Low-Maintenance Vs. High Maintenance Friendships

[@JozelleRenia]

Praying that you all are doing well💕 if you have any suggestions for future content topics, Email ya girl! 📧[e-mail]

[@diamcole]

Low-maintenance and no effort are very different, I wish more people realized that. If you’re consistently running into issues maintaining relationships and often hear you’re emotionally unavailable from a number of people, it may be time to accept that you’re the common denominator in these connections and you may be offering crumbs.

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi Diamcole💕 thank you for taking the time out to leave your thoughts! I agree with you, I do hear many women state that they have no friends & many times they are the common denominator.

[@Alwaysgotsum102say]

Ppl doing too much… it’s not about being up each others asses, it’s literally just being there. They too worried about low maintenance vs high maintenance when you just need to be a regular friend.

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi💕 I can agree, I do believe people are over labeling EVERYTHING . It’s either you’re a good friend or you’re not. However, these discussions are interesting. Thank you for tuning in & taking the time out to share your thoughts 🥰!

[@favourafinni]

Not having time to talk to your friend everyday doesn’t make you a low maintenance friends. As long as you show up when it’s important, we’re good. I don’t do friendship of talking everyday either. I have a life and I need space to recharge. What I consider as low maintenance friends is friends that never pour into you but always want you to pour into them and give them everything. Or friends that always want to take from you but never give in return.

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi Favourafinni, 🥰 thank you for tuning in! I truly love this take and absolutely agree with you! I have too much going on to be on the phone everyday and honesty that's draining 😂. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, God bless!

[@MelodyPrimp]

I think this is a tricky one some friends give off needy energy. Ive recently been ghosted by a friend because I wasn't able to talk to her all the time about her very intense and anxiety inducing problems. The fact that im relieved and dont care helps me realise we we weren't suited for each other. She wasn't wrong in what she wanted and im not wrong in what i wanted. I think the answer is balance. Live your life but agree to meet up consistently to build your friendship.

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi Melody🥰, thank you for tuning in! Yes, sometimes it is hard to navigate those friendships many people need therapy, not friends. This happened to me as well, it is overwhelming having those kind of friendships where they are emotionally needy, every phone call is about them, drama, or overwhelming energy & of course you want to be a good friend so you’re there for them but my goodness something has to give. I pray that you find balanced friendships.💐 Thank you for sharing your thoughts 💕

[@Alwaysgotsum102say]

Communication is key key her know that what she goes through hurts you too bc she’s your friend and it’s hard to hear what she’s going through. If she still imposes then she doing too much and gotta go

[@Alwaysgotsum102say]

Not calling me after years thinking we still friends… girl I’m a whole different person. Being on the phone everyday, all day is annoying asf but I think we can touch bases a couple times out the month.

[@sunflowerlady2057]

That’s an interesting point of view. Thanks for sharing it, truly 💜. I agree, people change over the years. I actually have a friend like this from childhood…it’s been years we don’t talk often…but I still consider her a friend. Haha funny enough, I remember years ago she had told an acquaintance that I was her “best friend.” While I don’t consider her my “best friend” now, she definitely was when we were growing up, and she will always be someone I consider a friend. It’s also quite possible that she doesn’t consider me her best friend these days now too. But we catch up every now and again. We are different people now, there’s things about each other that we don’t know about. But personally as long as she isn’t malice towards me and we can vibe, it’s alright. She’s still a friend to me.

[@JozelleRenia]

I’m sorry to hear that! Yes, years is a bit much, I can understand 3 maybe four months but the phone does work both ways. We just have to use our discernment when it comes to relationships. Will they pour into you when you need them to & are you willing to do the same for them? It’s a balance that many aren’t willing to partake in. Yes, a monthly check in doesn’t hurt even if it’s a text or 5 minute phone call. Thank you for tuning in & taking the time to share your thoughts!💕 God bless!

[@Alliesmith12345]

It’s a thin line between a “low-maintenance friend” and an emotionally unavailable friend. A lot of people just have a wall built up, or they don’t value friendship, or they don’t really like that particular friend. I had a low-maintenance friend; she was also self-centered and cold, so I distanced myself. I would get her gifts, but she never showed up when it really mattered, didn’t get me gifts, was distant when we hung out, but would always complain about girls hating on her or being jealous. I have another low-maintenance friend, but she is always there for me when I need her.

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi Allie, thank you for watching the video! These are some great points! I see many women my age complaining about how it’s hard to make genuine friendships in their 20’ & up. I truly wonder why people don’t value friendships anymore. I’m glad that you were able to identify who was a true friend for you. For me, I don’t have any friends and when I am getting to know other women it can be a bit underwhelming because no one wants to be open. For me I either find people who just need a free therapist or those who are closed off, I’m not in the space to entertain either. 😢

[@sunflowerlady2057]

This is insightful. I’m low maintenance. I don’t need people checking on me, I will still consider you a friend if I don’t hear from you for months. So long as when we connect we pick up like we never left off and you’re not passive aggressive. If you reach out I’ll do what I can to help you. There is only one person that I speak to on the daily basis..and that is my child. But now he’s grown and in college, so now it’s more like every other day or so. I feel this woman @15:18 That is me, she is me.

[@sunflowerlady2057]

But hearing the other perspectives were insightful. I don’t necessarily agree with them all. But it still helps me understand another’s point of view. I’ll do some introspection on this later. I’ll see how I can readjust my behavior to provide more maintenance for my friends who may require more attention or who are feeling neglected. However, I may actually officially let some friendships go for those friends who have needs or expectations, I cannot meet…and who are not vocal about their needs but instead behave passively aggressively. Thanks for this video compilation ❤ great help. 👍🏾

[@JozelleRenia]

⁠@@sunflowerlady2057Hi Gorgeous🥰, thank you for tuning in!! I agree, I have some relationships where we don’t hear from one another for a couple of months but we reciprocate love & check in on one another. They’re not one sided relationships & it’s never any weird energy as you stated. I think when there’s no balance or even boundaries in friendships people overthink and tend to make up their own narratives based on distance, it can get weird. 😂 I love how you identified your traits but can also reflect & take in another perspective to better understand others you may come in contact with, that’s a wonderful trait. I pray that your son continues to thrive in his education and all of his future aspirations! Thank you again for watching and taking the time out to share your thoughts 💕God bless !

[@ratelhoneybadger]

"collective sigh of frustration from autistic girls"☹️

[@JozelleRenia]

🥰 we’re here for you girlies, thank you watching!

[@Alwaysgotsum102say]

OMG IM AuDHD and making friends is HARD. Ppl don’t wanna be bothered as much as I’d like them to be and I don’t like to be bothered EVERYDAY, so it’s hard

[@TIAHKELL]

This is such a good topic because truly there are thin lines!! ❤

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi Tiahkell💐, thank you for tuning in and sharing your thoughts! It truly is a topic that needs to be discussed! 🥰

[@LisaSoulLevelHealing]

High maintenance friends are draining. Gtfoh

[@briannamartocchio5274]

I have the biggest beef with most " low maintenance friendships," I learned over time that people use that as an excuse to use you for their convenience while they talk to other people consistently. Every single person I was a low maintenance friend to, I would see them hang out with other people consistently. It's one thing to go a month or two without talking because we get busy as adults but it's a whole nother to only see each other once a year. At that point it's acquaintances.

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi Brianna💕, thank you for taking the time out to share your experience & thoughts. I most definitely agree with you. I’m sorry that you experienced that & honestly I don’t know why this issue has become so prevalent in the friendship space. I’m not going to be a therapist friend to anyone anymore (will be making a video on that soon) but people categorize their friendships & think it’s okay to use someone for their benefit, it’s truly unfortunate how some people are designed. I pray that you find more meaningful relationships!

[@brooketaylor799]

It’s hard bc I have this girl I’ve been off and on cool for years but I just can’t open my heart to her. She wants to do everything a good friend would but it’s just something where I don’t feel the same towards her. I also feel like I’ve said too much in a time of vulnerability. She also copied me which I know is juvenile but I appreciate other’s’ individuality. I feel like a toxic bf.

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi Brooke, thank you for tuning in.💕 I don’t believe that’s toxic. You have boundaries & it may not be meant for you to open up to her. We’re placed in people’s lives for a reason & sometimes it could be just for you to be there for them & to hear them out. Thank you for sharing your thoughts ❤

[@brooketaylor799]

@@JozelleRenia thank you for your response and that’s a great way of looking at it. 💕

[@whizkidd2227]

low maintenance and high maintenance are just word for people to project their hurt feeling and situation on. that why i think the definition are so different.

[@PullthaleverKronk]

I feel like I want the Grace & Frankie type of friendship, we don't necessarily have to live together but I've been longing for a confidant that I see more than twice a year... Idk I just wanna be close to someone

[@JozelleRenia]

Hii beautiful💗 lol I don’t know the reference (going to search it😂) but I feel the same way. Many people don’t cherish friendship anymore🥺. I don’t mind being in my singleness season but having a true friend would be nice. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 💕

[@non-applicabilenon-applica2105]

❤

[@JozelleRenia]

Thank you for watching 💕💕

[@naturelover6883]

I cherish friendship but I’m emotionally unavailable for friendship now and don’t go out of my way to make any either and I’m okay with that. And your man is different than your friend they’re not the same so we need to stop this.

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi beautiful 🥰 I think that’s the one! Many people are emotionally unavailable & can’t afford to pop into others while they’re trying to pour into themselves. lol your man is most definitely not the same but I understand where she was coming from.

[@JozelleRenia]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!💗

[@JenniferWebber-m6b]

All of these conversations keep happening because people are chronically single in the U.S. I am 31 and most of my friends and I don’t really get to see each other because We are all married with children, and we have jobs as well… so We don’t really have much time left by the end of the day to keep up with a friend’s life. We are there for each other for major and important events, and try to keep in touch, but no one is expecting anybody to make them the priority in their lives. These women need to get a life and some more hobbies… Pathetic!

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi Jennifer, thank you for watching! I am on the same boat as you, I am married with children & those I’m acquainted with are married with children as well. Some of my loved ones on the other hand are unwed without children may take me as a low- maintenance friend because i can’t pour into them the way I used to prior to my family obligations. Thank you again for tuning in & taking the time out to share your thoughts, God bless 🥰🥰!

[@lalat5899]

That rude to say and very dismissive. (I know you don’t care, I’m writing this for other single people after me) Single people need connection too. It’s okay to use your family as that connection but that’s just rude to say they don’t have a life because they don’t have a family. This is a public discussion among single people that maybe don’t want to use a husband and kids as a form of community. There are other ways to have community and I think that’s what single people are figuring out.

[@JozelleRenia]

Hi lala, thank you for tuning in! 💗 I completely understand & agree with you. I don’t believe I seen that part of the comment, maybe it was later added. I myself am married with children & even I desire community outside of them. So I believe single people would as well. Some people have different views on what community and friendship may look like. For me I believe that it’s imperative to have community among others who share similar beliefs. I’ve seen both sides of the coin where someone who had no community dies and didn’t leave behind anything for their children to pick up and where they have to just figure it out on their own… While on the other hand there was the person who cherished and poured into the relationships they had around them. The children didn’t have to worry or lift a finger because when they were down the community came to pick them up. 😊 Thank you for your response to that comment, this is an open forum for discussion! 💗💗