Love Is Blind S3 #57 - (Nancy Interview #1) - Therapist Reacts

[@AndreaRodriguez-cu7yn]

Can I just say I love how he’s still doing love is blind season 3 content! Thank you!! I’ve been dying to talk to people about it but no one in my life watches it. So to hear other opinions or opinions in general is aaaawesome! 🤩🙌🏼

[@KatelynDawn]

Agreed!! Thank you Dr Honda, making my bedridden Covid bout much more entertaining

[@bethannboldt281]

Agreed!!

[@smartmarketing173]

Saaaame! Maybe we need a club lol

[@Stormy575]

What Dr. Kirk said about filling in the gaps reminds me of a conversation on the honeymoon, when Cole shared with the other men that he had noticed Zanab displaying a negative attitude. The other men said, "You didn't pick up on that?", implying that they had seen it themselves back in the pods. And Cole's answer was that yeah, he had heard her be snarky in the pods but he "always imagined her smiling" when she was talking that way. And btw, I think Shayna and Kyle were an example of the woman not being attracted to her partner in person. It may have happened less often for the women overall, but either way I think they were just more kind and diplomatic about it.

[@msmeez]

re: the directionality of "finding people unattractive", I think many women are socialized to care about other attributes in a partner, whereas (unfortunately) one of the things we are most valued for (especially at the onset of a relationship) is our looks. When I was dating, my girl friends would always ask me about how the guy was on the date (was he polite? funny? kind?), and wayyy down the list would ask if he was cute/hot. Compare that to conversations I've heard with my guy friends, where the almost the number one question was "how hot is she?" Not saying that looks don't matter to women, or that this is true for everyone; I've definitely known some women who prioritize how their partners look! But I feel like for myself and my friends, we were pretty willing to overlook "hotness" when dating if it meant ending up with an emotionally stable and kind partner. I think that some of this may stem from the traditionalist mindset of the man being a "provider," which places the emphasis on other attributes. Curious what others think

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

👆 THIS 👆

[@zoeselenastuart7936]

This makes me think about the way misogyny can harm men in the discussion of hetero relationships. So in your example above a man meets up with another group of men and the first thing asked is how hot is she, so what is implied is that she needs to be very hot. Why is this? One answer could be that a hot women earns the man a high status within the group of other men. He can earn points with them, perhaps escape their disapproval. It’s not that the man doesn’t care about the kindness or politeness or sense of humour of their partner. Of course they do - they are humans with feelings like all of us. But they know that the social code dictates that “hotness” will earn them high status within a group of men. This is the agreement. Higher status = safety from exclusion, bullying . With high status maybe he can escape violence from other men. There are many other ways mens behaviour is policed eg boys don’t cry…to everyone’s detriment.

[@violett874]

Honestly this might be something that might be nature judging by how gay/lesbian relationships maintain those preferences.

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

@@violett874 gay and lesbian people are still socialized as male and female... The ingrained expectations don't just magically vanish when you figure out your attraction isn't 'conventional'

[@amandajo340]

Yay! I'm so glad you got to hear this side of the story! There's actually an interview where Nancy explains there's no rules on when you can say no or tell your answer. But maybe there is a lot of pressure as you said. My theory is Bartise wanted a second chance to stay on the show longer. Love the content as always 🙂

[@jessiesansone7641]

I find it interesting, to your point about cultish behavior, that they limit the food the cast members can have. I’ve heard that in a recent interview, Danielle discussed how they limited access to food and pushed alcohol. That combination is obviously meant to foster inflammatory or quick tempered reactions for sure. Not exactly culty, but they’re definitely manufacturing an environment conducive to the kind of entertainment they’re hoping for. Kind of gives some explanation for situations on the show, like with Jessica, then again with Shayne. The NDAs here must be ironclad because they all seem to either be really into the experiment, or nervous about the ramifications of speaking truth about the show. I suppose we’ll see in another few years when the first season’s NDAs are up

[@oksanaml9279]

That's interesting about the food. I'm watching a Korean reality show called Singles' Inferno, and as long as they're on the island they don't get meat or much protein at all, but if they have a mutual match up they're rewarded with a meal that includes meat.

[@jessiesansone7641]

@@oksanaml9279 as a lifelong vegetarian, this concept is wild haha. I imagine it’s similar to a survivalist show but with a romantic twist. The parallels are otherwise pretty uncanny!

[@oksanaml9279]

@@jessiesansone7641 there are definitely Survivorish aspects to it. Athletic prowess is rewarded too.

[@Freee479]

Hi Dr Kirk, I just wanna say i learn a lot from you everyday it’s almost like free therapy😊 thank you for all you do!

[@biaibarrett]

There's money involved if they do want to leave the show, so I figure that plays a bit part of it. I'd love to see you comment on Love is Blind Brasil season 2! There's a guy that backed out as soon as he saw his fiancee for the first time, clearly because he was immediately not physically attracted.

[@Ola_Stawinska]

I know that you already have a long list, but if you would add Love is Blind Brasil, that would be amazing! They have some interesting situations there.

[@ckwanita907]

Yes! My vision of a radio host or a podcaster is always so different from what they really look like. I imagine a completely cartoonish person based on the voice.

[@hakbug]

Zanab was dealing with her own crisis, not the best person to seek advice from. They needed therapists in this show

[@millievanillie90]

I liked how different love is blind Japan was from the US version. Most people on the Japan show ended the relationship before the wedding. Also I bet part of the indoctrination is them telling cast members that getting into the real world and getting cold feet is part of the experiment, in addition to the benefits of going to the altar. I really appreciate the take that it's weird after the pods but people are simplifying it as not feeling attracted. I can see attraction as part of it, but it always seemed to me that the guys feel pod kinship with their partner that makes them unfiltered about sharing.

[@MsBeeFashGal]

Yes, I found the Japan LIB cast to be more mature in their reactions and decisions. The minute they knew or felt it wouldn't worries they respectfully ended it. I had a lot of respect for them. Even the older guy that ended his engagement the day of the wedding didn't wait to get to the alter to say no. The only 2 couples that made it to the alter said yes.

[@suertukel524]

You would love Ultimatom-France!

[@paintedpawstudioPetportraitart]

I hadn’t thought of that- but it makes soooo much more sense of things

[@abigailhendrick9910]

Love the LOTR and your commentary!

[@keiyoshiki]

Bartisse was part of the cast of PERFECT MATCH (same production); so I think he was a great player for the show 18:41

[@stellannie86]

The cast gets paid by week, so i'm thinking that's working as a carrot to prolong the whole thing.

[@Stormy575]

I agree, I said in another thread that I believe there's some kind of carrot driving the contestants to keep going. Because it feels like they're motivated to get to the altar and to make things work beyond what seems rational. Even if they were penalized for not going all the way, it doesn't explain this almost unnatural desire to keep going and work things out.

[@andra9601]

Wow I did not know that. It makes more of my dots connect.

[@pameladenisserodriguez]

Exactly what happened to me with my now husband, when I meat him I was into him but not that much, when we had our first kiss I was like THEM THIS IS THE ONE! Without the kiss I was not there yet ❤

[@pauletteorhii8200]

Would love for you to review the harry and meghan documentary!

[@airolg23]

I appreciated the LOTR side bar!

[@Ummulata]

The LOTR tangent was pretty adorable lol

[@getreadywithnylma]

Dr!! Thanks for your content!! Im watching love is blind brasil and I saw the first rejection after seen the person for the first time omg!! I want your opinion on that

[@lovetwins89]

All of this can be summed up quickly: he’s just not that into you.

[@JulietTheGirl]

Nancy looks unrecognizable here! Wow

[@GenXIcon]

I loved the Hobbit cartoon as an 80s kid haha, and had a comic book version too. I may still have it. I do have a friend however that will only watch film adaptations of anything once people have said it's SO different the filmmakers ruined it. Then he feels free to watch it knowing it's NOT his vision, which is a funny little philosophy. I myself am not tied to what's in my mind. I can partake of book/film/endings I don't like/etc existing as separate things, and I'm okay with it. *My* version of LoTR, Star Wars, etc still exists, safely in my head.

[@Ggalvan214]

Have you watched the ultimatum? I’d like to see what you think

[@sunflowersentimientos]

😂Not you complaining about Rings of Power, Dr. Kirk! lolllllll

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

Bartise just wanted to get to the wedding day. He wanted his 15 minutes of fame. I think when Nancy's talking about wanting out it's a cumulative right? If she ends the relationship then she's off the series, out of the furnished apartment and back to normal life.

[@jennyyyy189]

Well her normal life seemed pretty amazing lol Shes pretty wealthy and has multiple properties, and this apartment sure was a downgrade for her, as was the emotional Rollercoaster with bartise

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

@@jennyyyy189 I didn't mean for that to sound like a reason for Nancy to want to stay, I was trying to clarify what I understood her to mean when Dr. H was wondering at her use of the phrase "wanting out". There was a LOT of income disparity on this season and I really wish he had touched on that for several of these couples, Nancy and bartise being one of them. Nancy did not need bartises' broke ass for nothin'.

[@jennyyyy189]

@@InThisEssayIWill... oops completely misunderstood sorry. Yeah you're right.

[@carr0760]

It just occurred to me when you said that 30 people do the show, 15 women and 15 men, that I would actually be very interested in watching a show where it was 30 bi or pan people. I don't watch these shows at all, but I think I'd actually watch that. Do away with all the heteronormativity.

[@Maiara22]

Dr. Kirk, please, make reaction videos on Love is Blind Brasil, season 2!!!!!

[@andra9601]

Is it just me or are Nancy, Colleen and Z often speaking in a very dramatic way, using a certain type of heavier/emphatic pronunciation and tone that projects confidence and certain hand gestures that support that? I think Z does it all of the time, Nancy does it 70% of the time and Colleen does it maybe 30% of the time. Just something I notice about the way they talk on the interviews. I’m not their age though, is it a generational thing to communicate that way? I’ve seen others do it too, esp on the socials.

[@ginnydodson8260]

It may be a texas thing. Lol. I do it sometimes.

[@andra9601]

@@ginnydodson8260 oh actually, my friend is from Austin Texas and I think she is in her 50s and I think she does it too! Thanks for saying that. I’m Canadian.

[@poponachtschnecke]

I will never stop being extremely frustrated and annoyed that Peter Jackson decided to write a sword measuring contest into the journey through the Paths of the Dead, instead of exploiting the immense fear of the unknown that was at play in that scene. As long as they didn't see the dead men, they were much more interesting, and he could have had the confrontation on the other side. I feel like that scene was written in as a bonus to the CGI people.

[@andra9601]

Hmmm, as an ace, I feel very little if anyone tells me that they find me attractive 🤣 Also feel close to nothing if they tell me that they don’t find me attractive. Now if anyone tells me that they think I’m a healthy person, I will hang on to that compliment for years (or for EVER)

[@kaylove4507]

What's an ace

[@carr0760]

@@kaylove4507 asexual

[@andra9601]

Ace is another way of saying asexual. @@carr0760 thanks! 😊

[@GenXIcon]

Isn't it just that they get paid per episode? (As far as staying to the end). I'm not sure if they are afraid of threats of bad edits, though I admit it's possible, or if each episode and a bonus for completion is on the table. On some reality shows where you get voted off, you get paid per episode, which is more incentive to try to stay.

[@julimej8516]

😍😍😍🙏🙏

[@sunnypie2]

They should have a love is deaf show. Where they have the video but a caption text conversation instead. I personally am attracted to a person’s voice a bit more than appearance. But the moral is the whole package is necessary. We’re not involved in a part of a person. So these experiments are interesting but it’s obvious we like EVERYTHING. Not oart

[@jennifervosler91]

Peter Jackson? Does he mean Percy Jackson?

[@carr0760]

No, he means Peter Jackson, the director of the LOTR trilogy that he was discussing...

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

👀

[@NERAK-k3g]

Yeah

[@carr0760]

@@NERAK-k3g no...