Why INFPs Suck At...

[@KafkaKappa]

Perhaps.. INFPs are simply built for retirement

[@kaitlyncoleman7872]

This made me laugh so hard, haha

[@raindot5156]

@K-am retired. Never had a job I enjoy this much. 😉

[@doodlemunchkin2222]

When the kids in my 5th grade class were boasting about opening bank accounts for saving for college, I was sitting there wondering if I could start saving up for an early retirement lol.

[@namelessgrace6319]

Omg this is the best comment ever. 👏

[@yourbossisonline7108]

Hhahahaha yes yes

[@mariatso3889]

it feels so good when “criticism” like this comes from a place of understanding instead of ignorance 🖤

[@Grapes_val]

yeap

[@Multitudes_]

Indeed. Way too much of the latter in this community.

[@colosheepclassysongs3484]

INTPs are amazing uwu

[@colosheepclassysongs3484]

Idk about u guys but I really likes criticism when it is to help me improve. For me it's really important getting better in things that are important for me

[@lovewho]

This is great to hear! It's always a tricky thing to navigate so I'm glad to hear there's a decent balance in this video. Long may it continue! ~ Nathan

[@slipskolt7300]

"Why INFPs Suck At: 1. Marketing, Sales and Self-Promotion" Nothing to promote if you aren't even that great in the first place ahahah 😎😎 "3. Self Doubt and Imposter Syndrome" *chokes on my own joke coz it backfired*

[@RaihanBrine]

I want to give a shout out to my guitly conscious in the conner of the room!

[@lovewho]

I love this comment! ~ Nathan

[@slipskolt7300]

@@lovewho OH HI THANK YOU I FORGOT IT EXISTED

[@prateekthakur1848]

"Lots of self doubt and and really high standards." Why must you hit me so close ;_;

[@vinz1239]

TRUE I CAN RELATE SO HARD

[@brunapurtell4346]

Ah yes! self sabotage =(

[@lovewho]

It's definitely a trend that I've noticed with INFPs, it's quite paradoxical but common ~ Nathan

[@CaveyMoth]

I'm a strong INFP. I read the title and only cried for 20 minutes.

[@WhispersOfTheMoon.]

Underrated comment.

[@christineherrmann205]

Awwwwwww. My ENFJ self sees you and hopes you're ok.

[@slugabug1]

🤣🤣 INFP, and that made me laugh

[@redwolfungry]

me an INTP: how does someone can secrete so much tears and not die of dehydratation?

[@Cxurtney]

Lmao

[@unluckydova]

Hello INTP here. I've been dating an INFP for a little over a year now, and I have to say INFP's are very underrated (i know he's not talking down on them or anything lol). INFP's have a surprisingly strong will and can be very logical, now given this isn't their natural state. For me personally, the reason I love INFP's is bc I am able to have higher level conversations, example, our conversations can range from Daedalus and Icarus to the morality of abortion, and as an INTP it makes my day much better to have someone to not only talk to but someone who has coherent thought about deeper things.

[@lovewho]

INTP/INFPs relationships seem like they'd be very interesting indeed. I agree completely when it comes to INFPs being capable of being logical, that's probably something that typology dichotomises way too much in fact. Great comment! ~ Nathan

[@punkbjork]

my dream relationship tbh

[@unluckydova]

@@punkbjork Happiest Ive ever been, infps are gods blessings on this earth lol

[@brumbybailey6599]

Oh no... * Bracing for impact *

[@adamquery7048]

Edited - LuLz

[@lovewho]

Hopefully it wasn't too much of a bumpy ride ~ Nathan

[@adamquery7048]

@@lovewho A Ship in Harbor is safe, but that is not what Ships are built for.

[@johnypanta6208]

INFP Graphic Designer 🎨 here!!! Once you start developing your Te a little bit it does wonders for you. Yes it is the inferior function and yes it does come out during stress (a lot) but it also symbolises the areas of yourself that you need to work on the most if you are ever to be and feel fulfilled. Te is part of you. Accept that it's going to be uncomfortable dealing with it and...Don't ignore it.

[@mcpm1177]

How do you improve Te? I think I always thought of it as a way of discipline, but I am wondering now I might be wrong. Is it that you literally get better at thinking and your approach changes when you develop it? What happens? How did you develop it?

[@FalconWindblader]

@@mcpm1177 Short answer, put yourself under stress, A LOT of stress from time to time, & ACT, meaning do whatever that needs to be done when it kicks in than just sit around thinking. observe how you're different when you're in Te-dominant mode, learn from it, get used to it, & start accessing it more even when you're not stressed. that was how my Te was developed, & how i later went about developing it further. just watch out about overstressing yourself doing so, or you'd be very likely to get burned out. inferior functions ain't called inferior without reasons after all.

[@lovewho]

Love this advice! ~ Nathan

[@johnypanta6208]

@@mcpm1177 Ok you don't have to resolve into extremes. Like every skill it needs practice and repetition. Start with small tasks at first, like trying to keep a schedule, or do things in their time and not last minute. Also, try to see things in your life more objectively...Fi will not be so happy about this but your Ne will love it. This is when you will start to see how it positively affects your life 😜. Developing you Te as an INFP will feel like swimming against the current, but it worth it. Sooner or later you'll be able to handle stressfull situations more easily. I hope my advice helps 😃

[@johnypanta6208]

@@sojourneroftheland Thank you!! What's your type?

[@alessiapa2000]

"lots of self-doubt and really high standards" SPOT ON

[@cherryblossom7442]

The issue with arts is that no one cares about arts unless it comes with nudity, something extraordinary, abstract or the person has pure luck. This is the day and age we live in. Still INFPs make my heart soft - ENFP

[@omermanjo7459]

Thats really correct

[@heathergrahame9647]

I have an INFP brother and, for a long time, I thought he was too self-sacrificing. He spent many years living with and looking after our elderly parents in their old age, even though he (and some of the other children) had experienced significant abuse. Today, long after our parents' death, he has no regrets and, in fact, regularly counsels me that it's better to live with someone you dislike than to live alone. Whilst these are my ideas not his ... I sense that INFPs get a great deal of inner satisfaction from caring for others. So to dedicate themselves to assisting others is, in a way, an act of "selfish" joy. Edit: As an INTJ, living alone is my selfish joy :/ Ah, the uninterrupted peace and freedom to delve into my creative mind.

[@delll372]

i would agree, INTP here. i saw the same pattern with my INFP boyfriend and abusive member of family in the past. they are probably too kind for their own good. must protect INFP at all cost!

[@tracyzimmerman7912]

INFP...love to care for others but now to tired for drama. We do get immense joy out of taking care of others though. I to live alone for peace of mind.

[@sunshineandrain869]

I’m an INFP and that comment really hit home. I’m struggling with decisions right now that involve something similar, and my decision affects more than myself.

[@Multitudes_]

As an INFP, I'm with you. I'd 100% rather live alone than with someone I dislike, and though I do have compassion for my parents, who have also been abusive, and a certain degree of willingness to help them, I have strong boundaries and limits. Not all of us are that self-sacrificing - not that I don't appreciate the kindness of those who are. "So to dedicate themselves to assisting others is, in a way, an act of 'selfish' joy." - On some level, most anything that anyone does could be described as having some kind of 'selfish' purpose. This doesn't apply to INFPs more than it does to anyone else.

[@raindropsonroses3919]

@@Multitudes_ being less self sacrificing comes with age and wisdom. As INFPs we learn as time goes on that not everyone is going to be as caring as we are. We adapt as a mode of protection. I’ve certainly found that my boundaries have become stronger throughout the years

[@NavesNiche]

As an INFJ I just love INFPs! Let's talk art and feelings!

[@angelicatrino2498]

I am very uncomfortable when I am in the receiving end of a compliment. I want to change the subject cause I never take myself too seriously. I am just me nothing extraordinary. We don't want to be a bother because we don't want to be bothered. We are slow to act because we are afraid to commit a mistake. I agree sometimes fake it till you make it can work. Learning by experience can be the best teacher. Its true that we forget to push the like and subscribe button too after watching a video. We get lost on our thoughts about what we think about the content of the video forgetting that the owner of the channel need the support.

[@RaihanBrine]

My mind have subconsciously being put on autopilot so that everytime I watch a new video I will always like first...

[@angelicatrino2498]

@@RaihanBrine are you an infp too?

[@RaihanBrine]

@@angelicatrino2498 Down to the core!

[@angelicatrino2498]

@@RaihanBrine oh. You dont get distrac ted easily. I get lost on my thoughts after watching a video.

[@RaihanBrine]

@@angelicatrino2498 Who say? I have mastered the art of multi mind so proficiently that I can think, watch, listen and write all at the same time at the cost of getting confused because I don't pays attention at all! Not a very great skill I have to say...

[@michaeliacangelo9423]

Nailed it again, Nathan! I'm an INFP who has written a dozen or so songs over the years that I believe are excellent (>) but have essentially done nothing with them over the years other than share them with some family and friends, who all are wowed by them. I know I need to--virtually obligated to--put these out in the world, but loathe the idea of self-promotion. I'm not getting any younger, so it's time to bite the bullet. Thx for the kick in the pants.

[@maha_13]

same lol. only recently ive started putting out short intrumental music, so that i can gain the confidence to put out my own words someday lol. i guess for some of us these songs we write are just really personal and we wouldnt probably want people to critique them maybe but idk. anyways good luck, you should definitely put yourself out there. :)

[@lucassperb6864]

Oh lord I relate, I have some great ideas and I want to put it out but I feel so afraid (even now I am afraid of commenting this)

[@enk335]

good luck!!!!!

[@sonja5058]

Good luck! Please come back here and send a link when you do so!

[@lovewho]

This is great to hear! People often make the reverse mistake too of being too eager to promote themselves when they aren't ready and don't have the goods so to speak. So you're actually in a good position. If you make sure to tell yourself in advance that you're going to feel a certain level of discomfort when self-promoting then it will make it much easier to navigate ~ Nathan

[@nerysghemor5781]

BTW, will we get the "How ESTJs Defy Their Stereotype" video soon? I'd really like that because ESTJs get dumped on a lot but my ESTJ mom is actually a very good person. --INFP

[@CaveyMoth]

ESTJs are very fascinating, man. Such can-doers. They're basically what I think a normal human being is like.

[@polishmeow8298]

Yes! I have an ESTJ mom too and ESTP dad. They're not that bad as their stereostypes say. -INFP

[@meredith18352]

The ESTJs in my life live to help other people. Yes, they can be out-spoken and bossy but I don't understand why a type who needs to be helpful always seems to get a bad rap in the personality type community.

[@enk335]

oh yeah estjs are great, theyre really cool -infp

[@lovewho]

Funnily enough my mother is also an ESTJ so that is definitely one that I will/should make at some point soon! ~ Nathan

[@nacoleinseoul2604]

Honestly, I expected to feel sad, but I think I needed to hear a lot of this to better myself

[@lovewho]

I'm very glad to hear that was your reaction, thank you for this comment ~ Nathan

[@myaimagines5475]

I’ve recently learned that I am ~a lot~ more ADHD than I thought (the inattentive type) and this video just reminded me of how much being an INFP probably exacerbates all the *executive function* issues that every ADHD person ever deals with. It’s literally an executive function/dopamine disorder. I lowkey feel cheated

[@bluelotusnefertoum2144]

You not the only one! Because of the dopamine disorder. We must be our best cheerleader. To push the subconscious and unconscious mind to bring good things in our lives. This may feel like it goes against our nature. But, it must be done for us to progress in our lives.

[@mlandry491]

exactly so. adhd/infp here. adhd is really some piece of work. the narratives that go hand in hand with that crap are so defeatist. i learned right fasts the broken feeling of otherness. We are cheated when it comes to dopamine. (wellbutrin works. mecuna puriens (terribly spelled lol) as well.) learning my cognitive functions, and leaning into my type rather than fighting, put a brand new sheen on my otherness. i feel allowed to dig the differences. Even if not , i dig them anyway. lol You might enjoy Andrew Hubermans podcasts. My you tube obsessions= nathan glass and andrew huberman.😉 i wonder if huberman is an intp...

[@bluelotusnefertoum2144]

@@mlandry491 yes, since we don't get the reward system (dopamine boost) like other people. We have to work three times harder to stay motivated! Validate yourself be your best cheerleader

[@mlandry491]

@@bluelotusnefertoum2144 indeed

[@doodlemunchkin2222]

Sometimes i don’t know if I have ADD..or I’m just an all around normal INFP lol. I have depression..which I’m sure also doesn’t help with the focus and motivation, but I can sometimes push myself into doing responsibilities and actually enjoying the outcome, but my ENFP brother was recently diagnosed with ADD..and we’ve always had trouble getting him to play his part in the family and focus on the important things. Yet since ADD tends to be something that runs in the family..and I feel like my struggle to focus isn’t too far behind from his at times, it makes me wonder.

[@MrMellow2289]

The moment you brought up how INFPs struggle with being too self sacrificing I couldn’t help but laugh. I am going through a crisis of exactly that sort right now. But where do you draw the line? I understand I need to put myself first but what or who can I, in good conscience, sacrifice so I can be happy? Great video as always! It feels like they always come just when I need them. To all my INFP brethren I love you!

[@lovewho]

Putting yourself first in those crucial moments will help everyone else too later down the line, it's always good to bear that in mind ~ Nathan

[@Multitudes_]

Personally, my most persistent realm of suckage has been the management of time, space, and money. Also just the making of money... partly due to not being interested in lucrative career fields and partly because I don't want to be imprisoned by a full-time job. I do detest self-promotion. Job interviews are the absolute worst. I just want people to test my skills directly rather than asking me to sell myself. Luckily, some jobs in my field do forgo interviews and do just that. I have had to push myself to be more aggressive and less emotionally invested when it comes to jobs, because I've had too much of a tendency to turn every job-related choice into an existential dilemma, questioning, overanalyzing, hesitating, and ultimately taking no action. Fortunately I have an abundance of self-respect that prevents me from engaging too much in #2, and #3 can be true, though all in all I think I have higher self-esteem than the average INFP.

[@PriHL]

The marketing part is so true. I've often heard INFPs saying how marketing is lies. To me (I'm INFJ) marketing is fascinating and it fascinates me how you can make one thing desirable while there are so many similar things on the market at the same time (it's about concepts and as we all know, INFJs love concepts). To the INFPs this would sound like manipulation but if there was no marketing then people couldn't sell their products and make no money, so they could not make an income and live. So it can actually be a good thing.

[@SleightWryder]

"You have to be pushy - very pushy". That's so annoying, every time I put someone off about my work, I can empathize with them wanting to get as far away from me...

[@arwuh]

The thing that lead Fi types are strongest at is standing firmly by their own values, which is great. The flip side though is that is is very difficult to reason them out of what feels right to them, even if multiple people are presenting them with solid evidence that there is something wrong. That doesn't necessarily make them selfish but they certainly are 'self-directed'.

[@mlandry491]

thats fair. well said.

[@yourbossisonline7108]

Exactly👍👍👍

[@kalliel7266]

I’m always searching for what’s true. And I care very much if someone presents me with solid evidence. If I hear a better argument I will always change my mind. Love, an INFP

[@mlandry491]

@@kalliel7266 indeed. i am just the same way.

[@arwuh]

@@kalliel7266 You might be an ExxJ, but don't sweat it

[@ths_1999]

i am a happy INFP now and when I see some stereotypes I start to wonder if I have mistyped myself. I had a low point in life 2 years ago and changed my perspectives on many things. This video relates to that time of my life and I can see how far I've come. Thank you Nathan.

[@andytheindividual3862]

True literally the reason why I couldn't be a personal trainer. I hate sales! Even if the product we are selling is legit.. it still kills your soul.

[@Nice-Biscuit]

How about get someone else to push sales for you. AND your authenticity is one of your selling points. ;p But authentic people are the ones people would like to buy from.

[@tracyzimmerman7912]

I agree

[@minacchiii8932]

*reads the title* Ah yes, a very informative topic about my pain. I like it. Anyway... hello fellow INFPs out there who wants their artworks to reach a wider audience but doesn't have confidence to self-promote cause you feel like you're bugging them into doing something they don't want to do :'>

[@Caledoniadream]

AmongUs: The INFP was not the imposter. INFP: Oh yes, I am...😔

[@radishraven9]

i was so prepared on being roasted but you understand INFPs so well that none of this surprised me...because i'm so good at roasting myself 😂

[@DarkWarrior0175]

If I need to choose between working in sales, accounting or business and be poor I would cut my wrists and jump off a bridge. -Me (INFP) talking about careers

[@fawziyamusa2081]

I loved the part where you said start first & learn later. Literally something I as an INFP have learned & put into practice this year! Great advice, Thank you ❤️

[@lovewho]

Glad to hear it, hope you enjoyed the video! ~ Nathan

[@polishmeow8298]

0:54 Yeah, I realized that. Being single or simply not having met enough people with the same interests/wavelength bothers me. I thought maybe I'm not putting myself much out there. I started putting all signs like photos and write in the About info my interests/hobbies in my social media account. Just so if people place interest on me, they'd have a good understanding of me and maybe I'd attract similar people like me. Yeah, I know it's still passive "marketing" or interaction but it's better than nothing. I realized maybe I'm being too private hence I couldn't meet "my" people. I've always been the type not to share these and may be seen unopinionated because I felt too vain for doing so and felt like overexposing myself. I also have the tendency of not revealing any of my works because I feel it's not yet good enough. Then, I tell myself maybe next time until I've really mastered it. I realized I'm in this constant cycle. I realized people wouldn't know me if I don't share these; then I always try to convince myself it wouldn't make any less of me to share who I am. I should be aware of my exceeding fondness of self-improvement and evaluate my criticality/standards apparently getting high without me even noticing it.

[@lucassperb6864]

I feel the same as you, it's like I'm always lost and no one can help me

[@andraz5377]

These don't scare me. My mom's ISTJ. My former boyfriend is ISTJ. My best friend is INTP. I was born for knowing what I suck at. I was also born to not do anything about it unless these people yell at me.

[@sunshineandrain869]

That’s funny. My dad is an ISTJ and mom is an ISFJ. My brother is an INTP. I know your struggle.

[@pamboutilier3509]

Lololololol!!

[@dazzlebreak4458]

Hmm, I thought we hate yelling - INTP

[@andraz5377]

I know when you are yelling on the inside, INTP. - INFP

[@andraz5377]

But we're lucky, though, to be influenced by these natural disciplined organizers. Sure we sometimes imagine destroying them, but we also love them.

[@gabriellebarnard707]

Blown away. My jaw actually dropped from the level of insight & deep understanding. Thank you not only for your gently delivered truth bombs but the clear solutions.

[@lovewho]

Thank you very much! If you haven't already then definitely check out our Discord server, I think you'll enjoy it on there ~ Nathan

[@mlandry491]

so true. lol the sales thing is a running joke for me. I found a way to reconcile this flaw as to not get fired and it has taken on a life of its own. I am a skin therapist/aesthetician by trade and nerdy for products that preform. If i believe in something, I throw my passion behind it and it really sells. I say, "no I dont hate this..." it sells. On the other hand, I physically cannot sell something I do not believe in. I read the box and I'm like " um well, Im not in love." it sits on a shelf. I felt so guilty about this that I added to my advice "but if you enjoy it, by all means, do" but to sell for the sake of selling, that has never been a thing. it just feels so false.

[@lovewho]

Extremely good point, for some people it's essential for them to believe in the thing they're selling for them to have any chance ~ Nathan

[@mlandry491]

@@lovewho especially infps... but perhaps intps as well. maybe not so much believing in a thing in order to sell it, but believing that selling is the logical thing to do, thus worth doing well. That could be a thing. perhaps... sounds intp ish to me. lol

[@cupofmochaccino5920]

I love how open-minded we can be and yet be so stubborn at the same time 😂

[@miruonlive]

First of all, this video was so accurate, and I think that I needed that call out. Second, as an INFP who wants to be a freelancer I'll start next year to study Marketing at university, because I would only trust myself to sell what I do/who am I to the rest. Also, newer versions of marketing include a lot of creative and artistic process because of the promotions online (a spectacular way tu put my perfeccionism to good use), so that's a plus. Third, I have two opposite reactions to do the things: do them and explain them while they're telling me what to do, or do them at last minute. Also, pretty high standards not only bcuz of myself, but growing with strict parents doesn't help at all (to a level that I feel dangerous when I'm in perfectionist mode, because I could react so bad, or start bursting in tears, no middle point).

[@lovewho]

It's great to hear that you find it accurate. Although technically this is a 'call out' it's ultimately supposed to be helpful to whatever type is watching. Hope you enjoyed it! ~ Nathan

[@halgreen7808]

Your advice to start first and learn later is very good. Once I started doing this with creative things, I finally made progress. If you spend all your time preparing and trying to get to the point that you'll be good enough to do something well, you are not spending the time on practicing that thing which would actually cause you to improve more quickly.

[@sebatron1984]

Great stuff as usual. This dude has amazing communication skills when explaining the distinctions of all the MB types. I'd be curious to see his insight for those like me who score INFP and INTP interchangeably on tests depending on the phrasing of questions - when your T and F cognitive functions are almost at odds with each other, as well as S vs N, etc.

[@Multitudes_]

I think the popular stance in the community, and Nathan's stance, is that you should type yourself by the cognitive functions and not by tests. However, this isn't actually that helpful for everyone. There are thousands of possible ways to order the eight cognitive functions, and this crude set of 16 personality types only allows for 16 very specific orders, which many real people are not going to embody. I too am someone who was always almost 50/50 on thinking vs. feeling on tests and related about equally to the INFP and the INTP types, and any way I slice it, I'm a big user of both Fi and Ti - but the system is artificially set up such that you can only be strong in one or the other, and the rigid-minded people in this community will give you a hard time if you claim to be a hybrid... so I just stick with INFP because, in the grand scheme of things, I am slightly more driven by Fi.

[@emelieha]

This hits too close to home. Great work once more. As for subscribing: I have already taken such action a long time ago, and shan't do it again lest something bad would happen like me unintentionally unsubscribing. I shall therefore continue my non-action a little while longer

[@lovewho]

I appreciate your non-action when it comes to not unsubscribing. If you've been watching the channel for a long time then definitely consider checking out the Discord server too! ~ Nathan

[@apurvadeshpande2366]

Such an enjoyable video !! As an enfp, learned valuable stuff about my infp cousins

[@cecilerothan6972]

Oh yes, I totally agree on several points (not in a "I see your point"-way, rather in a "oh I already thought exactly this"-way). 1. People often retrospectively mastermind their stories (and that's disgusting, I agree with you xxTPs) I'm always tempted to do it (who doesn't love a pretty story? OK, maybe high Ti-user find it very annoying) and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. Plus, my biased bullshit detector assures me I'm not (biased because hey, I'm an INFP, when I hope for something to be true, I can distort reality (I hope people do retrospectively mastermind because otherwise, it would mean I'm a particularly nasty human for doing it)). Anyway, I totally do this in "official" circumstances when I'm summing up a project or looking for a job... When I'm talking to "real people" though, I would tend to do the exact opposite and say that basically, I didn't take any decision and that everything was arbitrary (in a proud tone of voice). 2. I feel like I have high standards for myself. In very specific areas though. In areas that matter to me. It can be anything from not being aggressive to math. I have a drive to "get better", not just "good enough" or "better than the others". I mean, better than the others around you is very satisfying but you're never really better than anyone else (see 3.). So I don't stop there. I don't expect a point in life where I will feel like I can rest. I expect from myself to make the most of every mistake I do. If I break down when I make a mistake, that's because I have to understand why it happened, how I can avoid it in the future and if I need to take a general decision to change something about my way of living. It's hard to put yourself in question all the time, you realize you should change a lot a lot more often and it's not confortable. (disgression (OK, even bigger disgression) : what matters to me ? Everything that is sufficiently generic to be applied in every situation, that's what I consciously decided. I like math because it makes me better at inventive and logical reasoning, and that can be useful everywhere (I also like rants because it makes me think and realize where I stand) But actually, most of the things that matter to me are in the following categories, and I didn't "consciously decide it" : don't cause trouble on purpose in other people's lives, don't try to persuade other people with your convictions about life/obligations, don't participate in ignoring the outcasts and mocking the weird, don't be influenced by the group if they don't respect the first 3 rules (which is 90% of the time if you ask me), try to be as little a disruption in other people's life as you can be) 3. INFPs always doubt (not just ourselves, but we do think a lot about ourselves). Ne aux, too low Te... I feel like we don't know what will/could really happen (in terms of probability) so we just run tests of every outcome when we feel like the situation is critical (could I cope with this or that ? No ? Even if I try ? So how can I avoid this outcome?). And if eventually Ne can't find a way to avoid the problem, one can always check if there even is a problem to begin with with Te (is this outcome even possible?). But I try to avoid that, it's not super natural to me (see how this could be a problem ? 99% of the situations I plan never happen). I don't live it like a curse, I'm more worried for xNxJs with their sense of certainty (they're really impressive, but bad luck becomes The Worst Situation Ever to them I'm afraid, whereas I get a huge sense of satisfaction from the fact that I'm not surprised, which is a confidence boost and allows me to have enough determination to handle the problem. See, INFPs have to learn to emotionally manipulate themselves in order to cope with life. Wait. Am I retrospectively masterminding??? Told you I had this tendency. I dislike it though). INFPs don't really compare themselves to others or external standards, because they try not to mix "others" and their goals, just to be sure they stay themselves and keep their own standards "unbiased". I feel like that's why I usually feel like I'm worse than the others at anything that matters to me. That's just the result of my "consider the worse even if it's improbable" way of living. Which may be the secret to INFP optimism. When things go the tiniest bit well, I'm so elated that I can take on anything that happens afterwards. That was a horrible rant, ever heard anyone say that INFPs become ENFPs when tired ? I think it's very accurate.

[@patrycjakowalska2286]

Thank you Nathan. Your understanding and explaining functions is incredible. Wanted to delete this comment, but you deserve credit😊

[@lovewho]

I appreciate your restraint in not deleting this comment ~ Nathan

[@audreytyn6965]

Holy moly! How insightful you are. Yes I do believe we care too much and bend ourselves into pretzels attempting to avoid hurting others…

[@lovewho]

Thank you for this comment, hope you enjoyed the video! ~ Nathan

[@BirdsFaultyVlogger]

4:10 I am literally in my final year of my BSc in microbiology because I read about a character who worked as a forensic pathologist and I wanted to pretend to be her. I am the definition of an imposter. lol help me I'm not meant to do science

[@inkripples4030]

The support and understanding I got from this video is like a life-saving hug 😭

[@lovewho]

That's amazing to hear, thank you for leaving this comment ~ Nathan

[@begovicvic89]

Yeeees!!! This is a valuable topic for all infp includinf myself... and it covers most areas i think 😊 I especially appreciated the self doubt part and the inability to use the inferior function which wouls solve so much of our day to day success problems.. since my husband is an estj he's really pushing me to use this te function. And it really helped this past few months after things have sort of turned back to a new normal.. and im trying to be more aware of my being actions feelings thinking when I say and do things.. it helped my mental health to be this way 👍

[@kritikajaishriradhey]

Excellent video. As an INFP, the first one is so accurate.

[@tombrouillette6744]

Hi, Nathan - I only a few months ago discovered my INFPism. After discovering the concept of INFP, I re-read a memoir that li have recently written that reads as a kind of a manifesto of a life being an INFP. Thank you for your videos.

[@vincent.mazkett187]

Suggestion for most Introverts specifically INFPs in the rabbit hole...Let's do Bitcoin - INTP

[@kestrel09]

Of late I have been presenting frequently in public at conventions. It's really helped to have a deep belief that I have something to say and share. Along with all other beings. It helps that presenting is framed within a context and feels like I am playing an acting role, a presenting persona. I have really enjoyed this experience as it is creative. However, I'm still quiet before and after. It's been really good for my self-esteem and would recommend a similar journey.

[@RosheenQuynh]

Being obtrusive will make me feel like I'm forcing myself somewhere that I am not wanted... I'd rather be invited where I am needed.

[@justynap5031]

ahh yes... lazy perfectionist

[@lovewho]

Haha! Well said ~ Nathan

[@candellina6]

Off topic: this is my favorite hairstyle for Nathan.

[@lovewho]

I employed my mother to give me a haircut recently (as she has done for the last... decade) but duly noted nonetheless ~ Nathan

[@soren5418]

2:55 I know this kind of relationship well ..

[@priyamean]

i sacrifice a lot for my family and when i do things for myself, for example, spending my hard earned money on myself, i feel selfish

[@regrr1774]

I feel so seen and the moment you said "You have to seek them out. You have to be somewhat pushy." I felt like vomiting. I'll go back to all the side projects I'm doing which will never be finished because they're not good enough yet. Or ever.

[@lovewho]

It's good to acknowledge those feelings in advance. As a result when you start to feel them it takes the edge off them at least a tiny bit ~ Nathan

[@carlac8228]

Enjoyed as this is saturated with insight that I was thirsty for.

[@BrewerArts]

Very good stuff Nathan. I don’t know how you do it! In my case I am a successful small Business Owner and Art Director/illustrator. The success part is largely influenced from other people/partners who have put me out of my comfort zone. I need someone who has full confidence in me to outsource marketing and promotion to because I have found I do not understand how value works. I am constantly told I undervalue my work, possibly because I expect the outside world to tell me what value I bring rather than falsely assert that confidence without knowing the measurables it is founded on. I recently talked with a friend in finance who was trying to get the concept across of the market determining value and I couldn’t grasp it. It felt wrong as though I was taking advantage of others or changing my prices based on how wealthy or established my clients were. It felt arbitrary but I can trust someone else to handle that. I am not good at being pushy, but fortunately it is now people finding me who are pushy. I don’t self-promote but my schedule is packed. The themes of authenticity are very relevant though. I work with clientele who are largely zealous conservatives while I am liberal and I feel like an outsider in their culture, but I have bypassed this concern by reframing the challenge to understand and speak their language. I am interested in understanding brand identities which are similar to human identities so it plays into my inclination to look for meaning. in this framing I am not required to resist or change them, just help them find themselves. They have actually been very kind and accommodating so far. For some reason it works, although I still constantly wonder if I am in the right place.

[@Nice-Biscuit]

Thank you for sharing, this really helps. :)

[@lovewho]

Amazing comment, thank you for taking the time to leave this! ~ Nathan

[@juliazhou692]

ok this just hit too close to home. i am an infp, fresh out of university, doing sales. lol great advice of better to start first than learn later, we often worry too much about everything, especially something that we are completely responsible of... "lots of self-doubt and a very high standard"is literally me at work, worrying that im gonna mess something up/or that im not very good at it, when constantly hearing coworkers giving compliments of how well im doing the task. i get so uncomfortable and suspicious of their intentions unconsciously sometimes bc it sounds so bizzar to my ear, and when i don't perform well i feel way more embarrassed and feel like im disappointing them :( its not a fun mindset to be having but still have a lot to grow lol!

[@aederiyan]

Oh, I'd never wanna be that obtrusive *sigh* That would be forcefully draining.

[@sash8099]

This is why I like Intps more than Entps. They have some understanding of Fi unlike Entps.

[@Natalaie]

We try to understand everything... 🎱 it's so hard for others to understand. 🎎

[@virginiabutters1229]

Just what I needed to hear this morning.

[@lovewho]

Good! ~ Nathan

[@dove-rjlm]

Hello infps

[@la-esmeralda]

Hi😅

[@dove-rjlm]

@@la-esmeralda 🤍🤍🤍

[@Thekiterunner09]

Hi hi

[@Likemotion7]

*Proceeds to disrupt everything by being an entp*

[@Likemotion7]

YO so THAT'S how you put stuff in bold!!

[@Myztyrio]

Nice one, dude! Looking forward to the INTP one.

[@lovewho]

I believe that one already exists! ~ Nathan

[@nerysghemor5781]

Not wanting to market is part of the reason I made the intentional decision to stick with fanfiction rather than trying to publish. I would rather keep it fun instead of stressing out over self-promotion or making a living on it. I'm actually conservative and pro-capitalist (which is why I have no qualms about working for a good company, which thankfully I am), but I just don't feel like doing business tasks at home. --INFP

[@Jo1day]

When you got to the part where you talked about INFPs having lots of self doubt and really high standards, I started laughing. Yep. Also yep to 'it's better to start and then learn.' I have ADHD in addition to being INFP, and sometimes that stinks, but other times it actually helps me to move forward. A phrase I like to tell myself a lot is, "It's easier to fix an imperfect something than breathe life into a perfect nothing." Maybe someday I'll learn to embrace that fully :)

[@graceg5523]

Amazing, concise, accurate, entertaining, perfect videos every time. Thank you so much!

[@myspace5239]

You are such a blessing really! I've been always struggling with friends and family trying to "fix" me. I know they're only trying to help but it also hurts and I can't help going into depression. You do want to help as well. But it such a beautiful delicate way that always bring to my mind what the Prophet once said "Kindness is not to be found in anything but that it adds to it beauty ...". Your kind consideration does beautify even criticism. Thank you!

[@kensears5099]

Hell to an INFP is working a phone in a sales room, making cold calls. It is the lowest level of Dante's Inferno.

[@RM-ti8nf]

Beautiful people.

[@ohmyohasparagus441]

I’m an INFP and I approved this message

[@MoonboyThangluai]

it is a sad thing when a random stranger in the internet understands you more than the people around you

[@am_i_elliot]

Self-doubt is my constant companion! :(

[@benjaminharmon6541]

Great video! Please do one for ISTP!

[@TrebleKnight]

😂 And the video starts off with direct hit. I suck at marketing, but I keep trying.

[@bodine219]

Great timing with this video. (I realize it’s a few months old, but whatever - time is soup) I’m diving into a writing career and seriously considering self pub. The freedom is appealing, the self promotion not so much.

[@mieralunarlunishion]

The irony. Yesterday I complained about my job to my gf, and she said: that's because sales, marketing, self-promotion and convincing people really doesn't sit well with you. I open this video about what INFP's suc at, and the first thing I read is exactly that! :p

[@kaelkirkby9191]

that's rough buddy

[@jenny9075]

This is absolutely accurate..thank you sir.

[@lovewho]

Glad to hear it! If you haven’t already then feel free to check out the Discord server. There’s plenty of INFPs on there that you can connect with ~ Nathan

[@delll372]

sending hugs to all adorable INFP in the comments 🤗

[@brunoedson7330]

about selling, I thinks is more about the nature of what you are selling and keeping in mind that what you sell is for trying to help other people. Is a skill that can be trained. I am an INFP and never struggle too much about that. But I do in the sense of only doing that.

[@pamboutilier3509]

I’m feeling very seen… like, *shifts uncomfortably* very, very seen…. AAAAH! LOOK AWAY!!!!

[@bgm769-g2k]

I hate promoting myself and networking. However, I made a career switch a couple years ago and I'm back in grad school to go into mental health practice. I am currently serving in my first practicum at a university career counseling center and I actually find myself excited and happy to "sell" and "market" career counseling services. Kind of makes me think that I have made a good choice given that I'm interested to engage my weakest and least valued aspects in service of the main interests and strengths.

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

Great video- very much agree with your take on Fi.

[@bespectacledheroine7292]

I once had to end a potential relationship (With the INFJ of my dreams) because, to simplify it, I was terrified my mother wouldn't approve because it was internet based. I was an adult at this time. My would-be boyfriend, clarifying that it wasn't to his benefit to be saying this and he was just worried about me, worried greatly that my self-sacrificing would tear me apart eventually. Perhaps. I still regret it, but I wouldn't change it.

[@totesmcgotes16]

I'm terrible for setting impossible standards and then talking myself out of even trying at all 😅 I'm working on that

[@sk61181]

Ohh bugger, you've got my hands where you can see em, I'm under arrest, period.

[@elizabethb7550]

I don’t like how accurate this was

[@OCViews]

I’m an INFP and am my career is marketing and advertising. I’m definitely not that into and sales and really bad at self promotion. Personally I feel marketing is different because understanding or having an interest in others is what marketing is all about and which INFP’s are good at.

[@lovewho]

Marketing certainly seems like something that INFPs could turn their skillset towards. That being said, I imagine there are plenty of aspects of that world that are off-putting to them as well, so it's something of a double edged sword for them. Sometimes marketing can be like the dark arts, other times it's a way to bring people things that they actually need and would benefit from having. Thank you for this comment, it definitely has me pondering! ~ Nathan

[@toads13]

this whole video was a call out but it was really good and needed, thank you!!!

[@charlespackwood2055]

I think I want an INFP friend. Maybe.

[@cristinacarvajal9846]

Do other infps look at how accurate infp descriptions are to judge if other types’ descriptions are going to be accurate? 😭😭

[@sonja5058]

I feel so seen! Nathan you strike again hehe

[@user-tk2ql5mm8z]

I read the title as " what INFP suck at" and was like : everything? Friendly disclaimer i ADORE INFPs and I've many INFP friends. Oc they don't suck at everything especially when it comes to emotional stuff and most of them are creative and good at arts. But they do suck at many things (when they're not fully developed due to age or bc unhealthy) for instance : confrontations, organisation, objectivity. Those are big fields and if ur bad at them it shows in many different situations. That being said: u guys are cute.

[@AM-qi3xy]

That is quite right but having the mindset of learning how to be good rather than judging yourself for things u suck it is still the beneficial way to eventually do sth right in your life , they are quite amazing and interesting to get to know , just don’t go too far and Judge them , they would take it personally and overthink it

[@Nice-Biscuit]

Ahhhh, if only I can be successful by just being cute.

[@Hephzibah624]

@@Nice-Biscuit Amen 🙏🏻

[@Queezbo]

well..... thank you?

[@vlasaerra]

im really trying to improve okay 😭

[@Deannasilk]

I was speed writing an essay due tomorrow and my laptop dings with the notification "Why INFPs suck" I feel called out in more ways than one lol

[@maintyB]

Ouch... I needed this

[@thejacobin9406]

My favorite youtuber is agrippamaxentius an INFP. He just crashed and burned, he makes good content but it doesnt reflect in his views. He doesnt market himself at all, if anything he just belittles himself.

[@__-eh3ob]

This is very helpful THANK YOU 🌷

[@FrownyMascot]

Looooove your hair!

[@lovewho]

Why thank you... ~ Nathan

[@DLGR21]

I've been in sales 5 years and I still suck at it even though I've gotten better. I always knew it wasn't for me. My goal is to be a stay at home mom in a couple of years. My husband is also in sales and he's an ENFJ so he's amazing at it. I rather live frugally than to work the rest of life in a corporate job

[@alliarsenic]

Spot on. Thanks.

[@lovewho]

Thank you very much! ~ Nathan