Many Men Marry Maids As Wives and Their Wives Are Not Their Friends/MUST WATCH

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[@adams8830]

These men are just admitting what we already know. The lady with the red hat was SPOT ON. Men need to just start dating men.

[@CordeliaWagner]

Looking at all the manosphere dating classes...

[@lipglosslover83]

😂this !!

[@wmd40]

As someone who's LGBT like not even trying to hate on them. But I really do think that a lot of these men have such internalized homophobia that they can't admit they're actually disgusted by women. It's okay to be gay lol! It's not okay to ignore your emotional issues and take advantage of other people!!! Men have such huge emotional issues that they never dealt with so they never actualize as fully formed people

[@karmAnonymous]

They do... on the DL bringing home diseases. what they really need to do is ADMIT what they are already so unhinged & maliciously doing

[@officialjocelyn9108]

Men made the rules about "not crying", no hugging men", etc. They can fix it, but they won't because then they would have to admit that women (which they have deemed weak) are just (more complete, evolved, mature) people.

[@leylanyfigueroa2783]

Exactly 💯

[@destroyraiden]

Right and it's the induction of patriarch on matriarchy cultures that we see the men become depressed & lost only after patriarchy reached their locations before that the men were in their place & they were fine they also had roles carved out for them but patri tells them here are keys & leadership not in your nature & that you didn't earn & they're now having issue these men wouldn't have an issue if they didn't have patriarchy telling them of an inversed system that actually doesn't benefit them they make rules to stop the men from processing their feelings & give them duties they aren't inclined for and we see the majority of men ultimately don't like or want under patriarchy yet they can't face this.

[@LoveK1]

That’s what I keep saying anytime men get in a comment section about DV or mental health. They always want to jump in and ask why we’re only talking about women. Why do they expect us to advocate for them? They damn sure don’t do it for us and the only time they really care about men’s issues is when they want to shut us up! They won’t advocate for their own mental health and wellness. I’m not doing! Women aren’t doing it anymore.

[@SuperAH1985]

YES!!! This "men are lonely," "men don't have friends," etc., is all on them. Their undertone keeps sounding like us women have to fix that problem. Nope. I have the friends I need, go find your own people...sir...I'm not a fix-it shrink for your own failures...sir...

[@LoveAndSnapple]

@@SuperAH1985 I wholeheartedly agree. If they want to change things are going to have to start from children being born today. It is too late for the rest of us right now. When I was a child and saw little boys crying, it felt natural for them to cry because they fell and scraped her knee or something bad happened. The natural and appropriate response would be to cry. But when society’s gender expectations and the patriarchy, tell boys and men that they can’t be vulnerable and weak, and women have been told that only WE can be vulnerable and weak that to see men break down makes women feel uneasy and lose respect for them. We’ve always been told that it’s a man’s world and we’re just living in it so if they make the rules why can’t they change things in their favor? We told them that patriarchy hurts then just as much as it hurts us but in order for them to get what they want they have to become more egalitarian, and they’d rather suffer and blame us and make things right.

[@RasheedahNizam]

I had an arranged marriage so there is a limit to how much blame I can take. BUT- I do remember asking him many times over the years why he married me. Sometimes he said it was because I was a good cook and housekeeper. Other times he said he didn't know. These are the only 2 answers that I ever got for this question in 22 years. I finally got up the courage to leave this year when I realised that my hard-earned degree and career that paid alll the bills still didn't satisfy him. "You used to keep the house so clean." I was no longer around enough to manage his home destruction. Life is so much easier without him.

[@belle_bagay3849]

congratulations, wishing you all the best. find love & life within yourself before any future romantic relationships.

[@dsmile1116]

I’m curious. How is he doing without you? They usually fall to pieces unless they can trick some other woman to care for them.

[@RasheedahNizam]

@belle_bagay3849 thank you 😊

[@RasheedahNizam]

@dsmile1116 you are right. It's been hard for him because I was also paying all bills. He broke the washing machine the first time he tried to use it. House is always a mess. He has always worked but for the past 7ish years he kept his money. In the first 3 months when I left I got weekly texts saying "I wish you were here because the house is a mess" or "wish you were here because I have so much work to do today". He couldn't understand that this was the exact reason I was happy to not be there. When you are not seen as human, there is no effort to make a selling point 😅

[@sallyhemings2295]

This heart -breaking 💔to read ! OMG what benefits did he offer you? I’m glad you escaped that hell! Block him and go live your best life! Best wishes ❤

[@ineedhoez]

That lady talking about having someone love you like your mother. Ummmmm no. The love you have for a child is NOT the love you have for a spouse. STOP.

[@jessicadavis3989]

👀

[@Maybe-An-Alien]

Agreed, I thought she was going to say lover, not momma🤦🏾‍♀️

[@briolivia]

Girl...these women be having incestuous ass relationships with their sons. A lot of em on have room for a maid because their mom is their wife

[@23imsoawesome]

You believe it's not the same but you can't say how men perceive it.

[@mignalyortiz4589]

Yeah that's gross. You mom may love you unconditionally, I will not. 😂

[@lisaoatman6244]

A lot of men don’t like their wives

[@jaqoncee6670]

I will never get married again. My ex husband was horrible and tried to stop me from talking to all my friends. He wanted me to stop dressing up and wearing makeup, etc. I ended up filing a lifetime restraining order against him. Men are toxic and dangerous

[@ibabechanel]

NARCISSISTTTTTT.

[@lipglosslover83]

I’m glad you are ok ! ❤

[@karmAnonymous]

this tale is the NORM but yet us victims to now survivors (hopefully... because Lord knows many of us either don't make it out or are unable to actually recover despite all that victim blaming & toxic positivity 💔☹️) are constantly told we're lying/exaggerating/THE ABUSER/unfit parents (then now we gotta fight in court & watch as the legal system is weaponized but apparently mothers always favored if you were to ask the very perpetrators THEMSELVES... XYs🙄)/wrong because we chose wrong so it's our fault anyway...

[@roxycocksey]

My boyfriend is my best friend. He actually doesn’t like when I clean or cook or do things for him. He prefers to do those things for himself. If I clean my own messes that’s all he cares about. My ex was more of a toxic masculine guy and wanted a wife slave, more so a s3x slave. Glad I left him. He’s in jail or prison now… idiot.

[@CordeliaWagner]

My boyfriend has a housekeeper. I bring my dirty laundry eith me on monday, we do mealprepping and couple stuff and tuseday we go off to university and when we come back to his appartment the mess is cleaned up and my laundry is neatly foldet. He is a kind sweet very caring guy aside from sks and sks with him is mindblowing and we both hate household work and I think I found one in a million. Most guys seem to just want to get as much as they can from women.

[@purplelove3666]

We are talking about husbands ,not people who are wasting time,and are engaging in unlawful unions

[@ddrebrne3336]

So glad I divorced young and didn't have kids. Young ladies, PLEASE choose wisely and guard your womb. A lot of these men are not worthy of what you can offer them as a wife and mother to their children.

[@SimplehumanMale-ue5iq]

Some woman are not worthy of getting married

[@sophiam9886]

​@@SimplehumanMale-ue5iq Well, marriage is sl¤very for women. So, you're basically saying that we don't deserve to be ensl¤ved. Thanks! 😄

[@SimplehumanMale-ue5iq]

@@sophiam9886 no is just that you’re a useless that’s why

[@suzannemcvicker617]

​@@SimplehumanMale-ue5iqshe's not useless. You're projecting. Every woman has inherent value.

[@ana-nim]

​@@SimplehumanMale-ue5iq accidentally read your username as "SubhumanMale". You should consider that one

[@raewangaritv]

I got this feeling in my last situationship because he loved being with his boys more than with me, and he would even treat them better. I ended things but now he's trying to come back to enjoy the domestic benefits lol!

[@itzTeTe]

Ma’am if he loves his buddies so much he can marry them, I say block him on everything, move if you are able just completely ghost. A man that does not respect you, your time or your efforts does not deserve to even be in your presence. His actions and words MUST have consequences, and it’s not consequence if you take him back. ❤️ You can do better. You deserve more. 🥰

[@adams8830]

Same. I was dating a guy whonwas always blowing off our dates to hang with "the boys" so I dumped him. Men like this may as well date their "boys".

[@destroyraiden]

Pretty sure you inclined to say no to him but keep up the wall he's just trying to come back in and use you. I think they find it easier with men cuz they don't like women in general and don't want to adjust to have to understand her they don't want to cultivate empathy for her as it would mean he'd have to mentally & emotionally unpack himself and that's too much effort for the majority of men rare is the unicorn man at like less then 1/2% trying to do that.

[@queeniequeen949]

@@itzTeTeall of this!!!! 🥰🙌🏾💯

[@roshellegouldbourne787]

​@@adams8830More than likely he is. Hang with the boys is code for gangbang.

[@awg7068]

And as soon as their wives realize it, and decided they want to leave and be open to be in a loving relationship, he will lose his mind. That's why I say to watch what he does in the beginning, and don't do too much. Clean your own messes, and leave his. Do only your own laundry. Keep your money and your bills separate. See how he acts, if he wises up and pitches in, good. If he squawks, GO like satan himself is chasing you, because it will only get worse as the years roll on. If you're not married, don't do a DAMN thing for him unless he did it first already. Also, any man that is that up in his friends like that, he's 1) not ready to be an actual man -Peter Pan Syndrome, 2) something shady is going on. Better to be alone than with a man that doesn't love or even like you.

[@shaypope4732]

This why I don't want to remarry or have kids ill keep enjoying my 20s for me and even when I get to my 30s ill still choose me and a peaceful life

[@Emptytopfloor]

Girl, I’m in my 30s. Had No relationships ever. The older I get the higher my standards become 😅. I could have been fooled in my early 20s easily, but glad I kept me to myself. Now, if a man can’t make my already perfect life even better, I don’t want him.

[@deboracopeland4795]

Child free all my life and single. I’m 63 and loving life.

[@evergreenforestwitch]

I'm 44, never had a serious relationship and have zero regrets.

[@diamondheart11]

Yay!!! Love reading the comments, I'm 30 single celibate and child free and men were never in my center so I didn't have to decenter them. Never dated never gave any of them a chance. I'm so happy, have a peaceful life, have my pets, have lots of friends that I help all the time since I focused on me and have a career of 6 figures, own my houses and cars. I will always be there for my family and sisterhood. Glad I never fell for the lies about men, I saw how horrible they are when I was a little girl and said NOPE! NOT FOR ME. NEVER!!!

[@deboracopeland4795]

@@diamondheart11 good for you honey!!!

[@Carameldamour]

The fact that men only marry when they hit the wall (they chose what's available when they are no longer at their prime and that prime starts early for them) should explain why what this man says makes sense.

[@bzzzz...8383]

A prime for a man is when his sperm is the strongest which is around 25 years old and before he starts balding

[@Carameldamour]

@@bzzzz...8383 yup these dudes believe because they can still skit at 60 it is viable sperm...

[@Alexis-ec9cl]

Lmao

[@blackxicans98]

As someone who was raised by an emotionally distant narcissistic mother I can’t IMAGINE being married to someone who I come home to and they don’t interact with me. I would literally die on the inside

[@crystalducharme939]

The ironic part is that is EXACTLY who we are unconsciously attracted to for partners after narcissistic abuse from a mother. We have to do the hard work of healing from codependence

[@berkamp9832]

Why would you be with someone who doesn't speak to you I first place.

[@KlaudiaShaefferr]

@@berkamp9832 they usually are sweet and affectionate until they deem you as trapped

[@Daug555]

Girl they want to stay caged. These are captive bucks. They don’t want to be and do better. Complacency and taking is their ‘love’ language.

[@TheReader19]

Most men like routine and comfort. Why would you leave a nice clean home to start over again and struggle? No you'll stay where you are and everyone can be miserable with you.

[@CordeliaWagner]

I always thought that most couples don't like each other. Most people want a relationship to have company and fit into social norms. L8ve is the exeption, not the standart. A lot of people openly hate each other but most people shrug it off and say "that's normal". I don't see why anyone would get married, it's an outdated worthless custom between you and the government. It just makes it harder to break up, looking at the "investment bias". The more energy you give into a failed relationship the less likely you are to break up because you invested so much. Don't be stupid, don't get married.

[@ibabechanel]

Sunk. Cost. Fallacy. 💯

[@yoursnatchedwig2856]

Yeah men marry the one who is off service and stalk the one they genuinely love for their whole lives 😂

[@ibabechanel]

THIS. 👍🏻👍🏻💯

[@ProjectMeta]

Oh that's why the stalk you after married. I wondered about that lol

[@yoursnatchedwig2856]

@@ProjectMeta like this man who sent his new wife's baby shower to his ex who had miscarriage just to hurt her lmao but she couldn't care less

[@RDCFemmes]

That is why when I am asked what do I bring to the table: absolutely nothing. Can you cook? No, I don't.

[@divalizzous]

When a man asks me if I can cook, I ask him if he can build a house. Oh the rage.

[@Hello-iz9hl]

@@divalizzous🤣🤣🤣

[@carolcielle]

​@@divalizzous👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🤣🤣🤣🤣 I LOVE IT!

[@jewdy8915]

I am a maid! I get paid for this work. It’s about $30/hr including travel time. I think everyone should hire a housekeeper or pay the person cleaning up after them.

[@ToyaRR]

The gay man missed the whole point. A lot of straight men prefer the cimpany of their male counterparts to their wives. They would spend time talking and doing things with their male friends but gaslight the wife into feeling she is asking for too much to receive the same time and effort he gives his male friends.

[@torilovebyrd8418]

I think the problem with these types of men, is that they feel small and insignificant in every other area of their life, and because they’re subordinate they seek out someone to be subordinate to them. They’re obsessed with hierarchy and having some place near the top in a space they can control. It all boils down to their fears and insecurities.

[@stilljocelyn_]

Honestly if I can’t have a marriage like my parents I don’t want it at all… my parents are friends they joke and laugh etc.. they been married 38 years and together 45 years!!!!

[@TMeyer-ge5pj]

I want that too! I'm a 27 y/o woman and I feel like i have been searching forever. I hope I can find that because I feel like I'm getting older and I don't want a "oh whatever he's okay" kind of marriage

[@Beautyisme90]

Where did they meet?

[@anonnnymousthegreat]

They only want wives not just for to be a maid, to fill a void, but also for show. Just simply having a woman they put a ring on is next to them, it’s all for showing off to other men like it’s a trophy prize. And not because they love them and want to engage in being a relationship for the rest of your lives. I was told when i was a little girl that if i ever think about marrying a man, to make sure we can be bestfriends first, be to the point of being each other’s equal and that we really are in love with one another before marrying him. Because i will always know i will have a bestfriend, a husband who will be there for me and be with me no matter what as i would him.

[@Annonymight]

"It is not a good idea to be friends with your wife...." wtf would you like to suffer through this kind of life for? For clean clothes and food? Restaurants and washers and dryers exist. So folx want to be miserable for life (your home is your castle) for what?

[@destroyraiden]

The majority of men go into marriages or even date expecting to be unhappy so he's already unhappy at saying hi to you all he needs to do is fulfill his codepenancy & have convince a woman to be his mommy for as many years as she can put up with it.

[@Annonymight]

I'm confused about this self fladulation for what....? Why just resign yourself to misery? It's not like society needs men to go club a mammoth. You'd think men would be having the time of their life with the traditional masculine expectations bar being on the floor. Some people just don't know how to live...

[@alyssawoodman]

"Tolerable level of permanent unhappiness"

[@ibabechanel]

@@alyssawoodmanTHIS. 💯

[@lotusflower2315]

@@Annonymight The thing with m3n is that they aren't miserable. As long as he has in house pusscee, home cooked meals, a maid & a womb to have his "legacy" he is content. Males aren't interested in love.. They are ONLY interested in getting their needs met via a Woman. A great example is how males will fight you tooth and nail to not divorce, even when they know the relationship is not good for you.. It was NEVER about your happiness, only what you can do to bring him happiness.

[@somebodycomelistentothispo7217]

To the BM Talking about homophobia, most of y’all are gay tho 😂🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Carameldamour]

😅

[@cookiecookie1834]

Aint thats the truth

[@lmusima3275]

I agree. They’re on the DL but don’t want to admit it

[@itzTeTe]

You just gonna say the quiet part out loud just like that huh 😮‍💨🤣

[@adams8830]

Most men are gay they just feel pressured by society to date and marry women. That's why they treat women so crazy. They take out their resentment on women.

[@Hephzibah_n_beulah]

Men tend to marry their mothers but women aren’t innocent either. The desperate need to be picked is definitely at fault too

[@adams8830]

I agree but I think women are on the path to abandoning the need to be picked and just allowing these men to die alone if they don't meet a certain standard.

[@destroyraiden]

It's an included feature in patriarchy, religion, and Ism government systems as they're all bros before hoes & each other's wingman but women are waking up & slowly seeing where in their life & media has ingrained & trained them to be pick mes it's super unsettling every from of media encourages the pick me rare is the entertainment, history, or social structure, political structure, and even business structure that doesn't encourage & reinforce the brainwashing of the pick me or bust. This thing sinks so deep it's even in the fact we have inflation to force pairings & marriage rather then promote or allow singles!

[@traceylennon1204]

BINGO

[@kiriyareview9823]

Men don’t like masculine women, it’s masculine to chase, if you don’t chase, you get chosen. So are women not wired to be that way and men are wired to pursue? It’s natural. Why do people make it seem like it’s not the way it is? Men find a wife, not the other way around.

[@NellyMacharia]

No cap!!!

[@VixxKong2]

- So it's all slavery? - Always has been 🔫

[@MphoenixE]

And also you become a maid, cook, satisfy ego, and sex worker. And he will still cheat and belittle.

[@natashadickson4819]

😮

[@sc-bj2fs]

Men don't know how to be friends.

[@Carameldamour]

No they don't

[@Hephzibah_n_beulah]

How sad and hopeless. I’ve NEVER not been in my relationships. I give them no choice.

[@RepentImmediately]

I've had many male friends, have always had a strong friendship aspect in my romantic connections with men, and remained friends with most of my exes. Some of those friendships ended over time but that's just the case with friendships in general. If you're not able to easily talk to a guy on the phone for 2 or 3 hours multiple times a week or text about regular stuff all day long, don't get in a relationship with them. Me and my closest guy friends would talk for 4 or more hours most nights of the week at times.

[@nawakaida7499]

That’s because they are not. Your friends are your friends. Your spouse is your spouse. Everyone in your life plays a different role and fulfills a different need. It’s unrealistic to expect your partner to play every single role once they enter your life.

[@LoveK1]

@@nawakaida7499I think you missed the point. I agree that your spouse shouldn’t fulfill all you relationship needs but you should be friendly with you life partner. You should be close to each other and be about to talk. There should be respect and empathy there which MANY relationships lack.

[@nanaanan4731]

Just because we call out certain behaviors, (like DL men marrying women to get the benefits of fulfill societal expectations) doesn’t mean that we’re homophobic. Whether or not he’s DL, it’s DECEPTIVE to enter a relationship under the guise of love and building a life together, when you don’t even like the woman, but think of her as a benefits package (i.e., slave) ONLY to serve YOUR NEEDS. You missed the broader point, sir. I was married to one of those men, so I know it does exist. He was bisexual, but he didn’t share that with me. That’s what we call DL. It was obvious that he didn’t actually like women, the longer I was with him. Hmm, maybe that should make us “bisexual phobic.” Not sure. I think it’s just most people are afraid of dishonest people who are selfish, self serving, manipulative and exploitative. It doesn’t matter their sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, gender, etc. Or maybe you were just deflecting, because I bet you would NEVER approach a woman to marry you with “I don’t really like you, but because of what you can do for me, I’ll compromise.”

[@LoveAndSnapple]

About a month ago some guys were on a video saying that black women don’t create safe spaces for men to be gay or be openly gay. My first thought was, how is that OUR problem? Just because we’re not the type to be down with our men being bisexual, pansexual, whatever sexual doesn’t mean that we have to accept them. I’m a bisexual woman and I still don’t trust bisexual men. Because I believe that if they have no problem stepping out on the relationship when they have a vagina at home, they’ll have no problem stepping out for something you can’t offer. That’s like when that Malik guy said that he can have sex with a transgendered person and still be straight. They just want to use biological and/or heterosexual women as a home base while they still maintain their manhood and position as “Man’.

[@purplelove3666]

Homosexuality is an abomination,so I won't invest in people's attempts to shame us for not liking it

[@TMeyer-ge5pj]

Agreed. Of course the man makes it about HIM and gay men instead of having any empathy for women. I feel like a lot of women think of gay men as "better" or "safe". Like no. They're still men and think pretty much the same way as straight men. Gay men hate women too lol

[@carolcielle]

Well said!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@kejean12]

I think last the man talking about men not being gay missed what she was saying. I don't think it's about being them gay, it's about closeness and non-se ual attraction men have for each other. Like men will tell their male friends all their business - like who he's messing with, medical issues, work problems etc. but he won't share that information with his wife or significant other. It seems like men prefer the company of men over women but society tells them they need to get married. It's beneficial to a man to have a wife to share the bills and do the bulk of the housework. This guy did what typical guys do - assume when a woman says men are attracted to men they think in a linear romantic way instead of a natural desire to spend time with men rather than spend time with women. They want the company of men - not for physical closeness/activities but personal friendship. Women are usually just as the original poster said, maids and bedroom servants.

[@VixxKong2]

Exactly. It's not that he chose the wrong wife, because any woman would be the wrong one since he just looks down on all women. Only other men are deserving of respect and empathy in his mind.

[@LoveAndSnapple]

Yup, homie-sexuals.

[@divalizzous]

He completely missed the point which begs the question- how and why? Perhaps it’s his own insecurities w/ his gayness.

[@Chris-dh3ve]

I also feel he discredited his message by saying it was a homophobic thought process. He dismissed the real topic, which is simple….if a man wants to spend more/majority time with another man/men over his significant other. A logical thought that women consider is that maybe he is not interested in me/women. That is not being homophobic, it is using logic and observation to draw conclusions.

[@DalmaSafra]

another argument apart but has to do with this too: men say women should lower their standards otherwise men remain alone, (the mocking women w/the catlady joke is not a mocking at women-it's an indirect fear of them staying alone) but if the women r left single, men blame her for being a single mum cos she didnt choose better, but women cant raise her standards? pick a struggle bro and mk it mk sense.

[@lalobalingeriebycandidchicana]

👏🏼 Yas!

[@Maybe-An-Alien]

Men have been really telling us and showing us... It's up to us to listen and act accordingly. And for the so called traditional men that love to tell women about their "duties as a wife" ⬇️ Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” Be slow to anger and show your wife forgiveness and love. This will allow her to grow from her mistakes, rather than being haunted by them. Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands go all out in your love for your wife like Christ did the church. A love marked by GIVING and not getting." There are many verses like this, interesting how men never really speak on what is expected of the husband🙄

[@CordeliaWagner]

Bible is fiction. You can't take fictional stories to make your life choices.

[@sarcodonblue2876]

Christians cherry pick versus from the bible and it is full of contradictions.

[@TheReader19]

​@sarcodonblue2876 so do none Christians love to use the bible to their own devices

[@Nitra813]

Girl those men do not read nor do they know the God of it. Don’t be fooled.

[@trulykey8106]

That's exactly what I was saying because Jesus is soo loving and caring..He did a lot for people on this earth in the Bible..

[@Quilt4Joy]

My sister’s best friend is a married stay-at-home wife. Her and her husband live in a beautiful home and she keeps it spotless. Her husband has not had sex with this woman in over 30 years. He refuses her sex. It’s a thing apparently. Men refusing to have sex with their wives. She inherited some money when they met, and I think he married her to use the money to buy a house. I don’t think he ever liked her.

[@purplelove3666]

And she gave him the money? What the heck?

[@yujuy.1329]

Ma’am he’s gay.

[@TheReader19]

​@@yujuy.1329not necessarily, chances are his been having sex with other woman/women. I've even known men to have a second family who know all about his wife.

[@shaymalchione809]

No man refusing sex

[@TahTwinkletoes]

​@@shaymalchione809 If he's not attracted to the wife um yeah

[@sunflowerb5260]

I was told by a man that works in a Factory that he co workers would tell him that they couldn’t STAND OR LIKE THEIR WIVES !!

[@LaDyLuCk909]

I seen my father treat my mother like this...I see he didn't like her and told her to her face that he never loved her..and she never left him..now I'm grown and these men won't get nothing out of me.

[@4nasj]

Men created society this way...

[@lkf8799]

This was super interesting to watch. Our society needs a lot of work 😕

[@CordeliaWagner]

Most people aren't willing to do this work.

[@kazania7653]

It's been that way forever, movies started lying with romcoms inventing the idea of love so the current generation of women is obssessed with an idea that has never and will never exist.... Unless your 2 in one billion

[@tanisha7789]

This is so true some men don’t even like women fr they need to just be with men

[@cocoace7587]

Naaaww Sis , we aren't breaking anymore BM from their cages . Those days are looonngg gone 😂. If they can't get out , when they have two hands , they should stay there . 😂#get someone else to do it

[@roshellegouldbourne787]

Princella Clark: The Queen Maker says this all the time.

[@purplelove3666]

No, actually a lot of women are raised like that,you are a good wife according to what you can do for a man and be a benefit to him aka a maid

[@indigo_worldwide_]

Can you imagine someone hating you, but you do everything for them. That ish is wild …

[@cinnamongirl5410]

4:00 "no other group of women were raised that way, to run around cookin, cleaning.." What??? Has she been to a reservation? Or spoke with Arab or Japanese women? Even the family in the next neighborhood over. smh

[@SonofSalmon]

Maria Davids, I am (unfortunately) a heterosexual woman, but I just want to say you are one of of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, from your facial structure to your style to your lovely personality :)

[@MariaDavids]

Awww you are so sweet 🥹 Thank You

[@martaxiaoping1261]

I didnt like the woman saying that women dont get married and then get depressed and the solution is to find a correct partner. I feel like not marrying is a good choice as others and it doesnt make women miserable at all. I think that the solution is decentering men.

[@lipglosslover83]

Chile … absolutely tf not . I’m not doing any of that …get someone else to do it…

[@Natalya_xo]

I can see the incentive for men to get into relationships solely for a maid . I also can see why women would get into relationships for financial purposes. Very transactional and kinda sad I think humanity can do something to change that

[@purplelove3666]

What financial purposes? there's a reason why there's a 1 percent , and that small percentage,if a woman marries from that percentage,yes that's the financial purpose that I can understand ,not these men who are married to women who are also working, what financial purposes?

[@suzannemcvicker617]

Financial purposes? When he can only afford to pay the light bill? Lmao

[@nasha4everr310]

Every day I am more relieved that I didn’t say “yes”….😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[@ChiefCreativee]

So true. Especially what the woman said. They are lovers of themselves.

[@purplelove3666]

Why do some men find it difficult to get through their heads,that cleaning and cooking is literally a life skill? If you are broken,DONT GET MARRIED, and Jesus(As) cant heal you,because he is a prophet and not God.

[@BlkOnyx0508]

Actually according to the Bible book jesus IS god😂.

[@fees_moonshadow]

​@@BlkOnyx0508we're talking Abt Islamic terms rn

[@khrisi9410]

Jesus can heal a man. A woman cannot heal a man.

[@MisaRedd]

A man is no woman’s friend forreal you just have to marry them and be close enough to them to figure that out. So don’t think you are any better. They would treat any woman this way that decide to marry them because for one they don’t even like themselves and deep inside they wonder why you like them too

[@mandeanraje2300]

Might be the first time podcast men are making sense 😂😂

[@cookee888]

The last male who spoke has his own issues with " gay " ppl.

[@bMack270]

I’ve never been a side chick and I’ve never been a wife. But from what I see objectively, 9 times out of 10, the man treats the side chick better than your wife. I’ve seeeeeeenn nthis play out sooooo many times, from people online to people know personally. The wife is already locked down, most likely has his children and is afraid of being single mother, whereas the side chick can leave at anytime, so he HAS TO do more for her to keep her around. Especially if the side chick is younger, or closer to the husbands preference. Once the side chick gets pregnant, the relationship dynamics become a never ending game of ping pong where the man bounces back and forth between both women until one walks away. That’s why I never understood why women brag on being the wife of a cheating man. I automatically assume that the wife is the maid and the side chick is the fantasy.

[@Soulficial360]

I keep saying this. Minimum wage, slavery! We all are working so hard because there's no more free labor for corrupt billionaires. Also, we're paying all these taxes for what? Because the United States is sovereign to Europe and we still pay taxes to them!

[@SpaghettiEtti]

The man at 20:36 fundamentally misunderstood what they meant. What they are saying is men will have the intimate relationship their girlfriends/wifes are craving from them Vulnerability, communication, a sense of security, and more everything just outside of having sex with this other man down to getting them something nice just because they were thinking about them. They do all this stuff for and with their best friend but never even coming close to that same energy with their girlfriends/wives. That’s what they mean. Y’all got to stop hearing the word gay and shutting down. 1 being gay doesn’t make you less of a man nor is it a bad thing and 2 identifying with something does not I repeat DOES NOT make you gay. If you are a man and you don’t want to have sex with a man then you are not gay full stop end of story.

[@TheNumbatwelve]

I mean just watch Dateline and you'll see just how many men don't like their spouses!!!

[@analiseferguson]

Miss brown tam said exactly what I have been telling straight women for years. As Jamaicans say please “look out of your eyes”. Good luck to you all. ❤

[@curlygirl0078]

My husband and I are not only lovers but best friends 😊

[@martaxiaoping1261]

Ugggg the guy speaking about gay men and having male friendships... Not sure if he missed the point, it's not that the guy chose the wrong wife, it's that in patriarchy men grow with expectations that they will get a beautiful woman who will give him kids and serve him because he deserves it. And they look at each other with respect but look down at women. It's not an individual problem as not choosing the correct wife, in my opinion.

[@ettaroberts]

The colour purle movie said so much. Yes blackmen you engaged in slavery. Watch that movie again with new eyes.

[@Stormy867]

Baby the girl with the dreads said a mouth full!! I would actually purchase a ticket to her lectures fr!!

[@CatloafCreative]

Home girl at 9:53 is speaking the truth of the collective ❤

[@Aquariuswonder86]

Yess. It’s very eye opening.

[@kazania7653]

I don't get it, bw were slaves (wives) to bm in africa before slavery... Women were not only cooking but providing the food as well and being literal donkeys and abused.... There's a phrase in my African country that goes, a man beating his wife is a sign of love

[@digitalbrandingservice7056]

They don't like their wives because 90% of women pursued their husbands. He married her because she was there. She had already organised the wedding. Women are the ones who want these men. Then when you get him you are angry that you cannot control him. Go and ask all your married friends how they did meet. 90% will be the woman slide in the dms, she called him, she worked with him and invited him for lunch, she perused him. My brother said he has never had to ask a woman to be his girlfriend. She just shows up and never leaves. women need to be taking more responsibility.

[@sparklyunicorn5431]

So men don't have mouths to say no?.. why are only men allowed yo pursue who they want? Why aren't women allowed to have more agency in their future?

[@LoveAndSnapple]

@@sparklyunicorn5431 Because many people have seen time and time again when that is the case it doesn’t work out. It’s not like she pursues him and then he is grateful for the attention and takes on the masculine role. She’ll pursue him and he’ll take on the feminine role for the ENTIRE relationship. Even when a man pursued me in a masculine way as soon as I did anything nice or kind for him it’s like he started to lay back into his feminine. Like damn, if you give them an inch they take a mile. Men complain that women don’t do anything nice for men and that we just take but whenever we give or take the initiative all of a sudden it’s “where are MY flowers? Why don’t you take ME out on dates?“

[@suzannemcvicker617]

BS

[@melizzamelizza]

I agree. Too many women pursue men and this whole proposal to men.... Stop it. These women just want a man to say they have one.

[@bdott1538]

This isn’t women’s fault. Men marrying a woman he doesn’t like is on him. He COULD say NO or he could just NOT PROPOSE.

[@purplelove3666]

Or you both split the duties in the house, Cooking and cleaning is life skils

[@YourMajesty143]

She's sooo close, the root of all transactional relationships is Capitalism. Slavery is a by-product of Capitalism and Capitalism is a product (and engine) of the Patriarchy. So all roads lead to the Patriarchal Structure, which is why its imposed social hierarchies depend on gender binaries, classism, and racism. The patriarchy cannot exist without this stacked totem pole of division.

[@sarcodonblue2876]

Men in communist and socialist countries treat their wives in the same way. Look at China and North Korea. Men are much worse outside of the West.

[@VenusFire314]

That's why they have there exual experience outside of the marriage and the wife get angry at outside women when it's your husband.

[@nawakaida7499]

The problem with relationships nowadays is that we (both men and women) expect our partners to fulfill every role and every single one of our needs where in the past, those roles were always divided upon everyone on our lives. Our partners shouldn’t be our BFFs. There’s other people that fill that role. Our partners shouldn’t be our mothers or fathers. Our mothers and fathers are. Our partners shouldn’t be our therapist. That role belongs to a therapist. Our partner shouldn’t be our housekeeper, Gardner, teacher, health caretaker, bank, personal chef, life coach, or employer. We can’t expect our partners to fill our cups every day. We get our cups of love filled by our partners, ourselves, our children, our family, our friends, our hobbies, our success. Stop relying on your partner to fill every role and every need. It’s unrealistic expectations and you will always end up disappointed and unhappy and you unfairly put the blame on them when you actually had them set up to fail from the beginning.

[@LoveYourself-my9nz]

Not really! Actually your partner needs to be your best friend only then marriage work and last long! You need to understand first what really best friends mean... It's about sharing, communicating and caring and that's what a love relationship is also. You are partners so you help each other but you shouldn't think that a certain work is only your partner's work or marrying them just to get free housework done. Partners don't need to become your therapist but it doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to them or help them when they are low in their life that's actually a partner's responsibility. A good partner who really loves you will care for you and that care should be from both sides. No wonder nowadays you can't find a good partner because some people have become very selfish and they can't differentiate btw self care and selfishness! In the past people treated their partner like goods and women were the ones who had suffered the most because they were just free slaves who will only do what father or husband wants and cook, clean, and give birth to children and take care of them by themselves. People who don't understand this thing that your partner has to be your best friend are just being toxic but opposite of the past but toxic. Partners are like best friends for whom you also feel romantic and sexual emotions.

[@LoveYourself-my9nz]

Sorry for ranting so much but I just see people ruining their relationship because they say partners can't be bff and that's so wrong. They are saying that we trust, care, and share more with other people than their partner so no wonder they end up breaking up because you are prioritising other people more than your partner and that's wrong. It needs time to become best friends with your partner so take your time but don't have this mindset or otherwise you are doing nothing just like those alpha males who just use their partner.

[@georgialang649]

Yet this is what the majority of men are looking for: - a mother, a servant, a nurse, a social worker, a sex toy with the body of a top model (if possible)! They want one-sided love! These men believe it is important to have a woman who loves them but they do not see the need to love a woman in return!

[@purplelove3666]

Please delete your comment, go back to a marriage in the 50's and see if that was the case,most women do more in the marriage than men,cook,clean, take care of kids, what the heck are the men doing? Other than being an older brother to their own kids?

[@shaymalchione809]

The thing is these days people don’t have a lot of friends or can afford a therapist.

[@vrichards4363]

4:57 right. This ain't slavery. 😂😂😂😂

[@Piscesgirl1977]

I hate when women refer to other women as CIS WOMEN..IM A WOMAN! I DGAF ABOUT NOUNS, PRONOUNS, ADJECTIVES...DON'T CALL ME ANYTHING OTHER THAN HOW GOD MADE ME

[@LoveK1]

Any time a woman says that I nope out of the conversation because CLEARLY she drank the Koolaid and I have NO time for those people.

[@dejaunajackson7666]

💯💯💯

[@ufos-cos]

And you wonder why women just keep saying no to dating anymore & just keep rejecting these losers 😂😂😂😂

[@breezbree7464]

Cis.....ugh despise that word

[@itzTeTe]

Why? It’s just the opposite of Trans. There is no reason to hate it unless you are saying you are not a cis woman meaning you are not a biological woman… Are you saying being referred to as Cis in reference to a scientific term is worse than black men using “females” in a derogatory way to address and define black women? You have every right to not like something but it’s important to ask yourself why and be able to articulate that in a healthy and appropriate manner. Getting mad at someone for saying I’m cis is like me getting mad at someone saying that I’m African American instead of black.. it just does not make sense, when given the definition and origins of the word and the use of it when referring to women that are cis gender aka biological women. They are synonyms and not used in a harmful way the vast majority of the time.

[@azureavocado5195]

If this is a topic about heterosexual pairings (specifically married couples)… Why did you stitch the inputs of gay men? Their input is irrelevant.

[@cd6741]

Right! And he was off topic. No one in the original stitch said m*n not liking their wives equated to them being ghey. I feel like those in that community just want to come on and call someone some type of phobic.

[@Alixir1228]

This is making me realize how much my ex actually cares about me goddamn.

[@sus4nah]

That girl with the slave trade theory is on one… touch grass baby. Wtaf

[@deebee5339]

Exactly! 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@adams8830]

I was so confused by that. "Now that slavery is over let me get a wife". What is this girl smoking??? 😂😂😂😂😂

[@azureavocado5195]

Timestamps are helpful …

[@coachbrit5107]

She was all over the place because she is autistic, but she wasn't completely wrong. Historically, marriages were transactional and had nothing to do with love or friendship.

[@SacramentalSims]

Really? I thought she was spot on. She's saying that since this country was built on slavery, the ripple effects of how we treat everyone and everything as a resource to be exploited to one's own benefit is completely enmeshed into every fabric of our society. From our interpersonal relationships, our jobs, our communities, and our government. It's getting harder to connect with people these days because so many have this "what can you do for me" mentality. Personally I don't think slavery is to blame, but rather the darker aspects of humanity that lead to slavery in the first place. A complete hatred and detachment for life itself. Slavery, racism, sexism, classism, in all the "-isms" that same energy is there.

[@traceylennon1204]

Men need to be like Hakim in Coming To America!!

[@juliaarambula3153]

I have no idea why the mindset is t to be friends first. I just don’t understand marrying someone who I don’t like. That’s not a marriage in my eyes. It’s business. The men marry the very women they will resent.

[@1cjwilliams]

The girl who talked about how this mess originated from slavery got me thinking

[@CordeliaWagner]

All countries had slaves. German men died as rudderers on roman ships. Greeks were kidnapped to be slaves in persia. And on and on.

[@1cjwilliams]

This was about relationships in our community. Wtf are you talking about? Wtf do you think I care about what you have to say? Y’all want us to feel how you want us to feel about the slavery in this country. It won’t work. We will always see you as evil as long as you keep pointing in other directions. Stay tf out of our business. Develop a personality Karen

[@purplelove3666]

No, patriarchy exists in Africa too, what slavery? It's been that way.hence the " traditional woman/wife) nonsense

[@Chris-dh3ve]

10:08 *seven degrees of separation….but to speak to the actual term, it is six degrees of separation.

[@nwalden5744]

I like how these men are calling other men broken …. Cause men love calling women broken

[@KlaudiaShaefferr]

22:04 he's absolutely right! Men being a-holes doesn't mean they're gay. Don't equate an a-hole to gay.

[@KeyaReneeMonroe]

Why tf was the most annoying stitch the longest? 😒

[@Nosteponsneksss]

Does anyone have a link to the original podcast?

[@TheGuniverse2k]

The homophobia talk is tied now. She didn't say that. But honestly the gay stuff isn't black ppl culture. Gay ppl be making everything personal. Our society is designed after Greco-Roman society which was homosexual. The ppl who made homophobic stuff was white men (forefathers) covering themselves up. "I Am not Gay, I am rich! " -Angels in America Go watch that movie. But men that put all their love emotions affection in their male friends and disrespect and dislike women, that's deeper. I am glad many conversations are happening.

[@vrichards4363]

22:21 either way it's dangerous.

[@lexa_power]

Who is the vlogger at 4:31? I love her video I’d love to follow her on Tik Tok but her username isn’t displayed on this video.

[@naturallyhoneybrown]

The young lady at 10:20, well stated.

[@adarateranroldan]

3:58 🔥So true!

[@KeyaReneeMonroe]

What is the gay man talking about? Who said anything about them being gay in this clip!?

[@SR-kz9un]

Not homegirl blaming this on slavery lol yea no. This dynamic has been a thing for thousands of years.

[@omegaone65]

Maid- wife probably also has a prenup

[@natashadickson4819]

A pre-nup can be good if the terms and conditions are fair to both spouses.

[@azureavocado5195]

8:30 Don’t eat me please 😂

[@TEWMUCH]

I wasnt raised that way. I didnt start cooking and cleaning FOR my boyfriend until 3 years in when he began to pay all the bills and i wanted to start acting like a wife lol 😂 and we lived together six months in. We just enjoyed each other's company. These conversations just all sound to me like women act like they dont have a mind of their own. Its always men's fault. Men dont like me, but they marry me. Sis YOU married someone who doesnt like u. How did that happen?! Its your responsibility to be able to determine if u are clicking with someone or not. 🤷🏾‍♀️ a man asks you to marry him, SAY NO if u feel something is off. Both of yall are in a terrible relationship. Take responsibility.

[@kenasssss]

The problem is that some pretend they like you. Manipulation.

[@georgialang649]

Men lie! They don't tell the truth!

[@TEWMUCH]

@kenasssss I can see that, too. Maybe they are talking about circumstances where the person was play showing affection.🤷🏾‍♀️ cuz otherwise, I can tell if a person likes me for me or not. But maybe others can't. 🧐.. I kinda feel like these women got into these relationships because there was something else good going on, and they decided to look over the fact that the man wasn't head over heels for them. And then once they are married, they feel the pain of their decisions. For example, lots of women CHOOSE to marry men that they are not physically attracted to because the man is financially stable or a great family man, but then when they are married and he wants loving. U have every excuse in the book for why u r not in the mood. Its cuz there was never any attraction. The woman CHOSE this path of a sexless marriage. Everyone is not tricking u. U have an ability to make good decisions and say no. U just made a bad decision when u chose your spouse.

[@kenasssss]

@@TEWMUCH True. That's also due to society pressure that makes some women rush things or even lack of self esteem, also the lie that you can't have it all in one "package" or heartbreak from previous relations and not having healed from it. Women need to love/respect themselves more, know themselves, because that way it will be easier for them to wait and find someone they'll actually want to spend the rest of their life with.

[@TEWMUCH]

@kenasssss exactly. Couldn't agree more. This is the direction we Need to head in cuz blaming men or expecting men to do what we want when they have no access to our thoughts, feelings, etc is a waste. We have to accept responsibility for our lives and only accept what we truly want. Until what we truly want comes along just keep enjoying and improving yourself. And we must accept that it is our own low self esteem that has trapped us in these situations. We don't live in an age or location where women get sold to a husband with no choice.

[@jasminruby1]

Such a stupid conversation saying nothing but pretending it’s profound

[@sherrilynnnelson703]

💜💖💜💖💜

[@crystalducharme939]

This!!

[@karenridgeway7556]

I am a 66 year old woman and I have to say that I wish women would say less.

[@amphoteric]

does that apply to you as well lmao

[@alyssawoodman]

Lol! Your name is Karen??? How appropriate!!! We don't want to hear from you either KAREN

[@ashleytanner06]

Why?

[@msaubra6775]

The girl at 6:30 is incorrect

[@Anti-PC-OG-Feminist]

21:45 Okay mansplainer 🙄

[@CitySlickerButtKicker]

My brother is a good man, he learned from my dad. He married his wife as soon as he started making mid 6 figures, and enough to hire maids to clean the house on a weekly basis and never demands his wife to do this, do that, like he's superior. He gives her a soft life, going to exotic vacations, and a closet of designer things. She works still because she wants to and he respects that. My eldest brother the same, even though I dont get along with him but I wont deny he is a hands on partner and father, even to his stepdaughter he guided her and helped her get a scholarship. My dad was a good example to my brothers.