Love Is Blind S3 #40 - (Cole Interview #3) - Therapist Reacts

[@melissasesma3218]

😂😂😂❤ Dr. Honda you are an 11 for us the deserving listeners 🤣

[@kicikicikicikici]

Yess 😅❤❤❤❤

[@marlynsantos9677]

Absolutely! 11.5 at least 😂

[@Simplyunashamed]

🤣

[@andra9601]

I’d say that 90% of the time this rating is fairly accurate. On rare occasions he is an 8, 8.5 or a 9. I’ll survive lol

[@Sgomez-mk9sn]

Here to say I agree ☝️ 😂

[@mandi4794]

I would just never ask for a rating from my husband. I'm secure in our relationship, but I know if he even said 9/10 I would be so hurt. I'm too sensitive and I know that about myself!

[@4ledki]

I don't mind if i was told 9/10 by my guy... I know I'm pretty, and I am pretty confident no one is really 10/10.

[@ohisee9173]

Same. But I know I'm not even a 9 or 10 to the general public. but BUT I also have enough experience to know I can have a partner make me FEEL like a 10 and I don't really need more attention than I already get. So all around, I think I'm pretty secure. I've done the work within myself, I've learned to bid in a healthy way, I happily take compliments and filter out negativity. I want that for everyone

[@violett874]

Yeah I don't think ratings are useful at all because if you're insecure about your looks, no number is going to make you feel better; you'll either question a high rating or feel hurt from a low rating. If you're secure you won't care.

[@WilliamsPinch]

Every woman knows this lol. You have to be crazy to push your partner to do this.

[@Evie534]

Same I would not ask something that I couldn’t accept an honest answer to. Sometimes I ask my partner if he can see that I’ve gained weight. If he said yes I would be upset at myself that I gained weight, but not at him

[@digitalentertainment7584]

When first dating my now husband, he asked me to rate him on a scale. I told him I was sorry but I wouldn't do that. That I thought a scale is silly and doesn't make sense. I reassured him that I was really attracted to him and that it's about the full picture (including his personality and soul). The first time I realized that I really liked him was not based off his looks but from something he had said.

[@julissahernandez8402]

“I don’t know why I care so much about this” you and me both dr. Honda

[@albaperez2498]

She spontaneously had 12 bullet points 😂

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

He's finally getting tough on her

[@kimeowsky]

"rate me" gives me HEAVY middle schooler behavior vibes lol

[@carabara84]

The older I get (nearing 40), and the longer I’ve been with my spouse (17 yrs), the more I realize any scale of physical attractiveness is arbitrary. Something that in my immaturity was so extremely important has become so silly to a certain extent. Kindness is the most attractive quality in anyone.

[@eh1126]

9:08 this is so true. When I was single and doing the dating apps, I realized that it’s very easy to fall into the trap of going for the photogenic person who looks great in pictures. I had to take a step back and realize that in the past when I would meet guys in person that I would grow attracted to, they weren’t someone that I would’ve matched with on an app. Attraction is way more than just how good looking someone is.

[@Bethany218]

Does anyone remember that Cole said something like “I want to kiss you right now” at the altar and she said “you can’t” and he said with resignation something like “I can’t”. You only kiss at the altar if you say yes and since they’d both agreed it was a no, that conversation validates Cole’s story. Both no but still very much in a relationship.

[@safalafagins]

Omg great point

[@AprilT72]

I wonder who chose the pictures to add in after the rating of Dr Honda and Stacey.... hilarious!!!

[@c.m.j.454]

Cole’s compulsive truth blabbing could be a producers worst nightmare. (outing how they tee’d him up on certain subjects, how they decided prior to the alter what their choice would be etc). But instead it seems to have worked out in their benefit. We’re all still here talking about it, after all. I would hope reality show creators would take note and realize relationships are dramatic and messy enough on their own, without the manufactured storylines and prompts. Just show us the reality of it all unfold! Just like Dr. Honda says, here.

[@Istandinthesun943]

Hopefully Cole doesn’t get into any legal trouble. He seemed emotionally charged at the end and maybe not thinking about the contract

[@ogga]

The way your describing being ok with your wife doesn’t think you’re an 11 is relevant only if you’re a man. Women are treated by society like all that matters about us is how we look and the attractiveness of a man’s wife or girlfriend is often equated with the man’s success. Think about the pressure that puts on women to be attractive and to be with someone who is satisfied with how you look.

[@dawnlower7364]

I was going to say this same thing.

[@Istandinthesun943]

This is a really good point! Gender and race (they’re in Texas come on) have a huge role in all of this. Of course Zenab saying Cole isn’t her type won’t affect him the same way it would her. I’m sure she’s been compared to Colleens her whole life.

[@fattinamia]

This

[@muchograndeyolatengo]

You don't have to lie, but you have to tread carefully and be sensitive to where it's all coming from. I had a girlfriend who frequently asked me loaded questions about the superficial appearance of other women and I was young immature and tried to answer as truthfully as I could, which resulted in a couple of big fights. When I think back, I'm embarrassed about how I handled things. I have my own insecurities and I could've handles hers a lot better.

[@Aixza]

I LOVE THE “AHA” MOMENT! I’m a pragmatist, so the one I believe is Cole. He’s been brutally honest to a fault. In fact, I believe developing a filter would better serve him in his future relationships. I also believe that the show should provide the participants with therapy after the show.

[@BrittanySimon]

I loved every moment of your reviews!! I appreciate how you humanized them but also allowed for there to be a clear "truth' to be considered.

[@SparklySara16]

He always talks so sweetly about his wife aww

[@elliottvic]

Your wife is beautiful and yes, you’re our 11 Dr Honda!!! ❤❤❤🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

[@Musemachina]

Every point in this video was so beautifully articulated and validating, thank you for sharing your wisdom!

[@michellekim940]

You continue to be my favorite. My feed on all my YT accts is just Dr. Honda. So down to earth & I learn so much about myself & relationships. Plus he commentates my fave shows!

[@EmpressEllie]

The 1-10 scale definitely doesn’t work without more context. I’m one of those people who when I’m in love, that person is my 10! But I can see that other people may be a 10… I am not attracted to them as a 10… does that make sense? I don’t really find I’m majorly attracted to other people when I’m in love. Which is why I was single for a few years before meeting my partner… I was still in love with “the one that got away”. Lol

[@rainbowdragon9497]

Cole said the producers were asking everyone because of the love is blind concept, like now rate each other since you can see each other.

[@samirasingh3193]

Omg that’s the first time I’ve seen Your wife 😮, I love hearing about her and how you talk about your relationship but she is also truly beautiful. 🥰🥰🥰 I also hate this rating system for humans I’m so glad you are discussing this

[@jetblack6381]

He could have said - we’re literally here to try and understand that aesthetic preference might not be the best guide of match, so I’m really trying not to think about people in those ways, so lets maybe rate compatibility, connection, understanding, fun, common goals, chemistry…

[@LeandroVelez7]

If someone ask you to rate girls, you don’t. Simple as that. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[@Youokhun]

Not just girls but anyone! If it’s a high number someone will think you’re lying or if it’s a low number they’ll be hurt. Can’t win no matter who they are, what gender or what the rating is for

[@MrsKoala-wd7ct]

This is the answer. Don’t lie. Just don’t rate. Refuse! Smort!

[@mariemoncada6980]

The 1-10 scale needs an update. Looking at a "10" without context and feelings is like looking at a pretty painting. It looks great, but I feel nothing.

[@CaulkMongler]

Exactly, it’s essentially comparing apples to oranges. I can be in love with someone who’s probably a 5 to most people but I tend to like people with unique features, people who a lot of ppl would think aren’t attractive, and they’re a 10 to me. But how well would that fly? “You’re probably a realistic 5, but a def 10 to me”? Zanab would have blown a gasket 😂

[@reneerevolinski4822]

I believe Cole. 💯

[@smartmarketing173]

Cole has that goofy Golden Retriever energy like I’m just out here enjoying life doop dee dooo! I highly doubt he has it in him to lie this much and concoct a big storyline. Zenab, OTOH, is a v different story…

[@pearlosibu]

If he’d refused to rate her, I think I know Zanab enough to know that even that would have been a problem.

[@drummerxkun]

I'm in a secure long term relationship, its been over 6 years. but at the beginning of our relationship, i asked my partner to rate my looks (i was young and dumb and we were just shooting the shit), and they said 6/10. It must not have meant anything bad or significant to them and i never said anything or acted any different after that, but i think that must've really hurt me anyways because it's 6/7 years on and i still think about it once in a while

[@unefillesrb]

Why not bring it up? Not like "why did you rate me a 6?" but exactly how you phrased it here: you were young and naive but somehow it still has some power as it keeps popping up in your brain. Just so your partner knows it, sees your vulnerability and can give you a heartfelt smile, hug and kiss to lessen it's effect :)

[@darter81]

If you ask someone to rate you and they go into a spiel about “well what do you mean, attractiveness takes many forms,” it’s pretty easy to read between the lines and know the answer to your question is =/= 10.

[@a1ntcry1noveru]

Lmaoo right

[@jclyntoledo]

Yeah I would assume they didn't find me sexually or aesthetically attractive 😂😂.

[@sophielorber4571]

I mean it is true. Someone pretty is not automatically attractive

[@penguinworm]

I do agree with the "just say your partner is a 10" if they ask. You can try to address the underlying flaws with that way of thinking in a different conversation. They will likely only hear "They think I'm not beautiful/handsome" if they say something other than 10.

[@lunal9870]

I hate all this rating talk. I find it shallow and most of the time it only hurts people. Someone will either love you or not, plus people changes all the time, it has too short of an expiration date anyways.

[@mish4m00n]

THIS.

[@ooanari]

We all care a lot about this one, Dr. Honda

[@mish4m00n]

DON'T 👏 ASK 👏 QUESTIONS 👏 WHEN 👏 YOU 👏 KNOW 👏 YOU 👏 WON'T 👏 TOLERATE 👏 THE 👏 ANSWER 👏

[@Billiedakid]

I’m was thinking the whole video: her story doesn’t make sense, he does

[@laurak6127]

LOL the mushroom pic

[@JaceySpacey]

I can't see any way for him to "win" in this rate-me situation bc the actual issue is bigger and not being addressed (aka her insecurity with where she stood in his mind, etc). Like, if he had lied even just a tad we'd be sitting here talking about whether he was gaslighting her etc. It's a shame he wasn't able to navigate her needs in the moment and that she wasn't able to communicate how she was **actually** feeling. I hate that we're all so socialized to search for a "bad guy" or for fault when it's almost always just a case of valid but conflicting needs and a break down of **actual, constructive** communication between both parties.

[@CaulkMongler]

Exactly, we’re more socialized to berate the perceived “bad guy” and coddle the “insecure girl”, she never has to learn how to self comfort.

[@Diana5513]

If he lied a tad about her attractiveness by 1 point, gave her a 10/10, and any of the comments were about how he was gaslighting her because of it, there would be a different problem lol. That is not gaslighting.

[@Stormy575]

Exactly, a rating like that is such a narrow view of attraction. There is so much more to a person, to chemistry, to relationships. Reducing it to a number is pretty ridiculous.

[@darter81]

Been waiting for you to get to this part for eleventy billion years 🎉

[@Wc7823]

Wasn’t this such a satisfying video?! 🍿🍿🍿

[@kaybmagic12]

@@Wc7823 yup

[@bubs8beans]

such a serve on Cole’s end, i’m glad he was so honest in this interview about the producers and the dinner he had with Zenab the night before the wedding

[@whtyc]

Absolutely agree that Cole’s version of events just sounds more realistic and plausible. Overall I think he’s not only more credible than Zae, but he’s very candid about the whole process. I wish all reality participants would/could talk plainly and openly like this

[@edinscot56789]

Yes, Dr Kirk, attraction matters! What else do you have to go on when you see someone for the first time? If you don't like the look of someone, you're not going to want to talk to them. You've got to start somewhere.

[@cristidormiendo5743]

“As she’s saying ‘no’’ she spontaneously had 12 bullet points at the ready…” hmm.

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

If they knew that they were both a 'no' then Zanab's whole 'i can't believe his family didn't come' is stupid... Of course they're not going to travel just to watch you reject their child..

[@lauraroughley890]

I've never understood rating someone's looks, to me ( it could be my age) that's based on lust. I believe in love genuinely being blind my husband and I couldn't be more different but compliment each other, 24 years together I find more to love about him each year

[@kaybmagic12]

Finally an episode where he doesn’t call Cole a possible jerk face 🙏🏽

[@maarleyjedermann3174]

Oh my god, yes! So satisfying to finally see him validate Cole's side for a bit.

[@destinykendall7999]

@@maarleyjedermann3174 he validates Cole's side a lot

[@maarleyjedermann3174]

@@destinykendall7999 No, no he really doesn't. At least not before these interviews.

[@tb89117]

I’m so glad Dr. Honda came to pretty much the same conclusion I did! Which story is more believable, Cole’s or Zanab’s? Gee I wonder 🤔

[@Jim2point0]

Have you looked into the prior scandals with BetterHelp? I worry about some of the allegations around them :(

[@mojo782]

Well that was illuminating! I get way different vibes from Zae and Cole's interviews. It has no basis in anything but to me Cole speaks plainly about events but Zae sounds so manufactured. Like she has a point to make and will do anything to make that point as opposed to just answering questions. And like Doc said whose story sounds more plausible. Between all that my gut is saying Cole side is closer to the truth

[@Evie534]

I can’t believe the interviewer is blatantly telling Cole to lie. Strongly disagree with this

[@steffany3513]

Super conspiracy, she knew Cole was going to say no. she told producers she would say yes so she could be assured to have time for her 12 bullet points.

[@CaulkMongler]

He’s said in other podcasts/interviews that they mutually agreed to say no at the altar but continue to date and continue building trust.

[@mandi4794]

Dr. Kirk I'm sure Stacy thinks you're a 12!

[@Jasjor]

If I asked my husband to rate me and he asked me “Well ..thats a complicated question” like what 😂😂😂

[@angiehughes6583]

I would not have answered. I would have said “I don’t rate people.”

[@mariemoncada6980]

Colleen asked him how you spell, "Cole." I think it was over from there 🤔

[@dazedconfuseds]

He ask her first, I think...she asked him after to make a joke. She said so it's not coal as on Santa. Colleen has more smarts than the producers made her look... even when the men ask her job, she said ballet it's a lot. What was alot? It was clear they cut out her words. Matt filled it in the reunion. Legal secretaries have to be trustworthy and professionals.

[@acd1168]

🫢🙈

[@mariemoncada6980]

@@dazedconfuseds I doubt it was a joke, she seemed like she thought COAL was a viable alternative spelling.

[@Sough]

I've never met a Cole before

[@dawnlower7364]

Sometimes it’s spelled with a K so I’m not sure why that’s strange.

[@icameisaws4829]

I wouldn't say he's going against the contract. I believe someone on a previous season said that that's how they wanted their relationship to be as well, and it was discussed before the wedding. I have to go back and watch it to recall exactly what was said.

[@T_Skye]

The more likely scenario: Once Cole told Zanab he was a "No", Zanab didn't want to be embarrassed, so she demanded the producers let her go first. That way, she could paint Cole as the "bad guy", reject him, and look like a "strong powerful female figure."

[@nnn9122]

Cast members can make demands?

[@mojo782]

This is definitely a possibility. I don't like to go there but the way she roasted him at the reunion while simultaneously trying to be a martyr talking about how she wouldn't change a thing and she could have had more grace. That made my Spidey sense tingle that she could just be seeking attention by being good tv. A more successful Andrew if you will, lol. Reality TV can attract those types.

[@jolieluc]

Love watching these videos Doc! Would love a little (actually a lot lol) less conspiracy theories and more dissection of the content of the show/interviews. We know it's a reality show format set up as an "experiment" that ends at the altar. Hoping we can get deeper dives beyond that moot point. Really enjoyed the bit in this video about the rating of partners and how it's relative and we shouldn't lie about it. Keep that coming!

[@Sgomez-mk9sn]

Here to say that your wife is drop dead gorgeous and you guys just seem like the cutest couple ❤

[@dct90210]

I feel like it's inappropriate to ask someone you're serious about to rate you. Everyone's scale looks different and some people are a 5 in looks but their personality makes them a 10.

[@gianedamas]

I think that Zanab asking him to rate her is already a sign of the insecurity that she feels about her body and image, and maybe, her relationship as well. You don't ask something like that, because it is not effective. Whatever the answer is, the insecurity will twist it in some way to confirm her own mental idea that she is not enough. She should blast him at that time for the hurt he caused (about saying that Colleen was his type) and then, focus on her relationship.

[@CarminaAmza]

watch The Bey's TV interview with Cole, much more revelatory. I think you are going too hard on Cole, Dr. Honda, while giving Zanab the benefit of the doubt most of the time

[@mariemoncada6980]

Respectfully disagree, he's stated the ways in which both parties were potentially nonfunctional and hurtful

[@juliagulia9224]

I agree - too hard on Cole

[@bigwhy6845]

He's a couple therapist. His job isn't to pick a side, it's to analyze how both partners feed into the problem between them and how to solve it.

[@poponachtschnecke]

@@juliagulia9224 😂 nice username, I liked that movie too

[@CarminaAmza]

@@bigwhy6845 my point exactly

[@Ola_Stawinska]

The whole idea of rating people with numbers is just idiotic.

[@bitmma5432]

In the "Off the Vine podcast with Kaitlyn Bristowe" Zanab confirms what Cole said about them both deciding to say "no" 2 days before the wedding. She says something to the effect that because he said it it must be OK for her to say now. So I'm assuming she wasn't admitting that she was a "no" before out of fear of violating the Love is Blind contract.

[@Sough]

Strange though that she didn't avoid the question, she built elaborate lies about changing her mind at the last moment: seeing him be nervous, not seeing his parents, completing 2 speech plans because she could be yes or no, that the alleged phone number the night before changed he mind--truly bizarre stuff but i guess that's par for the course with Zenab

[@jclyntoledo]

I need to see this interview then bc it goes against what Zanab said in every other interview. I'm surprised she would even admit that now.

[@joygilman1110]

The minute you ask if someone wants to get into it or say it's complicated, they are going to interpret that as you not finding them as attractive as they want you to. Best to just tell them that you find them beautiful, sexy, etc, which is probably what they need from you in that moment. Ratings are childish BS, and that's my answer. Interesting experience this week. I'm being treated for neuropathy. I've also had trouble with weight gain--combo of Covid, pain, and medications--going from a size 4/6 to a 14. My neurologist, generally trying to help but having trouble people skills, actually said to me, "I don't know anyone with a BMI over 30 who is happy." Then she tried to fix it by adding "happy with their body" and then "happy to stay there." 🙄 Made me feel GREAT. 🥴

[@mooncarrotarts261]

“I’m in love with you - head to toe, inside and outside - and to reduce that to a number doesn’t do how I feel about you justice” is how I would answer it lol

[@Billiedakid]

My husband is very very very atractive, but of course if I compare to a movie star or something, I’ll probably rate him a 9, but I think physically I’m a 7 but in totally ok if he or someone else rate me as a 7 or lower since I love myself and I consider me to be a 15 😂 and I’m ok with other’s opinion. But I would never ask someone to be rated is dumb.

[@MarcelaRS6]

This is not important at all, but you are far from a 7!

[@Billiedakid]

@@MarcelaRS6 I agree is not important at all, I always say that if you put your value in your looks, you will always be hungry for compliments, and looks would fade away, but if you set your mind on your values as a human being, no one can make you feel less. I appreciate your kindness 💕thank you .

[@Lynsey17]

I find the amount of discussion about looks this season was funny/confusing bc I legit kept getting Zainab, Nancy, and Colleen confused. And Alexis I mostly kept straight bc I found she had a more distinct voice and was noticeably taller.

[@LunaC_literaturecoach]

what baffles me in the whole rating conversation is that a key element (and premise of the show) is that chasing 10s never ended up well for any of the contestants. Sure, Cole would have normally gone for someone like Colleen... and how did that work out, in the past?! That would be my go-to answer: "he's a 10, but that goes to show that I was always basing my attraction on the wrong factors. What we have is a much deeper and more important connection"

[@amandajo340]

Actually iirc Jessica from season 1 said they don't know who will be asked first at the alter (producers don't tell them). She said that her and Mark both said they'd say no at the alter, but then they asked Mark first on the wedding day and he said yes. Kind of trying to make Jessica the bad guy because he already knew she would say no anyways. So it doesn't seem against contract to disclose that they talked about their answers before hand. Unless any of that has changed since season 1 I'd guess Cole had no idea which of them would be asked first at the alter and he's not breaking contract by telling us they were ready to keep dating after the show. It does contradict Zae's story though a little bit. If they talked about dating after then she knew her answer before the wedding day. But I'm guessing they're pressured to get to the wedding day, so I guess she might feel she needs to keep it a secret or worries she's not allowed to say.

[@antoniaalcala9064]

When the interviewer advised Cole to lie in response to rating a partner, she also meant to spare his partner's feelings. Culturally men are taught to only consider attraction based off of the physical. This is how ratings is usually understood in the US by males. The fact that girl asked her partner do to this feels gross,but the validation seeking is so common.

[@irenalovesart4064]

Attractiveness very related to confidence.

[@angelkaterose]

If person A rates the physical attractiveness of person B as being higher than person C, this does not guarantee that person A is more attracted to person B thn person C. It is possible that they are more attracted to person C based on a combination of factors that includes how they feel about person C's personality and their interractions with them.

[@ClintSevilla]

12 bullet points! 😂

[@QurVgn]

Well, Everyone can randomly make a perfect speech about 12 points. It’s the 13th point that’s really challenging and questionable! 😉😉😉

[@andianderson3017]

I would never ask my husband to rate me. Ever. I’ve been comfortable for a long time that I am average to below average objectively. He thinks I’m beautiful. He is attracted to me for many reasons beyond looks. I don’t really want to know how he’d rate me objectively because it doesn’t matter and I don’t have to be a super model. I’m not one. I can’t live up to it on any level so a lie would hurt more than the truth and I just don’t need to have the truth put into a number. I just can’t imagine asking. He chooses me before anyone else and will continue to do so as I will him. It was a messed up question.

[@CaulkMongler]

Exactly, I think the rating system comes down mainly to looks but we as people really should be focusing on the things that attract us to people. People can look like supermodels but if they have a rotten personality or can’t have a nuanced thought I’ll never be able to date them.

[@onedirectionlover317]

Idk, as long as my partner looks and acts genuinely happy to be around me and with me and doesn’t look or act like he’d rather be with someone else, that’s what matters, and that’s sufficient for me in feeling attractive enough. If you want your partner to lie to you, what’s the point of the question? I don’t think Cole could’ve won with this one.

[@darter81]

I’m trying to imagine what you’d have to be like in order to say “rate me vs. her” out loud. Maybe I’m just not high enough on the scale, but I know for a fact that the vast majority of Instagram people (for lack of a better term) are far more attractive than I am. Maybe if I were one of the Instagram people myself I’d be more interested in getting validation? And why do I think just coming out and saying “do you think she’s prettier than me” is a better question than the rating scale? I guess that might make it more obvious that it’s a fishing thing?

[@rchlhcr]

I feel like it's possible Zanab continued to say she was unsure because she thought that would allow her to go first on the altar and give her whole speech, which had to have been planned to some degree.

[@AlwaysAnna77]

Yeah, I agree. I didn't like that she told him you're just supposed to lie 🤮 I surely do not want that for myself and my relationships. I did see a lot of comments on the interview video going against that idea which makes me glad because I do hope that most people would see the harm in lying

[@mariemoncada6980]

Interesting. I think the lie is necessary it would hurt so much.

[@AlwaysAnna77]

@@mariemoncada6980 I guess it depends on the person. I definitely think there are ways to say things that are more hurtful than others but I just don't agree with lying at all. I would not be hurt if my husband doesn't think I'm a 10/10. I definitely consider many other women more physically attractive than me and that doesn't mean I'm worth less. I know that my husband finds me attractive and values the relationship we have and the fact that there are other women that are better looking than me doesn't take away from that.

[@mariemoncada6980]

@@AlwaysAnna77 yes I could see that too...I'm just not there. I guess underneath it all you'd have to 1. Believe it's not THAT important to be physically attractive and 2. Believe that you're partner still wants to be with you even thought he's physically more attracted to others. Which....power to anyone that 💪 strong

[@rubiirae]

@@mariemoncada6980 It's only necessary if you're so emotionally insecure and fragile that you value appearance over anything else. In that case, why are you even in a relationship when you can't be honest with each other and keeping things superficial? We already do that at work with our bosses and coworkers

[@Evie534]

@@AlwaysAnna77Personally, I would not want my partner to like even if it’s to spare my feelings. I also would never ask this question to my partner though

[@amandastafford8124]

I wonder if the producers manipulated Zay to misconstrue things that cole was doing or saying, especially if they knew about any previous sensitivities about food or body or certain issues she’s had in past relationships, I wonder if they fed into things and made it bigger in her head. Maybe even encouraged her to make hat speech..

[@skywriting33]

Where do you credit the interview you are using? I’d like to watch the original and cannot find it anywhere in your post. Not good.

[@angelkaterose]

How about we boycott reality shows until they agree to enter a contract that binds them to show the real storylines instead of manufacturing them?

[@mojo782]

"reality" is a misleading moniker. They should call it unscripted tv. Never once has reality TV not been manufactured. It's a business, they need guaranteed eyeballs which leads to money. If a camera just followed me all day without editing it would be terribly boring. And just being filmed can alter how people act. Got to enjoy it for what it is... or not

[@ClintSevilla]

Dr. Honda you are a 12. Definitely!

[@user-yv9eu4so9p]

Why would that be going off contract? He didn’t say anything other than he was going to say no??

[@shiningarmor8709]

This was the question of where he should have seen the insecurities red flag,was the question after the good vs great debate, because if it was after then he should have known better than to engage the discussion.

[@zararashid5827]

I think when someone asks you to rate them I think they're referring to how attracted their partner is to them physically, I don't think they're talking about general attractiveness.Which is why I think it would hurt to be rated anything less than a 10....at least that's why the way I interperate it anyway.

[@meganbrady9782]

I have had a conversation with every partner I've been with after college that I recognize there are other attractive women in the world but I do not want to hear your thoughts about them because frankly, in my experience, many men will offhandedly say very hurtful things along these lines because they are naive to how these comments affect their partners. I also give them the same courtesy. It has saved me a lot of unnecessary insecurity in my relationships

[@WhoWhatWhereNow]

Dr. Honda, I love that you consider your wife an 11. But I keep hearing you speak like she is out of your league. Respectfully, as a civilian, my subjective opinion is that you guys are the same attractiveness and in the same league. In a good way. Have a great day. ❤

[@Sweetieee]

You’re forgetting the part where he said he cheated on her the day before the proposal why is this a pity party for him because he wasn’t expecting it? He should have if he cheated.

[@Jokicmoki]

Do the analysis on Megan and Harry documentary! :D

[@QurVgn]

Noooooo! 🫣😂I’m a British expat living in the Bay Area and was/am? Such a Harry and Meghan fan - cheered on all of the decisions I knew about - but this show was imo surprisingly….I don’t know, arrogant? The music was bizarre, and it felt like they were trying to still say they’re ‘normal’ - but by the end I felt actually further apart from them. I still want them to have as much freedom and support though. 💕 And I want to live in their decidedly not normal house. 😂

[@katiag.j.2027]

I think Dr. Honda's commentary is overly focused on trying to find the "truth" of what happened here. Given Zanab's demonstrated projection and given that we've almost certainly established that cast members are contract-bound to be vague about certain facts, it seems pretty clear that a lot of what we see on screen is not portrayed accurately. We can see from many of their exchanges that these two were not compatible. What real difference does it make what day they decided? This drawn-out fixation on pulling out the truth from reality tv cast interviews feels indulgent and meandering. I suspect Dr. Honda is responding to viewer requests and/or seeking to draw out the interest of this series.

[@MeltyChestnut]

YOU ARE BOTH 12!!!!!

[@sarahyarmuth267]

Something I laught about internally sometimes is that when I was younger, I had a very superficial understanding of relationships, and I’d swear I would never marry a man with back hair and that he needed to be 6ft + 😂 I ended up falling in love with a very hairy man whose 5’10 and I couldn’t imagine anything else. It’s crazy to think ideas society puts in our minds 🤪

[@sadiemarsh5623]

Dr Kirk, you are 100% an 11

[@mariajenkins943]

Rating people's looks is an ick for me 😬

[@Ecf6336]

Have a guy friend who, at a karaoke night with a few other friends, sang a song and came back to table asking how well he sang on scale of 1-10. I was like, oh no. Absolutely not going to answer that question. There is no good or objective answer and even if we as humans were capable of a completely unbiased answer to it, voicing it is inevitably going to lead to someone feeling either hurt because it's lower than they expect, or higher than they think they deserve. Meaning I'm inflicting emotional harm and possibly trauma if it's a touchy thing for them, or they think I'm lying to them and trust me less in other things I say in the future, even if they're minor things. Unless that person is self confident to the extreme in which case I don't have a strong desire to enable their ego😅 Absolutely refuse to provide a numeric scale to subjective things that can leave lingering traumas with people and cause unnecessary drama in the process

[@kicikicikicikici]

Artificial intelligence rated me as 6,5. Should I be upset? 😂

[@hayleyb467]

... unless you want to date A.I. I wouldn't give it much merit 🤩

[@CaulkMongler]

6.5 is a PASSING GRADE. Being on the upper 35% of things isn’t anything to sneeze at!

[@dandychestnut3493]

Why would anyone ask that/ offer that information. My partner isn’t a 10 and I sure as hell isn’t 😂 we laugh about it. He’s at the top of my list for his personality and kindness. I have no idea what he likes about me, I’m a right “grumpy old goat” apparently 😂

[@kathleentheg]

Your wife is an 11. Lol but I agree, my bf is not a 10. But i love him for his personality, the way he makes me feel, his sensitive side, etc.

[@kaylastarr7863]

I think its possible she found out from the producers he was gonna say no, and was incredibly hurt by the future rejection and unloaded.

[@LAFA_babe]

It was a mutual agreement according to him. So she had to have known. He said they agreed to date after.

[@stacy6946]

Totally speculating here but based off of how things have played out on air, she may have seemed ok when they talked about it at dinner that they were not ready to get married. But internally was fuming and distorting and knew she would rip him a new one at the altar to have that major moment-especially since she had been describing him as a psychotic monster to her friends anyway 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Ola_Stawinska]

@@stacy6946 she was saying one thing and acting the other throughout the relationship, so that wouldn't be surprising.

[@lavinder11]

She confirmed that they had the "no" talk two days or so before the wedding.

[@zv7588]

12 bullet points 🤣🤭

[@lavinder11]

This is the main part of the interview I disliked. "You always lie." Uh, no. How about don't fish for compliments.