Expert Wasted Entire Life Studying Anteaters

Today Now! host Jim Haggerty consoles a severely depressed zoologist on the latest Critter Corner installment.
More coverage at: onion.com

[@jodiebug1]

As my PhD draws to a close, I think of this frequently. Update, 3y later: I finished my PhD and had the courage to leave academia to do stuff I think is more important 😃

[@nosuchthing8]

That's the point of advanced studies. To make you able to withstand the boredom and drudgery of the work world. The actual topic doesnt matter.

[@jodiebug1]

​@@nosuchthing8 So true. Unless of course the whole thing was for nothing.

[@forlornhope1116]

And what is it really for in the end? What does it mean? It's a simple question. Ask yourself if you are happy. And answer honestly, because lying to yourself - you may find you've wasted a decade and a half on ant eaters. If not, then ask yourself what will make you happy - regardless of pay (western materialistic/capitalistic vanity - I worked hard all my life with my life passing me by just to have stuff around me, that means nothing in the end) prestige of title (which means what in the end?) or what you may think you can change as an individual (noble, yet unrealistic) - and when you find what that is that will make you happy, do that.

[@vf12497439]

Dont waste your precious time on something that doesn't interest you. Oh yeah, this is good money... this project will give me the background to go further. I wake up and I'm 47 years old, I dream of giving monkeys crack cocaine and knives. If I'm lucky they will come after me to end my torture. I thought I was doing important work and come to find out all we were doing was increasing the size of the magnifying lens to burn bugs with. If those fuckers want me, I'll be in a cabin in Lincoln Mt.

[@Mii.2.0]

@@vf12497439 You seem fun at parties.

[@MetalizedButt]

Their acting is gold. The interviewer is trying so hard to make the interview go smoothly lmfao

[@nextlevelbjj3083]

The fact that it’s fake it hard to realize

[@SOMEONE-eq5bu]

NextLevel BJJ why you suspect it’s fake

[@Rille922]

S O M E O N E it literally is fake

[@SOMEONE-eq5bu]

Rilind Bardoniqi i think yeah after some research to his name and his book I couldn’t find it anywhere in internet

[@SOMEONE-eq5bu]

The video is very old though it’s from 2008 It seemed to be true but who knows anything could happen in this world

[@therealdevcat]

It's crazy that this video is about to turn 15. Someone could have lived with and studied anteaters for the amount of time this has been out.

[@flameofmage1099]

Lol I noticed it too

[@therealdevcat]

@@flameofmage1099 I can't wait for the anniversary.

[@dontletmememandie6506]

Lmao you’re right. I wouldn’t have noticed

[@schneestern3022]

wdym the guy already did exactly that

[@joshwekony8861]

This is a comedy skit lol, not real

[@Supahpowahnerd890]

It reminds me of the 4Chan user back in 2016 who ranted about how he's the world's greatest expert on Edmund Husserl, an Austrian philosopher. He was 36 years old, 43 years old now, and wrote a 1,500 page biography of his life and work that has been rejected countless times because Husserl isn't considered relevant anymore. He hasn't been able to get any jobs at universities because all he really knows is Husserl. Anon works two minimum wage jobs to stay afloat.

[@bobbyologun1517]

jfc

[@Shift8YawnsShift8]

ok idc

[@yeshuaislord6880]

Damn imagine being expert in 1 person. That's kinda erm sad

[@st.zahren5683]

least deranged husserl fan

[@faizyusuf2470]

Oh wow, I think I had heard of this story before. Was it a guy in his mid 30 that said the only jobs he can get with philosophy major is working at McDonald?

[@jaxkal9596]

I didn't need to study anteaters to waste my life

[@Penny-wl1ui]

jiale chen I Second that

[@fishbuddy547]

Mood

[@mikeymcmikeface5599]

Yes. We can easily do that right here on KZbin watching videos like this. Although this was painful to watch...

[@DanyIsDeadChannel313]

I third that

[@DanyIsDeadChannel313]

This guy was reminiscing his whole life on that sofa.

[@dale6505]

“I didn’t bring an Anteater; I told your producers I did so they wouldn’t bring one” 😂😂😂

[@reaganhutchins3058]

XD

[@TechWithSean]

He’s playing 4D chess

[@TheChadPad]

He's so done with anteaters xD

[@jawhoneytv]

That’s amazing writing

[@kyupified2440]

@@TechWithSean checkmate bruh

[@Moondog911]

This hits different right now as it's 5am and I'm still in the lab looking at an incredibly niche fungus that nobody but other academics will ever care about :/

[@bigbuba5212]

Fungi are extremely interesting Maybe what you're studying will be the next penicillin Who knows

[@stupidas9466]

Psst…the other academics don't and will not care about it either. Sorry, but it needed to be said 😢

[@Moondog911]

Sad but true. Impact factor of 0.0001

[@LVega_]

Weird flex but okay

[@AdmiralBison]

I look at Science this way. - Big spectacular buildings made from countless small dull bricks. Mundane and unsung research done such as yours, may hold keys to unforeseen, startling Scientific discoveries and advancements in the future. Would anyone today want to research out a formula for getting the long side of an oddly shaped triangle? No, because that would be boring as hell, but we sure can thank people like Pythagoras having spent too much of their time figuring it out and society benefits from it. Even if you find nothing, you still contribute to the pool of Scientific knowledge. Edit. Also wasn't Penicillin developed from research of Fungi and some Fungi can have anti-cancer properties?

[@Burgerss]

"They are all going to die soon" I can't fathom how sad it must be to waste your life on the most boring animals ever

[@izv3174]

Yeah, seems he is just hoping for them to be extinct.

[@elfascisto6549]

They aren't more boring than most animals are

[@purplexs2506]

I don't have the reference off hand, but there was in fact a biologist who spent years studying the land-snails native to Hawai'i. Which not long afterwards were driven to extinction by a competing invasive snail species.

[@TheBanjoShowOfficial]

No that’s gotta be the sloth

[@idkwtcm984]

Sloths and koalas have got to be many times more boring.

[@azark.973]

"I found the book to be very interesting myself-" - "That's surprising me." Pure gold.

[@oz_jones]

The acting is Oscar-worthy. They nailed the morning shows down to a t.

[@BillyMcBean.]

i think my dad wouldn't even laugh at this maybe my mom but she watches disney channel cause "its clean comedy".

[@umsfmercenary3910]

@@oz_jones To an A.... for anteater.

[@codyjohnson6427]

@@BillyMcBean. my dad would think it's real

[@readthycomment]

Imagine being a species where the only expert about you, hates you. So much.

[@1327bulldog]

That is the perfect way to sum up being a lower enlisted soldier in the army. Your species is called "joe" and your expert, LT & NCOs, despise you with extreme prejudice.

[@MoizRafay]

Katawa shoujo! Changed me

[@mazinombies4752]

[@Engel1410-CR]

Lily best girl!

[@S197_Team]

Lilly Satou it’s fake

[@ajsap8160]

Graduates saying they fear this happening to them, here is the real kicker. Right at the end, regardless whether you do something with your life or not, you're probably going to have a similar realization about many aspects of your life.

[@johngoldsworthy7135]

Underrated comment. few people have the balls to admit this to themselves

[@davidec.4021]

Yup. Most (or at least, many) people waste their life similarly. Look at how many spend 12 hours in an office. It is no different

[@bingomachine]

​@@davidec.4021 One of my best friends told me what he started doing for work (sorting some random files for an attorney or something for 8 hours a day) and I'd rather live in the forest than to that for 40 years. 😂😂

[@KP-by4eu]

@@davidec.4021 i think you forgot the purpose of a job is to make money so you can survive, and do other things you want. That's the alternative to hunting and risk getting killed by tigers or lions back in the old days. So yes, I'd pick a boring job over that any day.

[@SuperXzm]

@@KP-by4eu "Remember that stack of printer paper?" "It was a good hunt..."

[@TillyOrifice]

Charles Darwin spent 8 years studying barnacles. After which he said, "I hate a Barnacle as no man ever did before".

[@smaptey1]

barnacles are so gross. 8 years? I can't even look at them in a picture

[@Neo2266.]

“That’s what I told your producers so they wouldn’t bring one”

[@longphan7656]

Neo2266 thinking ahead of time, atleast he learned something from those 15 years

[@Nottoriuz]

@@longphan7656 You people really believe this is real? As in like it's not some sort of sketch or scripted comedy? Wow...

[@ulrichfunk6122]

@@Nottoriuz r/wooosh

[@mattyicicles1608]

this man really fucking hates anteaters lmfao.

[@ddame5925]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@user-qp5mq9uz1n]

”Thats an interesting name. What does tamandua means?” ”Catcher of ants” ... ...

[@Gabriel-zx3ge]

I'm from south america and I had no idea it meant that, pretty interesting to me Lol

[@Luke_H.]

@@Gabriel-zx3ge thats cause its not true. The tamandua is unique and only means anteasters. Also, did you know there are four different species?

[@Gabriel-zx3ge]

@@Luke_H. yes, where I live there's only one species but there are more of them in other regions

[@DaviSilva-oc7iv]

Bruh tamandua comes from a native language of Brazil called Tupi and means "toothless type of mammal" literally that means anteater. In Portuguese tamandua also means anteater

[@bluedaylight1243]

@RikkiTikkiTavi gk nyambung ya

[@BabySlayer13]

This acting is beyond Oscar worthy it literally felt like he wasted 15 years studying ant eater 😂

[@themasstermwahahahah]

Every PhD student 3 years in:

[@mattyicicles1608]

Holy crap I died when the anteater came on screen and he goes “oh God”.

[@ELITEXSHADOW]

m77yice killem i swear i thought it was a cut out from the office of michael saying oh god 😂

[@fady7013]

he was like: ahh shit, here we go again..

[@CaveyMoth]

It's so relatable... Whenever I see an x-ray, I think, "oh God."

[@FoxtrotGolfLima]

it sounds so genuine lmfao

[@FloppyDiskMaster]

I think about that part a lot and burst out laughing at inappropriate times

[@Angelnumber27]

I lost it when he monotonously said “catcher of ants.”

[@metalheroify]

I was wiping away tears from exactly that when I saw your comment. Best single second of the entire video

[@artmeatj6620]

Agreed

[@peteragurkis3590]

The pause afterwards too

[@isthiswhereiputusername3311]

Same omg

[@narcissismisadisease]

Oh god.

[@chickenindoubleC]

As an academic, I see this as more of a warning not to make any career your entire life, because regardless of what you do, it's a fickle way to cultivate meaning. You could be a janitor or have any other undervalued, "meaningless" profession, but your life could still hold more meaning than heads of states and CEOs. Live and love well, my friends!

[@bingomachine]

This problem doesn't only pertain to academia. Only being an expert in some hyper niche thing only 100 people in the world can grasp and mopping the same fucking floor for 30 years both suck. 😂😂

[@maddieb.4282]

@@bingomachinewhose life doesn’t suck? Few of us. Which is why it’s important to create your own meaning internally so your external circumstances don’t matter to your fulfillment and happiness. THAT was their point.

[@LuizAlexPhoenix]

If you get sick on a janitor's pay you are likely not going to see much life anyway.

[@AdmiralBison]

Yeah, I guess one can get meaning and value from almost anything, regardless of if others see it as mundane. It's like those may derive peace and satisfaction correcting, balancing data and accounts all day.

[@yeshuaislord6880]

@@LuizAlexPhoenix If you think about it like this, if you live shorter life then your significant parts of life represent a greater % of your life than some ultrawealthy person living 200 years. So if we think positively like that, then actually, it's not too bad

[@blackandblueeagle]

I think perhaps the funniest part is the way the anchor valiantly tries to recover the interview by creating some smidgeon of intrigue, and he never stops trying even when it’s clear that it’s a total trainwreck.

[@Justin_Joy]

He spent 15 years with anteaters so we wouldn't have to. Careful, he's a hero.

[@Smiley957]

Couldn’t have said it better

[@wadegameshd1444]

Lol

[@birddaddydetta]

K

[@dreamadventure8220]

comment section is always the best

[@tadhgfitzsimons4707]

@Sol Maq that gets a golden up imo

[@rlyons6654]

"catcher of ants." *silence* lol

[@lucasv.7658]

Robert Lyons in Venezuelan XD

[@willinton06]

Lucas V. The best part is that it means that in some tiny parts, the rest of us speak English

[@JonatasAdoM]

@@lucasv.7658 In Brazilian too xD

[@JonatasAdoM]

That's actually what their name means!

[@thrashingpanic]

@@lucasv.7658 It is kind of Venezuelan as it is Tupi. So it is more Venezuelan than Spanish is.

[@timberwolfdtproductions3890]

I was close to giving up my lifelong passion for the study of the history and socio-economic significance of pitchforks until watching this inspirational video. Thanks Onion!

[@user-qd4td7yb8e]

Better than women's studies.

[@K2ELP]

​@@user-qd4td7yb8ebecause you never get too fuck any?

[@ZacksRockingLifestyle]

Would you mind discussing the effects of industrialized farming on the future significance of pitchforks? (/s) lol

[@timberwolfdtproductions3890]

@@ZacksRockingLifestyle Working on my thesis right now. I'll keep you posted.

[@redtpc8194]

@@timberwolfdtproductions3890 that lowkey sounds kinda interesting

[@IBeComfy]

I have spent the past fifteen years with anteaters in tribute to this man.

[@bigbuba5212]

Do you hate them yet

[@purrfekt]

I have spent the past 15 years without anteaters in tribute to this man.

[@JoCE2305]

Even though this is fake I actually feel bad

[@imploud]

How did you find it out that it is a fake?

[@unyxium]

Because The Onion makes fake videos like this

[@JMill-bs6xt]

Michael P dont make me say it

[@chillestplays4034]

J.Mill okay boomer

[@JMill-bs6xt]

ChillestPlays yep that’s exactly what I was going to say lmao

[@okrajoe]

No. Why in the world would I want to bring an anteater?

[@monster-tc1nz]

"Well you said you'd bring an anteater" "No i just told your producers i'd bring an anteater so they wouldn't bring one"

[@myemailaccount3046]

HahahahahahahahahahA

[@JB-xl2jc]

2:06 “Oh, god...”

[@randommanny7659]

oh no

[@godofwater1234]

Very Larry David

[@theawemazingcrew9702]

Amazing acting. I had to come to the comments to double check this was fake. I felt so bad for this guy. My heart mourned for his wasted years. Seriously, better acting then you would see in most TV shows. I think it would've been really hard to convey so many negative defeated emotions here, so I just wanted to drop a little appreciation comment:)

[@melody3741]

Unusually emotional comedy is my favorite. I hate family guy but stuff like the serviceman imagining his whole life with Peter just fucking gets me. The combination of emotion and hilarity is just so funny to me

[@calisongbird]

It’s not “fake,” it’s “satire.” Satire is a form of comedy. How does anyone still not know that The Onion is satire??? They’ve been around since the Stone Age.

[@theawemazingcrew9702]

@@calisongbird I know what satire is man. Yes it's satire. It's also fake. Most satire is fake. Fake is literally defined as "not genuine"

[@kookkookkookkook8863]

omg thanks for telling, i genuinely thought this was real, because everything emotional i see on yt these few years have the comments backing up the 'issues' brought in the videos. The comments i see on this video too are talking abt scientists like this in real life only too, so I was there emotionally in the issue described

[@alphomega2459]

@@calisongbird calm down lad

[@charliekatchat6488]

Oh my god. This is so well done. It took me until I went to the comments to realize it’s from the Onion. I felt bad for this guy, now I realize he’s just a really, really, really good actor.

[@SRBOMBONICA86]

He is phenomenal actor ,it's insane ,much better than many Oscar winners

[@Ziggy_Stark.]

"Don't apologize. I'm the one who wasted my life on this."

[@davidortiz3094]

Lmfao

[@calebwindow1174]

;-;

[@guybrushthreepwood9071]

I'm gonna put that on my gravestone

[@untamedfox35]

@@guybrushthreepwood9071 Lmao, I hope you find true happiness some day. 😂🖤

[@Deschutron]

the last frame

[@billwilliams4748]

It felt....like the physical manifestation of 15 years of boredom....came into being. #POETRY

[@emanuellopez8578]

Me at the school amirite boys 😂😂😂😂👌👌👌👌

[@juzace8078]

@@emanuellopez8578 Hahahah fuck you

[@alphasuperior100]

True what a wonderful way to analogize his feelings.

[@philipreisler3323]

"Don't apologize I'm the one who wasted my life on this" 😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣

[@davidmella1174]

@@emanuellopez8578 when you finally get a diploma after all those years (your name is written wrong)

[@Shawn_White]

Well It's been 15 years I think the onion should bring him back on to find out what he did with the next 15 years of his life.

[@Robbyrool]

Ironically, he convinced himself to continue to study anteaters for another 15 years to make it an even 30 and also to see if he could find anything interesting about them. Turns out… no, he couldn’t. Now he’s really kicking himself for doing it again.

[@michaelchen2718]

This is still without a doubt one of their greatest videos of all time.

[@kirtically5497]

*anteater appears on screen* "Oh god"

[@seanism3]

I’m gonna comment just cause I can

[@user-fl7zn2tn9q]

The horror

[@timhawley3721]

I wAtChEd ThE vIdEo ToO!

[@theripper631]

@@timhawley3721Host:"Their not cute??" Expert"no their not cute "

[@kirtically5497]

@@seanism3 I'm gonna say thanks bud just cuz I can.

[@glittery_cucumber]

This is probably the most well acted parody I have ever seen.

[@bickieditch9168]

You haven't seen a lot of the onion have you

[@steelyspielbergo]

There's nothing parodic about this. I just wanted to say parodic. The word just came to me and I wondered if it might be a real word, and it is!

[@ZeranZeran]

No they're not cute.

[@LegoGoblin]

yeah the way he choppily breathes in at the end really adds the realistic emotion

[@goofy8937]

It’s not a parody...? Fucker hates ant eaters

[@Broseftoast]

I just realized upon the second time watching this, when he mentions that the ant eaters are “endangered and all going to die soon,” he says it with this BARELY visible split second smirk and look at kinda hidden satisfaction. It’s because he hates them so much after having to spend his entire life with them he wants to see them all die 😂. The smallest details.. the onion always delivers lol

[@g.r.2985]

This is bar none the most interesting and motivating things I’ve watched all year, thanks!

[@DuncanUdaho67]

His “Oh god” when they rolled the footage is gold.

[@MAxAMILLIoN757]

I shit myself, he just can’t escape the ant eaters man lmao

[@JackJackKcajify]

yea when we saw the anteater and he hates it its so funny lmao. great skit

[@MyYTaccountName]

That was my favorite part. I chuckled.

[@cristianmontesdeoca7392]

God*

[@DuncanUdaho67]

@@cristianmontesdeoca7392 isn’t real

[@LeftIsBest001]

"No they're not really that interesting, certainly not after the first FIVE YEARS..." 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@CaveyMoth]

It's just like raising children or being married in general.

[@yourvirtualdad]

2:17 "fifteen years."

[@oiltycoonbillionaire]

LMAO

[@LordZero666]

I had a language teacher at college that studied some latin verbal forms for years. His PHD supervisor told him there wasn't anything to be found and that it was a waste of time. He did it anyway and lost a decade of his life. It amounted to nothing. It can and does happen irl.

[@NUSORCA]

It would only be a waste of time for him if he didn’t enjoy the journey

[@M3ta1]

This is what I feel like my PhD will be like.

[@deaddirtycarnie]

It's academia in a nutshell. Embrace it.

[@najeyrifai1134]

Yeah, there's a guy in my department who's an expert in Cadmium or something like that. You can really see it in his eyes. He probably dreams about the fucking stuff!

[@iammaxhailme]

I'm 4 years into my PhD and yeah it is and I want to quit and go be a farmer or something.

[@SouthpawZer0]

Najey Rifai Well, cadmium is a vital component of quantum dots ... yet another material that can do everything except leave the lab.

[@human_bing]

M3ta1 I have a PhD in cleaning drains.

[@johnzackarias11]

Can we give some attention to the guy who plays the host? Every piece he does, he performs flawlessly, and I laugh at him just as much as I laugh at everything else in the sketches.

[@RicochetAQW]

Ikr finally someone else acknowledges how good he is.

[@As-yx3pz]

Seriously, how did they managed to find all the good actors while high budget films can hardly ever have one?

[@asmodeus1234]

He killed it this time. When it ended, and he just looked at the camera in silence. My favorite part.

[@johnzackarias11]

@@asmodeus1234 Amazing!

[@charlesn.2881]

He's a pig.

[@RobManser77]

I love the tortured look of remorse on his face as he speaks about his experience. What a great actor 😀

[@thenome3156]

It's been 15 years since this interview. The anticipated anteater sequel should be out any day.

[@finn4593]

Imagine a scientist that purely studies anteaters is watching this and finally realizes how boring their job is

[@esphilee]

I don’t think they have reception in the rain forest.

[@giancarlopiroli7166]

What’s funny is there are experts like this out there. I once watched a documentary that had an interview with a “moth expert”. A fucking moth expert.

[@finn4593]

Giancarlo Piroli lol 😂

[@jeffbenton6183]

@@giancarlopiroli7166 Moths are incredibly diverse and fascinating

[@apoorww1veteran994]

Giancarlo Piroli it’s usually more broad than that, the most specific it would get would be groups of species like birds or insects or mammals something along those lines.

[@Tiger66261]

I love how hard the host tries to keep the interview rolling

[@neelav2394]

Tiger66261 r/whoosh

[@ElectrifiedBacon]

+N337av G#o5h there is no whoosh to be found.

[@neelav2394]

Goat Boi ofcourse there is! That person actually thought it was for real and they were actually trying hard to keep at it.

[@incongruous4]

Are you new to reddit? All of it is retarded

[@wgatevans3017]

Keep your reddit bullshit in that shit site, Nobody cares that you are all vergins

[@michaelku9977]

“It felt like the physical manifestation of 15 years boredom came into being”. Best. Line. Ever.

[@nat0106951]

Talking about wasting 15 years of life wasted? I have been watching youtube since 2006. 18 years!

[@random_name3977]

This should be a mandatory watch for anybody considering embarking on a PhD...

[@MrTPF1]

I was already howling over the video and the other comments and then I came to yours! 😭😭😭

[@webstime1]

Was this your experience?

[@CarboKill]

I'm reminded of the Brian May quote "Astronomy's much more fun when you're not an astronomer," whenever I think of my time doing Astrophysics. I had to leave for mental health reasons before even getting my undergraduate degree, but I was sort of relieved.

[@6023barath]

@@CarboKill That's a really interesting quote. Astrobiology and astrophysics were the driving force for my choosing physics but then suddenly I lost interest in it. Other "lesser known" parts of physics sound more interesting these days.

[@AssBlasster]

@@CarboKill Oh man, this is a pretty solid quote. I love astronomy and currently doing my PhD, but I also HATE doing the scientific workload of research. There's so much stress over minor details. I'm looking to teach/talk about astronomy to the public as my future career.

[@loversandlosers]

I’m terrified of choosing the wrong college major and ending up like this guy. edit: yes, i understand the joke smh

[@jgw9990]

A guy I know did a History PHD on use of stamps in medieval Europe. It's a very real possibility, be careful!

[@philosophicalaesthetic6152]

Pick any major and become like this guy

[@slappy8941]

Study finance and get rich.

[@yukihirarin3387]

People who did something like this is at least passionate and happy of what they did, tbh.

[@milkboccle]

Half of people end up doing something different anyway, the main qualification proves you stick at something until the end and by the end you should be dynamic enough to learn new skills to do other jobs. High level qualifications are really just proof you can learn. Unless you pick a specific trade/profession even then you can always switch, just important to ensure you finish (although i cant endorse degrees with no jobs at the end, lesbian dance theory,egyptology etc)

[@nicesterricester7084]

15 years, 15 years ago.

[@DirtyBobBojangles]

1:46 This gets me every time. The sigh

[@theAverageJoe25]

Plus the “oh god”

[@TheDragonCat99]

“Catcher of ants” * soul-piercing silence *

[@smittietalks2716]

No replies how ?

[@thegrimreaper9552]

1.7 thousand likes and only 1 reply? Let me fix that.

[@aspectreishauntingeurope]

1.8 thousand likes and only 2 replies? Let me fix that.

[@beezzarro]

This is like a subtle comedy masterclass. Such good acting

[@user-bb1ll8un2v]

Before your comment I even thought that it's real

[@Doppelfrog]

The use of silence, and awkward pauses is genius.

[@shiftt.]

That's what my ex said when I wanted to break up.

[@GoldChampion23]

beezzarro eh

[@jawhoneytv]

I. Did. Not. Know.

[@user-bz2ig5lb1s]

Catcher of ants had me dying. His delivery is perfection.

[@strangelyrepulsive77]

i don't mind wasting last 15 years of my life rewatching old onion videos

[@WilliamTermini]

Do you have any onion facts you'd like to toss around?

[@strangelyrepulsive77]

@@WilliamTermini i know a know a lot of facts because of the factors involved that i acquired with my long and volatile history of previous onion marathons that i've watched on my apple scroll wheel laptop ( that i got for inflated cigarette prices) with janelle while considering 9/11 conspiracies which turned out to be unrealistic considering this country is run by child politicians.

[@Piece-O-Pie]

His next project: fifteen years of sloths.

[@Sara3346]

Or Tortis Ticks.

[@CWJ0725]

He will probably commit suicide 3 years into it.

[@untamedfox35]

Shit... that would be awful.

[@1MinuteFlipDoc]

Sloths are amazing! I like ant eaters too though!

[@untamedfox35]

@@1MinuteFlipDoc Totally agree, but live with them for 15 years with no human interactions, and anybody's tune would change. XD

[@KoovoParkolainen]

As someone studying biology in university, the very real prospect of this happening to me absolutely terrifies me.

[@randydaumar4667]

I look at my professors slightly differently now... hello there, fellow biology student

[@sergeantpug3383]

Keep studying what you want, just don’t be this guy

[@inglatera1910]

Godspeed my friend

[@ericromano8078]

Look, just because you're studying biology doesn't mean you have to spend 15 years of your life living with and studying ant eaters. There are all sorts of animals you can waste 15 years of your life living with. Sloths, capybaras, ant eaters. The list goes o.. well it stops there but it's a good selection.

[@londonspade5896]

I have a degree in Conservation Biology and I felt like I was wasting every moment of my life getting it, I hated it. Since then I've haven't worked in a job with any relevance, but it's still helpful to have a science degree. Just finish, don't quit or fail or you'll have nothing to show for your time and money.

[@jamesnelson8469]

I can relate. I wasted two years of my life working at an Amazon warehouse.

[@taliesine.8343]

tbh, 2 years ain't bad. I'm sure when you are 80 and look back at your life, those 2 years won't feel like wasted time :)

[@LegoDude3258]

I love how this video doesn't have a bumper or ending joke, it just ends as Jim Haggerty looks hopelessly into space.

[@owen-nd7om]

This is what 90% of college degrees out there will feel like when you finally graduate

[@blinkbubs3994]

yeahhh for sureeee...

[@TheGoldDragon100]

@@blinkbubs3994 I think that's the whole point of the skit

[@bennyadammh]

if this is the case you probably choose the wrong degree program

[@hemanths2230]

@@bennyadammh a lot of people get a degree that they arent interested in.

[@2101case]

My Women's Studies major with a Philosophy minor is going to get me a great job.

[@choochoomawpoker3125]

I'm 10 years late Damn

[@kloviskaroshi931]

ahahaha same

[@gasorei]

same

[@spinningchurro]

Me too

[@newdelhinights]

Me too

[@deadflee]

F

[@hiker64]

I have to admit - when I first saw this video almost 15 years ago, I TOO decided to dedicate my life studying anteaters. I have to tell you... after my own 15 years, I've come to the same conclusion... part of my life wasted that I'll never get back. I could have studied aardvarks or African porcupines, or even striped lemurs. But no. I don't even know what I did with my Anteater book. I think I left it at my campsite in Argentina when I was chased out by a herd of gay capybaras.

[@hikerieger6319]

Ok that was a sharp turn you just did, how and when?

[@bigbuba5212]

I'm gonna study capybaras for the next 15 years of my life

[@SofaKingShit]

I spent twelve torturous years alone on the savanna studying aardvarks in spite of the fact that after my dissertation l unfortunately discovered that my real passion is termites.

[@MemekingJag]

@@bigbuba5212 I hope KZbin's still around in 15 years so you can finish the pun.

[@zchris87v80]

It’s better than spending your life studying striped biologist taunters

[@Zauzzie]

As this video turns 15 years old Id like to believe when it aired, someone was so enthralled by Anteaters they have since dedicated the last 15 years of their lives to them.

[@denied7616]

i never thought my spirit animal would not be an animal, but an animal expert.

[@rory5780]

Humans are animals.

[@bananatorpedo275]

@@rory5780 mmmm

[@authenticmusic4815]

Lmao

[@popaulo444]

Lmfao

[@medexamtoolsdotcom]

Zoologist (smiles happily): You know, they're on the endangered species list, and they're all going to die soon.

[@jessicaw725]

The actors the Onion hires are honestly just stupendous

[@yeahx32p69]

May I know why are you sticking your tongue out? I'm currently researching and planning to release a paper on why women stick their tounges out and its socio-economical-political-behavioural-boner effects. I would highly appereciate your assistance in my research.

[@sagaciousmortal4681]

@@yeahx32p69 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@donotdisplayname952]

@@yeahx32p69 she sticks her tongue out because she is an anteater

[@rashmicp4356]

@@yeahx32p69 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@erenjeager4987]

Actors?

[@pooppoop2767]

I've been an artist for 11 years and I feel like this. I've ruined the mystique and joy of creating art by learning more about it. The mysteries of perspective, form and light are gone. I actually hate to draw now and it makes me sick.

[@bigbuba5212]

I feel you I got burnt out so much I permanently quit art People know I can draw so people sometimes request drawings and I can never get myself to even finish the sketch I get so bored and feel so repelled from it but I still want to create

[@calebowens1097]

The fun lies in learning something new. If you can’t approach an old topic like it’s new, then you’ll never learn anything about it again, even though there’s always something you didn’t explore. Ask the passionate mathematicians on numberphile, they’ll tell you the same thing. You see, the fun in learning and creativity is in the discovery, not the knowledge. And if people in mathematics always have more to discover, then it’s clear that your discovery process failed at some point along the line, if what you became an expert in was such an incredibly soft science as art. You CAN enjoy something you are an expert, but only if you learn how to never end the learning/discovery process! In other words, you can be a kid again!

[@singingflowers7456]

@@bigbuba5212 You and Poop Poop fucking nailed it. But sometimes it's about unlearning what you know and doing something entirely new in terms of creativity to find that spark again it's there! it's just hidden

[@baonkang5990]

Embrace the hate.

[@yeshuaislord6880]

That's always been the issue with knowing too much. The only thing you get to learn is something very niche

[@user-xm5fn3hh7s]

This clip aged so well. I come back to it time and time again whenever I need a good pick-me-up. Always gets a laugh.

[@jasonluong3862]

I once wrote a paper on why we sneeze. That experience is known as “the lost weekend” in my life.

[@bigtuna4680]

Jason Luong no offense good sir but that’s nothing compared to 15 years

[@Shagolagal]

God I wish I only had one “lost weekend”.

[@bigtuna4680]

if you don’t mind my asking, why do we sneeze?

[@russianraccoon7401]

@@bigtuna4680 hey dude it's been one week, be prepared for the explanation soon

[@zachprouty8595]

If you don't respond soon there's gonna be a whole lot more than a lost weekend

[@DavidMcCoul]

I wish The Onion would reboot this news show satire. I miss it and it was much better than the podcasts they upload now.

[@randominternetguy3537]

Agreed

[@spooderpig5706]

they don't have a big enough budget anymore

[@abdullahalharthi2429]

@@spooderpig5706 They need to open a go fund me page I need their content

[@randominternetguy3537]

@@spooderpig5706 pretty sure it's not about the budget.

[@eltiggy7031]

probably with the pandemic and lockdown they can't do a lot of in person filming

[@michaelslifecycle]

Gotta respect a man that finishes what he started, even if he hates it in the end.

[@kurtdewittphoto]

0:15 I love how miserable he looks right out the gate lol

[@calebstevens7487]

I actually had a guy like this in the military. He was about to retire when it dawned on him he missed his daughter growing up and the death of his parents and grandparents. Most of his friends had separated years ago so he didn’t really know anyone still in. This realization hit him in front of the entire division and it was one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen.

[@RELee-kq6ww]

My grandfather used to tell me, “a man may climb the ladder all the way to the top, only to realize he’s on the wrong building.

[@Zaptosis]

That would be tragic, gave me a little motivation to go & do something now

[@Darkfire612]

@@RELee-kq6ww damn that hits deep, real deep. Imma try to remember that for the rest of my life.

[@putza10]

@@RELee-kq6ww you went far but took the wrong road,

[@kidfox3971]

Same here, I spent 2 years getting an associates degree in broadcasting only to realize I didn't want to be a radio host, then another 2 years getting a bachelor's degree in theatre, who's to say that in 2 more years when I get my master's degree in history if I'll still want to be a teacher?

[@madmaverick]

Poor man, he looks so broken. I myself have the exact opposite problem; I spent fifteen years of my life studying Fight Club, but due to the first rule, I can't tell a soul what I learned.

[@muhdelyas-abgyas562]

Mad Maverick - Tell me more about your study, it's about martial arts?

[@-V-_-V-]

This is the single most mediocre joke I've ever seen in my life

[@madmaverick]

+Elyas I can neither confirm nor deny this assertion. I've already said too much.

[@madmaverick]

+Swegman Blazit I can say without sarcasm that I am beyond flattered to hear that. I'm glad it has made such a non-impact. Your comment actually made me laugh far more than my attempt at joke ever could. Thank you.

[@-V-_-V-]

Mad Maverick glad you like it

[@shawshank178]

“Certainly not after the first five years” 🤣😂🤣😂

[@daveybass655]

How frikin awesome ! What an honest retrospect ! I'm sure he feels better bout what he is doin now ! For sure ! No more waisted time ! Livin to the fullest ! Radical !

[@ButteryCowEgg]

I'm happy this was recommended to me. This was gold.

[@casmeraki]

Same 😂😂😂😂 so funny!

[@keysersoze1010]

@If you laugh you sub! How does being a sketch make it bad? It's hilarious.

[@keysersoze1010]

@If you laugh you sub! Yeah, definitely depends on your, "eye cue". Where do they make people like you? lmao...

[@omertsloby856]

@If you laugh you sub! eye cue lmaoooo

[@omertsloby856]

@If you laugh you sub! you must have at least 20 eye cue!!!

[@johns.8220]

That "oh god" at 2:05 is just beautiful. Carries so much disappointment, disgust and defeat you can't help but laugh.

[@theeternalnow6506]

Just incredible indeed.

[@factsarefun2950]

It’s great. Not everyday I get a laugh as good as that delivered.

[@itwontcomeout5678]

“No they’re not cute… they’re not cute they’re not little…. Their tongue alone is two feet long…” 😂🤣

[@ihopcsx]

So true

[@Kevin-ex9vr]

man this video is amazing in so many aspects.

[@figy1288]

This hits close and partly explains why I didn't completely do animal research in college... Figuring out too late that I'm not only devoting my future to something I was losing a passion for and unironically having no career options other than choosing anteaters or something I didn't care for. I was trying to convince myself it would be something more verus what it's exactly like in reality

[@maalikserebryakov]

I have come to realise There are two types (1) The Degree that you’re interested in mastering and even intellectually contributing to the subject of theough original research (2) The degree that will furnish for you a place in the Job Market. The best is the Overlap. For me the overlap is Computer Science.

[@DemonicAdj]

​@@maalikserebryakovAmen to that. I wanted to write games, but that industry will burn you. Turns out you can make a comfy living just applying some of those skills as a boring old programmer. Game design is the hobby. It's slow going, but I've finally got time off in my gig.

[@usmh]

I looove the fact that they don't end on a punchline, but just awkward silence. It's so hardcore. Feels like it's unusual for US humor.

[@Bl.uebird]

The 2000's was packed with it. ...I miss it.

[@zobrombie9554]

Lol you didn't grow up watching the right stuff man

[@AdmiralBison]

silence on their end, but I assure plenty of laughter from the viewers.

[@grantm.5975]

@@chrisholland1504 ok this one was a little harsh but still good

[@jackrowley2218]

Awkward humour is way more of a uk thing. Stuff like inbetweeners and the office was ruined by American loud=funny humour

[@GPoh_99]

Even though it's fictional, I have a strong urge to buy this guy's book just to make him feel better

[@pyellard3013]

👍😂

[@dimitristripakis7364]

He does not seem to care, wether we buy his book or not, anymore.

[@itsaguinness]

proceeds will go to years of therapy or funeral bills

[@muskseetv8250]

This isn't fictional. The guy ended up going off the deep end and taking out a bunch anteaters with a high power rifle before offing himself. I'm sure his family could use the proceeds from the book though. RIP Jim Haggerty PhD

[@whoknows7968]

If you want to make him feel better buy the book and burn it in front of him.

[@morganwhite2176]

So hilarious because this is what most PhD’s lives stand for 😂😂😂😂😂 The interviewer is epic! can’t breathe from laughing.

[@megwashere6710]

This is my comfort video

[@PShermanWallabyBaySydney]

How could I have missed this for 11 years straight. I wonder how many undiscovered gems are still out there

[@benm1414]

If you haven't seen "Missing Teens Friends go on TV" do yourself a favor and watch it twice. Once to watch the actors and listen. A second time to read the little highlights and news headlines.

[@Bryce_C.]

P Sherman pls watch the one about the grabbler & nagglers

[@4m4z1n-grace8]

I can send you a link to a phenomenal japanese jazz artist that came up in my recommended last year.

[@rfichokeofdestiny]

The Onion was killing it in the late 2000s and early 2010s. My favorites are the prison economics report, the Supreme Court death penalty report, and the one where a golf pro teaches you to play golf with a...twist. 😏

[@legoluvver]

Have you run into Comedy Central’s “Review”?

[@TestMeatDollSteak]

“The day it was published, it was completely anticlimactic. It felt like the physical manifestation of fifteen years of boredom, came into being.” 😂😂😂

[@FloorPills]

There's a disorder about this. It's called ADHD

[@danitho]

@@FloorPills that...makes no sense

[@290revolver290]

🤣😂

[@davidhaddad9022]

@@FloorPills Wut

[@neoieo5832]

@@danitho pHD adHD

[@CROWMOTHERmusic]

I saw this when it came out, it is now 15 years old… made me realize I have wasted the last 15 years of my life.

[@hero.ambition]

U survived that's gotta count ...

[@maalikserebryakov]

I saw it about 10 years ago. Since then, i’ve become a socially stunted, deformed loser who failed academically great job me 💀

[@stevenhiggins1000]

Holy cow... 😂... I'm sorry for this guy... he is just so embarrassed having wasted his time studying something he really didn't enjoy... love the brutal honesty he's giving

[@Zyphon]

He was bound to waste those 15 years from the start. He should’ve studied penguins for 15 years instead

[@rajanpachigolla2525]

Hi zyph

[@oisindaly9084]

hey

[@genericusername4206]

sellout

[@medexamtoolsdotcom]

Why? Because then he would have not just been bored, but bored AND cold? Then he'd be on the talk show talking about how horribly boring penguins are instead. You're just biased because your profile picture is a bird.

[@SillyPuddy2012]

He could have done worse, like been in a shitty marriage for 15 years and lost everything.

[@showcase-me]

Recommendation proudly brought to you by the youtube algorithm. enjoy

[@RobertLock1978]

xD

[@prunabluepepper]

Hahahahaha, it really blubbers out all it's got, since it has censored all the new stuff. KZbin slowly deconstructing itself. AI at its finest.

[@kornelfarkas6224]

btw is this some kind of joke or something or is this a legit interview ?

[@ephex3094]

This was brought to me by a meme page on Instagram

[@jacobcasey28]

No. I obviously searched for this video

[@jeremymerejeremy]

15 years later I hope he recovers from this traumatic 15 years by now

[@DirtyBobBojangles]

How does this only have 3.4m views after 15 YEARS!? This channel is hilarious 😂

[@kyledesmet897]

As someone who is studying zoology, this is painfully relatable

[@MybeautifulandamazingPrincess]

It's still time

[@MrMolotow97]

What did you expect?

[@dionbridger5944]

So how's it working out?

[@pkernoob786]

No. It's relatable to life. Just no to your comment and the implication that it only affects your field of work / study.

[@dionbridger5944]

@@pkernoob786 What the fuck are you talking about?

[@pikpik42]

This is ridiculous. The actor of Mr.Anteater here was able to nail a mood between hopelessness, frustration, anger, condemnation, remorse and insecurity in such a subtle way. It seems way more authentic than 90% of what you see on television today. Can't get over how great TheOnion actors are. The host and his co-host also. Nailed to perfection. Love these clips so much.

[@YoutubesaysimCyberbully]

had a feeling it was fake , but who knows what anteater researchers are like

[@jammydodger5838]

Actors? This is real you plonker

[@jammydodger5838]

@@pikpik42 plonker

[@marricksinon2057]

@@KZbinsaysimCyberbully the whole channel is

[@valiantstallion]

He sold it to me. Hook line and sinker.

[@LoanNguyen-gg3oc]

Great and Excellent tutorial .This method is clear and works Properly 100%.I recommend it.Thank You.

[@sixteenstringjack]

The acting in these onion vids is absolutely top notch

[@Danomite1]

The "Oh God." kills me every time. He's completely repulsed by once again seeing the monsters he had to spend 15 years of what could have been valuable time with.

[@bravskeen]

That was jus priceless the way he said it 😂

[@lezty]

Same thing happens when you spend 15 years with your wife

[@RG-rm6ih]

@@leztyget divorced then

[@lezty]

@@RG-rm6ih point is you’ll get sic

[@AbsolutelyJason]

I was thinking the same thing. lol

[@MrYuckForever]

Wasted 15 years of his life so nobody else would have to... Not the hero we wanted... But the hero we deserve.

[@medexamtoolsdotcom]

No, it's more than what we deserve. We deserve to have to do it too. It's not the hero we wanted, or deserve, but the one that we needed.

[@MrYuckForever]

@@medexamtoolsdotcom:) nice lol

[@TheEmaile]

The “Did You Know?” popping up on the screen in the midst of the guy having a breakdown.

[@danny_perez]

When I had to do a school report on anteaters, his book helped me alot. thanks Mr kerns