Lying Liars that Lie & Autism

[@ydeardorff]

my autistic son lies every other word, and he's 26,.... it infuriates me to no end.

[@alsoomsecatori2268]

Not true. I lie, I don't like it and I feel super uncomfortable when I do as if other people already know it's a lie and are going to call bs any moment and crucify me. I don't lie maliciously, just to get out of very uncomfortable situations.

[@Catlily5]

We tend to be worse at lying, but we are capable of lying.

[@lajellybeans]

I always thought that autistic people were all honest and not capable of lying like neurotipical people do. I used to be close friends with an autistic girl, and many years later I found out that she destroyed a really good friendship I had with another girl with a bunch of fucked up lies. It was quite shocking to me that the friendship she formed with me was based on a bunch of lies and toxicity. That was the most bizarre friendship I've ever had!!

[@makedreamstangible2263]

Happy belated birthday!! 🥰♥️

[@autisticmusings7429]

Thank you!🥰

[@RatsPicklesandMusic]

I know I CAN lie SOMETIMES. First of all, I'm not good at lying. Second, lying makes me VERY uncomfortable. But third, there are many times I actually DO feel incapable of lying. But it's more in instances where it would need to be quick and involve emotional/facial expression regulation (which I'm bad at). The inhibition executive function can also be an issue for me sometimes, which would make this kind of quick and unrehearsed lying more difficult, too. I can lie by omission the best. It's my default strategy if I feel the NEED to deceive for my own safety or wellbeing. Otherwise I am also extremely honest. Sometimes too much so and I offend others. But that also feels a bit like just part of me. My honesty. My bluntness. They come with my autism. So I wouldn't say I 100% choose to be brutally honest most of the time. It's the way my brain is wired. Loved the video, as always! Just wanted to point out a few ways I a little bit disagree. lol.

[@autisticmusings7429]

Feel free to share disagreements, I learned from them, either more information or I widen my perspective on a topic. I love the feedback and appreciate you’re perspective on the topic. I do think an argument can be made that autistic people are more blunt or direct with communication, and I agree with my own experience. Maybe even lying might be harder for us. I'm more against spreading the idea that an entire group of people is incapable of lying. I think it discredits the fact many of us choose to be honest in any situation in which the majority of the population would lie, by omission or otherwise. The discomfort though, I think at least with my discomfort with lying is due to my reaction to being lied to. It always hits me with a level of despair, especially if I'm familiar with them. I think it's why I'm very honest, I imagine what I feel like when I'm lied to. And I confess to anything wrong I think I’ve done😅. I’ve also talked with an autistic group where someone who’s autistic said they were better at lying than most people because they could remember small details to make the lie seem more realistic to others. With the varying levels of executive function, one autistic person could have no trouble coming up with a lie on the spot. While someone like you and me as well can struggle to come up with something at a moment's notice but could still lie by omission. I think spreading around all of us can't lie is misinformation and carries the notion that all autistic people are the same when our needs and capabilities are very different from one another even though we share common traits. Thank you for commenting! I think you brought up excellent points. Especially with executive dysfunction. I think I’ll dive more deeply into the topic in a later video. I'm glad you like my videos:)

[@RatsPicklesandMusic]

@@autisticmusings7429 You make great points! I agree that misinformation needs to be challenged for sure! My black and white literal brain just took your video to be kind of like an opposite viewpoint where all autistics Can lie and choose not to. It's still a mindset I struggle with (black and white and literal thinking). Lol. And also, you reminded me that being lied to for me is also one of the worst things any person can do to me. I'd almost rather get hit than get lied to. I've also always HATED whenever anyone else would think I was or accuse me of lying, because I Never would. And that hurt(s) just as much. And I'd love to see a video with more nuance on this! And you're welcome! 🥰 I'll be around!

[@autisticmusings7429]

I can empathize with black and white thinking lol. I remember getting into so many arguments when I was younger and I still do because of that line of thinking. I think my awareness of it helps me not delve into some of the more heated debates I use to get into😅. Yes, I have similar feelings to you about lying. I don’t think my reaction to being lied to will ever really lessen. The accusation of lying is always hard, and I feel like often people would tell me the reasons behind my action despite me saying my reasons were entirely different than what they were stating. I can't wait to dive more deeply into the topic, and look forward to seeing you in the comments sections again:)

[@Catlily5]

Most people I know with Autism don't lie as much as other people but there was one guy who lied non-stop. He drove me crazy! I know he just wanted to fit in with other people but he was very annoying to me. Unfortunately it contributed to him dying at a younger age.

[@autisticmusings7429]

I’m am sad to hear he died at a young age. I can empathize with lying to try to fit in, the pressure can feel strong to do that.

[@StrawmnMcPerson]

THANK YOU! AGH!

[@jordanbethanyfitness2061]

Love you! Happy Birthday! I felt this video. 💜

[@autisticmusings7429]

Love you too, Jordan!🥰 I'm glad you felt the video:)

[@ziggypip2938]

My autistic boyfriend was/is the biggest liar possible. Lie and deny and lie…that’s what he did 😢

[@vanissaberg5824]

I remember the first lie I ever told when I was little. I was supposed to be washing dishes and instead I wanted to play with making soap bubbles in the sink (I was 5). Anyway I got caught because I had poured like half of the bottle of soap in the sink till the water was blue lol. My step-mom asked "did you waste the soap?" pointing at the blue soapy water. I knew I was going to get spanked with the wooden spoon if I said yes, so I took a gamble and said "no". Big mistake! She forced me to hold a whole soap bar in my mouth for several minutes while I was crying my eyes out while she sneered. I remember the incidents of other times I lied mainly in order to avoid punishments similar to that one, because it feels like I was constantly getting punished for something or another or for the just not meeting her standards doing work well enough and I was afraid of being hit or yelled at or kicked out of the house or sent to my room with no dinner etc. I was always in trouble even if I didn't know why. 🥲

[@autisticmusings7429]

Thank you for sharing that, I’m sorry you went through that. It’s very understandable that you lied, I have a similar experience with my own mother.