My Partner Wants To Name Our Child After His College Crush r/Relationships

[@debdoug4136]

Never apologize when you've been wronged. I took the "high road" 28 years ago by not telling family what happened (SIL she's a just no) and am now finally hearing how she's slandered me for the entire time. Get out in front of that stuff guys.

[@blacksun54]

that mom flat out admitting that she wouldn't have protected her son when a grown ass adult was bearing down preparing to beat him up... wow mother of the fckin year.

[@corlenajames1381]

Story 1#: Naming a child after a crush that isn't interested in you is heading straight into Creepsville...

[@britvica]

As a matter of fact...growing up in late 80ies..reading some bs teen love stories had so many endings with "giving the kid hers/his name" or even going separate ways, having life, family..only to have their kids meet on coincidence and fall in love and live the love their parents couldn't...just cheesy teen crap...wasn't that unusual at that time

[@mb8787]

@@britvica yeah, because printed literature have "never" been creepy...

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

So my sister liked a name of husbands ex… she said in the labour room "we are never going to see her again and doubled down on my nieces name" fast forward niece. Is a toddler their marriage breaks up… her dad dates then married woman she’s "named after"… they went overseas on a holiday and the non-English native security guards were a little confused as their middle names are similar too. My cousin named her daughter the other name they we’re tossing up about. But I’d never be ok with this scenario the dad needs to take a beat. In the meantime knowing that teachers have the worst time naming kids I’d be doing google search of the name and trying to Throw some shade on it, double down on using my own last name for baby, nickname the baby as soon as she’s born… maybe even filing the papers alone.

[@judelbugsrutter6727]

There’s also what does it rhyme with… I used to get called my name mixed with poodie, rudi, nudie which sux. Initials are a thing too. Also if my brother tried this crap my sister and mother (and I) would not let him get away with disrespecting his wife like that. Where are they in this story?

[@TiffWaffles]

He'd start looking at his daughter the same way that he looked at his love interest.

[@mygodisthemoon]

The story about the teen boy being called 'woman beater' for hitting his cousin, NTA. This is why I teach my 5 year old daughter not to hit anyone unless absolutely necessary because the person she hits has every right to strike back and just might. If my 5 year olds capable of understanding this, I'm sure a 16 year old is as well. This shows that uncle and aunty kinda fail in the parental department, not any sort of character flaw in OP based off the post

[@myself0510]

Aside from hitting bad and all that, I tell my son not to start something he can't win. He slapped the annoying boy (it's handled with the school) because he was fed up. I was internally proud of the other boy that my son didn't end up in a little crying heap. Actually, no, I did tell my son that the boy made the good choice when he didn't.

[@ladyofshallott5005]

My mother used to yell at me often on our way to kindergarten when I must have been ~3-5. How annoying I was,how she regretted having had me, how it was such a bad idea and her life was so wonderful before I was born. I remember every word of some of these outbursts.When I broke off all contact at age 28,I told her that I always despised her and I always knew I had to leave because my oldest memories of her are those,where she yelled at me that it had been a mistake to have had me. I also remember all the fights she had with my father while I was in Kindergarten about how annoying I was and what a mistake it had been to have had me. Why do people seem to think that kids don't notice or remember?

[@BruinPhD2009]

My late aunt was an elementary school teacher. She always said the biggest mistake adults made was to assume children were stupid. Just because children didn’t always have the words to express what they witnessed didn’t mean they didn’t have some understanding, especially in matters of right vs. wrong. I’m sorry your mother left such a bad mark on your childhood.

[@grandmaraven717]

I'm so sorry you went through that. My mom left no doubt that my birth ruined her life... In the '50s society dictated women with children became stay at home mom's.... She had wanted to continue to work.

[@MsArtistwannabe]

I’m sorry to experienced that. My mom said out loud she had me because she was catholic but didn’t want me. I overheard a colleague tellin her toddler she regretted not getting an abortion with him.

[@damien678]

I remember being 3 at my grandma's dinner table, near my uncle with a kid's backpack. It was either blue's clues or thomas the tank engine. probs blue's clues though. I also only slightly remember standing up to my dad at 3 when he was attacking my mother. The clearest, oldest memory I have is when it was my 4th birthday and I woke up and remember thinking about how I felt awake for the first time, like... consciously. I remember a lot about the party my mum set up too, it was nice. Apparently there's a study claiming that _on average_ the earliest people can recall a memory is from when they were two-and-a-half years old.

[@Undomaranel]

"Why do some people think that kids don't notice or remember?" Because they themselves don't remember all the vile things they say and do. It's easier to gaslight your victim and make them doubt themsekf than it is to face your abusive reflection and take responsibility for reality.

[@luvondarox]

😆 Yo, Carly threw the first punch. By any standards, she started the fight, and OP finished it. She played a stupid, _stupid_ game, and found out. That's discounting the fact that that girl slapped him hard enough to draw blood in the first place.

[@mothertrucker936]

S3: NTA being a parent of boys, I taught them to never hit/hurt a girl but I also taught them to defend themselves. This fkng BS of asking a boy to stand there while a girl hits him is exactly that, BS. You want to use your fists, expect to be hit. Stay clear from Carly, she’s obviously a liar. I shudder to think about the poor guys that’ll associate with her. Your uncle will be looking through bars if he doesn’t wake up and parent his daughter. I fkng hate liars.

[@michaelplunkett8059]

No fists. Block, deflect, shove away and leave. It is a sexist society and the rampant misogyny is too unfair to men. Remove yourself from hostile situation.

[@ladyoblivious]

👌

[@CatherineMcClain]

Imo the lesson should not be "don't hit women"; it should be "don't hit people unless it's self defense."

[@mothertrucker936]

@@CatherineMcClain of course that would be the preferred action but it’s not the case. Many women enjoy having that power of being “allowed” to hit a man without retribution and when he does hit back, or just try to hold her so she doesn’t hit him again she’s running to the cops.

[@aimies]

@@mothertrucker936 yeah it fking crazy how there’s a liar who would lied about being abused or SA out there. I head so many story about men got their life ruin by these b. These people are the one who make people not believe the real victims.

[@panicattheanimationstudio5673]

As the child of a mother who never wanted me he needs to leave her ass because as the child a similar the situation I can assure you that you KNOW. You KNOW when your mother doesn't want you. And her merely not wanting the kid can escalate to resentment and straight up abuse as it did in my case.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Yeah my mother flat out told me she hated being a mom and I stole her youth and beauty and potential. My parents never divorced and are still together but they hate each other and I hate them both. I WISH they divorced. I wish they still would divorce. I am no contact and ran away from home 17 and never went back. My sister did the same a few years later. I have been in weekly therapy for almost 3 years now and I'm still filled with rage and hate at my mother. To be fair she went out of her way to try to sabotage jobs and relationships and tell me I could never do whatever it is I wanted because she couldn't stand to see me happy or successful. My mother is a MONSTER and I despise my father for not protecting me from her. And unfortunately OP is going to end up with a daughter who hates him too because he didn't protect her from her mother. Idk why but there are so many mothers who are so envious and hateful to their daughters. Far more than there are mothers who treat their sons that way.

[@panicattheanimationstudio5673]

@@WhitneyDahlin damn are we siblings cause like we damn near have the same life story. Only difference is my step dad failed to protect me and my bio dad tried his best (my mom was totally the type to pull a "if I can't have you no one can" and kill me)

[@panicattheanimationstudio5673]

@@WhitneyDahlin okay, we DO have more than just that difference but still, we both booked it at 17 and are no contact and my mom said the same shit to me

[@WhitneyDahlin]

​@@panicattheanimationstudio5673 OMG we are twins! I am so sorry you went through that too tho. it makes me so sad how common it is I hope you are doing well and are happy now ❤ Maybe we should start a book club or something lol

[@panicattheanimationstudio5673]

@@WhitneyDahlin I'm doing mostly okay now, I hope you are too!

[@JSainte17]

Imagine if OP told the daughter nonstop that "Mommy never wanted you. She never wanted any kids!" Except he wouldn't do that because he's not a monster, and actually cares about his child. She's vile.

[@samx36]

The wife ruined her own life. It sucks but yeah, she needs to deal with her issues.

[@samx36]

@@Azulakayes agreed. OP may have had it strained as a child of divorce but having a parent who resents you is torture. At least OP is trying with fake it until you make it. I also don't blame the mom, I just think she needs help because no one talks about regretting your children, only regretting that you didn't have them. Now they're in this mess cuz she changed her mind only to change it back. Can't put the cat back in the bag, the kid is here and suffering.

[@jr5557]

@@Azulakayes especially a 6 year old like it would still be wrong with a baby but a 6 year old can definitely hear and understand. She is doing huge damage to her kid op needs to get his daughter out of that environment

[@fandomfan2800]

nope

[@JSainte17]

@@fandomfan2800 Brilliant argument. It's an honor to be in the presence of such a scholar.

[@hyzenthlayrose2176]

I love it when you put out 2 hour long videos. It's the perfect thing for when I'm drawing and need something to listen to.

[@lucycarlisle9120]

I listen while at work. His voice is very calming & I can listen & still get through my tasks.

[@alexlibby5087]

Not even through the first story; yet I was actually stopped in my kitchen like “What? Am I hearing this right now?… I literally can’t even 😶”

[@luvondarox]

For the OP whose wife keeps bringing up abortion, I so, so badly want him to clap back with "And you agreed. When you changed your mind, _I_ agreed." That woman riled me right tf up.

[@mpo2706]

1st story. He is gaslighting her, could careless about her feelings. His friends are more important than his partner when naming their child and this should make it ok because he is not in love still with the friend he wants to name their daughter after? Major red flags. She needs to leave him. His tears were just from being embarrassed by his mother's and friends's reactions to his stupidity and the horrible way he was treating his partner. He probably doesn't even agree with his friends just going along to look good to them again. Stupidity is not an excuse for his outlook on life. I feel sorry for her.

[@muhname6052]

Broken nail: I make sure dear mom would know that the relationship is strained. Sorry doesn't just undo that she was willing to let her brother beat her adolescent son. Not alot of value on that side of the family

[@Gregarious3]

Should have taken pictures and called the cops. The girl committed assault on a child. You are always ok to hit back to get away.

[@josephmckee3605]

I can see carly making a false S. A accusation in the future, she was pretty quick to make up a story to cover her wrong doing and spread it around the family

[@WardenSpectreCommander]

The mom was going to let her 14 year old get mudstomped by her idiot brother, glad the dad was there. After that discussion during the update where the mom was hesitant about her brother and son. She lost her son's trust right there. The dad showed he can be counted on through thick and thin. The mom showed she is fairweather and not to be trusted.

[@judymetzger3253]

What everybody seems to be missing is his son pays for part of his skating. His daughter wants everything given to her that is the problem I see. She's old enough to be responsible for herself.

[@cass973]

I don't understand how they can plan for a baby but won't get married until they are emotionally ready 😳

[@CatherineMcClain]

Right?! That makes 0 sense.

[@heymikey4025]

For the story of the Good Samaritan that saved the choking victim I think that he should let the law office know about his friend’s prank that was using their office to try to make the letter official looking…let the “friend” reap what he sowed and get sued by a pissed off law office! Of course I also think that he should dump this prankster friend of his…but let his ex friend sweat about actually getting sued!

[@WhitneyDahlin]

STORY 1. If the name was just a stupid joke between friends WHY DID HE COME HOME CRYING AFTER REALIZING HE CANT NAME HIS DAUGHTER AFTER HER??!!??? Girl he isn't over her at all. Probably never will be since he hasn't gotten over her by now. There's just something super sketch going on that once he had a talk with his mom and friends and realized that he can't name his daughter after the girl he's loved for the majority of his life he's crying?!! if it was just a joke and he truly had no feelings for her anymore why did he come home crying and so upset? Because it wasn't a joke and he DOES still have feelings for her and was using that joke as a cover. it's so obvious to me. Having a child has made him probably have a quarter life or midlife crisis and think about what could have been, which is why he was so adamant on naming his kid after her. He wishes he was having the kid with her and not you. I feel so badly for OP.

[@mikaq19]

Probably upset because his own mother ripped him a new asshole. He got called out on his crap and even his friends called him an idiot.

[@carolroberts4614]

I think op thought he was crying because he was made to realise that he'd upset her, and got a dressing-down from his mum. But I thought it was manipulative tears. I never thought about the reason you gave! I hope op treads carefully now, because he's not trustworthy.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

​@@carolroberts4614 oh no I never thought about it being manipulative :/ I definitely think it's far more likely the tears are manipulative or because he's genuinely in love with that girl and genuinely upset he will never have kids with her than because he's sad he hurt his wife. OP told him over and over before then she was uncomfortable with it that it upset her and he didn't give two f**ks then. Man I hope OP and baby are okay

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

Because he realized he was a jackass that hurt his wife over a stupid joke. That’s literally the reason OP gave, don’t make mountains out of molehills. Go touch some grass or something instead of being neurotic and imagining a 1001 scenarios where there’s still drama and conflict. Just let the positive update alone.

[@tieardragon4919]

He is a moron she should have broken up with him.

[@brenttaylor8907]

First story reminds me of how we named our first daughter. We both liked the name but it was also the name of college a classmate who was pretty and nice. No crush, just a positive impression and the only person we knew with that name at the time. At a class reunion years later, we half seriously told her that we named our daughter after her.

[@naomiwormley7891]

That’s pretty sweet lol what was her reaction?

[@brenttaylor8907]

@@naomiwormley7891 I think she just laughed a little. We did mention that mostly we just liked the name.

[@marierodd9451]

I was 2.5yrs old when my parents separated and I still vividly remember my dad blocking me in the living room doorway asking me if I wanted to stay with him or go with my mom. Trauma like that imprints in your mind even when you are that young so 5 was old enough for poor baby to remember. When I was about 12 I asked my mom about that day. She affirmed that was exactly what happened.

[@DraidensDen]

So many long videos lately! Thank you for blessing our days with your amazing content, Markee

[@barbaraunderwood1762]

My husband’ told our sons , u don’t hit a girl but if they want to fight like a man go for it. He also told them never hit first but than take care of them & if u feel like u r losing pick something off the ground. My youngest son was a fighter. He taught our daughter how to fight. A guy from her school wanted to fight her , she said ok, but the guy never showed. She’s 49 now.

[@kristinwiebold2433]

Update. I am glad relatives were told the truth it is sad that not all apologized but it shows which you can trust. But even bigger, my OP's mother's own words he and us realized she wouldn't protect OP. Thank goodness OP'S dad was there or else I bet the uncle would have beaten OP even though all OP did was one hit to defend himself. Glad the 2 family's arent going to met together and I wouldn't hang with those other relatives that refuse to apologize. Truly think cops. Should have been called so the assault could be reported and the fact that uncle threatened OP.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

The girl who hit the boy 2x fighting over the remote control: she is the NEW AMBER HEARD.

[@melmelbry5754]

I'm wondering why everyone hates Amber but still defends Kanye. He is also an evil narcissist with other personality disorders just like Amber. But because Kim doesn't share any of that, people don't think he's horrible too. ALL narcs are abusive and people need to stop defending him. Kim is an abuse survivor just like Johnny. Please als0 cancel psycho Kanye.

[@goddessmelanisia]

My late husband never wanted kids. During labor, I needed an emergency C-section, and I told him if he had to choose to save one of us, to choose HER, not me. He said he couldn't do that. After our daughterwas born, he held her in his arms with a look of absolute wonder. I said "and now?" His response, "Her. Everytime." It's pretty normal for guys not to bond until after birth. Many moms don't bond until after birth. As an adult, it's the parents job to get therapy.

[@brenttaylor8907]

The last story: The "friend" needs to pay damages and spend time in prison to pay with her life and time for what she stole from the couple.

[@Solarstormflare]

It was a terrible thing to do but i think the husband is just as bad

[@MsMookalate]

Last story made me Laugh with relief. Like have a supportive parent in both financial *AND* Love life is amazing.

[@carlrood4457]

Anyone who tells you they can't control their feelings is lying. People set up emotional boundaries they won't cross all the time. Anyone who actively pursues a friend's SO is no friend and made a choice.

[@maryturpel8413]

Carly will continue her physical reactions on a future partner.

[@livelovelife32]

Except future partner may not take too kindly and return her attacks with greater force. Best she learn now that not everyone is willing to endure physical violence just because she's female before she puts her hands on a man that won't practice even a quarter of the restraint her cousin showed.

[@lindahoward7309]

About the child and the name! Our daughter was born! My husband wanted Sandy, his ex wife's name that was tattooed on his arm when he was 18 in the navy. He said because it was a sweet name, not because of her! We named our girl Susan, I've often wished I given it more thought and not just grabbed a name to get past the Sandy!

[@lademonessa3075]

To be fair he probably wanted that name because he already had the tattoo and A) it hurts to get a tattoo and B) it’s cheaper since he doesn’t have to pay for more ink. ;p

[@ludmilamaiolini6811]

Yeah, I’m his case it probably made sense, because then he could tell people the tattoo was because of his daughter, and not his ex wife’s name 😂😂😂 All jokes aside, the situation sucks

[@firerosenight6937]

A name has to have 2 "yes" for it to with work, and 1 "no" for this to not work. Naming a kid after a friend is...kinda nooo Honesty I wish parents would pick a name for the kid themselves. Not after people or story's. Give the kid they're own name. Update An inside joke...HE WAS GOING TO NAME HIS FCKING KID AFTER A FCKING INSIDE JOKE?! Whooooo- okay At least he realized his f up.

[@carolroberts4614]

Even so, the way he kept doubling down until his mum ratted him out( good on you, mum), does not bode well for them. Pregnancy is stressful enough without all this palaver! And he cried and cried and cried his way out of it. My ex was immature like this and it did not lead to a happy life for me and the children. Strict one minute, their best friend the next, so confusing!

[@firerosenight6937]

@@carolroberts4614 yeah just reading it stressed me out. There's a time and place to let loose, naming and taking care of a baby is NOT it

[@Somebody9666]

And even if you decide on a name. Its not 100% they even will use it. My parents picked out a name for me before birth. Was told that when i came out they didnt wanna name me the one they already picked because and I quote 'Didnt look like a Daniel'.

[@firerosenight6937]

@@Somebody9666 same. The vibes did not go with "Emma"

[@trevie7589]

I'm giving birth, so I'll be the one to pick the name tbh.

[@ThatOddChickenHippie]

I've been lucky enough that, while I pick up and drop hobbies, I alternate between the same three for the most part. So, while the stuff does sit around collecting dust, it's usually only for a few months before I go back to it.

[@angeleyesgreen1586]

It reeks of him still having a crush on her, and everyone else will be thinking there's an underlying issue there. It is not a good idea

[@annanas9122]

28:01 I disagree with that point. "Sometimes you have to be the "mature one" and apologize even though you were wronged". No. You shouldn't. It happens sometimes when you care about the relationship, but it's a wrong thing to do in my opinion. No compromises, no free passes, no apologizing when you did nothing wrong. 28:59 so they even went as far as to _lie_ about the situation, huh. I think, in that case, if it was me, not only would I *NOT* apologize, I would outright state it: "You, Carly, were the AH and I'm absolutely not apologizing to you". 30:51 honestly, good riddance. And that whole "never hit a woman" is crap. I _am_ a woman and still think it's crap. It really should be more "don't hit somebody unprompted and expect not to be hit in return", this rule is at least fair and true and makes sense.

[@kristinwiebold2433]

OP NTA. The situation with his first kid isn't same with his kid with you. He and the ex have an arranged that they agree with so what those other 2 women need to keep their noses out of it. Very glad in the update that you and your husband talked. That he was able to talk to both of those women's husbands and that answers came out. Glad you were able to talk to your husband's ex and all is well there. And everyone was able to talk together nicely and talk about his daughter and make decisions there too without much problems. Hope Jane gets the mental help she needs instead of hurting others and her own kids.

[@lorifiedler13]

Daughters hobby. Buy her a starter kit and if it goes well and she doesn't drop it, add more stuff. But if she sells anything. At least half should go back into materials. Or buy the $600 in materials and if she drops it within a month, she owes OP $400. She can get some of that by selling some of the unused materials.

[@D-me-dream-smp]

The friend trying to steal his “best friends” boyfriend was an AH but the OP and his fiancé sound like a gorgeous couple and have a lovely relationship. Hopefully without the toxic friend out of the way the bf can get OP to gain confidence and make new friends- sharing an interest is a great way to meet people since you automatically have things to focus and talk about.

[@formershadow]

Broken nail story pisses me off. I had older violent female cousins that I do not F with even now in my 30s. OP’s uncle is gonna have a hell of a time fighting his daughters future bfs that will retaliate against her abusive behavior. They won’t be kids though and I hope one of them knocks him out. If I was OP I’d square up with him when I came of age and size. Uncle and cousin are massive AH.

[@macylouwho1187]

He is clearly still infatuated with his crush, there’s no other reason in the world why he wants to use that name-period. That chick is fooling herself (because she desperately needs to) if she thinks any different. It’s not because of some stupid joke that isn’t even funny between him and his friends. OP is always going to be choice #2 to him because he still clearly has a flame burning inside of him for the girl who didn’t want him and friend zoned him. I could almost guarantee that his mother made up that excuse on the fly to save the relationship and soothe the future DIL, and then called her son and bawled him out royally for his stupidity and disrespect towards his partner. THAT was why he was crying, because his mom tore into him and made him feel like sh-t. And then probably told his dumbazz to stick to the script so that OP could feel better about having a baby with a man still in love with someone else-who doesn’t even want her enough to not try to name their baby after his true love! Holy hell, that is awful. Any man who would do that does NOT love his baby mama! Because if he did, he wouldn’t risk losing her or hurting her over the other chick’s “name”. Wtf??? 🤬. And it’s very telling that they’ve been together for almost a decade with no marriage in sight and she’s pregnant and STILL no marriage in sight. I guess OP has ignored all of the “he’s just not that into you” vibes he’s throwing out, ugh. She’s shortchanged herself in every way for a man who doesn’t love her enough (or at all maybe). She sounds like a placeholder and nothing more for the one that got away. I don’t know why some people fall so completely for someone so clearly out of their league like OP’s man has. Like get a clue dude. You were never going to be with her and you weren’t worthy of anything but her friendship! Be content with someone on your own level. Get over it. Not everyone can get a supermodel, for goodness sake.

[@missingbobsburgers]

Yeah that was my first thought when op said his mom had called him. She got to him first so OP couldn’t confront him and unravel mama’s lie. If it were really a joke, he would have told her long before now. It would have been something to laugh about when telling the friend group with “fooling” them into thinking they were going through with it. He would have dropped it altogether seeing how much it upset OP. So many other things and yet none of those happened until mommy was quick on her feet.

[@fleurpouvior2967]

If love of my life wanted to name our kid after their IRL crush (e.g. not buffy, Xena, etc) I would be constantly asking if they're sure they're OK calling their infant, the name they used to say while getting off. We've actually discussed it, and our children will never be Jr for that reason lol

[@dorotheawalker7985]

I was named after my birth father dead mother and I hated the name. Since I learned to understand I was always told how ugly I was when his mom Dorothy was such a beautiful women what a waste of name on me.

[@hugoumero9723]

Jesus christ that Is Very messed up Did your mom called you An ugly From have An name that she hates

[@dorotheawalker7985]

@@hugoumero9723 I was very badly abused till age 13 when I was taken away and I was adopted by a amazing family.

[@MissSimone02]

That's fucked. My sister is named after her father's dead mother, but we called her by her middle name growing up. She's chosen to use her given name now but I couldn't imagine telling a kid their name is ugly or that they are ugly in comparison to the dead family member. Your family members are assholes.

[@hugoumero9723]

@@dorotheawalker7985 jesus christ what the hell is wrong with your parents and parents like you should never have kids

[@youngloki1]

9:24 that bit be tripping like damn gurl control your emotions didn't have to break the guy like that. Falling to pieces on his mom was classic though 🤣

[@williethomas6388]

Wife dump that dude as well as your dangerous so called friend because as far as your husband goes he didn’t love you enough to trust you instead he chose to believe y’all’s sociopathic so called friend .

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

Apologizing to someone who wronged you first is not going to make people take your side in the future, WTF? If anything it makes people more likely to take the other person’s side in future disputes. After all, if you were the one to apologize than that means you must have been the one in the wrong right? At least to outsiders looking in, that’s exactly what it looks like. Screw that being the better person bull crap, it just lets assholes be bigger assholes in the future. While also setting the standard that you are expected to be a doormat in all future encounters. I come from a family where my aunt, and uncle treat everyone like dirt but, everyone else is expected to just rug sweep whenever they do something horrible to someone. Absolutely screw these types of people willing to throw others under a bus, just to get something they want.

[@DaniS398]

Look, as a woman, if I am going to hit a dude, I'm gonna brace to get one back. Being a woman doesn't give us the right to put hands on anyone with no consequences.

[@RockLikeAStone]

If a man puts his hands on a pregnant woman in a negative way for any reason, short of she’s trying to kill you, he’s going to abuse you and or your child in the future. There is no dismissing what he did to his pregnant wife. He should feel shame everyone he sees your bruises and he should have to at least look, you’re going through it!

[@princesssunshine874]

have you checked out your local craft store? Some times they have candle and soup making classes. Maybe you could pay for a few classes so she could get an idea of what it all entails. The dream of something is so nice until the anxiety of the work hits you.

[@casiopeyagbg]

Story 1. I call bullshit! His mother chewed him out and saved his relationship!

[@summersands8105]

"woman beater" story - OP, you are not a "woman beater." You were defending yourself against a girl who hit you first, not once, but TWICE. You had EVERY right to hit her back. She's lucky you punched her in the stomach and not in the face. No one has the right to hit anyone, but it does happen and, by Dog, if someone hits you first, you knock the crap out of them and then walk away. This crap of a man never hitting a woman is garbage. If a woman thinks she's big enough and bad enough to hit a man, then she should be able to deal with potentially being hit back in defense. It's the same as a teenager hitting an adult and the adult defending him-/herself. The kid believes that you can't hit him/her back because he/she is a kid and will call the police...lol News flash! You hit, you should darn well expect to be hit back. It's call self-defense. I've had friends who have left their kids get away with hitting them when they were young and into their teens. There is no way I'd put up with that! It would have been nipped in the bud at a young age with time outs and other punishments as necessary. Some of these youngsters are now teens who hit their parents. As a teen, if you put your hands on me, you bet your bippie that I WILL knock you on your a$$...no question about it. I don't believe in hitting anyone; but, if you put your hands on me, I will defend myself.

[@maryturpel8413]

Two words: Amber Heard.

[@luvondarox]

Right? If family doesn't prep for the real world with consequences and redirection, the kid's going to be in for a nasty surprise when they piss off somebody who doesn't care about their feelings.

[@cynicalminion]

52:34- my suggestion would be setting aside a specific (and equal) amount for each kid per month (or whatever block of time you deem appropriate, month just seems easiest to me). the set aside amount would accumulate if not used, so your son could have his membership covered and then have the leftover accumulate so when he needs new skates, they're paid for... and for your daughter, it would encourage sticking with something, because there'd be a specific amount available to cover her hobby, but if she were to use it to cover a huge layout for supplies, the money'd be gone if she decided she was bored and didn't want to do it anymore...

[@michaelplunkett8059]

Tantrum daughter needs a job to get a real education and have her own money to add to Dad's for hobby shopping, (wait till ceramics molds and kiln time). Remind her, she has 2 parents to indulge her, son only has 1.

[@lisachristoph437]

Second to last. The OP if she accepts her husband's apologies and takes him back she needs him to deposit enough money intoan account she alone has access to for a safe escape during his next outburst.

[@tamicablanding]

S3: The cousin is going to wind up divorced and her kids hating her if they are not like her

[@nimisilverbird1239]

Nta. He is clearly naming her after this chic. Simply bc of his reaction.

[@zachf748]

So much therapy. Lol.. (1) OP in Individual Therapy (2) Wife in Individual Therapy (3) Kid in Therapy with Child Therapist (4) OP and wife in Couples Therapy (5) Starting family therapy with OP/wife/kid together That’s *_A LOT_* of therapy…

[@wrenpeach6707]

I don't understand why you would want to give your child the name of someone you've thought about sexually. Creeps me out to think about moaning and cooing the same name.

[@nakaidakahn8283]

You cannot steal a human from a relationship, both parties would need to be willing

[@___o1799]

Story 3: So, let me get this straight: a 16 year old girl assaults a 14 year old boy over an xbox controller. The 14 year old defends himself, causing the 16 year old to scream. This 16 year old's middle aged, grown adult father rushes upstairs and proceeds to attempt to assault the 14 year old. Yeah, I'd have called the authorities & pressed charges because that is some awful shit. And then, not only does he [the grown man] defend himself, but he doubles down on the attempted assault with an outdated, sexist assertion. Bruh I can't 💀. How did natural selection miss this dude

[@judymetzger3253]

Okay what did I hear. We'll get married when we have sure we're stable. If you're not sure you're stable why in the hell are you having a kid. God bless this poor child.

[@kristinwiebold2433]

I know we cant just blame the backstabbing friend since OP's husband was the one who physically violence. But truly had that gal not lied I dont think that crap would have happened.

[@achliscantplay4202]

Story about "hopping from hobby to hobby" - this has NOTHING to do with ADHD, or anything else non-neurotypical! I am a professional educator, and this is LITERALLY what is takes to discover your true passion - try many, many different things and interests, until something sticks. A child is ABSOLUTELY allowed to drip an interest they exhausted - what would be a good idea, though, is to have a chat about it. What did they like about? What they did not? What are some adjacent things to do? Sometimes it takes a few false starts. Sometimes it takes a little perseverance. The thing is... if a child, say, wants "to be famous like Arianna Grande", or "to sing as well as Arianna Grande" - those are two completely different things! You must willing to do what Arianna DID, if you want to BE anything she IS NOW. Big difference. If there is an inspirational figure, a mold - do a joint research. See when their idol started learning their hobby, how they practiced it, and what it took to become professional (if that is something they want).

[@yeetusfetus1537]

im not going to lie, about the one story of the husband who got violent to his wife because their friend fakes evidence of the wife cheating. she shouldnt have gotten back together with him.there are some things that cant be forgivin

[@meOW0131]

To the hobby story: Daughter is 18. A full grown adult that can fund her own hobbies. Daddy can't pay for everything everytime she throws a tantrum.

[@aikikaname6508]

Story 1: hmmm, I think the ‘joke’ thing was MIL trying to cover for her son. She then pulled him aside and her and that other person she involved lectured him to get him to knock it off. He wasn’t in tears and that adament over a ‘joke’. He did it because he was in love with her and wanted some kind of reaction- maybe to get her attention, maybe to spite her by continuing her names unfortunate ‘legacy’ on another child

[@Jediahbear]

I'm a figure skater, and I can tell you that it is straight up expensive.

[@psyolytesaille]

Y'all more expensive than gymnastics x.x

[@kristinwiebold2433]

OP Harry isn't your "best friend" if he has been flirting with your bf. Harry does have control over his feelings and if harry wants a bf, he needs to look for a guy who is single not taken. Harry doesnt seem to care about you or that his actions are making your mental health worst. Dump this guy.

[@francissobotka8725]

That father is putting off creeper vibes

[@emilybarclay8831]

Which one? This video is several hours long

[@kukala3]

Even if she's insecure bc of pregnancy or age or what ever lame excuse little sis uses to belittle her, THIS IS her sister's home, house and husband. It doesn't matter what little sis thinks, believe or say. I'm sorry but BYE ITCH!

[@kristinwiebold2433]

OP NTA. I am truly glad that most(excluding the trouble makers) were all adult enough to sit down and talk with each other. Also glad that you, your hub, the ex and her hub were able to nicely sit down and talk and discuss and make agreements together. I am glad there is good communication. I hope things go well. Glad you and hub arent being friends with jane anymore. I know miscarriages are hard but I dont think that excuses her behaviour. Hope all the best for you and your family. Hope Jane's hub gets therapy

[@ReederAnonymous]

The "woman beater" story: The father is the most right, besides OP, but I feel he has something wrong. People are more likely to listen to the one who wants peace...until they learn a man hit a woman. The perception around that double standard is changing but not fast enough or in large enough numbers that a majority will see a man/boy hitting a woman/girl in self-defense. Outside of that the dad is the real mvp for sticking by and not turning on his boy like the mother did.

[@kristinwiebold2433]

I call bull on bruises heal in 1 or 2 weeks. My bruises take about month or more. I guess that commenter might be talking about a bruise with no color so that is why it heals so fast.

[@crumpetandtea]

I mean, the daughter is 18? she's old enough to get a job to invest in her own business. I was certainly buying my own "hobby" stuff by that age, not dragging my mother to michaels with me to buy all my scrapbook gear for me. despite my years of commitment, that's not like a necessity I would need her to pay for...

[@TheIronwil]

Friend Framed OP for Affair: Even with this "evidence", I'd have spoken to my wife about it and seriously considered her claim it was all fake. This is because I have so much trust in her that I'd consider fake evidence far more likely than her doing something so vile. The husband should have had more of a discussion about this before turning on her. Edit: I can't believe the husband got physical with her. Relationship over.

[@CarolineOfSweden]

1:42:00 Bio dad I'm just saying: -O my heart still, still I say.. You are the one One of the few people who really 100% understands the phrase: Parent is something you become automatically when you have a baby BUT a mommy and daddy THAT'S a name you have to work your ass of to EARN.. Because that name can you only get after 110% dedication for years and that's the hardest badge to get

[@blix_xo]

S1: Absolutely not. No amount of convincing will get me to enjoy a name that was my partner's crush. The only way is if it was done in HONOR of them but even then that is a slippery slope depending on the circumstances of them being friends but not crushes. I'd feel awfully weirded out if someone named their child after me especially if said someone crushed on me in class. That is unfair, uncool and definitely not right for the partner to push the name onto the unborn child. If he wants the name so bad? Get a pet and name it after her. It's just a name right?

[@tesscheer]

Her partner is totally disrespecting the mother of his child! DUMP HIM!!!!!

[@minelliabrissiaud2321]

00:21:36 the 14M op should of taken pictures of the scratches his 16F cousin made on his face and with the dad filed a police report. Forget about not escalating the situation as it's inevitable. Also file a restraining order against the uncle for almost beating up a kid in his blind rage despite his daughter having been the instigator. This is OP and his parents' house. The "My house my rules" definitively applies, so if the cousin doesn't like the "bad" remote then tough, she could bring her own remote next time she visits or deal with the one that's already there even if it's a "bad" remote.

[@riellekoy7196]

Story 2. She wanna throw hands like a man she can get decked like one too. 🤷‍♀️ It's fair.

[@InfectedSean]

Geeez what a husband. Invalidating their partners feeling, having 0 respect for their opinion and wishes, and standing firm in a "2 yes 1 no" situation

[@bonniewooley9501]

Her blood is thin. She need to eat some raisins that will help her out believe me my blood regulates pretty quick and I heal pretty quick.😊

[@rhondasisco-cleveland2665]

The monster cousin’s parents HAVE to know what she is like.

[@stephjovi]

I feel like the pact is an excuse. They had that joke and he was like omg I have the perfect excuse to make my kid after Susan. He was way too obsessed with it

[@LadyLoveMa]

The uncle just taught his daughter she can hit men and they are not supposed to hit her back 😭 dad failed in teaching her a valuable lesson

[@carlrood4457]

I've known so many people in their early 20's who've told me they never want kids. I don't think anyone I know every actually stuck to that, so I never really believe it. At that age it's hard to see yourself in the parenting role and don't think you'll ever change your mind. Now, when I ever hear someone under 30 say they don't want kids, I make a "right now" mental addition. I don't say anything or try to change their mind. After all a person who doesn't want children, shouldn't have children no matter their age. I've just been around to know that people change over the years and what you want at 20 isn't always the same as what you want at 30.

[@kingkiller3678]

Scarlett was the super hero name almost guarantee that . Good ending tho

[@TsunamiJuri]

My mother is a seconded wave feminist, she did all the protesting in the 60's about it, and she always taught me that "you never hit a lady, but it's perfectly fine to hit a woman back, sometimes equality bits, but you can't have it both ways. either you're a lady and as such a delict flower and men should open doors for you, and you need a gallant defender as you can't fight yourself, or you're a woman that is the equal of a man in all things and that mean you fight your own battles." my mother is a woman, tho she doesn't mind if you open the door, because you should do that for anyone regardless of gender, its just a nice thing to do.

[@Nonymous4]

This is why extreme therapy is needed when even considering abortion. It's not just a medical procedure it will wreck your mental state for years

[@carlrood4457]

My wife wanted to name our son after me. I didn't because I grew up with a brother who had the same name as our dad and always found it annoying when someone would call and ask for the name and I had to figure out which one they wanted (once my brother was old enough to get calls that sounded like adults). My name is only four letters long, so there aren't nickname options. We gave our oldest son my name as a middle name as a compromise. Of course, at the time I didn't know everyone would have personal phones and landlines would be for telemarketers

[@zachf748]

9:57 Thank you. That’s what I’m saying. That’s not a joke. Like, literally, it’s just not a joke. So that’s a lie. And there’s no way that’s the truth.

[@damien678]

44:15 to be fair, some of us are just exceptionally oblivious and/or have self-esteem issues and genuinely cannot tell if someone is flirting. I'm autistic and ADHD so I really doubt myself and can't end up seeing if someone likes me unless they explicitly tell me

[@kristinwiebold2433]

OP NTA. What a horrible human that supposed " friend" is. I would sue her for the medical Bill's and emotional distress. But also hubby isnt any better for physically violence especially when he knew OP was pregnant..

[@kristinwiebold2433]

You still have bruises from his hands after 2 months?? OP you need to go to the doctor and have them look at it to see why it is taking so long to heal. I can understand a month cuz I bruise easily, but 2 months sound wrong and with you being pregnant it should be looked at

[@ErisstheGoddessofmanhwas]

Child free people should remain child free . For some time, maybe they will think otherwise, but in the end, their true feelings will impact the children they didn't want to have .

[@AshenTechDotCom]

im a weird one, therapy never has really helped me or left me drained, but then... i have had multi therapists after getting to know me... tell me my reactions and cognition of my situation/the situation/etc tend to be pretty healthy and logical, my mild autism leads to alot more of me thinking "why is this person acting/talking this way" rather then jumping to hurt of offense... thats also learned.. i started to learn to "why are these people giving me shit/trying to upset me/etc?" and then act rather then reacting on emotion or instinct.. i have had 2 therapists i was seeing... actually admit to me.. they had started seeing me for free, because.. talking with me, had been helping them.. one even said.. he realized i was quite intuitive when it came to that stuff, and how i just tend to ask questions that help people lead themselves to the right answer for themselves/others/etc... (whats important to them overall) that guy ended up paying me with lunch a few times a week and told me, he was doing better just from conversing with me then years of therapy... then the dude introduced me to his daughter... who both had some issues and became one of my better friends... she married somebody from our friend group from HS.... her step dad tried to fight her husband because he was "too old for her"... she went after him... like... she put years of effort into convincing her target he was going to date her... (when his friends and family all just started asking if he had asked her out yet...yeah... he finely got the fucking hint... LOL... (and, no, she dosnt have daddy issues, shes just got a type.. shes also attracted to a few younger and older tv/movie actors... any guy with good facial hair and whos bigger then her, dosnt have to be much taller... she just likes guys with a larger build/frame.. not a "chubby chaser" just, not into thin/skinny "girly men" as she calls them... heh... ) anyway... not joking, therapy has done no real good for me, outside keeping me out of jail honestly... not much at all... wasnt the therapists... i just... already knew the problems also already was going over possible solutions quite alot/constantly... not stuck on stupid... often genuinely "no win situations" with no way out that wouldnt lead to greater problems down the line... "shit... if i was you i would be depressed as well, situational depressions a bitch, more so when you cannot effectively change the situation causing it in the short term nore escape.

[@Bila2718]

@ 1 hr 08 mns, I was totally impressed, I took note.

[@Joirish-rm7jk]

Oh thank God he didn't need to apologize. That part was really pissing me off.

[@amberleeannalee1999]

If op leaves his wife the mom will abuse their daughter. She will say “you ruined our marriage our life” or even “your dad wanted to kill you but I didn’t “ so she can ensure the daughter has no love or support. I know moms like this. They are frakn evil. They will wait till op remarried then tell the daughter “daddy replaced you with his new family because he hates you too” op needs to document her awful verbal abuse and manipulation and take full custody of daughter

[@ChinchillaQueen]

Names are important, people. Very important.

[@oshbaaya]

1st story.. that guys mom Was thinking fast when she came up with that excuse

[@Orinatl]

How does he think that he can just ‘choose’ by himself.

[@meepmeep749]

Have her start with a few products and promise her if she sticks with it you will invest more into it. She should be able to start out simple with a few things. Giving it to her all at once would probably just egg it on

[@KatieC1020]

Story 1. My older daughter is named after my ex husband's 6th grade crush. He loved the name since then. It never bothered me, but they were much younger. The name is Ava so a beautiful classic name anyway.