Lord of Patriarchy Might Be the Filthiest Human

[@danielomar9712]

The chatter's racism warning was expected , but i didn't expect him to BOOM and destroy my wall with the sudden gamer moment

[@ranbummerz729]

Yeah I thought it would be typical "Tyrone is fucking my wife" racism, not just straight up old fashioned racism geez

[@SkycometAnimeVamp]

Ikr. Like right out of the gate he gave everyone whiplash 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@RawketSushi]

When Jake was making wings, Dave and his chat laughed at him for leaving a utensil near uncooked chicken, a utensil that he was using to handle said chicken, but when he's watching a video that is actually talking about safety standards and warning about cross contamination, he says cross contamination is "bs" and that he's "never seen a plausible scenario?"

[@yourhorseyepona7309]

Let's not forget: "Bacteria can't live on porcelain!"🤢

[@RecRoomPlays]

The thing is, Dave doesn't actually know anything about what he's talking about, he just is jealous and mad at Jake so he wants to say that everything Jake does is somehow wrong.

[@RawketSushi]

@@RecRoomPlays truuuu

[@RawketSushi]

@@yourhorseyepona7309 That just sounds like bs and makes me hope very dearly that Dave doesn't have any porcelain dishes cuz he might not be washing them if he does

[@ladyonasi]

Dave, eating off of a toilet seat: "Kissing is icky!"

[@JEEBUSxHIMSELF]

it blew my mind when i learned soap only works because things stick to it better than us

[@steffanshurkin1123]

Why is Dave so angered by cleanliness? What the hell?

[@kermitthorson9719]

dave saying he'll cook for you is a threat of poisoning

[@FuzzballStudios]

“A lot of mould is beneficial!” Yeah, and do you think they were talking about those kinds of mould?

[@seraphonica]

Dave held a barbecue for his followers today. there were no survivors.

[@sophitiaofhyrule]

Dave seems like the kinda guy to think that washing your hands is gay

[@GregFThatBespectacledPegasus]

Dave is so unnecessarily angry about everything. Jeez.

[@Nekulturny]

I know. Its just weird, hes looking for a fight everywhere he goes.

[@MadockTheOtt]

insecurity will do that to you. dude has a chip on his shoulder 24/7 so he needs to constantly assert himself as a superior in one way or another

[@NorthernPikeChannel]

He’s like Inmendham back in the day. Perpetually angry inexplicably.

[@justanotherutuber3]

@@NorthernPikeChannel except inmendham has good reasons to be mad this guys just a virgin

[@Nekulturny]

We do, gotta problem?@villainyoutsider647

[@Nerobyrne]

Well this does explain why his beard is the size of Balin's, but looks like it was upkept by Gollum 💀

[@SeverelyGlitchy]

That beard could be fucking sick if he took care of it. And himself also lol.

[@tubian323]

You've talked us into it Dave, we won't wash out hands or take any hygiene precautions when handling your food.

[@flobwad]

Ahhh, Classic Dave. Only a minute into that video and he was already shouting like a toddler. And “Hair Is Pretty Clean”? Really? I would just LOVE to see the village of bacteria and fungi thriving on that spacey noggin of his. Also, _every human on this earth is susceptible to food-borne illness, NO EXCEPTIONS!_ Even me, who - for a reason I still don’t know - only gets sick once or twice a year, and it’s usually just the common cold. Story Time: I was sick with food poisoning when I ate cold cuts from my fridge that were older than I believed them to be. Later on I was trapped on the toilet with a plastic bag to my face, it was an “Everything Must Go” situation coming out my Front End and Back End. (It could’ve been E-Coli, I have a friend who was hospitalized with the same, but much worse, symptoms I had when infected. He had caught it after (rather stupidly, but we were all teenaged thrill-seekers at the time) swimming and tubing in flood water that had come in contact with the neighborhood’s septic system during the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.)

[@yourhorseyepona7309]

Right, even if hair had no bacteria, it sure as hell has dandruff and hair product. Getting grossed out by the thought of it.

[@JovanDacic]

But ceramic is clean and bacteria won't grow on it! (Uh, Dave, the container itself might be inhospitable to bacteria, but the invisible microscopic layer of scum from inadequately washing your dishes can certainly harbor bacteria. Remember, people's mouths might have come in contact with the dishes and utensils! Mouths that people have 💋kissed💋 with!)

[@biz0unc3]

He's looking to be the most right person in the room where nobody asked.

[@MagnaOmerta]

When I was in the Marines, the cooks used to smoke while they were making breakfast and it made the potatoes taste like an ashtray.

[@troubledvoidling9741]

this man seems profoundly unwell

[@tyrongkojy]

I also don't send my food back if I find a hair, but that's because I don't want to make a big deal out of a simple mistake that can happen at any point, ie it might be the server's (or might be my own hair). Not because it's "clean". Dave's gross.

[@JCstock]

Yeah unless it's like a lot of hairs, one hair isn't worth it. Just pick it out.

[@tyrongkojy]

@@JCstock Indeed.

[@someonerandom8552]

Lol reminds me of a time I saw a lady return her meal, it was just a little coffee shop. She didn’t make a fuss but pointed out the hair in her soup. Only to realise it was actually hers. To her credit she did profusely apologise to the server

[@tyrongkojy]

@@someonerandom8552 I FULLY admit, that's one of my big fears. ESPECIALLY back when I had really long hair (just above my ass). In fact, it was my mom finding one of mine in her food (when I hadn't even been in the room all day. And there was no doubt it was mine) that convinced me to finally just cut it. That was mortifying.

[@tartagliussy529]

Nah seriously, it's gross but I'm just not about to make a fuss

[@jfbrko290]

Dave probably saw the health inspector at his grocery store only once because it was the one time they couldn't find him in time to hide him.

[@residentsleeper8639]

​@TheManOfManyFaces316Dude wtf...Is your brother blessed by Nurgle or something? That's horrifying actually 😬

[@residentsleeper8639]

@TheManOfManyFaces316 OH. Oh my god, I'm so sorry, That's genuinely sickening...I hope you're in a place with better living conditions now.

[@aldxbaran]

@TheManOfManyFaces316 Why do you love Dave

[@bleakautomaton4808]

Even on your worst mental health day take a shower. This isn't to be belittling or talk trash on anyone. You will feel better after a shower at least (to the possible hyperbolic person who would defensively say "oh that'll solve all my problems huh" - obviously no, nothing solves every problem). I'm sick as a dog right now and still throwing this out into the internet ether to just say do what you damn well can, even if it's shower more than once a week. Ok?

[@sierramobley8962]

gotta second this, showers are so integral especially on mental health days. no they won’t magically cure you of depression, but it’s damn sure easier to sleep, eat, and find motivation to do things when your body is clean. it makes everything a little more comfortable.

[@alphakevin687]

This is actually pretty good advice

[@SeverelyGlitchy]

I mean, not that I would have ever eaten Lord of gloop's food to begin with, but my resolve is strengthened.

[@phillgornall2296]

He has fans? that pay him?!?

[@n0etic_f0x]

Wow, and this man says he has restaurant experience and would win at any comparison.

[@flobwad]

Someone should tell Dave that being a doorman for an Arby’s for just a week doesn’t count as “Restaurant Experience”.

[@MetalxLicaxPP]

You fools, Dave comes from a distant future where hair and smoke of all kinds has become pure and consumed on a daily basis. The one thing they can't cure are germs that only manifest during a kiss.

[@ConsciusVeritasVids]

I'd place my bet that every time Dave was working his shift that there was a sudden spike in restaurant patrons who got diarrhea after eating there.

[@TheDigitalWatcher]

There is NO fucking way this dude is ServSafe certified.

[@elfbreath]

He straight up lies to make himself look better all the time, so yeah

[@bradthegigachad7120]

How the fuck did he pass?

[@FrozEnbyWolf150]

This sounds like the start of Dave's antivaxxer arc.

[@charwyrm8702]

THE LOOOOATHSOME DUNG EATER

[@residentsleeper8639]

THE CRAZED CACA CONSOOOOMER

[@optillian4182]

THE INFAMOUS DOODOO MUNCHER

[@SilverDragonJay]

"kissing is the most disgusting thing humans do" I won't debate that, mostly because I don't care to (kiss or argue, honestly). But also, there's a reason people don't kiss literally everyone they meet. Most people are only going to kiss a very small subset of people they ever encounter. I'm talking like .1% or 0.01% Further: two people kissing each other doesn't have any impact on me, that's a decision that the two of them make without involving me at all. Someone smoking while making my food or neglecting to wash their hands _does_ impact me. I would be grossed out if someone I didn't know walked up and kissed me without consent, just as I would be grossed out if I found some rando's hair in my food. If its your partner, on the other hand, someone you know and spend a lot of time with then both kissing and stray hairs in food are less gross. I shouldn't need to explain this but... *Daaaaaaaave.*

[@kermitthorson9719]

dave's hair, 1,000%, is not clean

[@HumanIsError]

The grossest thing a person can do is kiss Dave

[@shannond1511]

“Kisseen” I hate it when ppl talk like this. Also, sorry lance from the serfs

[@ZoeVexed]

More like Lord of Filth, amirite?

[@tubian323]

"Cooking with Dave" hits different now😷

[@residentsleeper8639]

He's a certified Champion of Nurgle fr...

[@jordinagel1184]

@@residentsleeper8639Dave, the Great Unclean One

[@bloodmoon0746]

This guy has to wipe his feet before he goes outside, no way in hell he was certified

[@IRJ53I]

I'm gonna go shower now.

[@JovanDacic]

Oh no. Oh no. Please please not Dumpster Dave

[@tinycrimester]

dave: i'll even cook for ya me: (please don't) dave: but i'm not gonna fugg ya me: (oh thank god)

[@TackeMatty]

Dave will disagree with anything he watches, it's his personality

[@RecRoomPlays]

Whew, that "content warning: racism" really was immediately proved accurate as soon as Dave opened his mouth, huh?

[@kermitthorson9719]

i actually saw a post to stupid food page where 2 guys made cigar BBQ sauce, they simmered it while the both ashed their massive cigars into it. i almost threw up

[@shannond1511]

Just because you haven’t seen health standards being upheld at your jobs personally, doesn’t mean that’s the way it was supposed to be. I always forget how conservatives really think like a 3 yr old

[@wolframglsum4538]

Toilet seats arnt porcelain.

[@luciuseclipse]

Porcelain does seem to be antibacterial, but that doesn't make bathrooms the cleanest place like Dave suggests. We use porcelain in bathrooms because of how unclean everything that gets taken care of there is. It doesn't remove the need to be hygienic.

[@Nekulturny]

Thats neat to know. Although unfortunately for Dave, Its a moot point anyway. I don't know about him but I'm 38, the vast majority of public toilet seats I've encountered in my life were plastic.

[@luciuseclipse]

@@Nekulturny true, most bathrooms don’t even have that much porcelain anyways.

[@Nekulturny]

@@luciuseclipse Yeah even my toilet seat in my home is plastic come to think of it. The toilet is porcelain at least as far as I know, but I bought a rather premium toilet seat (100 dollars, its one of those Big John seats for people with mobility issues which I have) so, no I don't sit my butt directly on the bowl lol.

[@Nekulturny]

Yeah... Dave, I invite you to my area, I want you to walk precisely one block from my apartment and try that impression at the liquor store across from the convenience store. I'm gonna watch from a distance though, I'm not racist towards my neighbors and thus, amazingly, I don't have many problems with them. You will, very quickly, Dave.

[@Nekulturny]

God... I just realized there is no way Dave holds down a high level job. Hes probably making our food somewhere.... with that attitude towards food safety.

[@biz0unc3]

He's going to get Noro one day, not keep up on his hydration, and die of organ failure in his sleep.

[@jackjohnson1128]

Oh my god, there's no way he doesn't have a chemical dependency for alcohol at this point. If he gets some serious shit, he's going to dehydrate in a scarily fast amount of time with all that stacked against him. Man I wish Dave could get his shit together even a little bit.

[@ConsciusVeritasVids]

Dave's last words: *_"How can I be dehydrated? Beer is made of water, morons!"_*

[@smithblack5945]

​@@ConsciusVeritasVidsNo, it'll be "I don't have a problem."

[@orinjayce]

​@@ConsciusVeritasVidsexcept way louder

[@yourhorseyepona7309]

Grim and blunt, but very likely.

[@nunyabidness4220]

Dave seems to be composed out of the same stuff as a bathtub ring, minus the soap scum.

[@sevens3]

@0:30 Wow, that took all of about 0.2 SECONDS to get to the content of which we were forewarned! ALSO--WHO IS A FAN OF DAVE, AND HOW?!

[@Kropothead]

Other weird sad guys who sound and act very much like Dave. Misery loving company and all that.

[@Quasita]

I really want to meet Dave after hearing him say that every woman would cower behind him if the shit hits the fan.. because I'm pretty sure that he's not bigger than me, height wise at least. I'm 6'1 now but I've lost a couple of inches over my lifetime and I'm willing to bet money that he's not as tall as me... And I've seen enough of his full body profile to know that I'm likely more agile and mobile even with my knee braces on lol I don't mean to body shame the guy but if I've got to choose somebody to protect me when the apocalypse happens and my choice is between him and myself... I imagine if we faced it side by side, he would try to do his performative masculinity thing, but would struggle to keep up and I can imagine that eventually, we'd come to a point where either have to watch him be sacrificed or I have to fight on his behalf. The saddest thing about that in concept is that I'm not sure he would do the same in return like if my leg was broken and he was charged with the task of protecting me from a predator or something. I imagine he would then justify it as sacrificing the week to save the majority or whatever. I did appreciate his accidental ally moment though where he declared he'd still be a man regardless of whether or not he'd cut off his cock and balls. Understand the argument he thinks he's making there, but what he's ultimately supporting is the argument that most of us on his apparent opposition side make, which is that your gender identity is not directly attached to your genitals. All he argued in that moment was that if you take away his external genitals and make him like a Ken doll, he would still be a man and thus supporting the idea that what determines his manhood has nothing to do with his cock and balls. I imagine that something that he's had to think about a little bit cuz I don't think he'd have the capacity to see it based on what seems to be his belly size. Again, not trying to body shame, but I've known many bigger guys that had bellies that grew big enough to make it so they couldn't see themselves even if using a mirror and have had discussions about what that feels like as a man being unable to see parts of your body. Sometimes it's about body image issues, sometimes it's about the visual affirmation of having a dick, but a lot of guys are really insecure about it and have to come to terms with their identity surrounding those kinds of body image issues. I used to be much bigger and is a woman, I did have some of that going on, but I could at least still relatively experience that part of my body without a lot of change to the method because the majority of that experience is not easy in the visualization department even for very slim person... But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that losing enough weight so that I could just look down at myself if I wanted to didn't feel like an accomplishment in itself. Anyway, I don't want to burst the guy's bubble cuz I don't think he's got a whole lot going for him... But I'm kind of excited to see that my prediction made many weeks ago now that he worked as an overnight stock runner at a grocery store was an accurate read on him.

[@__Andrew]

Another point to Dave's stupid argument that "cross contamination is about between raw and cooked food", does Dave not realize we cook food at different temps? The reason we cook chicken to 165 is to kill Salmonellae and E Coli. Meanwhile a rare steak might be cooked as low as 120 degrees. So cross contamination from raw chicken, moved to a steak can survive the cooking that meat's cooking process. And this goes for of course other cooked foods Dave thinks kills the contaminates like side dishes and greens.

[@AxelLeJeff]

Dave sources his dry rubs from only the finest ash trays.

[@luciuseclipse]

Why does Dave go back and forth pretending to be cool with things? "Oh I'd watch your show and have a drink with you" straight to "You fuckers wanna read stories to kids" Yeah, you seem real okay with drag, Dave.

[@evabeezero]

I mean yes, I am in a heterosexual relationship and have been for 23 years. But I'm not heterosexual, and I've known that since I was a fucking KID. Being in a heterosexual relationship doesn't make me any less pansexual than if I was with a cis woman/trans person/single.

[@luciuseclipse]

"All humans do it" How does he associate that with kissing? Like sure it's a major way we show affection, but it's not an action that I would immediately think all people do. I'm sure there is a significant number of people who do not like to kiss and rarely if ever kiss.

[@KokoroKaisen]

allowing meat to reach room temp before cooking is an actual thing. idk if it actually does anything, but ive read about it being a technique (for beef). its supposed make the meat cook more evenly. it also makes the fat softer and easier to melt in the pan youre also supposed to salt it while it sits. everything else he says is absolute insanity though. broken clocks i guess

[@sierramobley8962]

same, this is what i do for steaks and thick-cut pork chops every time. they cook really well that way and the flavor & texture are much better than when i used to just take them out of the fridge and season them and put the cold meat into the pan

[@absinthefandubs9130]

I wouldn't ever have expected to see someone get actually angry about basic hygiene but Dave just couldn't help it. "Hair is pretty clean" eeeh I guess but yours definitely isn't. We need to convince Dave the Contrarian that feminists hate men who piss and shit their pants.

[@StagPr1nce]

If smoking is so bad... then why does it CURE salmon?

[@SeverelyGlitchy]

Checkmate, brother. Checkmate.

[@yaumelepire6310]

Copper, Silver, and certain alloys thereof do have certain antiseptic properties without being too toxic to us. I don't remember whether it's because of chemistry or electricity, but they are. Porcelain, and other ceramics, though... Bacteria, fungus spores and viruses especially can all survive on that for ages. They won't develop smells, but that doesn't mean they're clean.

[@kermitthorson9719]

never, ever eat something Dave "cooked"

[@ziggylegion1604]

11:35 "he probably keeps the beer in here so nobody else in the house takes it." aw jake giving him the benefit of the doubt is so sweet of you, but we all know that there has never been or will ever be a single other living thing anywhere in or around the landfill this man calls a dwelling.

[@Trash_Khloe_420]

Dave cannot possibly have done servsafe and be saying fucking hair and cigarette ash in your food is fine

[@rosem6604]

lol! I'm from a whole other continent, not using a VPN and yet I got a Carl's Jr ad before this video. We don't even have them here yet Dave summoned their ad to me. Very well done, Dave. Also - take a shower. Wash your clothes. Vacuum your beard. Unfortunately, I'm closely acquainted with a lovely person who, for some reason, can't abide by basic germ-theory rules. Their immune system must be made of steel by now but it can get a bit 'dude, when have you washed your hands lately?' sometimes. Weirdly enough they are aware of meat safety 🤷‍♀But again - they are a lovely, kind human so they are worth hanging out with. Unlike unkissable Dave.

[@SaintSwibbens]

Dude is sauced

[@kermitthorson9719]

serve dave a plate of food with an actual piece of shit as a side. dont tell him, see if he thinks its some sort of sweet potatoe

[@silaskuemmerle2505]

There are only 2 or 3 health inspectors in some fairly good sized towns, of course he didn't see them often

[@Topboxicle]

Holy shit, I know Australian food safety laws are kinda a meme with how strict they are, and I get it, I've done like like three units on food safety to get a basic qualification to work with food, videos like this make me so glad that's the case.

[@pedroguerrero3862]

Good lord, this guy couldn't have passed elementary school, at least. I find it so funny and telling that he's trying to downgrade the important ant profession of health inspector, just to feel good about himself. Also to be a health inspector require a bachelor degree in a bio or health science related to food.

[@nathandoyle625]

Soap breaks surface tension. It actually makes water wetter.

[@ditzyhere3138]

Cross contamination not real. *describes thing that can happen that is in fact cross contamination*

[@LaylaSpellwind]

"I seen the health inspector once." And he said "FIRE THIS MAN NOW!" "I'll cook for ya!" That's a threat. Contact a lawyer, that is an actual threat.

[@sigmascrub]

I ripped off a pigeon's head, once 😥

[@QuantumTelephone]

Why admit this?

[@unduloid]

Black mold toast is actually considered a delicacy in many countries!

[@chibbersthesquirrel6189]

Oh god how does he continue to get worse

[@n0etic_f0x]

By the way, if you want to clean anything you need only two products. Cleaning Vinigar and Chemstar multi-surface. If you buy a thing of Chemstar it will last you... possibly decades for home use. It is made to clean entire supermarkets and hotels. Not sponsored or anything just if you never want to buy cleaning products again, it is industry standard. You have been to places that use it.

[@joshkaid]

I've literally never seen a man rail against basic food hygene.

[@bradthegigachad7120]

Who wants someone to smoke when making their food this ain’t a godamn Waffle House.

[@Leftistmushroom]

0:52 Off to a great start

[@flobwad]

Ah, Classic Dave, only a minute into the video and he’s already yelling like a toddler. And “Hair Is Pretty Clean”, really? I’d love to see the bacteria and fungus farm currently thriving on Dave’s head. Also, _every human on this earth is susceptible to food-borne illness, NO EXCEPTIONS!_ Including me, who (for a reason I still don’t know) only becomes ill once or twice a year, and it’s usually just the common cold. Story Time: I had food poisoning many years ago from eating cold cuts in my fridge that were older than I thought it were. To make a long story short: I was stuck on the toilet with a plastic bag to my mouth, everything was all coming out from the Front End and the Back End vigorously and painfully. (Could’ve been E-Coli, I have a friend who had much similar, but worse, symptoms when he was hospitalized for E-Coli, after (rather stupidly, but we were all teenaged thrill-seekers at the time) swimming and tubing in flood water exposed to the neighborhood’s septic systems during the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.)

[@kyledadumb4354]

Dave sounds like he makes himself sick unintentionally with his own cooking

[@bradthegigachad7120]

Dave should do himself a favor and read Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle.

[@Lakeside_Flower]

My answer from Copilot (ChatGPT): Absolutely, even though porcelain is resistant to bacteria due to its non-porous nature, it's still important to clean it regularly. This is because dirt, dust, and other particles can accumulate on the surface over time. Regular cleaning not only maintains the appearance of the porcelain but also ensures its longevity. So, while porcelain's resistance to bacteria does reduce the need for aggressive disinfectants, regular cleaning with a mild detergent is still recommended.

[@DouglasWalrath]

even if bacteria couldn't survive on porcelain the parts of the toilet you most commonly touch and interact with (ie the seat, lid, and flush handle) aren't made of porcelain, they're made of plastic, metal, or even sometimes wood

[@CKingKahn13]

Ask Sam Seder, he plays a heath inspector lol

[@kermitthorson9719]

well what is the actual cause of death via shitting to death. id presume it's dehydration. or a combo of that and not getting nutrients cause everything running thru? going without water gets you faster than food

[@ianperry8557]

3:50 bruh hair is a great way to transfer staphylococcus lmao, it’s c 3:50 ertainly not the worst thing but still something you should avoid.

[@Theoviking3]

Is it emberassing that this is the video I learn that cold doesn't kill, but just halt bacteria? 😅

[@rustkitty]

"I'm flattered but I'm straight" On one hand I was thinking "why that's unnecessarily rude, what's wrong with just saying 'I'm not interested'?", on the other hand if a person volunteers to expose their own transphobia that's helpful information to everyone.

[@Andysavage24]

Good thing Dave will never kiss anyone.

[@ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos]

31:02 louder for the dips on the right

[@amberrreith7851]

lmao as someone that worked at a Government Permitting Office with some of the food inspectors in the state (fl has everything split up wack as fuck), its relatively easy to become an inspector. u just have to have like a bachelors in a science and apply for the job, basically. but u also have to drive across the county/several counties (depending on what your county has jurisdiction over) and deal with ppl who are not managing their shit despite being given ample time to fix their problems. even if they Allegedly only came thru 1 time while he worked there, that doesnt mean they a) came thru while he was not working or b) he was not made aware that they were coming bc hes nasty as fuck and would immediately get their permit revoked lmfao but that also largely depends on the state! a lot of permitting varies state by state. its frustrating if you plan on moving and have any kind of permits in your state bc most of them dont transfer lmfao

[@kapnikronik1458]

i started working in kitchens when i was 18, im 37 now..............everything dave says is dangerously wrong.

[@DamienPalmer]

@11:40 I just lost The Game.

[@Nobody_Fn_Important]

Dave would make a great bullet sponge when shit hits the fan, this is true

[@natrixxvision6997]

13:11 Idiot sandwich.

[@ziggylegion1604]

dave isnt just at rock bottom, he is literally the rock at rock bottom.

[@nunyabidness4220]

I think we should listen to Dave. He's obviously an expert on all areas concerning hygiene. I mean, just look at him. You'd have to go way outside a septic tank to find anything cleaner than Dave.

[@idknemore525]

I don't even like tobacco but smoking some meat or something with some high quality tobacco leaves or a nice cigar could be an interesting experiment. I'm just curious now.

[@Nekulturny]

Many years ago I used to smoke Dunhills, very high quality. I smoked like a chimney, nah, you don't want your food to be smoked with tobacco.

[@HotTakeAndy]

This dude cannot be for real. He looks 50 with the knowledge of a 8 year old.

[@DeanTheGuillotine]

I bet Dave is fun at parties

[@tatertotbobaandpieck]

"Bacteria can't live on porcelain" is the funniest most pulled-out-of-my-ass fucking thing I've ever heard

[@Theoviking3]

I'm not sure if it's a good thing, but seeing Dave ranting and raving incoherently about nothing while drunk makes me feel less bad about my own drinking

[@Theoviking3]

It's probably bad, because it gives me a 'this is the line. As long as I'm not here, I'm fine!' Sort of thing.

[@idkwhattohaveasausername5828]

Fellas remember, it is *NOT* gay to wash your ass

[@yaumelepire6310]

And even if it were, that wouldn't be a good reason not to do it.

[@idkwhattohaveasausername5828]

@@yaumelepire6310 to right wingers that would definitely be enough

[@yourhorseyepona7309]

But fellas, is it gay to clean your toilet and dishes?😂

[@yaumelepire6310]

@@idkwhattohaveasausername5828 Enough, perhaps. That is not equivalent to good.