Sister Won't Talk To Me After REFUSING To Attend The Family Vacation r/Relationships

[@darkmask5933]

Story 1: Apparently it gets worse. There was an update that has since either been hidden or deleted where OP finds out in addition to parents paying for the vacation, BIL was giving money to the sister to give to OP to pay him for being a babysitter last time (not that he should still be forced to babysit if he doesnt want to). OP never got any of that money, sister pocketed it.

[@CanyonALynn]

Sounds like the sister is going to be in a "co-parenting" "status: single" reeeeeeaaal soon.

[@audreym3908]

Oh no she didn't /s .I mean, knowing how she reacted to the comments and then fighting with her parents, of course she did.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

😯😯😯 Wow! And what the heck did BIL do when that was ousted? Just buried his head because "not dealing with this drama". Good grief.

[@CanyonALynn]

@kerribottriell-baxter7345 Probably. He's getting a side-eye from me, too. But since this sounds like a recent update, I'm curious about what the BIL is going to do with that info. 🍿

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

@@CanyonALynn I'd be curious, too

[@MisterNightfish]

Immediately funny how the sister is like "you are ruining the vaction if you are not taking care of my 3 kids". Hm...... How about she takes care of her own kids?

[@TheKnightofAwesomeness]

Well, how else am I supposed to enjoy the vacation, watching my 3 kids?

[@clownrat5759]

@@TheKnightofAwesomenessyes, lol. My aunt had 2 children, a toddler and an 8 month old and she brought me along to Disney. Of course I was there to help her out with the children, but we still had a fantastic time even wrangling two pouty children. I had a great time and made a lot of fun memories, even if there were spouts of tantrums. That’s how kids are, sister shouldn’t have had kids OR should actually PAY for a babysitter if she wanted a “no kids” vacation. Not to mention, why can’t the grandparents, OP’s parents, watch them???

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@clownrat5759 It can be a lot of fun if they're good kids and they listen. Sisters kids sound like they have no discipline and so they'd probably be terrifying to take anywhere.

[@warandragon4713]

First Story: OP ist NTA, I think having triplets is really hard, having small children with all the same needs all the same time, but imho a compromise could have been they looking for a place everyone likes to travel to and the grandparents could have paid for some childcare with the money they don’t pay for OP to help sister

[@clownrat5759]

@@ruthsaunders9507 that’s my point, as long as they’re behaved and you have someone who you ASKED to be there with your kids, it shouldn’t be a big deal. The issue with OP’s sister is that she DOESNT ask op to go on the vacation to watch her kids, nor does she compensate him when she shirks off her kids onto him

[@GBunnyG]

Story 1: I kinda hope the sister finds any and all YT videos where we're all telling her she's a crap parent in the comments. Hey, sister? TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN KIDS.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Right? The internet is a merciless place and I know sister is getting tore up from the floor up on this topic. 😂

[@XcelesteXmagixX]

Right? If anything, the dad should be giving her a break or the grandparents!

[@ronhall5395]

A weekend I wouldn't mind helping, but a whole week or more, no thank you. I had a sister who had a four month old baby. She was in the middle of a divorce and was living with my parents for awhile. My parents both worked 2nd shift. So me and my three younger brothers were home alone in the evenings until my sister and nephew moved back in. Her STbX Was violent. So in addition to watching my brothers every day after school, I had to keep an eye out for her knuckle headed ex. I was 15 at the time. Her ex would sneak around the outside of the house after dark. I caught him a couple of times and had to tell him to leave. Next time I just called the Cops.I had no idea if he was bringing weapons or what his intentions were. when I turned 16 my now divorced sister began to pull stunts. She would get the baby to take a nap just about the time I got home from school. As I walked up the walk to the front door, she would exit out the back, jump in her car and go party with her girl friends. I then got to baby sit a now 11 month old boy. I eventually complained to my parents, but nothing changed. I had zero social life, just perpetual baby sitting while still keeping my preteen brothers out of trouble. One day my Dad sat us all down at the table for a family talk. Even my mother was asked to sit in. He then explained that the free ride for my sister was over. She needed to go back to work.. She needed to pay for baby sitting as well a rent for staying as with us. My Mom and sister were very upset. Then my Dad said he was not an being mean, but $50 a month for rent was reasonable. My mother offered to baby sit in the mornings for free. I chuckled and told her I wanted at least $1 an hour. Sister cried the whoa is me tears. My Dad dismissed the meeting with one comment to my sister, " you have two weeks to find a job, you better get started".

[@xelectrix]

​@celeste_magix Agreed. The last update makes it sound as though the dad works a lot of avoid being home, which is pretty sad.

[@mrs.h2725]

I also don’t at all agree with Mark saying he should consider going on his on own vacation. It’s cool he wants to spend time with his family and they should care about him enough to want to spend time with him too, and not just using him as free child care. I do hope the sister reads this, and is properly shamed enough to actually learn a lesson about being a decent sister.

[@kentario1610]

For story 2, there's this story of how a college student was taking an exam while having appendicitis and her lecturer was shocked and said she shouldn't have taken the test instead of getting medical help, and she'd said "I've had worse pain on my period". So yeah.

[@lightningstrike9876]

If your pain is that bad get medical help please that is not normal.

[@SilverMKI]

​@Blake medical "help" for things like this often comes down to advice to "have a baby and it will get better!", presuming of course you don't just get ignored. And of course in some countries having the money +/- insurance to get medical assistance.

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

I am one of those that don't normally feel pain during my period but some of my sister's do. I can sympathize with OP for resenting having to schedule life around someone else's period. My family planned everything around theirs. With update, it sounds like her pain was due to cysts so not normal, but.... She could have called him to give him a heads up that her period started and she'll come home to stay curled up on couch. Then he probably wouldn't have been as pissed.

[@kb1073]

My period was so bad thar my knees and teeth would ache. I always missed school and work the first couple of days, and certain smells would make me throw up. Actually, having a baby did make the cramps better and regulated my period. 😅

[@thecoolgrandma7208]

@@kb1073 🤔 I was fortunate in only having cramps once in a blue moon, and No worse than just getting a stomach bug. What did inconvenience me was my periods were never regular (and heavy for like a week😭), not even when on the pill or after babies. They did become more regular when I started menopause. Even menopause wasn't bad for me. No mood swings and very few hot flashes during either of them. Guess it was my body's way to make up for starting so early, summer after 4th grade 😞 and lasting for a week once a month for decades, sometimes twice.

[@GBunnyG]

The ESH vote on Story 3 is someone who would absolutely use mind altering substances in their recovering family member's home and not apologize for it. What an AH.

[@robertx8020]

Right? For a moment I though it was the brother himself lol

[@WraysCustoms]

That one pissed me off

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

I like the bunny pfp 🐇

[@Russman67]

Exactly. He should offer to take the brother in.

[@lindah3803]

​@@robertx8020 commenter 3 sounded more like a relative to me. The whole part of OP knowing his brothers lifestyle,leaned into relative. OP could very well have known his brother used. Just didn't know the extent. Which doesn't even matter. OP placed the rule of no drugs,no alcohol. Brother should have considered himself lucky that OP gave in to his drinking out of sight. Then the party,REALLY. OP should have booted his butt out the door then. Sister can STFU and take in brother. Let him party in her home. Let her risk her home being invaded by cops for illegal substances.

[@DenMotherArkala]

IMPORTANT NOTICE to anyone who has a period!! If your period is not regular, and/or comes with bad pain, etc., please see a doctor! You could have a medical condition related to your hormones (pituitary glands), or your reproductive organs (e.g.: polycystic ovarian syndrome)! 😢 Edit: Oh, hey. She has p.c.o.s. 😳

[@shinadark]

I fully agree with your comment. Thank godness that voters was able to help OP reflect on his behavior and that he actually asked his GF about those symptoms after comments about potential medical problems behind the pain, so that she could seek doctor and discover the reason for her pain and irregular periods and thus gain the treatment she needs to help her out.

[@alkiradehne2113]

Hey a woman here with irregular periods it's not always medical related sometimes it's just the way our bodies are and I generally get mine from 3 to 5 days the only one of my days I could do anything on is my 2nd day my first and third day I can barely move and can't eat anything because of how bad my cramps get

[@shinadark]

@@alkiradehne2113 Please do take note that DenMotherArkala clearly states the word COULD have a medical condition and not using the words DO/MUST have medical condition to have an irregular period. But you're right that a woman doesn't need a medical condition to have irregular periods, since you know your own body better then any man or woman could ever hope to know. I think that DenMotherArkala is just trying to be kind to point out that if you have irregular periods then perhaps looking up a doctor to see if it's only an harmless irregular period or a medical condition behind it doesn't hurt, on one side it's a harmless irregular period like yours and nothing have really changed or it could have medical condition that you can possibly get treatment for and make it easier for you in long run. Perhaps I'm wrong about DenMotherArkala's intention or maybe not who knows?

[@DenMotherArkala]

@@shinadark You’re right about my intention, actually. I’m well aware that a medical condition is not required to have an irregular and/or painful period. As much as it sucks, sometimes periods are just painful and unpredictable without an underlying reason. Still, going to the doctor could be useful, as they may be able to assist in easing symptoms, either through prescribing medications, or recommending diet changes and exercises (there’s yoga routines specifically meant to help those with painful cramping, etc!). I just want more people to be aware of these problems, whether or not they’re a fellow period sufferer. 😄

[@girlywench]

So I got my period at 11. (I had no idea what was happening, we hadn't done sex ed yet and my parents were neglectful arseholes) Seriously, my period wrecked me for years. Pain, pain, pain, heavy bleeding 8 days straight etc. When I was 11 my teacher (elderly male) told me "his 3 daughters never complained this much, I'm just being a drama queen" Ugh Mirena is my best friend. Ever.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: There's a difference between being asked to "help" with triplets and being the volunteered help for triplets. It's not on OP to parents those kids on vacation. Mom needs to plan the trip for her AND her kids. Maybe get her husband to do, I dunno. Something!

[@TheKnightofAwesomeness]

She's a single parent, go figure...

[@Criszgz22]

@@TheKnightofAwesomeness No,in the first story she's married,but apparently the husband overworks instead of take care of his children more

[@TheKnightofAwesomeness]

​@@Criszgz22 I stand corrected then lol, but I can see why he would rather stay at the office if he has to come home to her 😂

[@Kris-wo4pj]

​@@Criszgz22i think i'd tske overtime if shes this overbearing just cuz her brother wont do what she wants.

[@judyjohnson9610]

Yup, triplets are a lot of work. I'm wondering how good her parenting is as they are described as "rowdy" Anyways, there are four or five adults on these holidays. One person shouldn't be stuck with all the work. Hubby's attitude sucks, too.

[@michaelwoods3651]

Story 3- even if op wasn’t a recovering addict, it’s disrespectful to disregard someone’s house rules!

[@AlyssMadigan]

Tbh the fact that he threw a rager alone would've gotten him kicked out of my house. I'm not the parents, I'm someone whose still growing my home and life. Do not trash it and let strangers in and risk my belongings while I'm out of town. I think he was already the bigger person on that. Brother should've just figured out an alternative.

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

@@AlyssMadigan Absolutely. Incident 3 never would have happened because I wouldn't have allowed another chance after the rager. Especially since it wasn't just drinking but also smoking pot and cigarettes INSIDE the house. Hell no. No smoking allowed AT ALL allowed in my house.

[@RandomTrinidadian]

Story 1: If they could pay for OP, then the sister and parents should have no problem hiring someone to watch the kids. Kudos to OP for standing their ground and not being free labour

[@aparnarai3708]

I think I read an update (which is now private) where OPs BIL told him that he used to give money to the sister to pay OP but OP was never payed. Don't know why the mods privated that post

[@anu21856]

@@aparnarai3708 I did see that one I was wondering y it wasn’t in the video

[@aparnarai3708]

​@@anu21856yeah I was wondering the same I even deleted my half written comment thinking that I might have mixed stories Ok so I ain't mad

[@Calories_To_Calibers]

​@aparnarai3708 they privated the update because reddit had to protect women

[@fancyme.alter1311]

I was going to write this very thing. Glad I read your comment first.

[@Araraki-Itto1]

The last comment on story 3 made me face palm so hard. "You still kicked your brother out which is an asshole move to me." Sure when the brother purposely broke OPs simple rules despite knowing what he's been through. The brother basically said I don't give a fuck about your well being and OP is the asshole for putting his foot down for his own sake? "You knew how your brothers life style is like yet you let him in." It's called giving someone a chance. Ya shoot them for that. What a dip.

[@streamerssaymyname]

If OP wanted to be a good person they should have chosen not to have a druggy brother, simple probably. e.e

[@dionysus_adores]

Yeah like dude it's op house

[@Theimmure]

@@streamerssaymyname Your comment is worded in a way that blames OP for the brother’s decisions and disrespect, but I’d like to assume you misspoke…?

[@some0nes13lue7]

@@Theimmure i think they're just being sarcastic my dear friend

[@j_g9109]

@@some0nes13lue7 I think so too, but I’ve been disappointed with dead serious idiocy before. Comments that were just so ridiculous that they just HAD to be sarcastic... but weren’t. But I’m going to lean towards sarcasm for that comment too because of how they ended it (“simple probably. e.e”).

[@leaflet1686]

Story 3: What is it with all the drugs? Just do it outside or never at all! No drugs in the house, means no drugs in the house!

[@Digitalfairy]

Darn right!

[@thebigbadwolfe_27]

If he was my brother he would have been out on his arse after the house party, I hate drugs and strangers in my house, so all bridges burned. No coming back.

[@leaflet1686]

@@thebigbadwolfe_27 Yep! As you should! The rules were clear and he broke them all, several times. Ungrateful little wyrm

[@CaulkMongler]

It’s honestly not a big ask, idk what’s up with the ESH commenter. Even *if* OP knew how his brother was before allowing him to move in, the younger brother clearly didn’t have any respect for him to blatantly be breaking his rules like that.

[@leaflet1686]

@@CaulkMongler Exactly! He was a guest in OPs house, so he has to follow the rules!

[@AndyyWithAY]

Last story you have to enforce your boundaries and rules. Disagree strongly with ESH, brother agreed to the rules then broke them. He deserved to be kicked out.

[@marcsando]

And why the contradiction in his support for his addict brother before and now the blatant disregard if not contempt for him in his own home?!

[@ShyGetsHi]

100%. If you have house rules set ANYWHERE and you repeatedly and unapologetically break them, you deserve to be kicked out.

[@genevievemeuniere4047]

Yikes about story 2. As someone with similar heavy cramps for the first FOUR of seven full days of terror I can totally feel that woman. Yes, there are many other women with less heavy cramps and even shorter periods. But that is really such an individual thing. I get the frustration, I'd be furstrated myself and I'm sure the gf was very frustrated and probably sad over this too. I personally had to cancel plans, birthday attending and even a small vacation over that and it sucks. SO.BAD. I can only say best way is somewhat to work around it as best as it gets. In this specific case ordering food and looking out a movie she liked would have been the best option.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

Thank you! I was like - why is everyone bashing OP just for being frustrated? His GF has never expressed to him how bad it is, or at least it's not mentioned in the post, so please, give him some breathing space... ETA: he is still TA but it's not like he was being malicious. Telling him off aggressively is not the way.

[@lightningstrike9876]

While the OP didn't really put it the best, he does kinda have a point. Sure periods can be pretty rough but the vast majority of women don't completely shut down and put everything on hold the moment the bleeding starts. If your pain is so severe that you have to stop doing anything for days on end, you need to talk to a doctor and get some kind of medical intervention.

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

​@@lightningstrike9876Maybe she thinks it's normal. In the US, girls are forced to think that kind of thing is normal by society, so most don't get help and end up dying from the complications sometimes

[@Midnight0Mistress]

​@@lightningstrike9876 I am very sure she has but has been told that it's "normal".

[@mortimerbrewster3671]

I get how bad periods can be (so glad I reached the time in my life that I no longer deal with them) but my problem with the story is that it wasn't so terrible that she's still able to go to work. Yes, that is necessary to earn money, but she should also put in the effort for her relationship, otherwise it sounds like she's taking advantage of him ("now that I have him I don't have to do anything anymore"). It doesn't have to be every month but when he went out of his way to plan this great night, she should have been willing to go. She should also have him wear the Period Pain Stimulator so he can get an idea of what is dealing with.

[@abm5119]

Story 1: There are like 1 or 2 more updates on that story that provide background and stuff. OP lived at home for a while after college and up to that first family vacation. The kids were often dropped on OP so that OP's sister could go out on the weekends. After the vacation, OP moved out, much to the displeasure of his family. Out of the house, OP generally didn't babysit unless SIS provided food for the kids. BIL is barely mentioned, but he does eventually wade into the drama after his wife gets too entitled, and it was revealed that he was provided OP with more than just food money, but SIS was pocketing the rest. More screaming, more entitlement, more begging to take down the posts, trip is still on.

[@impishrebel5969]

I was the scapegoat and holy cow this story is so close to what happened to me. It was my sibling parentifiying me likewise and everywhere we went I was expected to babysit and I was even voluntold to babysit. I likewise had no life until I was about 22-23 because, GASP, it's hard to get one when you're constantly being forced to care for kids that aren't your own. Sister needs to back the eff up.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

JFC, sis just refuses to take the L and concede that she was in the wrong. OP told her off, Reddit told her off, her parents told her off, and she doesn’t even have the support of her husband, how can she keep doubling down like this? I’m going to assume that since sis is a big fan of Reddit that she probably listens to these Reddit KZbin channels so if OP’s sister reads this comment, you are in the wrong, stop being selfish and stop unloading YOUR kids onto your brother.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

She says SHE needs a break. Where the heck is the husband in all of this?

[@marshawargo7238]

Why doesn't sis place an ad for a nanny to come along? "Wanted, a nanny for triplets. Free trip, Travel provided with moms parents, Our itinerary, No input on activities & No monetary pay. The trip, transportation & hotel Is The Payment" That add should get lots of inquiries (😂 hahaha)

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 1: OP is not the A-hole. Sister is a HUGE A-HOLE. If she wants or needs help, she can pay someone other than OP to do that. Someone who is not using vacation time.

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 3: OP is not the A-hole. 3 strikes and brother is out. Brother is a HUGE A-HOLE. You never expose an addict to drugs or alcohol.

[@sonialinsey8083]

@GrumpyOldFart she’s probably the type where she sends them to full time daycare and sleeps all day, then complains children are SO HARD TO DEAL WITH. That’s why she doesn’t know how to take care of them.

[@HonorWillow]

Story 3: how fucking hard is it not do drugs in an ex addicts place? I would worry he’s doing something similar if he can’t wait until going to a friends place. I can’t believe that person calling OP high and mighty because they don’t want to relapse and want the rules of their place respected!

[@Only1199]

evidently to the brother and that esh redditor it's extremely fucking hard

[@lasagnalovingcat5335]

"I can’t believe that person calling OP high and mighty" That response Mark read was clearly written by a spoiled teenager whose parents have never uttered the word "no"

[@HonorWillow]

@@lasagnalovingcat5335 oh definitely. I believe they see any rules, even reasonable ones, as controlling even though it’s OP’s home

[@thetechguychannel]

The person calling OP high and mighty is probably a pothead doing a post-hoc justification of their neurotic point of view and "it's just a plant, maaaaaan" antics. I've met these people. Cut them out from my life entirely. They'll never get better and frankly I don't want them around my daughter. Inb4 "But you haven't triiiiiied it!" I have, and it's mildly relaxing, but the fact that I've also tried it also means I'm conscious of how braindead it can make someone.

[@HonorWillow]

@@thetechguychannel I’m a huge advocate of weed. I love it (as much as I don’t actively use it because it’s illegal for me and I’m too anxious to do it due to that). It’s a magical drug that can have amazing medicinal effects, but yeah its still a drug even though it’s a lot less dangerous than others including alcohol and cigarettes. It does sometimes produce bad side effects, though it’s not necessarily addicting in the sense that other things are it can be a thing that people can become dependent on which is not mentally healthy (or physically if smoking it as smoking anything is really bad for you) and it’s also common sense for me that someone who’s in recovery from drug addiction even if it’s not weed that they were addicted to may really struggle to have it in their presence. If I was somewhere where I could, I would use weed maybe like once or week or something mostly for medicinal purposes, but if I had to move into someone’s house in those circumstances I would either do it somewhere else or say “okay I’ll have to find somewhere else to live because we aren’t compatible”

[@sandrakranzwinther3286]

I'd love to hear this update: The family drama has moved from Reddit to KZbin and this Mark guy was LAUGHING AT ME.😂

[@audreym3908]

Me too!!

[@brianaschmidt910]

Apparently the bil gave sis money to pay for op babysitting on the last trip that he never got

[@NumptyMcGlumpty]

Not only was mark laughing at her, i suspect the 62,000 viewers were as well, jesus i know i was

[@madambutterfly1997]

Being a parent to triplets. I could have as much compassion as Jesus and look you straight in the face and say that's a personal problem

[@ricaivory6571]

Exactly. If your kids were disciplined then they wouldn't be rowdy hell spawns. The fact that your husband doesn't come home says a lot.

[@sonialinsey8083]

Oh yeah I would have said “Sorry can’t get time off of work this year, oh drat” and gone to the mountains instead lol.

[@carlrood4457]

There's a difference between a reasonable request and unreasonable expectations. For example, arranging a babysitting day or evening that OP is willing to make is plans around in advance is reasonable. OP (and grandparents) acting as an EXTRA set of eyes during family time events (e.g. day at the beach) to HELP the parents is also a reasonable request. In other words, act a support to the parents who are primary in minding the kids. Expecting a single adult to sleep in the same room as a bunch of kids and be a 24/7 babysitter is NOT reasonable. The parents "needing a break" is not a good reason to ruin someone else's vacation. I kind of like how BIL realizes they've been called on the sh!t they've gotten away with and knows crazy wife is fighting a losing battle. He KNEW the deal they were getting and it wouldn't last. His wife doesn't.

[@khaleesireyna731]

​@carlrood4457 honestly, a lot of parents in general are some of the most entitled asshats when it comes to single people's time and energy. "But raising kids is hard!", "I need a break" like pay for it, then. You're not special and your time is not magically more valuable because you reproduced. Get a grip.

[@rainbowunicorn709]

Story #3: Why forgiveness can be a poison. The lowlife violated your boundaries and you let it go so he kept behaving in worse and more invasive ways. It was only downhill from there. When someone says "I'm not speaking to you," enjoy it while it lasts because it won't. He won't apologize for repeatedly violating your boundaries? Okay, screw off and have a nice life. When he finally did apologize, it was probably fake and a strategic move in the interest of future convenience or acquiescence to family pressure. After all, if the family is upset with him, harder to use them. I wouldn't have broken the bong, but everything else was right on.

[@ApricotStone]

Maaaark your take on the period story actually made me tear up a bit. Op’s girlfriend’s periods and your former coworker’s sound a lot like mine and it’s not something I’d wish on my worst enemy. They’re irregular, heavy to the point of iron deficiency, so painful I can’t walk, and I once had negative side effects from pain killers bc I was taking to many in a futile attempt to stop the pain. And when you’re a person with periods struggling with this, nobody-not doctors, not family members, and not even other period havers can fully comprehend. My girlfriend does her best, but still- I just feel so bad for op’s girlfriend-

[@ctsbathory8867]

Please see a doctor and although it can be hard fight like he'll to make them listen and take action. Just had my hysterectomy ans although the healing is hard it's better than it was before. Take your pushiest bitchiest friend with you and don't let the gaslight you that this is normal its not.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 nta good on op standing his ground. If I was him I'd still go on vacation. Just by myself.

[@carolinenagel7085]

Story 1: I loved that the sister read OP's Reddit post and was surprised nobody agreed with her. That made me laugh out loud. What did she expect? How selfabsorbed can any one person be?

[@khaleesireyna731]

It never surprises me. Especially with parents. Not all parents are like this, but enough parents seem to think that because THEY have kids, every single person they know should cater to them and their time is less valuable. I've legit seen stories about people who get upset because a single person had been planning their vacation for months, had the time off booked, and that person had the audacity in their minds to say no when a coworker with 3 kids wanted to take her kids to Disney World and the single employee wouldn't give up her vacation so that mommy dearest could take her kids to Disney World. Meanwhile, these are the same people who go on about how hard it is to be a parent in today's day and age because "everyone's judging you"... maybe people wouldn't judge you if weren't constantly trying to make your kids everyone else's responsibility.

[@candicewaits9271]

Story 3 - NTA. He put the rules in place for a reason. His brother didn't GAF about those rules. How in the hell did the commenter think that he was an a&&h*** for kicking him out after numerous times of breaking the rules?

[@MasterBuilderDragon]

They're probably an addict that hides behind the "lifestyle" argument.

[@caseydemmings6666]

And sister say talk it out , she crazy.

[@SugarDreamsArt]

In response to Story 2: I have endometriosis. When I get my periods (and even sometimes without periods) it is extremely painful. I sometimes can not move for a few days. I am not going to go into full details about it (and you addressed it @10:15 ) but it is absolutely hell. I've had abusive ex's not understand the amount of pain I was in-- but now I have my fiance. He actually was estactic when we came up with some ideas to help me, because he expressed how when these flair ups happen-- he feels so helpless. He just wants to help me. He takes the time to be with me, and understands that I can not do much. If I ask for a cuddle, hes there in a heartbeat. If I ask him for my rice sock (my heating pad) he is on it straight away. And he buys my favorite comfort foods. I honestly appreciate all the help he gives me, because without it I would feel like a useless burden on those days. But thankfully with my new birth control, they dont flair up as often. Even without endometriosis though, women just needs more understanding and patience Edit: Im never okay with name calling however, so I think the girlfriend is wrong there. My fiance and I playfully call eachother bad names, but never in anger / with intention.

[@paigeb5390]

As someone who has a duel diagnosis of PCOS and Endometriosis, I am really happy to see that Reddit helped the guy in story 2 to empathize with his girlfriend, learn more about periods (and conditions that can make them worse/more painful), and encouraged her to speak to a doctor. It's sad to hear that she has PCOS, however it's really nice to see that he is supportive of her now. It's not often that I see a Reddit post about periods that lead to a positive change.

[@davidkristahay]

Same duel diagnosis fun over here and my first thought was oh NO….if this guy has noticed the huge difference between her periods and other women’s, she may have a medical issue :(

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

I have the same conditions. I am currently working with doctors because of the level of pain. I am glad to see positive change.

[@fleurpouvior2967]

Ah yes, we as people should all put aside our own grief and pain and needs to pamper someone who puts in zero effort to help us when our family dies. Because its healthy for me as a women with duodiagnosis who bleeds for 9 months straight without medication, to say my issues are more important than someone I love who lost a parent. That totally leads to healthy relationships with zero red flags and is no way emotionaly abusive.

[@bpmfj5422]

​@@fleurpouvior2967lol that is not what is being discussed here or in the story. No one is asking or telling OP to pamper her girlfriend, no one is telling OP he should ignore his pain and grief. Stop imagining situations in your mind.

[@GalaGrinsArt]

Seems like an everyone sucks here situation. He was being a dick about not understanding she was in pain, however she got emotionally and verbally abusive. Who in the hell blows up like that?

[@maurer3d]

Story 1 (before update): NTA, it would be one thing if she asked you (not force you) to watch the kids for one day of the vacation, but to rope you into it everyday, so her and her husband can do whatever they want all week is ridiculous, and making you bunk with the kids was right out insane.

[@audreym3908]

I read another comment that there was another update. Apparently the BIL was paying OP from the last vacation but handed it to his wife and she pocketed it. Hopefully she'll have very little to 0 help soon once the BIL divorces her cheap ass.

[@tracybrunner863]

Story 2 - my step daughter has PCOS & ENDO & suffer greatly. Her pain was gets so bad that once she was suffering in silence when my daughter (nurse) convinced her to go to the hospital. Turns out she had appendicitis & didn’t realise it. Living with that sort of pain & still being able to function & laugh shows how tough & strong she is.

[@DJace3000]

A commenter basically asked "OP's sister has no one's support in this, how can she keep doubling down?!" Simple answer: she's _that_ type of people.

[@lilaccreeper2005]

Story 2: YTA everyone has periods differently. My sister gets no cramps at all but I can be curled up on the sofa like his gf is. My revenge is that I have no issue with hay fever and a single tree can take her out sometimes. People experience things differently, just because one person is fine on their period, not everyone is.

[@Batman-lg2zj]

Only women have periods.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Before i had kids i would hurt so bad i couldn't move without crying and i have a high tolerance to pain. I walked around a week on a broken leg without even knowing it. So I didn't let pain stop me but I tell you what them damn cramps could

[@BruinPhD2009]

Hay fever, HOLY MOLEY! I read that and my eyes started to swell shut. Everybody in my family has it to varying degrees, none of it pleasant. Please pass on my sympathy and empathy to your sister. 😅 I’m a man, so I can’t say anything about period pain AND I’m smart enough to keep my mouth shut on the subject. 😂

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@roselaflora i know right. 😂

[@simac8396]

did you miss the part about OP's dad died earlier that week?

[@JMac7395]

Story 1: I've always found it weird how some parents think that people w/out kids are automatically obligated to being FREE baby sitters for them. Contrary to what some parents tell themselves to justify taking advantage of other people's time, people w/out kids do have lives. What they're doing with there may not interest the parents but it's none of their business to begin with.

[@phtevlin]

#3 My parents were alcoholics. Thankfully they got sober, and remained until both passed away. During this time, we 5 kids never brought booze or tobacco into their house out of respect for them. This was between 1982-2002.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

#2 Poor guy. Even a lot of women don't understand really bad periods and think its just a pity party. Many women often use it as an excuse to get out of things too (when their fine). Its not unreasonable for him to be suspicious when she always seems to be cancelling special events at the last minute. Glad they were able to talk things out and hope her treatment helps.

[@wildfyah]

From a different perspective, if your period is causing you to cancel even on fun plans I'd flag it as good enough reason to get it checked out

[@somebody6777]

I can't even walk when I am on mine and apparently it is pretty common

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1: the sister might vas well have said, " You'll be ruining my vacation if you don't let me ruin your vacation." Based on the parents reaction and the sister's reaction it's obvious they brought OP along strictly to be a babysitter

[@katiecunliffe5791]

Story 2 - yeah periods are different for all women and can also change over your life. Before I had my daughter my periods were debilitating but once I had my daughter they are less painful. Glad he took her to the doctors eventually and sorry for his loss.

[@marcsando]

Story 3: If your brother did not respect you in your own home this time he never will. If you take him back even after "talking it out" he will repeat and again you will be the bad guy. You have come so far PLEASE do not compromise!!

[@renaeodonnell4558]

Story 2. Your allowed to be upset about the date, especially after your update, but blaming her for having her period makes you the YTA. Has your gf gotten her symptoms checked out? If taking over the counter meds can’t help its a good reason to see your obgyn. In saying that, I have 2-3 days during my own weeks where I struggle to function, I have horrible brain fog, I get cramping down my legs, sometimes I’m cramping to the point of vomiting. I have a PCOS diagnosis.

[@princesszeldaprincess447]

Wow I also have pcos and I get no period cramps at all I do but I’m able to ignore them

[@bobdrooples]

Doesn't sound like she has talked to him about her situation at all. She just says, we're here now, we stay. No communication between either of them, no curiosity of her own health either.

[@elizabethevelasquez2884]

Honestly, the first story is so sickeningly like my family. My sister had 4 kids and is very much the ‘let them live their best life’ while I have 4 kids and have boundaries for my kids (no jumping on the couch, stop throwing toys over the fence into the neighbors pool) no lie, these are real life conversations I’ve had to have with her kids. When she comes for a visit the amount of stress I feel is awful because she wants me to essentially parent her kids for her and will legitimately threaten to send her kids to me if they don’t listen to her but then undermines me in front of my kids. I have amazing kids! Honestly they are the best, but a large part of that is the boundaries my husband and I have for them and staying consistent with that. I have to, I homeschool them. But every time we go anywhere ‘as a family’ I’m expected to watch her kids as she wanders around without even letting me know she walked away! But when I say anything, I’m told by my mom (who favors my sister and her kids) that I just hate kids, I’m just being difficult, just let it go bc I know how my sister is. I love my family I do, but as our kids get older I just can’t handle the level of stress being around them brings. And my kids are starting to see the difference in my their grandmother treats their cousins then she does them bc ‘they know better’ our kids are roughly the same age for context. Our oldest are only 5 weeks apart. But my kids know better and her kids just need more grace. I can’t! My husband refuses to deal with them and I can’t blame him.

[@TheFlowerchild712]

Story 1: NTA. Sister can learn how to mind her own kids on vacation. She's hecka entitled and rude. Did she really think reddit would side with her? 🤣 Story 2: YTA. It sounds like GF has debilitating cramps and can't get up. Poor baby. It sounds like she gets very sick with her period on top of the pain. It may be that no medicines that help her and she can't take anything to help because it's a waste of time and effort, sometimes its like that. PCOS is rough, really rough. Story 3: NTA. OP set boundaries. Brother repeatedly stomped on them. He gave his brother 3 chances! Most people would have toss him out after the first. I disagree with the sister. What's with the ESH comment?

[@TheTechFarm]

The first story is super messed up its even worse that ops parents didn't see what they did wrong until after op posted on reddit and they finally see everyone agreeing with op and calling them out as well as ops sister then they realize that they were making ops sister the golden child and op as the free help/babysitter

[@hugoumero9723]

and BIL realize that his wife and parents are the biggest problems and think divorce his wife

[@Happydandy]

If sis wants help wrangling her boys on vacations, well that's what her partner is for!

[@LadyBern]

I would say the money saved from paying for bro's vacation can be put towards a babysitter. But i get the feeling they'd charged much much more because of how the boys behave.

[@BonnieSetliff]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

[@DarylSimpson58]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

[@BonnieSetliff]

@@DarylSimpson58 Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

[@DarylSimpson58]

@@BonnieSetliff Her name is chamani White, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@BonnieSetliff]

@@DarylSimpson58 Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

[@jessicarichards6796]

“I planned this weeks in advance and she went and got her period”. Like she planned it. Then he decided to compare her to other girlfriends who’s periods where so much easier. What a dick. Also, I have PCOS as well. Knew since I was 13. However back then in the late 90’s, doctors would just put you on birth control to stop the irregular periods and tel you good luck. Now in my 30’s doctors know more. They have more options to help manage it. Now I finally have a regular cycle and not nearly as much pain. Hope the girlfriend gets a good knowledgeable doctor that helps her manage her condition.

[@robertx8020]

Yes!!!! every woman has a secret clock they can set to have their period It's just a weapon to use against men 🤣😂🤣

[@catandrobbyflores]

Like we can choose when the periods come. The guy needs to go back to school and learn how it works.

[@alyzu4755]

Story 2: THIS is why we need to teach boys about menstruation. Update: Poor guy. I'm sorry about his dad. And it's great that she got tested, hopefully she can get some help for it.

[@ronhall5395]

I had three older sisters and of course a mom. Each seemed to react very differently. My mother just got very quiet. My older sister still remained active but was moody. My youngest sister would hibernate in her room and not want to see or talk to anyone. My other sister was a B all the time so it was hard to tell what she was feeling. We did learn about this in school. Us boys were told what to expect, and told to just be nice for a few days. Nothing technical, but a glossed over version of what it was and why it happens.

[@ZeroTheHeartlessKing]

@@ronhall5395 same but two sisters, both were assholes altho one (middle sister) seems to go out of her way to terrorize me (the youngest and only boy) mom was ruder than normal but didn't act hostile i just learned to keep quiet and to myself lol

[@lightwork11]

In story 1, OP should go on vacation alone or with friends. Break the dependency on the family because they still see him as a little brother/babysitter. Establish your independence from your family. Then you could enjoy their company again without being obligated to be a servant.

[@dakotasan8719]

Story 2: I absolutely understand the frustration and aggravation coming from OP. It can almost feel planned or premeditated. That being said, still an AH move.

[@fleurpouvior2967]

Also an ah move to scream and accuse someone whos dad died that same week, for wanting to do something to try and cope with grief. My periods get so bad I've had to have blood transfusions, and passed out from pain more than once. If the love of my life lost his dad, idk what it would take. I'll freaking tripple up on pads, pop a cup in, put on period panties over depend, pop iron pills and midol like candy and slap a heating patch on my abdomen to try and be there for him. Even if it means skipping the movie and just having a nice dinner out then snuggling on the couch after. At least a compromise, so he knows she has his back too.

[@simac8396]

@@fleurpouvior2967 I agree 100%

[@phtevlin]

#2 I have Meniere's Disease, a rather severe case of it. One of the symptoms was vertigo (dizziness); sometimes rather debilitating. There were times I could not leave the house because of it. I cannot tell you how many family gatherings---Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays--that I had to cancel out of at the very last minute. So..yeah..I understand the girlfriend 100% here,

[@charondusk5608]

Story 2 - .....I want to see OP be hooked up to one of those machines that use electric shocks to simulate period cramps and pain, set them to the MILDEST setting, then see how quickly he'd rather spend the day in comfort instead of going out. He's allowed to be disappointed, sure, but he's not allowed to take his frustration out on her for something beyond her control. OP's GF was in a no-win situation here. Go out? She's in constant pain and doesn't enjoy the date and "ruins" it. Stay home? She's ruining it because "Other women can grin and bare it, why can't you?". I honestly wouldn't blame her if she was considering dumping him now.

[@Mglay556]

Story 2: I love how Op acts like his gf can semi control her period and she gets it on purpose when she doesn’t wanna go out

[@Sn1p3rSn4k3]

Then no one is the asshole. Women have to stop using their menstrual as an excuse for shitty behavior.

[@LordSeal7]

No?? He acts like she can control how she feels and do stuff during. Thats just wilfully miss interperting, still ops bit of a dum dum

[@dakotasan8719]

To be fair, I’ve met some girls who will fake it just to get out of something.

[@ronhall5395]

I do love the final update. He realizes he is being ignorant. He does his homework and Actually has some useful Information to pass to her. A big apology also.

[@JK-sh8rc]

My late mother in her younger days used to have such terrible period pains that she'd actually faint. When she was pregnant the first time, she asked the doctor if labor was worse than period pain. When he said it was MUCH worse, she thought she'd never survive labor/childbirth. Several months later when she was in labor she kept waiting for the pain to get as bad as her periods but it surprisingly never did. After the birth, she said her periods were relatively pain free.

[@historictruecrime5119]

I’m very happy that the parents at least have the wherewithal to acknowledge that the whole world can see the problem and that their keep the peace solution isn’t cutting it and now they’re putting their foot down with the sister too.

[@Victoria-qp1lu]

As someone with endometriosis that got to stage four and wasn’t diagnosed for a long time. Op of story two can go chew sandpaper. “I put up with her period” oh wow, so brave. “She decided to start her period” how in considerate of her. He sounds entirely cold and unfeeling towards her and her pain. Different women experience different levels of pain it’s not something someone who is Arab would understand. Before my surgery I was suicidal because the pain I felt was excruciating my parents who are the typical Aussie “she’ll be right rub spit on it” kind of people would be so concerned and gentle knowing that on the first two days of my period I was completely unable to do anything.

[@kyleanuar9090]

Arab? Muslim men were required to learn everything about period probably know more than western women. I thought I could pass the lesson but after learning I understand why we're required to learn as as men we're responsible for for her care.

[@impishrebel5969]

@@kyleanuar9090 LMAO You could never know more about a period than someone who EXPERIENCES them, dude.

[@alexanderhenby1362]

If she is incapable of moving during her period she NEEDS a doctor. There is definitely something wrong that needs medical attention. No one should be incapacitated during their period. The comparison of other women is a real asshole move.

[@Original_Tenshi_Chan]

Arab or AMAB? Because I'm not sure about the correlation to race and understanding period pain. Other than that, I agree with what you said. Also, I'm not sure how I feel about OP calling our periods "shark week"... How would he feel if every time he came, people asked him if his tadpoles are at school, or some other weird shit?

[@rabeaw6646]

As a woman who really struggels with her period to i think esh. If her period is so cripplong that she cant attend a simple date (not talking about sports) than she needs a doctor. There are many ways that can help. She might have a condition, she could take meds for the pain, or for a more regual cicle. I too like to stay home the first two days as much as possible but she agreed to the plan weeks in advance so it seems to be a really special place and you can bet that i would have found a way to attent that. Something regular? Na im staying but if so much effort went into it? He on the other hand needs to learn to communicate better, he soundet not very empathetic but for her to straight up insult him? Him beeing wrong doesnt need to mean she can be an ahole too

[@Slimmark2]

Just tell them if they keep pushing you won't go period, they're HER kids, she CHOSE to have them, they're HER responsibility...

[@ThatOddChickenHippie]

Story 2: woman here. She should probably get herself checked out. Maybe it's PMDD or endo or something? My periods are pretty bad, and the first 3 days are always the worst, but I try to avoid letting it interfere with my life as much as possible. If there are plans that happen to fall on the day I start, it depends on what the plans are and how bad the pain is. For the most part, if there are dinner reservations and pre-paid movie tickets, I'd pop some ibuprofen during the day to see if it helps, and switch to extra strength excedrin if it doesn't and try to suck it up. If the pain is still too bad (I have had some periods where the cramps were enough to make me cry, and one or two where the pain actually made me vomit), then I would expect my boyfriend to understand that I tried all I could and it just isn't working. If they were spur of the moment plans or just plans that didn't involve anything pre-paid, then I would lose my sh!t if he threw a fit at me, even if I didn't try to do anything to "make it work". That being said, dude has a terrible attitude and is ignorant as hell Edit: yup! PCOS will do it every time! Thing is hellish and I'm sure even the excedrin wouldn't have helped. I'm sure she felt terrible about not being able to help OP feel better by going on that date, but PCOS is no joke.

[@ndawn90]

"Being a parent of triplets is soooo hard!!" Yeah, that's exactly why OP doesn't want to take them. And he's allowed to do that because THEY AREN'T HIS KIDS!

[@amethystanne4586]

Good morning from near Mammoth Cave, Kentucky, U.S.A! Thank you for reading Reddit stories to us! I am glad you found the first story. I read it at Reddit, and was appalled at the entitlement of the mom-of-triplets. I** can understand how the mother felt somewhat. Until they were 6 years old, my kids would have wore those child safety harnesses(with ‘leashes’ attached) if I were in her shoes. Triplets, dang! I feel so tired just thinking about her situation. **I am a mom of 4: OldestDD was 4years old when my b/g twins arrived, and YoungestDD was born when the twins were 6 and OldestDD was 10. For those wondering, yes, each of the kids wore a harness when safety was a concern(walking in the grocery store, sitting in the high chair, etc.).

[@theyellowshoe]

The period story, mine when I was younger was horrendous! That first day, sometimes 2 I was in agonizing pain, & my flow was like Niagara falls! I always & I mean ALWAYS never made it to the bathroom before "gushing" 🥺 on floor. I'm 62 now so I'm glad those days are over.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Everyone being coerced to watch other people's kids: if I wanted to raise kids I would have them. These people are so incredibly entitled. I'd do the same accept I wouldn't go at all. I guess she couldn't control having multiple kids because they are multiples, but that's still a her problem.

[@damien678]

I don't want kids but I wanna help other people with their kids A big part of this is that I do not want to be pregnant nor give birth. Another is that while I don't want the responsibility of being a parent I know I can handle babysitting

[@brandygiovinazzi3460]

I've seen the first story in part before and was wondering if I'd see another update somewhere. Thank you for covering it! Now I know the ending.

[@telinhajp]

Good afternoon, Mark and Poppy! Wishing you both a wonderful day! ❤️🤗

[@amethystanne4586]

Who is Poppy?

[@carlrood4457]

TBH, the fact that OP is in recovery is just icing on the cake. He had a no drugs/no booze rule in his house. Brother abused his hospitality and broke the rule THREE TIMES. He wasn't even attempting to sneak it or anything.

[@jenniferdaniels701]

I agree with you on story 1- go on your own vacation. Oops, I couldn't get the days of your trip off. I didn't ask far enough ahead of time to get them. Sorry not sorry. I'm an aunt who's been in a similar position. I was expected to babysit and watch them at family reunions (even when another adult is outside with their kids). They're 18 and 16 now.

[@michamocha]

S3: That ESH was a weird take. "You took him in anyways knowing his lifestyle" Op opened up his home to his brother who's old enough to know how to do those things _outside_ of the house. If he knows enough people to throw a huge party, he knows enough to chill at their place and do those things there. He's an adult and knows how to follow 3 basic rules. He had three chances but kept screwing up so it's Op's right to end their arrangement.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

1) NTA. I'm a mom of two, I've been debating sending a massive apology message to my partners best friend girlfriend who massively helped me with my two children when we went to visit them. I nearly broke down sobbing a couple different times because of trying to chase them both down and I felt so awful, especially because it wasn't her job to worry about my kids, but she still played with them and handled them very well. I felt so awful because I'm their mom and I couldn't manage them both all by myself and when I did manage to pin them down, they were loudly crying because they wanted to explore and play with the cats that they were beginning to aggravate and get hissed at by for playing too rough. Just thinking about it I feel embarrassed that I couldn't force two toddlers to behave perfectly and I feel so bad for even when my mom helps me, because it's not her job, she raised me because that was her job, having her help with my kids occasionally feels cruel even though I know she loves to do it because it means she's spending time with them and she loves them dearly.

[@MiraTheWarlock]

Story 2: Periods affect people differently. Some have cramps, some are tired. Me? My immune system goes to super hell and I get minor iron deficiency anemia. I'm BARELY a person. If anyone, and I mean ANYONE, told me to 'put in effort', I'd be throwing hands. OP's definitely not winning any favors from me- I think this is the very reason they invented that device that allows men to feel how women feel during contraptions at birth.

[@rainbowunicorn709]

So, lack of emotional self-control or entitlement?

[@streamerssaymyname]

​@@rainbowunicorn709 lol never seen House MD? Chronic pain does things to you, and being told to deal with it or put in more effort is disrespectful at best.

[@rainbowunicorn709]

@streamerssaymyname I have seen that show, unfortunately, and House is a loser prick who deserved a lot more negative reaction than he ever received.

[@justabunneh6490]

@@rainbowunicorn709 It's extremely difficult to control raging emotions, but even if we lose control and say hurtful things, it's on us to apologize and make it right after. Not doing so is only going to hurt everyone around you and nurture resentment towards you.

[@neutrality8747]

Story 2: NTA. They have a medical problem they need to fix.

[@roowyrm9576]

Story 3 & 4, communication and education sort things out much better in situations like these.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 based just on the title alone hard YTA It's just for 2 days?? Some women are incapacitated for a whole WEEK or more. He definitely needs to educate himself. I'd be out of that house and out of that relationship. I despise men like this. Just because you've never been around a woman who has it this bad doesn't mean it's not that bad. And compared to some women this isn't too terrible to deal with for you. Endometriosis, fibroid, PCOS. ETA it wasn't stated initially she hadn't seen a doctor. That's good she did, but a diagnosis isn't a cure. Treatment often involves hormonal birth control which can exacerbate the present issues or create new or worse issues. And health care is horrible to women. Many women see multiple doctors and they're like OP devaluing the severity. So it's good she quickly got a diagnosis, but that doesn't mean her issues will suddenly disappear and many women don't have a one and done apps and come home with a diagnosis.

[@rogerrabbit80]

Did you catch the part about, "she started her period"? Like it was something she decided to do just to annoy OP!

[@alexanderhenby1362]

Turns out GF has PCOS If periods are that bad, go to a doctor.

[@Wandervenn]

As someome who had endometriosis and cancer, she should have seen a doctor

[@stirlingarcher7972]

@@rogerrabbit80”She knew we had plans and she still started her period!! Why didn’t she just hold it in ?!” -OP probably

[@dustyrose192]

@@alexanderhenby1362 problem a lot of doctors still think we're faking the pain or its not really that bad.

[@seariddragonair1103]

Some periods hurt like hell for the first few days and sometimes they are random. They even can get worse with certain meds!

[@BruinPhD2009]

Story 2: My girlfriend in college endured such PMS (I think that term has been refined since then) that she was actually a part of a study at our university. So, not only was she in crippling pain that she had to anticipate every month, she had to be poked and prodded and give blood and a whole list of other unpleasant procedures to track said pain. It was hellish and I could do nothing about it except be as sympathetic as possible. OP’s update redeems him a little bit, but comparing degrees of suffering is never a good thing; no winners to be had there. Story 3: one of my cousins became an addiction counselor after recovering from years of active addiction. He told me the only way he can help people is to remind himself that he’s only one drink/one puff/one needle away from returning to that lifestyle. It will always be one day at a time for him and other recovering addicts. I would never do anything around my cousin to jeopardize his hard work. The commenter that gave the post an ESH rating is a complete idiot. I hope that person never has to find out firsthand just how perilous this situation can be.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Yea, PMS is aweful. It always starts a week/1.5 week before the period starts. My boobs grow a full size every month again and swells and hurts up to my armpits. The belly also swells. But the mental part of PMS is just as bad. Feeling down, exhausted, fat, battling binge eating desire. And once the period starts the PMS symptoms get replaced by period symptoms (which include monthly migraines the first days of the period). And the period better not be late. So to sum up the cycle it's 2 weeks of being normal, 2 weeks (or longer if it's late) of pain, over and over again until 50ish years old. And the doctors just tell you to deal with it, cuz there's barely research done on women so there's no meds. I'm one of the "lucky" few who gets a way out as a transman. The testosterone partly supresses the symptoms, and will be having a hysterectomy/ovary removal surgery on Monday \O/ Anyway, women hormones are so mean. Men don't know how easy they have it with their stable testosterone levels that don't make you sick.

[@madihaq2252]

SIPPING ICE TEA DURING PERIODS!?!?!? That's an epic no! At least for me. I avoid anything cold or cooling properties during periods.

[@jimdob6528]

Story 1 nta. I’m a family man and my kids are only my problem.

[@KarmikCykle]

So the sister pitches a fit that she can't fob the kids off on OP again this vacation, and the brother in law is actively avoiding getting involved. Yeah, real parents of the year right there.

[@peterwilliams6361]

Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasnt going to let my marriage of 18years crash

[@peterwilliams6361]

@EmilioYepez7 well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer

[@peterwilliams6361]

@EmilioYepez7 her name is *Victoria Lee Hess* ,and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster

[@peterwilliams6361]

you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.

[@Tralala083]

only 1 minute in, and I'm like: why do you go on a vacation with those people? Pay for your own, and you are no available for your "family". End of story

[@milescoburn1845]

Story # 1 - "You'll ruin the vacation!" No, what she means is he'll ruin the vacation FOR HER! Mark's got it right. Go on a solo vacation, without the nuts in your family (that includes the enabler parents who just want to "keep the peace"). The best vacation I ever went on was a solo vacation to St. Louis to watch the Cardinals play a three-game series with the Phillies, where I flew in First Class (on Monday), stayed in a hotel two blocks from the stadium, went on tours of museums, the Budweiser brewery, and other sights during the day, had all-inclusive tickets to the games at night, and then flew back on Friday (First Class). Taking a vacation by yourself is absolutely the most relaxing time you can have. Story # 2 - Jesus, the guy is an idiot. Like, he thinks she can start her period at will? Just because other women don't act the same as her doesn't mean she's, what? Faking it? If her period is that inconsistent, she should probably consult her doctor and then go from there. The topper for me was when he called her period "Shark week". God, I'm ashamed to have to include this guy in the male species.

[@gigga143]

S3: NTA.. i had an uncle who had been an addict and once he was clean and sober he didn’t allow alcohol or drugs in his home. none of us did drugs but we all did drink socially but no one did at his home, and it was easy to do so, even when we came to visit him from out of state.

[@khaavren3]

I have twins and though I found them super adorable as toddlers, I understood that they're more than a handful and never fobbed them off on other people. Luckily, my family loves them too and offered to watch them. I was always grateful to free babysitters, but I've never expected it. Triplets, though. Sheesh second story: "She started her period that day." Like she planned it. LOL. This idiot.

[@salomerodriguez5145]

I'm totally sideeyeing the parents for immediately turning on the sister as soon as the internet calls them idiots.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 2: YTA. Everyone's period experience is different. Some hardly have symptoms. Some cannot get out of bed. OP's an unsympathetic AH.

[@davidnash8208]

While his girlfriend, wh yelled and screamed at him the week his father died, is a saint? That he apologises and tries to help but there is no apology from her, that means he is still an AH and she isn't? He learned and she did not.

[@LoveableNiki]

@@davidnash8208 My comment was before I listened to the update, but I do not think GF owes OP an apology. People deal with grief in different ways, but no one is required to accept disrespect/anger/what have you due to someone's grief. Luckily, the couple patched up things.

[@davidnash8208]

@@LoveableNiki Well, I disagree but the world won't end because of that. Take care.

[@DrownedInExile]

S1: I'm so glad OP took action. He's not family, just a free babysitter. Whenever I hear that insipid "keep the peace" line from enablers, I channel & paraphrase my inner Thor: "You speak of peace, yet you court war!" I'm surprised and glad the parents turned on the sister. Aaaand it turned out she was pocketing the money she was supposed to pay OP with. He should go NC, she's a complete waste of his time.

[@TheArnaa]

Story 2: let’s hook OP up to a period simulator that matches girlfriend’s level of pain and make him keep it attached for the entire time she’s in pain. And force him to go out socialising etc while attached to the machine, while being passively aggressively attacked for not being sufficiently happy to be out and about.

[@nikkil.6338]

period story: NTA if you're in pain this much every month and are not actively working on a treatment plan with a Dr. then you are to blame. If someone broke their arm and doesn't go get treatment then how bad do I feel about their chronic arm pain - not at all (assume they are not poor to complete destitution.)

[@wkkowrld]

Because women are conditioned to think that painful cramps are normal💀 That's why most don't get checked out.

[@nikkil.6338]

@@wkkowrld Maybe before the first time he said anything but I'm pretty sure she was aware that her inability to function multiple days a month is excessive.

[@madambutterfly1997]

So because I'm in young and single you think that entitles you to my availability?

[@TheKnightofAwesomeness]

Apparently you have no life then because what else could you be doing... Hobbies and hanging with friends and family??? Get out of here with that nonsense

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 2 - YTA. I am not one who has period pain - at my worst I get a dull ache in my lower back/upper posterior - but I respect that a lot of other women do get pain. That is just being respectful of what people say they experience. But however OP thinking it over and considering why they reacted badly is a good thing, and investigating a medical issue is great. Reddit helps people think once again.

[@GBunnyG]

I know it's not your time zone, but I love that right as I get to work and make my coffee and settle in, I know I can listen to Rslash's video, then immediately turn around and watch your first of the day.

[@chanaleahsteinberg2645]

Me and you both!

[@kathyniebylski6735]

1 - OP is not the 3rd parent. And if the sister needs help, she has their parents to help.

[@felipeamezquita7827]

Story 1: My parents have all always said in situations like this and I quote: people are so quick ro complain about the responsibility of taking care of a kid but weren't complaining when they were doing the deed.

[@jemase7931]

"should talk it out .." Some things can't be talked out because one of the parties will not talk in good faith.

[@nataliereeves3594]

There are further updates on another sub where the vacation happened, but op had to go to great lengths to stop sister from dumping the kids on him.

[@ebbss4]

Breakfast Crewwwww! See y’all at lunch!

[@mrnoone1235]

It always baffles me when someone tries to give there child to someone else like you know YOU decided to have a kid right?

[@onionsbroccoli-on6jf]

Second story, I’m going to give OP some grace. Especially because he showed some compassion, and also he helped get his gf a diagnosis. He lost his father, which no one points out. and also he seems to be much more understanding for his gf, after people of Reddit helped him understand .He also was able to reflect on some things too, and learned more about periods. Also I do get pretty bad periods, and cramps. Some men just don’t know. Also losing a parent, is truly a brutal thing to go through.

[@podunk_woman]

S3, analysis of this incident, family dynamics, codependency and boundaries could be a full chapter or two in a book about addiction in families and recovery

[@tsunderemonarch4703]

Story 2: I have PCOS, and I have a friend with both PCOS and Endo. While I haven't had my period in close to 2 years (on the flip side my longest period lasted THREE MONTHS), I will never forget how much pain I was in the first two days of my period. And the worst part was that because of my PCOS, I could almost never predict when it was time for it to start. I could be prepped for a week only for it to happen two weeks later and be in complete and total pain. Even still, it should go without saying that OP is an asshole. He doesn't deserve her.

[@simac8396]

OP's father died earlier that week, did you miss that part?....what about his grife and pain? so women can act iirational during there periods but a man cant when he is in mourning?

[@honeyful1667]

​@@simac8396 Everyone has human emotions although he was wrong and that's the end of that.

[@tsunderemonarch4703]

@@simac8396 dont see how she was irrational by having a reaction? he's still an asshole, though i did initially go too far saying he doesn't deserve her. didn't edit my comment after finishing the story, forgot. also grief doesn't excuse asshole behavior, sorry. everyone grieves in different ways, yes, but it's still taking it too far when it involves hurting others

[@CatsOverBrats]

Story 2: I have endometriosis and that is extremely painful, esp. on periods. It doesn't matter how much you wanna schedule, it will take you down for hours on end where it feels like your uterus is being scraped out of your body with a rusty spoon. Best thing I ever did was having my uterus and the top of my ovaries removed last year to get rid of the endo pain and never have another period again. It's been so good for me.

[@DerekScottBland]

Holy shit, that ESH comment on story 3. That's someone who is just like the brother, thinks that an addict is magically "cured" after going without for a certain period of time. OP put down rules, brother accepted them, end of story. Red flags should have gone up when brother said "you're being too strict, I should be able to drink in my room away from you."

[@petthequeenofmaddness8592]

For story two I'm a say nah, like he didn't know how bad they can be and if dad died that week then the stress mixed with that fact she never told them about how bad they are for her and they just now got it looked at like no one knew so I can't blame them

[@sloh888]

so insult are pain reliever now ? op's gf went to curling on a couch to jump up, insult for a few minutes and runing away . :D

[@rainbowunicorn709]

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who noticed this.

[@romonaelrod7870]

Story 1,take care of your own kids or pay someone to do it. Story 2,Endometriosis is extremely painful, like labor pain painful. It can be accompanied by vomiting and diarrhea and chills and hot flashes. Symptoms can last for days. Story 3,if someone lets you live in their home follow their rules.

[@Allmightyimortal]

Story 2. I mean ironically him being an ahole worked out in both of their favors. She wouldnt of gotten checked out if reddit didnt call him out for being in the wrong. He wasnt right to do what he did though.

[@davidnash8208]

Neither was she for what she did.

[@Allmightyimortal]

​@@davidnash8208can't disagree with you on that either. Good communication is key to all relationships, from both sides.