My Boyfriend Hates So Many Things I Do Leading To Long Fights Then Makes Me Beg Forgiveness r/AITA

[@wafflestoast4546]

If the dad stays with the step mom, op better prepare to cut ties with dad. He is not someone you should.look up to. Also, give the video to the police, the dad is no longer fit to raise op.

[@ceciasa3376]

I agree. It's so upsetting that the dad thinks he's doing the right thing, when in reality, he's just causing OP more harm then good. He cares more about the SM then he does about OP and I hope OP sees reason and cuts ties with him if the dad continues down this route.

[@MoostachedSaiyanPrince]

The dad already deserves to be cut off. He learned that his wife has been emotionally abusive towards his child for years and his first move isn't to file for divorce? That man doesn't deserve a child, and even if OP was the kind of person the SM was trying to paint them as, they still would deserve a better father than that.

[@jaymel4691]

Honestly, how can Dad still love that witch even after he finds out how she's been torturing his son? Bless that coach for being a better parent to OP than his own father. I feel like he's going to see more of her true evil nature now that she's gotten OP out of her way. And if he does, I won't feel sorry for him. He chose her over his kid, he can deal with the consequences.

[@jennix8666]

@@jaymel4691 I know it's awful and OP'S dad is a piece of crap person and parent for staying with SM, but unfortunately if happens more then you think. I personally know a woman that married her high school sweetheart and they had 2 kids and then divorced a few years later. She met a new guy and they married, he started abusing and beating the crap out of her kids and they were taken away and sent to live full time with their dad. She was given the choice of staying with his abusive ass or her kids and she chose the abuser. As far as I know she hasn't seen them since she chose their abuser over them and this has been at least 10 years, they were young kids at the time and they'd be teens now. 🥺

[@leopardbutterfly1914]

They played RIGHT into stepmoms plans! Absolutely sickening

[@tedybomber1713]

The worse part to me of story 2 is that the dad, at the end of the day, gave the abusive stepmom what she wanted, OP out of the house. Cowardly fool.

[@cheche373]

That's okay. We'll see how she treats dad when he isn't bringing the money in anymore or gets sick...

[@akl2k7]

@@cheche373 And now that her punching bag is gone...

[@marcusgray2799]

When he on his death bed no one will have pity for the dad

[@C.L.Hinton]

Story 2: that poor kid and his coach need to sue that deadbeat dad for a hefty child support. What an enabling POS.

[@andrewi.crocker8675]

And also sue the wife for emotional damage. OP has some serious mental issues, and they are all because of that witch

[@SakuraMoonflower]

Agreed

[@shaetoons3602]

Story 1: 3 minutes in and I haven’t even listened to the whole story yet and there’s already red flags, gaslighting, love bombing and narcissism. I hope Op dumps his ass.

[@xelectrix]

Reading the title was enough for me. Ugh my stomach is churning.

[@pansprayers]

It's like the dude picked up a book on how to apply cohersive control to a partner, and just memorized the damn thing.

[@S_K23]

Yeah within the first 3 minutes my brain was already screaming that this guy is just plain abusive. The long fights and then being so caring and affectionate in between is how abusers keep their victims with them for so long. I've seen it in my own family.

[@jettanyx1]

Not only abusive behavior this guy seems genuinely mentally unstable!

[@DrownedInExile]

@@xelectrix I was happy to skip ahead to the update! I'm so glad OP got free of that abusive psycho. I hope she nails him to the wall in court.

[@KJ-sp9jq]

S1: Took about a minute to decide OP needed to run for the hills. The amount of mental abuse that her boyfriend was throwing at her was ridiculous. Glad OP finally got away in the end. Sad that it had to get physical for her to see how toxic her really was. S2: The dad in this story is just as bad as the SM. I feel sorry for OP and I hope the coach helps them to get the help they need and eventually OP cuts ties with both of them. As a parent myself I could never imagine abandoning my kid for someone that was abusing them.

[@BloodShed4REAL]

While it would fall under metal abuse, it sounds a lot more like psychological conditioning to make her obedient and dependent (just not done efficiently enough to not be noticed).

[@mandylloyd]

Story 1) Agree, what an awful guy.....tbh his love bombing was so cringe it made me sick a Lil in my mouth lol. I would of been out at the excessively clingy behaviour, singing to me & hair brushing would have really triggered me into going home, so I could get personal space. This guys dating style is emotionally abusive 16 year old.

[@lynnw7155]

Ick. Talk about smothering. Sure, he's great as long as OP does ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING HE WANTS. Even his love bombing sounds smothering. He sounds like a 2-year-old that fusses if mommy isn't right there. Creepy. And OP has to wonder if it's her???

[@zachf748]

That father is just as despicable as the step-mom. Hear that recording and stay with the step-mom? Sickening.

[@samalvarez8776]

Yeah how can you listen to something like that and NOT kick out that woman?

[@Jessidafennecfox]

@@samalvarez8776 must be good sex with Stepmother

[@sablemoreno5095]

Yeah, at the very least not for your kid, then for the crap said about YOUR DEAD WIFE. I mean, man must not have even cared about his first wife in the slightest to dismiss what she said about her. (Not hard to see that extend to the OP since he's her son)

[@gabiegbeauty8605]

@@sablemoreno5095 yesssssss omg I can’t even believe … this is crazy …

[@pikachu7572]

He's worse because that's his child, his blood, his responsibility, his motherless baby, just so gutted for him

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - Who the hell stays with their partner who is abusing their child? Parents shouldn’t have ever been parents if they are willing put their own romantic life over their children’s safety and health.

[@shrubman3422]

Seriously what the freak is wrong with that guy. He sees his child is in danger and he goes with the stepmonster. Truly pathetic. Cut ties with that useless piece of garbage. Even worse he calls for a welfare check and wants them committed so he could say. Oh my child is crazy. Pay them no mind, they don't know what they are talking about. He is not a father.

[@pippo17173]

@@shrubman3422 Honestly the dad became a massive cuck and look, op could of said shit early in the marrige but unfortionly we know its gonna lead to dad shoving it off. Honestly she can have him as its apparent he lost his spine after his wife's death.

[@smalllightbulb3492]

What kind of crap person stays with a woman who abused his child onto the point he starts to self harm? If this was me I probably would be in trouble with the law because NOBODY touches (mentally or physically) my children. I don't care who they are.

[@zeroflight6867]

Sadly, the kind who either in denial, has been manipulated masterfully, and/or is generally a bad person.

[@ynmonroe]

Very much this ⬆ . I can't with this dad. How TF did he even agree to let a suicidal child go live with someone else?

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

Story 2: Shame on that man. How dare he even call himself a father after finding out the truth, and choosing an abuser over his own child. I hope he read the comments calling him out after the last update. At this point he’s worse than his wife.

[@lorifiedler13]

He heard his own wife's words and still stayed with her and kicked his kid out "for the time being". Bullshit.

[@ReederAnonymous]

Story 2: considering the help OP is receiving, I'd urge them to look into child emancipation. Their dad is trash and may still force a decision about OP's life while they're still a minor. Emancipation is hard and may not even go through but it could be a chance to be free of the dad's control as untrustworthy as he is.

[@winnkey]

From talk of rugby and maccas. Its obviously happening in Australia. If he's driving this means he is 17, so it is probably just worth waiting till there 18.

[@WobblesandBean]

Woo, 100th upvote! And I agree, OP needs to file for emancipation.

[@MoostachedSaiyanPrince]

Yeah, even setting aside that the OP's dad was negligent enough not to notice the emotional abuse for so long (what was it, a decade?), the fact that OP's dad didn't turn around and divorce that evil witch he calls a wife the instant he learned of how she treated OP makes him a terrible dad.

[@cgi2002]

@@winnkey I would have said UK as rugby and maccas are the same here, except for how the police handled the welfare check by immediatly cuffing them which is a major violation of policy. Using restraints on a minor who isn't an active threat to themselves or others is a major no no.

[@de9722]

Story 2: I absolutely hate that they took this innocent, kind kid, and...tried their best to absolutely destroy his sunshine. He sounds like such a kind soul, and to be going through that for so long, for that to be taken advantage of..I hope he doesn't let them win. It sounds like he's already traumatized with women, imagine trying to figure out how to be in a relationship with one will be when the time comes. It sounds like he's already getting help, and I have hope he will grow into an even more amazing person.

[@pikachu7572]

She broke his spirit and the dad severed completely by never once being even a little bit interested in his well-being. Imagine not going out to look for the child you think is about to end everything. Just so revolting and heartbreaking

[@user-lr7dk7mt2w]

The first op should run far away I'm not even done with the story yet but he doesn't just wave red flags he himself is a red flag that should send women running in terror at the sight of him I'm so glad op saw reason and left him I hope she stays safe The second story my heart breaks for that poor kid if any child reading this ever has someone mistreating you tell a trusted adult or parent right away it's never your fault and you didn't cause your abuse anything less then throwing the abuser out of the house is unnectible and I hope this kid realizes one day his own worth and never contacts his dad again I wish just one of these stories ended with the parent choosing the child instead of the abuser The dad is trash but thankfully the coach and his wife were good people

[@Nope148]

Holy run on sentences

[@WobblesandBean]

Age gap relationships are almost always toxic and often abusive. OP needs to RUN.

[@blondie7740]

Can we just give a shout-out to the coach for coming to op's aid, and doing what op's Dad is supposed to be doing? The home situation sounds like it won't be resolved any time soon, and grateful op has a safe place to go.

[@WobblesandBean]

Right? I'm still worried for OP, though. He's going to see his dad, and he just shouldn't. He needs to cut that wretched man out of his life completely.

[@tegantalks9612]

I’m a swimming coach and I hope that the kids I coach would trust me enough to help them in a situation like this.

[@blondie7740]

@@WobblesandBean It’s not really that simple though. OP is still a teenager, and still loves their Dad very much. Teenagers are very vulnerable anyway, not matter what happens, OP is going to be hurt. But forcing a separation for their father, before they are ready, will only cause more damage.

[@paulineisme]

That coach is more of a father to OP than that useless sperm donor. "Oh BuT i StIlL lOvE hEr, CaN't YoU jUsT fIgUrE iT oUt?" He was willing to kick out his kid for SUSPECTING that the SM was being mistreated, and then got proof that his wife was actually abusing his kid and what does he do? Kick his kid out to go live with a stranger.

[@hi_stranger9156]

The coach is more like a "father" rather than OP biological dad.

[@Pippa87]

If OP sent his dad a link to that reddit post I hope dad goes back to it and sees all the people evaluating him as the POS parent he is and takes a moment to think about himself. Absolutely sickening.

[@Gumbier_Than]

I will get me a reddit account right freaking now. 🤬😤

[@Mermain123]

this man isn't just a red flag he's a freaking stop sign

[@akl2k7]

He's a communist parade.

[@lorifiedler13]

A jumbo-tron with all the lights in Vegas and Broadway red and pointing to the jumbotron.

[@AngharadMac]

Story 2: Not choosing a side let's the abusers win. That dad is still with step mom? What an ass! Write dad off he doesn't care about his child.

[@low-keydrama1260]

at that point he doesn't deserve to be called a "dad"

[@katphish30]

Story 1: Along with the really, really obvious red flags, there’s one which is often overlooked. Don’t get involved with someone who dislikes and complains about your pets. “You love that animal more than you love me” should ALWAYS be a signal to leave. At best, they’re going to relocate your pet behind your back. I hope I don’t have to tell you the worst. This goes so much more for kids, which should be obvious but apparently isn’t to too many people.

[@TheNormExperience]

This. It’s hard to put into words every single scary sentence from this story, because the boyfriend’s control and manipulation is so insidious, but the animal one is at least very straightforward. People don’t have a finite amount of love; loving your dog does NOT take away from loving your partner, and if your partner feels it does, it’s their issue, not yours! At the end of the day, this man will never be happy, and he will always find a way to make that OP’s fault/problem to deal with, when it has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with him being unhappy with himself. You cannot *love* someone into loving themselves.

[@mynights85]

My hubby always joked that he loved his cat more than me. I know he was serious and thats ok. It took 3 years of heavily medicating myself for allergies to get used to the kitty, but i did it because i loved the man and to be honest i loved the cat to. You dont go after someone elses pets. Youbjust dont.

[@LittleSparklingStars]

He has an attachment disorder.

[@katiecakesl4691]

Story 1. Not even done the story and there is vibes of grooming, love bombing, abuse, isolation, gaslighting. Seriously OP, run. Run now. This man is going to escalate. He already is. Get out now.

[@Callimo]

Absolutely! But it pains me that OP is nearly 30 and didn't see the parade of red flags from the outset. No one told OP about love bombing?

[@frozenheart7133]

@@Callimo that’s what I said. The fact she made it to 30yrs old without having a situation like this makes me happy for her. But also, her friends need to do better. I feel so bad she didn’t recognize this from moment one.

[@90charmedndangerous]

Yeah and he definitely didn't go with her to the other city/country for her sake to be supportive, he went so he wouldn't loose control over her.

[@mandyrobbins1]

There's an old movie from the 90's, Sleeping with the Enemy, (Julia Roberts), that shows exactly what this guy will progress to next. This girl needs to run like the hounds of hell are chasing her...

[@owl7072]

Story 2: If someone says something hurts, it doesn't matter if _you_ view it as "just teasing", it hurts them and that's what you should be focusing on. Edit: This guy was so quick to just believe that his kid was an alcoholic druggie who "abuses" his "poor, defenseless" wife despite having _no_ proof or indication that it was true. I can't believe he's so pathetic that he'd be willing to throw out his own child just based on accusations with no solid evidence or even stopping to ask said kid about it or look into it further. He was so ready to drop them without second thought. His late wife would be _extremely_ disappointed in him. I wouldn't be surprised if she came back from the dead just to beat his ass.

[@lorifiedler13]

That would be sweet.

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 Oh fuck. Days long arguments? Wtf? Also he is so whiny and controlling. He aint worth it

[@nyxx5357]

Story 2: "I know if I don't do anything it'll get worse and be my fault." Oh honey, no. This is not, nor was it ever, your fault. YOU ARE NEVER AT FAULT FOR BEING ABUSED. It doesn't matter what you have or haven't done, you do not deserve to be abused. It is 100% the fault of your abuser that they feel the need to abuse you for whatever reason. It is their fault they have no self control, it is their fault that they have not sought treatment, and it is their fault that they are taking their problems out on you. Please, to anyone who is thinking like OP, please stop and remind yourself of what I said above. You are worthy of respect.

[@25Erix]

Story 1: dude is a massive red flag and I'm exhausted from this story. I'm not even through the whole thing yet.

[@deanroyea4430]

Story 1 reminds me of a girl who I have a restraining order against she threatened people with knives and hiding keys when people treid to leave

[@emilyshannon5284]

I’m so sorry you had to go threw that I was loved bombed on before I can’t stand it like give me room to breathe

[@SeraphsGenisis]

Story 2 broke my heart... it really did. I'm really glad that kid has a support system. I hope his quality of life improves.

[@lunabelle01]

Damn story 2. I've seen it too many times as a high school teacher. I honestly wish I could take in all my students that go through this shit. It happens too damn much. I'm glad OP's coach is helping him, but I wish his father wasn't a POS.

[@DocKrazy]

Damn. The second story nearly made me cry. That kid deserves so much better eta: it kinda sounds like step-monster has been manipulating both op and his dad for years. She sounds like an absoultely horrid excuse of a human being. I am very disgusted by her. This isn't to say the deadbeat of a father is excused of anything. He is a grown ass adult and should know better.

[@debl3063]

You know SM bragged to her friends how she got rid of OP way sooner that she thought she would.

[@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813]

Story 2: OP's dad is worse than the step mom, full stop. He chose an abuser over his kid without even hearing both sides, and then even after hearing how horrible she was chose to stay with her. What a POS.

[@kirstyferguson6645]

The first story. I'm glad she got out. As soon as it started my brain was just screaming "GET OUT." Took my straight back to one of my ex's. By the end, he didn't hear me say hello when he walked through the door and it escalated to him trying to hit me with his car, twice. So so glad she is doing better and is away from him.

[@Fingerscrossedout]

Did we date the same guy?! Cause same!

[@kirstyferguson6645]

@@Fingerscrossedout sounds like it. I'm glad you are safe.

[@LisaApril]

That last story absolutely crushed me. I wish nothing but sorrow on the stepmother and father. I hope op heals, finds the strength and confidence to carry himself successfully into his future, and to leave his “parents” behind and never look back.

[@HackiePuffs]

That coach is a freaking hero who knows how much more OP would have deteriorated if OP stayed in that house. That coach deserves all the best in the world. And I’m sorry but I don’t have any more sympathy for the dad. Even if he was being fed lies he just believes a woman he’s been dating for a few years over his own child?? And when he’s shown the truth he stays with her and doesn’t kick her to the curb immediately?! He doesn’t even say “I’m sorry”?!?!?!?! Stay with the coach OP he’s being a better dad than your bio dad is.

[@heatherdickau5335]

1st story- the man is exhausting. Run op run.

[@heat9225]

Story 2: the dad had been so checked out that he didn't even know about the self harm, I bet that guy didn't just do it for nothing, there would have been an million other signs that weren't just stepmum abuse. This that story hit hard, just the language reminds myself of 17 year old me and my dysfunctional family sigh

[@taylorslade961]

The SO in story 1 sounds like my abusive ex-husband. OP needs to cut and run, this guy is not going to get any better

[@dontevercalmdowntsegai]

THIS. So much. You cannot fix someone who is already showing red flags by staying with them hoping that love will cure them. I was one of those silly women who thought that. It started out verbal, then turned physical only one year into the relationship. I'd run out of fingers and toes counting all the red flags my ex-husband exhibited. I just so busy thinking I could fix the problem. I know so much better now!

[@EllieC130]

Glad everyone agrees that poor story 2 OP is in for a rude awakening when he realises what a neglectful pos his dad really is. Makes me scared what would happen if my mum ever started dating again because I'd hope she'd drop kick a guy to the kerb if he treated me or my sister like this, and we're fully grown adults.

[@HackiePuffs]

I’m so thankful that my mom found someone who’s great after she and my dad divorced. He’s awesome to her me and the rest of the family and I they’ve been together for years so I think he’s staying

[@EllieC130]

@@HackiePuffs super glad for you!

[@msredux]

I feel so bad for op, the father failed so much, how can you stay with a person that abused your kid?

[@babybookworm003]

Story 1 sounds like op is being groomed into an abusive relationship

[@pansprayers]

Yup, starting with the love bombing, and charging straight through all the steps of cohersive control. This guy's a catch :/

[@imweakfordeaky]

It’s already abusive - mentally and emotionally. It *will* rapidly get physical if he’s already throwing her bag across the room - throwing *her* around the room is just one small step away. She needs to run like a hellhound is barking and slavering at her heels… because it is !

[@videofan1010]

He's trying to guilt her and wear her down.

[@robertx8020]

This guy creeps me out ..what a piece of shit! RUN ! RUN ! Or he is just an entitled selfish idiot!

[@spheres0082]

Holy hell, I'm so glad OP got out. The fact that the ex had a complaint for almost every. Single. Thing that she did threw up a glaring red neon sign, and the violence only tops it off.

[@kc.p2003]

Now I don't have anger issues but that bf is so annoying i would have snapped and left 😭

[@fiyahquacker2835]

I definitely had some issues there but overtime they've gone down and now they're at a point where I can usually keep it under control and to "unleash the beast" I need to choose to do so.

[@RJH_LIL]

So - dad chose the evil va jay jay over his own son??? May he and SM rot in hell 🔥 🔥 🔥 may OP get the healing and true love in his future that he deserves.

[@Jessidafennecfox]

Sounds like the sex better than his child which is horrible.

[@fiyahquacker2835]

Honestly I've just used × in place of a single letter and I never get that pop up of "are you sure you want to post this" and I've never seen the comment removed by yt.

[@champslim]

Wait.... the dad didn't kick that woman out as soon as he watched the video???!!!

[@SmileyFace123Lolz]

Lmfao, I am relishing the feeling of knowing OPs dad in the second story is possibly reading the comments of people shitting on him.

[@LilySaintSin]

I hope the Reddit comments keep him up at night. He deserves no peace.

[@SmileyFace123Lolz]

@@LilySaintSin yep😌

[@TheCreativeCommoner]

Holy crap, that last story is sad. His dad is complete trash and validates SM's actions and all the trauma she has caused

[@maxinemyers9215]

That poor boy, so sorry💙🙏

[@ladyv5655]

OP's dad deserves the stepmother, if he can hear what she was saying to his child and still stay with her.

[@kristinewatson3702]

Love bombing... not a honeymoon phase. When there's a big switch to controlling behavior just RUN. Yikes.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 1: Her boyfriend is too needy and emotionally abusive. She needs to drop him like a hot potato and get a restraining order. He is definitely going to be a dangerous problem when they break up. He needs to stop trying to control her. She needs to realize her feelings matter too, much more than her boyfriend's. She should definitely not stay friends with him. Clean break. Disappear fast. Don't let him know where you live.

[@Lexin7]

It's always the worst when they limit how close you can be with your own DOG

[@huh4963]

He isn’t “being to much” he’s being abusive

[@RadmanGarrett]

One of the biggest red flags is a partner not tolerating and trying to get between you and your pet. Instant nope!

[@pamlew338]

Story 2. The father called the police so he can say "it's all the child nothing to see here"

[@itbesid1566]

Story 1 makes me simultaneously 1. grateful for being taught so well about abuse tactics that I can recognize them immediately here 2. sad for all the people who aren’t taught about them and actually believe this is acceptable or simply “strange” behavior from a partner

[@YuToobVideos]

Story 2: I'm ashamed of myself, but I want to fight the dad!😠

[@fiyahquacker2835]

Fighting a good fight ain't anything to be ashamed of.

[@angeldark404]

That first story is full of love bombing and gaslighting.

[@Vivi_LaRue]

Story 1: I was in an abusive relationship. The best gift that man ever gave me was my current mindset of “red flags are real breakers”.

[@middi6]

Yeh this is clear cut escalating and a precursor to physical abuse he is just waiting till he thinks he has you trapped via a ring or a baby.

[@jenniferrichards2122]

I believe it needs to be made common that the end of a relationship is not a personal failure. Plus, it is very good to write down all the things in the relationship and read it back to yourself. View it from an outside perspective as if you are giving someone else advice.

[@renaeodonnell4558]

And story 2. His wife is pretty much driving his child to self harm and he stays with her? What the actual shit is wrong with him?

[@reallyisay]

Stepmonster needs to taken down, OP is in danger, she feeds off his weakness.

[@kmaguire7161]

I just feel bad for people who are do desperate to be loved or afraid to be alone that they will put up with people being awful to them.

[@ringluvr]

Story 2 is so sad. My heart breaks for OP.

[@BlueSkyBS]

Story 1: Love bombing, abuse, love bombing, abuse, love bombing, abuse. Run, don't walk. Run quickly and run far, OP. Update: Yep, ended exactly as (I think) we all expected. I hope OP rips him a new one in court and he spends the next few years with a man named Bubba (who thinks he has a purdy mouth) as his roommate. Story 2: That OP's father didn't trebuchet stepmom right out of his life the moment he realized what was going on and, instead, is trying to "work things out", says volumes about him.

[@Cassandra765]

Story 2 has me seething. What kind of person chooses an abuser over their child?! And you just know that years from now, when OP has moved on and has a life his own, dad is going to pop up out of the blue wanting to play happy family. They usually do. Shout out to the coach for being there for OP when his father failed to the do the same. I really hope things get better for this kid.

[@dalejohns8343]

1st story, op is being groomed to accept anything he does to her. As soon as the ring goes on he will start abusing physically. Run opà

[@lynsthoughts3576]

He did NOT travel for SUPPORT with OP, but to control her movements. 7 hr flight abd he is mad you passed out?? HE IS DERANGED, RUN

[@dune3001]

Oh wow, Markee did say it was an uncomfortable story...but my god, I was not ready

[@owl7072]

Story 1: Listen I'm just waiting for this dude to say "You are not leaving this tower! Ever!" one day as he throws Op's shit across the room cause she tried to leave to go check the mail Edit: "You didn't cuddle me!" And you couldn't initiate the cuddling yourself.... why exactly? Edit 2: He insulted the dog. Throw the whole boyfriend away.

[@WobblesandBean]

Story 1: Of course it's an age gap relationship. Honey, _RUN._

[@ComaLies225]

Man I’d be hella petty and post that video of stepmom for the whole world to see.

[@GIChiyo]

How can he still love that cow after everything she did to OP, HIS SON?! ffs the manipulative shrew got exactly what she wanted

[@susanreynolds8464]

Story one, hunny run, he's controlling as hell, this relationship can turn out really badly

[@HodajuciParadoks]

2. This is why I say - My future child will never have a stepfather. Too much risk, I can risk my own life when I have no one to take care of, but I will never risk mental and physical state of my child, my job is to parent and protect. The moment you have a child, you can not be selfish anymore.

[@Vallyrah]

Story 2: OP your dad will not believe you without proof. Get recordings. Get someone he loves and respects to read this and listen to the recordings. Then ask that adult to go with you to talk to your dad without step-mom. NEVER be mean to step-mom EVER. You will be playing into her hands.

[@joycec8]

Me 5 minutes into this video: Oh hell naw, get out, OP!

[@flawfuljinx]

Story 2. His father is delusional. His rose-tinted glasses and being blinded by love leading him to pushing away his abused kid? Not gonna fly when op grows up and learns that the dad should've cut out the step-mom right then and there. Being shattered and worried that your kid's gonna get hurt more doesn't excuse that op was ALREADY hurt. The dad picked a side the moment he chose to stay with the step-mom instead of making things right with his literal child.

[@L0wSkiller]

I think the coach is chopping onions in the last post 😢 such a sweet person that deserves the world

[@mothertrucker936]

S1: OMG i was writing how I was terrified for op when I heard UPDATE. Thank Goodness op listened and acted accordingly. When your friends and family make derogatory comments about your new partner, LISTEN. These people love you and know when something is off

[@ae31860]

The first OP: cut this guy loose. Please. He sounds at best controlling and likely abusive.

[@Swirllies]

it'll never cease to shock me the amount of these posts of just pure abuse on reddit and the OP is still wondering if they're in the wrong. Just goes to prove how normalized this kind of abuse is in relationships.

[@loishowardrodgers8137]

There are so many RED FLAGS leave him there and go home without him.

[@jaymel4691]

I really hate how many parents choose a romantic partner at the expense of their own children. It makes me sick. A good step parent will love and care about their partner's kids like their own. And they will love that their partner is such a good parent.

[@cnow82]

This guy had all the signs of an abuser. Love bombing, moving very fast, isolating, jealous, cutting down self esteem. Switching back to nice when he feels his grip loosening. I am so glad she got away.

[@deifieddata4462]

At first I thought op1's bf just wanted to force a breakup, but the more the story goes on I think he's just a psychopath

[@susanfalconedaquino3623]

Story 1: Oh God, he's a control freak. Glad you dumped him.

[@kathydurow6814]

Story 1: the romantic stuff, being on a pedestal etc is called "love bombing" and is the first sign you're in a relationship with a narcissist or someone who wants to exercise abusive control. Next comes the jealousy, needing to know where you are & who you're with, being critical of everything you do, basically everything the OP listed and then some. Unfortunately it's not surprising things got violent. The most dangerous time for people in OP's situation is at the time you leave or just afterwards. 2. The SM coerced OP to hide what she was doing for so long. I have a small amount of grace for OP's dad as I suspect he had little idea, perhaps thought he was being a typical teen until SM said OP was doing drugs & being abusive. From the tone of the update, it's been a week or two since OP was taken to hospital and he's only seen his dad once. Everyone I've read is saying OP was kicked out, but if you read carefully OP chose not to return because of SM. I suspect Dad has been blindsided, his world upturned. I'm hoping for OP's future that dad is getting his ducks in a row to split from SM in the short time OP's been away. OP probably doesn't know what's happening between dad & SM so we're missing a vital part of the story before we judge. He'd be the AH if he totally abandons OP for SM, but right now we don't know what's happened at home except that OP isn't back there yet. And dad may have received advice that it's best for OP to have a breather with another safe adult. Hope dad does the right things in the future and doesn't let SM persuade him otherwise.

[@elizabethvalenzuela4425]

She needs to get away from this abusive narcissist! Run!

[@maxsupernova]

Story 1: This guy checks off so many items on the narcissism checklist. Run.

[@jettanyx1]

I’ve never heard of someone being handcuffed for a welfare check. Typically it’s “you ok?” Yes. “Have a nice night”

[@crystalmorgan8039]

It wasn't a wellness check. Dad heard the recording and essentially had OP committed, and is still with step mom.

[@jettanyx1]

@@crystalmorgan8039 that’s kinda what I was getting at. It’s hard to commit someone too, but he said welfare check and that’s not how those work.

[@visi9856]

Story 2: What a POS dad. Doesn't deserve a son as amazing as that! Hope OP leaves that AH Dad and gets on with his life.

[@tonisalmons9647]

This relationship is suffocating me from afar. Run lady, run!!

[@photoflo78]

First story 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Edit: 🚩🚩 UNDERSTATEMENT, run, do not walk to the nearest exit

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

S1: his controlling and clingy behavior is irking tf out of me. He is just a walking red flag.

[@IamWomanHearMeRoar]

EP1 - you need to run as fast as you can away from that man. He’s a nightmare and nothing you do will appease his insecurities. Run!!!

[@traceycoles1693]

Story 1... classic abuser... he was slightly older, in a position of power, being her boss when they first met. Then the love bombing, over the top being wonderful. Then, when they were want he considered tied enough together, the abuse started! 2nd story. I feel little but disgust for the Dad, who heard about his sons abuse at the hands of his wife and "let him" go and stay elsewhere to solve the problem. I hope the boys dead mum haunts the dad.

[@LunaArtGallery]

Our society don't portray abusive men accurately, they aren't always dirty bums in wife-beaters who lack any charm. They can be so charming, loving, sneaky and deliberate with the way they'll turn everything against you. It's a slow process as they isolate you from everyone, turn up the heat until they end up breaking or killing you. Women are condition to see this behavior as "romantic" the stalking, the endless messages, and not taking no as an answer. It's not romantic, he will put you in a body bag if you ever decide to leave. Regardless of gender, screaming and breaking stuff is always a sign to run.

[@ravenfox926]

S2: record every rotten thing she says when he's not there, then play it for him.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

My goodness, this post went from bad to worse to terrible. From title to end it’s all down hill.

[@nadirimyers6643]

A parent that chooses getting some over their kids will never be a good person in my eyes. Op shouldn’t have to ask him to choose. Shouldn’t even be a question

[@kathybeckford3592]

That first story is classic controlling/abusive behavior. There's a cycle the behavior follows (see power & control wheel, cycle of violence or cycle of violence vs. healthy relationship). Many times it's difficult to see because each person lives in one of two realities. OP, because she was living in the reality of mutually supportive relationships, tried to apply those aspects. However, SO lived in the reality that OP was supposed to behave the way he wanted her to and should know that without him telling her. Often times, people on the outside don't understand why this behavior isn't obvious to the victim. Controllers are good at wearing victims down and getting them to second guess themselves. Fortunately, OP's gut told her something was wrong, she got confirmation and was able to leave safely!! I'm a survivor of a controlling/ abusive behavior. I say survivor because so many people, not just women, aren't so fortunate to get away safely. I try to raise awareness wherever I can to help people. ***Always remember that the most dangerous time is trying to leave an abuser! Make sure to have a safety plan before you do.*** (2L&L)

[@jemase7931]

Story1. How can anyone actually write this out without realizing that her bf is a nutcase?

[@samanthacarpenter3336]

Story 1: Geez, that guy is waaaaay too clingy, and codependent on his romantic partner. It turns into an abusive case, it happens slowly, and becomes far more controlling over time. I personally can’t cuddle while trying to sleep, makes me feel uncomfortable, and claustrophobic. And this guy is turning a lack of nighttime cuddling into an argument? I’m glad op got out of that abuse, good for her.

[@lynsthoughts3576]

I cannot believe OP didn't record the conversation she heard outside the window. She should have went and asked if they needed anything before cleaning the kitchen, and then run back and record some more

[@Amna613]

Story 2: Crap dad would still choose his abusive wife over daughter. I feel bad for OP and hope she recovers from her ordeal.