Madame Web - A Hilarious DISASTER

[@GigglewithFelix321]

"We're going to make something they hate and then blame them for hating it"

[@YegRon]

I mean that’s pretty much the default mode for all recent Marvel and SW projects. It’s pretty much the cornerstone of their marketing campaigns nowadays.

[@easter_sunday]

THIS!! EXACTLY THIS!!!!

[@ASoberBear]

Yep, written by woman

[@kylethomas3224]

The definition of rage baiting

[@Dunge0n]

​@@ASoberBear "I enjoy making men uncomfortable! Haha!" -that slag who made Echo

[@midriffzero]

They set the film in 2003 so they could have the song Toxic. But Toxic wasn't released until January 12, 2004. Glad to see they did their research

[@Nyet-Zdyes]

Speaking of doing their research... Dakota saw 15 minutes of 1 Marvel movie... so, in other words, she's a pretty typical female in that regard... and I do not mean ANY criticism... to HER. But that is exactly the reason you should never let a typical woman write, direct, or produce (w/any creative control) one of these movies. They effectively disqualify themselves due to their lack of relevant knowledge... and appreciation.

[@n4ughty_knight]

But Madame Web can see the future so she projected the 2004 Spears into the 2003 Spears...

[@radrobd123]

Initially the movie was set in the 90s so baby Peter would be Andrew Garfield. They then changed in post production to 2003 so the baby Peter would be Tom Holland

[@santaclaus1365]

And then they realized that Tom Holland's Spider-Man couldn't be 15 by 2016 if he was born in 2003. So they just gave up and now there's a completely random subplot about an irrelevant pregnant woman having an irrelavent baby in an irrelevant movie.

[@heeeeeythere7480]

In all fairness the album “in the zone” came out in November 2003.. and toxic is on the album so

[@Max_Ivanov_Pro]

It's incredible how they consistently manage to disappoint fans and ignore source material. Hollywood just never learns from past mistakes.

[@Avenue-Angel]

its not Hollywood lol its Disney and Sony

[@didierfavre2356]

Writers are rejected if they know and love the source material.

[@TheNervousnation]

There must be no one at all defending source material.

[@didierfavre2356]

@@TheNervousnation They have been fired.

[@uruloki2758]

EGS money baby. They can afford to make these failures as long as it serves to push the agenda. Though as of 2024 it seems that well has dried up.

[@memibrowne1945]

she gets off the bus in Peru, no guide, a tiny map, and walks through the jungle and finds exactly where she needs to go.

[@ZeroSOFInfinity]

Because.... clairvoyance *ding*

[@antoniohagopian213]

How does she travel so fast when being a "suspect" and still driving that taxi.😂

[@MacBo-lh8dm]

omfg, its the same thing i said.... this is just so bad...

[@linelivin628]

And she dressed like she was still in nyc at the park! No adventure clothes or anything.

[@shawnhamilton710]

@@antoniohagopian213 thank you. she leaves the country gets back and drives the same stolen taxi with no plates.

[@Matthewwithers33]

“Has no backstory” shows how Hollywood tells their directors not to intake any of the material out there

[@MrJayehawk]

I was stunned when he made that comment at 0:38 WHAT?!?

[@RocafellaPlaza]

And so that really gave us a lot of Freedom. And ALL the ANALysts

[@boxcarhobo7017]

Like Kathleen Kennedy saying Star Wars had no prior material to draw from? Because they had made all prior material non canon. Only to cherry pick, ransack it for their never gonna happen Rey movie now. Awesome times we live in. Awesome.

[@AbdulAdas]

I bet none of them read any single comic in their entire lifes 😂

[@blazingmonolith4323]

God what an absolute moron to say that shit.

[@mr.punisher5100]

Too bad Morbius wasn't in it. At least it would give people a bit of a chuckle since this film isn't as meme-able as Morbius was

[@redomega24]

It's Morbin ti....

[@Mr.E_Bodhako]

ironically they probably didn't put morbius in madame web because they understand that morbius movie failed and morbius movie character was not liked and That might have brought down the madame web movie if they did that, turns out morbius may have made madame web a better movie had he been in it xD

[@chuyeeyang9881]

He shows up and then actually say "it's Morbin time". Then the movie ends.

[@janminglee3004]

Morbius will appear in Kraven movie post credits

[@pacman_17]

Even the M-SHE-U in a different universe sucks. The into to the video was hilarious.

[@sirdzl7105]

Set in 2003, and the guys playing a PSP (came out 2005) on the train... They literally can do nothing right

[@mikeexits]

Better Call Saul captured that time period infinitely better

[@gokaury]

And that is Sony's own product too.

[@animeangel1983]

Hey now those writers were probably not even ALIVE in 2003 so how can they know?

[@n4ughty_knight]

Guys, guys, guys, forget about dates and stuff like that. Madame Web can project the future into the past! No explanation needed!

[@Metzwerg74]

@@animeangel1983 research.... research.... like they played that song "toxic" that actually came out 2004....

[@geeky_gunner]

I was forced to watch the first 50shades with ex partner. How this woman got another acting role is way beyond me.

[@KE-yq2eg]

You know how. It's all about her gender, not her acting skills.

[@phillipjohnson4156]

yes we get it, your gay, good for you

[@bobertkallahan4392]

She’s hot. She has mediocre acting chops. She ain’t gonna give us a Kathy Bates Misery performance but she looks good enough for fake geeky rich shot-callers to want her in their universe 😂

[@raylobaina8511]

Her parents have influence in the industry 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@manifestbruhlol]

​@@phillipjohnson4156??????

[@zeroryuj6093]

"we set it in 2003 so we could have the song Toxic" - ok but why? There no rule that says you can't use older music in a movie..Guardians of the Galaxy is technically in the future and a majority of the soundtrack is from the 70's. Setting your entire movie back in time so you can use period music might be the dumbest reasoning I've ever heard. Use what ever music you want man..

[@OsellaSquadraCorse]

I mean Back to the Future even did it in reverse...

[@AbstractM0use]

The only time it bothers me is when they put modern music in a period or historical piece. Otherwise, if it's modern times, use whatever music you can.

[@user-zq6sz2cr6g]

​@@AbstractM0use Do NOT watch A Knight's Tale...

[@TheBanshee90]

The boys are back in town!

[@threestars2164]

lmao

[@Lord_Baphomet_]

I work at a children’s hospital and usually we receive Marvel and DC promotional gear for free to give to the terminal wing… the kids haven’t taken anything from the carts… they tell us the same thing “Do you have Ironman? What about Batman? Can I have a Barbie? Why don’t you guys have Spider-Man anymore?” It’s honestly heartbreaking.

[@LaloSalamancaGaming69]

If it was me i would literally give my money so kids can have toys from actual heroes 😭 They dont deserve this

[@stupidjonathan]

Omg you should tell Dakota dumdum that her movie killed some cancer kids

[@DerpASherpa117]

6 year old kid with terminal leukemia: "Yes, I would rather die than have you hand me a Captain Marvel or She-Hulk action figure."

[@VladRadu-tq1pg]

not what he said at all...@@DerpASherpa117

[@samuelmiller8821]

No one terminally ill would want to watch this nor should they. Crap like what marvel has put out on Disney plus etc..causes terminal illness. This was actually in theaters and not on disney plus only? Lolz

[@keithmichael112]

It's interesting that Madame Web knew how Uncle Ben was going to die, but chose to do nothing about it

[@Lucas-gg8ik]

Its a canon event

[@someguyontheinternet2399]

Peter needs his origin story.

[@Tential1]

Or stop herself from getting paralyzed or whatever happened, I don't care.

[@alejandroangel998]

It was supposed to happen, canon event.

[@endoetz]

it's an absolute point. just like christine's death.

[@SFalconii]

I think when they hire writers that literally never read a comic and have no idea what’s goin on and don’t use source material to help is the problem

[@Rugmunchersauce3]

It's one of them.

[@Gordonfreeman551]

That’s the MAIN problem

[@thomasway0320]

Oh and believe me they are fucking *PROUD* of that choice

[@mattgohlke8216]

They literally look for writers that are completely unaware of the source material. Like... on purpose.

[@liamphibia]

Sucks to be them

[@richardwilson230]

"You don't have to know anything about anything.".. Dakota Johnson just summed up her entire life.

[@jdp2571]

Gottem

[@IRedpunk]

The perfect picture of a nepo baby indeed

[@DeflatingAtheism]

We have Mary Elizabeth Winstead at home.

[@judgedrekk2981]

funny enough if her family was coal miners or lumberjacks we'd never know she got the job due to nepotism....just food for thought and a baby wipe...breath mint for your butt cheeks...

[@AceonIce]

She's pretty hot tho

[@thebigpig2364]

I've just devolved into apathy. Not just this movie, but for every release. I don't care, I won't watch it.

[@vernonwilliford2480]

Star Wars level apathy?

[@thebigpig2364]

Idek what Star Wars is up to. Nor do I care.

[@knabdank]

same im done with new content, been reading older azimov novels and watching old shows/movies its much better that way then getting angry trying to find something to watch and seeing nothing but hot dogshit an dpropaganda.

[@zomkino]

Yeah, but that's the problem, after apathy comes acceptance. and i refuse to make this a reality for all future movies and games...

[@vernonwilliford2480]

@@knabdank that’s insulting to dogshit.

[@paulmurgatroyd6372]

That producer was so nervous and frightened. "We didn't see any backstory, as we didn't look, so we had to ruin the whole thing ourselves."

[@michaellee8815]

I saw this movie tonight just to see how bad it could possibly be… wow.. WOW. 100% the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Dakota Johnson is an absolute VOID of charisma and talent and screen presence. Villain a joke. Dialogue atrocious. Why am I even bothering. Straight up failure in EVERY aspect

[@lofi_bonsai]

I haven’t seen this movie but have you seen The Beekeeper? I swear the script was AI generated

[@tron1179]

Haha I just did this tonight, the ending was the most cringe thing I’ve ever seen. Almost like they aimed to make it as dumb and cheesy as possible.

[@tron1179]

@@lofi_bonsaitrue haha but at least the beekeeper was constant action and had some funny scenes the way he killed people. This movie was just flat out bad and had barely any action scenes.

[@fortynine3225]

Must be so angry because there are no gays in it.

[@mylivingsky]

Thx, now I have no need to return to where i left off. (I watched no more than 10 min.) 😊

[@EllieBenson17]

“I’ll do anything” we know, Dakota. You did the 50 shades franchise.

[@jessemacarthur9124]

I actually didn't know that. That explains the intro...Sidney Sweeney was mentioned by Chris Gore as having a proclivity for showing more than necessary. Wow. Just...wow.

[@doublep1980]

Don´t worry, she´s the daughter of Don Johnson ( Miami Vice) and Melanie Griffith, plus Antonio Banderas is her step father.

[@brucebezold2714]

50 strands of webbing

[@LuisSierra42]

She fine af ngl

[@Instinct3000x]

Savage 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Rob-uv6fb]

Mythological indigenous Peruvian Mexican Spidermen sounds like a way more interesting movie, like seriously.

[@korosuke1788]

Actually, make her sing like Yma Sumac and use the triple coloratura to ecolocate enemies.

[@TuberoseKisser]

I would love a story like that tbh, there's a lot to work with on that.

[@Victoria-_]

IKR!

[@jeffh9630]

Until you see them in action in this movie.

[@crosswiz6]

1000%

[@EscargoBay]

Those interviews at the beginning were hilarious. Imagine getting a multi million dollar acting role and not being able to devote a single weekend to watching any of the source movies.

[@chriswhite2151]

They probably told her not to. There is no relationship between this and those movies, other than the word "Web" in the title to fool Spiderman fans. You know, like all the Disnry Star Wars movies

[@marcogenovesi8570]

everybody in these movies is told to not watch not read not do anything with source material

[@GovernorStaten]

History is being unwritten.

[@NTJedi]

Normal citizen who is offered a a multi million dollar acting role... will read the parent comics and comics first arrival of their characters, read the most popular books, watch the cartoon versions, read online opinions of the character then practice behavior of the character before meeting with the director. Hollywood Actress who is offered a a multi million dollar acting role... will just wing it while not having any interest in the character.

[@britishwordplay4335]

​@@NTJediThey blow

[@liammacdonald-hi8rd]

Dakota Johnson, can't even name one Spiderman..? In the tomhalland movies...? Bruh... This clearly shows how far marvel has fallen... Hell, if they can go even more deeper than before, is beyond me at this point.... 0:12

[@cherrybubly1774]

Releasing it on Valentine's Day while there's nothing else new to watch in theaters was literally the smartest thing they did with this movie

[@radrobd123]

The Bob Marley movie was released on the same day

[@Allie-w1l]

So couples could cuddle at home instead of seeing a movie.

[@patrickday4206]

Bob Marley sounds good

[@Rucnas]

Plus, people watch the movie because of Sydney Sweeney.

[@Godzillafan78]

pretty glad they released it this early in the year

[@JohannRosario1]

“Indigenous Peruvian Mexicans”. As a Hispanic I almost fell off my seat! 😂

[@protorhinocerator142]

As opposed to all those non-indigenous Peruvian Mexicans. They all know karate.

[@TheWarmachine375]

@@protorhinocerator142 And they learned it from their masters of Nigeria.

[@n4ughty_knight]

Spanish Speaking Hispanic (SSH) or Latin Based Latino (LBL)? 🧐

[@LazarusSlade]

Played by Jewish actors!

[@zerocool5395]

I'm from Chile, and I don't get it lol.

[@malikot63]

Damn that intro had me thinking I clicked the wrong link 😅

[@chriskelley7979]

I'm in a grocery store and in a panic, I turned the volume down. The women looked at me strange, the guys laughed. 😅

[@matthewjones2513]

Yeah, but you stuck around. We all did.

[@unenown7082]

​@@chriskelley7979Holy shit😭😭 that really did come outta nowhere. Rip man o7

[@SamanthaBoooooooo]

​@@chriskelley7979Why on Earth would you click on a video in a grocery store without headphones 😅

[@Hipnochestra]

Same lol

[@eyisgaming9921]

We didn’t ask for this dumpster fire of a movie. When I saw the trailer, I immediately said “nope, I’m not watching that shit”. And I’m glad I didn’t waste my time

[@TurboGomez]

You made the right choice 🙏

[@indigomaterie]

In the 80s, those movies where direct-to-video material. Sad that there are no video rental shops anymore.

[@hathatterhat]

All the crap direct to streaming movies is the modern version.

[@gruby970]

direct-to-landfill

[@kanaric]

In the 80s a lot of terrible movies were at the theaters. Direct to video was a 90s thing. VHS tapes in the 80s were expensive af

[@wilford_brimley]

Redbox and Tubi, my man

[@coffeecool5190]

you'd find movies like this in the buget bin at walmart

[@Johnnie-i7f]

Did he just say Madame Web doesn't have a backstory?? These are the people they choose to produce our films because lets be honest they are our films. The fact that he doesn't know Madame Webs backstory says it all. Sad.

[@sexistspaghettios]

This isn't anything new lol. They've been admitting to this for a while now. Actively telling people not to read any of the source materials.

[@RocafellaPlaza]

Her Mother was KILLED, While Researching Spiders In The Jungle

[@floridaman6982]

Not made for me, not my films.

[@DSPsWifesBF]

@@floridaman6982exactly. This isn’t made for me either. Hollywood won’t shut up about inclusivity so I’m curious, who is this movie even made for?

[@DaleBouwman]

The director looks like a rejected lesbian at the annual lesbian convention.

[@r.downgrade5836]

*REMEMBER* If you're the kind of person who looks at these online reviews then goes to the theatre to see the ugliness for yourself first hand, make sure to buy a ticket for a different movie then sneak into the screening. That way, the theatre still gets the money from your patronage, and Hollywood doesn't get to use your ticket purchase for their metrics data to make their product seem better than it is.

[@Rowebot15]

They will spot you pretty easily sitting in an empty theater

[@oldfan4049]

@@Rowebot15 ahah, hilarious XD

[@n4ughty_knight]

Be a man and watch the movie through memes only!

[@TheBlownapart]

I'll wait till someone posts the 144p version to discord

[@J1283-s1k]

Both ruthlessly based and utterly Devillish.

[@astrodidit7118]

One of the actors say she likes her spider-woman, on how she swings and hangs upside down on the web... THEY ALL DO THAT!

[@madambutterfly1997]

Madam Web has plenty backstory, it's just all shit. and to make her the protagonist isn’t realistically possible due to the fact that she has intimate knowledge of the future.

[@DRAXRED]

Yea I saw the trailer and thought maybe it would work until I saw a review it's only a memory or vision 🤔 wtf why would they add a vision as the trailer 😂😂😂

[@magacop5180]

😂 You read her comics?

[@magacop5180]

You are better than me. I’m not spending one dollar on any of these whole comics.

[@AlainBoudard]

I remember old comics Spider-Man from 90's with madame web, and I really couldn't say what she was really, except from this old psycho attached to some device and paralyzed... Yeah, I guess I didn't pay attention enough.

[@Chimeratech_O.D.]

​​@@AlainBoudardThere's 2 depictions of her. The Watcher of all Spidermen is one. The other was pretty forgettable anyway, so nobody knows or cares that much. She really just works as a mystical entity where less is more.

[@NickNapoli]

My favorite part of Madame Web was when she said “I’m going to put some web in your eye.” I was in the edge of my seat.

[@Astares9]

at this point in our culture i cannot discern this meme from reality

[@michaelquaid4679]

Me and the other guy that was in the theater cheered and HUGGED!

[@saltycat662]

Stunning and brave!!

[@jackripper6819]

​@@michaelquaid4679There was another guy in theatre what?????

[@nightcupsncups8278]

that is some god like script writer right there...

[@Necropheliac]

It can’t be understated that this is the same studio that did Ghostbusters (2016). They just don’t learn from their mistakes. They did the exact same thing with Spider-Man.

[@n4ughty_knight]

What makes me sad is that they started so well with Venom and Venom 2 but then threw this trash into the mix...

[@dewanewelch1744]

​@@n4ughty_knightVenom 2 is terrible and Venom was barely ok. Lol

[@Calliegun]

@@n4ughty_knight It's universally known that venom was mediocre at best and venom 2 was just a shit show. Tom hardy doing a funny voice talking to himself was funny for about 2 minutes..

[@n4ughty_knight]

@@Calliegun Is it? I thought Venom was great because instead of being a woke pile of shit like the other super hero movies at that time, it had it's own vibe. It was like Spider-Man but without the wokrness. Venom 2 was good too because it did the impossible: It added diversity without the wokeness!!!

[@n4ughty_knight]

@@dewanewelch1744 Nuh uh!

[@andrewteague114]

"We set it in 2003 so we could play the song Toxic" is honestly fucking hilarious

[@darthcerebrus5074]

The fact they have over 60 years of stories already written,story boarded and ready to go is ridiculous enough.The utter stupidity comes in when they DON'T USE ANY OF IT!!What the hell is wrong with these people?This is like being given a map to a billion dollar treasure in your backyard and going out to rent a backhoe to dig up a yard 3 houses down the street.

[@NotTheStinkyCheese]

easy answer : It's the "not written by us" syndrom. Or more specifically : "not written by a female and/or female worshipping neutered male"

[@firehot006]

I honestly can't work out why this is either. Comics are literally all about the story, and yet the just do their own crap instead.

[@coolioso808]

Yeah, it really is crazy they don't use source material that is just lying there ready for them to use. I mean Harry Potter films pretty much just took the Harry Potter books and re-created them into films and they did very well at the box office. There is a disconnect in Hollywood and what the people want. There have been some good films in the last 10+ years but that has been few and far between. I think there is far too much content out there. Not much of it is being made with heart and respect for the original ideas. It is still very Corporate controlled. That's not a good thing for creative control. I've personally been very disinterested in watching new films since Avengers: Endgame and a few films after that. I have a older movie watch list that I'm more interested in going through and see no point in wasting time or money on new films. You would think Hollywood would learn their lessons from box office bombs after bomb. But maybe they have to learn the hard way, like 5 years after everybody else could see it.

[@alysssabear]

@@coolioso808💯

[@dampestfrog]

The point was to burn down our past and rewrite it how they pleased. Never about the money.

[@Shirou_Emiya380]

"6 Day opening weekend" That's not how weekends work.

[@andrewcarlton6196]

Well Antman 3 had a 500 million 2 month opening weekend. Best in history

[@emaldon7]

What universe they live in where the weekend is 6 days?

[@ThrowAway-s1c]

Words no longer have meaning

[@marcogenovesi8570]

2 day weekends are racist

[@marcogenovesi8570]

@@emaldon7 an universe of cope

[@UltraGalaxyify]

My ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PART of Madame Web was when I didn't go see it and instead went and saw Godzilla -1 for the literal fourth time in theaters with my girlfriend edit: WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE SO MANY LIKES?!

[@HepCatJack]

Madame Web knew you were going to do that.

[@Ewil.Bluetooth]

Good call

[@NTJedi]

Godzilla !!!!

[@protorhinocerator142]

My favorite part was when I was completely unaware it was released in theaters.

[@juniperstardust5549]

I always read a comment that to me was the comment of the day, you fellow human have won the internet today.

[@Fenrirmaster30]

With Dakota Johnson now being Madame Web, I can't wait till Disney makes the announcement of Riley Reid as Gwen Stacey in the next Spider-Man movie!

[@phillipjackson3498]

Riley Reid as Gwen Stacy, REALLY??????

[@mikekrichel4781]

Well I would watch that 😝

[@MSgt5J071]

OK, I have to show my ignorance here: Who is Riley Reid?

[@Fenrirmaster30]

@@MSgt5J071 a porn star lol

[@RithwikVadul]

bro she fukin pronstar i jut google serched now my dad will think i waatch that bad stuff

[@bruce_just_]

“Don’t ask questions, just consume product and then get excited for next product” Jay Bauman

[@Drako9823]

Such a good take by Jay. I love RLM

[@inconnu3996]

In the comics, Madame Web was a blind old woman with psychic powers who sat in a chair in the middle of a giant spider web She was also a dead ringer for Aunt May She was a 4th rate character at best and why they made a movie about her, when the character in the movie isn't even close to her, I cannot fathom Who's next, Willie Lumpkin?

[@ianweir3608]

Really, you can't fathom why they pushed a superhero movie starring three, empowered females, who defeat the make antagonist, who was really just scared of said females all along?

[@cheesecake7159]

Actually the comic's madame web can be interesting story

[@wilford_brimley]

Flash Thompson. Not the Venom version of him either. Literally Flash Thompson as a regular guy who peaked in high school football living at home working a crappy job.

[@Samtheman798]

​@@cheesecake7159but nobody cares, interesting story this, potential this blah blah blah, madame web sucked in the comics too, people don't care for literally d-list charecters unless they have an incredible concept, I mean what's next? A freaking condiments king movie? And yes that's an actual villain

[@digitalfantasies4570]

​@@Samtheman798 I mean madame web is an incredible concept when used correctly though? Shes literally the female counterpart to Miguel from across the spider-verse, a watcher of the multiverse who puts together teams of different spidermen to take down multiversal villians and repair damages to the multiverse. Even condiment king and big wheel could make for interesting movie villains if handled correctly, the same way the spot is a d list villain and is now the villain of a film that made half a billion dollars.

[@Bigfish19692008]

The bad guy is killed by product placement. OMG. That is fucking hilarious.

[@marcogenovesi8570]

Pepsi is more heroic than this girl

[@Knight_Kin]

PEPSI MAAAAAAAAAAM!

[@hobothingman7139]

@@Knight_Kin Now that's a movie worth the time and money.

[@RagnarokiaNG]

​@@hobothingman7139 The Pepsi drinking guy is a more charismatic and enthusiastic actor than anyone phoning in these "performances" in Hollywood for years.

[@John_Caravella]

Hilarious and lazy.

[@curtismcdonald6838]

Isn’t Johnson the same chick who was in 50 Shades Of Grey? I hope you weren’t expecting extraordinary acting. No surprise that the acting sucked.

[@shadowbeast2276]

Yes that's her

[@CookieManCookies]

She'll do anything, except honor the source material. Gosh, the world we live in.

[@kanaric]

I don't really care about source material at all like not even slightly because comics are just dumb fun to me but ya at least make something watchable.

[@cykogamer6369]

Actually, she immediately fired her agents the first week of the trailer. She publicly announced how ashamed she is about doing the movie at all, knowing how bad it is and how horrible Hollywood is doing

[@heavymack9477]

@@kanaricthe only way it will be watchable is if they stay wth source material just a lil maybe

[@Lintahlo]

Not really her fault though, blame the writers and director.

[@above.average.gaming.natio3026]

@@cykogamer6369 buuuullsheeeeeeeeeeeet

[@jeframdenkar]

Watching Dakota during her interviews is physically painful.

[@pattyo4703]

You are correct. Dakota gives a cringetastic interview.

[@9FlyingDutchman]

Turns out her acting in the SNL Big Dumb Cup skit is just her I guess--

[@bnanney11]

She actually seems pretty funny. Like she doesn't care about all this at all, just happy to work.

[@GreatUSTreasureHunt]

I think she's hilarious, when you watch it from the point of view that she absolutely knows this is a shitty film and is just reciting the talking points. Her interview with Jimmy Fallon, where she says "you don't have to know *anything* when you see *this* film" and the poison she puts into the word "this" is priceless.

[@RaraThomasthekidabuser]

I actually love her in the interviews it’s like she’s aware it’s a bad movie and she’s a bad actor and just keeps doubling down

[@GreatUSTreasureHunt]

"The movie is set in 2003 so we could use the song Toxic." "Doesn't that song exist today also?" "But our movie is set in 2003."

[@ASoberBear]

As someone that loves 1997-2011 I get it. 😮‍💨 however yes, you are correct.

[@JDB10213]

I was looking for this! 🤣

[@MSgt5J071]

Another commentor said the song Toxic wasn't released until January 2004. WTF?

[@LibrasReact]

Why does Dakota sound like she is always trying too hard to have a "sultry" sounding voice?

[@jaysonraphaelmurdock8812]

Or she's holding in a huge poop.

[@LibrasReact]

@JooT00b-bm1ms omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@YegRon]

“I didn’t spend two minutes googling the source material, so therefore, there is no background story.”

[@Black_Sun_Dark_Star]

it took 4 scriptwriters to write this crap?! Is that why WGA ask for a bunch of them to be in any given project?

[@QueenAleenaFan]

The worst part is is that any one of them would probably do a better job alone just because too many cooks in the kitchen

[@LaloSalamancaGaming69]

The writers strike was just them showing how greedy they are

[@stupidjonathan]

Totally! Fuck these Hollywood nerds making money off of knowing about comics kind of. It should us incels getting those checks. Where are you guys sending your scripts anyway??

[@RyanConway602]

I thought that. 4 ? You don't have 4 people to drive a car.

[@RyanConway602]

@@QueenAleenaFan lol !

[@ianjohnson182]

The actresses showing up on the red carpet looking as hot as humanly possible is just a massive FU from them to everyone who made they look so ugly in the movie.

[@DaftBrian1]

“bUt iT mAkEs tHeM moRE rElaTAbLe”

[@GoersEdits]

Theyre jealous and hate these actresses that they have to use lmao

[@jaja2084]

Low key hilarious af

[@stormryder4305]

The director herself look like a hag. Why would she allow any girls to look hot? It's a crime against her insecurity.

[@Hollyclown]

Respect to her.

[@soccerfreek07]

Why was the taxi never reported? How could the same taxi be used for a couple days, stored for a week, then used for a few more days and never get reported or found by police?

[@Lemonlimesublime]

One of my thoughts while watching this movie lol

[@Skitz0frenix]

Because she removed the license plates and left them on the street for anybody to find...... /s They didn't think anything through in this movie 😂😭

[@austin842]

Her getting into the US with no documentation is actually the most realistic part of the movie.

[@VleesetendPlantje14]

If it was set in current day yes 😂

[@dancherry2343]

Bro you have no idea

[@ronintje7647]

Funny how that is considered weird, but the fact the peruvian spidermen who never were in contact with humanity spoke English is completely ignored by Gary🤣

[@JeromeProductions]

lmfao

[@TheAIOfGod]

hahaha that caught me off guard but damn it made me laugh. Good one!

[@maddmaxx5337]

Wait, so the director and actresses said there's no reason to watch the movie? Apparently, it's not the Madame Web from the Spiderman comics. There's no Spiderman, no Black panther, no black widow? Awesome!!! According to all these reasons I have no justification to acknowledge this films existence. 🎉

[@juanchocorleone]

It's Sony... So non canon to anything.

[@stupidjonathan]

I’ve never heard of what you’re talking about Madame Panther? Whatever just give me the Madame Dakota

[@dejanlazickd]

" I watched 15 mins of one Marvel movie"... And producers said "She is the one"

[@charlesmcdowell9436]

They said she is the one because she got that Gooble gawk 3000 😅

[@starmnsixty1209]

Sounds about right.

[@lukylex]

It's utterly baffling how so many people can turn a blind eye to such blatant lack of quality and imagination. From storylines that make no sense to actors completely miscast in their roles, it's like witnessing a train wreck in slow motion. What's even more infuriating is the apparent ignorance or indifference of those involved in the selection process. Do they not see the glaring flaws before giving their stamp of approval? And let's not even get started on the audience who went to see this on opening day, how do you lap up these half-baked ideas like they're gourmet meals?? I can't help but wonder if there are dissenting voices within Hollywood, brave souls who speak up only to be silenced and banished from the industry entirely. It's a chilling thought. And yet, history has shown us time and time again that industries crumble when they ignore the warnings of those they've entrusted to guide them. Just look at the cautionary tales of Blockbuster, Kodak, and Bud Light. It's a sobering reminder that the downfall of titans often begins with a deaf ear turned to their own customers/ Fans

[@LeviFisch]

We now live in a generation where the film critics are more entertaining to watch than the movies themselves. 😂😂😂😂 Always looking forward to a good roast from Nerdrotic

[@zephyrr108]

Same and same!!😂😂

[@reedperry2234]

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. They didn't know what studio they were working for?? How is that possible?

[@keiranmorrisart]

A combination of stupidity, ignorance and incompetence

[@uruloki2758]

DJ couldn't possibly give less of a shit about anything. She's set for life and treats acting almost like a hobby.

[@keiranmorrisart]

Incompetence

[@lokeshr9794]

Stupidity

[@stupidjonathan]

They’re all pretty cloudy from their vegan non gluten CrossFit diets. Basically they’ll do whatever some older frat boy in a suit tells them. Wink wink WHATEVER

[@99Michael]

At this point, the FBI/ FEC needs to investigate this studio for money laundering.

[@lateralus614]

Along with embezzlement

[@tenanaciouz]

lol FBI to busy being a corrupt tool of the elite to arrest people who threathen their illegal power

[@hamhockbeans]

THEY PUT IT IN THER POCKETS 😂😂

[@cliffpostell508]

I've been saying that! Like there is no way these movies cost hundreds of millions of dollars. Somebody is defrauding their investors!

[@slayermill8621]

The FBI is too busy raiding the homes with 30 armed agents of pro-life people who stand outside abortion clinics with signs. That or parents who peacefully express concerns at school board meetings about their kids being given books by teachers about gay sex.

[@DANEgerus]

Dakota Johnson(D) isn't very attractive by Big Screen standards and plays every role with the same detached bored expression that even made 50 Shades of Grey Boring 'Madame Web' sucked... like every movie she's ever done

[@damedan9389]

Madame Webb has no back story? 🤔 As an ACTUAL comic book fan, I know he doesn't know what he's talking about.

[@joshryan155]

When they say stuff like that, what they probably mean is that there hasn't been another movie made prior for the current one to use said "backstory" .

[@central3425]

Or he does and just completely ignores it all

[@n4ughty_knight]

I don't remember her having a backstory. She just appears out of nowhere and does stuff.

[@dcmastermindfirst9418]

Nah ya think?

[@damedan9389]

@@n4ughty_knight then you don't understand the elements of story telling. One such element is exposition, which her backstory was given through. Also, you don't know the definition of the phrase "backstory" either.

[@shanonsnyder9450]

“I’ll do anything” you were in 50 Shades of Grey, so yeah, we know that

[@charliebronson1274]

The Susperia remake was good

[@leftifornian2066]

@@charliebronson1274lmfao

[@unidentifiedvirusfromanunk9195]

Ok I'll do anything to you

[@johnepants]

I mean, I don’t care how many bad movies she does, she can sit on my face if she wants

[@kyotheman69]

oh no wonder she looked familiar, i was forced watch that shit

[@phatymcdaddy]

I feel like i took a wrong turn somewhere in life. Like, i went to the military to work on aircraft, had to goto school there for my job, then went to more school about my job to get a good position in the civilian world doing the job i like. Then there's these writers, who arent even good at their job, clearly have no education in writing nor do they care about it, and they are getting paid significantly more than me

[@hungchoonghow5857]

It's just bad timing for you, and good timing for them but it won't last very long.

[@juanchocorleone]

This makes my mind formulate this legit question: Why are these cretins allowed to keep their jobs and their absurd amount of salaries?

[@ivanhenderson31]

God often blesses those who have the least. I’m in A&D too and yeah…they’ll get what’s coming

[@KuroiRenge]

​@ivanhenderson31 That is not how life works. Sometimes, your life just sucks and your life will always suck no matter how hard you work. Sometimes lazy people will luck their way through life. Life just straight up isn't fair, and it never has ever been fair. That's just the sad reality of the universe. And the most unlucky of all is anyone who spent money on this film.

[@stupidjonathan]

Dude I took a wrong turn in life too. Look at me I’m posting KZbin comments

[@----Jay----]

Pitch Meeting's Madame Web just dropped. I swear, Ryan George must be watching you guys lately! It's a fantastic video hitting all the best owns you've all made recently.

[@Manatouille]

5:04 I’m kind off a normie. But even I, as a kid, read Spider-man comics where Madame Web appeared, so to say that she doesn’t have a backstory is total BS…

[@boobah5643]

If they were willing to use a protagonist that didn't have a backstory, the movie would have starred an original character with an original name. Because legacy names have a _legacy,_ that is to say, backstory.

[@closedinfinity9019]

Respect 😂

[@rmessenger23]

Hollywood uses their own ignorance as a weapon.. Why did Kathleen Kennedy say there’s no source material when Star Wars Legends have dozens of books, comics, and video games? Because stupid is as stupid does...

[@silenceassassin5565]

Make it so bad Madame Web has a blackstory. If the guy read the comics books

[@RipzCritical]

Dudes eyes looks like he's absolutely fucking wired on drugs.

[@anthonywicking4900]

When I was on lithium tablets I spoke exactly like that actress.

[@Film_Sushi]

I have the same impression!

[@MyOcene2834]

I died 🤣🤣🤣

[@11alpha48]

I can't remember the medication, but when I was on an SSRI, I had the same reaction. A lack of affect. It took away the lows, but also the highs, so you felt like you were sleepwalking through life.

[@HarranSoFarAway]

@@11alpha48 that's the evil of it, the years fly by...even suboxone does this, it all numbs your soul

[@maasjoe]

The question is, how long will theatres keep airing it the majority of seats are empty? Won't they be bleeding money on operational costs alone?

[@11alpha48]

As long as they are contractually obligated. I know Disney has a lot of leverage and can force theater chains to give premium screens to its pictures for a certain amount of time, no matter how many seats are actually sold. I'm not sure about Sony.

[@okiedouk]

They'll get a corporate bail out

[@khairi26]

My dad had myasthenia gravis, it sucks. Your muscles slowly deteriorate to the point that eating and drinking become difficult, eventually you can't move your body. There is no cure. They have medicines to delay the onset and help deal with the symptoms. Can do platelet changes every 3 months to slow the progression but inevitably it will kill the person afflicted. I'd never heard of it before either until 4 years ago, but yea it blows. Great review, appreciate the hard work you put into your vids.

[@jesustyronechrist2330]

Dakota Johnson knows she got scammed into this and she's really handling it like a pro, firing her agent and being sarcastic about it. But at that point, being cast into a Marvel movie, Sony or Disney, should ring alarm bells with anyone.

[@OilFreeFeathers]

>ignorantly accepts role >she's a pro Stop.

[@Samtheman798]

​@OilFreeFeathers exactly a real pro wouldn't get scammed in the first place

[@kerrumz1]

She needs to find a new industry to work in. Looks like she knows nothing of what she filmed.

[@ahmadhakim535]

​@@OilFreeFeathers Lmaoo thank you!! Can't believe that there's people defending her💀💀

[@andrewdwyer6462]

She needs Quinton Tarantino, Christopher Nolan, or Martin Scorsese to like, give her a role - in either of their movies 😂😂😂😂 As her latest movies well - Fifty Shades of Grey ( failed ) And now Madame Web - another failure

[@rena4050]

The director looks more like Madame Web in the comic. Maybe she should have exchanged role with Dakota.🤣

[@paulbreen5089]

At least if she was blind there would be some kind of excuse

[@v9productions]

@@paulbreen5089 lmfaoooo

[@GCRAAY]

That’s what I was thinking.

[@BeforeMoviesSucked]

Give Sydney Sweeney the roles she truly deserves. In DC. As Power Girl. Just sayin'

[@YouTubecanbitemyhairybanger]

Or maybe Poison Ivy so she can just be in body paint... If only

[@edu-kt]

She was born for that role.

[@Tential1]

I would absolutely watch that, could I tell you what happened in the movie, probably not but I would watch it

[@NateWilliams-h8q]

A Power Girl movie will never be made. They can't stand the "male gaze", which, if you guys haven't figured it out, is people shaming men for their sexuality. When did that become ok again?

[@TracLack]

👏 rubbing my palms together thinking about it 😂

[@Bob.martens]

Dakota Johnson knows very well what a stinker she's in. I think she handles it quite graciously.

[@TurboGomez]

She brought most of the stink😂

[@MrCovi2955]

"Who's origin story each is being abandoned by their parents." Wait... did they make "daddy issues" into a superhero origin story? That's a little too "my trauma is a superpower" self insert.

[@SammEater]

Daddy issues, again? Do these Hollywood writers have nothing else going on in their lives?

[@patrickday4206]

I have women issues does that make me a superhero 😂😂😮😅😅

[@ComicPower]

How embarrassing. The lead actress doesnt even care. So you know its going to be bad.

[@don.keebles]

Exactly. She couldn't even bother to hype up her own movie. Why should I be hyped to go see it? She's not even that attractive. A solid 6/10, at most.

[@andrescastro5520]

She lost interest after they cut her favorite line where she says, "we be webbing."

[@zombygunslinger]

It is amazing to cast people who have contempt for the genre in a movie written by writers that have no interest in the source material. I get the impression even Johnson isn't able to explain what is going on and also doesn't know what studio hired her.

[@xitaris5981]

Impression? What tipped you off? 😂

[@lotus956]

We should make an all female ghostbusters and see how it does.

[@matty665]

It's so sad watching interviews with actors/actresses and they don't even give a sht about the role their playing.

[@ianthefifth7790]

I think they're trying to let everyone know how terrible it was without saying it directly. They look defeated. I dont blame em honestly

[@brucebezold2714]

They are in for the money Because they know those woke movies won't advance their carrier (hope i spelled it right.) Then support woke crap to get movie deals. Catch 22

[@chezsu]

Those Indigenous Mexican Spidermen speak perfectly English. That should be applauded.

[@juandiegoferro2539]

Indigenous mexican from Perú.

[@kenricnarbrough8191]

gracias hermano, Nerderotic is oblivious to OUR plight.@@juandiegoferro2539

[@PutinTheClown]

Los rancheros araña 🕷️

[@clauaome25]

​@@juandiegoferro2539lmao

[@Ramza1987]

You know very little about the world outside USA if you think Latinamerican people can't speak perfect/almost perfect english.

[@ImmortalTreknique]

9:56 "Super easy, barely an inconvenience"😂 Big up Ryan George! 👊💪

[@mitchchartrand]

Nerdrotic inserting a french Canadian is tight.

[@Camthur1]

I can't understand how an industry could have decades, freaking decades of content for many heroes and teams and still manage to fail so utterly. Not every comic ever made was gold, but the amount to choose from is a vast library. Instead, they'd rather ignore a path that has been well forged and fumble their way through and ruin entire franchises.

[@johnykilroy5521]

He said Madame Webb "has no backstory"....... He really said that...wow!!!! Just wow

[@honkworld9405]

When Madam Web said: "It's Webbing time"... I cried.

[@sooder_fan1630]

Peak cinema

[@mr.awesome6011]

No

[@fercho.7776]

it's undistinguishable, definitely cinema 🧐🍷 🚬🗿

[@RocafellaPlaza]

👏🏼👏🏼 *Standing Ovation* 👏🏼👏🏼

[@hamdinger7145]

The Web connects us all

[@beebob51]

Where do they find these directors and movie producers?..... passed out drunk behind a dumpster at a Barnes and Noble? Throw in 50 Shades of Confused and WHAM!!! Failure.

[@Spanner249]

These people are in a little world of their own. Dakota has been on camera pretty much her whole life. That director lady probably went to a Montessori school and grew up in a wealthy, connected family while pretending she's the oppressed woman.

[@randomplantsandstuff]

Seriously I am so looking forward to Sora AI models to make all these hollywood writers obsolete. They can go back to being drunk behind a dumpster at a Barnes and Nobles where they belong.

[@yetanotherspuart3993]

University.

[@yetanotherspuart3993]

University.

[@jalzate]

Indigenous Peruvian Mexican? Is that like an Indigenous American Salvadorian?

[@thee_morpheus]

We have to put an end to Hollywood nepotism, sick of these talentless, soulless, dead-eye zombies being sold as movie stars these days

[@southernstar4353]

Why are you being so antisemitic

[@Dead_Kerbal]

@@southernstar4353 Dafuk you talking about? Why in the world would you see any sort of ''social agenda'' on his most valid opinion? Seems to me that you are kinda ... projecting...

[@southernstar4353]

@@Dead_Kerbal you're not as aware as you think you are bud

[@Dead_Kerbal]

@@southernstar4353 You sure sound to be the ideal person to evaluate such a thing, considering you know jack and shit about me, and that your comment already gave a glimpse on what to expect from you.

[@Dead_Kerbal]

@@southernstar4353 Furthermore...do you even know what ''nepotism'' even means?!

[@masonlemen3215]

R.I.P. Gary. You will be missed

[@vespenegas261]

Such an unfortunate and gruesome demise at the hands of his wife, but let's be frank here -- he should've known better.

[@maxmazzotti6651]

CAUSE WE’RE BORING!!!

[@Felipe_XIV-XVI]

I didn't understand that. What happened??

[@DeflatingAtheism]

She stuck with him through jail, but Madame Web was a bridge too far.

[@caesarjergens]

If only he was clairvoyant. Should have travelled to Peru instead of Yorkshire Gary.

[@PhattyBolger]

So the one reason they set this film in 2003 is so they could include Toxic by Britney Spears, a song released in 2004.

[@ZyliceLiddell]

It just makes sense for Disney! 🙄

[@hope-cat4894]

The song was a premonition, too, I guess. ​@ZyliceLiddell

[@threestars2164]

lol

[@nix98zlcy]

Hate to be that guy, but the song was indeed released in 2003

[@PhattyBolger]

@@nix98zlcy it was recorded in 2003, it was released in 2004.

[@allthecolors6900]

I actually went and saw this movie..... TERRIBLE. It could have been way way better but lazy writing, lazy editing, lazy sequencing and action scenes... I mean.... Dakota Johnson didnt even try to get in shape for this role. At least Scarlet Johansson got fit and ready for her role as Black Widow. But the fact that Madame Web didnt even attempt to tie in the Spiderverse was a huge downfall. I think fans initially were excited because they were hoping this film would help expand the Spiderverse.

[@jakobbraun5180]

spiderman - alone with uncle buck spiderman - alone home spiderman - alone in new york

[@Richforce1]

"Worst comic book movie of the year." The year is far from over, it can ALWAYS get worse.

[@tagir9123]

Don't give them any ideas, man! 10½ months of crap to come!

[@don.keebles]

It out-morbed Morbius. I would have to be morbidly curious to see what could be worse than this. I would probably lose my morbles.

[@topdogg1231]

Can it tho 😥

[@afanofpeanuts7381]

Just not possible

[@nalublackwater9729]

At long last, someone snatched the "worst superhero movie" award from Green Lantern's hands. Wait... LAST VIDEO????

[@wackynwild980]

You're the only one I can see who caught this in the comments. I'm sure it's a joke? I have no clue. It was just dropped and the video ended.

[@360lootgoon3]

It’s a joke, referring to the poll he conducted that said he should be “set on fire” for taking his wife to see madame weeb.

[@360lootgoon3]

@@wackynwild980yes, it’s a joke, about the poll he did saying he should be “set on fire” for taking the wife to see this disaster.

[@TheFredmac]

He should have closed out with Midnight Oil "Beds are Burning".

[@nalublackwater9729]

@@360lootgoon3 Hahaha! Oh gosh, it flew over my head XDDD Man, I'm slow today...

[@BookSquirrelUK]

Dakota’s inner monologue during those interviews, “I hate my agent. I hate my agent. I hate my agent.”

[@ComposedSage75]

Madame Web: A Guide to how to make Morbius look Oscar worthy 🕸

[@Blestyr]

Jared Leto right now: "My time is now."

[@vitorfrota940]

The funniest shit ever is that this was released on valentine's day and even couples who just want a quiet place to make out didn't even bother going to this flick. I think they were afraid that the boringness of the movie would stick and make them not want to have sex after.

[@AWelshEnglishman]

I really don’t understand how Dakota Johnson has an acting career, a yeast infection has more screen presence.

[@niggardlylad2008]

She's the daughter of Don Johnson,hope that answered it for you..

[@nick1635]

Two famous actors for parents is the one and only reason. She can't act or promote a movie to save her life.

[@manicmonochrome7098]

Nepotism.

[@brockdavid]

Her parents are old school Hollywood actors. She’s a nepot-baby.

[@user-zq6sz2cr6g]

​@@nick1635 And a famous grandmother, too.

[@areacode911]

HOW IN THE WORLD they chose a lady who couldn't even name the spiderman movies. OMG

[@Didymus20X6]

Disney hired Taika Waititi to do Thor, and offered him a Star Wars film. He didn't even know who Padme Amidala was. AND SHE WAS IN HIS THOR FILM.

[@calwooten]

not sure why knowing nothing about the source material is seen as a virtue at disney. The contempt for the characters and story is palpable. correction: not disney, sony

[@Tential1]

Every time she strings together a sentence about this movie she sounds happy and surprised about it. it's hilarious

[@ChiefGore429]

This isn't Disney it's Sony. That crap is everywhere

[@Snowqueenelsaofficial992]

​​@@Tential1It's probably because it's the first time she is using words and stringing them together into sentences if you can call them sentences

[@ArdenCF]

this has absolutely NOTHING to do with Disney.

[@PraktikoolSinik]

I was thinking about that just as I read the comment. My thought was... If it's the actors, it's fine. Many don't even watch their own movies. With the creators though, it's intolerable.

[@chrisw6164]

Madame Web is an old lady who looks like Aunt Spider-May and you can’t change my mind.

[@OnlyPretending]

I was unable to see godzilla-1 in cinema because it was not being shown anywhere near me, but this shit is running on the big screen 24/7 with nobody signing up to watch 😂

[@TheEverSoTalented]

The actor playing Ezekiel was told Sony were taking the P out of him.. I think he mistakenly misheard as HE was taken out by a 'P' haha!

[@The_Truth_Logic]

And yet, this will arguably pale in comparison to Disney’s overall back to back failures that have come and are yet to come.

[@cancel.lgbtq.6892]

50 shades of Madame Web...

[@A.Z.S.GXZ777]

I love your user name.

[@thetwikikid4444]

Why did Axel Braun retire? He could’ve nailed a parody of this film.Maybe even doing a mashup with 50 Shades 😂😂😂😂

[@jameshurley776]

The Bob marley movie is doing better than madame web

[@Ghostleeee]

It’s bob

[@khalidahmed8402]

It’s Bob Marley, the guy is a fucking legend

[@danelynch7171]

There is a bob Marley movie? I had no idea. That's sad that it's beating this trash can flick.

[@stephenthomas1492]

Another half-white guy never getting credit for that part of him.

[@EndellionQT]

It was predicted to do better so no surprises there.

[@headhnter]

This sums it! I'm gonna blacklist all SJ Clarkson directed movies! Can't even believe I remember her name with this sole reason!!