyWynne]

That green thing on the simpson's keychain is the nuclear rod that homer pulls out from behind his shirt in the opening.

[@lanceschutte7903]

Charlotte Larson no it's not it's the rod that saves him when he becomes an astronaut

[@frankschneider6156]

You mean there is more than one Radioactive Man ?

[@thealien_ali3382]

Charlotte Larson and he shoves it up his ass

[@beauaadams153]

Interesting Emerald is a bootleg (like the ones you can get off wish), and the back of the three hearts pin is Hyrule Castle but...ist from Minish Cap for some reason. I mean I loved Minish cap but you think they would of taken a screen shot off from ocarina of time or a link to the past. Since those are more popular.

[@EvtheNev]

Enter the Matrix is in fact 1p on amazon.

[@Crazy_Borg]

That's a bargain for a reusable DVD case. Even if its blue.

[@EvtheNev]

You get a free frisbee too!

[@aceisking]

1p to much

[@therunawaykid6523]

Probably what cex would give you for it as well

[@RuneSwagga]

I stumbled upon your movie by accident.. my God ashens. I love u

[@Drawyah]

Ashens in 60fps, it's all so smoooooth! Much more than the 4:3 low res videos from 10 years ago.

[@Notpoop906]

16:26 Probably a good thing he couldn't remember Cartmans Hero name 😂

[@charliespooks1]

yay The Darkest Dawn is on Canadian Netflix. I know what I'm watching later. Trailer was really cool.

[@kubi0461]

That loot crate had quite the value. Here in the future the stuff in that loot box totals around $60-70 in actual ebay sold listings, with the back to the future shirt fetching $30-35 of it.

[@Keanine]

For the infinity stone pin, they could have made a gauntlet and done the same thing as they did with the hearts where you have more infinity stones the rarer it is. Instead of multicoloured potatoes

[@thedutyfree-tdf]

Omg.. I have seen that movie 3 years ago! I only just realise it is you.... mind blown!

[@bendubu]

I got an advert for that film on KZbin when Netflix added it! I had no idea you were I. It and literally jumped up and down like “It’s Ashens, it’s Ashens!!” ✌🏼

[@DhavidSetiawanKilluaDhavid]

Bloody hell! Are we still doing these???

[@Atzros]

infinity lumps

[@andrewamp1]

Atzros infinity kidney stones.

[@kiraworthington]

I do hope you're going to give back to the future t-shirt to Barry Lewis

[@tjh98]

Rip sleep, for our God, Ashens, has uploaded 😍

[@ellaisplotting]

For a moment I thought you were daring to overturn Slepp The Idol and deify Ashens in his place.

[@eliotpoynton9349]

I watched the movie (The Darkest Dawn) and haft to say it is pretty good. It is very gripping in some scenes and very well acted. I really like the way it is filmed in first person as well as it makes this particular movie stand out quite a bit from others. Overall 7.5/10 Well Done!

[@i.m.evilhomer5084]

The CGI for The Darkest Dawn doesn't look too bad for an indie film.

[@kabobawsome]

Rodrigo Campos Tbh, the problem wasn't with the script. It was mainly the delivery of it. The acting beyond Ashens (who, by the way, legitimately surprised me with how good he was) wasn't fantastic and I feel that drug the movie way down

[@ronsaarna1235]

I was rather surprised to see Simon Pegg in it though.

[@axolotllan]

Why would you be surprised at Ashens having acting skill? He's had years of acting training - its called a Doctorate in Psychology.

[@Solarstar10]

Watch the Gareth Edwards film Monsters. An indie film in which he did all the visual effects literally on his own in his bedroom, effects which are far more impressive and technically challenging than what you see here, and you'll see just how bad the effects in this film are. Seriously, I've seen better visual effects in some KZbin videos.

[@Spillage66]

*Dragged*

[@TheCunningStunt]

I keep seeing Darkest Dawn on Netflix and kept passing on it cos I thought it was the usual B-Grade guff..... now I know Stuart's in it I'll watch it now., although it'll probably still be B-grade guff.

[@mspenrice]

That blue lump looks like something I made at playgroup when I was about 4 years old... Is it me or was there another thing left in the Pinz box at the end?

[@Ascendancy-]

i dont care what you say, enter the matrix was absolutely amazing. i only rented it and i beat the game twice. so fun. havent played a game like it since

[@RIXRADvidz]

as a Cold War Baby, I'm always fascinated by other people's view of Total Destruction. very good mr. ashens

[@SuperDancingdevil]

Started following you as i am now addicted to watching bloody Loot Crate boxes n it's all your fault!, So much so I'm going to invest quids yes QUIDS on a box type thing for meself there is I've heard a Super Loot box knocking about so i might plump for that one, Keep just knocking them vids out Espesially the Poundland and food ones and of course the old mystery boxes.........Ho! Hum! Time for a Cider now ta! ta!.

[@ikeyasector]

Wow. The movie looks like something I'm actually interested in. I'll have to check it out when it's available here in the states.

[@Phoenix2312]

Always love your unboxing videos @Ashens... Mainly as you don't pander - You tell it like it is! But Now I am going to pander - That Trailer - SOLD!!! I LIKE WHAT I SEE!!! I wanna see that film!

[@IamHedgehog]

Randomly woke up at 3am, Ooow an Ashens video nice!

[@Uglyidiot86]

Dave Hedgehog I did too! It’s like our brains subconsciously knew!

[@paulnash9851]

I find the idea of Dr Ashen as an action hero strangely appealing.

[@michael1234252]

I'm a big Back To The Future fan and I need that lootcrate shirt.

[@elliottdodson50]

ebay

[@guns102]

The Retro Store Game box is pretty damn amazing. I've been with them since it started it was nice watching them grow from shipping them in envelopes then eventually having them upgrade to boxes and now they add little bonuses :). I got pokemon emerald 2 boxes ago (1 week ago I was a little behind) I guess they must of got a lot of pokemon games recently because I also got ruby :P

[@CapHowdy]

I had Dragons Lair on the Amiga, and it was pretty much just a port of the arcade machine version. There was a C64 version as well, but think that may have been the same as the SNES or NES version.

[@HellrazerX]

Sad that "The Darkest Dawn" is definitely not on US Netflix...

[@kabobawsome]

Charles Hogan Having bought it, it's not great. Stuart is probably the highlight of the whole thing. Not just because he's Stuart, but also because he had some of the best acting of the whole film

[@lessofyou]

looks like a shit movie anyway

[@sjames5027]

You'll just have to see Ashens as a gun toting paedophile in a generic alien invasion story another day.

[@Nails_By_Kimberlee]

It is now. I just looked it up

[@tastywindex]

that die keeper is a pretty nice little mini. maybe not super in scale with a lot of dragon ones but it at least looks nice.

[@Donteatacowman]

I didn't realize the Simpsons posed such a language barrier 😂 Good on you for translating.

[@OnlyEpicEmber]

Sonic. Speed of sound. It's taken me far too many years to realise this.

[@SkillHornskillz]

The Darkest Dawn. Hope it's on Net Flix Canada

[@SkillHornskillz]

That Game Child movie was off the hook. Best movie ever!

[@SkillHornskillz]

Well almost as good as "The Crazy Adventures of Dave Savage"

[@Zack_Wester]

I hope they changed the internal batteries on the SNES and GBA cartridge? or saving is going to be a bit of a problem.

[@numbers9to0]

I was hoping for an Ashens upload at 3 in the night. So I can't go to sleep... Thanks for making my insomnia worse.

[@NathansWargames]

the geekteebag thing is actually a really good deal, only 13 quid for 2 shirts ?

[@HellYeahCorp]

Curious. I got that Flying Hellfish keychain (one of the options) two years ago for destroying the Infinity Oven Mit. Very curious.

[@Komikmaker]

Ashens, you're right. Emerald came out in 2005.

[@ryoung6518]

Like other people said, the Pokemon Emerald is fake, no factory imprint numbers, incorrect circuit board, wrong shine on the label and design to some of the logos

[@harrisonvandewater4959]

The idea that the early 2000's are considered retro makes me feel awfully old.

[@bluechips5042]

First time I've seen ashens do these manly because I love the joystick episode

[@Luka1180]

I miss having more of the Munchpack type boxes :( Moar food and snacks please!

[@WEdwardsPortfolio]

PJ an Duncan intro! Best. Day. Everrr!

[@Darthwill44]

Woohoo needed more ashens to watch after working 10 straight days

[@killerdiva7771]

Am i the only one that noticed there was still one pin in the box lol 😂

[@metalmugen]

Darkest Dawn is on Netflix Mexico, imma watch it tomorrow

[@dardoscorvo510]

That first Loot Box was not the same one, Ethan Van Sciver from ComicArtistPro Secrets just throw in the trash? I remember seeing that Sonic pack landing in the trash can of his.

[@Rayquazaknight]

Pokemon Emerald was my first Pokemon game it was released in 2004 and it had a collaboration of the Ruby and Sapphire games with a huge end game

[@kojified]

what do you do with all of the t shirts you’ve collected over the years?

[@VioletWhirlwind]

"Mustache Phil" XDXD Gonna have to remember that as a nickname for Eggman...XD That Sonic figurine...WANT *~Grabby hands, GRABBY HANDS~* The dragon die-keeper is very nice too.

[@DrMurdercock]

Movie looks awesome. Congrats, man

[@cole5676]

I played ETM for hours and hours as a kid, it was my childhood!

[@Keanine]

After a quick and un-thorough look at ebay and amazon, Enter the Matrix seems to be selling for upwards of £10, so theres that. But if you go to CeX you can get it for 50p

[@i.m.evilhomer5084]

Funny enough, Google recommended Godmonster of Indian Flats when I searched for The Darkest Dawn.

[@DarthPerkins]

Josh I It's an awesome film. Also check out Alabama's Ghost by the same Director on my other channel Dial C for Cult.

[@Boogie_the_cat]

A geeky teabag is what happens if you pass out while playing D&D. You wake up abd there's pictures of you receiving a geeky teabag.

[@JasonZakrajsek]

Apparently the “Infinity Stone” pin glows in the dark? That’s what it seems like when you pause the video and try to read the back of the box.

[@ObiMace]

A DeLorean themed T-shirt? Wow. Never seen that one before. What innovation.

[@SaribTahir]

Poundland special

[@dannyboy8635]

love the loot crate vids thx man oh dam I have to watch that film looks dam good

[@KamakazeTaco]

I thought the blind bags were random, but I've seen 2 other people open that loot crate and get the squishie keychain.

[@gato38]

The Darkest Dawn is on Netflix Canada :D

[@thomasjenkins7506]

congrats on the film, ashens.

[@lessofyou]

too bad an unoriginal piece of shit found footage movie

[@thomasjenkins7506]

meh, not much different than another unoriginal static or multicamera movie.

[@JohnSTF72]

Does Ashens say "Hello!" in The Darkest Dawn?? I now need to watch this.

[@johneygd]

The first retro box in old crt tv style is the best looking box.

[@benseguin6141]

is Ashens gonna space out for a minute in this video? 50/50 chance I'd say

[@luvz2reed]

It looks like the gem pins fit together in some way. So there you go.

[@ZeldaDD]

Huh, did they flat out use assets from Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap on the back of the box with those heart pins in it? That's a bit naughty, eh?

[@SofaPop.]

This is hands down the best crate yet

[@matzer1110]

Omg i am defo giving that film a watch ashens it look god dam amazing bud

[@Captain1diot]

I've watched The Darkest Dawn and Hungerford. Good films.although I didn't know what happened to Ashens character.

[@Dusty_989]

As the rest of the pins are game related, are we sure the "Infinity Stone" pin wasn't an Astroid from "Astroids"?

[@That_Coffee_Cat]

I quite like the red dragon die keeper. I'll buy it from you if you don't want it?

[@Cs-zp5sr]

Enjoy your prune pin!

[@vjpearce]

Enter the Matrix finished my relationship with my old boyfriend, which I was trying to end for months, so in my eyes, it's the best game ever. He couldn't finish a boss fight and after telling 3 times to try it another way, it gave it to me and... I accidentally completed the game for him. How was I to know it was the final boss? He was well mad =D

[@SawedOffLaser]

Ashens in glorious 50fps? Beautiful.

[@mspenrice]

Damn it, I really want a Wham bar now. Bet they're not as good as I remember :p

[@redroversk]

Didn't you already make this video with the same stuff in the box? I feel like I watched this a year ago.

[@zeikjt]

I actually really enjoyed Enter the Matrix as a kid! The gameplay wasn't amazing but it was enjoyable and the hacking console really captured my imagination.

[@amandaburton2881]

Great to see Simon Pegg supporting indie cinema.

[@Estlib]

is your gamechild movie on netflix too?

[@Codemarla]

Ashens' face is thumbnail for that movie on Netflix. Playing to their strengths