My Ex-Boyfriend Proposed To Me Publicly, So I Walked Out, Now He's Suing r/Relationships

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[@WraysCustoms]

"She (His mother) said that nothing will come of this, and that she raised an idiot." LMFAO

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Lol if you propose publicly you're not allowed to be mad if your proposal is denied publicly.🤣

[@kristinewatson3702]

Let me propose with no warning in a way you said you'd hate with a ring that is the polar opposite of what you said you'd like. You flee the scene and now he wants to sue for the rings? Pardon me while I stop laughing. 🤣 No way he'll win that case. Pretty sure his future law career won't go well. 🤣🤣🤣

[@Scarlett.Granger]

But his emotional distress!🤣🤣🤣

[@kathydurow6814]

E-MO-tional DAM-age (you know the meme)

[@theconfusedvampire]

Don't forget, he also did this proposal after very clearly saying he would never propose. 😅

[@Ax-xo4ux]

Like- the literal most the court would do (depending on area) would be to request the ring get given back through the courts ie; one party brings the ring to the court. And the other picks it up

[@lj0608]

​@@kathydurow6814Steven!

[@Mama_Bear_of_3]

Story 1. OPs ex-boyfriend purposely proposed publically, because he assumed she would have no choice but to say yes, or be embarrassed. He is either dense, or a manipulater.

[@ruthhenderson5413]

I think he knew she would say no, since she had already told him she disliked gaudy jewelry and public proposals. I also think he set the whole thing up as a scam. She never saw the supposed engraving. Maybe he picked the monstrosity up used and cheap on eBay and referred her to the website to establish the price for a new version. Maybe it wasn't even the same ring, but a costume lookalike that he got at a swap meet. Maybe the whole thing was a prank he cooked up with his law school buddies.

[@juliodavila424]

Both. Both is good.

[@ladyv5655]

Why not both?

[@vasiliscond9433]

Story 1 she lied 100% There's a 0% chance he said he didn't want to get married then proposed, with an incrusted expensive ring, nonetheless. She made this post to protect her in court. They were probably talking about marriage for months or years, she led him on about doing it, then got cold feet when he surprised her with the engagement. Not only is she the a hole, but shes a terrible person

[@ladyv5655]

@@RisefromyourGRAVE , why did he propose if he didn't want to get married? Seems like she's the one who didn't want to get married, or at least, she didn't want to marry him.

[@cass973]

Sounds more like a scam than a proposal. He proposed exactly how she DIDN'T WANT!

[@caitofga]

Right? Bets on him somehow getting the rings for free?

[@omnipossum92]

@@caitofga Or they’re fakes of expensive rings?

[@ivorynk752]

That would make sense. At first I was just thinking it highlighted how little he payed attention to her desires, but then it would make you wonder why he bothered to ask in the first place.

[@ladyv5655]

Yes, and with a ring he knew she would hate.

[@theforgotten1803]

@@caitofga it sounds like its class college ring..

[@DisneyChar]

The ring and proposal are very big parts of the story, you specifically discussed how you didnt want those things, then he did exactly that and said you should thank him.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

And the dude is still confused she didn't say no!🤣

[@rogertaylor7433]

@@Scarlett.Granger she did say no, basically by running out of the restaurant.

[@stampandscrap7494]

She should thank him. He made it so easy for her to see what an arse he is

[@Scarlett.Granger]

"If you have nothing to hide you wouldn't be furios" Thats not how privacy works. Nobody would want cameras lifestreaming 24/7 of our daily life because nobody likes to be watched, judged and controlled all the time, not because everyone is a horrible criminal. Like dude thats literally the plot of about 3.000 dystopian novels.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

That type of mentality (it’s suspicious if you don’t want your privacy violated) needs to die out. It’s such immature logic.

[@emte4236]

Big brother is always watching! 🤐

[@wonpilspiano]

I hate that phrase. It’s so manipulative

[@patriciaparker9563]

It's furious not furios

[@selinakyle_]

I choked on my food when she said she ran! Then I *BURST* out loud laughing lol

[@CroobieLetter]

I nearly spat out my tea when HIS MOM contacted her to apologize for her idiot son. Then I laughed for a solid minute.

[@OhCyrus]

How does one put letters in BOLD on YT?

[@fisher7302]

​@@OhCyrusmz,b

[@coryschade9310]

Im so excited to see how the hell someone is gonna try to sue for saying no to a proposal-😂

[@KR91201]

I mean people sued people for raping them in their dreams so I'm not surprised.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

I mean someone tried to sue their neighbours because "their bees take pollen from flowers in my garden, thats theft of MY PROPERTY!" lol

[@kanelovec4315]

There was a women who trid to sue a whole state/community for emotional distressed because she didn't like the LGBT+ group, gay rights, same sex marriage, and more that was legalized.

[@cl5470]

B-but his tender fee-fees are hurt. Don't you understand that his ego is more important than her consent? /s

[@wargamesmaster]

Some lady where I live tried to sue McDonald because she slipped on a french fry... It doesn't matter where you live, there will always be nutjobs suing over the dumbest things.

[@duboisstewart8265]

The autism story broke my heart. I've heard so many stories on reddit from the other kid's perspective about being neglected, never heard one where the parent took their kind out of that situation

[@Allantitan]

“This is the type of case lawyers salivate for” The lawyer must of had to look at the calendar to make sure Christmas or his birthday hadn’t come early that year

[@JS-wj6vb]

Your comment gave a good chuckle. 😆

[@jdd9993]

Tash is simply suffering the consequences of her own actions and nasty attitude. Good for OP for calling her out.

[@owl7072]

Kitten story: It's the way Op said "She can't have play dates unless I'm there" and redditors went "Then fucking be there" as if he didn't also say he's the one working while the mom stays home. He _can't_ be there. He _can't_ be there without potentially losing out on money or even his _job_ which is the only thing keeping them afloat. If he lost his job then they'd probably rip him to shreds for "not supporting his family" properly and possibly even call him a dead beat for not _immediately_ finding a new one with less hours, great pay, and a ton of benefits. Reddit needs to put away the damn torches and pitchforks for five (5) seconds and realize that one kid is being _neglected_ because the mom is too prideful and busy doting on the other and focusing on _her_ wants and needs to even care. Her daughter was becoming depressed and when given something that brought her genuine joy after every other attempt failed or was shot down by her mother, her response was to "take it back". This was always going to end in divorce, there was no other way.

[@DemonAngel]

This. I just looked at my phone like "did that really just happen?" Like does no one ever read these stories? If a parent works too much they need to be there for their family. If they dont help out they are lazy. If they do something for one child they are neglecting the other. If they are angry at one child then they are jerks. And there is a whole slew of info about WHY that I see/read as them fully out of AH territory. The Mom is horrible I mean seriously. To yell at the oldest because "I told you so and that's why YOU got hurt" is so soul crushing.

[@AngelDeed]

Did we read the same story? It's not like the mother stays home and neglects their child because she is lazy. She stays home because they have a severely disabled child that requires constant care. Why don't they switch? Why doesn't op give up his whole life to care for his child? Oh that's right, because men think that's a woman's job. Does op care about his wife's mental health too, or just his child's? She is probably dealing with the fact that she will never have a normal life ever again, never be able to work, be independent etc. You make it sound like she is evil for not wanting to send away her small child like it was such an easy thing to do.

[@DemonAngel]

@@AngelDeed yes we did read the same story. But you seemed to have glossed over the husband had/has the better job. They decided she would stay home. And he has been trying to get help and spend time with all or them. But the wife stonewalled him. Or do you think it's okay for her to just not sat anything and just expect everything to be done for her when she doesn't say anything to anyone? And do you honestly believe that it was okay for her to yell at her hurt child and allow that physical abuse to happen?

[@andrew8308]

​@@DemonAngel yes, as the parent of an autistic child I find the the behavior of the mother infuriating.

[@DemonAngel]

@@andrew8308 My oldest is on the spectrum, not as severe by far, but she can randomly get angry for something. We are still working on figuring out what and techniques. But to blatantly ignore and berate her other child... nah-uh... F that

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

OP's daughter is going to cut her mother off completely. The fact that her mother allows her to be hurt by her sibling, and stands by while her childhood is stolen, is just awful. Eta: there will come a time when that violent child will push their mother down the stairs, or some other equally dangerous thing, and it could be too late to intervene. Mother will be hit by a bigger, stronger, uncontrolled child, and she'll have no one to blame but herself. She's been told this child needs extensive help, in patient help, and she refuses. The consequences will be awful, but predictable

[@jdd9993]

Tash story: As someone who was bullied in grade school, I think that Tash had no clue about tact and got exactly what she deserved. My main bully's initials were B.S. and she was indeed full of bull**it.

[@scorchy_girl9820]

Same I was bullied in elementary school by A, her, and 2 other girls and I were friends for 3rd grade to 4th grade. During 5th something happened and she started excuding me from the group and the other two joined in the exclusion. The other two weren't mean unlike A who kicked be out of wall ball, or 4 square, I ended up hiding in the classroom until the Princable came go me in the last 2 months of school asking me if I ever touched her in a no no square. I said no because I was being assaulted by someone else at the time. I knew I never touched her inappropriately, the schools higher up told me that she claimed I touched her on her chest during a game and I made her very uncomfortable. I moved schools after 6th grade after my parents divorce and as I started to grow up and mature, I started to realize someone at her home was doing the same thing my sa did to me. I feel bad for her if that is the case but it didn't give her the right to Bully and exclude me from every school activity.

[@char-leewiebe7199]

Ally's bully has NEVER GROWN UP and NEVER WILL. Even when Ally was intimidated and belittled as an adult by this bully she has EVERY RIGHT to say "I do NOT want the cycle of ABUSE (narcissistic or otherwise) to continue to me or child!!" Those who are siding with Tash are either bullies or enablers

[@ravenfox926]

Wow. Tash is blaming the OP because she was the LAST person to complain about her shitty behavior? Typical.

[@morganleanderblake678]

For real, never keep someone around who goes through your phone. If you can't have trust, it isn't a relationship, it's a hostage situation.

[@Mglay556]

You know that mom heard about what her son did at church, confronted him and when he said he was gonna sue she slapped this crap out of him

[@cl5470]

Public proposals are always cringe. If it is discussed before, at least it isn't manipulative, but way too many men use a public setting to try and shame the woman into saying yes to avoid embarrassment. I have seen it happen more than once, and it never ends well. She will just say yes initially and then say no in private. Don't do it unless she has already said it is what she wants. For some of us shy folks, a public proposal is an automatic dealbreaker. It would be for me.

[@Pintosonic]

If the guy feels humiliated for the public engagement refusal wait until he makes national news for being the dumb dumb who is suing his ex girlfriend simply because she refused the engagement.

[@AJ-qe5xj]

The bf spying on gf phone gives cheating vibes, like he’s cheating but feels he’s hiding it so well he can’t be caught so he offers up his privacy. Because of his infidelity and past infidelity committed toward him by past relationships he’s now very insecure of what she might be doing. (Written before the conclusion). It really grinds my gears when a cheating partner accuses their significant other of cheating and gets mad and starts a big fight/controlling behavior, when they are the one in the wrong and doing everything their fighting with SO about. Ugh, such hypocrisy.

[@ZombieSazza]

The second story where OPs daughter is harassing her father because he’s divorcing her mother is actually insane. She’s demanding he stay in a loveless, contentious marriage where the wife has cheated and the husband has no intention of staying with her, yet his daughter is attempting to emotionally manipulate her into staying in an extremely unhappy and volatile marriage because she doesn’t want divorced parents, refusing to even consider her fathers happiness or sanity, ignoring his autonomy and right to say “no”. It’s extremely worrying. You’re NTA for distancing yourself from your daughter, maybe one day she’ll understand the damage she’s caused here, but you can’t be around a relative who not only harasses you for putting yourself first, but harasses you into staying in an extremely unhealthy marriage because they demand it. He didn’t “destroy the marriage”, his wife destroyed the marriage by cheating. She did that. It’s actually insane that his daughter not only knew about the affair but helped cover the affair up, and is obviously feeling so guilty that she’s trying to force them back together, as she obviously feels responsible. It’s just so incredibly low that his ex-wife weaponised her daughters birthday to start arguments and harass her ex-husband, it really shows her character.

[@lynnw7155]

All the kids are older so their parent's marriage is none of their business. Maybe instead of calm and rational, OP needs to get dramatic and throw a fit for his oldest daughter's benefit, showing how his wife's affair and daughter hiding it has traumatized him.

[@marie-bernadettebenedict3007]

1st story: poor girl. He didn’t listen to her. The ring and the public proposal are signs that he doesn’t respect her wishes AT ALL. I don’t blame her for running out.

[@wintermute9459]

Phone story: if my SO ever went through my phone, I would be conflicted between being furious at the privacy breach, and utterly pitying him. The only texts I ever delete are scams. I have years and years of texts saved, most that aren't even labeled in contacts, and way too many grocery and food delivery texts. I tried scrolling to the bottom once to see about cleaning them up a bit, but the scrolling never stopped. :/

[@Marymackthequeenofwack]

Are you my long lost sister? Lol I do the same exact thing! I have pharmacy notifications in my messages from 2011! My phone maintenance is constantly nagging me to clean up my text messages for more storage but for some reason I hang on to all of my messages.

[@surrealistgirlx]

Yep. I have a PIN on my phone for a reason. Because boundaries are a good thing.

[@TarisLuna]

Story 2 NTA If that daughter comes at you again with that you are destroying the family, tell her her mom did by screwing some dude instead of staying loyal.

[@pamlew338]

Did the daughter know before and during the affair

[@sylbarose2488]

The audacity of Tasha trying to defend herself 😹

[@ladyv5655]

Yeah! If she was really sorry, she would have made an apology 1st thing when OP and her husband walked into the room. Sounds like Tash is really quite the mental gymnast.😂

[@ZombieSazza]

The autistic daughter story angered me so much, the mother was so, so neglectful towards her eldest daughter, completely emotionally neglected her, refused therapy for her, refused any and all help, oh, and blamed her 7 year old child for being PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS by her autistic sister. I’m so glad the father is advocating for his eldest daughter so she isn’t neglected, trying to get help, trying to get his wife to understand, and sadly this didn’t work because she isn’t willing to listen which will likely be a massive detriment to her autistic daughter later in life. The fact she didn’t phone or bother contacting him after her daughter was pushed down the stairs is horrifying, she’s so happy to completely ignore her eldest daughters health, safety and well-being that it’s extremely worrying, so I’m glad the father NOPED out of there, got his eldest daughter, got her kitten and have gone somewhere safe. Heading that his daughter is already coming out of her shell is fantastic news, it sounds like she’ll be able to thrive!

[@skyelindsey687]

If you don’t want to deal with public embarrassment then don’t propose in public when the recipient has said they don’t like public proposals or you aren’t sure about their feelings. Also why the hell would he buy such a hideous sounding ring when she said plain and simple.

[@Scarlett.Granger]

Also "Do you like public proposals?" "No i hate it" "Well then I'll do it, yay, wanna marry me" "No." *Surprised pikachu face* HOW DARE YOU?! Loooool🤣

[@notovny]

I suspect he'd bought and engraved the rings _before_ he'd asked about what she liked, and someone he'd showed the ring had told him "I don't think she'd like that..."

[@Reffieness]

Everyone is commenting about the first story… why is no one talking about how heartbreaking the kitten story is? As a child-focused mental health worker, I see first hand that having that holds a diagnosis of ASD, or other diagnoses, is complex and I don’t expect parents to know exactly what to do always. That being said, I’m really frustrated that everyone so easily jumped to the “you’re the asshole” verdict only to find out that the situation is a lot more upsetting during the update. I could tell be subtext that there’s a lot more going on than the wife not being able to handle a cat. OPs care for his oldest daughter and cognizance of minimizing the risk of emotional neglect vs moms reaction during the stair incident is really telling. My bear hurts for the girls for having to see their parent fight and ultimately divorce, but it sounds like each girl will get better care with the future arrangement. I just hope that they can put their differences aside and have a healthy coparenting relationship.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

1:09:08 from point on, I knew Tash wasn’t gonna make herself look better. That “joke” she didn’t remember, wasn’t a joke. And now that I listen, Tash did not help her case at all!

[@ilysra1758]

"I wanted to stay in Ireland, he didn't" That's already a red flag. Who wouldn't want to stay in Ireland?

[@babysaho9576]

Looking through someone else's phone without permission not only violates that person's privacy but also violates the privacy of all the persons who contacted them

[@beccatorres]

For 19, this OP shows a great amount of maturity. It’s clear that the OP’s ex was ambushing her and her fight/flight instinct kicked in. Don’t understand how he thought that she owed him for anything. Her instinct to run was clearly the right one.

[@littlegreycat]

When someone made homeless by an abusive parental situation says they don’t want to bother others with their troubles it means they’ve been conditioned to think they are a burden. I hope the OP has a great time living alone.

[@Helmaron1538]

Story one. There's an instinctive reaction called 'Fight or flight. The OP's first instinct was flight. From the description of their relationship this was absolutely the right reaction.

[@KazumiKiguma]

note about the kitten story: that comment about people saying not to dump the autistic child in a facility are living 100 years in the past? thing is, outside of the more major countries, mental health is still treated like a plague. I'm extremely aware of how poor Costa Rica's facilities are, neglectful and extremely disrespectful, as an example. People need to stop assuming everyone online is in places like the US just because theyre using English.

[@neila128]

Story 1: After the assurance that OP's ex doesn't have a legal leg to stand on, I'd be petty and straight up taunt the dude "you're studying law and have an internship at a law firm, but you don't even know something so basic and common knowledge? you have no future as a lawyer."

[@lorifiedler13]

Wonder how his boss or professor would feel about his actions.

[@gumdrop2808]

The audacity from tash💀 “it was just a joke” where tf is the funny then? And when she said that she wasn’t bullying op it’s just an observation like girl no it’s not 😭 you deadass told them that they were ugly. No one likes to hear that even if it was in the past. And no, op did not fucking ended your career it was you there were clearly a lot of complaints about you that’s why they fired you

[@Nursern1974]

Addition: while it seems cruel the court may need to force your wife into getting intervention for the autistic child. I’m sure a lot of her refusal may be guilt or fear of being judged. This will only get worse as she becomes older. She may also need court ordered therapy to have access to your young daughter. Prayers for the entire family

[@agravery223]

Yeah the wife isn't doing anyone in her immediate family any favors... I think the stigma surrounding a group home is there because of how we treat our elderly in this country. We dump them in the home amd forget they exist until we get the inheritance [yes I'm being cynical because I've watched it happen to several friends of mine grandparents] But what the wife doesn't get is that she can literally go everyday to be with her kid at the group home, amd the trained personnel who know how to teach and deal with low functioning autism will give her kid a better chance at happiness then alienating her entire family which as already lead to a divorce... does she even want a relationship with her other daughter?!?! Geez!! Sad story all around.

[@FayolaOnline]

I hate when people ask where I'm from and when I answer they immediately ask where my parents are from. Then I say they are from two different countries and met here. They ask again about my parents and when I mention my dad is Jamaican they go off on how Jamaica is lovely and how they were there on vacation and I just answer "Yeah, so I've heard".

[@Memento_Mori_Morals]

I'm just always amused cause 2 of my great grandmother's were native American so I generally say I'm euro-native-American mix... even if I were 100% native, I wouldn't just blanketedly say "American" because I feel European-Americans have ruined for the other side of my family.

[@sweetluvgurl]

Wow, he didn’t listen to her at all. He got her a ring she said she wouldn’t want (from what she described), and he did it in a way she said she wouldn’t want. Then, he’s shocked she didn’t want to. 😂

[@nilianstroy]

He literally went out of his way to do everything op said she didn't want.

[@bettyam9917]

Hi Markee, sometimes I look at the comments and all I find opinions from first story or post and I understand because the rest of the video has so many stories its hard to keep track. But I think if they were numbered it would be much easier to make a comment about them. Anyway, it is always great to listen to the stories. You have a great soothing voice and it is very easy to follow.

[@OhCyrus]

I kindly agree

[@MimiSimps]

You can time stamp your comment 3:29

[@HealthyObbsession]

I completely agree I like the longer videos for chores But it's hard when you want to skip one or two but wind up skipping most especially if you don't know how long every sing story updates included

[@DanniSoRude]

I seriously hate when ppl refer to me as African American ... Yes, genetically I am Nigerian, but Im from Mississippi 😂 Plus most Africans that immigrate here call us lazy if we only work one job .... I appreciate being PC about my race, but I am an AMERICAN!

[@wonpilspiano]

Lol, I know the feeling but kinda opposite. I was born and brought up in Africa and, I may not completely hate it, but I prefer to be called African, not African American. I love the diversity here and it’s fine to just call me African/Kenyan

[@m0nkEz]

Damn, right off the bat this dude sounds sketchy. Never been a great judge of character, but even I can spot red flags that big.

[@ellieu.6575]

The phone thing makes me so mad. He is not privy to the private information her friends have shared with her. I’ve told my best friend about s**cidal ideations in the past, mental health struggles, trauma that I’ve not told anyone else but my therapist. The fact that he thinks it’s okay to go through private conversations like he owns her fills me with rage.

[@nicolestrong8600]

Same...

[@TarisLuna]

Story about the phone NTA, but leave his a*s. Jealousy is not an excuse for that stuff. My husband was a rather jealous guy when we started dating, but he never ever went that far with it. Being a sligh bit moody is OK, as long as you two are able to talk about why your partner is jealous and you two are able to work through it. Its never OK to just take and go your partners stuff and treat them like they are cheating on you.

[@jettanyx1]

Small bit of advice that I gleaned from #1. Words of wisdom from someone who didn’t listen. If you are unsure of your relationship. Debating on breaking up or have already broken up and gotten back together then thinking of breaking up again. Break up. You’re just scared of unknown waters, don’t be. You need to be 100% sure about who you are with. Plus yea 19 is too young. I didn’t listen to that feeling and got married at 20…enter 10 years of a struggling and abusive marriage. Take your time there’s no reason to rush to marriage.

[@justingibson4111]

The story of the dad threatening to kick OP out constantly is sadly way too relatable, I wish I’d been a bigger person like her to be able to make amends, maybe I wouldn’t have as much baggage about it as I do. 🤷‍♂️

[@Allenluvable]

My younger sisters and I lived in a situation like this. When we were with our parents, (both alcoholics btw) we were "useless, freeloaders, and they should kick us out." But if we actually tried to leave, or stayed away for long periods of time, we were, "betraying the family." My mom is passed away now from liver failure, and my dad has finally become sober. He's much better than he used to be, but there are lots of lingering resentments on everyone's side.

[@justingibson4111]

@@Allenluvable I feel that. My dads a good dude, but he left when I was a kid so yea. It was all on how my mom was that cause it for us. She’s sobered up mostly and is a much better person but the scars are still there so I get you 100%

[@dardega]

You can't really make amends if the other person is not making any themselves, now can you. I think it's extremely rare that abusive, manipulative parents suddenly change their ways. I'm actually worried about OP going back to live at their parent's, because they might find a different way to manipulate their daughter if threatening homelessness has proven not to work anymore.

[@franl155]

"How can I show her how much I love her? I know, I'll get her a ring exactly opposite to what she likes and propose to her in public even though she said she hates that. That'll impress her!" I hate public proposals too, unless, as stated, they've been previously agreed on. If he's not sure that she'll say Yes, ask her in private first. If he feels that he needs a crowd to back him up and coerce her into forced agreement, then her most likely answer is obvious. He was all about *his* embarrassment and hurty feelies, not a mention of how he made her feel

[@vggeek13]

He probably intended for her to say yes in public and no in private and he would sue and claim that she told him she hated the ring and got the bad one on purpose

[@3adgamd3r]

Indian American story before any updates if there are any: as a white dude I gotta say to the fiancé, bro, you get to ask ONCE if she wants a cultural wedding based on her heritage, if she says no the correct response is “oh okay”, NOT “but you’re brown and therefore less American than me”

[@agravery223]

Exactly, I wish more people understand on a deep level that to be American means a melting pot. White does not equal default American. I mean native Americans and blacks were here for the same duration too. This is why reading history books should never be banned.

[@ErisstheGoddessofmanhwas]

Chest injury story :NTA .The most important thing everyone is ignoring is that Op asks that girls permission to touch her, and she says yes . This is ridiculous seriously. Her friends should just stay quiet about all this .

[@AuntLoopy123]

How can we have a legally mandated minimum wage, and yet have our labor have no value in the eyes of the law? It's not JUST the labor he lost, though. He lost the opportunity cost of selling that produce, or the cost of EATING that produce. He shouldn't have sued for his lost labor. He should have sued for the PRICE OF PRODUCE. He lost a harvest, estimated value at $X, and he's suing for $X, because that is what he WOULD have had, had the cow not eaten it. I think by suing for his labor, he was trying to go easy on his neighbor. But then, the judge said, "Your labor has no value in the eyes of the law"??? Too bad he didn't say, in his initial court papers, "I'm suing for the value of my labor, X hours, at Y amount, THE LEGALLY MANDATED MINIMUM WAGE AT WHICH THE LAW VALUES LABOR." I think he got a REALLY crap judge and that judge should lose his seat for that ruling. But also, he should have sued for the value of the HARVEST, instead of just his labor and seeds. Kind of a fustercluck, there. $10. Wow. That really sucks. It costs more than that, just to file.

[@co7314]

Once the girl gave back/refused the ring, she is in the clear.

[@Keyonne88]

I've been married for 13 years and my husband still asks before he uses my phone. Like?! really? I've got nothing on there, but he knows that's my private space

[@kathyhallock2528]

Indian, American story. I am really enjoying this conversation. It's been an Awakening moment to the prejudices of this country. I have to admit that I am one of those who did this very thing. From here on out I will take the same attitude. Thank you for initializing this conversation it's been an eye-opening experience.

[@katyc.1402]

The one struggling with balancing his neurotypical daughters needs with his autistic daughter's, might be making things worse with the ABA therapy though I do think respite care is important for caregivers. I could also speak to the language his friend used (like "low functioning"), I know not everyone has caught up to what autistic people are saying is hurtful to them. I think the bigger picture is the autistic child is abusing the other child without realizing it, and the mom is so focused on one child she doesn't see how much harm she's allowing to happen to her oldest. I hope both children get the help they need.

[@draconicfeline6177]

I've seen mixed opinions on the functioning label - a spectrum if you will. 1: it's hurtful to some, but also 2: it does describe the level of challenge someone has with their autism in a world not built to be operated in with autism. If I say that I am high functioning, I'm saying that for the most part I can operate in this world without help and articulate/take care of my needs independently, but I still have significant struggles and challenges. I don't see any other way to quickly and easily communicate that to someone else.

[@kanelovec4315]

First problem they don't share any future life goals. 2nd they constantly break up violently. And finally biggest murder scene red problem he did all the opposite of her chooses. She wanted private event, she want simple silver, and she wanted danty feminine jewelry. He got male gold foot ball rings encrusted with gems. Did he not listen once in the many times he asked her this questions. It was a power play to try to keep her for his ego because he wasn't done with her. He doesn't care for her choices only what he wants. Now that his ego took a hit he trying to hurt her.

[@kanelovec4315]

Now that I think about it maybe it was his way in trying to traumatize op into not wanting marriage. Make her hate marriage as much as he does but making her first experience a nightmare. I see him also trying to force op to babysit monster toddlers without warning to get her to hate kids.

[@lalalovengun]

Story 1: the major manipulative actions of OP’s ex: “so if you don’t do what I want, in spite of your objections of how it makes you feel, I’ll sue you for emotional distress…” 😂🤣🤡

[@Nursern1974]

YTA your wife does not need the care of a pet. Unless you are willing to take full responsibility of the kitten. Maybe do special outings or activities with your daughter instead of adding the kitten. Explain to daughter that maybe a kitten when she’s older and provide care. The bigger issue is your daughter’s needs being ignored in preference to your daughter. She is being punished for having a needy sibling. Shame on you and spouse for allowing the abusive manipulation. She is due her own individual life and is not responsible directly or indirectly for her sibling.

[@Reality_TV]

These stories in this group were excellent - especially the one about the hyphenated American versus American story. So many people don't realize how ignorant their outlook & views are regarding race, ethnicity and culture.

[@jimbobjones9330]

Thing is, I think the guy thought he was doing the right thing. And he was. At first. Ask your girlfriend what she wants in the wedding, and that's a good thing. But once she says what she wants, let it go. She doesn't want an Indian wedding, and he should respect that. His nonsense about her not being American is also asinine -- she's just as American as he is. If she _wants_ to be "Indian-American", then she can be, but his assertion that she _must_ be makes him a huge a-hole. That said, as a white guy who married an Indian woman nearly 25 years ago (before it was cool ;-) Yep, I'm the original hipster ), he is right that Indians do weddings WAY better than Americans.

[@lalalovengun]

The story of the boyfriend looking through phone: 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Dead giveaway of an abuser!! The fact that he locked himself in the room to look at the phone, and then accuse OP of being good at hiding it, is classic sign of red pill projection: “I can cheat, and it’s okay because it’ll mean nothing and because as a man, I’m entitled to it, but I’ll be clever enough for you not to find out, but YOU under no circumstance CANNOT cheat because I OWN you and nobody else. I wouldn’t be surprised if he installed some sort of spyware into OP’s phone to keep track of her in case they break up. 🤡

[@SapphWolf]

Tash Story: OMG you've got to be kidding me. "I do not believe that it was fair of here to take away the opportunity for me to grow and be a better person." - She didn't take away shit from you. She doesn't owe you the opportunity to apologize and just saying you're sorry doesn't mean that you've grown or become a better person. You do that on your own. If you can't apologize in person then apologize through your actions and never be that mean person to anyone else ever again. "Even if I did say that fat people weren't allowed, it was probably a joke." - What's the joke? What was supposed to be funny about it? You were making fun of her because of her weight. It's not a joke, it's being a bully. The fact that you don't recognize this shows you haven't grown as a person at all. "Allie is just as sensitive as when she was a kid." - "It was just a joke. Don't be so sensitive." Is literally mantra of bullies everywhere. Exactly what kind of growing as a person do you think you've actually done since you were a kid because I'm not seeing any of it. All I'm seeing is a meanspirited person who didn't like that people said she was an awful person so she went into a career with special needs kids because people in that career are seen as good, kind, selfless people and that's what you wanted people to see you as. "OMG! You used to look so awful, but you look so much better now!", is such an obvious backhanded compliment that there was no world where that was not going to be taken for the insult it was absolutely intended to be especially coming from you the person who reminded her on the daily about how she looked back then. Are you even capable of introspection? If you want the credit for growing and changing then you have to actually grow and change. Don't just acknowledge that you were mean, but UNDERSTAND why what you did was mean, why it hurt their feelings, and what you could have said differently to no hurt their feelings so you can avoid doing it in the future.

[@Wikita007]

So....the bully went to the comments to defend herself, and she basically confirmed everything OP had accused her of. Hahaha.

[@Masqueradia]

He’s waving a big red flag saying he wants to end the relationship but has no guts to do so as she’s probably his only prospect…. Also who wants a Super Bowl ring for an engagement ring???

[@inthewindago]

My husband and I know each other’s phones passwords. We have standing permission to use or look, whenever we want. But we don’t! I feel like I’m invading his privacy. If I read a text message that pops up, when he’s in the shower. Even if I’m also waiting on his friend to get back to him. (Like what time are they coming over?) We have used each other’s phones in situations like OP’s. But only to do what’s asked of us. We have a very strong relationship with good communication. If we’re hiding something, it’s a good surprise. But our phones are now like a private diary. Only they have all our intimate thoughts feelings and desires. He had no right to snoop like that!

[@AJ-qe5xj]

Guy number one… makes me wonder of OP, what good qualities made you want to stick around and keep coming back to the relationship? I’m starting to think OP didn’t want to be with him, but didn’t want to be alone so was going to use him as a significant other placeholder until she found a partner that was truly compatible to her. Some people just are really adverse to being alone, or not being in a relationship and when one ends they either get back together with the ex or immediatly jump into another relationship. Maybe not for this case, but I’ve sadly seen this all too often.

[@tinycrimester]

i do not and will never fucking understand people who blame the faithful partner for not wanting to stay married to a cheater. in this case it's obvious that the daughter is feeling guilty because of her involvement and is trying to shift the blame to ease her own suffering. something to think about if you find yourself in a similar situation...

[@luvondarox]

12:30 "Don't break up the family" Seriously?? The cheating mother already did that, babe. It's done. Gone and over.

[@all4beauty744]

I love your vids!! I turn your vids on when I have trouble falling back asleep. 1. The vids are long enough to keep the noise at a common aound 2. Your voice is so soothing! I know it sounds like you put me to sleep but it’s a compliment from a chronic insomniac!

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

That proposal story - the way he managed to do the exact opposite of what OP wanted is almost impressive.

[@DragonflyandTheWolf]

"If you don't have anything to hide. . ." I hate that logic. Like, no I don't have anything to hide, but I do have friends that tell me very personal things that I'm fairly certain would not want other people to know about.

[@trixmania]

So it was OK for Tash bring up past feelings for op instead of bite tongue and being a grown up.

[@astrovalleyzone7140]

She whined about not being given the chance to apologize because she was blocked, but she never took the chance to do so when she came face to face with her years later or when she found the reddit post. Tash definitely hasn't grown up.

[@trixmania]

@@astrovalleyzone7140 some people never do

[@Nursern1974]

Red flags your boyfriend and his parents are bigots!!! You are right in thinking about both yourself and future children. You’ve given him reasonable explanations.

[@Lionwoman]

There's a say here (and a lot of places) that bullies end up being cops or teachers. Seems like they need their powetrip.

[@meghanplayssims]

kitten story: something about the update is too convenient for me. a really popular comment about putting the daughter in a home and how she could get violent leads to an update where mom is unreasonable and dad saves the child from violence. i think its fake

[@randomaccount-dq1jq]

Chris‐chan being brought up while enjoying random reddit auto playlists ? Nope, thats me done for the hour lol.

[@Indie_Calls]

Story 1: Holy narcissistic abuse, Batman! That man was blatantly waving all his red flags. Ugh...I'm not OP, and my skin is still crawling.

[@duanesamuelson2256]

Indian woman and fiance. Fiance actually is in a very difficult place. In the US ethnicity is confused for nationality (like German American) culturally. In addition in virtually every government form you fill out has ethnicity boxes to check off as well as a large portion of the population insisting on "race"- American. There is a cultural trend now to divide people by ethnicity and you are damned if you don't and damned if you do.

[@aislynnmari]

HE WAS TRYING TO SCAM YOU ABOUT THE RING FROM BEFORE HE INVITED YOU OUT TO EAT

[@terranbishop5549]

That was the most disingenuous apology from Tash I think I have ever heard. Glad she was fired.

[@nousernamesarevalid]

“Relationships are about compromise,” yet OP is the only one bf wants to compromise.

[@Al-bs5lj]

Oh man poor op 💀 story 1 I can understand her running away from that situation literally lmao. Most people know that’s awful to do and feel bad for the person the spotlight is on but it’s an experience that will haunt you forever lmao. Well at least in my experience. If anyone is interested in my story keep reading! Honestly I wish I did what op did and ran off it would have saved a lot of awkward conversations to the private environment of my home. So when I was 19 I finally started dating, I spent most of my life alone and never really considered dating, I was focused on caring for my disabled grandmother and siblings. At 18 I moved out and started my new life of independents but I had a job while going to school and having an internship so I still wasn’t thinking of getting into a relationship and had no desire to. I don’t want to sound self absorbed or cocky but I do believe im a good looking women and so do most other people, I was known as the fat ugly girl that was bullied relentlessly growing up but around age 15 my appearance basically had a huge glow up and I didn’t notice until others started treating me better and quickly became the girl guys wanted and the envy of other girls, it felt good I can’t lie but I still had many insecurities and it all felt like a dream. I have the curvy body most women would do anything to have and my coworkers often joke about how I’m “gods favorite”, I’ve been to therapy and now I have a large amount of confidence, I believe I’m beautiful inside and out. But I quickly realized men didn’t care about who I actually was, I was the hot girl who loved anime and video games and that’s all most people cared about. My grandparents and friends were baffled I had never been in a relationship and was in fact still a virgin, my grandparents kept bringing up how weird it was and they kept trying to set me up with guys, my friends set up a dating profile for me one day and I didn’t plan to use it but my grandparents were absolutely insisting I date this guy they chose and i thought it’s better if I just choose someone myself and it could be a good experience. I matched with this dude and he seemed decent. I immediately told him I’ve never slept with anyone and I’ve never been in a relationship, I also told him about my PTSD so any sexual interactions will have to be very slow and it’s going to take a long time before I’ll sleep with him and he said he totally understands. Now this guy was a deadbeat, he told me he lived with his grandma and was going to college and that’s why he didn’t have a job and I soon found out he didn’t even go to college anymore, he kept saying how he wanted me to start doing twitch streams in revealing clothes because I’d get lots of money on top of my job, schooling and internship so I could get us an apartment and he would keep going to school as I did all the house work and paid all the bills. I was already not okay with that. Anyways a lot happened and after 2 months of dating he was getting very pushy about me finally sleeping with him and I told him that I said it was going to be a very long time before I can do that, he then went on a rant saying how it was his right as my boyfriend and I needed to get over it. In that moment I knew I was dumping him but I needed a plan. I needed one because he would go on and on about how I wasn’t allowed to ever break up with him and if I did he would unalive me and then himself, I also found out he stalked me before I even knew who he was because he saw me in a poison ivy costume on Halloween. It was gorgeous costume and I’ve never felt more confident in any clothing like I did then and I’m still very very proud of it. Anyways I already had been thinking of moving to a different city and realized I needed to make that happen as soon as possible. I hinted to him to test how he would react and he went balls to the walls crazy and said I wasn’t ever allowed to move without his permission and if I tried he’d force me to move in with him and his grandmother. I set everything into motion in and in a few days I’d be gone. I think he suspected something because he randomly showed up and wouldn’t leave. After 3 days I finally got him to leave. I called an Uber and we sat on the sidewalk waiting, there were a shit load of kids and they’re parents outside and when the Uber shows up he deadass got down on one knee and proposed to me, he didn’t even have a ring and everyone was just watching us and the Uber driver looked annoyed, he mentioned it before and asked what I’d say if he proposed and I told him I’d say no so he obviously was trying to put me in a position where I couldn’t say no. I’m a very soft person, you tell me to do something or ask for something and I’ll do it, I gave my sister around 20,000$, why did she need it? Idk, did she pay me back? Nope, I’m a push over and it’s a HUGE flaw of mine, it’s almost ruined my life so many times and I’m very ashamed of it. But I’m that moment something snapped and I basically thought “hell nah, I may be a pushover weakling in every other aspect of my life but I’m not gonna marry a man that will ruin everything good about me and make me even more miserable and depressed” so I looked at him and said “dude we literally just talked about this a few days ago and I said specifically I would not say yes” he then rambled on and on about how he’ll give me time to think about it and realize this is what I want and need. The next day I left and moved 6 hours away, I blocked him on everything and he continued to stalk me for 2 years, he managed to find my new phone number and I deleted all my social media accounts and made new ones with no personal information or indexation of it being me, I made those accounts to solely to see updates on anime’s and video games I like and he found those as well, he would call me all the time and I became really good friends with some coworkers and on break he kept calling me from a different number once again and my coworkers decided they would answer. One was a bi sexual man who was in a committed relationship with his male significant other and he answered my phone and said “hey man. Sorry she’s not available I’m currently balls deep” that’s when he hung up immediately before getting a reply, they all started to take turns and it was beautiful and hilarious. He eventually stopped but I’ll never forget the look on my other coworkers face when he answered the phone with that.

[@KeitieKalopsia]

I loved the American/Indian wedding post so much because I am from a Chinese-Vietnamese household but grew up very Americanized. I call myself Asian-American, but I feel like I’m faking a lot of the time, like I’m not displaying my culture the way I should. The beautiful resolution of this post has given me hope that I’m not alone in this and that I can sometimes work out.

[@iffykitten8742]

“You tell me, it’s a million thoughts! You decide!” That absolutely sent me.

[@evelynberrios8164]

The story where OP is a student and works. Why is mom so worried for her daughter when father said he could make her homeless. Why mother didn’t help her daughter. I strongly believe there is on golden child in the home and is not her. I bet OP has not told us the way she is treated at home and Golden child does nothing. OP no one absolutely no one, can say what you did is wrong! Tell your friend that you appreciate her input but she knows nothing of your home life or why you made the best decision for your mental health. Thank her for her concern but when you need advice you’ll ask for it. OP do what is right for you. Take your time. When you feel emotionally healthy then and only then you could have a conversation with your mom in a coffee shop, neutral territory. Wish you the best life has to offer. You are a very strong and you’ll make it on your own. You got this. 😊

[@micaylamae3283]

If that guy can prove his ideas were stolen (probably not) he could in theory, get $10,000 with an extremely persuasive lawyer (very unlikely). All of this based on the idea that a thought it worth a penny.

[@staylor3483]

Pageants can be fun for some but they aren't for everyone. My granddaughter moved from the NE US to SE US late last year. As a preteen she is very involved in cheerleading, but also enjoys Mixed Martial Arts. She has the best of both girly & tomboy lives. Love that girl!

[@stephjovi]

I wish I could send those reddit stories to a friend who needs to hear those messages. Her bf isn`t only looking for her phone now, he has looked through her old phone and all messages he found threw years before she ever knew he exists. blames her for everything he finds, every man she`s ever taken a photo with every man she ever gave her number to. Before she met him. She knows it`s bad but she stays.

[@silverwurm]

A premeditated proposal purposefully pushing pressure for permanent pairing in public? Preposterous!

[@b.c.9358]

How dare you make me pay for something I bought, I'm suing!

[@BlueGlowingLight4]

The Story at ~ 1:30:00 where the OP was threatened with being kicked out. My mum used to say something along the lines of "Why don't you pack your bags and leave?" One time when I was maybe 9 I actually packed a bag and resolved that the next time she said it I'd actually leave. Fortunately, she found the bag and when asked I explained my logic; needless to say, she was pretty upset and there was some yelling, but I don't think she ever said that to me ever again.

[@HealthyObbsession]

I'm so sorry your mother put you through this I hate that fully grown adults use such harmful words towards children Teen, preteen any age where they are legally obligated to take care of you NO ONE DESERVES THIS The one person who should make you feel safe and wanted. Breaks that trust over and over because it is easier to use a child as an emotional punching bag than it is to take a step back take a breath and come back with a cooler mind Come back and talk things out I will never understand the “Do as I say not as I do” mentality What happened to “Leading by example”?

[@julias2855]

There was a great Dr Phil episode on parental alienation. It reminds of the parent who refused to vaccinate her child & ended up in ER.

[@SCUBASUEReynard]

Dude looking through girlfriends phone is probably cheating himself. This is not a man but a boy. The trust is broken.

[@Nursern1974]

Wonder how Christy would feel if her boyfriend cheated on her?? Mom destroyed the family not you! Distance yourself from this nonsense. Mom is probably feeding the daughter’s craziness

[@lkayh]

Fish story: some fish are more sensitive to things than others, so it is entirely possible for one fish to die while others don’t. I’ve been keeping fish for over 30 years. I’ve had my entire stock of one type of fish die off while the others and the shrimp, which are notoriously sensitive, survived. My shrimp seemed very hardy until the city hardened the water, then they all died, while everything else in the tank had no problem. AND even if the melamine, which is nitrogen rich and could have altered the balance of the tank, didn’t kill the fish, this dude was cleaning house when he noticed the problem. Cleaning chemicals on his hands could have caused problems in the tank. I know an aquarist who killed her stock because she had lotion on her hands when she cleaned the tank, and again, some fish are more sensitive to small changes than others. ETA in this situation because the roommate should have made VERY clear to OP that ALL he was to do was feed the fish (and explicitly told him how much-over feeding can kill as well). Honestly the fish would probably have been fine over a weekend without food anyway, since the number one thing that destroys a tank is over feeding. She should have warned him that putting ANYTHING in the tank except the food could be harmful. And yes, OP is TA for taking it on himself to do anything beyond feeding the fish without checking with the roommate. I get it-with almost any other pet if you see a mess you clean it up-it’s part of pet sitting, but fish and reptiles, and to an extent birds as well, are far more sensitive to changes in their environment. OP should pay for the fish-and I don’t know of ANY salt water aquarium fish that only cost $10. More like $50 and up.

[@bbureau12]

Story 1: A public proposal is something you only do if you're 100% on the outcome. Personalizing or otherwise rendering a $1.5K piece of jewelry unreturnable is only something you do if you're 100% on the outcome. If you're dead set on surprising someone with an engagement, and you don't want to, y'know, make sure you're both on the same page before going forward with a major purchase, you might want to buy the ring first, propose privately, and only personalize it if they say yes.

[@Nursern1974]

OP red flags all over this! He’s accused you of cheating! When people show you who they are believe them. Running away like a brat and doesn’t apologize. Controlling bully. Walk away fast

[@sdragut]

send this story to his boss at the firm where he is an intern and pretend to ask for advice from his boss, he doesn't have a prayer!

[@stoogie375]

if she feared fo rher safety couldnt she have gone out a window or back door to a neighbor's? no way in hell am i getting in someone's car willingly to talk if i suspect that theyre unstable