Love Addiction & "No Contact": Does it Work?

⭐WHAT ATTACHMENT STYLE ARE YOU?⭐
Take the quiz: bit.ly/4LuvStyl...
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Have you ever felt so fed up with an inconsistent partner that it seemed the only way to cope was to go “no contact?”
As a result, you might find yourself wondering…
“Do I keep trying to make this work, or are my efforts only making the problem worse?”
And really wanting to know....
“Is ‘No contact’ the only way to get my message across, or is it just what I have to do to finally let go and move on?”
Welp. You are not alone in this.
Straight to the point: I think the answer to this question is always context dependent.
Individuals who labor over this question are more often than not anxiously attached individuals (whom I call Open Hearts) that experience intense “attachment hunger,” which is similar to what is commonly referred to as “love addiction” or “codependency.”
This is when you feel a deep and intensive yearning for partnership, and experience low self esteem and self-doubt when not in a relationship.
In my own experience, determining if “no contact” will be of service or disservice to your relationship, requires understanding ‘love addiction’ or ‘codependency’ as fueled by attachment triggers, which are deeply embodied, and lead to the same consequences as ingestive drug use!
If you can relate to this, this 10-minute video is for you.
In this video, I touch upon…
The physiological impact of attachment triggers
What to expect when you go “no contact” and how to sustain your own boundaries, when you feel tempted to violate them
Using the Transtheoretical Model For Change to conceptualize the stages of change when struggling with love addiction/codependency/attachment hunger
Make sure you watch the 10-minute video here, and leave a comment!
⭐Want to learn more? ⭐
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OTHER WAYS TO CONNECT…
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[@averagejane09]

The withdrawl symptoms are brutal. I am in a situation where I started to hang out with a guy as a friend whom I didn't have any sexual chemistry for. Just friends. Over time, he started to like me and I started to consider it. He would hug me and I felt so calmed by that. I started to crush a bit. But, I still was not 100% sure. The friendship was very steady and we never ran out of things to talk about. He is a nice guy who treated me very nice. I do think I love him as a person very much. Two weeks ago, we started to cross into being physical. Two days after that, my feelings of chemistry completely evaporated and I was trying to process but he saw it and got very upset, understandably, and I suggested we go back to being friends. In the moment, that seemed like the best course of action. The very next day, I missed him immensely and I have regretted it. We have texted I apologized and he went through bouts of flirting then anger, then flirting, then anger. Now, we are ok....but he won't speak with me in person. Just in text. I know we can't sort things out in text but I also understand. I don't know what to do because I am feeling tormented with missing him. But, I am afraid to do that to him again. What if I drop off again? I did two different attachment style tests and both times came up as disorganized. However, not all of what is being described in that is matching to what I am experiencing so I am so confused. However, I did sign up for that course with you Briana. I am scared and this sucks. My body won't calm down.

[@larapires5456]

How are u now?

[@Thankful305]

You sound very much aware and that seems like a really good sign; not many are able to do that. Hoping you are in a good space now or have gotten some resolve 💛

[@angelamossucco2190]

Thank you for all the truth. The lack of hyperbole and propaganda and the focus on education only is a blessing.

[@masterjanglez]

This video was highly enlightening. my last long term relationship at the end. Withdrawl symptoms. Couldn't sleep, eat, do anything productive and it was at a very dark time for me. I always wondered why I physically felt horrible and couldn't scratch the itch. The knowledge you give has been invaluable.

[@Unkowm-qw3lf]

I second this

[@samia6888]

how are you now?

[@mram5152]

How long did it take to recover? Any advice?

[@samia6888]

@@mram5152 yes, the best advice I can give is to go truly no contact and sit through the withdrawals (you will get chills, crawl up in your bed, feel the worst you ever felt) and force yourself to go out and do things even if you don’t want to. You will get over them slowly since this is a long process but when you look back when you are over them, you will only remember the good times of you going out with your friends and doing things that make you feel good and will feel nostalgic.

[@sylvanechoes]

I sometimes wonder if the withdrawals feelings are his feelings of missing me as well, because we were bonded and connected. I did not have the resources in place to deal with these withdrawals and I am suffering and feeling so alone. I don't have enough people in my life who are there to comfort me and give me connection in these times and I really struggle to change this and find new connections that are long lasting. Thanks for your help Briana.

[@kittykat.88]

I hope you are ok

[@amorphousexuberance7136]

Oh babe, I'm in the exact same boat. It's hard to even make friends with an anxious attachment style. We're gonna get to a better place one day. You being aware of what you need and being honest with yourself about those needs being valid is a beautiful thing. You're already ahead of so many in terms of that learning curve and growth. Just work on self regulating in those moments. Sending you love.

[@jemiinimusic]

Same

[@jennaguzman7269]

​@daniellem4585? What kind Na?

[@Gazsuncoast73]

Been listening to you for years, I think your amazing thanks so much for all your wisdom & guidance. Gary the open heart 💜

[@IdontspeakBro.]

My action was to get straight back into the dating scene. Hardest thing I had ever done and never done it before. No contact was my go to in my past 2 relationships but the pain and turmoil was hurrendous. I got through it and came out stronger BUT now im not interested in going through that suffering so got straight back into dating 1 week later.at least having company elimated companionship cravings. The chemical withdrawal is not to be taken lightly, everyone remembers that one or times they went through it.

[@Simone-yz6jt]

You are so peaceful and beautiful. Everything you say is spot on. The emotional withdrawal from a relationship can be worse than withdrawals from chemicals. I speak from experience. What I can say…..it does get better. Focus on yourself as much as possible. Healing is a process and takes time. Love yourself more 💜

[@Learn-to-Reconnect]

This was so helpful and interesting... in learning about some of this now, but you make it much more accessible.

[@ivannamorales1274]

I’m in wowed, it all makes so much sense, your explanation really has helped.

[@marimil1469]

I only "fall in love" once in my lifetime. God I hope never fall again. It took me around year and half to break from this addictive state. I was complete mess. No support from anyone. Other shit with life happened at the same time. I really have no idea how I survived this. Now I finally buried the guy (metaphorically) and all of it with him. These disfuncional attachmend wounds are no joke .

[@andrewmcfarlane3274]

Any advice? I can’t control my thoughts and get her out. 2 years.

[@marimil1469]

@@andrewmcfarlane3274 I really don't have advice. For me it was a time heling wounds kinda situation and changing priorities. at first I was soo sad, in state of such disarray, later angry then bitter at myself, at him but mostly at myself. After this bitterness state I just let go . Nobody owns me anything, and the thing is, I am glad now. even if it somehow worked we weren't good for eachother. Long-term we would split eventually couse there were red flags from his side but also mine (which at the time I wasn't aware of) that I choose to ignore. It would never work. Now I am a bit ashamed I let myself get into this kind of limerence state, obsessive and fantasy thinking. I would say It will payoff most if you focus correcting and healing your own wounds and behaviours. Knowing yourself better or finally admitting to yourself who you are with all your flaws and setting some goal to what do you really want. Then you would be able to include someone else into your life with similar goal and passion. (Which is what secure healthy people do, I guess) Or you could enjoy your solitude, embrace it and go from there.

[@samia6888]

@@andrewmcfarlane3274 how are you now?

[@Spicy_Pita]

Very interesting video. I am in a no contact phase with a man I’m interested in. He lives in my building. He’s avoidant, I have a bit of an anxious attachment. I’ve been working with a therapist and I’m involved in some group work as well. What I’m finding beneficial in the “no contact” is it’s helping me discover different parts of myself and understanding my patterns. With contraction, there will be growth and expansion. What I’m trying to grasp is I’m ok with the no contact but how to even transition into a contact friendship again. We didn’t cross any physical boundary, it was all talking and connecting and things were so electrifying when we were hanging out…. It was me saying I’m hurt by his non-communication that set him off into avoiding me. In order for me to move forward with him or if we do connect again, I’ll want to be in a secure place and be able to communicate with an avoidant behavior person. He’s very special to me and I know I have a messy side that I’m healing…. Clarity and alignment of our energies are the key for me. Thank you for your content. This is truly helpful.

[@gturcott1]

She is very smart and very good

[@gturcott1]

Wow very glad I found you! Amazing

[@marguskiis7711]

No contact does not do break up easier. If you break up for reasons (bad begaviour, addictions, cheating, bad relationships) then its better to stay in contact to face all the reasons. If the break up was false and you want her/him back then maybe no contact is good.

[@ruthmubwangolo1302]

Well explained , thank you !

[@HisaLight2mypath]

Absolutely this make sense we need to not put all eggs in one basket sand have other people that we can be connected to so we don't feel like this person is the only hope I just relapced today and reached out to this person . Hopefully this time I will be able to sustain it I will make some new connections

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

TTwithme Thank you for commenting. I’m glad the content has been helpful!

[@Cybertron123456]

The cat in the background couldn’t extricate herself from Briana and she was triggered into her anxious attachment syndrome

[@totf6359]

Right on time! Thank you.

[@fujoshidianxia]

Had my ex break up with me leaving me for another woman he had just met when we were together for almost three years. We were bonded and I did become codependent. I became addicted and could not let go. It was relapse after relapse. A week ago he contacted me and now I'm realizing after a bat shit crazy witness I realized that he was now addicted to his new ex and alcohol. Don't wish ill will to anyone, I hope after officially having this fight I get over this.

[@traceyb8297]

My bf left me for another woman after 2 1/2 years he was with her while we were together he’s a covert narcissist come to find out but I do miss him terribly

[@samia6888]

how are you now?

[@anastasiyamemetova3849]

thank you so much it's a new perspective for me and it's very sincere and helpful

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

@anastasiyamemetova3849 Glad you liked this video! Thank you for commenting.

[@tomclark5866]

I am single so I do not really know why i am whatching it

[@Petrafrida]

This one was super helful, thank you so much.

[@andrewboyddotcom]

My take away... put alternative connections in place.

[@adriana3598]

cant wait 😬

[@CosplayHeroUnite]

I’m honestly immensely in love with my partner and we have been through a lot throughout the time of us being together, but the days I can’t see him (due to work/personal time), but the second day I don’t see him, I honestly become irritable and insecure immediately. I miss him terribly and hope he asks to see me, and when I don’t get that, I become depressed and distressed. It’s hard to healthily have space when I want to be around him all of the time. I yearn him

[@brianamacwilliam.attachment]

Thank you for posting this inquiry. I understand it can be a painful and confusing experience. What you describe it sounds like it may be an “anxious avoidant trap” situation. These videos might offer some insight. When to Leave A Toxic Relationship, According to Your Chakras kzbin.info/www/bejne/bGGXmI2hac58fLM The Anxious-Avoidant Trap or Divine Timing? How Can You Tell? kzbin.info/www/bejne/oXa8e6SFl5V9gNk Avoidant and Anxious Relationship Struggles: How to Spot the Trap kzbin.info/www/bejne/eWqwo2aIlL6emMk [1 of 5] The Anxious Avoidant Trap: A Case of Like Sees Like kzbin.info/www/bejne/r36yoZeAgpiCqpY [2 of 5] 6 Signs of the Anxious-Avoidant Trap kzbin.info/www/bejne/gaiTioCtgMdprtE Am I Anxious, or Are They My SoulMate? kzbin.info/www/bejne/rH_SqYOqhsl0f68

[@johnzabatta350]

You are as beautiful now as the day I met you! If not, more so!

[@covadongadoradomayordomo3047]

Thank you, X

[@edgelordcutting]

Thank you so much.

[@brittianypapke8372]

Talking about connection... I have the experience of , in my opinion, my anxiety hits hard randomly - and come to realize either my SO is thinking of my OR he is in a situation where his stress is high. Not sure which one... Friends tell me "oh butterflies" and I correct them with its not in my tummy its in my chest. Very overwhelming feeling.

[@mtoloui1]

Good job. I didn’t hear a solution though. This is a painful topic. I wish you didn’t talk to your cat while…

[@eshjane]

It works

[@Teach.Experience.Dance-Vicky]

So helpful ! Thankyou 😊