OCD3: What is Sexual Orientation OCD (previously called Homosexual OCD / HOCD)?

[@erinmedina7072]

I'm so glad I'm not alone. Reading to y'alls comments feels extremely accurate. Already 2 years and it's still a never ending cycle.

[@Mobtheboss-]

Joaquim Esguerra I hate this shit me man just wanna go back to me normal life

[@ggclipz4515]

I fell like I’m judging my myself because this is very serious and I have it and what’s going on in the world it can’t help I’m just not the only person who feels this way I keep repeating phrases over and over and I also lose interest in things it is a never ending hell bro I fucking hate this shit

[@ggclipz4515]

Connor12 R1333 same here I was a normal 12 year old and now I’m so fucking depressed

[@slammeriversondougherty2689]

@@keroppi4224 hey if I stop watching porn will it go away and make me love women truly again

[@slammeriversondougherty2689]

@@ggclipz4515 me too man

[@girlinthesouth850]

This video is such a relief to me

[@tatimd7252]

Sometimes my hocd makes me feel like I’m bisexual and I feel there’s something wrong about that even know I’m straight

[@slomolex682]

Tati MD I know how you feel..I feel the same way..I am def looking for friends to share my concerns ..my optimisms and to.meet and hopefully gain a few OCD aka pure o friends..I believe it's in our deepest struggles true friends can rise to the surface that's what I would like to gain despite how this has ruined my life and reputation

[@soumyaray1057]

I have this and i think its from being rejected by nearly everysingle girl i ve liked. But there was a girl a few years ago who gave me a chance but later i found out she just felt sorry for me and it just killed a part of my being to the core. I could not getaway from this horrible feeling for nearly 3 months everyday wanting to end my life. And thats when this groinal response occurrs around the same sex, and the exact opposite occurrz around the opposite sex its similiar to having genital retraction its like it will get small and hard and its embarrassing.because it ma k es me look gay, sex offender, pedophilte. Which i am obviously not but it haz made my life a living hell. Im the laughing stock p eoplr call me vile names, laugh at me, humilate me. Its the worse thing that has ever happened to me. What makes t his type of hocd different is that i know that im straight but the reaction of my unconscious gives others the lie and not the truth. L etz just say going out o n a date is not hapoening

[@thegrimm9383]

I know how horrible it can feel. Whenever I'm rejected by a girl or I​ go out with a girl and it doesn't work out it really triggers my HOCD and I get intrusive thoughts that I shouldn't be with girls even though I've had happy and successful relationships with them in the past. Just stay strong and push on man, HOCD likes to warp and mess with your thoughts and memories until you can't even remember who you are anymore. And remember that there's someone out there for everyone and you'll find the right girl eventually.

[@vzlan999]

Soumya Ray dude the retraction is a symptom of rejection. Be worried if it was a boner.

[@vzlan999]

This may sound reassuring but not every groinal response has to do with sex, sometimes it's just activation, and of course when you are anxious and hypervigilant about down there chances are you'll create one. But then again they can happen with anything

[@kevinjohnsloan1157]

This really made me cry I struggled with this for years & thought I was going mad wish I saw this video 10 years ago

[@enriquecastillo7487]

Hello just wondering how you are doing now.. I believe I also have this , and it has bothered me since I was in high school around 2012

[@Paulo-ko7mc]

@@enriquecastillo7487 Have u tried to have sex with men ? What does give u a boner ?

[@enriquecastillo7487]

@@Paulo-ko7mc can we talk elsewhere

[@Paulo-ko7mc]

@@enriquecastillo7487 Yes. Do u have skype ? if u do give me

[@enriquecastillo7487]

@@Paulo-ko7mc no I dont , I'm confused man it's not simple answer...

[@calebbaker6423]

And then I’ll watch these videos and be temporarily relieved and then I question myself even harder

[@Hehe-dy9pk]

Caleb Baker same

[@ashleydeshazo4122]

I felt the same way, too. While I'm still learning how to overcome to compulsion of researching the topic, I have learned that the urge to research it and to watch stuff like this becomes a compulsive behavior, which is why we only manage to get a little big of relief for a short period of time.

[@Hehe-dy9pk]

Ashley DeShazo How long have had it?

[@calebbaker6423]

Hehe I’m getting a lot better and I’ve had it a little over 2 months

[@calebbaker6423]

Hehe erp is key

[@AlexanderTheBloodraven]

Here are a few important rules you need to know Rule Number One: If you say you’re heterosexual, you are. Period. Rule Number Two: There are no other rules.

[@lusine9886]

yess i saw this in an article

[@kaiyo9871]

Wdym

[@kaiyo9871]

@Atlus Avalon what if u cant get hard to girl or a boy 🤣

[@falazarte]

Why?? Just because you say I am an Alíen that doesn't mean you are. You are who.you are.and if you go against it you will suffer the consequences

[@__ghostland__]

Explain pls

[@jorgeflores-lt8jt]

I’m going through the same and I’m only 17. This all happened so fast. I ain’t gay nor bi, but it happened when my thoughts just decided to ask me,”Hey, what if your gay?” I totally freaked out. I’ve been dealing with HOCD for the past month. Everyday I’m trying to get past this fear. Trying to control my thoughts. I know who I really I am deep down within me. I’m straight and I don’t freak out when I say that. I’ve tested myself multiple times, never once have I felt sexually active around men or that. When I think of girl, well you obviously know I get active for that. I’ve always fantasize myself with having kids and a wife because I’ve always wanted a life like that. The only I overcome my fear of becoming gay is when I think of this girl who I’m falling for. I don’t know what it is, but when I think of her...everything just makes sense. When I think of her, I know who I am. I’m straight and I’m proud to say that I am. I have nothing against gay, lesbian, nor bi people. I feel happy for those type of people because that’s what makes them happy. I have some close friends who are bi, gay, and lesbian. I never got uncomfortable amongst them. Especially gay people, as long as they wouldn’t do that type of gay things around me. Besides that, I’m happy for those people, because they know who they are. Those of us who are suffering from HOCD, it’s ok. You’re a 100% straight. It’s just your thoughts playing tricks with you. Don’t fall for it. If you know your true sexuality, than don’t worry. That’s who you are. Just pray to God and everything will be alright. Go out and distract yourself from your thoughts. Go get a job. Go out with your family. I guarantee you, you’ll get over this fear. When I started having HOCD, everyday was like hell for me because I didn’t like having these unwanted thoughts because they tried so hard to convince me that I am gay. I’m not. I have some guy friends that I do care about, but I’ve never established feelings for them like that. By the time you finish reading this, understand that it’s just your thoughts playing games with you. Don’t fall for it. You know who you are. I have trouble at times, trying to say correct things in my head like,”I’m straight. Understand that.” Sometimes my thoughts get the best of me, but I don’t let myself. If you read this, you are 100% straight. I guarantee you, you are. Just relax yourself, try to control your thoughts and emotions.

[@adrianvq3581]

jorge flores thank you for this. this is what i needed to hear. i been suffering from this for about 3 months and thought i was going crazy

[@DwyaneWadeCounty]

I think part of it might be because some people, bad people, try to gaslight you into thinking that you actually are. When I was a kid, all the kids spread a nasty rumor about me, that I took a shit in the pool. I never did. I maintained that I never did even providing reasonable facts as to why I didn't do it. But they just kept on, and on, until I just broke, and I was thinking, "maybe I did do it", which gave me tremendous anxiety. But my brother and friends, reassured me, "Bro, we were there with you all the time, you didn't do it". So you see, maybe it also has to do with outside influences too.

[@Froggboii69]

cool men! you are mature for your age! i was on a verge of suicide but i decided to confront these fears and doubts. i hope to be healed from these thoughts that i don't want in my head. I'll pray for everyone who suffers it!!! Let us all get healed together!!

[@flowerbloom5782]

@@DwyaneWadeCounty definitely. When I was younger, girls and boys would tease me that i was gay but I never listened to them. Until 2 years ago, my brain started to question "what if they were right?" I'm still struggling with hocd (I'm afraid that I'm actually bisexual or gay and that I have been living a lie) Though I know I'll be searching for mental help soon! I want to take back control of my thoughts and get rid of this torment. Your experience reminds me of my situation.

[@rasheedpagorogon8620]

Thanks 😢

[@lewisharwood3870]

I feel anxious when I hear the word gay. I just don't understand why that happens. I opened up to my friend this morning and I felt no relief.

[@nathanvanpraag28]

Infinite Mayhem i have the exact same problem, my hard is beating faster and i start to feel very bad

[@lunalovegood.8425]

Same

[@mypackmypower1996]

Dont ever do that mistake again. Friends are the worst kind of people you will ever see on the face of earth it seems like they are friend and will understand but believe me they dont and instead they will make your condition worse by saying idiotic things and will tell everyone else that you are a weirdo.

[@brunopeixe7949]

@@nathanvanpraag28 That is normal , I went through the same thing , it went away when I accepted that , yeah , maybe I'm gay and went about with my life

[@skullxwrapper9968]

colonel- yaki so you basically accepted being gay even though your not

[@AlexanderTheBloodraven]

HOCD can also make you think you’re in love with someone of the same sex when you’re actually. Increased heartbeat can easily be caused by anxiety and stress, both of which are pretty much the entirety of what HOCD is.

[@jadalidakroub288]

@@Bletze it is just hocd man don’t worry.

[@jesse8160]

That part is what gets me

[@NicolasLopezHerrera]

Do you ever get a feeling like you are actually liking it, or like you get red on the face or something?

[@Dub_97]

It definitely cannot make you think your in love with someone of the same sex 😂😂😂😂 just makes you over think every little thing if this or that is gay. And you fear of that because you don’t wanna be gay.

[@NicolasLopezHerrera]

@@Dub_97 Im glad you never experience that man, but in all honesty this disorder can do pretty much anything

[@dyl-dyl]

I’ve been dealing with this for 2 months now. I don’t even feel any attraction to any dude but this annoying HOCD keeps on. I can’t even enjoy talking to cute girls anymore because of it. I’m so sick of it. I can’t even enjoy watching sports anymore because it has guys in it. I know I am straight and have no attraction to dudes. This is stressing me out so much

[@mrshadow7738]

@Jake Pasotti right so how I deal with it is literally imaging myself being gay or acting gay but I over exaggerate it and laughter at myself doing it. Make yourself a laughing stock when imagining you doing this for a few mins a day. After normalising this it will help you cope with this. I'm straight and it has helped so far. Good luck and enjoy taking the piss out of yourself being gay. I hope this helps.

[@mr.hithere4346]

MrShadow something I worry about is when ppl say to accept these thoughts, or like you said imagine it, it makes it sound like I just gotta accept being gay even tho I’m not like.. wtf I need help

[@Mobtheboss-]

MrShadow how you coping now bro, been trying that and it’s working temporarily but keeps coming back, all I want is to be happy again with my girl

[@Tj-du4mj]

Ik man

[@tjkeegan470]

@@Mobtheboss- are you any better?

[@frenchfries3529]

I'll get out of this and get my happy STRAIGHT life back . In God's name, Amen.

[@Only1omer]

Yes man hocd can’t change your sexuality it’s like a pen lifting a elephant under intense gravity

[@UnKnown-hl4ev]

Don’t plan on it. It’s okay to be gay yk.

[@Only1omer]

@@UnKnown-hl4ev I’m Muslim and you know Islam doesn’t accept it not trying to disrespectful just believing in my religion

[@dacariwhitehead7971]

Amen🙏🏾

[@yeetnessthegreater1298]

Amen brother 🙏🏾

[@thegrimm9383]

Please I need help dealing with HOCD. It’s making me feel like I’m gay even though I have no attraction to guys at all. I no longer feel any relief when I feel attracted towards women and nothing is helping. I feel so broken down and defeated and I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s twisted my mind so that even though I relate to so many people with HOCD, I feel no relief. Please help me, I can’t do this anymore

[@droppedmycap1594]

THE GRIMM u still having this issues? If so, trust me bruh ur not gay, people who are gay know 100 percent, the fact that u searched this up. Means ur far from gay, it’s just ur brain pls tricks on you, this happened to me too like 4 days ago, this site is gonna explain everything better moodsmith.com/hocd/

[@thegrimm9383]

Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it. It's just so hard to deal with because my brain is starting to make me feel like my whole life has been a lie. Like i had a sexual experience with a woman the other night but once it was over the HOCD came back and started to tell me i didn't like it and that it was wrong for me even though it felt right and awesome when i was doing it.

[@thegrimm9383]

It's just so damn tough man. It feels like my mind is playing tricks on me and I no longer know if I'm in denial or really have HOCD. I've started to lose my attraction to girls, even though I still find them hot and want them. And it's like the more I tell myself I don't want guys, the more HOCD tells me that I do. And I've tried to accept maybe being bi-curious or bisexual but it doesn't help, just makes me feel shittier. I no longer get relief when I reassure myself that I'm attracted to girls and I no longer know what to do. No matter what I do to relieve myself the HOCD just tells me that I'm in denial. Its just confusing because before this started I never doubted my sexuality. Yeah, I'd been curious before, but never because I found guys attracted or because I wanted to date one. And it feels like deep down I know I'm straight but that the HOCD has fucked with my mind so much that I no longer believe it and no longer feel comfortable with my sexuality. It's so hard to try to get help for HOCD when we live in a world where people keep saying sexuality is fluid, or that it can change. it keeps making me wonder what if my sexuality has changed and that makes me so upset. I hate this so much and I just want to go back to being myself

[@kaiiak2688]

did u ever get over it? if so how?

[@Internetarroganz]

@@thegrimm9383 I feel exactly the same and sexuality is not fluid

[@SpiritualBattle420]

All the people worrying here. Relax. You are straight. You're okay. Believe on God through Jesus. U'll be okay.

[@sanjaylama5770]

Its killing me from inside,just looking for help

[@SpiritualBattle420]

@@sanjaylama5770 Don't worry. You'll be okay. Just relax. Time will heal. I once suffered this for 2 months and now it's gone. Believe on Jesus alone as the true God. Ask God the Father in heaven of our Lord Jesus for help.

[@sanjaylama5770]

Thanks man

[@angelg2155]

Utos Utos Do you have any tips man I’ve been suffering from this for the past 2 months and it’s been hell

[@angelg2155]

Utos Utos What can I do any tips on how I can ask god for help and guidance

[@sunshinee.a9096]

Its so reliving to hear other stories about other people going through this because it really makes you feel comfortable with yourself knowing that you’re not gay and its normal, when this first started i thought it was the worst time of my life and i wanted to die, i remember saying i rather be physically sick like have cancer or something than be gay or be thinking like this (not that i have anything against gays) but i just didn’t wanna be that way and i knew i was straight because all my life I’ve been attracted to boys and thats all. I had really bad anxiety, i didn’t wanna be left alone with those thoughts or that feeling i had. It went away eventually after like 3 weeks but it usually comes back but its not as bad as the first time because i try to ignore it, i just want it to go away completely

[@sunshinee.a9096]

Also during that time i had nightmares of that and i couldn’t sleep at times, it was really bad, i never told anyone about this and when i searched it up on google i found out what intrusive thought were and it made me feel better knowing that im not alone

[@ceasarugwuanyi7209]

Same I said I will rather be a sex offender than be gay(don’t have any thing against them)

[@marinaradovanovic2-52]

I have a question. Can sexuality change or are we born this way? I am 15 years old and all my life I have loved boys and that was naturally accompanied by enjoyment. But 2 months ago I woke up and read by chance that a 16-year-old girl realized that she loved girls even though she had been heterosexual all her life. I went crazy all of a sudden every girl is attracted to me and I’m so scared I don’t want to be a lesbian. I hate that word. But I’m scared of slowly becoming a lesbian even though I don’t want to. I just want to disappear.

[@DD5508df]

@@marinaradovanovic2-52how are you doing now??

[@DD5508df]

@@sunshinee.a9096how are you doing now??

[@Only1omer]

I miss old me the old me that didn’t have these thoughts and was happy and always had feelings for women only I need to talk to a therapist because my mom doesn’t understand hope y’all recover

[@ktsports5548]

Same

[@Only1omer]

@@ktsports5548 I found a cure just don’t think about really just say to these thoughts “okay whatever” don’t fight to Prove yourself this method has been working since I wrote this comment

[@ktsports5548]

@@Only1omer thier is this girl in my class that thinks I'm cute i gotten a little butterflies in my stomach it's starting to fade a little bit

[@Only1omer]

@@ktsports5548 your a boy right if you were gay you wouldn’t have gotten these butterflies in the first place hocd just hides your feeling don’t worry hocd won’t turn you gay it’s scientifically proven best thing to do is whenever you have these thoughts get up and do something distracting whenever this happens to me it’s fades away believe me I’m an over thinker I didn’t even know that I would beat hocd

[@ktsports5548]

@@Only1omer thanks

[@GoldenStrike87]

This happened to me during the coronavirus quarantine too much time with my thoughts led me to this I advise people to not withdraw from things and to face the fears they have.

[@ashaa2127]

Same bro this shit dumb

[@christhegoat8911]

This just started happening to me,I already hate it

[@wetdragonballz1332]

@@ashaa2127 this has been happening to me for so long but I found a week ago what it’s called, it’s so annoying man. LIKE I KNOW IM NOT BUT MY BRAIN DOES DUMBSHIT

[@yeetushiatus1908]

Same dude. It REALLY sucks when you're the kind of person who relies on your mind to be strong and efficient but when this happened, i can feel myself crumbling apart i hated myself for what my mind did to me. I thought my mind was against me, but now i understand that it never mean to do any harm. My mind was just sick and i haven't been able to take care if it. For 7 months, i have been able to minimize its frequency and intensity, but not fully recovered yet. Ill be able to go back to myself and so do you.

[@Tj-du4mj]

Same man

[@AlexanderTheBloodraven]

If anyone who has this had an erection from one of these intrusive thoughts, Don’t worry. Apparently, the attention and anxiety you’re feeling can actually increase blood flow and physical arousal. This may make you feel as if you’re aroused by the intrusive thoughts when, in fact, the opposite is true.

[@djprunty5750]

Thanks for this 🙏I haven’t had an erection from the intrusive thoughts but this helped 🙏

[@tromboneman4517]

Sexual thoughts ALWAYS have the possibility of causing arousal even when they are repulsive.

[@akkitheconqueror6922]

Thank you sir! I've been straight and i've had numerous crushes of the opposite sex in my school days. Even imagining of being a gay just shuts off all my positivity and drains my creativity, HOCD depresses me as if the term itself is meant for me to suffer. I was, am and will be straight but why does common sense not work in the case of HOCD or anyother OCD for that matter?

[@slammeriversondougherty2689]

Yeah I have a crush on this girl and I really like her I want this t ok go away I am Straight and always will be I'm never a ashamed to be around with a girl so were Straight our thoughts are just fuckin with us so try to go out with some girl and talk and maybe you get over it let's pray to god

[@mistamental11]

Fbb sex

[@jaspherperez5812]

Do you guys also find guys attractive but not romantically or sexually?? like wtf!! everytime I see attractive guy I feel upset and ruin my day

[@jesse8160]

For me it’s believing I’m gay that gives me anxiety/panic attack that’s when I realize I don’t like these thoughts/feelings.

[@dane2313198]

Logic does not work against a fear. Atleast not for people with OCD traits. If you throw logic at a Fear it will just find a new "what if ". So the best thing is to just accept that you can't control everything and there will always be some uncertainty. If u check a door 100 times to see if its locked , it's still possible that the door is still not locked.

[@sacan745]

I almost tell my parents that I were gay (the thoughts were so real it nearly drove me to) until I was relieved watching all these HOCD video after find out it was a thing and many people share the same problem. I am truly grateful for all of you.

[@91dgross]

You got this bro. I am here for you if you need support

[@__ghostland__]

Dude it made me so convinced i popped out 6 times even tho i hated it and never made me feel happy or positive. My gf used to just be like its just ocd lol

[@Blank_sp8ce1234]

This is so insightful. I have HOCD and ROCD and they play against each other. I’m going through a stint rn

[@panagiotapoliti8906]

Lauren pls visit channel youhaveocd .the person who owns it is a specialist in ocd recovery .she had severe ocd and has fully recovered from it.now she helps other people recover as well.u have to do work to recover.

[@zornstein_-9472]

Hope you Get through it man cause im dealing with hocd right now and i rather die than become gay! (Im not against gays im just scared of becoming one)

[@eddiejeffery7015]

@@zornstein_-9472 same i just think i wouldnt fit in

[@zornstein_-9472]

Eddie Jeffery thats what i think too

[@dacariwhitehead7971]

@@zornstein_-9472 watsgud brah I feel you I’ll never be gay hell naw I always like girls and always will like girl my number 1 high school crush i was going to take her to prom but Covid broke out and all schools got shut down the madness I went threw was crazy because I actually succeeded and doing what I needed and asking her out now lockdown feel like I been cage up with thoughts you see when Covid first happen I was happy I still had this amazing thoughts about her and even other girls I still have thoughts but it’s harder now it started this year around February I was just standing then boom out of nowhere I get depressed and have these weird ass thoughts like hell naw brah to make this a short story 😂I wish Covid never happen this really mess up my life mentality like if I went to prom with her I would have been so happy now I’m just depress we still friends and she stills follow me on insta but it’s like I don’t have the same feelings for her like I use to and it’s getting me mad it’s like things that use to excite me is getting boring I use to stay up all night with my dawgs playing games now I’m just in the room stuck in my head sometimes it goes but then it comes back I just wish Covid never happen brah because i think Covid played a big part and I’m not gone lie I watch porn a lot I’m going to stop doing that to I’m going to get my life together

[@thelifeofjames8596]

I think the toughest thing is that a lot of us know we are straight, we like women and find them attractive. But, because so many of us don’t have any problem with people being gay the voice in the back of your head tells you that you wouldn’t have a problem if you were to sleep with another man, or engage in any gay intersections... even though you know you wouldn’t do it and wouldn’t want to. But because you don’t see it as a problem you believe that you actually would like it when in reality you wouldn’t, if that makes sense.

[@AlexanderTheBloodraven]

That’s exactly what’s been going on with me.

[@ikewhite6832]

You can't talk about it either because then people will think your homophobic.

[@thelifeofjames8596]

@@ikewhite6832 or just deny HOCD is a thing and say you’re in denial. Which would make it 10x worse on yourself and doubt yourself even more.

[@thelifeofjames8596]

@@ikewhite6832 as in other people will deny HOCD as a legitimate thing.

[@ufc.prodzz2861]

@@thelifeofjames8596 couldn’t explain my case better mate

[@izzysmithson5446]

I have HOCD, I was in a happy relationship with someone and all of a sudden the thoughts hit me like a rocket. I was constantly crying and always asking for reassurance from family and friends. I would think of what I did as a child and if that was normal. Constantly looking at porn and seeing if I’d get a response. I become so depressed and suicidal that it eventually broke my relationship. It’s hard getting physically attracted to someone because of it but after going to therapy I had to come to the realisation that it’s just one of those and accept the thoughts

[@Internetarroganz]

Im having trouble loving my gf because of it

[@haleyghaiwkdnna5204]

izzy smithson did it get better for you?

[@Internetarroganz]

@@haleyghaiwkdnna5204 Well for me it got way worse

[@zornstein_-9472]

Exactly what im going through!

[@dacariwhitehead7971]

@@Internetarroganz aye you straight brah

[@shannonbear8807]

i love this doctor so much , he's very well spoken and absolutely accurate . This just makes me so happy because I finally understood what was going on haha

[@cataptitudeclass5099]

Me too yessss

[@colalightyear7859]

yupp, on fucking point, thats exactly how I felt when I was into deep

[@Tj-du4mj]

Yes same

[@KrishnaChaudhary-wd9qq]

Same

[@shannonbear8807]

:)

[@PcCAvioN]

For me part of the problem is being single. When I'm alone, I have so much time to think about this, but when I've been in a (straight) relationship it feels like the most natural, prefect thing in the world!

[@skoopidoopidoop]

I often feel like a straight person living in a heterophobic world. My mind coerces me into ‘accepting’ that I’m a homosexual while I can’t view women in that sexual/romantic light, not even by force. What’s even more painful is my brain telling me that my genuine feelings or attraction towards men is false. I wish I could explain this to people without being labelled as a homophobe or being told ‘you’re just too anxious to come out’. I’d rather be a homosexual, confident about my sexuality rather than whatever this mess is.

[@unknownuser4879]

I have been straight all my life I'm female btw and I started getting h/bocd thoughts this year and it is horrible I've never had anything against gay people I love them and find it very romantic when they kiss and that's why I get this fear of what if I'm bi or gay bc I start to feel somehow it's a mix of anxiety and the fear of being aroused The thoughts are still there (they get better and worse it's always different) but right know my body doesn't really react to them the way it used to I have a lot of ocd thoughts it's just confusing to me bc I can't imagine a relationship with a girl I'm not homophobic and if I liked girls I wouldn't hide it from myself but I'm not and that's the problem

[@vergulli12]

Being a straight person in a heterophobic world… these are the very feelings I have been having for years. I think in my case it all comes from very unpleasent experiences I had with homosexuals when I was a teenager / young adult. Retrospectively I would label them as grooming / harassment. I was completely overwhelmed back then, and I did not know how to react and how to deal with these experiences. They caused me to doubt myself and my heterosexuality and gave me a tremendous fear of being perceived as attractive by gay men.

[@tc2426]

I cried when I saw this

[@warcrimes390]

me: *having a great time fantasizing* gay thought: *comes in* my brain: but why, you could do that, but why?

[@mohassan7829]

This is what exactly happens But what makes me cringe more That I've been normal since puberty but why do these thoughts come now Like I've been normal for 7 years but now these thoughts come out of nowhere

[@warcrimes390]

man this comment brings me back, I luckily don't really suffer from this anymore, I still get occasional thoughts but they bother me a lot less now.

[@hepa00lepa]

What's a gay thought? How do you relate to it? Is it based in reality? Are you aware that gay and straight are just labels? Do you even know gay people? Do you know what the world is like? Did you know that being bisexual has always been common? Did you know that most people have these thoughts but they don't shit a brick...? I just feel sad because I'm imagining all the fun you could be having with people who are like minded and beautiful, if you just realised and knew in your heart that they are really out in the world waiting for you to discover yourself in them. Bi guys are more common than straights in a bunch of places ay. commit to loving yourself regardless of what label could best describe your sexual orientation.

[@EricAnderson-ur1px]

To whoever sees this, please just remember that gay people do not worry about being it. It is who they are and who they want to be. The only thing they worry about is if they are accepted. If you have ever worried about being gay, that means you are 100% not. Gay people know they are gay from 5-9 years old, even if they haven't had crushes or felt any attraction. As he said in the video, do not get confused by what is known as 'Doctors and Nurses' where young children explore other people of the same sexes bodies. It has nothing to do with your sexuality, it is you, exploring other people as you learn about life. Even if you have had a same-sex dream or thought which you have reacted to, especially during 9-17 years old, this is just adolescents exploring different sexes, it is completely normal to wonder and question. I hope this helps some of you, just remember, if you were gay, you would not be afraid of it.

[@sparks1543]

Man I was struggling with this and this comment has just brightened my day I know I’m not 😎😊

[@sparks1543]

Cuz I’m terrified

[@EricAnderson-ur1px]

@@sparks1543 That proves you are not gay! :) No gay person in history did not want to be gay, or then they wouldn't be. You are very straight, do not worry about it.

[@MrMiniPancakes]

I think porn plays a factor

[@mr.hithere4346]

I feel like I can agree. I’m 19 and never had any luck with girls. I mean I’ve seen 2 girls but I’ve never been in a relationship and still am a Virgin and I kinda watched porn a little too often n it seems like it progressively got worse everytime I’ve watch some. N I know I’m straight but The thoughts don’t give af

[@mr.hithere4346]

Warn Gamers I get that 100% bro. This shit really hit me hard within the past few days and they have been some of the worst days of my life mentally. Something that makes me feel better for a little is realizing that I’m not alone and you’re not alone. So many ppl in the comments saying exactly what I feel. If we were gay we would enjoy the thoughts put into our head. We DONT enjoy these thoughts which pretty much proves we ain’t gay but our minds just wanna fuck with us. I’m currently tryna figure out shit to do to get rid of these thoughts, therapy, church(even tho I ain’t to religious), and other shit I can’t figure out yet lol. If you ever wanna talk just HMU on sc @sam_vars

[@kslitz-2609]

Mr. Hi there i think meditation would help, try to calm the mind

[@m.ilixch]

@Warn Gamers thanks you too bro

[@avi4003]

@Warn Gamers You are asking if it's HOCD or you are gay or bi. Believe me it's a compulsion. It would only make your OCD worse in long term. A successful recovery from hocd is when you won't care about your orientation and obsessive thoughts. If you need peer support then join this group. You will find people with similar problems. facebook.com/groups/intrusivethoughts/

[@g.a.5608]

I have a crush on a guy since April but 3 weeks ago I woke up and asked myself ‘’what If I am a lesbian’’ and the nightmare started.I woke up every night panicking I check every day if I am attracted to girls or not and sometimes if I am panicking It feels real like I am really attracted to them but sometimes I am like relax you are not Its just your brain playing tricks on you.School starts soon and Im really afraid because I think when I see my crush likee the feelings will dissapear but I dont want that I mean I wanna be with my crush but this HOCD or denial idk anymore is driving me crazy and when I see a guy I am like oh well he is sttractive but my mind is like ‘’ you are a lesbian dont cheat’’.I went to a therapist and she told me that these are intrusive thoughts but Im still scared...idk what to do...

[@nourmahjoub6566]

Hey i’m dealing with HOCD and it’s living hell. How are you now?

[@lunalovegood.8425]

Same

[@luochai]

I'm experiencing the same thing except I don't even have a crush

[@daisyy3051]

Me too my mind tells me ''you are lesbian''but I dont want that! No homo but it just doesn't feel right to me . I have been watching bts and cry myself to sleep 😭 I want my old self back

[@luochai]

@@daisyy3051 SAME GIRL,BTS GIVES ME A HUGE RELIEF FROM ALL THIS TENSION. I'm only 14 and I'm scared to tell my mom and dad cuz they will think that im lesbian or Bi. I JUST WANT TO GET OVER WITH IT. it been like 2 days and I can't handle it-

[@jdisc9147]

I call the Hocd appearance in my life as "The great Purge" because it killed all my happiness, concentration.

[@Tj-du4mj]

Same

[@Ezkvlra]

Fr

[@Tiffany-tx7tq]

absolutely relate to this

[@burningblitz6142]

OCD is like a "God" that touches any topic to make us anxious. The more we know about it, the stronger it gets. You must never doubt its full potential. To anyone wondering what does "accepting your thoughts" in therapy means, it does NOT mean agreeing with them. It means accepting these thoughts will come and go due to your mental condition caused by OCD. I started with acceptance that this was going to happen since it always has, albeit with different topics such as violence, death, crimes etc. This time around, OCD chose sexuality as the topic to terrify me and I simply got scared of it. Once I realized this, I was very relieved and started recovering quickly. If you're still seeking assurance, remember one more and very integral thing: Sexuality can't be changed or "cured" by any medicine but HOCD can be treated and eradicated with mindfulness and medicines. You are NOT your thoughts. Period.

[@_tellavision]

It's an abyss that's rooted in debilitating uncertainty.

[@sushmadevi6581]

Hello bro, i am 18 years old male. I am suffering from HOCD for the past 4 months and before that i never literally never questioned my sexuality and always fantasized about women,loved women, masturbated more than 1500 times looking at women but the thought of with the same sex ever came in my mind. And then this 2023 starts and somewhere around mid jan it started initially it was not that rigourous i thought it was just a overthinking by product as i was always a overthinker. But then suddenly it started showing his symptoms like false attraction, high anxiety and destroyed day to day life. Today is 19th may and beleive me from that to today i am just obsessing about my sexuality 24*7 and doing compulsions. I match all the symptoms of HOCD. My all day is like wake up obsessing about it, eats, sleeps. Literally no work, no outside roaming at all. Initially it was the fear of being gay and somehow i convinced my self that i cant be gay overnight then my brain pops up the fear of being bisexual. And when i ask people on quora that at what age people relaize their bisexuality they write that it is not specific it can be at any age. And it starts giving me more and more anxiety. And the worst part is today i am not able to feel that much anxiety and feel like i want the thoughts but no😭😭😭 i dont want the thoughts i want to be a masculine man who attracts all the girls near him like same i pictured myself from my teenage years around 11. I pray to god for either death or ONLY HETEROSEXUALITY but no bisexuality or gay. I cant imagine myself with a man. But my brain is telling me that why are you faking all of this you know you want it bug no i don't. Even i was a bisexual then atleast i would get atleast 0.1% of the hint in my teenage years but no nothing so i can i be bieexual or gay😭😭😭😭😭. And these motherfuckers on quora write that you can know about it at any age, accept that but i STRONGLY DONT WANT IT. It destroyed literally maked my life living hell!

[@heidicoulter8480]

Almost every day my mind literally tells me I am a lesbian almost none stop. To the point where I have had " coming out" moments that felt so real...the most real I have ever felt. Which in turn lead to severe panic attacks and once hospitalization. BUT....I have never had natural sexual fantasies about women. I have had countless crushes and sex dreams and relationship fantasies about men. I have always wanted to marry a man and be a mother. Because of my anxiety I have actually never been in a relationship ( I am essentially 30). The older I get the worse my thoughts have become. The reason I have not dated has nothing to do with general anxiety, body image and self confidence but apparently has everything to do with being a lesbian. My current crush is not real enough and I am faking my attraction and fondness of him ( despite certain dreams, genuinely feeling happiness around him, desire to just hold his hand and carr for him and love him, etc) my thoughts say I cant date him because I either break his heart or be forced to live a life. HOCD is like being slow brainwashed and me desperately fighting to keep ME alive. It has taken my dreams and wishes of my future and burned them.

[@JackRolland17]

Same I am just so depressed now and sometimes want to die becuase of it

[@91dgross]

You are not alone Heidi, those coming out moments leading to sever panic attacks are the worst. I have been there, friend. Such a funny thing to have sex dreams about the opposite sex (where dreams reveal our true feelings) yet in waking life to be molested by this fear. I hope things have gotten better for you :-)

[@plant2188]

Thank you SO MUCH!!! For talking about people who aren’t straight with this disorder. It can be extra hard reaching out for help when most people suffering with this disorder are straight, it can make it worse when that’s what is causing the ocd. Thank you.

[@ActionMoviesVideos]

Having this particular OCD is one of the worst things to happen to me. After months of pain and endurance, I realized a few things that're helping me recuperate: 1- OCD is all about fear. You're not losing your sexuality, you're only fearing you might lose it, which is literally not gonna happen. 2- OCD keeps changing topics as you keep getting rid of them, and its intention is always only to bother you. Just tell yourself, "OCD has always been there, this time around it just picked up a different topic." 3- OCD worsens when you look online for solutions and reassurance. So firstly, trying to lessen your urges to search, and if that's too late, it never is to back off when you see a trigger warning telling OCD sufferers to not read a particular article/thing. You might have the courage to read it, but it's indeed stupidity when you know it's like food for your OCD-infested brain. 4- Whenever you have these intrusive thoughts, just remind yourself one thing: the person of your sex is basically just you. When you never felt attracted to yourself like that, why would you to them and why now? It's never gonna happen. 5- Trying to overthink less. It's practically impossible for people like us, but ignoring anything these intrusive thoughts tell is not cowardice. It's bravery that gets rewarded within seconds when you don't even remember what was troubling you. 6- Never try to check your attraction. If you do so with those worries in your mind, unwanted groinal responses can get activated (even in dreams) and that's enough to freak anyone out. You also start to defeat OCD in general by not giving in to compulsive urges. 7- Keep internet presence in check. Especially when it comes to social media. Twitter is full of people who won't hesitate to make us straight people feel worthless, so don't even go there expecting anyone to embrace you. They will always try to label you even if they don't know you in the first place. It's not a safe space anymore. 8- Even if OCD for a split second deceives into believing you're liking your intrusive thoughts, don't believe it. The only thing you need to accept is that you've got OCD, and that acts as a solid reassurance, because OCD is infamous for bothering people with many types of intrusive thoughts. Sexuality isn't just the only topic it touches. 9- Try to stay away from adult content because OCD can twist even that. With time, it'll get better and you won't feel the same nastiness.

[@KrishnaChaudhary-wd9qq]

Thank you so much. Your words can help in healing

[@ActionMoviesVideos]

@@KrishnaChaudhary-wd9qq You're welcome :)

[@91dgross]

Thank you. How are you carrying on?

[@ineed2p809]

Plz plz help me,I'm having hocd it has come few times and go away but this time it really making me bothered 😔I just don't want to be with same gender, I really want to be with a men,but I feel like I'm less attracted to men now I feel like my thoughts are real I feel like I'm in denial 😢please help

[@ineed2p809]

It's not the only obsessive thoughts I have, years before I was afraid I'm too easy to fall in love and I kept telling myself that I'm not falling, then I was fears that I will get betrayed or I will betrayal someone, then saw a psychopath movie and get afraid I will become a psychopath and hurt someone, the heard about zoosadist and was scared I will hurt animals I was spo scared,and now this hocd thoughts,I always have series of unwanted thoughts

[@nxoid6723]

One night i was out with my friends,and in one moment my brain started thinking what if im gay,i looked my male friends and my brain was speaking to me what if you re gay,you want a male,every gay stuff...But all i want its just a good relationship with a good female,since i know myself i always liked girls,but 1 month and half i been thinking what if i am gay,i dont want a life like that,sometimes when im with my father im so shamed because my mind keep killing me that im gay,but i just want my old feeling back,even i lost attarction for girls because mind telling me this,I just dont wanna be like this,like i said i want my old feelings back,want to build a family,i want a kids and not have this gay thoughts im so afraid,please tell some advices i cant live with this anymore,i never think to have sexuality contact with man,please GOD help me through this,please .

[@evansypeck5431]

I’ve had the same feelings for around 4 months now. I know I’m not gay and and the thoughts don’t get better. The only thing that I tell myself is “ I know I’m straight, I know I’m not gay”. Sometimes I let them get to my head and question everything I’ve ever known about myself but in my heart and in my head I know even looking back I’ve always had things with girls and I’ve only wanted that. I know that more than ever with this entire experience with HOCD. I know I don’t want a guy in my life, I want a girl that I love and that loves me. I want to believe I can adapt from this fear of becoming gay because I know that my thoughts aren’t me right now. The fact I’ve wanted girls my entire life and always found girls attractive just makes me confused on why all of a sudden I have these thoughts pop in my head when I’m with a girl or when I’m alone.

[@spacepirate3391]

I was crying over a boy I liked for 2 years and then I thought you know what "What if I'm gay" and that was it, my downward spinal lol I knew it wasn't right my thoughts because I also thought what if I'm want to be a guy and not a girl also. My mind went crazy on me. It's really scary because I feel like I can't trust my own mind.

[@ceasarugwuanyi7209]

These thoughts just started happening to me.its been almost two weeks and I’ve been crying I know I like girls but the fear of becoming gay makes me sad. I hope we will all get through this.

[@nxoid6723]

Foreign shooter i feel better than before,if you liked girls man,you still like,you cannot change sexuality like nothing hope u doing good

[@Ezkvlra]

@@evansypeck5431 phew

[@ilovetheweeknd3412]

You are not your thoughts. Trust your gut. You have to separate your thoughts from your gut feelings. Meditate and try and think outside your mind. Have you ever had a thought in your brain where you think “oh i think the answer is 8” and your gut says “no it’s 9” and then your gut was right. Or when you want to paint a room and you name a bunch of colors and you pick blue, those are just thoughts with no meaning. The fact you didn’t pick yellow over blue doesn’t mean you now want yellow, you act on what you feel and you feel blue. The reason we all are thinking these thoughts is bc it’s NORMAL to think of the same sex (or opposite for LGBTQ) sex naked, in dreams, etc... but what is happening is your brain is seeing you are afraid and uses it against you. If you were gay you would know, it’s not something that happens over night. You don’t just wake up and be like “I’m gay today”. Also people who are gay are not anxious about being gay they are more anxious about how people will view them or how people will treat their feelings and they have usually always had those thoughts at a young age. I realized you have to not let the thoughts have meaning and have IMPORTANCE... you have to embrace them (i know it’s hard to embrace them) but see them from what they are and just say... “ok thought so what, why does that matter” which is hard it took me a couple try’s of meditation and thought control to feel better. You just have to see outside your mind, trust your gut, meditate and see that things come and go out of your mind all the time. Remember the more you feed the bigger it gets. Like if you were walking down the street and someone steps on your shoe, if you yell back they will yell back and then it just gets bigger and bigger of an argument. If you just let that person walk on by and be like “that sucked wtf why did they do that” instead of feeding the interest and making your brain stronger in thought.

[@simonaaleksiejute3121]

@@tgm-plays4447 Yeah, I'm 15 and it feels like I'm actually bisexual, but I've never had thoughts of kissing women in the first place. It feels too real....

[@tgm-plays4447]

Simona Aleksiejūtė that’s what false attraction is

[@simonaaleksiejute3121]

@@tgm-plays4447 Yeah, but I don't think I have anxiety. I just want my heterosexuality back.

[@tgm-plays4447]

Simona Aleksiejūtė i joined this forum on Facebook and most the people there don’t have anxiety or they’re anxiety just went away like mine, my anxiety is on and off it’s been off for awhile I think if we start being around people again it’ll go away

[@simonaaleksiejute3121]

@@tgm-plays4447 I really hope so.

[@yeetushiatus1908]

Watching this knowing too well that this is reassurance and another wave of intrusive thoughts are gonna attack me

[@Hejdo8]

This video rolled a boulder off of my heart

[@Escade_Beatz]

Do anybody feels funny when they have hocd like do you feel like a whole different person is trapped in you?

[@kverbrugge4]

100% it feels like there's someone else controlling my brain, it's so exhausting

[@goodnightsir9671]

@@kverbrugge4 YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YEAH it's like pick a side but no middle ground. Gay or Straight.

[@kimberlywilliams3207]

Yes that is exactly how I felt! Like there was another person inside me. My mind was no longer my own! Omg!! I'm with you, and the only way I made through, was with God! Trust God through this! Trust His word! He will deliver you like He did me!

[@Escade_Beatz]

@@kimberlywilliams3207 yea I’m glad that it was over finally

[@danielwright1088]

Personally, I haven't felt that way lol. It inspired the curious admission that I don't know myself as deeply as I would believe. We're all so much more than we can consciously experience and sometimes all it takes is the equivalent of a whisper from a place we don't know exists inside ourselves to spook us given the right circumstances. I hope everyone finds port in the storms of their minds in times of need; and that they find their way back to the light to better cherish the beauty of life that is otherwise seemingly inaccessible when in truth(and that's probably one of the most frustrating parts - knowing it's all in your head) it's just a mindset away. Sorry for the book - cheers.

[@robertdimitrelis5567]

This stifles and paralyzes me. It's sabotaged all my intimate relationships throughout my life. And when I say "it," I've allowed the thoughts to keep me in a chronic state of self-doubt. I'm learning how to accept uncertainty, in order to be finally free.

[@blvnts4052]

it’s crazy how someone can ask you, “are you gay or are you bi?” and you answer out loud very confidently no i am not. but then in your own head and your own thoughts you always doubt yourself. sometimes i tell myself well if anything, i would be bisexual because i’ve been in a romantic relationships with girls before. and if i’m bi, then ill just stick to girls and never ever be with a guy. but then that means i’m straight 😂 you just gotta accept whatever you’re feeling and then you’ll realize. well if i was gay, i wouldn’t care. but guess what, i’m not.

[@historyfacts8599]

Same bro, we all I think have same kind of mentality. Btw how you doing now ?

[@blvnts4052]

@UNKNOWN straight and doing well!

[@lorengashi1065]

@@blvnts4052 Bro u are for real straight cuz i’m right now exactly like u were the first 2 days i just thought and believed that im gay because i found someone handsome i mean a good looking man and so became afraid and after that a lesbian girl told me that im gay so i was afraid after that i learned about hocd and i wasn’t afraid anymore and i started liking girls again but i started making me afraid about being bi and that i say ok if i would be that shit im never gonna be with a guy but what if im gonna love them more than girls and you mean that this is all hocd and im not gonna be gay or bi and im gonna always like womens

[@thelife_ofkhushi]

@@lorengashi1065 how are you now?...please reply

[@jacob2194]

During all my teen years i was not interested in guys at all, i loved girls i am worrying about this already 2 years..i am glad to be in this discussion with all you here.. thank God i am not alone because i think about this everyday but there is a part of the day when i feel ok and later i remember something and it becomes stresful.. it had seriously affected my life and i dont want to do anything at all like i used to do before.

[@Ezkvlra]

I am 15 when did this affect you

[@jacob2194]

@@Ezkvlra do you feel anxiety, depression? Do you want nothing to do? I was 18 now i am 21

[@AlexanderTheBloodraven]

For those wondering, there are a number of medications that can help. The one I’d recommend is fluoxetine. It specifically helps with anxiety and makes it far easier to ward off intrusive thoughts. However, like with most SRI’s, it only starts to work a few weeks after you’ve started taking the meds. It usually starts working at around 4 - 6 weeks and it makes it easier to ward off the intrusive thoughts after about 10. I know it takes a long time, but be patient. Patience is a virtue. Keep in mind, though, that medication shouldn’t replace Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is the most effective form of therapy, according to every therapist I’ve talked to. While medication helps, CBT will be your most effective tool against the HOCD.

[@sushmadevi6581]

Hello bro, i am 18 years old male. I am suffering from HOCD for the past 4 months and before that i never literally never questioned my sexuality and always fantasized about women,loved women, masturbated more than 1500 times looking at women but the thought of with the same sex ever came in my mind. And then this 2023 starts and somewhere around mid jan it started initially it was not that rigourous i thought it was just a overthinking by product as i was always a overthinker. But then suddenly it started showing his symptoms like false attraction, high anxiety and destroyed day to day life. Today is 19th may and beleive me from that to today i am just obsessing about my sexuality 24*7 and doing compulsions. I match all the symptoms of HOCD. My all day is like wake up obsessing about it, eats, sleeps. Literally no work, no outside roaming at all. Initially it was the fear of being gay and somehow i convinced my self that i cant be gay overnight then my brain pops up the fear of being bisexual. And when i ask people on quora that at what age people relaize their bisexuality they write that it is not specific it can be at any age. And it starts giving me more and more anxiety. And the worst part is today i am not able to feel that much anxiety and feel like i want the thoughts but no😭😭😭 i dont want the thoughts i want to be a masculine man who attracts all the girls near him like same i pictured myself from my teenage years around 11. I pray to god for either death or ONLY HETEROSEXUALITY but no bisexuality or gay. I cant imagine myself with a man. But my brain is telling me that why are you faking all of this you know you want it bug no i don't. Even i was a bisexual then atleast i would get atleast 0.1% of the hint in my teenage years but no nothing so i can i be bieexual or gay😭😭😭😭😭. And these motherfuckers on quora write that you can know about it at any age, accept that but i STRONGLY DONT WANT IT. It destroyed literally maked my life living hell!

[@Ankur9344]

@MiyamotoLifeG bro this the second account of me! Not doing well bro i feel like i want these thoughts and never wants to recover from this disease but no bro😭😭i want girls as usual. but now my real attraction towards women is diminishing with a low sex drive and this false attraction thing is rising. i dont want to be bi/ gay bro. This HOCD is breaking me from everywhere the thing i loved the most it took that in a doubt.

[@Ankur9344]

@MiyamotoLifeG 4 and half Months bro

[@sushmadevi6581]

@Miyamoto G bro did you also suffered from false attraction, loss of attraction towards your prefer sex?

[@sushmadevi6581]

@Miyamoto G bro my biggest obstacle In mh recovery path is Ghis false attraction i dont even go out my house because of this.

[@_tellavision]

What's you insta g?

[@LloydChristmasAspen]

I have had this on and off for 10 years.im straight and I know I am but the way my mind works is that it needs to worry about something. I only day dream about women. when I'm at a bar and I see a nice women , she is all I can think about at that moment. In school I used to fantasies about girls in my class. I college I can't stop looking at all the hot girls but then the old on my brain is saying what if your gay? makes no sense haha

[@AndreaVitiani]

I had the same issue in the past... I kinda felt like I had to always worry about something too. It was a nightmare

[@LloydChristmasAspen]

+Andrea Vitiani if I resolve an issue in my head my brain has to find something else to obsess about. rarely at peace

[@nolimitgizzy]

Lloyd Christmas i can relate

[@DedricSilva]

I'm going through this too and i'm straight as well. Been attracted to girls since i was 12 and i also have Asperger's Syndrome as well. I started to learn about Sexuality when i started taking health classes in college as my degree and since then i had fears what if my attraction towards girls change when in reality it doesn't because i realize a person's sexual orientation doesn't change but their behavior can.

[@Kevin-ys3el]

Dedric Silva what do you mean buy the last sentence. Plz need help. I’ve been struggling hocd lately

[@nobody3888]

What about 24/7 trying to convince yourself your gay. I'm so damn stressed out and done being this way, broke up with my gf cause it. Cause of how confused I am, when I'm with her I can't get the thoughts/doubt's out of my head which no wonder.. I think about it alone 24/7 when I'm alone. Now in my brain I'm putting myself in gay scenarios an feeling like if I let myself like it, I just might.

[@ElectricWarior]

You can't get rid of the thoughts or doubts,that would be a compulsion,you need to understand that it's ok for the thoughts and doubts be there,but you don't have to chose to react to the doubts and feelings your braing trows at you,try it next time whenever you get homosexual thoughts or doubts disregard the shit out of it and don't answer it no matter what.

[@randal7234]

I have this condition too and some things I do to help are repeatedly saying I'm gay even though I'm not and facing it which calms me down because anxiety is caused by avoiding it.I also think about the fact that this is just a common thing for a lot of people and that I'm not gay.

[@christopherw4496]

I have the same thing going on, and I have come to realize that you are in control. It might make you feel that way, but you are in control of what you do mentally. This ocd can attach itself to people you know, friends and family, etc. but these are just thoughts. All you have to do is answer, are you gay and have known it for a long time and are in denial, or have you been attracted to girls your whole life and are straight? If you have been straight forever and don’t feel like you would or should be attracted to men, then you are straight and these thoughts are just a random question floating by. Just remember, you are in control of your brain and body. Don’t let this trick you

[@nobody3888]

Think im actually gay tho guys

[@Marie02605]

NOBODY update ?!?!

[@andrewlyon3597]

I'm in tears, been going on for months now, never could quite figure out what was happening with me, thought I was losing my mind and as someone who's already had general anxiety issues the past couple of years this was taking a serious mental toll on me, I'm thankful to see that I'm truly not alone, I am about to start seeing a counselor soon and now have something to point to, I'm officially declaring war on HOCD.

[@nlenle5526]

How you fell now?

[@denisserio]

You don't know how important this video was in my cure process. My HOCD struck in 2018 in response to other sexual malfunctions and was extremely painful. I had to take medicines to defeat the massive first crisis when I had HOCD. After that, I found a way out of depression but still had a way to go to overcome HOCD. This video started the whole process of rationalization, which is crucial for the cure. Now, four years after, I can tell you I'm 100% healthy, with no HOCD whatsoever. It feels great! Believe me, folks: there is a way out of this brain mess.

[@anajan5586]

I am in very bad ocd episode and this comment means a lot to me.

[@denisserio]

@@anajan5586 believe me. It's just your mind playing tricks with you and you can recover 100%. Very important the rationalization. Bear in mind that true characteristics don't bring pain when they are felt. Stick to your history!

[@362adeeburrehman6]

I rationalises that i am not attracted to woman and that i have low sex drive damn

[@362adeeburrehman6]

How do you recover

[@anajan5586]

@@denisserio i am much better! Thanks for this comment during my bad times 😀 all the best!

[@MaurizeZR]

I‘m currently suffering of this for a couple of months now and I can just relate to every single comment I‘ve read here. Sometimes my hocd gets to the point where I just don’t wanna take it anymore and I just want to commit suicide. I just recently realised that in order to cure my hocd I don’t have to constantly run from it and make this experience feel like an endless suffering but rather try to embrace my thoughts and figure out exactly what I am afraid of. This sounds frightening at first but it is actually the only way to find out if you really are gay or if it’s just your mind making you go crazy and confused. This helped me a lot during the recent times and I feel way better now. I can’t really say that my thoughts are 100% gone but they definitely don’t pop up as distracting and as often as they used to. I probably still need some time to get totally rid of the thoughts but I’m hopeful that I will get over this.

[@eddiejeffery7015]

im scared when i accept it i might figure out that im actually gay Edit 6 months later: This is exactly what happened. I'm bisexual.

[@MaurizeZR]

@@eddiejeffery7015 but thats exactly it. I was so scary too but after some time it actually got way better and i felt so much relief from it. Also another point I realized that really helped me was that there is nothing wrong about being gay and if I would have actually come out as gay wouldn't that actually be a boost and i would be much happier with it than trying to deny that i am not. Just to be clear that I am totally not trying to convince you that you are gay but I am also not saying that the possibyilty doesn't exist. It took some time for me to let the idea of me being gay sink in and it was very confusing exhausting and depressing some time but after expieriencing all this I can say that i feel way better. I mean the worst thing that can happen is that you actually come out as gay and if so this is nothing to be sad about. (which might or might not be true in your case) just realize that whatever you feel is right will make you happy wether you like girls, boys or both. (Hope this kinda helps and sorry for potential typos)

[@magiccookies420]

Phasenschuss but the one thing is it’s the idea of being gay that’s in my mind. I wouldn’t ever do anything with a dude

[@MaurizeZR]

@@magiccookies420 You don't have to do anything with a guy or watch gay porn. That won't give you an answer.

[@magiccookies420]

Phasenschuss I’m only 13 how do I get rid of this

[@sallyheller9849]

Despite being attracted to the opposite sex and having crushes on them before this crap took over, does your brain insist that you're "meant to be different (gay)" for no freakin reason? This might make 0 sense, but my brain is like ..." wow you're actually straight (which I AM) but you're supposed to be different.." It's so confusing. I've never been attracted to girls or thought twice about it! Being attracted to boys came naturally. Quarantine has brought me to this and I don't know when I'll be normal again.

[@chano5757]

same

[@gurraking]

In the begging I just thought I was gay but I absolutely didn’t want to but then I started to think that I really am gay so then I just tried to push it wpaway

[@erismara9099]

God damn, believe me this kind of ocd is the worst one!!!!!! It killed me, it literally killed! It's my soul writing this shitttt!

[@erismara9099]

@Jonah yeah bro, the same went with me too! Just curse a lot it will help you. And one thing you need to remember YOU AREN'T YOUR TOUGHTS! !!!

[@riyasingh7472]

Same.

[@Dub_97]

I genuinely believe that if your going through this weather you fear of being gay.. or fear of being straight You are who you have always been. And don’t think that this disorder can “change you” no matter how real it seems you have to stop and really stick with your values. I do understand that ocd is disorder, but I genuinely feel like it is a spiritual attack as well. Why would anybody want to go through this a lot of peoples stories it sounds like an attack to the mind & identity. Literally what does ocd do? Attacks things we value, parts of our identity. Idc how real the thoughts seem or feelings seem or images seen! It’s OCD for a reason. If you are 100% aware that this is happening and that it simply does not align with who you are and your values then that should be enough.. of course ocd makes you believe you have to do more to be “certain” I know how debilitating this is. I’m going through this it’s been 2 months and feels like along time I had a huge break down today with my girlfriend! We don’t ask for this attack to happen but it sucks it truly does I hate this I wish this could all go away. It causes suffering. Causes depression makes you feel lost makes you feel like the YOU has been stolen. If this doesn’t sound like an evil spirit then idk what does. Remember devil comes in to kill steal and destroy! I haven’t been myself I pray everyday that god can free me from this demonic illness. I want my joy and happiness back. I want my freedom to go anywhere I want without feeling anxious and doing compulsions (mental checking) etc. I’ve been out of work almost 2 months because of this. I’m trying my hardest to just be strong and constantly encouraging myself that I know and I’m aware these thoughts aren’t mine. Evrything that’s going on did not start off with some kind of “desire” This disorder can cause so much confusion. But you need to stay grounded! This disorder is a liar to you and you mind! Literally trying to destroy you. I promise you, we will all get through this! Anybody who is reading this “I pray Heavenly Father, that any and everybody who is dealing with sexual orientation ocd to be free in the name of Jesus. I pray that that you free anybody suffering, all the confusion all the homosexual intrusive thoughts images and urges father. Father I asked that you keep the lies of the enemy away, protect our heart and mind and identity in Jesus name, Fill us with your love your peace and your goodness. Thank you father god, in Jesus name I pray Amen”.

[@spacepirate3391]

1:23 YESSSSSS I that is what happened to me. It makes me feel crazy! Like I can't trust anything or any of my feelings. Its hard for me to know what is real and what is fake.

[@deadpoolz9161]

I think I just need a girlfriend....

[@mr.hithere4346]

I get that. I’m 19 and never had a girlfriend or had sex so I think that could be a cause for me. Also prolly excessive porn viewing lmao

[@lich5462]

Mr. Hi there we are two peas in a pod. My hocd is truly debilitating. I’m 19 and was put in a bloody mental hospital because I couldn’t take hocd anymore and all I told anyone was I had regular ocd. Now upon arriving I disclosed my condition and received backlash from the bloody clinicians and psychologists who didn’t believe me. Whenever I get lovey dovey or sense an affinity to a particular female, my hocd seems to disappear almost entirely. I theorize if a female just gave me affection not even fornication that I would be alleviated significantly, if not cured. Patience friends.

[@willrobertson9549]

@@lich5462 Hi Sator, Sorry to hear about the docs that didn't understand you. In response to your comment, if you always look externally for a particular someone or something for you to finally feel better again you will be in a constant cycle, a chase almost - giving the OCD power. From my experience I will tell you that it's about finding peace within, trusting yourself and allowing the thoughts through.. thoughts have no power you, with OCD we give the thoughts that extra power when really it's all made up. I promise you will get to a point where you can laugh at this and then that fine lady will come through when you least expect it! Stand up shake yourself off you've got this brother - best of luck

[@BenLCarter96]

Dead poolz beleive me guys, it helps for a while but until you work out what all of the “what if”s really mean, I don’t think we’ll be free of this. I’ve been going through it since I was about 15, after friends ditched me for thinking I was gay. I’m now 23, have had girlfriends in the past, and I’m madly in love with my current girlfriend. for the first 2 years I was great again. With the stress of certain normal life situations more recently I find it fluctuates still, spiking occasionally when I get “triggered”. I’m seeking high intensity CBT therapy at the moment, and by working through the meanings and working on the perception of the thoughts themselves I’m slowly starting to overcome this bs. Good luck guys, stay strong

[@slammeriversondougherty2689]

@@BenLCarter96 yeah I going thru this too I'm having thoughts but I don't like it I always comfortable with a girl when I go to school I have a crush on this girl and I like her because I kept staring at her and I watched porn and now I'm trying to quit maybe that's what cause it so now I'm trying to get thru this

[@nutsquadf8330]

I’ve been having hocd only for almost 2 weeks now and it has been the hardest thing i’ve been through deep down i know i am straight like i know i am but these thoughts are trying to get the best of me and i almost can’t take it anymore i have come very very close to taking my own life due to this. on top of this i suffer from generalised anxiety i want the old me back if anyone sees this please help me in some way if you can i hope the rest of y’all recover it’s just hard to get our mind to understand we are straight and it’s trying to doubt us we will get there i promise all of you

[@randomwhitedude412]

I’m the same way dude we both will hopefully get better

[@yeetnessthegreater1298]

4 weeks for me unfortunately it got retriggered by a dumbass person I knew who wanted announce in a groupchat he was suss and sent his disgusting nudes

[@Tayala619]

God bless man

[@giorgosdriver78]

does porn affect hocd?is it getting worse with porn?

[@doyle8120]

Yes because your brain treat porn as a self-rassure that you are not gay .. and guess what , when u think that , your brain get so much more into that thinking about you being gay . It's being 6 months since your comment , i guess you became fine now

[@sounaklaha3234]

This video really helped me a lot to go with my current situation...

[@charlieknickerson2127]

What's really messed up is that I cannot how I'm supposed to explain this to family. Like how do I talk about this with my parents without them thinking I'm gay.. I didn't even know this was an actual disorder until today and it does give me some sort of comfort.

[@FirstnameLastname-or1rl]

Show them this video and tell them your dealing with this, it will also help your relationship with your parents get even more stronger

[@91dgross]

How are you doing now, friend?

[@zweirdz7706]

Does this go away? I want to be normal again.

[@mrdonotknow6554]

Yes it does I had it for a month and felt sick and very very distressed but it went away and now when I look back at it I laugh it off

[@zweirdz7706]

Not gonna lie, it did go away haha. It’s funny to look back at but it was definitely tough at the time.

[@rylanferrier]

@@zweirdz7706 please tell me how to treat it. Im struggling bad. I cant take it anymore

[@helios2283]

@@rylanferrier Just accept the thoughts don't try to fight them or look for reassurance online this won't help you.

[@zweirdz7706]

@@rylanferrier You gotta chill out on the thoughts. You’re probably an overthinker so you got to stop looking for a solution and just let things just play out. Looking for a solution is going to drive you insane because you THINK you have a problem, when in reality you don’t. It’s like trying to solve a math question with no answer, you’ll never find it. Personally, just try to distract yourself and talk it out with someone you trust. Usually one knows what their preference of sexuality by the age of 14-15. So why would it change now? Just try to take it easy, when the thoughts come, just accept that they are there and think of something else.

[@zornstein_-9472]

Been free from this for years now, thank god

[@arjux4724]

bro how you cured this please help me

[@maxscharf6806]

Is it normal that you suddenly have to test every man you see if you like him? I've only had that since my thoughts, even with men I've known for a long time

[@omnisciencexx790]

Thats HOCD i have that experience not just real life but virtually also like movies and shows.

[@galacticplzza1512]

Yep

[@evansypeck5431]

Came to the conclusion a while ago that I am straight and I always have been my hocd just made me worry to the point where I though I was something different the way I think about is that I’ve been with women and always enjoyed and there’s no way I could be gay. At worst I would be bisexual and I knew through the whole thing I would never be with a guy every in my life. there’s a big difference I can tell know between admiration and being able to see a man is attractive and finding a man sexually attractive. Key thing to look out for everyone here knows they are straight they just have a nagging thing in there mind telling them otherwise and second guessing themselves. Your thoughts don’t mean shit what u know yourself as and what you’ve done in your life leading up before hocd hit is who u r. Through that just simple process in my head I would over think it but learning to let go was the way I’ve know got a girl that I can’t get off my mind and don’t want to fuck it up and nervous about it as all people would be but y’all got this!

[@slammeriversondougherty2689]

I feel the same way thx for the advice

[@lukexerri9615]

My hocd is off and on I know 100% that I’m straight cause I love women and when I’m speaking or with girls I’m fine but it’s the worst when I’m bymyself and I’ve attempted sucide 4 times cause I throught I was gay but Ik I’m not and I’m gonna beat these thank u 4 this vid I’m gonna beat these and live my dream of having a wife and kids

[@danne3557]

Luke xerri you wanna chat i have The exaxt same feeling as you, Whats your snapchat

[@zp-4373]

Same i’m going to beat this thing and have a wife and kids

[@Motionkee225]

Same bro

[@remo_xl9024]

It’s a relief that I share the same Experience and problems

[@slammeriversondougherty2689]

Same bro I want a wife and a kid i only likes girls and still do

[@Life-io5ok]

I feel like im constantly checking and seeing if the things I do make me "gay" for instance, I'm a dude, but I like sweatshirts that are bigger on me, and it makes me think "oh your a girl your gay"

[@UnKnown-hl4ev]

That means absolutely nothing

[@bogdanoff8488]

Ihave anxiety disorder..and ihave different different type of of fear come and go like fear of heart attack , fear of exam, fear of dieases , fear of going crazy, ibeat all these fear then one day i just read the comment section of anxiety sufferres and i see he say he had fear of being gay.. and just freak of it that iam also become this or fear that i could catch this fear of hocd and now iam dealing with it ...and iam straight.. its playing super mind trick with me

[@dexterreyes9372]

Control your mind. I had panic attacks then it transformed to insomnia. Thank God it's over with panic. I used to be afraid to pass through tunnels, not anymore. I also had POCD for a short time then got replaced by HOCD. I was able to overcome some of them already but, so far, still struggling with one.

[@luckykaushik2473]

@@dexterreyes9372 yeah we all know these all are the themes that our brain create ..the more we react to them , the more we feel it

[@dexterreyes9372]

@@luckykaushik2473 At least I got people who are really talking now. HOCD's a monster. A gay monster if you wanna call it that. Haha. You unintentionall got the "cold" too? The HOCD, I mean?

[@luckykaushik2473]

@@dexterreyes9372 this monster sucks sometimes😁 but by not give them any fck..it will go back to their home.

[@dexterreyes9372]

@@luckykaushik2473 You know what, this just happened to me 2 months ago although I've improved a lot. I've been seeing a lot of videos and say do ERP. Ok. I do it. But when I get "triggered", that's where my problem starts. You said, "Just don't give a f*ck." Does that mean I should just ignore it? Even if I'm shaking, confused or my heart is racing at that moment?

[@flaydesigns1751]

ive been suffering for about three days now and i need some advice

[@AlexandreZebeda]

For my case my entire live i have loved womens and even now when a hot girl comes across i get aroused, i have a girlfriend that i love and everything excite me and were planning on living together but on day she sad that she would be afraid that i leave her for a girl and now for no reason i have some gay thoughs that are for my case disgusting.. I tried to let the thoughts go and accepts theme as juste thoughts but deep down i know that i am note gay or bi...it feels wrong for some reason...i know that i am heterosexual and when i am with my girl it leaves me or often like that and i don't even understand is that guys don't attracts me...

[@simonaaleksiejute3121]

I think I've had this last year. The thoughts have calmed down, but I'm still not feeling anything.

[@Hehe-dy9pk]

Simona Aleksiejūtė Do you have it all day or s part of the day, i ha e it always like at the END of school and after, all the way to the morning again..

[@simonaaleksiejute3121]

@@Hehe-dy9pk Well, I don't have them anymore. Had to accept them in order to feel better. I stressed in the mornings once I woke up. Right now, I'm still feeling asexual, but I'm straight.

[@slammeriversondougherty2689]

@@simonaaleksiejute3121 yeah that's how I'm feeling asexual and then straight again

[@aydnaltok4767]

I feel like I'm going to be gay for a few months. I am disturbed even though I have access to this. I love the opposite sex. The idea of ​​being gay frightens me a lot (sorry for my bad English).

[@nlenle5526]

How you fell now?

[@aydnaltok4767]

@@nlenle5526 The psychiatrist said that I had to face my obsession, this made me feel more comfortable.

[@aydnaltok4767]

I hope nobody falls into this situation

[@nlenle5526]

@@aydnaltok4767 So u you are litterally ok now?

[@aydnaltok4767]

@@nlenle5526 Yes, i'm in good shape.

[@claire6731]

i’ve decided to also share my story here since most of the comments are straight guys. I’m a lesbian actually, i’ve know since i was 13 and first questioned if i liked girls at 12. I used to identify as bi but quite quickly once i admitted to my feelings towards girls, had no interest in men anymore, and really did not want to marry one, so i started identifying as gay. I’d sometimes have moments of “what if i’m wrong” but always seemed to dismiss they quickly and it never lasted for more than a week... until quarantine hit... just a week before i had a random thought of “what if i actually like men?” i looked in the mirror and thought to myself “lmao no i’m a lesbian” and thought that was the end, it kinda continued through the week but i wasnt too alarmed as this happened sometimes... then came 5 months of nothing to do except think and be alone in your room... with all this freetime and nothingness i started to think more and more about it and it quickly took over my life... that was back in march.. it’s september now and i still deal with the same thing over and over and over again. i remember crying to my parents about it ( without mentioning what exactly was bothering me because i’m quite embarrassed ) and no matter what conclusion i came up with after a few hours or even minutes all of that disappeared and everything starts from the top again. SOOCD has destroyed my mental health which was getting better at the beginning of this year, it also completely recked my self-esteem and now i dont know who i am anymore. it’s so silly to think that something as stupid as sexual orientation can takeover someone’s life like this, but it does. i’m so glad i’m not alone, whenever i tell someone they just say “well maybe youre bi” or “it’s not that important, just don’t label yourself”. i would go to my therapist about this, but she’s been ill for a long time and the clinic doesn’t know when she’ll be back.. so i’m left alone i’m going to try exposure now bevause i cannot live like this any longer. i want to try everything to get my life back together. if you’re suffering from this, you are not alone! we can overcome this! we’ll be happy again and won’t worry about it!

[@simonaaleksiejute3121]

Someone came out to me as bisexual when they had a crush on someone at 12 th grade. They said that they didn't have crushes of the same sex at childhood, so maybe people can realise later in their lifes.

[@megaforrest5689]

Hey how's it going now?

[@lorengashi1065]

@@simonaaleksiejute3121 Nah man they find it at 11-12 that they are attracted to both genders and they ain’t afraid of beeing bi … and people here are afraid because they aren’t and they can’t be or turn gay bi at 17 or 27

[@Ankur9344]

@@lorengashi1065 Yes you are very right bro

[@AlexanderTheBloodraven]

A really problem I’ve started experiencing is when my brain starts thinking ‘what if you don’t find women as beautiful?’. That causes my intrusive thoughts to try to start telling me that I’m turning gay. It’s really making me anxious.

[@Tj-du4mj]

Same bro

[@91dgross]

The ol “what if I’m turning gay” thought strikes again! Lol you are not alone pal

[@GalaxyGal-]

I'm a mtf transgender woman and partner is bisexual, but she's having an OCD crisis where she tells me she's not sure if she's actually attracted to men, despite her long history of dating men and being sexually attracted to them and having consenual sex and relationships with them. This video was really helpful to getting to empathize better with her and how I can help her outside her therapy

[@julialim3512]

What is messing my brain is thinking that I am in love with all my girls best friends , literally all of them. This is soooo stressful bc I don’t want to feel like that abt them😩

[@sushmadevi6581]

Please somebody Help please. I am suffering from HOCD from the past 4 months and it is becoming more severe from day after day. That disgusting feeling thinking of same sex is slowly diminishing away and i fear that i would one day act on these thoughts. But i dont want to😭😭😭😭. I want to date a woman, be with a woman and this thing is making me feel famine and i hate that. I want to be a masculine man Thjng thing is getting feeling very real day after day but i dont want to be gay/bi.

[@mattaspinall6749]

With ER this can be managed - I had it for about 3/4 months quite badly but by ER techniques & just amusing the intrusive thoughts I’m at a point now where it literally isn’t there which is something at one point I didn’t think was possible! If you’re reading this then you’re looking for reassurance - yes it gets better but not overnight! I’m actually thankful I went through it, it’s made me a stronger & happier person! Also, don’t worry about having relapses - this is completely normal & while it may feel like a step back it’s actually two steps forward towards recovery! Don’t give up, it’s just a phase & you can move on soon having learnt valuable lessons about what you’re capable of ☺️

[@clumsyme179]

I was always straight.the time I knew there are people who are LGBT I always supported them.just a few days ago I was reading romantic story of a boy and a girl and there a thought came in my mind “am I gay”.the thing was that one day my friend asked me my sexual orientation and at that time I answered her confidently that I was straight but as the thought came I became unsure and this is how all this HOCD started.I had really bad dreams about my near one come out as gay and I literally freak out.today i literally freaked out by my thoughts and then after some time my mind said to me that you are disrespecting lgbt community that you supported and I said there is no problem in being gay and my mind took that as a sign and said that I accept myself being gay and this literally freaks me out.

[@91dgross]

Dude this is funny cause I’ve had these exact same thoughts! You are not alone lol how are you carrying on?

[@Ankur9344]

How are you right now?

[@Ankur9344]

You have been suffering from 2 years! How are you now?

[@sannesi]

Okay, i want to share my feelings with people over here. So I have OCD, I’m girl and I’ll turn 15 in 2021. I have been suffering brutal thoughts, thoughts about my gender and about my sexual orientation and these last two have left me quite stressful anxiety. I feel like I don’t know who I really am - if I’m straight or not, if I’m transgender or not. And activities like buying clothes, talking about sexual orientations and even thinking about for example sex with men always make me worried and anxious and brings me these strange feelings. I also have a feeling that these thoughts will never disappear. I’m open for your advices and I’d be very glad if someone can relate with that. Thank you in advance

[@sannesi]

@@fabianemreernstmuller9142 thanks a lot! Your help means a lot to me!

[@dacariwhitehead7971]

@@sannesi aye wassup you good ? I started having theee weird thought the beginning of this year tbh it’s covid making me over think like before covid I never got these weird thoughts I just hope everyone here can get over it 💯as long as I got GOD I know I’m good

[@sannesi]

@@dacariwhitehead7971 hey, yeah I'm way better than I was in January or February. I have psychotherapy and I take medicines, so everything's getting better and better. I hope you're good and feelin better! Best wishes and be strong!

[@doctormgm1812]

@@fabianemreernstmuller9142 what is childplay?

[@ScottEMyers]

Lucky me, I clearly understood that I was gay by age 11 and have been gay my whole life (I'm 46 now). Sending healing thoughts to those suffering with OCD.

[@avi4003]

Sir Did you have Straight OCD?

[@PKMNFan4664]

So here's my story: First of all, I've never actually had a professional diagnosis with OCD, but my counselor said that I seem to show many signs of it. I had also begun showing symptoms of it as far back as when I was 12 (I'm 19 now), so it honestly wouldn't surprise me if I do. And, by the way, I may be one of the few people commenting here who actually isn't straight: I'm a bisexual male. Accepting myself as bisexual was hard enough as is, particularly as I grew up in a conservative Christian family in Mississippi. For the record, while I started feeling attracted to other guys when I was about 11-12, it wasn't until I was 15 that I finally accepted myself for my sexuality, and I was very close to turning 16. OCD only made this worse. I would convince myself that any attraction I had to males made myself automatically gay-that being bisexual was impossible. It doesn't really help that bisexuals, especially us who are male, are often erased by society, and sexuality is often seen in a black-and-white way where people are either gay or straight. What happened when I finally accepted myself as bisexual in 2016? My brain then tried to start convincing me that I was straight. I finally got over that after some time, but it took a solid year or so. This HOCD-type stuff seemed to go away for a while-until about a year ago when I started then having fears that I could be a transgender female. The thing is, I never had gender dysphoria as a kid or a teenager and I have always been happy being a male, even if I was never 100% masculine (although I've always considered myself more masculine than feminine). I don't dislike having my body and I wouldn't feel happier in a female body. However, my brain often tries to tell myself that I could end wanting to be a woman and that I really want to be a female, even though I really don't. I know I said I've never had an official diagnosis of OCD from a psychiatrist. I probably really should get one. But the point I'm trying to make is that trans OCD is a real thing-and it's very similar to HOCD. Edit: I have received a diagnosis of OCD from a psychiatrist now and am currently on Zoloft.

[@broojie8191]

Rodney James Honestly, it’s great to see LGBT people sharing their stories with sexuality ocd, I’m a straight female with it but honestly hearing about people in the lgbt community having it makes me feel less alone and makes me realize my ocd is truly bonkers. Thank you for sharing and I hope you’re okay now ❤️

[@eddiejeffery7015]

i thought i had HOCD but now i know im bisexual

[@__ghostland__]

Mine tells me im bi and I dont wanna be man...

[@evanavazquez8625]

Its crazy how he described so many of my thoughts and antics. I'm glad others can relate through a ducky situation.

[@DanielCrossBoss]

I’ve struggled with this for 3 years finally I’m getting the answers. I heard a voice say your gay 3 years ago and it’s made me sexually confused. I used to be all over women and now I feel like I can’t get in a relationship. I have said I was gay 2 years ago because I was so confused and realized that’s just cause I’m confused I can’t call myself gay. I’m going to visit a therapist about this I don’t want to be gay and I’m happy to know I’m not the only one

[@raschidmalik464]

why you can not accept are you gay? you look handsome guy

[@Kidsfactory2024]

@@raschidmalik464 Because he is not.

[@chevybrown7935]

Okay so i get these thoughts, basically convince myself im gay, which theres nothing wrong with that, but the catch is it only happens when i get stoned!, anyone relate?

[@Mobtheboss-]

I think the weed caused this for me, as I have really bad paranoia and I don’t know what to do

[@jaymejibbs4305]

Yes 100%

[@Kenroy_Tatoute]

This is so wierd i know I'm straight I have no attraction to men at all but still my mind says what if your gay and I start to worry I am. This is getting so annoying my mind Is always against me I just recently I got done dealing with intrusive thoughts of what if God doesn't exist after a week now this shit happens so is it okay to deal with these though the same way I did with others just ignoring them Decided I'm gonna ignore the thoughts I'll update yall wish me luck

[@rish_hyun]

Good luck buddy ✌

[@Kenroy_Tatoute]

@@rish_hyun thx I got over that but now have tocd I want to kill myself

[@rish_hyun]

@@Kenroy_Tatoute what's T?

[@Kenroy_Tatoute]

@@rish_hyun transgender ocd but I'm not a transgender tho

[@Avolition617]

@@Kenroy_Tatoute The same has happened to me man just deal with like you have dealt with your hocd and you will get over it

[@Loveofasufi]

Don’t want to judge anyone ... but it’s worse when you look at it as a calamity and you’ve never really agreed with it and now your getting intrusive thoughts about it and false attraction false feelings. It’s the worst. Not agreeing with it doesn’t mean we want to harm those people or want them to go to hell- definitely not. It’s just something I naturally will never get or agree with .. that also includes religious reasons as well, and it’s okay if you don’t agree with my perspective ,we all are going to disagree on each other at some point , we all have our own person and religious beliefs but I believe those people have their rights and have a right to live in peace just please don’t force it on me and the religion My hocd worsened when I saw something gay on netflix- and it’s not their fault but weeks after that it worsened even more when I come across this tiktok of a woman literally forcing it on people. It really disturbed me. And it’s caused me to become more intolerant of it. I just can’t help feeling anxiety towards lesbian . There’s times I went through pedophile ocd , incest ocd , a bit of transgender ocd with the HOCD but this hocd has been the worst for me . The HOCD Makes you think maybe your bisexual or something but I know it isn’t true. I rather die than become any other sexuality. I’m happy being naturally straight. The false attraction feels real but I know it isn’t because the attraction I feel towards a man feels like a real attraction - innocent , emotional, unique . The false attraction feels real in a different way- deadly . I really respect everyone but my fear just can’t be helped ? It’s like my mind chooses who I’m afraid of. I’m not afraid of gay men but only the women because of course I’m a woman myself. I will never agree with it but i wish I never feared it.

[@eddiejeffery7015]

When i first came across HOCD, i felt alot of relief, but i was still so confused since i was the only one in any comment section saying that they enjoyed their desires for boys, but everything else that was said about HOCD was stuff i related to, so i knew i had HOCD. I had crushes on girls in the past which confirmed most things, but i was still so confused because all these things I were reading or watching were telling me that i was straight but i still had desires for boys. Eventually, i felt like i didnt have HOCD anymore and had become a normal straight person once again, but my thoughts for boys continued and i started to accept the fact that i probably liked boys. Soon, i was even scared to be straight because i had told a few friends i was questioning my sexuality and if i turned out not to like boys, then they would judge me for telling them. Anyway, i was questioning my sexuality for months until i finally came to a conclusion that i was bisexual a couple of days ago. I tried to convince myself it was all just me being in denial instead of HOCD about a month and a half ago. I had an extremely difficult questioning process though. Just yesterday, i realised i actually had HOCD but as a bisexual which also explains why i felt more about boys than the other people who had HOCD. But at the same time, i was also in denial when i had HOCD which is kind of confusing. I hope you understand though, thankyou.

[@fransmierenneuker8823]

I don’t believe you can be bi and have hocd i think you are looking for reassurance.

[@__ghostland__]

What does desire feel like ? :(

[@yummysoap3325]

Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts. It’s just normal people can disregard these thoughts very well. For instance, imagine yourself eating a piece of poop and enjoying it to the fullest. Does that mean you like to eat poop? Of course not, it’s just a thought. Now just because you have intrusive “gay” thoughts, it doesn’t mean you are gay or anything related to gay.

[@BigMProductions7]

For all of you out there! You are not gay but the fact that your letting your brain get to you is! Don’t let it knock you down just let it blow through you and focus on what you want! TO BE STRAIGHT!!!

[@BigMProductions7]

And yes I have had thoughts about dudes every now and then it’s apart of the ocd but I don’t think of them like that anymore after a couple of minutes so it’s just a game and you don’t need to play it

[@bunnylo4f222]

I just turned 14 and I want these thoughts to stop... it’s ruining my life and I really want to find a way to cope with them that’s not seeking a therapist because if I tell my parents they will just say hocd is fake and instead get really mad at me. Plz anyone help if they can, I feel so sick and tired of this.

[@rebornlove1324]

It started at that age for me too and I'm afraid to tell my parents because of that. It's been about 6 years. Just know that you're not alone. If you have instagram, I suggest you follow Pureochrissie on instagram and anxietyocdtreatment. I tried to ignore it for years because I legit thought I was in denial, even though I've never thought of women in that way before, but quarantine has made it worse. While these pages don't replace therapy, they help you feel less alone. There's also Hocdawareness on instagram. I've been told to message them to add you to a group chat with people who have the same struggle. (if you're comfortable) I'm still waiting on a reply so let's see but you're not alone!!

[@lukemitchell9295]

Bro I’m 14 too and it started like 3 months ago for me and I hate it before I was so into girls and I still want to be but these thoughts are intruding and my brain is telling me that I have always been gay which is not true. Just remember that it is all inside your head and none of it means anything to you. Just accept the thoughts when one pops in label as “intrusive thought and just forget about it” (idk if you still have it I just saw your comment.

[@lukemitchell9295]

@UNKNOWN I’m doing pretty good now I’ve got my attraction to women back, but I recognise good looking men all the time which still scares me a little bit. The main thing you have to do is not think about the thoughts, just forget and don’t wonder about them.

[@sushmadevi6581]

Anyone Please Give Some tips on how to Eradicate this false attraction!

[@Emergingdoctor2]

I can help you out i had personal experience

[@Ankur9344]

@@Emergingdoctor2 please help me! How can I contact you

[@Emergingdoctor2]

I can help you

[@sushmadevi6581]

​@@Emergingdoctor2yes please help! This false attraction is the main problem i am facing in HOCD How to tackle this and Eradicate this completely as i really dont wanna be bi or gay to any extent!

[@marisa-gk9ep]

my thoughts are getting so much stronger and i don't know what to about it. these videos make me feel better for a little bit but then i just get set back to square one the next day and i'm so frustrated i feel like i don't even know who i am anymore. i don't want to do this anymore

[@agmast3r169]

Embrace your thoughts see if you like the outcome if you do then good, if you don't then don't try it again there is nothing wrong with that. You don't need to feel guilty about wanting to try new stuff and you especially shouldn't feel guilty if you find yourself like the new stuff you tried. Its your life and you should not be ashamed or afraid of what you like or don't like. Its not your choice if you find a food enjoyable or not, same way that its not your choice if you find a sexual experience enjoyable or not.

[@agmast3r169]

Your preference is not you. You can be straight, gay or bi and you would still be you and from what i understand you are an awesome person. So dont let your sexual (preference whatever that may be) stop you from being yourself!

[@pogslammer3082]

I’m 33 yrs old and I’ve had a history of OCD for a long time but pertaining to different subjects. Not until this past fall did I ever question my sexuality and then BAM this shit hit me literally out of nowhere and shook me to my core. I’m still suffering and at this point have no idea what I am. I still find women sexually attractive but I still constantly question if I could be gay. This is the worst thing I’ve ever gone through and I wish I could just not care.

[@calebbaker6423]

I went through this for 2 mounths and I thought I wouldn’t get over it, or I thought that I didn’t have ocd and I just turned that way, or had always been that way without knowing. Let me tell you that I am better than ever now. Ik it seems like the end of the world but it’s actually quite ridiculous because you’re not. You’ll just have to figure out a way to face your fear and deal with the uncertainty.

[@zach4936]

Well put

[@Charles-pf7zy]

I got over this by realizing that even if I did like men, the least I’d be would be bisexual. That and realizing there’s nothing wrong with being gay

[@iyaneki4827]

@@legohexman2858 same bro, I'm worried too

[@aconfusedshoe6240]

@@eddiejeffery7015 ur forcing ur mind to go back to straight thoughts, that's not what ur supposed to do. Have you ever heard of the story about the computer that was playing a game of tetris and if it lost the world would end? Well in that story the computer realized the best possible strategy was to pause the game forever. Therefore it could never lose because it stopped playing the game. That's what u gotta do my man, stop trying to convince urself ur straight, stop trying to prove to urself ur straight, u are, what u need to do is stop playing the game, stop comparing, stop debating with urself back and forth, just stop it all completely and ignore all temptations that ur brain creates to play the game.

[@davidriddle6677]

Hmm just my experience but I also don't think there's anything wrong with being gay but It still feels wrong to constantly think you are something you are not

[@spacepirate3391]

The thing is most HOCD people don't care if they are gay. Its just a different feeling. For me my thoughts feel like paranoia. I get very obsessive thoughts about a couple of other things and its the same feeling as the HOCD

[@spacepirate3391]

@Dude Is that a toaster¿ I grew up with gay family members and my best friend in high school was gay. They never felt wrong, guilty or paranoid about being gay because it was natural for them, they were just scared their would parents be mad at them for be gay. That's how I know these paranoid feelings I have are not real.

[@leleeevibss9363]

I might have this I don’t know. But instead of trying to prove I’m not gay, I just tell myself I am so I can stop worrying. But then the cycle repeats of me feeling uncomfortable with myself. I never questioned if I was straight, and now that I am questioning it I feel like my life has been a lie. I just need a answer but it just ends up with me searching the internet from the time I wake up, to the time I try and get some sleep. Then I started to feel like I’m attracted to girls, and now I’m avoiding watching certain shows, and checking if I get aroused by women in public now (weird Ik). It’s annoying because I expressed this to everyone in my circle, and I know they would accept me if I was lesbian, but I often cry because I want to be straight and find a man that loves me. It was normal for me not to question it because I truly felt like I liked men, but now I’m just confused.

[@user-zv1wu7mm9d]

Aaliyah highofflife Me too. It’s driving me crazy. I know I like men. I’ve liked men my whole life . Then one day last December or something I thought “what if I’m not straight “ and I literally started freaking out. It’s driving me crazy and makes my appetite go away. I’m a Christian so it makes everything worse. I know I’m straight but I keep thinking and worrying that I’m not. I don’t wanna keep living like this.

[@91dgross]

Do not take the advice of ppl telling you to tell yourself you are gay as a way to combat the HOCD. This is not a good approach. Do not deliberately tell your mind something that is not true. This method is like trying to fight with your mind or trick your mind. It’s a cheap trick. Cheap tricks don’t work One thing I like to do is find a quiet space to myself and call up the thought/fear/doubt. I look at it and I say “hello there fear, i see you and I’m not afraid of you anymore. I’m fully grown now and I am capable of taking care of my mind and my thoughts, and I’m going to take good care of you too my dear friend.” You don’t have to say these exact words. But everytime we call up our fears and embrace them this way the fear shrinks little by little. You can call up the fear/doubt/insecurity for a minute or 5 minutes. But it grows weaker everytime you peacefully face it and embrace it. Also have compassion for yourself and realize that you suffer. You have been through a lot in life and you have been taught to think in ways that are destructive and harmful and Although we don’t know every single way we have damaged ourself, acknowledging that you suffer as a human being and having compassion for yourself is the first step to healing. I believe in you bro and I am here for you.

[@yummysoap3325]

I remember when I just disregarded these thoughts. I think COVID-19 and the quarantine def messed with our minds. Stuck at home and basically nothing to do except overthink and over analyze your thoughts. Normally, I feel like I would have disregarded these thoughts as I liked girls and I knew I liked girls. However, now I haven’t really had much interaction with girls and just keep imagining me in “gay” situations. It really is a never ending process of just imagining denying imagining denying. This started a few days ago and it keeps on persisting. Hopefully, this goes away and hopefully it’s nothing too serious.

[@kirshneplayz4541]

Same I had this last lockdown (I’m in the uk) and when schools opened the thoughts went away however in this knew lockdown they have happened again all I can tell you to do is wait till schools open again or wherever u work but I can assure u it’s doubt it’s not attraction and you are straight.

[@Ankur9344]

Is it necessary to have OCD right from birth as i was completely okay before this and at the onset of 2023 i watched a qna youtube video in which one of the question was "have you ever questioned your sexuality" and that got stuck in ming and it got bigger and bigger! I have all the symptoms of HOCD

[@ericcalicci8775]

All I can say is I'm glad I recovered from hocd! My attraction towards women is back!

[@mehakraghuwanshi764]

Can u tell me, how long did it took and did u recovered, I'm struggling

[@ericcalicci8775]

@@mehakraghuwanshi764 how long did you have hocd?and yes I recovered!

[@ericcalicci8775]

@@mehakraghuwanshi764 it took like 3 months

[@Ezkvlra]

@@ericcalicci8775 bro I having it for 3 months. Will it the attraction to shawties come back?

[@ericcalicci8775]

@@Ezkvlra yes it will come back, before hocd when did you know you were straight?

[@lollollipop2584]

i have been dealing w this for about a year now. it’s gotten a lot worse in the past days. i am a girl, i have avoided most youtube videos w girls. i have these thoughts when i look at girls (not in a sexual way) that in my head are saying “oh u like that don’t you, your lesbian” but i’m not and the thoughts were getting worse and worse. i have never felt attracted to a girl. only w guys i have. but these thoughts get the better of me and i kept reassuring i was straight. it made me scared if i was lesbian. tbh i just wouldn’t want to be lesbian. don’t take this offensively but you get judged by some people for being gay. well anyways my hocd has gotten much better since yesterday. i still have the thoughts but they don’t come up as much which is better.

[@haleyghaiwkdnna5204]

Lol Lollipop this is exactly how I’m feeling

[@rish_hyun]

Hey ! How are you doing now? Feel relaxed , I'm boy I just got normal 😃 after many futile attempts Lets be in contact and find a solution ☺

[@haleyghaiwkdnna5204]

Rishabh Sethi ok thank you for telling me, how long did it take you to recover ? And did you take medicine for it ?

[@rish_hyun]

@@haleyghaiwkdnna5204 I am not fully recovered .. It started for me on 12th Feb 2019 and I've been suffering till now.. I wonder and thinks it's useless I consider it as nightmare Even if I start getting intrusive thoughts I talk to my female friend and I suddenly forgot every thoughts for just moments But after few time it get worsened Gotta say that no medicine or someone assurance would work .. Don't give your thoughts importance..it nothing but a Shit Don't you think it's just our mind manipulation The more we think more it get strong ..so let be cool and relax Consult a psychiatrist May be it could help I gotta say that I've been improving and this video made all my worries gone in seconds I wish you good luck ☺ And also start thinking that nothing happened

[@rish_hyun]

@Joe Mama 🙂 I appreciate your positive attitude and hope you will achieve the stability in your life soon You're near the end of the tunnel where the light is about to shine GOOD LUCK pal