Mae Martin - My Boyfriend Broke up with me on Speaker Phone

#MaeMartin on getting out of a long term relationship, her boyfriend breaking up with her on speaker phone, and being a part of the worst misquote of all time.
#MaeMartinStandUp from the #JustForLaughs Festival in 2015.
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Just For Laughs is the world’s premiere destination for #standupcomedy. JFL produces the world’s largest and most prestigious comedy event every July in Montreal, as well as annual festivals in Toronto and Sydney. On this channel, you will find comedic clips from some of the most legendary comedians in the business: Chris Rock, Bill Burr, Kevin Hart, and more. We also feature stand-up from newcomers such as John Mulaney, Bo Burnham, and Amy Schumer. If you just want to laugh, you’re in the right place.

[@hiltonian_1260]

I think “eating a peach in grade 9” is the best “don’t ask stupid questions” response ever. Accidental genius.

[@chuckhancock4551]

"I don't understand, we gave your brother the same peaches." "Yes mom, and now we both love women."

[@figurativelyliterally9796]

Right? I actually love that misunderstanding

[@Western_ENT]

@@chuckhancock4551 🤣

[@bikerultimate]

​@@chuckhancock4551 OH MY GOD

[@andrearepetto217]

When Mae finds out someone knows Ian peach, the mom comes out subconsciously "oh my God" 😆😆😆

[@joannetownsend6384]

There's a meme out there I once saw: Sometimes I open my mouth and my mom comes out. 😂 So true.

[@kateashton8904]

Anyone else notice that her response to the girl in the audience was "oh my god" ? And she even said it exactly like her mom.

[@adriennemiller.music.]

i didnt until i read your comment and re-listened it

[@jthiboo]

Sooo funny!!!

[@themaggattack]

Lisa Kudrow did such a good job of playing Mae's mum that I couldn't help but picture her saying "oh my god." 😂

[@MWPdx]

The unintentional callback at 2:03 was absolutely the best thing ever.

[@stinew358]

I always love when a comedian does a perfect impression of a mom (maybe theirs it's not important to the joke)

[@NatrixHasYou]

Maria Bamford vibes.

[@therabbithat]

I love hearing excellent impressions of non-celebrities who I have never met

[@jasperlevien5968]

I had a guy ask me out last day of 8th grade. Turned out he'd asked out ALL my friends and then got to me. TURNS OUT he was gay and just using it as a cover or something. TURNS out he was the only one to call me beautiful and dance with me at homecoming the next year.

[@jonhohensee3258]

turns out

[@ripmyfictionalfriends]

wait is that why that one classmate asked all the girls in our class if they wanted to be his gf? it wasn't even that much of a public relationship bc i didn't hear who said yes to him until years later

[@jasperlevien5968]

@@ripmyfictionalfriends yeah that was why I'm assuming but he was probably just being an asshole

[@danielreed5199]

He was probably too young to grow a beard at the time so he needed to find one.

[@danielreed5199]

@@jonhohensee3258I bet you are fun at parties

[@zrobertbrown]

This is a great set😂😂! The best part: "We gave your brother the same peaches"!😂🤣😂🤣

[@LawTaranis]

I love them so much. Thanks to taskmaster for bringing this wonderful lunatic to my attention. 😂

[@char7506]

Feel good is hilarious, her sit com x

[@DizzyBusy]

Define "throwing"

[@jessica-fcm]

I love the Ian Peach joke lol

[@krystleyoung5328]

Mae was on Taskmaster! They are the best

[@nohandle508]

Thanks for that, didn't know! What a treat

[@errolgonzales3285]

“I don’t feel the need to identify other than as a human being”.. I love this. ❤️

[@Lahng_Blackduke]

Sometimes I struggle with that much.

[@jonhohensee3258]

erro - It's ridiculous. She's a female, whether or not she accepts it.

[@danielreed5199]

@@jonhohensee3258 Bet you get invited to a lot of parties

[@jauxro]

​@@jonhohensee3258??? why do you care. Are you going to enforce it. Make sure there's enough dresses being worn or something

[@jonhohensee3258]

@@jauxro ???

[@tremkl]

“Why are you gay” seems like a very strange question to ask a bisexual non-binary.

[@EamonWill]

Or anybody

[@Supersquishyawesomeness]

Bisexual non-binary?

[@tremkl]

@@Supersquishyawesomeness They are non-binary. They are bisexual. What is the question?

[@Hurtdeer]

​@@Western_ENT i see that coherent opinions are getting difficult for you to form in your old age. please turn off the phone and lie down before you worry your nurse

[@Western_ENT]

@@Hurtdeer What? old age? 🤣 Well, obviously your IQ is infinitely negative, so I don't think I need to bother much.. 🤣

[@peterbathum2775]

Such a beautiful person. And funny … thanks

[@ridddgggedchippes]

When I think of a naturally funny comedian, mae is one of the first people who comes to mind. Pretty sure mae can make me laugh about any subject

[@nathanielyoungman4454]

She wasn't funny at all. The story wasn't even entertaining

[@Matt-bz9ru]

@@nathanielyoungman4454 dude then just leave. lmao wtf no one is making u watch it haha

[@lauramendoza5938]

She’s hysterical and charming.

[@NoOne1988]

@@nathanielyoungman4454agreed she sucks

[@foeshizzel]

So it's okay to say a person is funny but not okay to say a person isn't?

[@nspector]

I like the misquote. It's perfect.

[@spoiledwitch82]

I gotta be honest I didn't expect that to be funny maybe amusing at best but that actually made my night

[@davidserlin8097]

The only reasonable answer to the question “Why are you gay?” is “Why AREN’T you gay?”

[@GregOrCreg]

Can anyone explain to me why we're supposed to feel sorry for people coming out of relationships, but it's 'okay' to make fun of permanently single people? Ever heard the expression 'It's better to be a has-been than a never-was' or 'It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all'? Shouldn't people who are potentially capable of maintaining long-term relationships, but are too anxious and shy to get involved in the first place, receive the most sympathy? But instead, we mock them (e.g. 'incel' etc. And by the way, the term 'incel' was always supposed to relate to terminally single and lonely people of ANY gender/sex and *not* misogynist men).

[@erinyes3943]

We’re supposed to feel sorry for people coming out of relationships because they’ve often been hurt by the end of them. They lost not only what they had, but a potential future that could have been. Of course, this isn’t always the case- people can be happy or have complicated feelings about the end of a relationship- but yeah. I do agree that making fun of people who haven’t been in a relationship is stupid. Not only are there plenty of people who don’t want one, for various reasons, but it can be difficult to start relationships if you’ve never had one before. It can feel like a whole different protocol for everything, and mocking that feeling helps no one. People should be allowed to work at their own pace, especially in something as personal as romance. (It’s not really important to the point you’re making, but I’ve always thought the Tennyson quote was more about love in general, and not the narrow avenue of romantic love.) There should be sympathy for people who are too anxious to try for love, and those around them should help and support them, but ultimately no one but themselves has control of their love life. I’m not saying it’s easy, I promise. But love doesn’t deliver itself on a silver platter- you have to choose it, and work for it. I’m saying this as someone who took nearly a whole calendar years to ask out someone that I liked- and when I did, it was graceless and mortifying and I couldn’t get a sentence out without something wrong in it. I was terrified, but I did it anyway, and I don’t regret it. If there are challenges, those challenges need to be handled one at a time, or it becomes too much and makes relationships nearly impossible.

[@GregOrCreg]

@@erinyes3943 Thank you for your thoughtful reply, but in response to your final few paragraphs, as I'm sure you'll agree, no-one can make anyone else fall in love with them, and, thus, it stands to reason that there will be people who are destined to remain single for the rest of their lives. Some people are 'unloveable' so to speak, not necessarily because they're 'bad' people, but just because they might not be attractive for whatever reason. So-called 'incels' are angry and think they're entitled to another person's love, but what about people who aren't angry with anyone as such, and don't blame their single status on anyone else, but are, nevertheless, understandably frustrated with their circumstances? It's almost like a disability. It's no-one else's fault, but it's still something that causes an individual understandable grief and sadness, and surely merits sympathy rather than scorn.

[@erinyes3943]

@@GregOrCreg That is true, and it does merit sympathy. I wish them all the best, and hope that even if romance doesn’t pan out, they love themselves and their friends.

[@Stolasupremecy]

I agree but I don't think we need to make it into a competition (E.g this person should have the most sympathy)

[@Dennicillin]

"We gave your brother the same peaches."

[@nathanielyoungman4454]

Just means they were both fucked up by their raising.

[@JaneDoe-ci3gj]

Love it!🤣👍 Greetings from Sweden!

[@Satchel334]

Fun!

[@janetsworld9734]

Tooo funny 😂

[@state924]

I've only gotten through the first two minutes, thinking that she looked like a cross between peter pan and Tinker Bell… She lives in London and her mom is named Wendy?… WTF!

[@diegooliveirabenjamin]

Super fun

[@misskittystryker]

This resonated and made me laugh - and I don't even like stand-up much usually!

[@HeIsNakedLunch]

4:40 yin~yang, it’s the best.

[@johnhilton6107]

And he got a semi 😂

[@Sublimer79]

Unhelpful hate comments say more about them than the person they are bitching about. (Just remember they are just unhappy people.) I refuse to believe happy people.go out of there way to hurt people. No one is having an amazing day. And goes around insulting. Take care, You are beautiful, Mae. I enjoyed the set..

[@thorium3737]

You used sexist language....

[@Sublimer79]

@@thorium3737 I don't believe I did.

[@thorium3737]

@@Sublimer79 you used the b word. We don't use derogatory gendered language. Be better and at least apologise

[@Sublimer79]

@@thorium3737 I'm using it as a verb, baby. been saying Bitch since I was a kid. it's a classic.

[@Markov778]

@@thorium3737 🤓

[@renovatio93]

Its almost like 80-20 wow

[@Lalabaster]

Lmao! Omg

[@TheStinkusofYore]

That peach must have been on some Call Me By Your Name type shit

[@bg1056]

I thought it was Ian Peach on the red carpet with Mae

[@dillpickledoe]

I love this.

[@wildandbarefoot]

World's not ready for this... those that were are over it and the others are yet to evolve. I dunno . Her time may come.

[@jonhohensee3258]

@@wildandbarefoot Not likely. She's boring.

[@sophierolfsen7797]

I see the title and go Confused Britney Spears. "B-boyfriend?"

[@Matt-bz9ru]

absolute royalty

[@jonhohensee3258]

royalty???

[@jenniferfirer2837]

@@jonhohensee3258I don’t know if this is why the word “royalty” was used, but her uncle is married to Princess Margaret’s daughter. So maybe being clever and insider-y?

[@jonhohensee3258]

@@jenniferfirer2837 ummm... sure

[@danielreed5199]

@@jonhohensee3258 Why are you so miserable, cheer up and have a party :)

[@jonhohensee3258]

@@danielreed5199 I have a party every day. Don't be jealous.

[@kathyschrenk75]

Biggest red flag is "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"

[@RIXRADvidz]

well I clicked on the right video, colorado in my face and in my lungs let's laugh yeah?

[@Nersius]

Did they have to re-upload this? Remember hearing this a few years back, still enjoyed it.

[@destroylawns]

Yeah this clip is from 2015

[@EricFeldmann]

great just great.

[@nicolewise]

I'd say "Mae Martin".

[@nickmottram]

Token dinosaur here... Since she says that she loves and dates men as well as women; why not answer the "why are you gay" question by saying, "I'm not, I'm bi." (?)

[@Krmyas]

I ate a peach in grade 9, and been hungry for nothing else since then..

[@wandayvette2711]

Great story

[@vib.9027]

She reminds me of a gay Anna Faris, super adorable

[@johncorvo5520]

Uggh - re-laysh. Thank you for acknowledging it's a stupid word.

[@CS-op3vu]

To all the haters in the comments, just remember Mae's doing much better than you all and you can't even compare your bank account to hers! She's a funny lady, not because she's gay, but she's truly talented. Peace out, y'all.

[@layton6202]

Are you her friend?

[@GaySexHaver420]

they use they/them pronouns

[@GaySexHaver420]

@@layton6202 their*

[@juliashireen6195]

I dunno about bank accounts, but haters' bank accounts have no relevance to hating anyone, really. Smh

[@gerardhiggins4827]

Money = happiness..what a sad and pathetic comment..she’s as funny as a burning orphanage 🙄

[@sandrawheeler6208]

So funny.....

[@Bucketlord_]

She's cute

[@jonhohensee3258]

And boring.

[@gnlilu6972]

If a chihuahua could talk it would be exactly this 🧐

[@Ffinity]

If a slug could type it would be exactly that!

[@Psychol-Snooper]

🍑🍑🍑🍑

[@spankey88]

If you tell a small group of friends that story whoever says “cool story bro” and shakes their head at the end would get a much bigger laugh

[@schrodingerscat8621]

If someone asked me rapidfire why am I straight, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t panic. I can only assume that she always had feelings and an attraction to the same sex, but probably dated boys because that’s the main stream expectation, and she was still trying to sort her feelings out. I enjoy intimacy with a woman, but also enjoy company and companionship from a man. Unfortunately I have never found a man attractive, which is sad, the idea of doubling my wardrobe sounds very appealing. I guess I’m doomed to a life sentence of labia.

[@GG-ln3ft]

This was less funny than Hannah Gadsby which hardly seems possible.

[@Stolasupremecy]

Who

[@Allothersweretakenn]

Not sure which eye told me to click

[@OpEditorial]

Unresolved childhood trauma... laugh dammit!!

[@econojon]

Comedians in a nutshell

[@andrewhogan6533]

Imagine if she ate a banana

[@lmac0003]

Lol

[@sativarosegold3604]

I feel an obligation to finish these even though I'm wholly disinterested but speeding to 1.5 helps

[@fjw548]

😐😐🥱

[@marvinrobot962]

I used to be really attracted to boyish girls

[@Surreal469]

So how long have you been a priest?

[@Pimping9167]

Till you realize that they are lesbian lol

[@xOhrwurm]

Eyes like; 👁 👃 👁

[@WormholeGarden]

After the second utterance of "relaish" I was out. Like nails on a chalkboard.

[@cashmansmith8100]

Keep listening, she literally makes that joke the next line lmao

[@green444]

@@cashmansmith8100 it wasn’t worth it

[@nathanielyoungman4454]

@@cashmansmith8100 that would be the second utterance

[@Aryzo]

its like fbi interrogation music to my ears

[@Matt-bz9ru]

THE PERSON MADE A JOKE????????? IN A COMEDY SET???????????? WTF??!?!?!?!?

[@travelandhustle127]

Not even a smirk. But she sounds good for a podcast host

[@Leo-sd3jt]

If you watch British stand-up comedy, they do a lot more of these story type comedy things (not all British comedians do that but there's enough of them that I've noticed the difference). But, anyways, the punchline here was so good.

[@boazzippor1972]

a podcast host? you mean completely useless and irrelevant? yep.

[@Matt-bz9ru]

bro if u dont like it why even watch it?

[@travelandhustle127]

@@Matt-bz9ru how do you know if you like it, until you watch it?

[@Matt-bz9ru]

@@travelandhustle127 ez. if ur a bigot u wont like it so u can leave :)

[@timokangas6470]

Not my cup of tea. But i am glad she has so many fans.

[@jonhohensee3258]

Why are you glad?

[@Tential1]

This is why we need the dislike counter back, I want to see the ratio

[@nathanielyoungman4454]

But muh socialism and equity 😱

[@Matt-bz9ru]

@@nathanielyoungman4454 Tbh I dont think u even know what ur talking about lmao

[@LFshlevin]

women arent funny

[@Matt-bz9ru]

@@LFshlevinNuanced take. Gj

[@xtian384]

the most unfunny thing I've ever watched

[@Stolasupremecy]

Who

[@xtian384]

@@Stolasupremecy when

[@Stolasupremecy]

Asked

[@xtian384]

@@Stolasupremecy your mother

[@Stolasupremecy]

@@xtian384 Fr

[@johnnyreb1209]

It has all the appearances of a stand up comedy routine but without the comedy….

[@Matt-bz9ru]

I'll make sure to catch ur next set. I'm sure ur much better

[@johnnyreb1209]

@@Matt-bz9ru Yeah, the difference is Im not parading myself around as a "comedian" tho. It'd be like you insulting me for critiquing a car mechanic that doesn't fix cars...

[@Matt-bz9ru]

@@johnnyreb1209 nah more like tryna buy a ford at a honda dealership. If you dont like the product, leave. Dont stick around to be a dick about it lmao. Go watch jordan peterson and continue your decent into incedom :)

[@travelandhustle127]

@@Matt-bz9ru so apparently you go around shaming everyone who has a counter opinion of her comedic talents? Shame matt.....shame. seems like your the actual bigot.

[@johnnyreb1209]

@@Matt-bz9ru I did leave, but when you make dumb comments i get a notification. I guess you dont know how youtube works. And im not sure how creating a strawman and then misspelling your buzzwords is supposed to make me look bad??

[@yangi.f]

Thanks for your autobiography, wheres the joke?

[@powerhouse884]

Wait for it…….

[@rthomp03]

"You're the joke....later" - Mike Birbiglia

[@yangi.f]

@@rthomp03if only the comedian was as funny

[@Freesoul999]

Exactly and this person is having two awards, so I was curious to see this person's talent, but it seems like the laugh this person is getting is but forcing the audience to laugh

[@jonhohensee3258]

Not at all laugh inducing.

[@joedirt1417]

When someone txt or calls a brk up. It's because the other person is needy and will try to fix things. If you want to fix things you wouldn't brk up.

[@jawidofkoj2998]

This guy is not very funny

[@RIXRADvidz]

maybe after his balls drop and he sounds more like a man

[@Matt-bz9ru]

hahahahahahahhaha he said girl is boy bc of short haircut hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahaha

[@dglesterhardunkichud4017]

Don't quit your day job.

[@Matt-bz9ru]

@@boazzippor1972 bro how do u even get that hateful? Did u take a class? just click off the video wtf?

[@boazzippor1972]

@@taylor7326 i highly doubt it lol...i probably make in a week what she makes in a year...

[@boazzippor1972]

@@Matt-bz9ru it is a natural talent. i do teach classes if you are interested. i promise i will talk REAL slow so even you can understand...

[@timorean320]

I didnt laugh once.

[@boazzippor1972]

no one did. people pretend because, you know, it is not nice, this thing is gay and needs attention and positive feedback as it is obviously not able to do any real work...

[@timorean320]

@@boazzippor1972 I'm not saying it to be mean at all, I said it, because it's the truth. Sometimes people confuse the 2.

[@boazzippor1972]

@@timorean320 in 2021 telling the truth IS being mean. you want to fit in? admire her, give her a juice box and tell her she did great and that her participation trophy is in the mail...i, for one, am mean. and have no problem being mean. i identify as mean and my pronouns are mean meanie and meaning mean mean meaniest.

[@timorean320]

@@boazzippor1972 Lol, You are my kind. To live in a World where 1 can say "I identify as a pretty flower, look at me, smell me, (Joe Biden says "You know I will") water me, watch me grow", is totally fine, is no World I want to "fit in" to. You're no Daisy, you're no Daisy at all.

[@Matt-bz9ru]

lmao imagine being the person who comments this. Id fuckin end it tbh

[@clarenceworley8134]

This guy's name is Mae?

[@whiskeypixels]

Horrible "comedian"

[@denissharepo3353]

when funny? please timecode! greetings from siberia

[@ag4374]

Entertaining but where’s the jokes?

[@boazzippor1972]

you dont need jokes when you are gay. you will get the claplaudes even if you just stand there because "so brave" and such....

[@boazzippor1972]

lesbians can do comedy the same way straight men can decorate their home.

[@nathanielyoungman4454]

I just snorted 🤣🤣

[@JaneDoe-ci3gj]

So lesbians can do comedy brilliantly, good to know!

[@boazzippor1972]

@@JaneDoe-ci3gj so what is HER excuse? because she IS a lesbian, no? so she is THE ONE lesbian who is almost as funny as a can of baked beans?

[@Candyrock15]

@@boazzippor1972 look up Jessica Kirson

[@boazzippor1972]

@@Candyrock15 eh... ok... i did... put on four different clips... different shows...saw her make a stupid male voice to laugh at men.... heard a couple of dad jokes and fast forwarded a LOT of times, looking for ANYTHING even remotely entertaining but all i got is I AM A LESBIAN!!! I AM A LESBIAN!!! MY PARTNER IS A LESBIAN!!!! MEN ARE STUPID!!! I AM A LESBIAN!!!.... lol... sorry, but if THAT is your answer to "lesbians are not funny", well, color me unimpressed... sorry... NO.

[@Casablumpkin01]

Can anyone tell me how the set went after the "Decembs" punchline? I don't start making more of an effort to keep an open mind until 2022 starts.

[@Matt-bz9ru]

wow ur really cool and funny

[@nicnaknoc]

Did you start?

[@r8chlletters]

No one is in a “relache” what a weirdo 😂

[@bintox3633]

He’s not very funny

[@eggsandwichification]

Worst. Standup. Ever.

[@cheeseisdelicious111]

Wow. How is this comedy? It's just an unfunny person telling a boring story in front of an audience expecting a comedy show

[@DaveLynchWriter]

Not sure why everyone finds her so funny? 🤷‍♂️

[@jonhohensee3258]

That's not a question.

[@DaveLynchWriter]

@@jonhohensee3258 It identifies as a question and would be triggered if you suggest it's not.

[@jonhohensee3258]

@@DaveLynchWriter It's a statement.

[@windycl111]

BOOOOOOO

[@DeeDee-bm9hr]

Almost forgot this was a comedy bit if it wasn’t for the forced audience laughing

[@donepearce]

Why can gay people talk about nothing else? Then complain that other people don't just treat them as a human being (4:00).

[@heejjejesjejs]

Not all of us only talk about our identities. That's not what they were doing or saying lmao.

[@hive_indicator318]

The title of the video is about how their boyfriend broke up with them on speakerphone. It takes up a good portion of the set. How does that not count as talking about it?

[@Mcbutta89]

Woke comedy will never replace the legends lmao

[@brandedstoner]

If you ever try men, I am attractive to lesbians for some reason . . .

[@lordrefrigeratorintercoole288]

GDPR you are not supposed to say full names of folks you know or jave know. also, wake me up when the funny part starts i think this new comedians are just patients who dont wanna pay a psychiatrist.

[@ericswain4177]

It's sad that comedy, One seems to have more free speech than any other person or group these days. Two is so centered with and laced with propaganda overtones.

[@BeardedKayakFishing]

🤮

[@lucasoheyze4597]

It's not really comedy, just self-absorption