Man Can’t Believe How Much Disney World Charging For Sex With Goofy

[@DefileOdds]

And you know the guy you're railing in the suit is making minimum wage, corporate greed is disgusting!

[@HeldIntegral]

It's probably some Chinese kid with 3 jobs. Disney's outsource more often nowadays. Taking entry level jobs away from honest hard working American kids. REST IN PEACE Camp Rock

[@DefileOdds]

@@HeldIntegral THEY TOOK ER JOBS!!!

[@phoenixvance6642]

Goofy runs through half a dozen customers per hour for the whole day, 6fucks/1hr*$210*8hrs=$10,080 in a single day and he gets less than $100 for it all at min. Wage. No gratuity afaik. Absolutely sick.

[@blueberry5822]

LIAR ITS REALLY GOOFY IM GOOFING

[@yonatanchapal7800]

I hear they’re even taking a percentage pf the tips! Outrageous

[@literalantifaterrorist4673]

$160 to top goofy is INSANE!! of course bottoming for him is $120, which is just another example of anti-top discrimination

[@JeffBilkins]

that $120 is a gamble in the afternoon though, no fairy dust can keep that thing going all day

[@RomanesEuntDomus.]

Wait, why are you an Anti Fat Errorist??? Fat people have the right to exist!!!

[@herowither12354]

Goofy is a top, though. Bottoming causes him trauma, so the extra $40 is for his therapy bills.

[@Smell-O-Vision-Citrus]

If you actually took the time to learn about WHY the prices are the way they are, you'd know that the extra 40 bucks to top Goofy is REQUIRED BY LAW to subsidize the cost of all the Lube, flavored condoms, enemas, poppers, and STI tests the performers have to go through EVERY DAY. Someone paying to get topped by a disney mascot ONLY has to worry about the one performer's sexual health, but a disney mascot that's bottoming for parkgoers is usually taking somewhere between 70 and 110 cocks/strap-ons from strangers PER DAY. You just can't keep up that level of customer service without proper supplies and compensation. Tops are always trying to worm their way out of their fair share of the expenses, trying to blame bottoms for the price difference is TOTALLY MISSING THE POINT.

[@MrMangoTank]

$50 extra for a climax picture as well. Such a shame to charge folks for a happy memory.

[@TheEasilyBeatable]

John Green shouldnt have to pay at all, what a disgrace

[@hobodude7950]

Shit shit hit my soul

[@VincentGuillotine]

the john green copypasta is one of the greatest things that ever came out of tumblr

[@TheEasilyBeatable]

@@VincentGuillotine i have no idea what you’re talking about, my joke is about how this guy looks exactly like John Green

[@creator-link]

@@TheEasilyBeatableGoogle John green cock copypasta Then Google En Passant

[@matheussanthiago9685]

John Green survived cancer Survived the American health care system only to go bankrupt paying to fuck Goofy We used to be a proper country 😞

[@falconwind00]

Universal Studios is wild. You haven’t really lived until you’ve been spit roasted by two velociraptors. And only $40/hour.

[@theussmirage]

You haven't lived until you've done three Minions at the same time

[@table2.0]

This should be a cards against humanity card

[@ninyaninjabrifsanovichthes45]

Cocktimus Prime

[@windelingswindle6452]

**Insert Cavafly01 raptor footage**

[@CowboyPreston]

Best $120 dollars spent.

[@ryanh3176]

It’s 160 bucks just to get in the back door.

[@rangerjones5531]

😂👍🏻

[@darrennew8211]

I actually RL performed with a band at Disneyworld, going in the back door behind the river ride. It was pretty cool seeing all the stuff that's hidden behind trees and rocks and fake hippos, and seeing Mickey walking around without her head.

[@ryanh3176]

@@darrennew8211 Without her head?? Wow.. you’ve experienced something most of us can only dream of.

[@darrennew8211]

@@ryanh3176 Mickey's head was missing. The actor's head was intact. They patted you down for cameras before they'd let you out of the bus, just so headless Mickey wouldn't leak into newspapers.

[@ryanh3176]

@@darrennew8211 I guess I never thought that headless Mickey would be something the public would be interested in, but it makes sense.

[@KrwiomoczBogurodzicy]

Rampant capitalism. Profit over customer satisfaction. Shareholders don’t care about Walt Disney’s vision and legacy. Thank you, Obama!

[@CosmicCitiZenOfficial]

Goofie Roofie Profit

[@sheitanecalmas]

It's obvious that you don't realize that this video is parody. Help yourself to another glass of orange Kool-Aid.

[@Parciwal_Gaming]

you do knwo that Obama did more for Consumers than Trump or Biden, right?

[@story_marc]

@@sheitanecalmas ...I... I can't tell if you don't get that his comment is a parody as well... Like, this is a whole new level of /woosh if so.

[@absent_sucks]

​@@sheitanecalmascan you please go outside

[@vega7865]

The T Shirt is how they get you

[@amailman1409]

L😂

[@TheNewRobotMaster]

50 bucks for a T-shirt is pretty pricy, but pretty par for the course for branded goods

[@dugongsdoitbetter]

Or the 4 grainy digital pictures for$45 not including tax.

[@RenanDavidSoriaAhumada]

yeah they keep the pictures to "whitemail" you

[@jewelsverne9027]

and the $120 dollar encased bluray package and they bust you if you try to take pictures of the pictures with your phone

[@hedhuntervizo6749]

"I'll fucking do it again! Hyuk!"

[@ChickenPizza]

"The demons told me to!"

[@otiswalsh8923]

GUILTY‼️

[@tylerkovalskas9780]

This is the funniest thing I've heard about Goofy since Goofy's trial.🤣🤣🤣

[@hamletjahn]

I‘m doing this cause Micky cares about you…

[@hartwarg3051]

@@ChickenPizzaHyuk Tauh!

[@alhypo]

Now we know why Desantis is going after Disney. They raised the rates on his favorite activity.

[@Barrobroadcastmaster]

Gavin Newsome loves giving into Huey and Louie but not Dewey. He knows what he did.

[@matmorris8194]

I heard he met maxie on an island one time. hyuck

[@jewelsverne9027]

The only time Ronald and Gavin shake hands on something is while Eiffel towering Clarabelle Cow

[@richardthiele8363]

And DeSantis comes to Disney with his seductive go-go boots on! 😂

[@easyenetwork2023]

Trump was not there though. They don’t let orange people in.

[@HoodedStalker]

I know several Disney adults and this is exactly how I picture them

[@nietzschebietzsche]

Disney adults are oxymorons

[@nietzschebietzsche]

@Penny-mk7fv but you're not gonna tip off said Disney lawyers, right? Right...? ; )

[@Game_Hero]

@Penny-mk7fv To those curious, you can use copyrighted characters as long as it's done in parody sense of comedy, it's in the law, hence how the Simpsons used to get away with it when they weren't part of Disney.

[@jacksonsmith2955]

@Penny-mk7fv The onion has been telling shocking fake stories about politicians and corporations for 35 years without getting sued out of existence, they aren't in the slightest bit scared of the mouse. Worst case scenario they cry "freedom of speech" to the press and disney drops it immediately.

[@Schattengewaechs99]

If you know them, you don’t have to picture them, right?

[@tony_antony_lemony]

Literally 1984.

[@Drunkendrakon]

This is hilarous. I always show onion videos to my mom and she thinks they are real. I cant wait to see her reaction to this.

[@bjb7587]

She'll be so disappointed.

[@Hotchpotchsoup]

​@@bjb7587because of the prices i assume?

[@Seventytwodegrees]

Haha amazing!

[@nietzschebietzsche]

Sometimes I sit and play Onion news vids on my phone and watch them nonchalantly to see if people notice and they don't. It's made me realize that since 2016, people can't really be shocked by anything they hear on the news anymore 😅

[@herelieskittythomas3726]

I turn this on in the nursing home all the time. Especially at 5pm when the news comes on. I Bluetooth that shit.

[@Dan-yw2ku]

God how does he keep a straight face 😂

[@lordofligma]

Lots of of takes. It's hard to not bust at the memory of Goofy's gyatt.

[@Dan-yw2ku]

@lordofligma goddammit I laughed at this too 🤣

[@pingdingdongpong]

It is not the face that needs to be straight.

[@virtajo1]

Probably take 25 or something

[@Dan-yw2ku]

@pingdingdongpong Oh god it's another one 🤣

[@JMTRAVELS]

It used to be $40...

[@rangerjones5531]

Times are changing…🤷🏼‍♀️

[@thomasjacobs4919]

Back in my day, it was 2 bits and a bottle of hooch. The good ole days 😂

[@painkillerjones6232]

Yea, cig's were 50 cents a pack, gas a buck, and an ounce of weed was also 40 bucks, but it was Mexican...

[@somethingclever4297]

​@@painkillerjones6232back in my day, you could walk in a store with just a dollar and walk out with a loaf of bread, a couple candy bars, a comic and a pair of sunglasses. But now the stores have all these cameras.

[@cobaltno51]

back to bed with you, grandpa

[@boomtube7732]

Back at the tail end of 2022 Goofy’s head went for $19,000 at auction. They're clearly overvaluing him. It can't be that good.

[@rudra62]

$19K for head from Goofy???

[@lemonarque1505]

​@@rudra62 worth

[@dulguunjargal1199]

​@@lemonarque1505 It should be Mickey for how expensive that is but Goofy? The Founding Fathers would launch a Revolution instantly

[@lemonarque1505]

because they have to market literally everything about him, you can get mickey branded head at Disney world already. That's why goofy head is so rare.

[@jewelsverne9027]

@@rudra62 think about the gap in that buck teeth

[@michaelwinkler7841]

Railing Goofy for $160 is a good choice for most of our customers, we are sorry to hear you were not content with our services

[@adriennapeterson3604]

Id be willing to pay more! It's a magical experience 😋

[@StoutShako]

​@@adriennapeterson3604 YOU TWO ARE WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY

[@coocato]

@@StoutShakoFR the fact that people are remotely accepting of these outrageous prices at all is crazy

[@jameselliott216]

​@@StoutShako🤣🤣🤣😭😭💀

[@jameselliott216]

Posts in the Onion's comments *never* fail to deliver.🤣

[@caleblebaron1179]

the founding fathers would be so disappointment to see what the country has came to.

[@DanJuega]

it's the fault of inflation tbh. No way to see that one coming.

[@CannonRushed]

Do you mean Goofy in general or having to shell out 160 bucks to porn rail him?

[@HeldIntegral]

Damn right. Back in the day you could give Cinderella a Portuguese breakfast for as little as $12. Nowadays you'd be lucky to get a handy out of her while she scrolls tiktoc and she wouldn't have the common courtesy to give you a reach around

[@twagoner21]

get off my lawn

[@olaoluwaafolayan6554]

“What the country has came to” lol very clever 😂

[@AnimalMother60]

This is why I have my wife dress as Goofy. The upfront cost of the costume was pretty steep, but over time, it’s only a fraction of the price!

[@nathangamble125]

But then you're not _really_ fucking Goofy, are you. I bet your wife doesn't have a red rocket.

[@chiaracoetzee]

I really don't blame you. Back in the day, the actor behind Goofy did the authentic voice and brought a lot of realism to the experience, you really felt like you were there in one of his classic HBO cartoon shorts. But these days it could be anyone in the suit and you wouldn't even know the difference. Edit: Not blaming the actor to be clear! Disney used to shell out for top talent but nobody with actual serious adult entertainment industry experience would take the rates that they're paying now.

[@segamai]

A woman in the suit?? You are a sick man

[@xkidgey]

It's _the_ Goofy man what did you expect? If you want to bust on the cheap hit up Chuck E Cheese.. Charles will happily work within your budget!

[@catfree]

They don't offer that at the Chuck E Cheese near me sadly

[@painkillerjones6232]

You get more sleaze with the "Cheese"!!!

[@shytendeakatamanoir9740]

​@@catfreeIt's part of the secret menu. You need to know the right code.

[@catfree]

@@shytendeakatamanoir9740 Do you know the code for the locations in Colorado?

[@donjohnson1335]

​@@catfree You gotta put one of those handkercheifs from the prize counter in your back pocket. Of course they're a few thousand tickets, but that's capitalism for ya.

[@jake-wu2nq]

That's fucking disgusting. Corporate greed is destroying the america I fell in love with

[@blairhoughton7918]

It's fucking Goofy is what it is.

[@matmorris8194]

Garsh Mick, wanna do the hot dog dance again?

[@Blasted2Oblivion]

Im sorry...how much? That is absolutely a steal.

[@cuckoobrain7999]

Entitlement plain and simple

[@bergfruehling]

I don't think they get a full hour out of this.

[@RyenDeckard]

I agree, I think The Goofy Fuk N' Suk Experience ™ is EASILY worth 160$! Which, of course, is included with your stay at the Star Wars®Galactic Starcruiser - The Halcyon, and incredible and immesive themed star wars experience that seamlessly ties in your Goofy Fuck with the Universe of Star Wars®!

[@scouthatesrainbows]

Ok but you realize it was $75 pre COVID right? And that was per FAMILY. Like I get it, "fuck Disney adults", but that kind of price gouging is ridiculous no matter who's getting fucked (no pun intended).

[@misteral9045]

They peddling Goofy like he's only one step above a home depot lot lizard looking for a place to stay the night.

[@thelegonightwing]

At Universal Studios, it's only $35 bucks to rail all of the Simpsons.

[@TransistorBased]

Who cares about them when sideshow Bob is $20

[@Random-h1n]

55 for the whole Krusty cast tho

[@Grave_of_the_Sea]

Please tell me you don't mean ALL of the Simpsons... Just Homer and Marge, right?

[@toastgoats7545]

​@@Grave_of_the_Sea This is the entertainment industry we're talking about, you know it's all of them

[@thelegonightwing]

@@Grave_of_the_Sea no comment.

[@NatalieRar]

My husband's girlfriend went to Disney last summer and they didn't even provide free condoms anymore 😒 Customer service just isn't what it once was

[@cowyemrsox]

"My Husband's girlriend," we got female Barry McCockiner over here.

[@theussmirage]

My wife's boyfriend had a similar experiance, they're really fallen hard

[@zainmudassir2964]

Hope you are good relationship

[@amity.mp3]

I know, right?! I couldn’t afford to buy the condom on top of the experience, so I had to get tested for STDs. Now it’s confirmed that I have a bad case of The Goof, and i’m cursed to say “A-hyuck! Gawrsh!” each time I climax. This is absolutely horrendous customer service, and I want a refund

[@Atomo_the_otherworldy]

This is like seeing a rare animal in the wild. Usually it’s “my wife’s boyfriend this my wife’s boyfriend that”. It’s rare to see a person saying my husband’s girlfriend

[@hizzlemobizzle]

I remember when all you needed was an E ticket to take Goofy around the small world.

[@TransistorBased]

@@hizzlemobizzle c'mon, the D ticket joke was right there

[@Scarletpooky]

"So Micky, you're saying you don't like that Minnie is acting silly." "No, I said she's f***ing Goofy."

[@guyinc0gnito]

Can’t wait for the Jenny Nicholson video

[@aaronsarchive82]

👏👏👏

[@gohardorgohome6693]

She always has the real deets and doesn’t hold back

[@TransistorBased]

I heard Goofy had a hard time walking once she was done with him

[@kilojool4kuhd68]

we were promised an immersive goofy head experience, so much so that we would "sound like an old-timey work whistle by the end of it." *_We'll put a pin on that_*

[@MegadeathAdams]

You gotta have deep pockets to get deep in the dog, smh.

[@chasechilly9451]

Guh-hyuck, gorsh.

[@renatocorvaro6924]

Look man, inflation hits all of us, you can't just assume the prices are going to be the same as when you were a kid.

[@johnk6757]

I prefer this guy over actual Disney adults

[@ELTABULLO]

I would trust my goofy more on his hands than actual disney adults

[@cv5953]

On his hands and knees**

[@sgtfargant2126]

Gotta blame our economy; politicians don't care about the nation's debt and rising inflation. My next trip will be to Universal Studios, where I can get my money worth.

[@JonathanSicoli]

Inflation, you say...🤤

[@linkly9272]

@@JonathanSicoliGorsh! 😏

[@theussmirage]

Let's Go Brandon! Bring Disney back to the good old days of a $25 sloppy toppy!

[@matmorris8194]

Good thing we can still afford peanut butter. For now anyway

[@JonathanSicoli]

@@matmorris8194 Good news: Bolt cutters will allow you access to the dumpsters that folks throw out food into :)

[@gmgssilverplate]

The worst thing about this is when I got desperate enough to apply for the Goofy position for the summer, they told me I would only be making minimum wage ;/ I passed and went to Orlando studios, I make plennnnty of money as Harry Potter. I don't want to illustrate further.

[@ELTABULLO]

A well-worked wand I bet

[@hughcaldwell1034]

Is it true they partnered with Hitachi for the magic wands?

[@venk4898]

I bet you slept under the staircase a lot if you know what I mean

[@djsharkfartz]

How much to fuck a Harry Potter?

[@NealioFTS]

joe biden’s america

[@john2g1]

😂😅 Now that he dropped out I've stopped expecting this kind of rhetoric. Caught me off guard, literally laughing out loud.

[@rangerjones5531]

@@john2g1tip- he’s still the current president 🙄

[@agentxchannel6640]

Donald Trump's 'ethics'.. u know it.

[@尖嗓]

Vote for trump, he will made goofy prostitution great again!

[@paulis7319]

That's not true. If Biden had any way in this he'd give the twins a free pass.

[@DishKoba173]

How did this man not break character during this.

[@orijimi]

Well... jump cuts.

[@DishKoba173]

@@orijimi Oh yeah, that's right. :|

[@zaphodbeeblebrox9225]

@@DishKoba173they just edited out the times he totally lost it in a fit over those outrageous pleasure package prices!

[@DishKoba173]

@@zaphodbeeblebrox9225 Something else you have to question is how much would it cost to get down and dirty with Mickey Mouse?

[@cv5953]

Big price dip on railing Mickey raw ever since his earliest iterations went into public domain. Copyright law stifles innovation and encourages price gouging on vital products & services.

[@pingdingdongpong]

Inflation that causes deflation.

[@pr.yankadatl4]

jfc 😂😂😂

[@nepoleon92]

I’m never going back to Disney because of the price gouging. I’m just waiting for Universals new Epic Universe park so I can burry my seed into Frankensteins Bride while he watches, probably for less than 60 dollars.

[@aaronsarchive82]

Family memories to last a lifetime!

[@Jebu911]

Yeah but its a bummer universal closed the back to the future ride where one could have a wild time with doc, marty and her mom. Also biff was just 5bucks extra.

[@grantshearer9242]

I don't think the Goofy Gluck Gluck is worth it anymore

[@jimisru]

Peter Pan will meet you in the parking lot for $40. $10 more for tinkle bell.

[@saucecastillo460]

Nearly $700 to have a family of 4 rail goofy & you can't even spit on him? Disney is squeezing every little dollar, but not squeezing our balls dry. Looks like me & my family will be giving Mt Rushmore facials next summer.

[@Liminal-Galaxy-System6819]

LMAOOOO not Mt. Rushmore 😂🤣

[@samuelmelton8353]

Someone needs to play this over a Disney World speaker system. For public awareness.

[@megahog2000]

The Chip n' Dale + Dole Whip option sounds like the way to go!

[@TransistorBased]

It's actually become so popular they made it into the Chip and Dale whip package. They feed it to you while you're going to town

[@Ada-xo8br]

Wow. I remember when it was just $15! 😅

[@fall2zero]

yeah but the experience was lackluster then, i think the best time was when he was 18 dollars to top, that was where the most quality was in play

[@cv5953]

It used to just be a single B ticket

[@themroc8231]

It's important to point out that none of this is the fault of the Disney character actors: this is yet another story of a greedy multi-billion dollar company exploiting something beautiful and innocent for money. As a matter of fact if you happen to know someone who plays Goofy in a Disney theme park you should absolutely share this video with them to let know the service they provide is acknowledged and appreciated. Character acting, like all s** Work, is work, and we stand by them in solidarity.

[@am-lo1pz]

I'm sorry, I can't like your comment because you currently have 69 likes and given this video obviously I can't ruin that

[@ax8924]

The Onion is adapting well.

[@godferbidd6262]

Soon it will be to expensive to clap SpongeBob's crabby patties.

[@matmorris8194]

Bro, thats always been too expensive. What kind of rich are you?

[@aruanmello9320]

the american dream has failed you

[@khallok8689]

This is the best thing you’ve guys have posted in a while 😂😂😂

[@EvanBlack11]

The Hulk wanted $400 to get Smashed, and this was raw with no lube. Lube was an upcharge.

[@pokemongo-up3rq]

Go to six flags. The whole family can rail Bugs Bunny for 60 bucks. Well worth it.

[@KingoftheJuice18]

When "Sex with Goofy" becomes the cleanest part of a video. Talk about inflation.

[@gibbons9599]

Not even a student discount for the twins? Absolute insanity

[@Jemasonj]

I have to give that guy props for delivering those lines and not cracking up once

[@RobbZipp]

Welcome back, The Onion! This was hilarious!

[@RenanDavidSoriaAhumada]

0:16 210 its cheaper than Disney's StarCruizer

[@dylan4125]

$160 for Goofie is a bit overpriced, but $50 for a shirt?

[@opal817]

they're made in America. We don't need China to outsource our rimjobs.

[@Maxamegalon2000]

Are they printing it on demand right there, though?

[@Xavier_Diabolu]

Disappointed in Jenny Nicholson for not addressing this in her video.

[@SlapstickGenius23]

Jenny Nicholson from Canada will address it belatedly, but she’s now making another long video, so I don’t think we’ll hear her fully respond to it until her long future video gets made.

[@togekissbliss]

Babe wake up! The Onion uplaoded!

[@mark9294]

It’s so outrageous. I hope this goes viral so we can all stick it to the man.

[@treverfarted]

I hate to admit it, but this new change to the Goofy F&S may be partially because of my actions. What I did on my last Disney trip is so dark I’ve been forced into a life of making public apology videos in an attempt to repent for my sins. I have apologized over 80 times in hopes that Disney, the public, and my family would accept my ability to change, and grow, and move forward - but it has been to no avail. I’m incredibly sorry, and I hope soon the pendulum will swing back and things can progress the way they were intended. Long live Disney, long Goof America.

[@arifhossain9751]

What Did You Do?

[@flibbityjibbity]

What did bro do

[@mistermaestersirthomas9164]

What part of the NDA did you not understand? They’re going to sue your pants off, this time for twice the amount!

[@juliusapriadi]

I forgive you

[@bjb7587]

Doesn't ring true.

[@jamesmackey1238]

The shirt is normally included, 50 extra?! What is this, Spirit Airlines?!

[@CoolHandMikeYT]

props to doing that skit with a straight face!

[@willj1598]

I gotta say, I'm more of a SpongeBob fan but Universal's prices have gotten out of hand too. Especially for "off menu" activities like this.

[@modera.torrent_]

They do have a discount for bottoms. Once you go goof, you never again poop. Or so they say 🤷‍♂️

[@hamletjahn]

You know my cousin was born in Disney World and he gets 50% off with Goofy

[@Michael-pp8lz]

I hope Disney resolves this issue. My dog wants action too but he doesn't have 160 on him.

[@apolloniakageaki1711]

Never have I even considered the concept of such a video. Onion making bangers as always xDD

[@laika6661]

Holy fuck that last "gorsh" just sent me over the top. Im still recovering.

[@RockfordRoe]

They still let you creampie Bugs and Daffy for free at Six Flags surprisingly enough.

[@matmorris8194]

Dont tell everybody

[@whimsicalhamster88]

I always heard from my dad that it came with the price of admission. Thanks Obama!

[@grantshearer9242]

I heard they just recycle your fluids for the water rides!

[@kanden27]

Dreamworks is where the love is.

[@somethingclever4297]

Turns out farquaad wasn't over compensating.

[@nullvoid3545]

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

[@beamboy07]

Back in 07 it was 35 bucks and no waiting

[@KyleHarrisonRedacted]

“Steamboat Willie that sounds fun” “oh it’s fun. …for youuuuu…”

[@matt.stevick]

dude. bro. i can’t express my admiration for the onions style of humor, it is it’s own category, a goat lol

[@EvanBlack11]

Every Brothel at Epcot now charges almost double. I didn’t fly all the way from the Midwest to the Florida, Philippines in Orlando to get ripped off. I even took the monorail to Bangkok and was left dry. Get it together Disney!

[@_mnl_]

The Onion's so back

[@bentobias737]

Kevin Perjurer warned us about this.

[@antinatalope]

Weird. It never cost me a thing to be f***ing goofy.

[@devilsfavorite999]

Unbelievable.

[@utubercouchvegetable2172]

Glad steamboatwillie is a free agent again

[@christopherleveck6835]

You guys have gotten a little bit edgy.....and i like it.

[@thehuman2cs715]

This is pretty par for the course for the Onion, maybe slightly more absurd

[@joycekoch5746]

Ariel is even more expensive.

[@sillyone52062]

Sheesh, go to Vegas.

[@rangerjones5531]

Time Square has super heroes and those wierd people who act like statues…😉

[@abbycross90210]

Inflation, amirite? THANKS BIDEN.

[@MrChase115]

Moana won’t even do the “gurgling” sound for any less the $85 these days. 😢

[@ryanrockers]

Woke Disney has gone too far

[@bjb7587]

DeSanctimonious was right.

[@neverenoughguitars8276]

LMAO. I'll be amazed if this video is still up by tomorrow.

[@darrennew8211]

Onion is probably wealthy enough to hire a lawyer.

[@neverenoughguitars8276]

@@darrennew8211 What does being able to afford a lawyer have to do with anything? You tube decides what exists on their platform and can remove any video for any reason that they choose. It's in the terms of service. I hope it doesn't happen though, because this video is great!

[@darrennew8211]

@@neverenoughguitars8276 Fair enough. Disney is the traditional litigious corporation, to the point of Mickey wiping out people who dis him is a meme. It didn't occur to me KZbin would take it down on their own.

[@neverenoughguitars8276]

@@darrennew8211 Oh you thought I mean Disney would want it taken down. I don't think they can do anything about this since no Disney ip is shown or heard.

[@darrennew8211]

@@neverenoughguitars8276 They can't legally do anything about it. But if they went to some poor individual and threatened to drag them thru the courts, they'd win by default if the other guy couldn't afford to put up a fight. That was my point.

[@appliedmaps]

Thanks, DeSantis!

[@KamiRecca]

bringing the real news here

[@keiretsu1]

John Green? Is that you??

[@user-hw9lm8jv7o]

In Tokyo Disneyland it’s ¥15,000 which is only $102! We’d better go to Japan

[@matmorris8194]

I too scared of the hyuck-uza

[@hawk222]

$160 per person and they won't even let you hawk tuah?! This is madness!

[@Jeff-tt7wj]

They just raised the price on the Jasmines magic carpet munching experience but I’d say it was still worth it.

[@christopherleveck6835]

I've got two words for you..... Marine World.

[@JacekPaszkoAMV]

I want to imagine some sick action with delphins, but only thing I can think of is fire at the Sea Park

[@Anonymous36]

Noooo

[@rudra62]

Try the Parrot Jungle.

[@HeldIntegral]

True. I sent my son went to parrot world last year. For a modest $70 you can use one as a fleshlight and they say the freakiest things too

[@rudra62]

@@HeldIntegral EEEEW!

[@jewelsverne9027]

Nothing will beat the og Universal days in the 2000s where the 100mph Hulk Handys, Dr. Doom vertical PileDriver, and 4D Spiderman web fluid in your face were all included in a neat $60 bundle for returning customers. The fast passes actually worked too!!!

[@Flamableninja]

Leave it to Disney to price gouge the ass gouging.

[@elanasilverman4468]

lolololololol!!!! OMG you *MASTERED* the format!!! Thank you, Onion, for being you and thank you, sir, for so unstintingly taking on that role. Especially given the amount of ick.

[@Leinen-ld5pt]

*DONT BRING CHIP AND DALE TO THIS 😡🤬*

[@dashx1103]

That is too much. $160 for a BJ by Mary Poppins … maybe. But that kind of coin for Goofy? Hard pass.

[@j.albuquerque9274]

So... How much for Belle and Ariel?

[@arx3516]

500-1k

[@ZiddersRooFurry]

Given their ages, 10-20 in prison.

[@adrianaslund8605]

Eww that's sick dude. It's like having sex with a woman. It's basically just prostitution at that point. Which is illegal and not what the Disney experience is about.

[@nathangamble125]

@@ZiddersRooFurry Buy can't you just get more sex for free at Disney prison?